Walter White would never pay for Jesse’s top surgery but he would call him a week into recovery and ask for help lifting a 100-pound sack of something highly illegal

a stud in black leather on a black motorcycle just revved their engine at me and thank god I tore my demonic uterus out ages ago because I think that would have finally knocked me up

oh hello delightful forest boar. why are you charging at me so fast

i may not be gods strongest warrior but there is all sorts of bullshit that he makes me deal with and i hndle it not very well usually

one day you'll wake up and think, "life is okay". it'll happen gradually. you'll start to notice flowers blooming in a new light. your evening shower will be a sweet refuge. your morning coffee will warm your soul. things will seem bright and beautiful, and you'll wonder how you ever wanted to leave such lovely things behind

Hey no offense but I used to rule the world chunks would load when I gave the word

having plot relevant sex with my thematically appropriate wife

so many of y’all are too busy trying to define lesbianism as explicitly inclusive of men and making sure we’re nice and palatable to straight people and making people feel secure in the fact that anyone can still like men, even the dykes! that you straight up ignore or erase the very prominent part of lesbophobia that comes from us not liking men, and you talk over and ignore us whenever we talk about how isolating it is to not like men when everyone else around you does because it doesn’t fit your narrative that queer labels and identities are one-size-fits-all and the mere idea of lesbians existing shatters your ideal world where everyone has wiggle room in their sexuality. reinventing the “lesbians aren’t exclusive, there’s a man for everyone! they just need need to find Mr Right” isn’t progressive just because you throw in a couple buzzwords that sound good and give people warm and fuzzies

"you should be at the club" i should be in the woods. performing the ritual.

to you, it’s a shitty sentence. to some random bitch 500 miles away, it’s a fire line that’ll haunt them for the next 17 years.

you don’t know how impactful your writing is because it’s been in your brain for far too long now. you’ve stared at it for hours and repeated “this sucks” over and over again to the point that you killed your capacity to feel anything about your work.

but trust me, once you get your shit out there, someone’s gonna go over that paragraph you hate and go “jesus fucking christ” and put the book down to have an existential crisis.

this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it

still amazes me that by season 45 or whatever, Supernatural was being exclusively watched by delusionally hopeful women with flamingo-salinity tolerance for bad writing and the creators still couldn’t pander to them because maybe there was 1 straight guy out there still accidentally watching it

Now that I'm working in the anthropology department and we're teaching human evolution, I wonder how many anthropologists looking for ancient hominids must have found modern human remains instead. You didn't find a fossil of human evolution... but you did find the remains of a person. Isn't that meaningful, too? And also... they are so similar to us, that it's not unlikely that so many remains that could have been key to understanding human evolution have been misidentified as just humans (which raises the question "weren't they just human" but I digress)

There's an interesting story about Sahelanthropus (a hominid similar to chimpanzees who walked upright about 6 millions ago in modern Chad). When it was discovered, the remains presented wear and tear from wind and sun exposure, which was wierd because they were found buried. It was then the anthropologists noticed it was buried with its head facing towards Mecca, like in proper Muslim burial practice. Muslim nomads must have found the remains of Sahelanthropus, they would have thought it was a person who died in the desert, and decided to give it a proper burial, even if they didn't know its story or who was it life, they thought those bones deserved to rest.

herons would love middle aged man fishing culture i think

do you understand my vision

being an adult and trying to be "responsible with my money" is so hard like literally what corners am I supposed to be cutting on this budget. what am I supposed to stop spending money on. my anxiety meds? food for my cats? impulsive takeout orders? spotify premium? patreon artists who draw huge throbbing monster dicks? all of these are completely necessary to maintain my quality of life.