don't talk to me i'm thinking about dog statues turned golden by all the hands that pet them

why r the snw uniforms so tit-tastic. a star trek man puts a strange new worlds shirt on and suddenly hes breasting boobily down the enterprise hallway. science please explain

i wish theyd shown kirks big dumb stupid smile that i KNOW he had when spock grabbed him

Reblogging things I like feels a lot more goblinesque than upvoting ever did. The upvotes felt like "hmm yes, I approve *golf claps*" while reblogging feels like furtively staring at something before shoving it in your mouth and scurrying back underneath the nearest piece of furniture.

Which isn't to say that I don't like it. But I definitely find myself going "maybe I shouldn't reblog this because I've already reblogged a bunch of things today and I don't want to look like I don't have a life," I say as I close the app and reopen it like one of those little automatic box toys with the switches.

id rather you have cringy but honest interests than try and act like everything youve ever loved was in an ironic way cause you think that love for simple or useless or silly things is beneath you . pathetic! embrace existence with both hands coward

i have spotify. open. right now on my computer. do you want me to blast you? do you want me to put you on blast cuz i got your history right here in the side bar take it back by jimmy buffet. nautical wheelers by jimmy buffet. jolly mon sing by jimmy buffet. STEAMER by jimmy BUFFET! treat her like a LADY by jimmy BUFFET! mañana by jimmy BUFFET! WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET. HaVaNa Daydreaming by Jimmy Buffet. what the FUCK happened to you? are you HAUNTED? are you FUCKING POSESSED??

YOU USED TO BE MY BROTHER

tfw no gf

if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom

sending out my burger of killing and violence to all my haters. good luck

Deleted Tosche Station scene from A New Hope

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

i love you USPS I love you NASA i love you taxpayer funded services that actually contribute positively to society i love you libraries i love you public transport

I love that phenomenon where ur talking to another neurodivergent person for the first time and u haven’t quite grocked their flavor of brain yet and they haven’t grocked yours and you’re both using your Acceptable Friendly Person Getting To Know You Script on each other but of course those scripts have been calibrated mainly for use with, like, normal people, so you just end up being like two conversational roombas bonking gently off one another like “hello fellow human” “hello fellow ‘hello fellow human’” until you both at some point manage to adjust your programming and actually like, communicate

It’s like when I was a kid I had two furbies and when you put them next to each other they’d just natter nonsensically past one another for a bit and then at some point one would abruptly recognize the other with its furby sensor or w/e and it would shout “DANCE!” and the other one would flap its ears and reply “HEY, DANCE” and then, in perfect unison, they would begin to rock back and forth while chanting “doot doot doo doot doot doo”

It’s exactly like that. I love it. Crazy people are the best, we are super excellent, i love us, i love crazy ppl

you can trust me with your computer while you're out of the room. it's okay. I won't do it again. I won't frantically download fish screen saver again.

Favorite multiple of seven?

I usually think about other stuff.