affirmations for crossing the road:

- i know what i'm doing

- the road will always be clear when i want to cross it

- nobody will ever beep their horn at me because i'm special

- drivers will recognise my divine right of passage and stop for me

A KNIGHT’S TALE 2001, dir. Brian Helgeland

i dont think you people understand the hypnotizing power of brown sugar 

professors who have only interacted with other academics for years: “what do you MEAN you don’t know multi-variable calculus yet??”

professors with small kids: “thank you for not putting the lab equipment in your mouths when I turn my back”

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

"how can you like this objectively bad thing!" because i have bad taste. move on.

i hope that the discussion about student protests does not get reduced to "privileged rich kids faffing around at an ivy league school." setting aside that tenuous claim, over the last week, protests have erupted over the entire country. a few days ago, riot police beat, pepper-sprayed, and arrested NYU faculty shielding students; protests started at the university of southern california when the admin cancelled the valedictorian's speech; encampments appeared at the university of southern carolina, UT dallas, the university of maryland, the university of new mexico, IUPUI, virginia tech, the university of virginia, the university of illinois, the university of north carolina — chapel hill, the university of pittsburgh, uc berkeley, the university of michigan — ann arbor, MIT, emerson, tufts, the university of rochester, rice, swarthmore, the new school, vanderbilt university, with students arrested; students protested or walked out at miami university, northwestern, temple, the 5 claremont colleges: pomona, pitzer, scripps, harvey mudd, and claremont mckenna, stanford, washington university in st louis, students were arrested at ohio state, students were confronted by riot police at cal poly humboldt, after which they occupied campus, students were arrested at the university of minnesota — twin cities, after which faculty walked out; and yes, there are protests at the other ivies, most notably yale, with students facing mass arests after encampments, but there is also an encampment at brown, protests appeared at cornell, princeton faculty issued a statement of solidarity while students are preparing an encampment, and harvard banned the undergraduate palestine solidarity committee. there are thousands of students who are protesting for palestine across the entire country, facing harassment, arrest, and suspension in return

thinking heinous and villainous thoughts

I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

Our queen

society is actually wrong. u can like poem and talk about it to ur friends

petition to bring back saying "huzzah!" when something goes your way and "alas." when it doesn't

i still think about "aye moira am oan the protein" way too often

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

Nurse giving me report on a patient: and by the way so you’re not caught off guard, he has a tattoo that says “confident fag” on his chest

Me, a confident dyke: haha nice

The nurse: what?

Me: sorry I’m also gay and think that tattoo rules

The nurse: ????????

Me:

Me remembering I don’t hear so good: what did you say the tattoo was?

The nurse: a confederate flag

Me: OH NO WAIT OOPS