Yeah okay you know what fuck you *uncrackers your island*

Reference:

"the passenger" (robert d hawkins; timber; c. 2000s)

source

I feel cheated there's no art of sexy Viking bearded Telesphore

Here, take this:

my giurlfriend grabs my Thang with one of those dinosaur grabbers so hard it draws blood and i let out a single, violent, angelic note that summons a flock of doves to our windowsill

i made a uquiz to find out what kind of gf you are

my favourite look

... I play Baldurs Gate for the plot.

A news report from Australia's government broadcaster in the 70s, found in their archives simply labeled 'lesbians'

Captions added by for your reading pleasure

without girl tummy we would be nothing. without girl tummy we would be sooo fucked.

Day 286 of quarantine I have discovered www.webstaurantstore.com

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

I’m so sorry for the normal person I’ll be after quarantine because the cabin-fever version of me I’m inhabiting right now is perhaps just uninhibited enough to follow through on this dream I’ve just discovered of out-ricing myself.

for my research paper we have to write the common name and then the binomial nomenclature and I learned the western gorilla’s is just “Gorilla gorilla”

Patisserie Crow from Sunshine Days

Ths bishop’s twitter post