But maybe that’s what it all comes down to: love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.

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So true!!

You’re going to meet a boy who won’t even think twice about wanting to date you, he will care so much about you that he won’t have to choose who he wants to be with because he will know the only person he wants to be with is with you. He won’t hurt you, he will love you. He won’t make you cry, he will make you laugh. He will know that when you say you only want two scoops of ice cream, you really mean three. He won’t judge you, he will understand. He won’t make you feel like you are worthless, he will make you feel like a princess. He won’t break your heart, he will hold it in his hand as if he was holding the world. He won’t complain when you ask him to watch a romantic movie, he will watch it anyways because he will know how much you enjoy them. He won’t tell you you’re sexy, he will instead tell you you’re beautiful. He won’t be embarrassed when you do something silly in public, because he will be the one next to you being silly with you. He won’t be ashamed of you when you tell him your flaws and mistakes, he will hold you and love you anyways. He won’t make you feel like an object, he will treat you with respect. He won’t get angry when you wake him up with a text at 3am because you are on the verge of breaking down. He will feel special because you trusted him enough to let him see you in your most vulnerable state. He won’t have to ask you if you are upset, He will know instantly by the look you have on your face. He won’t let you go, he will hold you so tight and thank God every night that he put you into his life. I promise you this, when you meet that boy, you will realize why it didn’t work out with someone else.

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I hope one day you will realize I did truly care for you. I promise you’re going to miss me being there, putting up with you, refusing to give up on you. You’re going to regret everything you’ve done to me, including all the damage you caused. And some day you’ll turn back, and I won’t be waiting for you any longer. I might have been worthless to you, but you’ll miss me when I’ve become priceless to another.

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Leaving me was okay. People leave me all the time, I’m used to it. What hurts like hell is when you made me feel so damn special yesterday, and then make me feel so unwanted today.

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I miss you, but not in the way that I need you or that I won’t be able to go on without you. There are so many attachments when telling someone that you miss them. There are so many different meaning to that phrase, or to that confession. So many different ways to how a person can perceive those words. I want to tell you that I miss you but I don’t want it to seem as if I am hopeless without you. Sometimes I wander off to places that remind me of you. I can see you standing beside me admiring the scenery in which we lost ourselves in. I can see us creating memories with the wind, with the sunset, with the feel of day turning into night. Don’t think that I am not myself without you, or that I need you here at every moment to remember that it’s going to be okay. Just know that I miss you, and if I could I would take your voice over the silence any day.

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For years I thought I was wrong,

just ‘Follow the rules’ no matter how long. Simply an endless game of ping-pong. Lines on pages kept me confined. I was told to color within the lines. Over and over, a thousand times. Following reason, and advice’s word, The voice in my head was never heard. ...

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The little things

The little things we hold onto, to keep them close to our hearts. To show them how much they mean to us. Things like this get easily overlooked and most times thrown away shortly afterward. However, little things like this mean the world to me and I find it hard to get rid of them. The post-it notes I have had almost a year and the napkin I have had for 7 months.

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I’ll never forget the way you looked at me that made me feel so special. All the words you said to me that melted my heart, the way you put me before everything else. But also, I’ll never forget the way you tore me apart, the way you left me like it didn’t matter. I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that you destroyed me or the fact that I thought you never would.

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2015 here i come!!

           “I keep telling myself maybe you were too young, like meeting at 20 years old wasn’t old enough for you to keep me around. I guess you had a lot of living left to do like new people to meet, other people to ‘love’ and new places to see. But as the days turn into months and months will eventually turn into years, do you go looking for me in others, do you do things that we used to do, just so i cross your mind on purpose? When you are 25 and realize that maybe you made a bad decision, will you look me up on some social media site and realize I look different, will you look at my smile and realize I don’t smile the way I used to smile when we were in love, will you notice little changes that only you and I would notice? Do you ever think of your future and hope somehow someday we will meet again, the same way we met that first time when you were 20 and never felt love like this before… I know for sure that days turned into months and even when they turn into years my love for you will never die, until I do. But even when I’m six feet under your voice will still remain in my ears and your touch is all my skin will feel and your face is all my eyes will see, but at least I won’t be able to feel the aching pain in my heart every time I hear your name or when someone asks me about my first true love.”

To the one who loves her next,

"She likes to spend time alone. She won’t reply for hours and sometimes you won’t see her for a week. You will take this personally. Don’t. She’s simply taking care of herself and she’ll tell you how much she missed you while she was away.

You'll get jealous and overthink things. Don't. Calm down and relax. Remember, she loves you. Reassure her that you love her too.

On that topic, she needs constant reassurance. Tell her you love her and mean it. If you can’t do that, leave. She deserves more than that.

She'll go out with friends. She’ll call you to bring her home. When you do, she’ll try to keep you up all night by tickling you and repeating “I love you and I’m sorry I’m annoying.” She’s not annoying. But make sure she has plenty of water and don’t let her pass out until she drinks it, or she will be miserable in the morning.

She is the most independent woman I know. But she’s so insecure, it still breaks my heart. So when she starts an argument with “why do you love me, I'm crazy?" Do not get upset. Remind her you do love her and the reasons why. She’ll come around.

Make her tea and remember the way she takes her coffee. She will notice.

When she’s having an anxiety attack, wrap her up in your arms and rub her back. Tell her she’s safe and remind her that you are always there if she needs you. If you cannot treat her like royalty, let someone else. That girl deserves the world.

Losing her is a pain you will never shake. Your world will come crashing down on you and those pieces won’t ever fit the way they used to. Don’t let her go. Love her with everything you have. Cause that's what she deserves. I am begging you to not hurt her. She is golden. Don’t let that shine die out.

She means the world to me, and thus she should to you as well. Treat her like a queen, cause that is what she is, a queen."

True Heartache!!

No one has ever been so keenly aware of their hearts’ ability to produce physical pain than someone who’s experienced true heartache!

Only someone who’s experienced true heartache and knows the pain that runs through the body, up to the head, where traces of it leak out through the eyes, bubbling over, pouring out the nose and running back into their mouths, forcing them to taste their sorrow all over again.

Real heartbreak like this, the kind that makes you feel like the air has been sucked out of you and the only position your body can muster is a ball on the floor, changes you.

Like a broken bone, it heals over time, but the scars of it never fade. We’re reminded of this pain every time we look down, every time we think of the traitors who let us bleed out on the ground in front of them. Our wounds may heal, but we will never forget.

But just because you can’t forget doesn’t mean you can’t move on. While it feels feel like it just about killed you, it’s as Friedrich Nietzsche, then Kanye West, famously quoted, “That which does not kill us only makes us stronger.” And this isn’t some old adage to make you feel better, it’s the truth.

When the heart breaks that way, shatters into a million pieces, then reforms slowly, over time, it’s coming back stronger. You may be bedridden for months, think about it for years, but one day, you will feel better and your heart will be better for it.

Only those who have experienced deep, emotional pain can evolve into stronger, more stable people.

Because it takes real, true heartbreak to teach us. Only those who have experienced the pain of it can write about it, sing about it and understand it. It opens up an entire portal we never understood before. It creates empathy for others who will go on to feel that same pain.

It shows us another side, admits us to another group, the group of the broken-hearted. Only after, do we understand what all those songs are about.

Only after experiencing real heartache do we understand what all those sad scenes in movies finally mean. Only after the pain of loss can we understand the pain of others.

While you should never wish this on yourself, you also shouldn’t bow to it. Because like any difficult trauma in life, there are lessons to be learned. Being through all this heartache might just be the best thing that can ever happen to you because it teaches you more than most people learn in a lifetime.

People might not always tell you how they feel, but they’ll always show you.

You can’t rely on words. Words can be as empty as the people who hold them. A brutal life lesson includes the realization that people lie. People deceive. People cheat. Just because people say they love you, it doesn’t mean they actually mean it.

It’s only through actions that we can gauge the true motives and feelings of others. Learning to judge others on how they act, rather than what they say, will save you years of misinterpretation and living like you’re in a continual game of Pictionary.

Sometimes, fate makes the best decisions for us.

You may have loved that person, but that doesn’t mean you were meant to be with him or her. While no one wishes to be betrayed and lied to, sometimes it’s a necessary course of action in a relationship that wouldn’t end any other way.

It was fate that everything happened the way it did, and it teaches you that things happen for a reason; in the end, there’s really nothing you can do. Everything happens for a reason and because you couldn’t see the kind of people they were, fate showed you instead.

The first person you need to love in your life is yourself.

Once you’ve experienced the pain someone can inflict on you and the loss that comes with wrapping your love in someone else before your own, you understand the necessity of loving yourself before anyone else. There’s no way you can get over the pain of losing someone you love — or thought you loved — unless you have yourself to go back to.

We need our own love more than anyone else’s and this pain brutally teaches us that, at the end of the day, the most important relationship we should have is the one we have with ourselves.

Always be prepared for the worst — and never get too comfortable.

While you shouldn’t keep yourself guarded from experiencing the joys of a new relationship, you should always hold the reminder that people do have the power to hurt you. Love is, many times, a game. Playing smartly and making sure you’re not going in completely vulnerable is important. It’s as important to maintain your own feelings as it is to share them with someone.

You can (and will) get over pain.

That initial breakdown, the first days, weeks and months, make it seem like this pain has the power to kill you. You feel like any moment your heart will just stop all together and your tears will drown you and your sobs will choke you.

You feel like your life will never be the same again, that you will carry this pain with you forever. But slowly, over time, you begin to heal and with that healing comes the understanding that nothing is forever, not even your pain.

Trust is something that people must earn.

We grew up believing that people are inherently good until we’re forced to see the bad. It’s not until people have done us wrong that we understand not everyone is to be trusted. Trust is something the unscathed give away freely, but only those who have felt the pain of betrayal know that trust is something that must be earned.

We’re fragile; letting someone into our small, breakable worlds shouldn’t come with a free entrance.

Love Hurts!!!!

It's been one of those days!!! Where all you do is think and think, but when you try to distract yourself and think of something different your mind brings you right back!! It talks to your heart and makes it hurt!! It lets you know how much you miss and love someone, even when you try to let go!! It makes you cry, even though you have cried so many nights and have no more strength left and your sick of it!! It makes you want to get to the point of hating them so much but can't, because you care so much more!! It asks; why? What happened? Where did we go wrong? Why can't we talk and try and work things out after everything we have been through? Why would you say and do what you did to just walk away the way you did? What changed? I just wish and pray that this all goes away and I'm able to forget!! I don't want to hurt no more, I'm tired and exhausted!! I'm tired of trying so hard to at least be friends and getting nothing in return!! I'm tired of being the best man I can be and being there for everyone, yet everyone walks out on me!!