crotchapple
Apple to the Crotch
Just call me Crotch, Applin, or AC. 28, enby, any pronouns. A funny little guy (genderless) (actually pretty big) with some hard kinks. Nazi Punks Fuck Off. Getting hornier on main so minors DNI.
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AOC is at the Columbia encampment. The students need to wise up fast and kick her ass out.
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i love this image not only because of the fact that they thought of it as an idea for a promo photo, decided it was a good idea, and subsequently took it, but also because the angle the photo is taken from means you can see the gilly box
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you should be able to upgrade your genitals using gems you find while plundering enemy ships. and in this world we're cool space pirates btw.
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“Chimera Falin is meant to be horrifying not sexy” I’m pretty confident Ryoko Kui wanted her to be both
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the sigh of relief i let out after clicking on the last block of spoiler text
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this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby
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yeah you're "punk" but are you normal about deformed people?
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I love blog urls on here that are just like… facecream, oliveoil…. warmcroissant….
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i love to make fun of notorious white woman Taylor Swift and all of her embarrassing attempts to appear deeper than a plate of soup.
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actually it's so funny how people were 'poor little meow-meow'-ing buddy and he was so quick to accept rage. universal truth #1 is always that evangelicals are full of hate
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My unemployed mommy dom texting me at work: grrr mommy needs kitten rn 😈
Me, on my fifth smoke break in an hour: I need you to actually kill me during sex this time please
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margaret thatcher mug. especially strange as this was found in austin, tx.
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Quiet Quitting is when you're not doing anything wrong but the vibes are off
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The year is 2030.
At the Cincinnati stop of her "world tour", Taylor Swift ends her set. As she walks off the stage, she leans into a nearby mic and says "oh by the way, I'm lesbian".
She's still milking a public relationship with a man named Chett Whitesman, so this is met with a combination of cheers and confusion. Immediately, the media mobilizes. They have to intercept her before she gets onto her private jet, and ambush her for an interview. Luckily, this has become much easier these days. Since the release of her 2027 album, "The Carbon Emissions of my Heart", T Swizzle has performed a ritual sacrifice of an endangered species on live camera every time she boards her jet, a #girlboss way of saying that her emotional pain can only be healed by the tortured screams of drowning polar bears.
(Since this practice started, a devoted faction of Swifties have started a carbon negative algae farming commune, with the express intent of negating taytay sweezie's contributions to climate change. Apparently "her tortured soul deserves to pollute without guilt". They haven't even come close to their goals.)
Taytor Twift is intercepted after this ritual, as she's walking up the steps of her plane. When asked what the lesbian statement was about, she nonchalantly says "oh, I thought it was clear that was a joke. Anyways, G T G!" , before biting into the still beating heart of an emperor penguin.
During her flight, discourse on the newly renamed twitter-X-ElonIsExtremelyVirile Corp goes nuclear like it never has been before.
There's a camp of swifties thoroughly convinced that her relationship with Chett is all a beard so that she can still keep touring in the New Christian Republic of Florida, and the interview at the plane was deepfaked.
A different camp of Swifties feels insulted and betrayed that she would be anything less than a paragon of allyship. To them, this is the worst slight the queer community has ever experienced.
A third camp of Swifties insists that she *is* dating Chett, and is also a lesbian. They get insulted that anyone would police Taylor's labels. Comparisons to the Boulder, Colorado shooter are made.
A group of non Swifties tries to point out that everyone is fucking insane and that 'ole taytay regularly tear gases pride rallies to make way for her promenade to stadium venues, and who the fuck cares about this shit and point out that what a billionaire celebrity does for five minutes of PR is not worth your attention or discourse, nor does it warrant harassing other people for the labels *they* use, and isn't it really fucked up that Taylor is making a joke of how people describe their identities? They are promptly doxxed, harassed, and banned.
Bi lesbian discourse is off the charts. Nothing Taylor said has anything to do with it, but it happens anyways.
A lone transsexual who actually goes outside once in a while tweets "hey guys isn't it kinda fucked up that 2.4 billion people have been displaced by mega storms this year that her jet contributes to and is also specifically designed to fly over" and is promptly doxxed and harassed off the platform.
After an exhausting 9 minute plane ride, Tailing Swiffer lands in Columbus for the next performance of her world tour. She unveils a new single that contains the line "ride my horse after dumping him, stepping up onto my SAD dle".
All is forgotten. All is quiet. The Swifties continue as usual, moving on to the next discourse about these lyrics.
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