acupofmatt:

The latter, Dani. I’ve never seen an actual penis in real life, so I just based it off all the unsolicited nudes I’ve received from trash men and from my porn critiques. 

Next time ACup is slow and we have time to fuck around? 

The last penis I saw in real life, I was in high school, so I mean they totally could’ve changed since then. I don’t envy the unsolicited dick pics at all. Random people keep trying to add me on Snapchat and I decline because I feel like the moment I accept, there’s about to be a penis on my screen.

You know I’m totally down.

itsstaceyevans:

It’s true! They are. Nah, it’s just in my favourite’s playlist and also in my go to karaoke playlist.

Good choice. What else do you have on there? I feel like you’d be a rad party DJ.

I changed this long-running habit today and now I feel like a whole new person. My phone is usually kept on silent, but I keep setting it down places and forgetting where it is, then when someone tries to call me so that I can figure out where it is, it’s on silent so it doesn’t work. Let’s pretend like I’m nowhere near my laptop to do Find My iPhones when this happens. Anyway, so I’m now fully sound activated, and iPhone has some freaking wild little sounds. I’ve already changed the text tone like ten times, I feel like Apple has given me way too much power here.

accuplynn:

It was my first weekend to myself in a month and how did I spend my Saturday? One might ask… Running around the city doing my boss a “favor”. I’m working on no. I promise. I’ve almost got it down. Now pizza, pajamas and p-Netflix for the rest of the day. Sunday is mine to conquer with my best impression of a relaxed 20-something.

Dude, first off, it took me a good couple minutes to realize the ‘p-Netflix’ thing was to keep in with the ‘P’ theme. I totally thought it was some cool new Netflix extension that I hadn’t heard of because I’m not as cool as I like to think I am. (Still a total badass, though!) Second, what was the “favor”? The quotations totally make it intriguing.

TEXT 📲 DANCER

SPENCER: Call me dramatic but if we don’t stop this losing streak, I’m going to start selling tickets to the ‘Spencer Physically Beats Her Own Ass’ Show.

SPENCER: My poor soccer loving heart cannot handle these loses anymore.

DANI: I mean, you're totally dramatic. But I also totally get it. You're a soccer star, though! Like, the best there is, so let that comfort you, hm??

northbynorthweston:

New bucket list item, and sub item:

1) Get famous.

1a)Get invited to the Met Gala cuz I’m famous.

Happy Met Gala day, y’all.

Dude, same. All of the Twitter pics of the celebs getting dressed up and ready to go has me so ready to land my future record deal right now.

TEXTS 📲 DANIELLIE

ELLIE: Well of course it’s gonna be awkward. You’re my now ex girlfriends roommate.

ELLIE: But you’re also my band mate and best friend so if we gotta just not talk about it? I’m fine with that.

ELLIE: I have. Things are getting busier on set and shit so I just look super dedicated to the craft lmao.

DANI: You hit the nail right on the head with all of that. I mean, I'm totally fine with not talking about it, but I also want you to know that although I obviously adore my roommate, I also adore you, so if you want to talk about it, just know that you can. Okay?

DANI: Pfft, you are dedicated! You're a badass actress and all of this time on set is just making you better and better. Not that I've seen your current project, but I totally know it anyway.

TWEET TWEET

@itsjemmabitch: rhony

@itsjemmabitch: real housewives of new york

@inkbydani: @itsjemmabitch ugh, I knew it, I'm an old lady.

itsstaceyevans:

It’s on my Spotify playlist. Wasn’t going to skip a banger like that. They have so much passion

Oldies are always goodies. Was it your Discover Weekly? Because mine always throws out some freaking bops.

nicoladerocha:

I respect your opinion so highly, Dani.  It would be an honor if you were to make sure there isn’t a pleat out of place. 

How was one of my favorite barista’s weekend?

Then it’d be messed up of me not to do it, right? I’m totally happy to help.

Me? I’m one of your favorites? Score! It was pretty chill, though. I wasn’t feeling so great so I just stayed home and worked on a few new designs, snuggled with my pup, etc etc. How was my favorite new cheerleader’s?

acupofmatt:

It’s therapeutic doing it, tbh. I recommend. 

Or you and me in the supply closet, that’s therapeutic too–so I heard…

Wait, are you recommending I sneeze into people’s drinks? Or draw foam penises? Because I’m totally not trying to do the first, and I don’t know that I’ve seen enough penises in real life to make it look realistic enough.

Forward. I like it. When are we making this happen?

nicoladerocha:

I’d like to formally apologize to The Showers and any die hard Shower’s fans for the added distraction on the field starting this Sunday.  

(Hint: the added distraction is me in a cheerleading uniform)

As a huge fan, I’m going to speak on behalf of everybody and say that we totally do not mind this addition at all. And if you need someone to give you an opinion on how said cheerleading uniform looks, I know a total badass with two thumbs, a ton of ink and an awesome eye for these things who is happy to help.

TWEET TWEET

@jemmabobemma: WHO NEEDS RHONY WHEN WE GOT THIS SHIT AMIRITE *eats popcorn*

@inkbydani: @jemmabobemma Rhony? Am I just not down with the kiddos, or??

itsstaceyevans:

Man, En Vogue didn’t have to go so hard in Don’t Let Go. But they did, and I feel it, every time.

I’m so here for a throwback. What made you listen to that gem?

acupofmatt:

If you’re ever a dick to me and you’re taking a to-go order, just know I’m making a foam art dick unbeknownst to you. It’s the caffeine version of “suck my dick, asshole.” 

Dude, that’s so much more terrifying than the cliche sneezing into their drink. I’m totally going to start doing the same thing.

Disclaimer that I do not sneeze into anybody’s drinks!

TEXTS 📲 DANIELLIE

ELLIE: It would be more awkward if you didn’t.

ELLIE: I’m okay though. I think.

DANI: I mean, it's been kind of awkward, lbr.

DANI: Good. Have you been keeping yourself busy?

TEXTS 📲 DANIELLIE

DANI: Is it super awkward for me to check in still?