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You can enact new patterns. You are able to grow and thrive. You are not stuck.
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journal prompts you can use to improve your life
journaling is a really powerful habit that i love because it has helped me a lot in my transformation and healing process. it also offers us many benefits for our life.
when we write down what we feel or what we want to achieve we are focusing and giving it much more clarity.
through this magical practice, we can solve any type of situation or problem. It helps us to get rid of fears and anger.
my favorite way is to ask myself questions that I can answer, this gives me more clarity and concentration.
i recommend doing it on paper in fact i have my own notebook in which every day i carry out this wonderful practice.
✨ some of its benefits are:
helps reduce anxiety and depressive thoughts.
improves cognitive capacity, writing by hand activates many neural networks and, consequently, improves our cognitive capacity. In addition, it also emphasizes that this activity promotes prospective and working memory.
helps cultivate discipline
improves memory
it helps us to create habits moreover, writing on paper those "tasks" or habits that you want to integrate into your life, makes your brain catalog them as "important actions" and it is more likely that you fulfill them in the day. What happens is that your reticular active system (SAR) files them as actions that you must accomplish.
✨ journal prompts ideas
for the morning - have a great day and focus on the positive and what we want to accomplish today.
how do i want to feel today?
what should i focus on?
how do i need to act today to get closer to my best self?
what should i avoid?
what can i do to have a great day?
what would i like my day to be like?
today…(the things you will do, how you will feel)
today no…. (the things you want to avoid and not focus on)
for times of stress or anxiety.
how am i feeling?
what has caused me to feel this way?
have i felt this way on other occasions? is it a pattern i am repeating?
how would i like to feel?
what should i focus on?
what would make me feel good right now?
is there anything i can do right now to fix it?
how would i like to act the next time this situation happens?
how would my best version of me act in this situation?
is there anything I can do to make this better?
to become our best version
what would my best version look like?
what things should i change to get closer to my best version? (like thought patterns, habits…)
what can i do to get closer to becoming my best version?
what do i commit myself to every day to be closer to this version?
what would my desired life look like 6 months from now?
what would my desired life look like 1 year from now?
what are those thought patterns or limiting beliefs that prevent me from living my life the way i want?
what is it that makes me feel fearful or insecure? (make a list and next to it you can replace the negative affirmation with a positive one).
write down 5 positive affirmations of how you want your life to be from now on and commit to repeating them daily.
to focus on new goals or habits
what habits would i like to implement in my life from now on?
what habits do i need to remove from my life?
what would my desired routine look like?
what can i do to achieve this?
what would be my dream lifestyle?
what can i do to achieve it?
what are my goals?
how can i get closer to them?
do i feel capable?
if not, what is stopping me?
what can i do to change that thinking?
against negative thoughts
where does this thought come from?
how does it make me feel?
how would i like to feel about it?
what thoughts would i like to have?
from now on i commit myself to…(list of positive beliefs you will have from now on)
for the evening, to end your day on a high note and prepare for the next day.
3 things i am grateful for today
how did i feel today?
what can i improve tomorrow?
what should i focus on more tomorrow? (e.g. goals)
how would i like to feel today?
these are just a few examples, you can use them if they help you or invent your own, the important thing is that they help you feel better or whatever you want to achieve at that moment.
it is important to write every day, even if you feel good, write how your day was, what you want to improve, what you can do to make it better, anything! but this habit is very powerful and will improve your quality of life a lot.
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For clinicians who work with later adolescents and adults, the DSM-V criteria are almost useless because they ignore so much which is vital to understanding how people with an ADHD nervous system experience their lives.
...they have little control over an episode of RSD once it begins. The incidents have to run their course. Some people with ADHD, however, report that getting interested in something new and fascinating can help to end an RSD episode more quickly than it would otherwise. In my clinical experience, neither coaching nor traditional psychological or behavioral therapies — like CBT or DBT — offer any prevention or relief from impairments. Nonetheless, many people report that it is very helpful for them to know that this highly disruptive experience is real, common, and shared by other people with ADHD.
Article updated July 11, 2022.
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Hello everyone,
I found this helpful Infograph on Pinterest that explains RSD and some healthy strategies. I know the text is hard to read/see, so I’ll paste it down below.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
What is it?
Emotional response to Percieved rejection / critism / disapproval
Dysphoria' is Greek for 'unbearable - & that's how it feels
Extreme emotional sensitivity & pain
Signs you’re experiencing RSD
Get particularly overwhelmed by feeling like someone is upset with you, disapproves of you, disappointed in you, etc.
Low self esteem & feel like a failure for not living up to other's expectations
Tend to assume the worst when someone says they 'need to speak with you, amongst other phrases.
Have strong emotional reactions that you feel embarrassed or ashamed about
Internalizes
More likely to experience anxiety or depression during the overwhelm.
More likely to cry and avoid
Tend to become people pleasers
Externalizes
More likely to experience anger during overwhelm
More likely to have emotional outbursts.
Tend to stop trung, slack off etc.
Healthy Strategies
Stress management
Mindfulness
Changing your inner self dialogue
Practicing Self compassion
Giving up perfectionism
The link to this article will be below in case any of you would like to read it. I hope many of you find this helpful.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
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psa if you relapsed
Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.
Just because you had one setback doesn’t mean your efforts are ruined. Recovery is not linear. Today is a new day.
You’re still worthy of love and respect.
Remember: you’re amazing for even attempting recovery, no matter how difficult it might be.
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"Non-judgmentalness is a good skill to develop within mindfulness practice as it helps set aside some mental space to take a break from the emotional rollercoaster of everyday life."
(This article links to my website which has no pop ups and you don’t need to sign up for to read posts. It’s as simple and safe as possible! Please consider hearting the article on the webpage?)
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This is a blog post my friend wrote for my website that talks about the DBT Skill: Effectively.
(This article links to my website which has no pop ups and you don’t need to sign up for to read posts. It’s as simple and safe as possible! Please consider hearting the article on the webpage?)
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RESISTT
This is a DBT skill that is useful for resisting urges.
Reframe the situation
When we feel overwhelming emotions, it's easy to start thinking things like "this is terrible and nothing will ever get better" especially with a lot of us dealing with a lack of emotional permanence. Reframing the situation means changing your perspective. While things may feel overwhelming and it's easy to get stuck in that, changing our thought to "Things are really hard right now. But I've experienced things being really hard before and I've survived. I will survive this too."
Engage in a distracting activity
The next part in the RESISTT technique is engage in a distracting activity. Pick an activity that you enjoy or find distracting. I find it helpful to create a list of distracting things I can do when I'm calm that I can pull out in times of need. This might include things like watching a show, playing a game, reading a book, etc.
Someone else
Focus on someone else. Maybe you can be there for a friend, or plan a surprise for someone. Focusing our attention on someone else can work as a distraction. You could even focus on your pet if you have one. Taking your dog for a walk, or a game of fetch might make them really happy and distract you.
Intense sensations
Intense sensations can work really well as a distraction. This might include holding an ice cube, having a cool shower, or have a hot drink or hot shower. Please be sure to do these things safely.
Shut it out
We're often told that "shutting it out" is a bad thing to do, and that can be really true. But sometimes we don't have much of a choice. If we're experiencing our crisis while we're out shopping. The goal of this is to get to a quiet place to sit down and think about the situation. Is it a problem you can solve right now? If the answer is "no", then try and visualize yourself physically putting your problem into a box and sealing it. Putting it aside for the time being until you
Neutral Thoughts
This involves thinking about things that don't add to your stress. Counting in your head, reciting song lyrics in your head or things like that can be helpful. Maybe there's an activity you can even do in your head.
Take a break
How taking a break looks will be unique to you. Maybe this means putting aside some of your "to do" list for the next day. Maybe it means taking a mental health day if that's available to you. There is no shame in needing to rest and take a break.
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The tough thing about boundaries is that it’s not enough to state them, you have to enforce them.
I think some folks see “setting boundaries” as a kind of magic talisman to influence other people’s behavior. “I’ll tell you what I need or can’t accept, and you will act accordingly.” And sometimes that’s what happens, and that’s great! But if the other person disregards your stated boundaries, it doesn’t mean setting boundaries didn’t work.
Because boundaries aren’t about others’ behavior, they’re about your own. If the other person’s behavior doesn’t change, then yours has to. “Please don’t discuss [x topic] with me” is a request. “If you continue to talk about [x topic] then I will end this conversation/hang up/leave” is a boundary, which you must then enact. The point is less about stopping the other person (although that’s ideal) and more about protecting yourself. And you have to be committed to protecting yourself, because no one else will be.
You have to be so committed that you’re willing to tolerate other people being hurt or angry or uncomfortable. You have to accept that some relationships might change. You have to hold onto the idea that it’s all right for them to change, because the way they were before was hurting you, and you deserve to not be hurt. You gave them a choice: maintain a relationship or keep doing the thing that hurts you, and they chose to keep hurting you, so if the situation is now awkward or unpleasant that was because of their choice. Enforcing boundaries means deciding that if someone is going to feel bad here, it need not be always and only you.
There is no magic formula that will make other people treat you kindly and respectfully. But you can learn to treat yourself with kindness and respect. That’s what enforcing a boundary is.
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If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.
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Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a FP?
Absolutely, yes! This is a list of how I manage that. Keep in mind that everyone is different and if certain things don't work for you, that's completely valid.
Please see this post if you aren't sure what a FP is.
One of the first things is that even though it may be uncomfortable, diversify your relationships! Have different people that you have different similarities with. For example, maybe you really love a certain show, well making friends in the fandom might be a way to have someone to talk to about that interest.
Focus on your own hobbies. It's important to try and find a way to be happy on your own.
Practice your DBT skills. There are so many different skills useful for different situations. Here is a page I am working on of definitions of different skills. If one skill doesn't work for you, please don't give up on DBT skills. I've tried a lot of different skills, and a lot of them don't work for me but some work really well.
Focus on keeping the relationship mutual. By this I mean make sure that you’re respecting their boundaries, consent and meeting their needs too (as long this doesn’t infringe on your own. If your needs conflict, that’s a bit more complicated and may require compromise.)
Teach yourself not to rely solely on them. It's important to work on things where you don't feel abandoned when they can't give you their attention. (This is where DBT skills are likely to come in handy.)
Work on your self-soothing. If your brain spirals that they don't care, work on curbing impulses associated with that(hint check out my urge surfing post here). Don't send them messages like "clearly you don't care!" Here are some tips for self-soothing that I've written about in the past.
Communicate directly. Don't hint at things. This can be exhausting, and frustrating to the other person. I know we feel awkward asking for things, but trust me that from being on the other end of this as well, I feel so much better if someone asks me directly.
Make sure your expectations are realistic. If you find your expectations are not being met, rather than getting angry at your FP try and step back and see if your expectations are realistic. If you determine they are, try and proceed with communicating with your FP when you're feeling calm.
Be willing to apologize and admit when you're wrong. This goes without saying, but people mess up. People make mistakes. And you aren't bad if that happens. But it's important to be able to acknowledge that and apologize to the other person without excuses.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but I hope this helps!
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“Stop thinking that other people are going to come and save you. You gotta save yourself.”
— Rae Earl
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Question: Does anyone have experience with this workbook so far?
I’m thinking of buying it someday as I’m neurodivergent but it’s price is driving me away as the amount of pages in the workbook are quite little. € 24,85 for only 79 pages is something that makes me feel like I’m being ripped off to be fair, but I don’t want to sound mean…
It looks really good but the price to page ratio is just making me very unsure. I also found out it has spelling mistakes so,,, idk. Calling Marsha Linehan “Marsha Lineham” is kinda funny but also like WHOOPS.
For those that didn’t know this book existed: I found it on amazon! If you don’t have worries about money feel free to buy this book and tell us about it bc I really want to know what it’s truly like.
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shoutout to all the people who are working hard as fuck to heal themselves but can’t fully heal because they’re still stuck in toxic situations or around toxic people. please know you’re doing all that you can. you got this. keep going.
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Disclaimer: I am not a professional, just someone trying to get better. Info for this post comes from: Marsha M. Linehan, "DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, 2nd Edition" (New York: The Guilford Press, 2015), 228.
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I'm sorry for everyone I have not responded to. This discord ended up being too much of a commitment for me. Please feel free to use the resources I've posted. Or the following links. This will be my last post.
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