That old man actually has no effect on me any more

Early days Cardinal

Tip jar

in my redux of my self-insert lore i actually do know terzo before he dies and we're really not all that close (like. acquaintances at best. especially after i start going out with copia things are more distant since they have a strained relationship and all that) but i do dog-sit for him semi-regularly because for whatever reason his very spoiled hellhound (that looks like a 3-headed borzoi) like really got attached to me and i'm one of the few people she'll tolerate that's not him so i end up watching her

What’s that ship dynamic where there’s two people who are so gut-wrenchingly complicated that only they can truly understand each other. Like the world could mischaracterize them and/or misperceive their intentions to hell & back but at the end of the day they know themselves & only they can understand each other. Sure, they won’t always get along as a result of their unique dispositions, but they will always return back to each other. They will never feel alone so long as the other simply lives & breathes

Imagine your romantic!f/o always having their hand on your thigh when you’re in the car together. You look at them, smiling at each other and they give you a little squeeze.

I’m in love with this gif. The way the cat is tucked in and kneads the air. How they immediately reaches for the teddy bear. How it’s lodged into the cat lovingly. The way the cat holds it. The face. The face the cat makes squished up against the toy. The way the cat grips it. The cat looking back on the audience at the end. I could stare at this gif for an hour straight and still be enraptured by it. Fucking Cozy.gif

“You were made to be mine” 🤝 “I was made to be yours”

do you ever experience the love for your fictional other like pain? you yearn and struggle because of the impossibility to actually hold them in your arms, to kiss them, to see them, to be in their presence and getting to listen to their voice, to melt within their touch. you struggle because you miss someone who doesn't even exist, but the pain is all too real.

or am I the only one?

thinking about early relationship copiablair where like we're kind of sneaking around for a while. not because we'd like. get in trouble or anything, but just it's A Whole Thing and i think we just wanted some time to feel it out together before worrying about the perception of other people. i think after the catacombs incident we're kind of right away more comfortable around each other, because that romantic tension is finally broken and up until that point there was some hesitation from both of us on pushing things too far (on my side because i worried that i read things wrong and that he didn't actually like me back and so pushing him too far would make him uncomfortable, and on his side he didn't want to push me into anything before i'm ready and make me feel like he was taking advantage of me/scare me off), but after that tension is broken we able to not feel as worried around each other. so for a good little bit there it's a lot of stolen kisses in his office and long nights into early mornings spent in each other's quarters, and then having to awkwardly explain the next day why we're exhausted or wearing the same clothes from the day before

finally finished my ghost self-insert ref sheet after like. a year of working on it on and off,,,lots of outfits in no particular order + some accessories

from left to right starting on the top row: underwear, the outfit the were wearing when they first met copia, "default" prequelle era (so what they're shown in most often), "day off"/casual wear, "default" impera era, formal/date night, wedding dress, impera era habit (+ skull paint alt), prequelle era habit, catacombs outfit (what they were wearing when them and copia got lost and when they finally confessed their feelings for each other), sleepwear, and some accessories you might see them with

[okay to reblog! my self-insert blair uses they/it. it is not a girl do not misgender it]

there's something soooo special about lounging around in your underwear + your f/o's shirt 10/10 would recommend

i think there's only 3 more main outfits i need to do before i think i can consider my ref sheet finished aaaa

one of my fav thoughts is like. seeing an f/o that usually is all done up like...without all that. dressed down, no makeup, messy hair..something so wonderful and intimate about it even if its small...like a side of them only u can see and know...their natural look they dont feel like they need to be at their best for u to love them and see them.. & its all for u..wtf..

pr*ship c*mship etc dni

goofing around with another outfit for my self-insert that's more like formal Clergy attire but still in keeping with my stylistic flairs. with a (very rough) skull paint alt for funsies

i have the most popular review for metal myths: ghost part 2 on letterboxd ehe

i think part of why i'm like. So Scared to post like more of my like deeper lore stuff and like finish and post more fics is that like. my relationship with copia and my canon is just deeply deeply personal and has been my main coping mechanism for like. over a year now and so i feel like putting it out there is just too much because if anyone said anything negative it'd be like they were insulting me and i'm just. not built for that

a while ago i was watching a harold lloyd movie and one of the intertitles used the word shucks and i was like 'man we need to bring back shucks how come nobody says that anymore' and then it dawned on me that copia canonically says that