This resonates so much with how I feel these days, since I am going away for a while to Amsterdam, a place which excites me incredibly, but at the same time I really liked how things were in the last couple of months in Vienna.

I keep reminding myself that I will come back. However, nothing will stay the same, surely I also won't, and I actually don't want to try so hard to keep things how they are and I just want to keep the good memories in mind and let life surprise me because it's a feeling I forgot recently.

“It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (via books-n-quotes)

“ I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and i thought people would see it because ‘romantic’ doesn’t mean 'sugary’. It’s dark and tormented – the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism you cannot attain. ” Catherine Breillat

“Things don’t have purposes, as if the universe were a machine, where every part has a useful function. What’s the function of a galaxy? I don’t know if our life has a purpose and I don’t see that it matters. What does matter is that we’re a part. Like a thread in a cloth or a grass-blade in a field. It is and we are. What we do is like wind blowing on the grass. […] We’re in the world, not against it. […] The world is, no matter how we think it ought to be. You have to be with it. You have to let it be.”

— Ursula Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven (via exhaled-spirals)

My interpretation of the album cover of the swedish prog band Trettioåriga Kriget (Thirty years' war in swedish). It is still work in progress... loved its design, the typography and of course loved their music.

When I saw a photo of Anekdoten, where Peter Nordins -the drummer- wears a t-shirt of this album cover, I wanted to have one so bad.

It is impossible to find and buy one of this t-shirts, so why not print it myself?

Anekdoten, founded in Sweden 1991

Spontaneous burst of anxiety.

The evidence of how moody I am.

I painted the first one just an hour before the second one.

They were both unplanned.

Surda aklima gelenleri unutmadan bi kenara attiriveriyim istedim, 2 cümleyi 1 saattir bir araya getiricem diye beynim sikildi. Kafamin icindeki durumu bana daha da net göstermis oldu bu.

Uzun zamandir bi girdabin icindeyim. Inisler, sozde cikislar ve daha derin dalislar yaptigim upuzun bi dönem. Aslinda milyonlarca sey yasadim bu arada, cok fazla seyle yuzlestim, cok korktugum cok düstügüm oldu. Ama tam da az önce bir dürtüyle blog arsivime göz atmamla icime korkunc bi sikinti cöktü.  Bu dönemi oldugu gibi inisiyle cikisiyla bana kattiklariyla kabul etmeye coktan hazirdim. Ama Arsive bakarken sanki arada 3-4 sene atlamisim gibi hissettim. 2016/17 den sonrasi kocaman bir bosluk. Neler yaptim, neler hissettim, neler düsündüm, ne heyecanlar yasadim... Günlüklerim durmuyo mu, duruyo. Bu güne kadar yazmaya devam da ettim, ama eskiden cok daha sik okurdum günlüklerimi, fotograflara bakar, blogta paylastiklarimi gözden gecirirdim. Kendi timeline´imda nerde oldugumu az bucuk bilirdim. Sanki istedigim yerde degilsem, istedigim seyi yapiyo degilsem bunu cok da gec olmadan farkederdim. Ama son 3 sene gercekten kayip gibi geliyor bana. Sadece yerimde durup her seyi izlemisim gibi.

-daha geceye cok olmasina ragmen.-

Tüm albüm dinlenmeli.