coldcarlisles
You’re Asking Me About The Weather?
Taylor | 24 | Main blog: Nerdofthesea
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I was thinking about it today and realized just how dangerous and actually dumb it is for the Cullens to be attending school, especially Jasper. It's canon that menstruation doesn't hold sway over their bloodlust, and I suppose it could be argued that a popped zit would also not trigger their thirst (since it's infected maybe it smells sour or something?) but what about nose bleeds? They can happen at random to anyone. What if some kid gets punched by a bully and splits their lip? What then?
I think this all goes back to SM just . . . not caring about this like, at all. I’m sure she’d come up with some excuse (”Alice would see it before it happens and pull her siblings out of school that day” or “nosebleeds don’t bother vampires because boogers or something”) but the reality is she just . . . didn’t really care about this sort of world building or consistency. It wasn’t the point. The romance was the point. They’re in high school so Edward can meet Bella and the rest of the kids are also in school because, idk, families stick together?
I know some people are like “omg the Cullens don’t care about humans at all if they are risking this” and I mean I understand why someone might interpret it that way, but this all just seems like an AUTHOR choice to me, you know? She just REALLY wanted them to be in high school, and so they are. And that’s . . . about it, really. They’re not getting anything out of it. They all hate it. I don’t think it actually helps their cover story at all (publicly dating your foster siblings will DRAW ATTENTION!) and it would make about 4000% more sense for them to just stay at the house and not go to school and let Carlisle be a young doctor with a young wife with occasional ‘relatives’ who visit and are sometimes seen in town. That would be so much less weird than the high school thing. I mean Emmett is 20!! and 6′5″! He’s not going to ‘blend in’ in a high school. This just screams “author choice” to me.
It doesn’t feel like a choice that immortal 17, 18, 19 and 20-year-olds would actually make and her justification of it is flimsy at best.
The best justification I can come up with is that it’s a means to practice self-control, like exposure therapy, and at this point Jasper is practiced enough that there’s no real danger--Alice will foresee anything bad enough to set him, or anyone else, off. He’s braced and prepared and the main reason he’s even in school is to ~resist, so it’s not as dangerous as it first appears. He lost it at the birthday party over a papercut because he wasn’t braced and prepared, he was at home relaxing, not in “school” mode.
I don’t totally buy most of that but that’s the best mental gymnastics I can do.
#I feel like there are so many things people in this fandom take so seriously#and I’m like... or Stephenie is just a bad writer and it’s not that deep
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anyone care to explain to me why carlisle grabbing money is sexy af ???
casually grabbing millions 😗✌🏻
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One of Edward sexiest qualities is his respect for women. Each time I think about how gently he treats all the women around him my legs involuntary fly open.
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unfriendly reminder esme canonically has a praise kink
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it bothers me that Carlisle never examined his sperm under a microscope. like he’s thirsty for knowledge and always wanting to know more about vampire biology and psychology but he never thought to take a look and see if the swimmers were still Michael Phelpsing? bruh if you had just stepped the fuck up maybe Edward would have thought to pull out once in a while but no. you didn’t. idiot.
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Twilight peaked right here
I don’t need to watch any more this was the end credits for me I’m done this is good
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Better Names for Renesmee, Ranked:
5. Nessa - it means “miracle” & you get to keep the “Nessie” jokes
4. Carlie - if you must name-mash this is way cuter
3. Elizabeth - you know, after Edward’s mother?
2. Just…. don’t have the baby at all…
1. No seriously don’t.
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jasper is what?????? the only vampire in the history of forever that had more than one singular vampire lover??? and edward doesn’t slut shame him every minute of every goddamn day?????? plot HOLE
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✨Important Twilight™️ News ✨
Hey y’all idk if u heard but Smeyer said something very exciting and totally real today!! She (and it was defo her) has scheduled a WHOLE DAY of fundraising for the Quileute tribes Move to Higher Ground Project on the 13th July 😳 Hoping to help the Tribe reach their goal by the end of the year!!
Rumours stated that
“if you donate over a certain amount, you get a FREE excerpt of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT from smeyer’s GROUNDBREAKING NEW BOOK about how to effectively identify pedophiles & build healthy romantic relationships!!!”
So let’s all get sharing and supporting!!! And let’s help our honoured Authoress meet this goal!!!
You can read more on @fuckmeyer blog here
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I'm just gonna give you a little piece of advice. If you find/deduce something interesting that seems to have more meaning besides the obvious one and wonder if smeyer thought about it. She didn't.
Now you can go back to sleep and have nice little dreams, I love you 💖
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✨IMAGINE✨
You’ve just escaped Esme Cullano licking your face between sharpening the blades of her knives. You run as fast as your legs can carry you as you search for a way out of the dungeon under the pizzeria. Down long, winding corridors you run, praying to find a lead to the outdoors. Finally as you turn a corner, you see a faint light at the top of some steps. You sprint towards it with relief, knowing you are almost free from the Cullano wrath.
You take half a second to catch your breath as you reach the bottom of the steps. Then a noise has your head snapping up in fear. You’re horrified to discover...
your way out...
is blocked...
by...
this...
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Stephanie Meyer writing dialogue for any female character that’s not her self insert
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Heres the real reason why smeyer never gave us a sex scene in BD, idk i just thought id share lmao: everyone knows smeyer wrote twilight for herself but when she got signed by little brown, smeyer had to make some changes for it to be YA. Now when it came to writing BD, at the time it was not allowed for YA to include sex stuff WITH marriage cause i guess it makes it into adult fiction? (however the rule changed after BD’s release) +
Okay bruh this is... wild... I mean ig release the forbidden sex scene Smeyer
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There’s some Cullanos content to be made out of this
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I think we now established that Carlisle and Esme transformation scene in Twilight (2008) is a sex scene
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