Weird how you can feel sad, wistful, and wistful for the sort of sadness you used to feel, all at the same time.

I feel like in a way “serial killers are geniuses” is just part of police propaganda because it sounds way better than “we are fucking lazy and a lot of serial killers know that and target people who we don’t care about because of racism and classism”. 

When he gets in the tub, sometimes he purrs so loud that the shampoo bottles fall over.

I remember a more innocent time, when two bros would chill in a hot tub, six feet apart, not because of a global pandemic, but merely because they were not gay.

𝖋𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖎

Puffer fish feels very wronged. 🐡: (spit bubbles)

I can’t post thinly-veiled cries for help on Facebook because people might ACTUALLY try to help me and I don’t really want that, so here we are.

via weheartit

“Not all men” I say, “there is but one who is purely good.” But which man am I referring to? In Iceland, deep in the woods and the snow, there lives a lad raised by wolves who feasts upon sunbeams and loves all of nature, unburdened by man’s sins. Tenderly, he strokes a hungry squirrel, sharing with her the last acorns of the autumn harvest. A tear rolls down his cheek. Who is he

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????