hey, can we talk for a second? it’s about your girlfriend. yeah, she’s great. no, yeah, I agree. It’s just that… she seems really devoted to you? Like really devoted. Almost as if you were the sole, fragile line mooring her to the shores of humanity. No, that’s not romant—ugh. Listen. Me and the girls, we’re worried you might be the last good thing to happen to her and that were some tragedy to inevitably befall you, she would tear the gods from their thrones and dye the infinite western seas wine-dark with their ichor. Do you think you could introduce her to a new hobby or something? we don’t want to have to argue over what color “wine-dark” is supposed to be

they're such idiots I love them

zoomers i am going to give you some fathrly advice: really plucked brows are coming back. dont do it. you cn permanently fuck them up and in 5 yrs when its not on trend you will look like shit. a groomed natural brow works in every era of fashion theres lots of ways to comb and style brows to trend without mangling them. im just saying this as someone who saw what happened to 80s moms who went crazy wth the tweezers

The principal difficulty of having a Pokémon pick up your groceries for you isn’t getting it to understand the concept of a grocery list, but getting it to understand the concept of capitalism.

One might assume that Meowth is the exception, given that Meowth is literally the capitalism Pokémon; the trouble here is that, while Meowth does understand capitalism, Meowth also understands shoplifting.

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

Your daily dose of cat memes

people: minimalism is monochrome white everything with NO color or fun pieces.

me, an intellectual: minimalism in art is using the fewest items that have the largest emotional/aesthetic impact. minimalism in interior design should reflect that and not whatever soulless hospital chique every rich lady thinks minimalism is. Minimalism can be fun and colorful and use whimsical patterns its just about using less things to establish an aesthetic/vibe. Anyways look at these good examples of colorful minimalism.

squint for me real quick

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

wow. you’re not even gonna kiss her tummy bro? cringe

renaissance in the 21st century

Weatherman discovers his monitor has a touch screen