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delectablysoggynacho-blog · 7 years

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Ocean’s Edge

I still remember the first time I came to this cave. The sound of the waves crashing against the jagged rocks. The leaves crunching under my light footsteps. The cool winter air nipping at my tear stained face. The strong smell of the sea salt. I come here after school every day so I don't have to go back to that house with my parents. I'm terrified of them; they beat me until I'm numb and don't even know my name. There have been times when I can't even remember my name. My name is Violet, I'm fifteen. That is the only information I know about myself.

I slowly walk forward until my ankles are submerged in the cold water. Blood is slowly trickling down my arm and into the water, creating swirls of crimson all around my bony and bruised ankles. The further I go into the water, the calmer I start to feel. It's something about the sound of waves crashing together that calms me down. The beat of my heart fills my ears along with the waves.

The water is up to my waist now and I slowly lay back to float on the water, my dark hair cascading like a halo around my head, and my light dress spreading out around my scarred, bony thighs. Why does life have to be this complicated? Why can't life be like the ocean? Peaceful and calm at times, and then crashing waves at other times. That's what life should be, up and down, not just down.

As I concentrate on my slow breaths, the waves carry me farther away from the rough stone walls of the cave and the jagged shore. It feels like, with each breath, I'm sinking into the water.

"Waves crash and so do I, they never cease and never die." I softly say to myself.

Millions of "What if's" and "Why's" fly through my head as the water slowly engulfs my slender, dress clad frame.

The water is up past my neck now, and a sense of panic floods through my veins.

I can feel the weight of the water and the pull of the current pulling me closer to the bottom of the water. I start coughing and sputtering as the wave's crash above my head. They fill my lungs and pull me down. They surround me with tiny bubbles of air and make my dress float all around me. The harder I try to swim up, the more the water pulls me down. My lungs burn from lack of oxygen, my brain is pounding against my skull. My heart is beating so fast, it feels like it's about to jump out of my rib cage. A school of fish swarm around my feet as everything starts to fade.

My heart beat weakens, the pounding in my head quicken and all sound around me is replaced by a buzzing noise. I stop thrashing about and just allow myself to sink to the bottom of the ocean.

"I guess this is what drowning feels like." I think to myself.

My back hits the soft sea bed and everything goes numb. With each heart beat I slip farther away from reality.

"Waves if I die today, carry my body far, far away." I silently plead as my heart beats one last time and I slip away from my hell of a reality.

"Violet!" A woman softly exclaims in my ear, shaking my bony shoulders softly.

I look over my shoulder and come face to face with a breath-takingly beautiful woman, dressed in a shimmering golden toga. She has an odd glow to her, like a soft caramel, and two big metal doors behind her.

"Sweet child, I am Hera, queen of Heaven." The woman says. "You are not ready to leave yet, but you may leave if you wish."

"How?" I question, looking all around me into the open green field with beautiful horses running free.

"The two doors each lead out of limbo, but be warned, one returns you to the Ocean's Edge, where you will stay forever. While the other leads you into the arms of your saviour. Choose wisely my child."

Hera disappears, and I look around to try and find her, but she is nowhere in sight. Where she stood just moments ago, there are now two keys. One bronze key and one silver key. Carefully, with one foot in front of the other, I go over to the keys.

"What key?" I wonder out loud "What door leads to what?"

I slowly kneel down to pick one of the keys up, but hesitate before I actually do pick one up. What if the key I choose leads me to the future that I don't want? I clasp my slender fingers around the silver key , and watch as the bronze one vanishes. I look back to the doors, seeing that the bronze door has disappeared as well.

Slowly, I walk towards the sliver door and place the key in the keyhole, using the little strength I have to turn it. An ear-piercing squeal comes from the door and then the awful sound of metal scraping against stone.

I look into the dark, damp abyss in front of me and walk forward without hesitation. No going back now. Using my arm as a guide of measurement, I walk forward, until one of my hands hits a wall and the other is left mid-air. I turn that hall and continue walking.

Water start pooling around my ankles, up to my knees until it reaches my waist. As soon as it becomes level with my shoulders, I take a deep breath and kneel down until my knees hit the soggy sand beneath me. I start struggling to breathe again, trying to find something to grasp a hold of. Nothing but a colour crosses my mind. The soft green colour of the ocean and the darkest point of the night reflecting in the middle. My saviour.

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delectablysoggynacho-blog · 7 years

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This War Of Mine

Snap! That's the sound of twigs breaking under the weight of my body as I trip on a log. Crackle! That's the sound of trees burning in blazing fires. Bang! That's the sound of bombs falling from the sky, landing on everyone's homes, destroying everything that we love. I look behind me briefly as I push off the ground and run. This isn't how a 15 year old should be spending her Wednesday afternoons, running from a war that is destroying her little village. I huff through jagged breaths, sprinting far away, not bothering to look behind me. I whimper in pain as my ankle twists under a fallen log.

My heart beats faster, almost jumping out my rib cage, at the sound of boot clad feet running after me. Scrambling to my feet, I painfully limp away as fast as I can without it being excruciatingly sore. I lean against a tree trunk as silent tears run down my cheeks and roll off my chin. I place my index and middle fingers on my temples, trying to soothe the aching pounding in my head. Black dots blur my vision as I try to take a step forward, the world spinning in a nauseating circle. I blink several times, trying to catch my balance as my whole body tips to the side. A pair of strong arms wrap around my mid-section as I lose all control of my consciousness.

My eyes open to blinding lights, my arms instinctively coming up to cover my dull eyes. As I lower my arms again, footsteps echo around the room. I sit up and shuffle back into the corner of the room, quivering in fear. The footsteps cease, only for a moment, before they start again. I look up through a curtain of dark hair at a boy, no older than I am, approaching with careful steps. He stops a couple of feet away from me and kneels down. I take in the clunky black combat boots and the beige combat trousers.

"Don't panic!" He tells me, with a calming voice that runs smooth like honey. "We want to help you." My chest heaves in panic and fear.

"W-who are you?" I stutter. Slowly, I stop quivering and stand up, watching as the army boy stands up with me. "What do you mean 'we want to help'?"

His deep blue eyes follow my every move as I move around the small white room. The room is a simple square with nothing on the blinding white walls. I spot a chair sitting in the middle of the room, a uniform like the army boy's lying a top of it. Going over to it, I notice it looks like it would be small enough to fit a young teenage girl. I jump back and squeal slightly as a hand clamps down on my shoulders. The army boy holds me tightly against his chest until I calm down. How can he expect me to stay calm in this situation? After running away from a home that is probably just rubble now, then fainting in the woods and waking up in this strange room.

"I'm Cadet Rodgers." The army boy says "But you can call me Wes. And that..." he points to the uniform "Is for you." I look at him, slightly confused as he walks to the corner of the room. I blush harshly as I pull my dark brown cardigan off my shoulders and let it drop to the dirty ground. I furiously blush and cautiously look over my shoulder. Okay. He isn't looking. I pull my long-sleeved t-shirt over my head and replace it with the dark vest as fast as I can.

"Right!" Wes exclaims, clapping his hands together after I have the combat boots on. He trudges over to me and helps me lace up the boots. As he grabs my wrist, he hurriedly walks out the room and down several gloomy corridors. "Are you ready to go?"

"Where are we going?" I question, watching as a sly smile spreads across his chiselled face. Excitement flashes through his blue eyes as he secures a weapon belt around my waist and starts placing switch blades and hand guns in it. I look at him, my whole being filled with confusion as he mutters 'You'll see...'

My jaw drops open as a metal pully door opens, revealing a field filled with people, some younger than I am. The youngest is probably no older than 7 and the oldest looks like she is in her late 70's. Oh my God! They're recruiting a rebel army to fight in the raging war against the soldiers taking over our small, rubbled village.

"Wes," I mumble, carefully looking around the field. "Why was I brought here?"

"Because we needed one more rebel." He explains, looking me head to toe carefully. "One small enough to sneak into HQ and disable the planes."

I look around all the rebels again, finding plenty of kids smaller than myself. I open my mouth to speak again, but get pushed forwards into rank before I can ask anything.

So, basically, they want me to break into GOVERNMENT Head Quarters and disable all of their communication to their planes? Is anyone else getting that feel from Wes, or is it just my imagination?

I clutch the side of the worn out, padded seat as the minivan shakes harshly from the force of an explosion just a few feet away from the van. This cannot be safe to be going out in. The youngest girl huddles up to my side, in search of comfort as the van tips to the side. Glass shatters inwards, cutting all of us badly. The side of the van facing upwards comes caving in as a hard unexploded bomb shell hits it. Everything after that happens is such a blur, it's hard to keep track of what's happening. But the last I remember is the sound of the bomb count down hitting zero.

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delectablysoggynacho-blog · 7 years

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Panic Attacks

I can't breathe... It feels like I'm suffocating... Or I'm drowning... My heart is racing, my head... Spinning. Am I dying? I clutch the cold dewy grass beneath my hands. I need something to bring me back to sanity. I need to calm down. I need to stand up against him. For my sister and I.

I squeeze my honeydew eyes shut and focus on my breathing. Five years, that's how long he's been in our lives. That's how long I've been having panic attacks. That's how long I've been getting beat every single night. That's how long ago my mum died. But the beatings are worth it, as long as I can keep Nata, my sister, safe from him. I have to keep her safe, I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her.

I huff out a few jagged breaths and stand up on shaky legs. The image of his dark hair and evil eyes flash across my brain. It feels like it's on a constant loop, playing over and over again. I wish mum never married him. Maybe then she would still be alive, instead of six-feet under ground.

I snap out of my thoughts as Nata's screams fill the silent surroundings. "Shit!" I exclaim "Nata!"

"Josh!" Nata screams as I bust open the front door "Josh! Please!"

"Shut up you ungrateful bitch!" He exclaims as the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoes through the near enough empty house. "You really think your stupid fucking brother can hear you scream from outside?" He snarls, punching the wall just above Nata's head. My heart breaks as Nata whimpers in pain and slides down the cream wall. I clench my hands in fists and stiffen as his gaze focuses on me. "Well speak of the devil."

My chest heaves in anger and fear. The anger towards him for trying to hurt my sister. The fear of him in general. "Leave her alone." I mutter as Nata rushes over and wraps her slender arms around my waist. I shove Nata towards the stairs as he stumbles over to us, moving his feet like a tightrope walker.

I back up into the wall and watch Naa run up the stairs. A cold laugh escapes from his blue-ish lips as he stands an arms length away from me. Even from there, I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He's always like this, drunk, evil, and abusive. I'm done with it! I'm sick and tired of coming home to this, to being hit. To a 'guardian' who's always bloody drunk off his ass.

"Why do you do this?" I ask through gritted teeth. "Is there any reason you're always drunk off your ass when I get home, and you're abusive towards Nata and I?" I see his eyes change from cold ice blocks, to a raging fire in a matter of seconds. I've struck a nerve and I know it, but I need answers. This has been going on for too long. We shouldn't need to deal with this. No 17 year old should be left alone with an abuser and a 14 year old sister.

I scrunch my face up in anticipation as he raises his hand above his head, ready to bring it down and smack me for stepping over the imaginary line of his that is very close to your feet. Like the yellow train lines, but a lot closer to you. So you have very little room to actually move on the station without stepping over the line and putting your life in danger.

His mouth twitch up at the corners and he emits a deep growl as he grabs my shirt collar and shoves my shoulders into the wall with a painful force. My heart heart races at the speed of a racing horse as he slams me against the wall a few times. My breath quickens as he lets go of me and makes his way towards the stairs that Nata ran up mere minutes ago. I squeeze my eyes shut as I slide down the wall and try to get control of my breathing. My eyes open and my heart rate increases as I hear Nata scream from upstairs.

I walk my hands up the wall and grip the hall table to try and stop my vision spinning. My eyes roll back a few times, my ears being filled with buzzing. I feel like I'm surrounded by bees. I slap my hands over my ears and moan in pain as my heart beats a million miles a second; painfully pounding against my rib cage. My breaths come out in short gasps, black dots blur my vision and the world tips to the side. I don't know if this is a panic attack or if I'm just exhausted. Nata's scream snap me back to reality and I stumble over to the stairs, tripping over my feet a few times. I look like I'm drunk off my ass like he is. "No! Get off me!"

"Nata!" I try and shout, but my voice is lost somewhere half-way up my vocal chords and comes out as nothing but a croak.

"Josh!" Nata shouts as her light footsteps echo on the empty stairway. "Josh stay awake please!"

"Go, call the cops." I croak to her, listening for his steps coming down the stairs. "I'll be fine just go!"I want to promise her that I'll be okay, but I can't. Not with him here, wielding a butcher knife like a fucking machete. Nata turns to the door and runs, grabbing the handheld as she goes and slams the front door shut after her.

My head snaps to the side as I hear heavy footsteps bounding down the stairs. I see him, with an enraged face and the butcher knife in his hand. "Where is she?" He screams. I shake my head and croak out that I don't know. I gasp as his eyes change to pure rage, and something cold passes through my mid-section.

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