sometimes i think i wasn't made for the digital age, but then i have quests for knowledge

that i just would not have been able to pursue at any other point in history

don’t invite me unless these are the plans

as far as i'm concerned all gore is necessary

reblog to reblog from the person you reblogged from

any vampire worth their salt will say shit like “i could go for…………. a bite.” then chuckle to themselves like it’s the fucking funniest most original thing that’s ever been said. and they will use this same line no less than fifty times in the span of a century

scylla Mouth perfec t size for put sailor in to s\ail! inside very Soft and Comfort sailor sail safely put sailor in Scylla Mouth. Put Sailor In Scylla Mouth. no problems ever in scyylla mouth because good Shape and Support for sailor ship weak of big ship mast. Ascylla Mouth yes a place for a sailor put sailor in scylla mouth can trust scylla for giveing good love to sailor. friend scylla

not only is my new thesaurus terrible, but it’s also terrible

i don’t mean to be political, but what if everyone had basic human rights

Talking with someone about something serious and typing "Olay" instead of "Olay".

I think what’s wrong with a lot of people is theyr not eating breakfast. They’re starting the day with at most 16ounces of milk with espresso and riding on that until lunch time. What they don’t understand is eating breakfast helps absorb all the excess yellow bile that builds up overnight when they sleep and makes them angry. It’s basic humor balancing

I hope your vibrator runs out of battery halfway through and that the charger is on the other side of the room. And also that you die

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

my favorite personal dragon headcanon is that like birds they also can't see glass, but it just isn't an issue for them

They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven’t had your “third” death. You decide to find out why.

in the google doc. straight up "writing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. Nothing