Assalamu aleykum. You seem to talk openly about marriage and I do get the idea you feel ready for it if I am not mistaken. In contrary I have always believed I am not ready for marriage, because I grew up in an environment that heavily encourages self development first (getting to know yourself (& emotionally), your needs, what you can give to a potential partner, getting through past trauma's so it won't affect you in your marriage) before marriage. I am at an age everyone is getting married and I have also been encouraged to be more open towards it by some family members and friends. Yet I somehow believe I am not "ready" for it just because I want to present a good & healthy version of myself to my partner, not knowing I put high expectations on myself sometimes.

Now I am kind of confused as to when and at what stage we can say we are ready to get married? Self development is a never ending proces, but I just feel confused as to when one might think to themselves with confidence they developed themselves enough to get married? When did you feel you were 100% ready for it?

Wa Alayk Assalaam

Me?? Ready for marriage? I’m..I’m sorry I need to compose myself I laughed extremely loud when I read this. You don’t know me very well.

Ok in all seriousness, Jazaak Allahu Khayran, here’s the dirty little secret…no one is. That’s right! No one is. Anyone who says they are doesn’t know what they’re talking about. How do you go from being by yourself, focusing on yourself, staying away from the opposite sex(May Allah bless those that have done this successfully) for 18+ years and suddenly you’re ready for a person, your person to be around you at all times? Someone that thinks and feels differently from you. Your shared bond being Islam of course, but the pure human interaction side of things, that’s a big change.

So what do you do? Like most things in life you pray to Allah for success and then jump in. Yup. That simple. If you feel you’ve done what you can to be the best husband or wife you can and you feel the need for marriage then marry. Life is a series of jumps of faith and imaan is the parachute(I’m so sorry for this 3rd grade analogy), but you’ve got to just do it.

So many regrets in my life come from not just going for it. Now that doesn’t mean be impulsive and obviously if something seems like a bad idea don’t do it, but for the things you want, you’ve got to move. Jump. Take some calculated risk.

People get scared because there’s always “what if” but if is the door of the shayateen. We will never know everything and sometimes you might make a mistake but if I’ve learned anything over the past 13 years, I’d say it is to rely on Allah and make moves.

So to answer your question: You’ll never know until you try!!!

Disney sold lies. Relationships are not sunshine, love is not what you think it is. Marriage rates are down because people cannot be pragmatic

🕯️

المحبة التي بين الناس على الشهوات وعلى المعاصي والمخالفات، هذه لا تنفعهم، بل تضرهم يوم القيامة، وإنما ينفعهم يوم القيامة حبهم في الله وبغضهم في الله، وموالاتهم في الله ومعاداتهم في اللّٰه؛ لأنه عمل صالح، فيحسب لهم من أعمالهم الصالحة، ويوضع في موازين أعمالهم الصالحة، فينفعهم.

أمّا ما يتعلق بالدنيا وشهواتها والتحاب فيها فقط، فهذا لا يجدي على أهله شيئًا، ولا ينفعهم، بل يخونهم ذلك اليوم؛ يعني: يوم القيامة، فلا يجدون له فائدة، بل يضرهم إذا كان ذلك الحب أوقعهم في معاصي اللّه، أو تبطهم عما أوحب اللّه، ولا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله.

📚 سماحة الشيخ العلامة عبد العزيز بن عبد الله بن باز رحمه اللّٰه شرح كتاب التوحيد.

Got married? Still in Texas?

Nope and yup

I hope you are in the best emaan and faith. Please come back with a nice reminder.

Life is short. Become the best verison of yourself in imaan, mind, and body. Marry when possible. Don’t take on the world’s problems. You are a small pebble that makes up the entirety of the mountain. Worry about yourself and your status with your lord.

As salaam alaikum brother, May Allah make you from the people he loves and may he fulfill all your dreams, aspirations and grant you happiness. You helped me before with advice and I still think about it and it meant a lot, so I just wanted to say thank you again and may Allah continue on guiding you to do good deeds. Hope your doing well!

Wa Alayk Assalaam

Ameen wa iyyak!!!

I’m fine walhamdulilah

Assalamo alaykum,

Is taking photos of yourself or family haram?

Image making is haraam by consensus. Videography and digital work there is some differing. Stick to what’s clear.

Assalamu alaikum, I have a question about voluntary missed prayers from the past, I thought I don't have to make them up and alhamdulillah i do the rawatib but now I am in a complete doubt about the other view that says i have to make them up (around 7 years of prayer) , I just dont feel at peace and dont know what to do

Ok so I had some quequed up. Who knows how long ago these were.

I don’t know. I’d ask you visit the sites of our brothers like Moosa Richardson, and other students of knowledge. I know there are fatawa out there about this so I’d refer you to those

Doing apartment stuff like an adult. It’s been a long time. Any questions? Does anyone still use this thing?

As salamu alaykum. Hope your well brother. Your family and loved ones.

Wa Alayk Assalaam

I am walhamdulilah. Busy trying to build things and still making mistakes but alhamdulilah I’m alive and my family is well.

Baarak Allahu feek

Any advice for people who try to portray themselves as perfect beings, as if they know everything about islam and can hardly answer with saying "i don't know"? I find it hard to overcome this sometimes

You are different offline. If those same people who ask you questions knew how you spent your day, would they feel the same about you still? Think about it.

What did you exactly mean with your recent post about Kevin Gates?

How would you talk to him? We spend a lot of time in echo chambers s condemning people for the poor choices they make but I find when the opportunities of naseeha and guidance come we get silent. Lions on the internet but kittens face to face.

So how would you speak to someone who doesn’t know anything except being Muslim means he doesn’t eat pork, had to pray 5 times a day, and says Allah instead of God?

Literally, how would you talk to 95% of this ummah who doesn’t know?

🥴I wish

Wish what? First message in months and it’s incomplete

I want you to ask yourself, for all the quotes and self righteous condemnation we are prone to share, how would you approach someone like the Rapper Kevin Gates?

Because he is the majority of American Muslims from underserved communities. He is me and my family. I can tell you how the Muslims dealt with us where I grew up.

They didn’t.

Assalamu aleykum. I have always wondered if I am committing a sin for going to a school for both genders. As an unmarried woman, I don't see any other option. I get my degree and work, so I won't rely on my parents who are going through a financial problem. If I would be married, I would have stayed at home. I have tried to follow online courses, but it was not the best experience, so I decided to go back to a public school again. I don't know if I should feel bad about it or not

Wa Alayki Assalaam

Fear Allah as much as you are able.

What would you tell someone who uses the statement that we should take the good and leave the bad when it comes to them taking knowledge from ahlul-bi'dah or those who do shirk?

If they’re ignorant I’d teach them. I’d tell them the story of the Prophet عليه صلاة وسلام and the fig tree where the Prophet came to a fig tree and even though he found good figs, he noticed damage/corruption at its roots and the base of several branches and ordered the tree burned down. Then teaching the Sahaba that even if you find good in a thing if the base is damaged/corrupted it is better to stay away from it and find that which is not corrupted.

If they respond to this story and like it, I’d let them know this is not a Hadeeth. It doesn’t even exist. If someone like me could make up a story and have you believe it, how much could you be told that is not true? How many lies or fabrications could become rooted in your brain?

You don’t know “good” yet so stick to the basics and those who teach the basics. The scholars and their students. Before someone misleads you.

The greatest lie we tell is “I don’t understand”.

Yes you do. You know exactly why people do the things they do. Why people go into situations that promote all forms of behaviors that are displeasing to Allah. You hate to acknowledge it so you feign ignorance.

You speak self righteously because you’d love to believe you are “above it all”. You don’t speak about it because you’re so sure speaking about any of it, promotes it.

Because of this lie, those who need the advice, the patience, the direction turn from you. No one wants to be lectured or told how terrible they are. They want a reason to change and you could relate to that.

However to preserve your false sense of piety you simply say,

“I don’t understand”