cookingfastandfreshwithwest
tricky dicky
just some fun humor haha :)))
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https://www.instagram.com/danrue/
the way he snatched that shit off her head.
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Dancing Queen playing from another room
ABBA
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Here’s my unofficial soundtrack for Wii Croquet
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vine
titanic survivor orders a salad
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The Most Comprehensive NSFW Ask Around
I’ve seen a lot of these floating around, but none of them seem to get check every box. I’ve attempted to create my own Ask list and try to include as many things as I could think of. Simply pick a category and a number to ask that question. For example, message “masturbation 3 and 5.” On that note, enjoy 500 NSFW asks.
About You
What is the size of your penis/breasts?
Does your penis have a curve?
Are you circumsized?
Have you ever had an STD?
Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?
What type of underwear are you wearing?
What is your favorite type of underwear?
When was your last erection/arousal?
Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?
Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself?
Explain your ultimate fantasy.
What are your turn-ons?
What are your turn-offs?
What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been turned on by?
Have you sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr (Anonymously or Not)?
Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone?
Did it include sexual acts?
Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?
Did it include sexual acts?
Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude?
Did it include sexual acts?
If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?
What was your latest sex dream about?
Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone?
Was it about anyone other than your lover?
What was the last fantasy about?
Have you ever fantasized about someone older/younger than you? How much older/younger?
Have you ever told any of these people that you fantasize about them?
Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about?
How often do you fantasize about other people?
Have you ever showered with someone?
Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone?
Are you open about your sex-life and sexuality?
Do you orgasm easily?
Have you ever played “7 minutes in heaven”? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played “spin the bottle”? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played “Truth or dare”? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played strip poker/strip beer pong/etc?
Do you shave your pubic hair?
Have you ever had your pubic hair shaved?
Do you prefer clean shaven or unkept?
What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex?
Do you own any lingerie?
How much lingerie do you own?
Whats your favorite lingerie outfit?
Do you like the way your genitals look?
Are you comfortable naked?
Masturbation
Do you masturbate?
How old were you when you first masturbated?
How often do you masturbate?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you masturbate to any stimulus?
What do you think about?
What is the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?
Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating?
Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating?
Have you ever had cyber sex?
Have you ever had phone sex?
Have you ever had a wet dream?
What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)
Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?
Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?
Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?
Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)
Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?
Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?
Have you ever masturbated to someone?
Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?
Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?
Whats your most embarrassing masturbation story?
Whats your funniest masturbation story?
Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?
Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?
Whats the easiest way for you to get off?
Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)
Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?
Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they?
Have you ever masturbated to a fictional character?
Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)
What is the strangest object you’ve used to masturbate vaginally or anally?
Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?
Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?
Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)
What position do you typically masturbate in?
Describe a typical masturbation session.
How often do you usually last?
Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?
What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had?
What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day?
Relationships
Are you straight/bi/gay/etc?
How many relationships have you been in?
What has been your longest relationship?
How old were you when you had your first relationship?
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
Have you ever used an online dating site?
What do you look for in a partner?
What do you look for in a hookup?
Have you ever had a one-night-stand?
Have you ever been a booty call?
Have you ever had a booty call?
Who was it?
Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits?
Who was it?
Have you ever cheated on a partner? Explain.
Have you ever been cheated on? Explain.
Would you ever be in an open relationship? Have you?
Porn & Sex Industry
Do you watch porn?
How often do you watch porn?
What is your favorite category?
When is the last time you watched porn and what was it?
How do you feel about hentai (Anime Porn)?
How do you feel about gang-bang porn?
How do you feel about cumshot porn?
How do you feel about lesbian porn?
How do you feel about amateur porn?
How do you feel about cuckold/cuckqueen/swinging porn?
How do you feel about threesome porn?
How do you feel about teen porn?
How do you feel about Japanese/Asian porn?
How do you feel about mature porn?
How do you feel about ebony porn?
How do you feel about bondage porn?
How do you feel about masturbation/solo porn?
How do you feel about rough/violent/humiliating porn?
How do you feel about BBW porn?
How do you feel about orgy/party porn?
How do you feel about trans/shemale porn?
How do you feel about POV porn?
How do you feel about blowjob porn?
How do you feel about bukkake?
How do you feel about extreme porn?
Have you ever tried to recreate a scene?
Have you ever used porn to show a partner what you like/want?
Has a partner ever used porn to show you what they like/want?
Who is your favorite pornstar(s)?
Have you considered getting into porn?
Have you considered being a webcam performer?
Have you watched cam girls?
Do you have a favorite cam girl?
Have you ever watched porn with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever watched a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever performed in a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Do you frequent strip clubs?
Do you have a favorite strip club?
Do you have a favorite stripper/dancer?
Do you get lap dances or just watch the performances?
Whats your best strip club experience?
Most embarrassing strip club experience?
Funniest strip club experience?
Have you ever orgasmed from a lap dance? Describe the experience(s).
Sex
Are you a virgin?
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
If you haven’t, when would you like to?
Explain your first time in detail.
How many sexual partners have you had?
Who was your best sex partner?
Did you tell someone after you lost your virginity? Who?
Do you give oral sex?
Have you received oral sex?
Do you prefer to give or receive oral sex?
Have you had anal sex? How was your first experience?
Do you have any friends you would hookup with?
Have you wanted to have sex with someone, but couldn’t? Why couldn’t you?
Do you like dirty talking?
Do you like being called names?
Do you like being called obscene names? (Bitch/Slut/Whore/Sissy/etc)
Are you loud or quiet in bed?
Whats your favorite position?
Have you ever invented a position?
Whats the strangest position you’ve tried?
Have you ever been caught or walked in on while fucking?
When is the last time you had sex? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you received oral? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you gave oral? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you had anal sex? Describe the experience(s).
Which celebrities would you want to have sex with?
Any fictional characters you want to hookup with?
Have you ever had shower sex? How was it?
What is your favorite position(s)?
Where is the strangest or wildest place you’ve had sex/oral?
Have you ever broken up with someone because they couldn’t satisfy you?
Have you used anything to improve sexual performance? (Penis Extenders/Tingling Lube/Cock Rings)
Whats your most embarrassing sexual experience?
Whats your funniest sex experience?
Have you ever had any performance issues? What were they?
Are you on birth control?
Do you use condoms?
Have you ever faked an orgasm? Describe the experience(s).
Can other people get you off?
Is there only one way you can cum? (i.e. Clitoral Stimulation Only/Anal Only/Toy/Specific Position)
Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever rejected someone?
Have you ever been stopped mid-sex? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex outdoors? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in public? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in front of others? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a car? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever given or received road head? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex/oral/manual sex in a movie theater? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a fitting room? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a plane? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex at work? Describe the experience(s).
Explain your best sex experience in detail.
Which non-genital parts of your body do you like being touched or stimulated?
Do you ever take pictures or videos when you have sex? Explain the experience(s).
Have you ever given a strip tease to a partner?
Have you ever given a lap dance to a partner?
Have you ever received a strip tease from a partner?
Have you ever received a lap dance from a partner?
Have you ever “titty-fucked” before?
Has someone ever “titty-fucked” your breasts?
Do you prefer your partner to be vocal/moan loudly?
Do you enjoy having your nipples played with?
Do you ever role-play?
What situations or themes have you role-played?
What would you like to role-play?
Do you role play with costumes?
Do prefer lingerie in the bedroom?
Do you enjoy rough sex?
What would you like to improve about your sex life?
Have you ever gone into public with hickeys? Did you know they were there?
Have you ever had a threesome? Describe the experience.
Would you like to have a threesome?
Who would you like to have a threesome with?
Would your partner be okay with a threesome?
Would you like to be with two men at the same time?
Would you like to be with to girls at the same time?
Would you like to be with more than two girls at the same time?
Would you like to be with more than two guys at the same time?
Have you ever been double penetrated? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had every hole filled or been involved with filling each hole? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever tried ’69’? Explain the experience.
Do you like cum or is it gross?
Have you ever tasted cum? Do you like it?
Where is your favorite place to cum or receive cum?
Have you ever had sex while on a period/with someone on a period?
Do you listen to music while you have sex? What kind?
Have you ever used a buttplug while having sex?
Have you used any form of sex furniture? What kind?
Have you ever brought toys into the bedroom with a partner? What kind? Describe the experience(s).
Do you eat ass?
Do you like to have your ass eaten?
Have you ever anally fingered your partner?
Do you like prostate play?
Is it gay for a man to enjoy anal stimulation from a woman?
Have you ever experienced a prostate orgasm?
Have you ever double penetrated/been double penetrated with the assistance of a toy?
Have you ever experimented with the same sex? Describe the experience(s).
Do you prefer sex with a man or with a woman?
Have you ever had sex with another couple(s) monogamously? (Not touching the other couple(s))
Have you ever watched another couple have sex?
Have you ever gotten cum in your eye?
Has anyone ever cum inside you on accident? How did you feel about that?
Have you ever cum inside someone on accident? How did they respond?
Have you ever cum in your pants? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever sexted?
Do you like to play with balls/have your balls played with?
Are hand jobs boring or are they underrated?
Describe your average orgasm.
Describe your average cumshot.
Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?
Whats the quickest you’ve ever brought someone else to orgasm?
How long are you usually able to last?
What’s the most times you’ve had sex (or sexual contact with a partner) in a day?
Whats your longest sex session?
Toys
Have you ever bought a sex toy?
What is the last sex toy you bought?
What sex toy do you currently want?
Would you let someone buy you a sex toy?
How many toys do you own?
What kind of toys do you own?
What is your favorite toy?
Have you ever used a washer/dryer as a sex toy?
Have you ever used a shower head as a sex toy?
Have you ever used a pocket pussy or Fleshlight?
Have you ever improvised a sex toy? (Cucumber/Banana/Etc.)
What is the strangest sex toy you’ve ever used?
What is the strangest improvised sex toy you’ve ever used?
Do you prefer sex toys or the real thing?
Do you own any buttplugs?
Do you ever wear a buttplug in public?
Do you have any vibrating panties?
Do you ever wear vibrating panties in public?
Do you like nipple clamps?
Fetishes
What fetishes do you have?
What is your favorite fetish?
Have you indulged in all your fetishes?
What fetishes are you yet to experience?
Are there any fetishes you don’t have yet, but may be interested in?
Have you experienced BDSM? Do you practice it?
Are you a top/dominant a bottom/submissive or a switch?
What is it about BDSM that you like?
Have you experienced being tied up or restrained? Describe the experience.
Have you experienced rope play? Describe the experience.
Do you enjoy long, extended teasing/edging sessions?
What is the longest you’ve been teased/edged?
Do you enjoy tease and denial?
Do you like to be denied?
Do you have a panty fetish?
Have you ever purchased panties from a woman online?
Have you ever used panties to masturbate? (Stuffing/Wrapping/Etc.)
Do you have a hosiery fetish?
Do you like pain?
Do you like spanking/being spanked?
What do you prefer to use to spank? (Paddles/Hands/Whips/Etc)
Do you like to hit or be hit? How hard?
Do you enjoy choking or being choked? How hard?
Do you like to bite or be bit?
Do you like to slap or be slapped?
Do you like pulling or having your hair pulled?
What is your safe-word?
Have you ever done a cum-walk? (Walking in public with cum on your face/clothes/etc)
Would you do a cum-walk?
Are you an exhibitionist?
What was your best exhibitionism experience?
Are you a cuckold?
Are you a cuckqueen?
Are you a hotwife?
Are you a bull?
Would you like to watch your partner have sex with another person?
Would you like to have your partner watch you with another person?
Have you ever been cuckolded? Describe the experience
Explain your best cuckold experience
What is it about cuckolding that you like?
Do you like to be humiliated?
Do you like to humiliate your partner?
Do you like to be humiliated while cuckolding or do you prefer a friendly environment.
Do you like to be forced into crossdressing?
Do you like to be forced into feminization?
Do you like to be forced into sissification?
Have you ever fisted? Explain the experience.
Do you like extreme insertion? Have you ever experienced it?
Are you a swinger?
Do you soft-swap or hard-swap?
Have you ever been to a swingers club (with a partner)?
Would you ever go to a swingers club (with a partner)?
Explain your best swinging experience.
Would you ever participate in an orgy? (4 or more people)
Would you ever participate in a gang bang? (4 or more people)
Have you ever pegged/been pegged? Describe the experience.
Do you peg often?
What is it about pegging that you like?
Describe your best pegging experience.
Do you enjoy large strap on dildos or smaller?
Do you enjoy sucking or having your strap on sucked?
Do you like incest?
Have you ever experienced incest?
Do you like face-sitting/smothering?
Do you have experience in face-sitting/smothering?
Do you like weapon play?
Do you like forced cum eating?
Do you like rape play?
Have you experienced rape play?
Do you like to be dominated?
Have you ever been dominated online?
Whats the most humiliating thing you’ve been forced to do?
Do you enjoy pet-play?
Do you like daddy dom/little play? Describe the experience(s).
Do you like to be worshiped?
Do you like to worship?
Do you like to be spit on or spit on your partner?
Do you like to keep the slave play in the bedroom or carry it over to real life?
Have you ever been suspended while having sex?
Do you like ball-busting/CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)?
Do you like to be told what to do?
Do you enjoy giving/receiving JOIs? (Jerk Off Instructions)
Describe your best JOI experience.
Have you ever given or received a foot job?
Would you ever swap cum with your partner?
Have you ever tried fetching? (Sucking cum from a partners anus or vagina after finishing)
Do you like watersports?
Do you like sounding?
Would you participate in a bukkake?
Do you enjoy brat play?
Have you ever participated in chastity?
What is the longest you’ve been locked up or forced a partner to be locked up?
Have you ever cum while in chastity?
Have you ever experienced a full friction/lap dance?
Have you ever cum or made someone cum from a full friction lap dance/grinding?
Do you enjoy outercourse/hotdogging/pussyjobs?
Do you enjoy cumming or watching someone cum over strange objects?
What is the strangest way anyone has made you cum?
What is the strangest way you’ve made anyone cum?
Do you enjoy forced cum eating?
Do you enjoy premature ejactulation?
Have you ever experienced a ruined orgasm? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had your prostate milked or milked a prostate?
This or That
Vaginal or Anal
Vaginal or Oral
Oral or Anal
Handjob or Oral
Handjob or Anal
Handjon or Vaginal
What feels better, masturbation or sex
Rough Sex or Intimate Sex
Car Sex or Outdoor Sex
Dominant or Submissive
Spit or Swallow
Facial or Cum on Tits
Facial or Cum in Mouth
Facial or Cum on Ass
Facial or Cum on Belly
Cum on Tits or Cum in Mouth
Cum on tits or Cum on Ass
Cum on Tits or Cum on Belly
Facial or Creampie
Facial or Anal Creampie
Vaginal Creampie or Anal Creampie
Circumcised or Uncircumcised
Boxers or Briefs
Tits or Ass
Ruined or Complete Orgasm
Vaginal or Clitoral Orgasm
Prostate Orgasm or Regular
Cuckolding or Swinging
Pegging or Grinding
Lap Dance or Strip Tease
Grinding Orgasm or Titty-Fucking Orgasm
Be Humiliated or Worshiped
Footjob or Hotdogging
Lace Panties or Cotton Panties
Latex or Leather
Silicone Dildo or Glass Dildo
Dildo or Vibrator
Hitachi or Sybian
Real Cock or Sex Toy Cock
Real Pussy or Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy
Cam Sites or Porn Sites
Strip Clubs or Porn
Dirty Talk or Loud Moaning
Faked Orgasm or Premature Ejaculation
Cum on Clothes or Cum in Hair
Lingerie or Naked
CFNM or Naked
Corset or Bustier
Thongs or Cheekies
Porn or Sex
JOI or Lap Dance
Fishnets or Nylons
Big Dick or Small Dick
9" Dick or 4.5"Dick
Length or Girth
Big Tits or Small Tits
Petite or Chunky
Muscular or Average
Beard or Shaven
Pubic Hair or None
Thigh Gap or Thick Thighs
Twerking or Slow Tease
Prostate Orgasm or Frenulum Orgasm
Anal, Clitoral or G-Spot Orgasm
Big Ass or Tight, Toned Ass
Skinny or big
Nerdy or Preppy
Cheerleader or Nurse
Firefighter or Cop
Sex on the Beach or Sex on a Plane
Sex in Public or Sex in a Car
Vibrating Panties or Butt Plug
Ball Licking or Rimming
Nipple Stimulation or Neck Stimulation
Hair Pulling or Spanking
Choking or Slapping
Big Dildo or Small Dildo
Realistic Dildo or Smooth Dildo
On Top or On Bottom
Long Hair or Short Hair
Giving Head or Receiving Head
Getting Anal or Giving Anal
Pussy and Anal Penetration or Ass and Mouth Penetration
Two Girls or Two Guys
Bukakke or Glory Hole
Reverse Gang Bang or Male Gang Bang
Doggy Style or Missionary
Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl
Cuckold or Be Cuckolded
Cum On Someone or Be Cummed On
Drunk Sex or High Sex
Slow or Fast
Veiny Dick or Curved Dick
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ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general
- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade
- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower
- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny
- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass
- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf
- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet
- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe
- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing
- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run
- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft
- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life
- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection
- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!
- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man
- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while
- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein
- do ur fucking homework and do it on time
- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer
- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair
- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!
- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do
- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)
- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!
- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down
- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!
- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying
- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!
- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI
- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat
- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver
- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it
- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly
- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy
- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)
ill probs add onto this when i think of more!
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a comprehensive collection of weird-ass wikipedia articles to read when you're bored
fair warning: while some of these articles are just silly or weird, i do like to freak myself out, so a fair amount of these are creepy and/or morbid! some of the links involve death and occasionally suicide, so consider this your blanket warning for potentially upsetting/tiggering stuff! also when you’re white-knuckled gripping the bedframe at four am because you’re too freaked out to go get a glass of water and you think there’s an axe-murderer in your closet, don’t go a-blamin’ me. you clicked the link.
list of unusual deaths
post-mortem photography
nocebo
list of people who disappeared mysteriously
vrillon
ancient astronauts
list of nuclear/radiation accidents
lord uxbridge’s leg
suspicious incidents at disney parks
demon core
milgram experiment
list of film accidents
collyer brothers
new chronology & phantom time
cosmic latte
list of sexually active popes
spontaneous human combustion
list of methods of torture
cellar door
voynich manuscript
tarrare
list of inventors killed by their own invention
zone of alienation
randy gardner
list of entertainers who died during a performance
dancing mania
vodka eyeballing
tacoma narrows bridge
troy huturbise
list of alleged extraterrestrial beings
lucid dreaming
son of sam law
mary toft
list of banned video games
elizabeth bathory
marvin heemeyer
list of serial killers
quantum suicide
mcdonald’s urban legends
cockle bread
list of reportedly haunted locations
ball lightning
mellified man
armin meiwes
mobius syndrome
moon landing conspiracy theories
the case of taman shud
the euthanasia coaster
capgras delusion
raining animals
voluntary human extinction movement
trepanning
s. a. andrée’s arctic balloon expedition of 1897
list of reported ufo sightings
astral projection
maximum lifespan
oscar the cat
mill ends park
criticality accident
words that mean opposite things
list of video games notable for negative reception
parapsychology
uncombable hair syndrome
gloria ramirez
that that is is that that is not is not is that it it is
spite house
john titor
list of unsolved murders & deaths
sleep paralysis
list of common misconceptions
ames room
list of impostors
korean air lines flight 007: alternate theories
list of political decoys
psuedoscientific planets
list of conspiracy theories
sawney bean
loudness war
body farm
list of messiah claimants
lazarus syndrome
betty & barney hill abduction
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vine
living with anxiety is basically this vine on an infinite loop
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youtube
glenn howerton’s greatest hits
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what the gang would post about if they had snapchats
dennis: morning selfies of “i woke up like this”, his morning care routine and what type of mascara he’s using for the day, videos of him driving to work and trying to be motivational but a driver cuts him off in the middle of his speech and he just ends up screaming, videos of him apologizing for getting aggressive in his last videos but ends up screaming again when someone doesn’t use their blinker, pictures of random women he sees on the street with captions like “4/10 could use more makeup” “7/10 big (•)(•)”, more inspirational turned road rage videos, flower crown selfies followed by another selfie with the caption “no filter needed”, videos of him singing along to old 80’s hits, videos of him hitting high notes, occasional pictures of mac, occasional pictures of weird zoomed in close ups of dee with the caption “bitch”, accidental uploads of videos of himself inspecting his face, videos where he rants about whatever it is that’s bothering him for the day
dee: aesthetic pictures of her morning tea (not pictured: the empty beer cans covering her floor from last night), selfies with the flower crown filter, selfies with the dog filter, “#ootd” mirror selfies that also show off the beer cans littering her floor which she ends up deleting, new manicured nails, picture of her and her new car every other week, videos of skits with her characters, occasional pictures of her and artemis hanging out, pictures of her flicking mac off, shoes! shoes! shoes!, pictures of her latest mall purchases with the caption “treat yo self”, drunk videos of herself ranting about her not being a bird, drunk videos of herself singing and dancing to josh groban
mac: daily workout routine videos that really only consist of him slashing through the air, pictures of shirtless male bodybuilders with captions like “#motivation” “#inspired”, videos of him waking dennis up with a cheerful “good morning, dennis” and ending with a pillow hitting his phone, pictures of jesus, shitty picture of the sky with a bible quote, more videos of him kicking and slashing at the air, selfies with charlie where they’re both smiling at the camera with dee screaming in the background, occasional pictures of poppins with captions like “look who i found” or “look who’s alive”, long stories where he watches an action movie and he pauses it to comment on how he would have shot the scenes differently (dennis can be heard in the back of each video complaining), selfies with dennis on their monthly dinner, mirror selfies at the gym with more bible quotes, videos where he zooms in on random birds and shouts “HI DEE!”, blurry pictures of dennis laughing
charlie: he actually has no idea what snapchat is or how it works but the gang downloads it for him anyway so he figures he might as well use it, he believes everyone in the world can see his snapchat (when it’s really just the gang) so he occasionally makes videos of him promoting products like “kit and mittons 2.0”, selfies with all the stray cats in his alley, blurry pictures of the gang with captions like “cat <3”, the occasional dead rat post, videos of him playing a new song on his keyboard, random pictures with even more bizarre captions
frank: he really has no idea how to use snapchat or sees the point in it so he’s only used it once and it was to upload a picture of his botched toe, has more friends than the rest of the gang
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sometimes even i start wondering if maybe we overanalyze the sunny characters and if they’re not as intentionally complex or consistent as we think
and then i remember dennis’s entire b-plot in ‘the gang broke dee’ and the fact that his actions and feelings make literally zero sense if you haven’t been paying attention to his character development over the past nine seasons
like imagine sitting down to watch a random episode of a show which you know nothing about beyond the basic premise and there’s this guy trying to keep his sister from being successful and leaving him, first by discouraging her dreams and trying to marry her off, and then later getting desperate enough to plead at her feet for her not to leave philadelphia without him because he loves her?????? there is no explicit laugh-out-loud joke in this subplot if you don’t know who dennis is. there’s no setup at the beginning of the episode where someone says “dennis normally doesn’t care about anyone haha wouldn’t it be funny if he were on his knees begging a person to stay in his life showing real emotion for the first time hahaha??” like no that shit is all subtextual and you’ve gotta be paying attention for it to make a lick of sense why they “broke” dennis instead
like idk or the way rob mcelhenney describes the gang as “overachievers” or the fact that glenn howerton thinks that “when they say they don’t care if each other lives or dies, they’re not thinking about actually consequences, they would be really upset” this isn’t the kind of stuff that gets mentioned in AV club reviews of it’s always sunny in philadelphia but the writers/creators/actors are nonetheless paying pretty careful attention to it without anyone really knowing that they are
it ain’t all about the humor to them so why should it be to us
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