girls it is your new mission to become boys. boys it is your new mission to become girls. everyone else stand in the middle and try to stop them

My apartment building has coin-op laundry in the basement, and on the shelf where people store detergent there are also just enough quarters to start one load in the washer. This is the collective "oh shit I forgot my quarters" bank that anyone can borrow from to start laundry without having to climb all the way back up the goddamn stairs first. These quarters have been steadily used and replaced for multiple years now, and every time I see them I think about how upon such small foundations rests all of human society.

Reblog if you didn’t write My Immortal

We’re going to find the author by process of elimination.

You’re meeting the friend of a friend for the first time, who’s apparently an empath. When they shake your hand, they immediately rip their hand away from you.

when people who want to be vaguely progressive say 'nature' all secular style but it's painfully obvious they mean 'god' while thinking they don't mean god

The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

A pike jumped out of the water likely chasing prey and got stuck in a branch and died. Now, a bird has made a nest in its mouth. One of the most interesting things I’ve seen.

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

Listen to me, if you ever need a detailed step by step list: What you are going to want to do is to find a science writer. Not a technical writer, a science writer.

Preferably one procrastinating on a deadline.

If you ask one of us, I guarantee that we will happily spend the next hour or two researching and then writing down, in heartbreakingly clear prose, *precisely* what you need to do.

the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that

sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad

My boyfriend is trying to explain cricket to me again. “He’s only got two balls to make 48 runs”, he says. The camera focuses on a man. Underneath him it says LEFT ARM FAST MEDIUM. A ball flies into the stands and presumably fractures someone’s skull. “There’s a free six”, my boyfriend says. 348 SIXES says the screen. A child in the audience waves a sign referencing Weet-Bix

Laurence, meeting Temeraire:

it is a beast, to be sure, and to be its captain shall be a hard burden... although one i will shoulder for love of my country, even as it shall consign me to misery

Laurence, meeting Granby:

what a miserable fellow of poor temperament, holding unfair grudges. he dislikes me quite intensely and the feeling is mutual.

Laurence, meeting Tharkay:

a rather unsavoury fellow who seems quite inclined to leave us for dead in the desert who seems to enjoy mocking me. i must be mindful that he does not double-cross us.

----

(anyway, my point is that someone isn't very good at recognising lifelong-companions-to-be)

we've been living in this apartment for two months now, and while we've observed most of our new neighbours (my slavic Windowsill Watcher Grandmother gene already activated), I don't think they had the chance to see us often enough to recognise us yet.

I do know, however, from my observations, that the tiny funny dog upstairs is called Gucio. I've passed him once or twice during his walk and heard his owners use the name - and, while both the dog and his owners are oblivious to our existence, Gucio became an apt topic of discussion in our house. you know, we hear barking, ha, that's Gucio, he must be home alone again! or there's a stick left by the building door, that must have been brought by Gucio and he was forced to abandon it before entering! a household name, really.

yesterday as I was leaving to go to the store, walking down the narrow staircase, there he is! tiny funny looking dog, slightly startled by me suddenly appearing on the floor he just reached on his tiny funny looking legs.

"good morning Gucio!" I say joyfully, the most natural thing in the world.

well. remember that Gucio doesn't really know me. so he looks at me in the most flabbergasted way a dog can look at a person. he is positively aghast. agog! not sure how aware dogs are of their own names but he seemed genuinely puzzled at the apparent stretch of social convention.

and as I try to contain my laughter, I see his owner standing on the stairs below. the woman is sort of awkwardly frozen, speechless, and she looks at me.

"you... know each other?" she asks.

is that not the funniest way to phrase it. is this not the funniest question she could have asked. ma'am do you know my dog? you went to school together perhaps? you've met? do tell, are you old friends? maybe you worked together? you know each other, my dog and you? this dog? you know him? he knows you? he never mentioned you I'm afraid

At some point in your life, you were taught that being slightly annoying is an unforgivable sin. Maybe it was by your parents or a teacher or a friend or a bully or an older sibling. But someone taught you that being slightly annoying is a crime punishable by death.

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

If you ever want to truly love your fellow humans, if you ever want to truly love yourself, you must have forgiveness for being annoying.