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davyllastyles · 11 months

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Building a Home

part two to failure

Young dad!Harry x Young mom!Reader universe

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"Can I get you anything?"

"No. No, I'm okay, thanks."

"Oh. Well, there's a, uh, there's a jacuzzi outside if you want to go in now. Or later, obviously. But it might be fun to—to relax or something."

"I think I just want to lie down for a bit."

"Right. Of course. I might go to the store, then. Buy a couple things for the week."

"Okay."

Harry didn't know what to say. He'd never been at a loss for words around Y/n. For so many years, they'd been best friends as well as parents and husband and wife. They told each other everything, and now they could barely have a conversation.

As a way to rekindle things, Harry's mother offered to watch the kids while he and Y/n went on a little trip. Harry was unsure at first, not wanting to be away from his kids after returning home, but he was also willing to do anything if it meant that they could break past speaking more than a few words to each other, so he settled for a cabin that was close enough to drive home in case of emergency.

Y/n had been civil to Harry since he came home. She smiled when he played with Simone and Collette and sat next to him at the dinner table, but once everyone was settled for bed, a wall went up around her, and while they still got in the same bed at the end of the night, the distance between them was palpable. Harry understood why, and he respected Y/n enough to grant her her space, but he missed her so much his chest ached. He just wanted to hold her hand, to see that smile directed at him.

The drive up to the cabin was painfully quiet, but he just kept reminding himself that Y/n came. That had to mean she wanted this to work.

He held onto that tiny scrap of hope as he perused the aisles of the general store, as he checked out, and as he returned to the cabin and made dinner for the two of them.

Y/n eventually came out of the bedroom and quietly began helping Harry with dinner, not a word leaving her lips. He desperately wanted to say something to try and break the ice, but nothing came to mind.

After dinner, Harry and Y/n got ready for bed in silence. They stood beside each other as they brushed their teeth, Harry glancing to his left every couple seconds, hoping this stalemate would be broken somehow. But as they got into bed once again without a single word shared, he wondered if they should've just stayed home.

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"I, uh, I spoke to the owner of the cabin this morning," Harry said.

Y/n looked over at him from where she was reading on the couch. "Oh? Why?"

Harry scratched the stubble on his cheeks. "I asked if we'd have to pay full price if we decided to leave early. He said yes, but that's fine."

Frowning, Y/n set her book down and said, "Why would we leave early?"

"Because we've been here for nearly three days and we've hardly spoken to each other, Y/n. We could easily do that at home."

"So that's it? You're just going to give up after a few days of the cold shoulder?"

"Y/n, I am willing to do anything to make things right, to prove to you that I want to be a part of this family, but you won't let me!" he said. "And I know that you're angry and you're hurt, and you have every right to be, I know that, but I can't begin to right my wrongs if you don't talk to me."

He walked to where she was sitting on the couch and rested his hands over hers. Y/n was crying, but she wouldn't look at him.

"You left us," she said. "When you were faced with the truth, you left. Instead of staying and being what we needed, what I needed, you left us! You—You left me.” Her voice broke on the last word, like despite all they went through, she never expected him to let her down like that. “And I—I have hated you for it ever since you left.”

Harry bowed his head. He knew deep down that Y/n resented him, but to hear it was an entirely different thing. "You told me to go."

"I wanted you to fight for this family! For me! But you took the easy way out, and now I don't know how to talk to you. I don't know how to exist around you!"

She stood up from the couch and walked toward the stairs that led to their bedroom. "So no, Harry, I'm not talking to you, because I'm scared I'll say anything that'll ruin things for good."

Harry let her go, sitting down on the floor with his back against the couch. His own tears fell freely now that she was gone. Any hope he had crumbled into dust.

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Alone in their room, Y/n let herself cry.

Harry was trying, he really was, but he just didn't get it. After touring for nearly an entire year, he just left again. She knew she told him they should take a break, but she'd hoped he would stay and try to mend things. If not for her sake, then for the four children they had together. But instead he just...gave up.

Anne came around a lot, and had become the go-between for Y/n and Harry. She was the one who set up video chats for Simone, Collette, and the twins, she told Harry about how things were back home, and she was the one Y/n confided in when she felt overwhelmed by anger and sadness.

And boy was Y/n angry. It was easier to be angry than to sit around and cry, which she had no time for as it was. Now she was having a hard time letting go of her anger. Harry was home now, and he was putting in every stitch of effort with the girls and Julian. He got the girls ready for school, he changed every diaper, he made dinner, he cleaned up around the house. He was exactly the man Y/n had been hoping for months ago. Why couldn't he have been that man before?

In the cabin's bedroom, Y/n rummaged through Harry's things for the sweater she knew he brought just for her. It had been one of her favorites to wear around the house, before he left and while he was gone, but she would never admit that to him. It was at the bottom of his bag, though when Y/n plucked it out, she saw something left there. A scrap of paper.

Without really thinking about it, Y/n took it.

It was a folded piece of paper, worn, like Harry took it everywhere. She hesitated for a moment, then unfolded it, curious to know what was written on the inside.

It was song lyrics, a song Y/n had never heard before. Her eyes scanned over it briefly, recognizing Harry's handwriting and all the little scribbles where he took a misstep while writing the song and arrangements for music were scribbled on the sides. She looked at everything but the lyrics themselves, scared to know what Harry had written while he was gone. But curiosity finally won out, and Y/n glanced at the words Harry had been carrying with him for months.

"I'm in my bed, and you're not here. And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hand. Forget what I said, it's not what I meant. And I can't take it back I can't unpack the baggage you left."

Y/n mulled over each word carefully, trying to enter Harry's headspace as he wrote this song. She wondered how long they had been separated before he wrote this. Was it when he had just left or had weeks or months gone by? She wasn't sure, but by just the first few lines she could almost physically feel this pain.

She kept reading. Over and over again she read each word until she had them memorized, until they were carved into her heart. Of course Y/n knew that the separation wouldn't have been easy for Harry. Despite his schedule, she knew he adored each and every one of his kids; she knew he loved her. But to see with her own eyes how absolutely wrecked he was by his own failings hurt. This was never meant to be how their lives turned out. They were always supposed to lean on each other and survive as a family because they loved each other and wanted this life, but somewhere along the way, that got lost.

And Y/n could feel the regret of losing sight of what mattered most in the song. She could tell how much he blamed himself for everything that happened.

"And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again."

They hadn't spoken much since he came home. Not of how they felt while they were apart, nor of how they planned to move forward. But Anne had once mentioned that Harry felt as though Y/n and the family would be better off without him. Y/n was still so angry at him for leaving that she didn't think much of it. But now, sitting alone in a room with Harry in the same house but still as far away from her as he'd ever been, she understood. He was wrong, of course, Y/n would always need him, would always want him around, but she understood that one's biggest fears could cloud judgment.

Harry had messed up a lot, but he'd also been right downstairs. If Y/n was done, there was no use moving around each other awkwardly day after day. She owed it to herself and to Harry to make a decision, even if it did hurt them.

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Y/n found Harry sleeping on the couch, his legs hanging over one of the arms. He was still in his day clothes, clearly not wanting to enter the bedroom if she was there. Her heart sunk at the sight of tear tracks on his cheeks, knowing she was the one that caused them.

She wanted to make room for herself next to him, curl up into his chest and have a good night's sleep for the first time since he'd left months ago. She wanted to kiss him, run her hands through his hair, hold him close, but something inside of her held her back.

Their relationship was a mess that Y/n didn't know how to clean up. She didn't know where to start, didn't know if she could believe him when he said that things could be different. But she reminded herself that she came with him on this trip because she owed it to herself to try. Despite everything, Y/n loved him, would forgive him the second he got down on his knees and begged, which was why she'd been putting so much distance between him and herself.

But it had gone on long enough. They needed to talk this through. They needed to get everything out and see where they landed by the end of it.

Cautiously, Y/n went over to Harry and gently nudged his shoulder. He woke up in an instant, startled by her sudden appearance. "What is it? What's wrong?" he said, voice slightly slurred from sleeping.

"Nothing. I just...I just don't want you to think that I hate you," she said, unable to meet his gaze. She'd been avoiding holding eye contact for weeks, not strong enough to see everything he felt in them.

Harry sat up and offered her a spot on the couch, and Y/n took up a place on the opposite end. Outside of sleeping in the same bed, it was the closest they had been to each other in months outside of a hug when he first came home.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did," he said quietly.

She hated that he believed it, hated that she'd let him believe it. "I was furious, and I'm still a little angry, but I don't think I could ever truly hate you, Harry."

"I'm sorry," he said. Y/n could tell that he wanted to come closer, but he stayed exactly where he was, nervously fiddling with the rings on his fingers. She still couldn't meet his gaze, so she focused on his hands, finding it easier to look there while they had this conversation. "I'm so sorry, Y/n. If I could go back and change...everything I would. You were right to be angry with how I've handled my career on my own, and you have every right to be short with me. There's no excuse for how things played out, or how I dealt with you confronting me about it. I got scared and insecure and I let myself believe you deserved someone better than me, when all you needed was for me to be a partner. That's all you've ever asked of me, and you were right to say that I'd failed. And...And I'm sorry."

Would she have forgiven him all those months ago if Harry had said that at the time? Y/n wasn't sure. But the Harry sitting across from her seemed to truly understand where she was coming from, and he was owning up to his mistakes. If she didn't extend an olive branch now, there would be no coming back from that.

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For the first time in months, Y/n met Harry's gaze. Her eyes looked blank, though Harry knew it was only because she was heavily guarded. He apologized and would continue to apologize for the rest of their lives, but she had to let him back into it first. And he honestly wasn't sure if she would.

With a blink, Y/n surprised him by saying, "I found this."

She reached across the space between them on the couch to hand him a folded-up piece of paper. He didn't have to open it to know what it was.

Harry wrote the song at one of his lowest points during their separation. A month had gone by, and he still hadn't heard from Y/n. He FaceTimed with Simone, Collette, and the twins almost every day, but Y/n didn't send him so much as an email. After a month, Harry realized that this separation was truly indefinite, and that there was a real possibility things wouldn't be fixed by the end of it. For the first four weeks, Harry hoped that he could come home and work things out, but when a month had passed, reality kicked in.

He'd written the song at a time when he'd felt truly hopeless, when every mistake he'd ever made as a father and a husband gnawed at him. He was facing the reality that he might lose the family he loved more than words could describe, and the thought alone destroyed him.

Seeing the paper now brought back those memories, and now he had a hard time meeting Y/n's eyes. "I must've left it in my bag after I came home."

"I read it," Y/n said. "I hope you don't mind."

Harry figured as much, seeing as she was talking to him at all. The thought of her reading his song made his stomach twist, but at least she was talking to him. "No i—it's fine.”

"It's really good," she said, worrying the paper between her fingers. "I—I know the separation was hard on you, and I haven't made it any easier. I'm—"

"Please don't apologize," he said, reaching over to touch her hand. "None of this is your fault."

"But I—I never wanted you to feel this way. I never—Harry, how did we get here?"

Harry felt like his heart was breaking all over again. He in no way wanted Y/n to take responsibility for everything that went wrong between them. He never in his wildest dreams thought that they would've ended up like this. He loved Y/n with everything he had. He loved his family. All he wanted was to make things right, to be the father and husband they deserved and could be proud of.

"Come here."

For the first time in months, Y/n collapsed into Harry's arms. Breathing the biggest sigh of relief, he held her tight. He wasn't sure how many times they found themselves in this position, so often he'd taken it for granted. Y/n was crying, Harry was crying, but he'd never felt more at peace. He felt like he'd finally come home, even though he'd already been back for a couple weeks. Holding Y/n felt like coming home.

"I don't want to be away from you anymore, Harry. I hate it," she cried. "We're a team, H."

They'd always been a team. No matter what happened, it would be them against the world. Somewhere along the way, Harry seemed to lose sight of that.

"I know. I'm sorry. We can be a team again, I promise."

He didn't need Y/n to voice her wariness for him to know she didn't quite believe him. He knew he would have to win back her trust, but he was committed. Harry didn't care how long it took, his family was the only thing that mattered to him.

"No more music, no more touring. None of it means a fraction of what you and those four angels at home mean to me," he said, tilting her chin up so she could look at him. "I swear, Y/n, I won't step onstage again."

Y/n took Harry by surprise and kissed his cheek. "I just want there to be a balance, Harry. That's all I've ever wanted. I don't need you to give up your career, I just need reassurance that we're always going to come first."

"Done."

Harry knew it would take a lot more than just saying things to make Y/n believe them, but it was enough for now, enough to make it through these uncharted waters.

Y/n tipped her nose against Harry's, then again. His stomach swelled with anticipation as he nudged her back, exhaling some when she finally rested her lips on his.

It was barely a kiss, but to Harry, it was everything. He knew how much Y/n was going out on a limb by letting him in, by giving him a second chance, and he didn't take that lightly. She was the first girl he'd ever loved, and he'd be damned if she wasn't the last.

Y/n eventually fell asleep against his chest, her hands latched tightly onto his t-shirt as her deev breaths kept time with his. Harry stayed up, his hand running through her hair gently. Their legs were tangled together, and Y/n's cheek was squished against him in a way that made her lips puff out adorably. He could've spent the rest of the week just like this, not moving a single muscle, but he had a feeling they'd be going home early after all.

Nothing was near fixed. They had so much to figure out, Harry wasn't quite sure where to start. But he was holding the love of his life in his arms. Harry's life was starting to get back on track, and he felt a little kernel of hope blossom inside him as his eyes grew heavy. As he kissed the top of Y/n's head, he couldn't help but think that they might be alright.

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davyllastyles · 11 months

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Through the Dark (1)

(Harry Styles x Miller!Fem!reader)

(The Last Of Us AU)

(If you haven't seen the show or played the game, it's fine. But I definitely recommend it. This follows the timeline of the show.)

Joel Miller knew one thing. To survive. Protect his little girl. Keep her close, keep her safe and keep himself going. With Ellie in tow, the three of them in pursuit of the Fireflies, they meet a man. And whether Joel liked it or not, that man would change everything.

Character intro

Chapter warnings: Blood, suicide(brief),strong language .

Bill and Frank's-Lincoln, Massachusetts. 2023

With a slam of the hood of the truck, dad wipes his hands with a nearby rag. He sighs as he rests up against the truck, his eyes sullen as he avoids my line of sight.

I can't blame him. I'm the same way. The pain from losing Tess is still fresh, but now Bill and Frank? I know he just wants to get rid of Ellie quick and find Uncle Tommy, and it's killing him that he hasn't heard from him.

"Truck's ready to go. Grab what ya can, baby girl. We.. We won't be comin' back."

I open my mouth to respond when Ellie walks into the garage, hair wet with a smile on her face.

"There's hot water. You guys should shower, 'cause you smell baaad. Like you could wake the dead-."

Dad growls and glares at her before he stomps off towards the house. Ellie frowns, her face practically screaming an apology.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't-."

I force a small smile and shake my head as I throw a bag in the cab of the truck.

"Don't mind him. He's always like that. You're fine, Ellie."

She nods as she walks over to the gun wall, tracing her hand over a small pistol.

"Don't you even think about it!"

Ellie and I turn our attention to my dad, his hair wet and wreaking of Old Spice as he glares at the young girl. She mumbles something under her breath before walking over to the truck and leans against it. I sigh and head inside the house to take a shower myself.

I keep close to the guest room, not daring to go anywhere near the master. I try to take a bit of extra time to enjoy the peaceful silence as I'm done washing myself, but my peace is interrupted by a pounding on the bathroom door.

"Y/N! Hurry up! Joel is being an asshole and I can't handle him much longer on my own!"

Ellie bangs on the door again and I let out a heavy sigh.

"Give me a minute, will ya Ellie?"

She mumbles through the door and I turn off the shower and push open the curtain, reaching for the clean towel I had found. I quickly dry off and change into some clothes I had found.

I slip on my boots and run my fingers through my wet hair before throwing it back up in it's usual ponytail. I let out one more sigh before opening the door to see Ellie, opposite the doorway as she leans against the wall.

She looks up and gives me a small huff. She tosses me a stick of deodorant and I nod on thanks, applying it as we walk back to the truck. I hop in the front passenger side with Ellie in the back and dad in the drivers seat.

We drive on and on, only stopping to refuel and stopping once to sleep, since dad insisted that I couldn’t drive. We drive until we can’t, and with no way around the dozens of cars blocking the way, dad parks the truck and gets out. I start to get out but he snaps and glares at me.

“Stay in the truck. Both of you.”

I scoff and start to get out anyways when he comes over to my side and shuts my door.

“I’m not gonna tell ya again, Y/N. Stay. I mean it.”

I groan and fall into my seat as he goes looking around. He comes back a few minutes later, getting back in and starting the truck. He turns us around and I start looking at the map, trying to find another way.

After about 30 minutes of driving, dad gets pissed of and begins to snap.

“Y/N, I swear. You’re fuckin’ 29, you should be able to read a map!”

“I am reading it but it’s smudged! Not my fault! It’s hard to see clearly!”

“That’s some lame bull-.”

“Holy shit guys! Is that the QZ?”

Dad slams on the brakes and we turn our attention to where Ellie is pointing.

“Where the fuck is FEDRA?”

Before either of us can respond, we hear a shouting from outside the car.

Holy shit there’s a guy! Joel stop! We have to help him-.”

I force myself to look away, knowing full well we won’t be stopping to help him.

Don’t trust anyone but family. That’s what he always says..

Dad drives off, a little faster, ignoring Ellie as she complains.

“Seriously! He was hurt! You can’t just-.”

She is cut off by something falling into the windshield, smashing the glass. Dad lets out a string of curses and with no clear sight, we crash into a building.

“You two okay? Not hurt or nothin’?”

“ ‘M fine, dad.”

“I think I’m okay..”

He starts to say something but is interrupted by the sound of gun shots hitting the truck. We duck down and unbuckle, getting out the passenger door as the gun shots continue to pour through.

Dad grabs his gun and ducks, waiting to fire back, when he’s tackled by a man. The man starts to choke him and with every fiber in me, I try not to freak out as I grab my gun. I attempt to pull the trigger but my gun jams, sending me into a full on panic attack.

Before I can tackle the guy, I hear another gun click and I see Ellie is the one holding it. She hesitates only for a minute before she shoots him in the leg and he groans in pain. He gets off of dad, crying as Ellie continues to hold the gun to him.

I rush over to dad, coughing to catch his breath, but he only pushes me away. The guy continues to cry, spitting out apologies and saying that he doesn’t want to die.

Dad gets up and takes the gun from Ellie before turning back to the idiot who attacked him. He then turns to look at us again and with a stern clear voice, he mutters instructions.

“Back behind the wall. Both of you. Now.”

Knowing it’s better not to argue, I grab Ellie’s hand and drag her through the hole in the wall before pulling her off to the side. She lets out a long, trembling sigh as we wait for what’s coming.

“No.. No please no..!”

She squeezes my hand, though her eyes remain trained on the wall in front of us. It’s quiet for another moment for dad speaks up through the hole in the wall.

“Y/N, I gotta get in there, I can’t get through.”

I look around and Ellie pipes up.

“There’s some stuff against the door.”

“Well, hurry up and move it.”

Working together, we pull the desk back as dad continues to slam the door, before he hurries in and pushes the desk back against the door. He looks at me for a minute, worry in his eyes, but I shake my head. He then nods at Ellie and she shrugs, slinging her backpack.

“I’m okay. I’m good. I- uh.. got some food in here still and I got your light.”

He takes the flashlight from her and we head through a door, carefully treading outside, quietly making our way across the alleyway and into another building.

We quietly make our way through and settle by a window that’s covered in newspapers.

“Dad-.”

He shakes his head at me and I sigh. It’s quiet for a minute before Ellie quietly speaks up.

“Will we be okay in here?”

“For a Little bit maybe. Looks like they’re lookin’ through apartment buildin’s first. But they’ll be comin’ through these places soon enough.”

Ellie stands up and starts looking through the window, and that’s when I start to zone out. I can hear their voices, but not enough to comprehend what they’re saying clearly.

I feel dad take a seat next to me and he lets out a sigh. I continue to zone out until I hear Ellie call my name.

“Y/N.. Y/N!”

I look up and she looks worried. Dad lightly shoves me and I turn my head to him.

“Y’ okay, babygirl?”

I quietly nod, letting out a sigh as I plop my head against the wall. They continue to talk quietly, my eyes drooping before I suddenly lose consciousness.

The next thing I know, I’m being kicked, rather hard as I begin to come to.

“N-Y/N! Wake up! Come one! We’re leaving!”

Ellie pulls on my arm and I sigh as I get up and grab my bag, slinging it on my shoulder. I wait at the door by dad and he looks at the both of us, his face filled with worry.

“We’re gonna get through this, ‘kay?”

Ellie and I nod and he gives us one more look before opening the door slowly, with Ellie and I following him outside. We move quietly through the streets, somehow not running into any more problems by dark. We find an abandoned building and dad hoists Ellie up to one of the vents outside so she can get it.

“Okay, I’m in.”

“Take a look around first..Ellie? Goddamn it..”

Dad grumbles and before he can say anything, the door opens.

“Where would you be without me, huh?”

Dad groans and I laugh.

“By now, Wyoming.”

“Oh..yeah.Walking into that one.”

I let out another quiet laugh as I close the door behind me, following them inside. I pull out my flashlight, turning it on as I follow close.

“We’ll make our way up, and come morning, I’ll take a look at the city and find our way out.”

Dad pushes open the door to the stairwell, and as soon I see the number of flights of stairs, I let out a snort.

“Dad,there ain’t no fuckin’ way you’re makin’ 45 flights of stairs with your knees.”

I can see him glare at me briefly from the flashlight and Ellie and I chuckle.

“No, smart ass. Just like you’re uncle Tommy sometimes I swear. We’re not goin’ all the way.”

Ellie and I share a mischievous look.

“How far then, Joel?”

He’s quiet for a moment before he responds in a grumble.

“..As far as I can make it…”

We make it up about 15 flights before we start to pant from exhaustion.

“Hey.. That guy that said he was hurt.. how did you know it was an ambush?”

Dad hesitates before answering her.

“I’ve been on both sides..It was a long time ago. We did what we needed to survive..”

I frown, thinking back of some of the darkest days.

Seeing him like that.. I couldn’t look him in the eyes for a while back then.

He glances at me and I just shake my head.

“You two? And Tess?”

My dad shakes his head.

“Not Y/N. My brother was there.. And some other people that we were with.”

Ellie is quiet for another moment so I keep moving up the stairs, when her next question causes me to stop again.

“Did you kill innocent people?”

Dad looks at her before looking up at me. I avoid eye contact and start walking up again when I hear him mumble.

“c’mon.”

Ellie finally drops the topic and at about the 33rd floor, we enter the nearby door, all of us collapsing against the wall out of breath. Not even giving us much of a minute to catch our breath, Ellie kicks dad’s shoe and holds a hand out to him.

“Gimme a minute, will ya?”

Ellie shakes her head and kicks his boot again.

“Get up, you lazy ass.”

He growls under his breath before taking her hand, allowing her to help him up.He then walks over to me and pulls me up without breaking a sweat.

“Lazy ass.. I’m 56 years old, you little shit.”

Ellie and I share a small laugh as we follow behind him.We enter a vacant room and dad shatters the glass of the door, spreading it around the entrance of the room.

“What the hell..?”

She looks at me in confusion and I just shake my head.

“Don’t argue with him. Bill gave him a bunch of survival 101 tips and he uses them like he’s a fuckin’ Boy Scout. He’s spreadin’ the glass so no one sneaks up on us while we’re sleepin’.”

She nods and lays on one of the cushions she found. I toss one over to dad and he nods but raises a brow when he sees me sitting up still.

“I’m keepin’ watch Daddy, it’s fine.You need the sleep.”

He shakes his head and throws his jacket to me.

“Darlin’, you more than anyone needs some shut eye. Sleep. We’ll be fine. I’ll hear the glass. Promise.”

I sigh and lay down on the spare cushion, in between the two of them.

Dad’s back is to me and it’s quiet for a minute until Ellie breaks the silence.

“Joel?”

He hums as a response.

“Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?”

Dad turns over a little to look at her.

“What?”

She nods with a straight face.

“Yeah.. It runs in your jeans.”

He looks at her all the way and she begins to snicker, while I have to hold in my laugh.He turns back over but I catch a faint smile on his face before I start to snicker.

“Jesus..”

He lets out a small snicker as Ellie begins to laugh.

“That is so goddamn stupid.”

“You laughed, motherfucker.”

I snort as they bicker.

“I did not-.”

“Yes you did!”

He snickers and shakes his head.

“Jesus, I’m losin’ it.”

I snort as I curl up with his jacket.

“Yeah, kinda known that for years, daddy. Glad you’re startin’ to notice though. Acceptance is the first step to recovery.”

Ellie and I snort as dad lets out a breathy laugh.

“Go to sleep. The both of you. Stop pickin’ on me.”

I smile and close my eyes, drifting off to sleep. The next thing I wake up to, I hear Ellie shouting.

“Y/N.. Y/N! Joel!”

My vision clears and I’m face to face with a gun pointed at my head. I advert my eyes and see a little boy pointing a gun at dad, and a different man pointing one at Ellie. The man by Ellie is stern and snaps at dad when he looks at the little boy.

“Eyes on me. You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you, we want to help you.”

I roll my eyes and bite back at him.

“Oh sure, because what you’re doing right now is all sunshine and rainbows.”

The man pointed the gun at me growls and pushes the tip of the gun straight against my forehead, before speaking in a think British accent.

“We’ll kill you if we have to, so shut up and listen.”

I look him in the eyes, ready to send him a glare when I see his face.

He’s terrified, and I can tell by the shaking of his hands that he doesn’t want to be doing this. I sigh and give in, lowering my hands before the other man begins to speak again.

“I don’t know what the next step is with something like this, but if I lower my gun, we didn’t hurt you, so you don’t hurt us, right?”

Dad turns to glare at me, silently telling me to keep my mouth shut before he turns back to respond.

“That’s right.”

The man grows panicked, his voice shaking.

“That’s a weird fuckin’ tone, man”

Before I can respond, Ellie pipes up and I have to fight to hold back my laughter.

“That’s just the way he sounds. He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him he’s okay.”

All attention turns to dad as he, once again, responds in the same tone.

“Everything is great.”

“Dude!”

The man hesitates before letting out a sigh.

“Okay, I’m gonna trust him.”

The man holding a gun to my head begins to argue.

“Henry, we can’t just-.”

“We don’t have a fuckin’ choice, Harry! Now drop your gun before you shoot her in the head!”

The British man huffs but lowers his gun, freeing me from the uncertainty. The man by Ellie then starts to sign to the little boy. They begin to converse before the little boy nods.

“But if any of you try anything, we won’t hesitate! Yeah?”

Dad slowly gets up, gun still pointed at him.

“Who are you?”

The man stares at dad, his gun moving away from Ellie and now to dad.

“My name’s Henry. That’s Harry and my brother Sam. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now, my guess is you’re running a close second.”

All the guns are then dropped and put away. Henry pulls out a light and places it in the middle of the room, and we all gather around it, Ellie sticking close to my side. I pull out some of my cans from my bag and we all eat, though Ellie starts to nod off as she eats.

Henry looks at us, firing away with a question.

“Where’d you get these?”

Before dad or I can answer, Ellie sleepily pipes up.

“From Bill. He’s dead.”

Dad rolls his eyes and I sneer and snap at her.

“Ellie!”

She raises her hands up and I sigh. We stay quiet for the most part, but as I’ve learned, Ellie hates the silence and always feels the need to fill it with conversation.

“How old is he? Your brother?”

Henry looks at Sam, who signs to him before turning back to the curious teen.

“He’s eight.”

She nods and smiles.

“Cool! I’m Ellie.”

They continue to talk, Henry signing to Sam as Ellie speaks. The other man, Harry, sits quietly on the other side of Sam, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

“Psst. Y/N. Introduce yourself.”

I roll my eyes and turn my back to the group, leaning on dad as I close my eyes, until dad nudges me.

“Thought I taught you some manners, Y/N Miller.”

My mouth gapes from disbelief.

“Okay that’s it! A. We’re in an apocalypse right now, those don’t matter much and B. When the fuck have you ever used manners?! Sarah was the one that-.”

He only glares, angry at me for bringing up my sister. I swat at him and scoot away from him, my back still to the rest of the group.

“I’m Joel. This here is my daughter, Y/N.”

It’s quiet for a minute until Ellie pipes up.

“Psst. Dude. In the corner, Mr. antisocial. Are you gonna introduce yourself or-.”

I hear her whine and let out a small complaint, meaning dad must have done something to correct her.

“He doesn’t really-.”

“It’s fine, Henry. Fine, ‘m Harry.”

“Cool, okay. But why do you sound weird?”

I turn back around to enthralled in the current conversation to look away anymore.

Harry gives Ellie a small glare and I can’t help but chuckle.

“You’ll have to forgive her. We don’t come across many Brits and you’re probably the first one she’s met. He’s from a different country Ellie, he doesn’t sound weird, it’s just the way they sound there.”

His expression softens and he gives me a faint smile, and I can’t help but blush.

“Okay, well if you’re not from here, how’d you end up here?”

“Ellie-!”

Harry shakes his head, his expression turning sad.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. I was on a trip with my mum and my sister. Mum had a friend in California that was sick and she wanted to see her. Then the-.. Everything happened and we were separated. And that was 20 years ago…”

I frown and feel the need to grab dad’s hand. He squeezes mine and just gives me a nod.

We know what that’s like. Dad is real worried about Tommy, and I can’t even bring myself to think about where he might be…

“Look, you ate, we didn’t kill each other, let’s just call this a win-win and move on.”

Henry nods and clears his throat.

“You came up here to get a better view of this city, find a way out right? I can help you.”

Dad nods.

“We’ll get some rest. Wait ‘till the mornin’ to get a better look. But I swear if you-.”

I roll my eyes.

“Dad, shut up and get some sleep.”

He shakes his head and finds a comfortable spot, leaning back and closing his eyes. Everyone else falls asleep, leaving me and Harry the only ones awake. He crawls over to me and starts to whisper.

“Hey, it’s Y/N, right?”

I give him a small smile and nod.

“Yeah. Y/N Miller. Not that surnames matter much anymore.”

He gives me a small smile and nods.

“ ‘M Harry. Harry Styles.”

Before I can respond, I hear a snicker come from nearby. Ellie.

“Styles. That’s funny! What kind of name is that?!”

I turn my head, taking my sweater off before chucking it at her.

“Shut it, Ellie! Go to sleep!”

She snickers once more and I sigh before turning back around.

“Sorry about her. You know how kids are- But her especially.. She’s a special case..”

He shrugs and gives me a small yet comforting smile.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. She seems like a thrill to be around. Haven’t had much of that lately…”

I give him a small smile and hesitantly lay a hand on top of his, to which he gives me a bigger smile on return.

Before I can respond to him, I hear my dad’s deep, tired voice.

“If y’all don’t shut up and get some fuckin’ sleep, we’re gonna have some problems.”

We hold back a laugh and we get in our own sleeping positions.

“Sorry dad”

“Err, sorry.”

I give Harry one more smile before falling asleep, and for the first time in a very long time, I dreamed of a brighter future.

Daylight

Waking up bright and early per usual, we walk up a few more flights of stairs to get a better view of the city. Dad and Henry walk towards the large windows but instructs everyone else to sit at the large table in the room.

“Dad, c’mon-!”

He shakes his head and points to the table once more, responding with a stern voice.

“I ain’t arguin’ with you about this Y/N. Sit your ass down and stay there. And you too Brit boy. Don’t need to make it any more obvious that there’s people hidin’ in this buildin’. We clear?”

Harry and I roll our eyes but join Sam and Ellie at the table. And of course, Ellie has her book open.

“Hey, you guys ready for this one? I heard about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda. He is lucky it was a soft drink.”

I groan and Ellie bursts into laughter, as does Sam.

“Please god no. I can’t take it. I’m gonna burn that damn book of yours!”

She holds the book protectively to her chest and flips me off.

“I’ve told you, Y/N. You can never escape Will Livingston. You’ll have to face it.”

I sigh and Harry lets out a small laugh. I see my dad looking at us and nod to him.

“So how the hell are gettin’ outta here?”

They walk over to the table and Henry takes a piece of paper from Sam, and he begins to draw on it.

“The highways. Downtown. Us. This whole area belongs to Kathleen.”

He circles his fingers in certain areas on the paper and I narrow my eyes.

“And Kathleen is-?”

Harry pipes finally and has his arms folded as he speaks.

“She’s the leader of the resistance, and a hardcore bitch at that. She’s got guards posted everywhere, and she’s determined to make it impossible to escape.”

Ellie looks worried and let’s put a sigh.

“So how do we get across?”

Henry knocks on the table and Sam looks up at him. He signs to Sam before the little boy looks back down, writing on his pad before putting the pad up. Tunnels.

I furrow my brows.

“Kansas City has a subway?”

Henry shakes his head.

“No, but they do have maintenance tunnels. There’s a bunch of buildings all put up by the same developers. And they share these tunnels, including- a bank building here.”

He points to the paper again and I fold my arms in frustration. That is, until Harry speaks up, now pointing to the paper just as Henry was.

“So we enter the tunnels here, travel underground, and pop up here.”

Henry writes as Harry points on the paper and dad lets out a sigh.

“Okay, sounds like a good plan, but what do you need me for?”

Dad folds his arm and Harry speaks up again, dad glaring at him.

“What’s one thing that you’ve noticed is missing here?”

I think for a minute when it hits me.

“There’s no infected.”

Harry shakes his head.

“Yes and no. There are, just not on the surface. FEDRA drove ‘em out 15 years ago. Best thing those fascist motherfuckers did.”

Dad only growls.

“What, so you want us goin’ into a tunnel full of infected? Have you lost your fuckin’ mind?!”

Harry growls and before he can respond, Henry interrupts him.Everyone thinks that it’s full of infected, including Kathleen. Which means that we won’t be running into any of her people. But you see- What I know.. it’s empty.”

I raise my brows.

“And.. You know this how?!”

Henry hesitates before responding.

“No- but the FEDRA guy that I worked with told me that it’s clean, completely clean. They cleared it out. All of it.”

Ellie looks a bit hesitant as she finally pipes up.

“When..?”

Harry shrugs and hesitates before answering for Henry.

“About three years give or take?”

Dad and I scoff, shaking our heads as Henry begins to stammer.

“Okay- Maybe there’s one or two, but you handle it.”

I can’t hold it in anymore and I snap.

“And what if there’s more?”

Ellie grabs my arm, fear in her eyes and I feel her trembling.

“Or one of those blind ones that sees like a bat?”

Harry lays a hand on her shoulder to comfort the teen.

“There won’t be clickers down there, that’s for sure. But if you’ve run into them before and you’re still alive, that means that we’re all gonna be fine. So don’t worry so much.”

Dad sighs and shakes his head.

“So do we have a deal?”

Dad and I share a look and I let out a sigh before nodding. We grab our things and make our way down the stairs and out of the building. We tread through the alleyways before we reach another building. Harry makes sure the coast is clear before nodding, so we quickly head inside.

We jog through the building and reach the door to the access tunnels.

“This should be it. Are you guys ready?”

Dad looks at Henry before turning to Ellie.

“Get your gun out.”

She pulls the gun out of her jacket pocket and he rolls his eyes, obviously making note in his head to yell at her for it when we get out of the city.

The tunnels are drippy as we start to walk, and Henry joyfully pipes up.

“See? What did I tell you! It’s fine!”

I shush him and dad growls.

“We’ve been down here two seconds, keep your damn mouth shut. We ain’t seen shit yet.”

Henry sighs and looks at Ellie.

“Your dad’s kind of a pessimist.”

Ellie growls, as does dad.

“He’s not my dad-.”

“I’m not her dad.”

Henry holds his hands up in self defense and dad only sighs and shakes his head.

“Just point your damn light forward. And be ready to run(🤭).”

We continue to make our way down the tunnels, but in complete silence. That is until we reach what looks a mural. Dad slowly opens the door and we walk inside. Tables and chairs surround the room, as do more murals.

“I’ve heard about places like this. After outbreak day, people built settlements and went underground.”

“What happened to them?”

Dad shrugs and continues to ramble on as we look around. Ellie and Sam sit down at one of the tables and begin to laugh amongst themselves as they look at something Sam had pulled from his bag.

“Hey, you two. Keep it down, we’re not out yet.”

Ellie groans at dad and he huffs.

“Oh come on! Can’t we just rest here for a while? There’s like actually shit to do here.”

Henry shrugs and looks at dad.

“Wouldn’t be so bad to wait the light out a bit. Safer in shadows when we pop back out on the other side.”

It’s quiet for a minute before dad takes a seat in one of the empty chairs. Ellie and Sam decide to kick a ball around with the makeshift goal on the wall, leaving the rest of us to talk. After a while, we decide to keep going and eventually we reach the exit point.

As expected, it’s pitch black outside. As we walk through the streets, Ellie strikes up a conversation with Henry.

“So what’s next for you guys after this? We’re going to Wyoming!”

Dad turns his head to Ellie, glaring at her, but Harry lets out a small laugh and shakes his head.

“Yeah, maybe we’ll just call this a success and say our fond farewells.”

Ellie shakes her head as we continue to walk.

“No, he’ll change his mind. Trust me. This is how he goes. He’s like ‘No,Ellie. Never ever ever ever happening.’ And then I’m like ‘I’m gonna ask you a million more times and’-.”

She is quietly interrupted by the sound of gun fire.We quickly shoot down to the ground, rushing to the nearest car.

“Where the fuck is that coming fro-.”

“Shut up!”

Gunshots continue to fly through the air, and suddenly, Henry takes off with Sam in the other direction, surprising Harry.

“Henry, what the fuck are you doing?!”

“Getting Sam ou-Oh shit!”

They run back to the car and we’re all quiet for a minute. Dad looks over his should before turning back to us.

“All right. Stay here.”

“What?!”

“Dad!”

He shakes his head at Ellie and I, refusing to give in.

“If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you. I’m gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then I’ll take him out.”

Ellie shakes here head, her body starting to shake in fear as she grips my hand.

“But if you go out there, he’s gonna kill you-.”

“It’s dark and he has shit aim, nobody’s gonna kill me.”

“Then he’s gonna kill us!”

Dad looks at her as she continues to shake.

“You trust me?”

She gives him a small nod and he pats her shoulder before he gets up. We share a look and I know he can see the worry in my eyes. He trails around the car and slowly begins to tread as bullets fly through the air again.

It’s quiet for a couple minutes before we hear one more gunshot, and Ellie starts to freak out a little. I pull her in close, burying her head in my neck to keep her quiet.

“I gotcha. Promise. Nothin’s gonna happen. He’s gonna be fine.”

It’s faint but I hear someone that sounds like dad yell, but it becomes clearer.

“Run!”

Lights head our direction and take off fast, running from the oncoming vehicles, bullets flying through the air. One of the drivers is shot and the truck crashes into a building, catching everything on fire. Harry grabs Ellie as we run towards a stray car to take cover.

It’s quiet, minus the sound of guns clicking, when a feminine voice pops up from the other side of the cars.

“Dead end, Henry. Gonna step on out? Save us some time?…No? That’s alright.. Doesn’t matter.”

Henry looks at Sam before hesitantly shouting to the woman, who I assume to be Kathleen.

“I’ll come out! Just let the kids go!”

“No. Sorry.. The girl is with the man who killed Bryan, And Sam..Well-Sam’s with you.”

Henry gets frustrated and Harry and I share a look, trying to plot an escape as Henry buys us some time.

“You don’t understand!”

“But I do. I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think maybe he was supposed to die?”

“He’s just a fucking kid, Kathleen!”

She’s quiet for a minute before she responds again.

“Well, kids die Henry. They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth.. everything?..Well this is what happens when you fuck with fate.”

Henry turns to Harry and I, a stern expression on his face.

“Get ready to take them and run.”

Harry shakes his head quickly, and he opens his mouth to argue, but Henry gives him another look.

“H. Please, don’t argue with me. Do it.”

Harry sighs and takes Sam’s hand while Ellie grabs mine.

“It’s time, Henry. Enough!”

Henry takes a couple deep breaths before he stands up, his hands up and his back now to us as he walks to Kathleen.

“It ends the way it ends.”

I hear a gun click but before it can be fired, the destruction from the fire begins to escalate as the truck starts to fall into what very well may be a sinkhole. It’s quiet for a minute but then the screeching sound of infected echos the area. They come running out in a stampede, so Harry and I quickly grab the kids and make a run for it, Henry running after us.

Ellie falls to the ground and begins to army crawl to a nearby car. Henry and Sam are surrounded by clickers, shouting as I hear Sam cry. Ellie looks at Harry and I and before I can pull her back, she starts to run towards them, clickers getting shot down left and right as she runs.

I sigh and Harry and I make a run after her, quickly catching up. I quickly stab the surrounding clickers before we pull Sam and Henry out from under the car before we all make a run for it. We continue to run before we’re stopped by Kathleen, who points a gun at us.

“Stop!”

Before she can say anything else, she’s tackled by a clicker and she is quickly ripped to shreds and she screams.

“Don’t look, let’s go, c’mon.”

We starting running again and we meet up with dad, running to an abandoned warehouse.

We eat what we have, and dad tries to catch his breath. Ellie and Sam sit on a bed, looking at the book from Sam’s bag. Harry gazes over at his brother in worry.

“You think they’ll be okay?”

I give him a small nod as I look at the kids.

“It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway.”

I frown at dad and he’s quiet for a minute before he looks towards the rest of us.

“You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part..”

We’re all quiet for a minute before Harry responds, giving me a small smile.

“Well, I guess that means we’re doing a good job, then.”

Dads quiet and looks at the kids, nodding to them.

“What’s that comic book say, ‘Endure and survive’?

Henry only nods.

“Shits pretty redundant..”

Dad let’s out a small laugh and I chuckle.

“Yeah.. It’s not great..”

It’s quiet for a minute until dad speaks up, and he surprises me.

“Look. I don’t know how I’m gettin’ to Wyoming-I’m probably walkin’.. But..you know if ya’ll want to.”

Harry and Henry nod, and Harry subtly laces his fingers through mine.

“Yeah. I think it’d be nice for Sam to have a friend. And Harry seems pretty taken with Y/N..”

Dad furrows his brows and his eyes land on our conjoined hand.

“You get your-“

“Daddy, stop. I ain’t havin’ this conversation with you. Deal with it and shut the fuck up.”

He growls and looks away, and Harry just squeezes my hand.

“I’ll tell him in the morning. New day, new start.”

Dad nods. We send the kids off to bed and head there ourselves. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m woken up by a blinding light and what feels like someone nudging my leg. I open my eyes, allowing myself to adjust to the light for a moment before looking at my attacker.

“You know.. as your daughter, I feel like you could’ve woken me up a lot nicer.”

Dad shakes his head with a chuckles and walks away. Harry walks over to me and holds a hand out to me with a smile. I take it with a small thank you, and it only takes me a second to gain my footing. I open my mouth to say something but before I can, I hear a scream. Ellie.

We all rush into the room to see Sam attacking Ellie, and by the looks of it, he was infected. Before Dad or I can try to help her, Henry shoots at the ground, preventing us from helping. Harry looks at him in shock.

“Henry! Stop! You can’t-!”

Ellie continues to scream and finally, Henry shoots Sam, who falls off of Ellie and onto the floor. Sam remains unmoving, blood pouring out onto the hardwood floors. Dad looks at Ellie, his eyes full of worry as he starts to approach her.

“Ellie, you okay?”

Before she can respond, Henry points his gun right at dad.

“Henry-.”

Dad tries to calm him down but nothing he says is getting through to him.

“What.. W-What did I do?..Sam…”

Dad walks closer to him, trying to take the gun from him.

“Henry, give me the gun-.”

Henry shakes his head, and shaking my raises the gun to his head. Harry’s eyes widen and he begins to shout.

“Henry- no!”

BANG

Ellie lets out a scream as Henry falls to the ground, and Harry falls to his knees as tears begin to fall down his cheeks. I quietly move over to Ellie, laying on hand on her shoulder.

“I need you to stay with Harry, ‘kay? Dad and I will take care of them..”

“But-.”

I give her a sad look and she nods. She crawls over to where Harry is on the floor and hesitantly hugs him. Dad and I exchange silent glances and we nod at one another before getting to work.

We bury them together, and I have to hold back the tears as I fill the hole. Ellie flattens it and leaves Sam’s writing board on top, a look of sadness on her face. I give Harry a hug and he lets out a shaky sigh.

Ellie stands up and looks at dad.

“Which way is west?”

Dad looks around before he nudges his head to the west.

Ellie looks at Harry and I hear him let out a sniffle.

“What’s next for you then?”

Before he can respond, I answer.

“With us. If he wants to..”

Dad scoffs and shakes his head.

“Y/N!”

“Daddy, stop! He’s comin’ with us if he wants and that’s all I’m gonna hear about it.”

I look at Harry and he gives me a small nod. Dad lets out a sigh and starts walking off, Ellie quickly following him. I look at Harry again and he just shakes his head, walking close to my side as we jog to catch up with dad and Ellie.

“Are you.. gonna be okay?”

He looks up for a minute before he looks back at me.

“Will you stay close to me..?”

I nod, giving him a small smile as I hesitantly hold a hand out to him.

He takes my hand and squeezes it, pulling me to his side.

“Then yeah. ‘M gonna be alright.”

END OF PART 1.

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