a man self immolated in front of the israeli embassy in washington dc yesterday. not just any man. an active member of the us air force. he live streamed his death, and said that he refused to be complicit in a genocide any longer. he said that compared to what palestinians were facing every day, setting himself alight was nothing.

let me reiterate. an active duty air force member burned himself alive because he was so disgusted by what the us government was openly supporting. he live-streamed his own suicide, so the whole world could bear witness as a man in his military uniform set himself on fire to protest his government’s complicity in the horrors that we have all been forced to watch happen in real time. he became a new horror. footage of the immolation blurs him out the moment the fire catches, but you can hear him. it is over in seconds, really, but you can hear him screaming. he shouts “free palestine” until his body physically cannot make any sounds other than guttural screams of agony. and then he falls silent. a police officer arrives and points a gun at his still burning body, shouting at him to get down on the ground. and it is over.

his name was Aaron Bushnell. he was twenty five years old. and he isn’t here anymore because the political ruling class has decided that genocide is perfectly fine as long as it preserves imperialism. in the coming days, people will try to discredit him. to say that he was mentally unstable. they will try to bury his actions to save face and defend israel’s propaganda. do not let them. aaron knew what he was doing. he knew what he was doing when he put on his military uniform, set up his twitch stream, and made his final walk up to the embassy. he knew what would happen to him when he flicked that lighter. do not let them forget. aaron’s blood is on the hands of the political ruling class.

“It’s not just other people we need to forgive. We also need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done.”

— Mitch Albom

Sebelum di renovasi, alangkah baiknya…

Bear with me

The Amartya and unfinished journal

dari Anita~

“My darling, you hold so much sadness in your eyes, I can almost touch the scars of your soul and cry.”

Someone wake me up from the dream. Nobody told me that losing a friend is painful. If I had known, I would prepare thoroughly. All that left is grieve. Rest, my dear friend.

Surat ini untukmu, someone somewhere

The past is

The past is in the past. It does exist in your memory. As if you have different kind of rooms connected to these memories. You have the key all along. You can choose to keep the door locked like forever, or you can open it anytime. 

Okay, today’s poem is not inspiring or uplifting but this was on my mind lately.

I think we can learn a little from children and how they can be crying at one moment and then be laughing just a few minutes later, with tears still in their eyes.

As we grow older, we get used to hiding our emotions, even from ourselves. And it’s so easy to think that numbness is the same as strength when they’re actually pretty different. And maybe sometimes the greatest act of courage one can make is just accepting a moment of sadness and actually feeling it?

I don’t know… Maybe I’ll write another poem about this later.

That’s all for today. Thank you for reading.

Yes, sounds right

Namanya Mahaindah (nama asli). Salah satu teman saat saya bersekolah di Sengkang, Sulawesi Selatan. It’s been 19 years (?), saya bahkan tidak pamit saat harus kembali ke Jawa. Kabarnya pun sampai sekarang tidak pernah terdengar. I really wish that you’re okay, living your life peacefully, surrounded by people who love you. May you have that smile all the time, and happiness never leave your side.