Tumgik
cillmurphyslover ¡ 19 hours
Text
Trigger-happy | Tommy Shelby x fem!reader
prompt: idek how to summarize this other than gunplay with tommy loool (18+ MDNI !!!)
WARNINGS: gunplay (real sick shit i’m not playing), degradation, unprotected sex (p in v), orgasm denial (eeeehhh)
*not proofread*
Tumblr media
the first thing you notice is the crisp and cold dead grass beneath your knees and calves, then the cool breeze blowing against your bare skin. as you crack your eyes open, you nervously scan your surroundings. it doesn’t take long for you to realize you’re bound in a very large vacant field.
the dress you had been wearing was cut messily, the uneven fabric barely covered the tops of your thighs, and your stockings had been removed too. you couldn’t check, but just judging by how you felt, you assumed you weren’t wearing any underwear either. with your arms and ankles tied, you couldn’t do much to try and cover yourself let alone warm yourself up.
from behind you, you hear footsteps, followed by the sound of a match being lit.
“i assume you’re coherent now.” you hear a familiar voice mutter behind you. that gravely, deep, sexy voice that you know all too well.
as expected, tommy shelby comes up from behind you and steps in front of you, towering over you as you look up at him with confusion. you’d heard of tommy through the grapevine, and you’d occasionally spot him out and about. he was so enticing. like a forbidden fruit, so delicious, so dangerous, you wanted it all.
but being here now and having no choice to submit to him was having your mind and body stirring. you’re partially terrified, and just the slightest bit turned on.
“why am i here?” you finally gather up the courage to speak. tommy leaves you with an uncomfortable silence as he places his cigarette between his lips while he retrieves something from within his pockets. seconds later, he flashes his gun at you.
your body tenses at the bleak shift in energy. was tommy shelby, the man you occasionally fantasized about, moments way from killing you?
“you know …” tommy briefly takes the cigarette out of his mouth while he rummages through his other pockets for bullets. right in front of you, he loads them in one by one. “i’ve heard quite some tales about you, how could a little thing like yourself cause such problems?”
what the fuck is he talking about? for the most part, you just kept to yourself. yes, you may have been involved in some dirty work here and there but come on, who isn’t?
“i don’t know what you mean tom-“ you attempt to start before tommy cuts you off.
“aht- sweetheart, you don’t get the privilege of saying my name. it’s sir.”
“… i don’t know what you mean, sir.” you correct, your tone becoming shaky as the weight of the situation has began to settle in. again, tommy doesn’t respond, leaving you with nothing but your own thoughts. tommy leeches off your nervous energy, it feeds into his superiority complex.
without saying a word, tommy aims the gun directly at your forehead, the icy metal barrel caused your heart to race faster.
“please.” you plead breathlessly, your entire life is playing out in front of your eyes, every single fuck up is looping inside your head.
by some force, an unfamiliar wave of confidence makes it way through you. maybe it’s the adrenaline mixed with some delusion, either way your actions begin to change.
“please.” you repeat, rising up to your knees as best you can with your ankles still bound. tommy keeps the gun in the same place and watches you attentively as you move around in front of him. the barrel of the gun now grazing your nose and lips.
“i’m sure we could …” you hum as you plant a kiss onto the barrel, testing the waters. “work something out, sir.”
through a chuckle, tommy asks “is this your plan? whore yourself out to try and save your life?”
“mmm …” you pretend to think for a moment, your kisses against the gun becoming more deliberate and sloppy. “i’ve always thought you were so handsome, sir. so big and bad.” you bat your lashes at him while teasingly licking the underside of the barrel.
quickly, tommy snags the gun away and shoots off into the field before quickly bringing the gun back down to where he had kept it before.
you can’t help but giggle, this entire situation is so tense— yet suddenly you cannot take it seriously for the life of you.
“wow …” you grin, kitten licking the barrel. “gives you a rush, huh?” you ask tommy. his jaw is clenched and he’s shifting his weight around in a way you’ve never seen him do before. tommy was normally so calculated, have you really thrown him off that much?
“do it.” you whisper, slowly taking the tip of the barrel into your mouth. his jaw goes slack, undoubtedly he’s imagining your lips around his member, licking and teasing him like you’re doing to his gun.
as you slowly blink, your lids becoming heavier as your body starts to get worked up, you take more of the barrel into your mouth. jesus, if any outsiders saw you mimicking fellatio on tommy shelby’s gun, along with tommy allowing you to do it, they’d likely be convinced that hell had frozen over.
tommy swallows, huffing loudly as he finds the right words to say.
“you’re disgusting.” tommy spat. your ego was bruised temporarily, until your eyes drifted down to his bulge, which ultimately revealed tommy’s true opinions on the matter.
“d’you get off on being disgusted, sir? because …” you signal to his cock as best you can without your arms being available, tommy scoffs as if him having an erection during a moment like this meant absolutely nothing.
“come on, just blow off some steam.” you purr as you muzzle the side of your head against the gun, “you’ve got a dirty, vulnerable girl right here in front of you. i couldn’t stop you even if i tried.”
finally, something snaps within tommy. with his free hand, he nudges your shoulder and pushes you down. you fall against the hard ground, and before you even have time to process that tommy is proceeding to flip you over onto your stomach.
then, you feel tommy’s big rough hand grab onto your hip. with ease, he lifts your hips up and forces you into a face-down-ass-up position. you turn your head to the side and whimper at the change, you had much less confidence in a state like this.
“i could blow your fuckin’ brains out …” tommy grumbles as he roughly whips up the bottom half of your very short dress, your back involuntarily arches at the brisk wind hitting your most private, and now sensitive areas. you can tell you’re wet, and tommy can too, cause he can see the wetness glistening off of you. “and all you’re thinking about is getting your holes filled?”
as you mewl back to him, you gasp when you feel the cold barrel make contact with your desperate core. he toys with your slick, watching how quickly your sticky arousal eagerly coats whatever it touches. he pushes the tip of the barrel inside, almost fucking you with his gun.
and as if things couldn’t get worse, his skilled thumb finds its way to your clit. he rubs it and groans when he sees you get wetter around his gun, a bit more of the barrel accidentally sliding inside of you due to your increase in arousal. this is sickening, tommy is getting you off with the weapon he uses to off whoever wrongs him.
tommy takes the gun and his thumb away from you, before you can protest you hear fabric rustling and the sound of a zipper being ripped down. you hold your breath with anticipation, until you feel tommy’s warm tip press against your opening.
“mmh-“ you moan, attempting to rock your hips back against him. you really didn’t need to though, because seconds later tommy shoved his full length inside of you. the sudden stretch and fullness made your mouth hang open with pleasure and pain.
tommy pulls his hips back before slamming them back in, immediately fucking you with a relentless pace. you felt like a cheap whore beneath him, like all he was thinking about was getting himself off. hell, he probably was thinking that, and that only made it hotter.
“such a fuckin’ whore… ‘n still so … shit … so tight.” tommy groans, tipping his head back while mumbling strings of curses under his breath.
“uh-huh … mmh—“ you gasp as tommy’s angles change, causing him to slam into that special spot inside you. “right there, right there—“ you ramble as your whole body pulses with pleasure. again, tommy’s not doing it to make you feel good, he just happened to tweak his angle. and if it just so happens to make you come on his cock, that’s just life he thinks to himself as he feels your arousal spill down onto his balls.
as your mind reels from tommy’s harsh pounding, you feel the barrel being pressed against the side of your head.
“maybe it would be better if i shot you like this.” he pants, laughing breathily to himself. “we could keep that pretty face of yours intact.”
your fate sat in his hands. he could kill you right then and there, you’d have zero say in it. it’s petrifying, and incredibly erotic.
you huff, “you think i’m pretty?”
tommy presses the gun against your head harder, “that’s the part you’re focused on? jesus … stupid fucking whore.”
your cunt clenches around him from his degradation, this wasn’t going to last long. the pace tommy has stuck with was not meant for longterm endurance, that’s why he chose it.
tommy let’s out a low purr at the sensation, “you really are disgusting … gripping my cock like that …” the last bit of his sentence had the slightest bit of praise hidden within it, you absolute ate up such a drastic bittersweet mixture.
his thrusts start to get janky, and his breathing is loud and laboured. much too soon for your liking, tommy pulls out and feverishly pumps himself, huffing harshly as he spills his load onto your ass and back.
you release a little whine. like, obviously the man who was sent to kill you isn’t going to sit there and make you come, but it was definitely nice while it lasted.
you’re pulled out of your thoughts as you feel tommy silently untying you. before long, your limbs are fully free.
tommy pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and takes a generous inhale before speaking.
“if anyone asks, just say you broke out of your restraints before i got here.”
you raise your brow, challenging tommy in a way. “and what if i don’t? what if i say what actually happened?”
tommy laughs, slipping his gun back into his pocket.
“then i’ll find you and actually put a bullet between your eyes. how’s that sound, sweetheart?”
—
this was one of my before-bed imagine scenarios. sigh. i’m sorry god.
462 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 20 hours
Text
Pool Party (One Shot)
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Warning: SMUT with a lack of plot, huge age gap
Words: 3,656
Notes: In this fic, Ruby is 19 years old. Tommy is in his mid-forties and married to Lizzie which, of course, does not prevent him from having some fun here and there.
Tumblr media
It was a sunny afternoon and, just like most weekends these days, you spent the day with your best friend Ruby Shelby.
Unlike you, Ruby was rather wealthy after becoming involved in her father’s company, Shelby Company Limited, and, even though she was working only on the legitimate side of the business, everyone in the Birmingham area knew that Shelby Company Limited had, in the past, been funded through drug money and pay-offs.
In the past, these pay offs and drug deals were facilitated by the Peaky Blinders, a gang involved in organised crime and run by no other than Thomas Shelby, being Ruby’s father himself.
Keep reading
1K notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2K notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
me: I'm depressed. I feel bad and I need psychological help.
psychologist: Don't worry, I'll help you. You're gonna be fine!
also this psychologist:
(i love Jonathan Crane, he's my husband)
80 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PEAKY BLINDERS  Season 1 | Episode 3
727 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
That ginger beard…. 🔥
29 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
What's the longest you've ever stared at a Cillian photo? Asking for a friend. ☺️😍
39 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
😚
33 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Photo
Tumblr media
354 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 2 days
Text
Oh my 😍😍😍😍😍
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Thomas Shelby “Peaky Blinders” icons
‒ like or reblog if you save
141 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 3 days
Text
😩🫶🏻
MY TIME IS POINTLESS
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing - Raymond Leon x fem!reader
Summary - Reader can't deal with the pain of Raymond using her and wants out.
Warnings - Implications of suicide, 18+, dubcon, rough sex.
Word count - 3.5k
You weren’t in the prostitution business but you were his favorite little whore. 
You found yourself yearning for his next letter on where and when to meet him. He wasn’t nice to you, the both of you knew that. It was clear he was obsessed with the power play, obsessed with being able to use you whenever he pleased. But you didn’t care, because you were completely in love with him. 
He was a highly respected and established Timekeeper. You were just a girl in Dayton trying to make it day to day. You first fucked him because you found him charming. Like everyone else in Dayton, you despised Timekeepers. But he was different, it didn’t take him long to seduce you in the bar. You still wonder why he was in that bar, next victim perhaps? He was rough with you, it wasn’t your style but you found yourself craving more. He paid you for your service with the excuse of hating for you to time out before he could fuck you again. 
He left you without another word. Even though you always thought about him, you didn’t think you would see him again. Until one day you got a letter with a time and place. It became a common thread. You’d get a letter, you’d meet him, get completely railed and then he’d leave, without knowing when you’d see him again. There was no schedule for your meetings. Some weeks you’d see him multiple nights. Sometimes you wouldn’t see him for weeks. Those weeks were always the hardest for you. It was pure agony, not knowing when you would see him again. He’d always give you the same amount of time, 5 hours. A “generous gift for a girl like you” as he would say. This had been occurring for quite some time, you’ve lost track on how long you’ve known Raymond for. It took quite a few fucks, but Raymond started to slow the slightest bit of aftercare, of affection. He would pet your hair to the side, or nuzzle your neck. Sometimes just keeping you in his grasp for a few moments longer. Those were your favorite moments with him.  
However, he never kissed you, he refused to do such a thing. 
The scenery was always isolated and lacked intimacy in where he would fuck you. His car, alleyways, abandoned buildings. On some occasions you would be fully naked, fully exposed to him. However, he would never take his clothes off, he would just pull his pants down enough to get his cock out. He refused to fuck you in a bed. You suggested it once, and he ignored it. Raymond warned you against telling others. Because Dayton hated all Timekeepers. “You’d be a traitoring whore”.
Your relationship with him was far from healthy. You didn’t dare to ask what you were, because it was clear. An easy fuck. But he was possessive and controlling over you. One time you just went for a walk with a friend and somehow Raymond found out. He confronted you the following night after your shift. “Did you fuck him?” he snarled, cornering you in the dark alleyway. 
“What?” you whimpered.
“That pipsqueak? Did. You. Fuck. Him” his teeth gritted together as his hand wrapped around your neck. The tone in his voice was aggressive and dark. His blue eyes could kill you if they wanted to. His cheekbones clenched and nostrils flared.  
“No- I…” you had no words. Mainly from fear, but partly from excitement that he cared for you. 
“I don’t want other men fucking you, even laying a finger on you. I won’t put my dick in a desperate, filthy slut. You’re mine and I don’t share darling. Do you understand?” he spat, grip tightened around your throat. The question was asked as if you didn’t have his hand around your throat. 
Despite being strangled, your heart swooned at those words. He wanted you. He cared for you. At least to some unhealthy extent. He didn’t let go of your throat once until after he fucked you viciously. 
You hated it, falling in love with a narcissistic man. A few times he would receive phone calls. He’d answer them mid fucking you and you knew they were women, just by his sudden change of tone. The tone he used when he first seduced you. You were so envious, so jealous. But what could you do? Ironically he wasn’t yours, but you were his. 
This night was different however, he had reserved a motel room (it was romantic to you). Raymond had just closed a very long and stressful investigation and he wanted to celebrate, with you. Of all people he chose you. There’s anyone he could have chosen in New Greenwich but he wanted to come here, the fucking ghetto, with you. 
When he came inside of you, because he always did, you did something unexpected. Your hands pulled him close to you, your foreheads touched. “I love you” you whispered, breathless from those three words. All it took was a bit of alcohol to lift that massive weight off of your shoulders. He froze, which made you freak the fuck out. After what felt like an eternity, with him still inside of you, he rubbed his forehead against yours briefly. But his lips did not part. He pulled himself out, tucked himself back in and left you without saying a word. 
He. Fucking. Left. You. 
The room was silent for a while. Your heart was waiting for him to come back. But when you finally came to the realization that he wasn’t coming back. The waterfalls flooded on the bed. It took all of your strength to leave that room. The walk home made you contemplate every worthless decision you’ve ever made, the drop from the bridge was almost compelling.  
It had been 24 days since you had last seen Raymond. A bolt from the blue it was, to receive another letter for him. You were just coming to terms that you’d never see him again. You read the time but not the place. 10pm tomorrow. You scrunched up the paper and threw it out immediately. Fuck him if he thinks you will whore around for him anymore. 
Fast forward 30 hours, here you are now, curled into a ball under your bed sheets. Tears slipping down your cold cheeks as you stare at your arm, counting down the time. It was the easiest way to go out, ‘in your sleep’. Oh how you wish you were able to fall asleep. But those negative thoughts were at peak. The room was silent and dark, as if the apartment was abandoned. The only light was the moonlight that peaked from the blinds.
The rumble from his car engine crept up your skin. He was here and it wasn’t even a quarter past 10.  You pulled your sleeves down as you waited for him because you knew he was going to get in. The stomps were slow and heavy up the flight of stairs. The door knob jiggled for a moment. Followed by a loud crack as the door flew open. You heard something fall on the ground before the door was slammed shut. 
If you weren't so miserable you would have jumped at the sound of your cheap one bedroom apartment being broken into. You could hear his heavy breaths loud and clear. The heavy strides crept up to your room. “Real daring of you to stand me up darling” Raymond snarled down the hallway. But he stopped frozen in his tracks when he saw you hidden under the bed. Briefly examining the dark room, he walked up to you slowly, a few tears slipped down your cheeks. Your grip on the thin sheets was made of iron, but you knew it wouldn’t be enough. The hiss that left your lips was sharp as he ripped the sheets off of you. 
In a flash, he pinned you down. You yelped loudly but he quickly shut you up with his palm, muttering underneath his breath. “You’re in for it now” he sighed, hips pressed against yours, noticing your tears in the moonlight. If it was brighter, you’d be able to see his concerned and genuine look. But that look quickly changed. “You’re so dramatic” he said blankly as he moved your head around with the hand that covered your mouth, just because he could. “You’re not going to be able to move a finger when I’m done with you” he gritted his teeth and you sobbed behind his hand. He chuckled, free hand reaching out to turn on the lamp to look down to the sight. When the light switched on, his blue eyes landed on the envelope on the bedside table. “What’s that?” he questioned, eyebrows scrunched and jaw clenched. You laid underneath him in silence but your tears were streaming. This wasn’t how it was meant to go. “Stay still” he ordered as he got off of you. 
It was your chance to run, so you did. You made it out of the bedroom successfully. However his arms pull you back midair in the hallway and you’re slammed against the cheap plaster. His hand again back over your mouth and body pressed against your backside to keep you still. Raymond’s sigh screamed disappointment. 
“Let’s read this together then, hm” he proudly projected as he dragged you back into the bedroom. You struggled against him as he successfully opened the envelope with one hand. You tried to beg him not to, it’s humiliating. Ending back underneath him on the bed despite your best efforts to break free, he held up the paper. 
“Raymond, my time is pointless without your love. I only love you and it kills me that you don’t love me back” his words started off arrogantly proud, but came to a sudden stop. “Your neglect is not worth my time and this is the only way out” he said much quieter as the paper slipped from his fingers, he didn’t dare to read out the rest. You remained still under him as he thought. “Show me your arm” he ordered but you were frozen with fear. “I won’t ask again sweetheart” he warned, but the way he said sweetheart made your knees weak. Through shaking hands, you rolled up your sleeve. 4 minutes and 23 seconds. An aggressive snarl left his lips before he roughly pressed your arms together, giving you a few more hours for the time being. 
Raymond gripped you by the jaw to look at him. “You wanted to time yourself out over me?” he spat. 
“I’m sorry” you cried, already submitting to him. You wanted to sink into the bed. 
“You’re such a selfish brat” he muttered. You were. “You want me to tell you I love you? Does my cock not please you enough?” he whispered to you. He was egging you on. You whined, not wanting to give him, you looked so pathetic right now. Maybe you were. But a sudden burst of anger came out of you. 
“Fuck you” you hissed and he laughed at you. He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up, not caring about any potential house rules. He slid off his leather jacket and chucked it across the room. Taking a rather long drag, he pressed his fingers to his temple. You decided to break the silence. “I can’t do this anymore. This is over. I won’t let you use me again”.
“You make the rules now do you?” He condescended as he took another drag, blowing the toxic air onto you. “I own you darling” he said slowly.
The massive speech you mentally had prepared in case this scenario did occur went blank in your mind. So, you cried instead with this asshole grinning at you. 
Raymond let you cry for a moment, petting your damp hairs to the side. “Come here” he whispered as he caressed the sides of your head. “The fuck am I suppose to do with you now? I’ll have to keep you on suicide watch won’t I?”. It wasn’t funny, you tried to hide your head in shame. “The least you could have done was give your time to someone in need” he added, with a sly face. 
Raymond dropped the cigarette onto the carpet and pulled your face closer to his. “You’re so fucking intoxicating” he said as he stared straight into your eyes. His expression was stern and you didn’t know if he meant it as a good thing or a bad thing. “I can’t kiss you baby, I’ll fall in love with you if I do” he confessed. 
The urge to beg him to do such an act felt humiliating. To seek validation from him, to embrace those natural compelling human demands. But he was like negotiating with a brick wall. These thoughts seemed to project onto your expression perfectly. A beat. 
“For fucksakes” he muttered. 
It took a moment for you to realize the sensation was his lips on yours. He felt warm and soft, your mouth automatically fell open for his silver tongue to slither in. You moaned into his mouth as his hands slid down to your sides to aggressively pull you in closer to him. His nails dug into your skin, you wanted it no other way. With an easy pull, your shorts came off. 
“There you go, my needy slut” he growled. His eyes read your soul easily. A blind man could see how infatuated you were by Raymond. You could feel himself against your core, your hips naturally flexing onto him.
Raymond noticed you lost in your thoughts and tapped your forehead to put the attention back onto him. “I guess it’s time for us to consummate our love huh?” he asked softly. You nodded your head as he got up.
No exchanges of eye contact were made as he quickly stripped down to his underwear. You couldn’t help but to stare in awe at his exposed body. Never have you seen him so exposed, so vulnerable. It’s ironic that you had seen his penis before his bare chest. Raymond was pale, but despite him being shorter and skinnier than average, his body was well defined with his muscular build. Suppose it was needed for his line of work. 
“Like what you see” Raymond sighed, his eyes finally connecting with yours.
With a heavy blink, you went to take your shirt off. When the shirt went over your head and you could see again, Raymond was on top of you. “That’s a good girl” he whispered, sliding your shirt off from your arms and throwing it onto the ground.
His blue eyes looked you up and down as he towered over you on his knees, you lowered back onto your back. You were trapped underneath him, his lower body hovered over yours. The anticipation in your chest felt heavy and your throat felt tight. One hand gripped harshly onto your right breast. “Mine” he noted, jaw clenched. The next hand did the same to your left breast. “Mine” he repeated. His hands landed on your hips. “Mine”. Now onto your thighs. “Mine”. Stomach, ass, throat, face, hair all followed with “mine”. Harsher than any grab before, his hand slapped onto your core. “Especially mine,” he grinned, finding this rather amusing, your expression of timidness and anxiety was a sight indeed. Raymond’s body finally pressed against yours as his hands caressed his ways up your body. Your lips inches apart as he stared deeply into your eyes. He whispered “all mine” as your lips brushed against each other. 
“Every inch of your body is mine and mine alone, do you understand?” he questioned you, lips still brushing against each other. 
“Yes, sir” you whispered back as your body felt like jelly underneath him. This was your favorite position, being helpless underneath him. Raymond snickered as he roughly undid your bra and ripped it off of you. 
Your cheap thong was ripped in half, a loud yelp followed after. Raymond pressed your head into the mattress as he took off his own underwear. His fingers stroked your cunt, a wide grin on his lips. “You dirty little thing” he muttered as he spat into his free hand and curled two fingers inside of you. “You really do get off to my cruel treatment, don’t you? You must have had one shit upbringing, I don’t blame you, Dayton does have that effect” he gritted his teeth and was one forceful thrust, he was deep inside of you. “You can tell me all about it later” he groaned, your walls clenched around him perfectly. 
You moaned, your eyes rolling back. Without his touch, life felt pointless. This is all you want, to be underneath him, with him. 
He started speaking between slow thrusts, “are you satisfied? You got what you wanted. You timed it all perfectly. Just enough time for me to arrive, and enough time on your clock for it to look like you wanted this”. There was no response from you besides a moan. “You’re quite the manipulator aren’t you?” he smirked, as his hand wrapped around your neck but applied no pressure. 
It was true. You did want him to come just in time to save you. But you were too insecure to think it would actually happen. Your heart sang at the fact that he did come to you but. Your feelings knew it to be true, he did want you, Raymond cannot deny it now. 
You cried out as he picked up speed, your neighbors would be hearing you for sure. Not like they’d be doing anything about it. It was only natural to cry with the force he was using, so he smacked his hand over your mouth and told you to shush. Raymond’s breathing was heavy as he pumped in and out of you, face pointed up to the ceiling. Despite the pain, you were soaking. When Raymond finally looked down, he could see what a crying mess you were. He slapped your thigh harshly. 
“Don’t cry. You wanted this, remember!” he shouted as he lifted your lower body up. He repositioned you so he was leaning back on his knees and your legs were wrapped around his waist. You didn’t stop crying, you couldn’t. 
He loved you, but he was hurting you more than ever before. Did he even love you? Or was this just some fucked mind game of his. Was he just going to finish and walk out? You seemed to be more terrified at that idea than how he was treating you right now. Raymond had you fucked up still. Or is this because his vulnerability terrifies him and he’s determined to display that even though he has affection for you, you will never be equals.
“Baby-” Raymond grunted. You looked back to him, his face sweating and jaw firmly clenched. “Look at me when I fuck you” he ordered, eyes dark. You obeyed his order. “You’re such a desperate thing, even though how hard I fuck you, you can’t get enough hm? Is my cock that good?” he teased, purposely hitting your g-spot. The pulses ran down your skin. 
“Ray-Ra-y-” you moaned, eyes rolled back. The pulsing sensations your pussy did to his cock made him smile. 
“Say my name sweetheart” he groaned, a smirk on his lips. 
“Raymond… Please!” you cried out. 
“Please what?” he grinned. You were just so easy to toy with. Your eyes went wide at him. 
“Please let me come!” you begged. 
“Wait for me, I know you can hold it a little longer” he replied. 
“No, no I can’t” you panted.
“Oh yes, you can. Maybe you need a little motivation” he sighed and crawled on top of you. Your lips latched together eagerly, his tongue naturally slid down your throat as he pumped himself inside of you. The moans rang right down his throat as your hips rocked in rhythm to his thrusts.  Raymond liked kissing you. He would soon wonder if he preferred it over the sex. His thrusts slowed down for a moment, embracing the taste of your lips. “That’s my good girl” he moaned as he searched for the perfect spot to hit you. “Ready?” he teased, you nodded rapidly, just waiting for his que. “Squeeze around my cock then baby, make me come” he groaned, plunging deep inside of you. 
The scream that echoed throughout the room sounded like a melody. Your hips locked forward, allowing him to go further inside of you. Your walls tightened around his thick cock, he quickly spurted deep inside of you. Raymond’s groan rumbled as he thrusted out his climax. You whimpered, your cunt swollen around his size. 
You were exhausted and beat. Raymond admired you, his hands traced over your skin, a small smile on his lips. You were to be forever his, and he was to be forever yours. He tried to stand up to stretch but your arms anxiously wrapped around him, the thought still lingering of him leaving you again. But he was staying this time. Your bodies were close, your face nuzzling into his neck as he thought to himself. 
“Little one” he whispered, capturing your dazed attention. You loved it when he called you that. You pulled your head back and looked at him. “I love you” he admitted, a weak smile on his lips.
924 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 3 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
sunshine☀️🕶️
337 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 4 days
Text
Can't Fool Me Anymore
Thomas Shelby x Reader
Tumblr media
Synopsis: You and Tommy were inseparable when you were young but after the war things are no longer the same, Thomas Shelby is no longer the same. The man you used to love disappeared into the ashes and this man now no longer loves you but the beautiful blonde woman... or so you thought.
Warnings/Info: Angst, mentions of weapons, death and murder, Thomas Shelby being bad, inspired by a scene from peaky blinders: season two, SMUT | 18+ ONLY (MINORS DNI).
Tumblr media
Before The War
You straddle Thomas, who lets out a small moan as you rub against his hard cock beneath his trousers. You repeat the action, moving your hips back and forth, feeling a growing warmth in your private parts. It hadn't been less than an hour since you'd arrived at Shelby's little house to hang out with your boyfriend, and hanging out meant fucking for a few hours and then talking into the wee hours of the morning.
You were simply two young people unable to control your desires.
“Will you miss me?” You say between shaky breaths. Tommy grabs your hips and forces you to rub harder against him. “Will you miss me when you're at war? Alone, without my company, without being able to touch me” You remove your white shirt, revealing that you are not wearing a bra and your small tits are the focus of Thomas's attention, who at such a sight feels the presemen wet his trousers and underwear. “Without being able to fuck me”
He grunts before answering you. “I'll miss you every fucking day, sweetheart. And when I come back I'll make you my wife and give you the life you've always deserved. Everything will change when I get back from the war.”
You stand still over him, thinking about his words. “Well, I hope you really do come back and when you do, promise me that things will change but that you will still be the same man I love,” he stares at you, paying attention to your words, as always. “Promise me, Tom.”
Tommy swallows saliva and then nods slowly, “I promise, now let me fuck you properly, eh.”
You nod with a slightly embarrassed smile, you're still not used to Thomas talking to you like this, you've been friends all your lives and you've only been dating for two years. You both take off your clothes until you are naked in body and soul and without waiting a second longer you let each other be one, allowing each other to feel every atom of the other. You move up and down, letting Thomas move in and out of you and the first moment you are distracted he grabs you tightly and pulls you under him, taking total control of your body and your arousal.
He thrusts into you in one powerful thrust, making you moan and cry out in lust.
“Shit, Tom,” you cry out with a moan as he thrusts into you again with the same force, reaching deep inside your walls and grazing your G-spot.
You wrap your legs around his hips and raise your hands to the wall behind you to cushion his thrusts, thinking that this will stop the bed from bumping against the wall, causing an annoying noise to the other members of the house, but Thomas speeds up his penetrations and try as you might the bed moves to your beat and you can do nothing to stop it.
“When I'm at war I'll remember this, you moaning beneath me as I fuck you, feeling your delicate lips squeezing my cock,” Thomas stares down at you, seeing your flushed cheeks and your tits bouncing up and down, “Fuck, I'll miss fucking you so much, baby.”
His thick cock fucks you hard and mercilessly, you start to see stars as Thomas stops and pulls out inside you, frowning and your body all sweaty you let out a moan of protest but your boyfriend laughs at your reaction.
“Face down, love. Now.”
He grabs your hips to lift your arse a little and then you feel his sweaty chest against your back, and his cock brushes against your entrance but stays there, leaving you totally aroused and frustrated to have your longed for orgasm. Thomas moves the hair on your right side out of the way to press his mouth against your ear and that's when he enters your wet pussy and grunts in your ear. His hard cock thrusts in and out of you in slow thrusts, causing uncontrolled sighs to escape your mouth but when your boyfriend braces his hands and presses his forehead against your right shoulder to speed up his penetrations there is no way to keep quiet.
“Fuck yes,” you say so loudly you're embarrassed, but it wasn't you who was controlling your screams, it was Thomas as he fucks you harder.
Now the noises in the small room of the Shelby's house were unbearable, the bed banging against the wall louder than before, your screams of pleasure, the skins crashing against each other, plus the grunts and gasps of Thomas Shelby were irritating to some people and the brother named John of the Shelby's was already tired to hearing those annoyances so he walks up to the door of his older brother's room and bangs on it with his fists.
“Tommy, stop making so much noise!” he yells.
You shut up and ask Thomas to stop but instead he drags a hand to your swollen clit and touches it shamelessly, you forget about John and go back to moaning without fear of being heard by your boyfriend's little brother.
Hearing that sensual moan, John feels a surge of arousal and feels guilty about it. He knocks loudly on the door again, but this time Tommy loses his patience.
“Fuck off, John!” He yells and goes back to focusing on fucking his girlfriend.
With Thomas rubbing your clit as his cock pumped in and out of your pussy it was enough to bring you to orgasm, you scream against his old pillow and go into a trance from which you come out when you hear Tom moan your name in your ear and then cum, staining your back with his cum.
“Wait here, don't move,” he says and pulls out of you.
After a few seconds you feel him wipe you with a cloth and then he asks you to turn over. With your back against the mattress you can see your boyfriend's face all flushed and his hair sticking to his forehead.
He looks at your still wet pussy and points to it with a nod of his head. “Spread your legs,” you obey and Tommy wipes you there too and walks back across his room naked to leave the cloth on a piece of furniture.
When he comes back to you, you move to the side of the bed, making room for him, and he lies down, grabbing a blanket to cover you both. Then he bends his head towards you and kisses you tenderly. Suddenly the lust leaves your body, and your main concern returns to your brain and you find it impossible not to ignore it.
“I'm afraid, Tom” You break the silence in the room.
He frowns as he looks at you. “Afraid of what?”
“That you won't come back, that I'm alone in this horrible place. I'm afraid I won't see you again.” You bring a hand to his right cheek, stroking it.
“That won't happen, I'll come back. I'll come back to you like I always do.”
You shake your head, you know him pretty well and you know he's a hard head. “Please don't do anything stupid, don't take a bullet for someone who doesn't deserve it, don't risk your life trying to seek justice or defend someone, Thomas. This war is not a muddy alley fight.”
Tommy sees the worry on your face and wraps his arms around your body, hugging you. “I won't, stay calm, eh?.” He kisses you again and then presses his forehead to yours, “And I'll come home, I'm sure of it.”
Our innocence mowed us down and we were slaves to our youth. Will I be the same person in five years? I wondered, but my anxiety was silenced for the first time and there was no answer.
At present day
The rainy and dark days were your favourite days in Birmingham because they showed the harsh reality of this sad and dirty city, it was like seeing the soul of a devil without any shield as a defence. Your boots were stained with mud while your hair and your whole body were wet from the humidity of the day but you didn't mind at all, you had been working all morning and afternoon at the Shelby family's betting house, your boyfriend had made a thousand demands on you all day and now that you were finally done with it all you needed a drink to reflux your throat.
As you are about to reach the Garrison tavern your steps are interrupted by a burly body, a gentleman with a moustache and hat staring at you. You too and your jaw clenches, this is the third time in ta month that Inspector Campbell has tried to talk to you, to chat with you about things that don't interest you at all.
“Good evening, miss, are you going somewhere in such a hurry?”
His irritating voice enters your ears and you take a deep breath, trying to calm your anger.
“Yes, I'm going somewhere in a great hurry, Mr. Campbell. Sure, if you'll get out of my way and stop bothering me.”
His smirk is wiped off his mouth within seconds of hearing your words. “You should be more careful what you say, miss. Because if you don't...”
“Because if not what, you'll kill me? I advise you not to do anything to me or else Tom will take care of you,” You say firmly.
He smirks again. “I'm not afraid of Thomas Shelby, besides, from what I understand he doesn't care so much for you anymore, evil tongues say he no longer loves madly the young woman he left in this town to go to war. In fact, they say he ignores her and treats her like a servant since he arrived from France, am I wrong?”
When the inspector realises how sad you look, he continues with his crude words, “Thomas Shelby doesn't care about you, if I were to kill you right now and throw you into a canal, he would be relieved to finally be rid of the woman who haunts him, begging for their dead love. Because let me tell you, if he really cared about you he wouldn't have cheated on you with the thousands of whores he slept with while he was at war, if he cared about you he wouldn't be sleeping with Lizzie Stark, your best friend, every weekend and lastly, if he cared about you he wouldn't be right now, sleeping with the pretty blonde barmaid at the Garrison tavern, where you go every day to get drunk to drown your sorrows.”
By the time he finishes speaking your tears run down your cheeks like a river, you can't believe what he is saying, you don't want to believe him. Lizzie Stark was your childhood best friend, how could she do this to you? A sharp pain in your chest keeps you from breathing normally. And Tommy, when he came back he told you that he hadn't been with any woman, that he only loved you, now you understood why when he said those words he had his eyes down, he was lying to you. He has lied to you all this time, telling you that he needed time to think about your relationship but that he still loved you. Suddenly, a rage sweeps through your body.
You look at the man in front of you. “Where does she live?” you ask, wanting to see for yourself.
“If I take you to where they are together you will have to do me a favour in return.”
You hesitate to get involved with this man, but then you think: what difference does it make, I can't lose anything anymore, I've lost everything in a few seconds, my best friend, my boyfriend and my self-esteem.
“What do you want in return?”
“I want you to tell me where Tommy Shelby is hiding the guns, tell me and I'll take you to the house.”
“No. Take me to the house and I'll tell you where the guns are, otherwise no deal.”
He nods and starts walking. “Alright, follow me”
After a few minutes you are in front of the house that the barmaid rents, through the curtains you can see the shadows of her and Thomas fucking, your heart breaks at that moment and your tears come again, you love that man, he gave you happiness all your life but now you were broken and sad because of him, the person you trusted the most. The inspector appears behind you proudly, he had finally managed to break you, to make you vulnerable to get information out of you, to confirm if Grace's information was true, as he didn't trust her since she slept with the criminal he hated so much.
“So, where are the guns?”
You take another deep breath and turn around to look at him and as you wipe away your tears you say, “In the graveyard, inside Daniel Owen's grave.”
And with nothing more to say, you walk off until you reach the Garrison tavern, where only Arthur and John are there, drinking and playing cards as usual.
“Oi! sis, come play with us!”
Arthur yells at you but you shake your head in his direction and walk behind the bar to grab a bottle of whiskey that Tommy forbids you to drink but you didn't give a shit anymore what that man wanted you to do, for the first time in your life you would be free and you wouldn't be someone's shadow anymore, you wouldn't be the stupid woman waiting for Thomas Shelby like a dog anymore. That's over. You uncork the bottle and without a second thought you take a big gulp, burning your throat, this is what you needed, get drunk to forget, get drunk to ignore your pain, you take another deep drink and walk away from the bar to approach the Shelby brothers who look at you with raised eyebrows, surprised at your behaviour.
“Fuck, love, what the fuck happened to you and what are you trying to forget by drinking that expensive whiskey, ey?” This time John speaks to you and pulls the toothpick he always chews on out of his mouth, starting to worry about you.
You point the bottle at him. “You know, when you told me you were in love with me at 17 I should have left Thomas and been with you, maybe with you I wouldn't be as unhappy as I am now.”
John and Arthur are shocked by your words, your behaviour was strange and your puffy, red eyes gave clear evidence that you have been crying, a lot. And that's when they realise that their brother has done something very bad like seeing you like this, so broken, so unlike you.
“What happened, love, what did Tommy do to you?” Arthur asks you worriedly, laying his cards on the table.
When you are about to answer the doors of the tavern open again and in the middle of it a recognizable face appears, a face you used to love but now it was just a strange face to you, Tommy slowly approaches the woman of his life, when he sees your disheveled hair, your puffy eyes and your lost look he gets worried but instead of acting like he used to do he puts an invisible wall between you, the same one he has built since he came back from the war and that he created because he was ashamed of the man he was. Because he was no longer the same man you loved, he was a completely different man, he had broken the promise he had made to you before he left and he would never forgive himself. So instead of asking you if you're okay, he points to the bottle of whisky between your fingers.
“What did I tell you about drinking that whisky, eh?”
Indignant at his words you set the bottle down on the table to your left and stare at him with a hatred that would make Thomas Shelby himself tremble, that look he doesn't know, you have always looked at him with love, admiration and adoration but never with hatred. You clench your fists and surprising the whole room you raise your hand and your fist goes straight into the face of the man you used to love. Thomas touches his cheek where your punch landed, feeling pain but not only physically but also mentally, it's over, his deceptions are over and consequently he loses what he loves most in the world. You shake your hand because your bones ache but no that was nothing compared to the pain you felt from his deception and that pain wouldn't go away with a simple shake.
“You're the worst disease that ever happened to me. You can cheat on me with every whore in this town, but Lizzie? My best friend?” Thomas looks down regretfully but there is no turning back now. You move closer to him until you're face to face, nose to nose. “Lift your head up and look me in the eye” When he finally does so you speak the words you have been holding back for a long time, “You can't fool me anymore with your lies and promises because you're dead to me Thomas Shelby.”
You step back and walk out of the Garrison tavern, leaving your past life buried, leaving behind the love you used to blindly believe in.
Your promises flew away, going so far that even you couldn't reach them. Tell me love, at what point did we become these monsters?.
Two years later
You watch as he and his beautiful wife move around the room, greeting their guests. Grace shows off her sapphire around her neck.
It had been two years since you and Thomas had been separated, well, you had been since he returned from the war, but that night at the Garrison tavern it was clear that there was nothing between you anymore, no love, no adoration. Not on your part, you had moved on with other men but for some strange reason they always moved away from you for no explainable reason, they just disappeared. That's why you kept your last relationship hidden from the eyes of the Shelby family, everything went well for a few months, you were even going to move in together but it all came to nothing when Thomas Shelby himself killed him, taking all his anger out on the man you were beginning to love. You cried for a whole day but not only because of the man's death but because you felt helpless, these two years you had tried everything to get away from Thomas Shelby, leaving the betting house and getting a simple job but a few days later you were fired by orders of the leader of Peaky Blinders, forcing you to work for him again. Then you tried to escape to a new city, to a new life, but once again the Peaky Blinders men caught you boarding the train and forbade the employees to let you on a train ever again.
You were not only unhappy being with him, but also without him, and you didn't know what to do.
Your thoughts are interrupted when the silhouette of the man you used to love enters your vision, if your mood was on the ground with him walking towards you it was now underground. Tommy notices how the expression on the face of the woman he loves changes to one of distaste when she sees him, a reaction he was unfortunately used to seeing.
“You came,” he says, settling in beside you.
“You didn't leave me, choice. Thomas” You take a swig of your champagne and set the glass down on the bar behind you. “You threatened me to come to this fucking event your stupid wife organised. She thinks she's in solidarity with the people and she's dating a gangster, it's a bit ironic don't you think?”
The Shelby nods, agreeing with your words but wouldn't ever say it out loud. “You're wearing the dress I bought you, you look beautiful in it.”
Your jaw clenches, he was still trying to woo you, even being married and it reminded you of the countless times he cheated on you with other women.
“What game are you playing, huh? Giving me dresses, flowers and a house, do you think that will make me forget that you cheated on me with my best friend, that you killed the only man who could really love me?”
Tommy regretted a lot of things he did to you, but one thing he would never regret doing was killing that Italian.
“I did it for your sake. The Italian family would never have accepted a gypsy like you.”
“A gypsy like me?” you ask, upset. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”
“You love your freedom, love. You love running on a horse, you love the cold air and you hate the concept of being a housewife and believe me you would have been very unhappy in that relationship.”
“More unhappy than I was with you? I don't think so.”
Your words hurt Thomas' heart, who finally stared at you, not knowing what to say. On the other hand you were surprised too, because most of your words were lies, you were not unhappy the first years of your relationship with him, in fact, it were the happiest years of your life. He was the love of your life, and what angered you the most was that a part of you still loved him, you still had hopes that your love was still alive somewhere in this twisted history but your thirst for revenge was stronger and you wanted Tommy to suffer in the same way that you suffered.
In the small atmosphere of you Grace approaches, as elegant and beautiful as ever, to grab her husband's arm and pull him away from your side.
“We already have to move to the other room for dinner, love.”
Grace looks at the woman she can never compete with, Thomas is still watching over you, worrying about you, feeling jealous of you, even being possessive of you. Something she could never achieve.
Tommy nods and walks away from you with his wife. You pick up your drink again to take the last drink but from a distance you see a man who worked for the man you were dating, you frown and suddenly the man pulls a gun out of his jacket and points it at Grace and Thomas. A panic enters your body, fearing for Tom's life.
“For Angel!” he shouts and his gaze focuses on you, changing the direction of his gun, now pointed at you.
Thomas for his part looks to where the gun is pointed and feels his greatest fear come true and before he can act the sound of a gun going off echoes throughout the room, stunning his ears.
You feel a sharp pain in your abdomen and the champagne glass you were holding falls to the floor, shattering into a thousand pieces. You look down at your white dress, which soon has a rapidly growing pool of blood, suddenly you have no strength left in your legs and you fall to the floor. You look up at the ceiling full of luxury, you didn't want to die here, you didn't want to die in a place where you didn't belong, where you weren't happy.
Thomas runs to you and when he arrives he drops to his knees on the floor to see the blood pouring desperately from your stomach.
“I don't want to die, Tom, I don't want to die” You say with tears streaming down your face in despair.
“CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!” he screams as tears blur his vision, he puts pressure on your wound with his hand but to no avail as the blood continues to pour out. “No, no, no. Please don't.”
You look up at a tearful Thomas with tears streaming down his face and cough as you feel yourself choking, realising that it was blood coming out of your mouth. In the distance you hear Arthur beating the man to death, you hear Polly screaming in despair, Ada crying and John sending thousands of men for an ambulance, but it was too late, you start to lose feeling in parts of your body, first your toes, then your arms, then your neck and finally your eyelids fall off. Your last sense is hearing and you hear how Thomas cries desperately, grabbing your body, hugging it, but it's too late because from one second to the next you stop feeling everything and your heart stops beating.
“NOOOO! Come back to me, love.” Thomas clutches your lifeless body, cradling it against his chest and cries like never before in his life.
The Shelby family approaches where he is with what's left of you. Devastated at the sight of the pool of blood and your body in Tommy's arms.
“Leave me alone with her” Tommy says to his family but there is no response from them. So he looks up and looks down at them. “Please leave me alone.”
It didn't take another word from him for everyone to leave the room in a heartbeat, he looks back at you, tears already dried on your cheeks and blood on the side of your mouth. Dead, and all I could feel was guilt, because if I had never cheated on you, if I had never killed that Italian this would never have happened, and you would be alive. Thomas leaves a kiss on your forehead and caresses your face.
“I'm so sorry, love. I will never forgive myself, ever.”
He says and clings to your body, wishing he was dead too, because what little light there was in Thomas Shelby's soul died right then and there, with her in his arms. He knew full well that the consequences of his actions would one day take their toll on him, but he never imagined that the only thing that made him human would be taken from him, now he felt nothing but hatred for life and for himself. He walked away from you to take care of you but it was in vain, because everyone knew how much he loves you but you and now you will never know because you are gone forever. It's too much, too late to go home – Thomas thought as he looked at his beloved.
The floor was painted with my blood, your tears were not enough to save me in your fragile arms because of the pain you felt. And now you ask yourself, what have I done? and the answer is easy, baby. You killed me with your lies, what kind of man loves like this?.
Tumblr media
A/N: English isn't my first language, so forgive me if there are spelling mistakes.
991 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 5 days
Text
CHANGE OF PLANS
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing - Jackson Rippner x fem!reader
Summary - When plans don't go as expected, Jackson refuses to go home empty handed.
Warnings - 18+, noncon, sex tape, anal, rough sex
Word count - 4k+
Tumblr media
You couldn’t even drink the overpriced, heavily sweetened, high calorie dense coffee in your hand. All you could do was stir your drink with your stirrer, your eyes were red and mouth dry from that overnight flight. It felt like there was a bottomless pit in your stomach, growing continuously.
Jackson sat across from you, watching you like a prey. He was trying to deconstruct everything you were thinking. His eyes were dark and jaw clenched as he let his coffee go cold. Tapping his fingers on his thigh, his sight lowered to your cleavage, he felt his cock twitch. 
The phone rang, instantly Jackson brought it to his ear and spoke, “hello?”
Your eyes shot up to him, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. Shivers were running in all directions across your skin. Jackson’s expression showed how focused he was on the call, but he showed no emotion. 
“Oh, lucky us. Contact me when you have more information” Jackson gritted his teeth. Hanging up the phone, Jackson slid it back into his jacket pocket. He stared off into the distance, watching the travelers come and go. “You lucky fucking bitch” Jackson snarled, his eyes snapped to you, your eyebrows furrowed and blood froze. “Keefe left the room early due to an emergency…” Jackson explained, his words trailing. “Luckily enough we were notified before we could make the hit” he added, his stare was intimidating, as if this was all your fault. 
His hand started tapping on the flimsy table in a rhythm as he thought. “Change of plans unfortunately, if you want your dad to live, you gotta come with me” Jackson sighed, he was not going home empty handed. Jackson stood up and picked up his small luggage. You stared at him with wide eyes.  
“But I did what you asked me!” You cried out, your voice went dry and your body began to shake. Looking down at you, he sighed and kneeled beside you. 
“Yes, I know you were a good girl. And since you were such a good girl, I think you’d be more than happy to do one more thing for me” Jackson winked to you, holding your hands in his. It was difficult with how to react, you just wanted to go home, too exhausted to even consider what he wanted from you. The advantage of witnesses was on your side, he couldn’t force you out. Jackson picked up on this instantly, “remember your dad’s life is only one call away” he hissed, tapping his foot impatiently. 
Blinking back the tears, you stood up and picked up your luggage. He held out his hand for you, reluctantly you took it. Following Jackson out of the crowded terminal, his hold was harsh as he was almost yanking your arm out of its socket. Arriving at the taxi stand, you got into one almost instantly. 
Instead of you both sitting on either side of the back, Jackson decided to sit in the middle. “Where bouts you going?” The driver asked, having a zero care factor in his tone.
“To a motel” Jackson sighed, his hand resting on your knee. 
“Which one?” The driver scoffed. 
“Any” Jackson muttered and gestured his hand for the driver to hurry up, he was impatient.  
You remained curled up against the door, looking out the window in hopes for any distractions, the Miami sun shined on your face yet you still felt so cold. Jackson pulled back out his phone and made a call. His words fell dead on your ears, your mind felt fuzzy. You were meant to be going home, but now he’s probably going to be holding you in captivity until he figures out his new game plan, thinking of a way to keep you quiet. His hand was tracing circles on your thigh, he hung up and looked down to you. 
“You okay?” Jackson murmured. The driver would be oblivious to his true sinister nature. You could only act and nod your head, his smile was innocent to the blind eye. Pressing his lips to your temple, you had to resist your gag. 
The driver dropped you off at the motel, it looked dirty and cheap, so there would definitely be a room. You followed Jackson into the reception room, he gestured to you to take a seat as he walked up to the receptionist. Within a couple of minutes, Jackson was fiddling with the room key and tilted his head towards the door for you to follow. 
Trailing up the stairs behind him, your eyes darted around as he stuck the key into the lock. The door creaked open, Jackson waltzed inside and threw his bag onto the chair, bee lining straight to the bathroom. Creeping inside, you looked around the cheap room, to be fair, it didn’t look so bad. Just outdated and maybe a bit too dusty. 
Jackson washed his face and stared in the mirror, his expression dark and cold as his fingers tapped on the countertop. Through the mirror, you were in sight, awkwardly standing in the corner of the room, looking down. Appearing back into the room, Jackson grinned to you as he laid on the bed, his elbows propped up his upper body. 
“Come to me” his smug look sent shivers down your spine. 
Hesitantly, you approached Jackson, your arms crossed over as you rubbed anxiously. Standing before him, your eye level was low, as Jackson stared you up and down continuously.
“Did I tell you how breathtaking I think you are?” Jackson asked, his mouth ajar open, ocean blue eyes fixated on you. You knew exactly where this was going. The last thing you wanted to do was engage in this conversation, but you didn’t want to know the consequences if you didn’t. But hey, he’s probably just a two pump chump like the rest of them and then your nightmare will be over. 
“N-no” you shuddered. 
“Come here then, let me tell you” Jackson purred, slightly flexing his hips forward towards you, you couldn’t hide your expression of shock when you saw the tent in his pants. 
The ache told you in your body that you needed to throw up, but you had to swallow that thought as you did as he said. Sitting on the bed next to him, his lips pressed to the crook of your neck instantly. Shuddering, your arms locked over your chest as he hummed by you. 
“Such a pretty girl” Jackson complimented you, his hand gripping onto your inner thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin. Should have worn pants, you swore to yourself. “What a good girl you have been for me” Jackson smiled, his tongue gently swirling over your earlobe. Without your consent, Jackson started unbuttoning your blouse. “Are you going to stay a good girl for me?” Jackson asked condescendingly as he forced your arms to your sides.
“Y-yes” you whimpered whilst he was kneading your tits, admiring your pretty little cream bra.  
The fabric was pulled off of your arms. Unclasping the hooks, Jackson took off your bra and stared at your exposed chest in awe. “So fucking breathtaking, you were quite distracting, I won’t lie. I had to jerk off a couple of times watching you, my desires got the better of me!” Jackson moaned, his mouth now over your chest as his tongue began to swirl over your hardened nipple. “Wanted to sneak into your room and fuck you dirty so bad…” he mumbled, smelling in your scent. “Lie down” Jackson ordered, pushing you gently. 
Obeying him, you lied on the bed and Jackson smiled down at you. Jackson hopped off the bed and went to his bag, he pulled out a tie a matching shade to his jacket and walked back over to you. “Hands above your head, love” Jackson winked, kneeling on the edge of the bed. 
“Please” you whimpered, 
“Do you trust me baby girl?” Jackson cocked an eyebrow up, following up with lifting you to the head of the bed. 
No. But you would be an idiot to say that to him. 
Reluctantly with a staggered breath, you raised your hands above your head. Jackson swiftly and tightly tied your hands through a loop in the bed frame. Giving it a test tug, you were helpless underneath him. The smirk was evil as he looked down to your exposed chest, his hand trailing over your hardened nipples. 
Jackson sighed as he hopped back off the bed, heading back over to his belongings. Anxiously you watched his back, he pulled out an object and was fiddling with it. 
“What are you doing?” You whined slightly, the anticipation was killing you, shamefully, you wanted him to just get to it. 
When Jackson turned around, your stomach fell. Why the fuck does he have a camrecorder? One of those small ones that can fit into an inside jacket pocket, with a flip screen. 
Jackson chuckled as he walked back over to the bed, placing the camcorder on the edge of the bed. “Insurance” he answered with a tsk as he took off his jacket. 
“Please no! Please don’t do this!” You begged, the last thing you wanted was to have his assault on tape. When Jackson ignored your pleas, you tried to kick it off, hopefully break it but Jackson caught your foot and gave you a warning look. 
“Oh baby girl, don’t worry. This is more so for personal pleasure. I won’t show a soul, unless you decide to be a brat and make any false claims to anyone about me… You’d hate to have this sent to everyone you know, ruining your reputation over some little lies about a friendly stranger sitting next to you, wouldn’t you?” Jackson shot you a deadly glare as he slid off your heels, his hands caressing over your shivering skin. 
“Please!” You tried to beg, but you knew it was falling on deaf ears. 
“Don’t make me fucking gag you” Jackson snarled as he pounced on top of you, his hand wrapping around your throat. “I want to hear those pretty moans of yours” he whispered, his lips gently brushing over yours as you shivered at his touch. “I thought you trusted me” Jackson pouted, noticing how badly you were trying to break out of the restraint. “Be a bad girl and I’ll leave you on the edge. But be a good girl, and you can come as many times as you want. That’s a fair deal isn’t it?” Jackson asked smugly. 
This was Jackson’s stress reliever, his payback, as if you were the emergency to get Keefe out of the hotel. Now because of this misconvenience Jackson will have to go back to the drawing board, and get a large sum cut from his paycheck for missing the deadline. He always knew the chances of it not going to plan, there were precautions put in place if this did indeed happen. It was just a bitch when it did indeed happen, it was like getting a shit review on Yelp. There would only be one more chance however, so if Jackson fucked that up then he is done for. 
The pressure of his bulge pressed into your open stomach. You remained still underneath him, not wanting to create any friction between the two of you. Jackson pressed his lips to the side of your mouth, and then the other side, and then he kissed you fully. Fearfully, you opened your mouth for his tongue to slide in as he grips onto your breasts. 
“If we met under more traditional circumstances, I would have asked you out on a date” Jackson admitted, his thumb rolling over his lower lip. The frightening thing is that you would have said yes under different circumstances. “Who knows, maybe after this I still might” Jackson shrugged his shoulders as he slipped down the bed to pull off your skirt and panties. 
Jackson groaned at the sight of your clean cunt, you tried to press your thighs together but he harshly smacked your side. 
“Don’t be a bad girl” he warned, pointing his index finger at you. 
You sobbed as you forced yourself to spread your legs apart, not fully, but enough to be considered a good girl. Turning on the camcorder, Jackson bent down, his hand pushing your thigh to the side to get a clear view of your dripping cunt.  
“Oh baby, is this all because of me?” Jackson whispered, his fingers stroking down your gushing entrance. “I knew you felt the same way as me” he said to himself, but you heard loud and clear. 
Jackson slipped in his index finger, before you could react, a small moan slipped out of your lips. Forcing your mouth shut by biting onto your lower lip, Jackson sighed as he watched the footage record on the small screen. When a second digit went in, your teeth cut into the skin of your lip. Your moans were muffled, hips wiggling underneath him. Then, when a third digit slid in and hit your pressure point, you moaned out loudly, unable to hold it in anymore. 
“There she is” Jackson smirked, pointing the recorder at your face. Hiding your face to the side in shame, Jackson continued to record you, his fingers viciously pumping in and out of you. Your mouth hung open as your moans rung through the room. 
Butterflies in your stomach, hips rocking with the motions of his fingers and chest heaving, you desperately tried to think of anything else to forget about the sensations bolting up your skin. But everything was failing horribly. How could it be so wrong yet feel so fucking good?
“Do you need to orgasm already?” Jackson questioned, feeling your walls clench against his fingers. Your body shivered with disgust and pleasure, you did, you desperately did. 
Jackson’s mouth hung open as he moved up the bed to get a close angle of your face. “Don’t look away” he warned, still pumping his fingers viciously inside of you. “I want to get your climax on camera” he explained. “Everyone should see how fucking good you feel right now” his tone was mumbling now. 
Shortly, Jackson got what he wanted as your walls clenched around his fingers. You screamed out, all on camera as your eyes rolled back and body shook with pleasure. He made sure to get the perfect close up on your display of pure pleasure. 
“Fuck, you’re something else” Jackson’s smile was psychotic. 
As you were recovering from your post orgasmic state, your stomach felt full of anxiety. It was oblivious to you when Jackson unbuckled his belt and pulled out his large size. On his knees next to your head, he stroked himself, Jackson waited for you to notice him and when you finally did, you couldn’t help but to sob at the sight of his size. 
Turning your head to the side, as if it would make this all stop, Jackson laid the head of his cock on your flustered cheek. You mewled as the firm feeling on your skin, Jackson still recording you laughed, “come on baby, don’t be mean” Jackson cooed, tapping his cock on your cheek now. 
His tip slipped into your mouth as soon as you turned your head back. A low groan lingered out of his mouth as he gently started to thrust his cock deeper into your mouth, filling your mouth to the rim. The position of your arms started to ache, Jackson moved himself so he was straddling you, his twitching cock trapped into your mouth. It didn’t take long for you to gag, your arms thrashing around as you struggled to breathe. But Jackson just smiled as he continued to record you. The cries and gags sent vibrations up his length. 
With your legs kicking around, your eyes were completely swelled up with tears, your mascara slowly running down your cheeks. He was going to choke you to death, with his cock. It was surprising how you didn’t have the natural reaction to bite down on his size. Jackson was mumbling words, clenching his jaw as the head of his cock was hitting the back of your throat steadily. 
The taste of his semen was like pure salt, your face scrunched up as you groaned onto his cock. Jackson held his cock in your throat for a moment, just to make sure all of his white sticky goodness slid down your throat.
“Now darling! That’s a fucking mouth” Jackson praised as he pulled his cock out and moved back to the side of you. Moving the camera directly in front of your face, he recorded your beat and sweaty face. 
“Get onto your knees” Jackson sighed, moving back to the end of the bed. 
It was difficult to do, and you were confused with what exactly he meant by on your knees. But he guided you, twisting the mid of your body around so you were on your knees and the tie pulling up your upper body. It wasn’t a comfortable position, to say the least. 
“You like anal?” Jackson asked, his free hand caressing your ass as he looked at your holes through the camera. You sobbed, your body automatically lunging forward to try to get away from him, but he wrapped his arm around your waist to hold you still as you cried. “Baby, baby, baby” Jackson cooled, his hand rubbing your stomach as his cock pressed against your core, whilst he tried to keep the camera still at a good angle. “It’s actually good! You’d be surprised with how hard you’ll come… We’ll be quick! I haven’t done anal in so long and business is fucking shit, but you already know that…” Jackson tried to calm you, attempting to put pity onto himself in the process, but you were still mewling like you had just witnessed a death in the family. Jackson leaned over your back and pressed his cheek to yours. “We’ll make a deal, if I come again before you, then I’ll take you home to your father” Jackson sighed, kissing your heated cheek to help calm you. 
It was pointless, you were going to do anal whether you said yes or no. Shamefully, you nodded your head in which Jackson smiled and grabbed one of the pillows, gesturing for you to bite onto it. His thumb circled over your pristine hole before lining up his cock. Rubbing himself at your entrance, he reminded you to breathe. 
“We’ll go nice and…” Jackson’s words stopped as he pressed his tip in, he breathed out, “slow”. Biting onto the pillow hard, you hissed at the pain, your hips and knees locking otherwise you would have fallen forward.  He didn’t even have the decency to warm you up. 
Jackson gradually deepened his thrusts, having no shame in moaning softly. “That’s my good girl, taking my big cock so fucking well!” Jackson praised, caressing your ass as you just tried to focus on breathing, you could feel yourself painfully clench around his size. “This is such a good fucking angle, I can’t wait to show you” Jackson chuckled, recording your backside. 
As if you would ever want to watch that. The pillow fell from your mouth. “Please stop recording me” you pleaded, jaw shaking from the pain and embarrassment. 
“Why baby?” Jackson pulled a face, still pumping his cock as quickly as your hole would allow him to. 
“I don’t like this” you panted, wincing at the pain shooting up your body, your legs wobbling like jelly. 
“Suppose I have enough footage…” Jackson breathed, putting the camera down onto the side of the bed. Little did you know, the camera was still recording. 
You gasped out as his balls pressed against your pussy, it was painful to feel his cock twitch inside of you. He was about to orgasm again, if you just held out for a little longer you’d be able to get the fuck out of here. However, you didn’t realize how turned on you were, distracted by the pain you were. Your cunt was dripping onto the cheap sheets.
“Fuck, you really want me to come don’t you?” Jackson laughed, feeling your ass clench him for dear life. “I booked for the night, not the hour baby. We have plenty of time” he continued, purposely trying to tease you as he playfully smacked your ass. Surprisingly you yelped at the sensation, your cunt squeezing naturally. “Oh, she likes to be spanked” his words murmured as he spanked you again, a bit more harsh this time, another yelp escaped your lips. 
Continuing to spank you, you were a moaning mess, shaking at the pain and pleasure combined as one. Despite your efforts not to, you came, hard. Jackson wasn’t lying about that, that’s for sure. “I win” Jackson laughed as your moans were music to his ears as you were swearing to yourself, beating yourself up that he had won. Quickly after, Jackson came into your ass, pulling himself out roughly mid orgasm to shoot his ropes of white stickiness all over your backside. 
Jackson let your body drop onto the bed, sighing to himself as he started unbuttoning his shirt. Laying there, completely exhausted from coming twice so quickly (you’d always consider yourself lucky if a guy could make you orgasm) Jackson pulled his undershirt over his head and ensured the recorder was at a good angle. When that was done he crawled next to you. 
“So… Do you like anal now?” Jackson grinned at you, you lowered your sight from his cruel joke, he rolled his eyes. “Come on baby, I need to know how fucking devine that cunt of yours feels” Jackson murmured, laying on his back and pulling you towards him. 
You whined, too weak to even consider fucking him again, but you straddled him anyways, your abused ass pressing against the fabric of his pants, arms hung around both sides of his head. How can he have so much composure? Was he feeling any fatigue? You despised how much stamina this man had. 
Jackson chortled at how easily he slipped inside of your sweet pussy, he thrusted his hips up and you gasped for air, your head falling onto his sweaty, pale chest. Your mouth pressed against his pec as you kept your eyes shut as you moaned continuously, there was no point in keeping your dignity now, Jackson had already broken you. 
“I bet you didn’t know you could get this fucking wet. Your fucking welcome” Jackson spat by your ear, his hands gripping onto your sore ass, as he thrusted up straight to your cervix. He grunted out, burying his cock deep into your canal. 
Jackson gripped onto your throat and forced you to look up to him. You choked out as Jackson’s stare was emotionless, despite his hips rocking in and out of you rapidly. He knew you were going to climax yet again, you were wrapping around him perfectly. 
“I want you to look at me when you climax” Jackson said calmly, his expression dark. 
Your next orgasm rolled over like a massive wave, you cried out, legs shaking like leaves in the wind as you were gasping for air, his hand still wrapped around your throat. Jackson smirked to you, refusing to slow down despite your obstructed pleas. 
With a heavy grunt, Jackson lifted up his upper body as he forced his cock in as deep as possible, his balls pressed against your intimate skin as he came undone. His hold on your throat tightened, in a moment of panic you believed that he was going to strangle to death, you thrashed around, but it was pointless with your hands restrained and his free hand holding your waist close. 
When you started seeing stars, Jackson let go of his grip and you collapsed onto his chest. Jackson sighed. Holding you close as he laid back down on the bed. Humming to himself, Jackson caressed your back as you struggled to find steady breath. 
“Free for dinner next week?” Jackson smiled innocently. 
Tumblr media
623 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 5 days
Text
Lies Travel Faster..
Request from @elenavampire21
Pairing - Thomas Shelby and Reader
Could I ask for a Tommy gif using this picture. You and Tommy have been close friends and is working at the garrison and both have been scared to admit they love each other. You feel sad when one day grace is flirting with tommy . That night when it’s just you and Tommy he ensures that it’s only you he loves and both end up having sex .
@zablife has written a fantastic version of this request. You can read it here
Tumblr media
Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself to enter The Garrison. Pausing, you checked your watch again, ten minutes early for your shift. Damn it. You didn't want to have to make conversation, with her. Her fake laugh just irritated you, the way she watched your every move. Followed you around, trying to befriend you.
You didn't want her as a friend.
The way you saw it was, she was your number one enemy. Bit harsh maybe? No... fuck it. She had swooped in, taken half of your shifts. Taking Tommy's attention away from you. Everyday you had day dreamed, of pouring the drip trays over her perfect blonde hair. Would she be laughing then? No...
Deciding you couldn't delay any longer, you pushed the heavy door open. Two pairs of eyes, stopping their conversation to look at you. Grace with her smug grin dropping, when she realised it was you.
Tommy Shelby's girl, so everyone thought. But no, you were just friends. Sadly... he would never see you, as anything more.
Leaning against the bar, you let your eyes drift to his pert ass. Pausing taking a sip of his whiskey, he smiled over to you.
"Here she is, the one and only Y/n Y/L/N," he winked, lifting his arm for you to greet him.
It was just how you were with each other. Flirting, Ada would say. It was just being friendly, that was all. Standing beside him, you placed your bag onto the counter. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, he kissed your cheek.
"The one and only?" you laughed, staring into his eyes. Instantly feeling happier. "Surely one is enough, Tommy?"
"It is for me," he answered, "You working now?"
Grace hovered behind the bar, taking her time to fold the cloth. "Four minutes to be precise," you smiled at him, slipping out of his grasp to hang your coat in the back room. Eurgh, you could smell her perfume from here. What was it? Tart? with a hint of man stealer?
"Stop it, Y/n," you chastised yourself. Be the better person, as your mother always told you. Treat others how you want to be treated.
Stepping behind the bar, you squeezed past her. There it was, the irritating giggle at something Tommy had said. He was hardly a comedian.
"Evening Y/n," she remarked.
"Grace," you forced a smile, standing beside her.
"Can I offer you anything else before I go, Mr Shelby?" she questioned, leaning forward over the bar. Fluttering her eyelashes at him.
Like what? Your tits? You wanted to retort.
"Nah, Y/n will look after me, I'm sure, eh?" he replied, watching you start to clean the glasses.
"Yeah, you can go, Grace. You look tired," you responded, brushing past her.
Reaching for the cloth. Hearing Tommy chuckle, you ignored him. Continuing with your work, anger bubbling. Leaving to fetch her coat and bag, you heard Grace call goodbye. Before the heavy door fell shut once again.
"Y/n Y/L/N, tut, tut," Tommy spoke, as he lit a cigarette. "Where's your manners, ey? I think you upset our dear barmaid,"
Looking at him briefly, you rolled your eyes. Before taking the small ladder, to climb up the the top shelf. "She will get over it," you sighed, hearing the clip clop of Tommy's shoes, coming behind the bar. His cigarette smoke following him.
"What's up with you, ey?" he questioned, looking up at you, on the ladder. The shape of your curves visible, making the blood rush to his cock. "You not like her?"
Briefly glancing down at him, you tried to remain angry. His baby blue eyes gazing up at you, hair tousled from a long day. Blowing the smoke up to the ceiling. Just looking so fuckable.
"No... I don't," you replied, "She's fake," Reaching up again, to put the whiskey back. You wobbled on the ladder, "Shit," you gasped, grasping onto the shelf.
Climbing onto the ladder behind you, Tommy held your waist.
"Come on, climb down before you fall," The heat of his skin, could be felt through your thin dress. Without warning he lifted you, holding you tightly, before placing you on the bar counter.
"I've got you," he whispered, eyes flitting towards your lips.
"I wasn't going to fall," was all you could think of saying. He was now stood in between your legs, still holding your waist. The chemistry between you was electric.
"Grace..." he started, tucking your hair behind your ear, fingertips tracing along your cheek.
"Tommy, seriously?" you answered, trying to push him away. His strong hands stopping you.
"Just listen, hmm?" he pleaded, his lips landing on yours, catching you off guard. Holding them against yours, feeling like they belonged there. That he was meant to kiss you. Taking your breath away.
“Grace means nothing to me, she’s nothing to me. She works for me, that’s it. You….” Grabbing your hips, he pulled you further to him. Bodies moulding together.
“Are the one… the one I love,” There, he had said it, said the words out loud, he had confessed. Finally! After Polly being in his ear, for the past six months.
She was convinced you felt the same.
"You do?" you whispered, looking up at him, willing him to say it again.
Reaching behind you, he stubbed out his cigarette. Holding your face gently, nose brushing against yours. "Y/N Y/L/N, you are a beautiful, fierce, loyal woman. And I love you, I want us to be together,"
The ticking of the clock in the background could be heard, as silence descended. Tommy eagerly awaiting your answer.
"I love you too, Thomas Shelby, always have," you confessed, a smile spreading across your face. Feeling relief that he felt the same as you. "Kiss me again," Reaching up, you wrapped your arms around his neck.
"I'm taking you home, and I'm gonna do more than kiss you, eh," he warned you, nibbling at your neck.
"Ah god, Tommy, keep going," you screamed, as he thrust into you. Your second orgasm fast approaching, his hips rolling into your, lips connecting.
"Will you be mine, Y/n?" he asked, lips brushing against yours. Before upping his speed again, fucking you so deep and hard.
"Yes, yes," you screamed, answering his question as you came undone again.....
Tags- @cloudofdisney @romanogersendgame @goldensunflowe-r @captivatedbycillianmurphy @lauren-raines-x @katsav17 @answer-the-sirens @kathrinemelissa @datewithgianni @geminiwolves @lyarr24 @ysmmsy @mysticaldeanvoidhorse @dolllol2405 @padfootdaredmetoo @cheekybluefox @stevie75 @blyanyan @cevans-winchester @shadow-hunters-lover @look-at-the-soul @livelifewondering @duckybird101 @lespendy @raychhh @dressedinpoetrysblog @cillmequick @castellandiangelo @midnightmagpiemama @thenattitude @forgottenpeakywriter @elenavampire21 @angelic-kisses13 @cljordan-imperium @peakyscillian @pono-pura-vida @already-broken144 @muhahaha303 @kmc1989 @lilorphanann @amberpanda99 @bernelflo @trixie23 @globetrotter28 @in0320 @laylasbunbunny @lau219 @surfin-the-sun @fiokw @fuseburner @crispynutella @snowtargaryen @neonpurplestars89-blog @danzer8705 @hagarsays
429 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 5 days
Text
ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR - PART 2
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing - Jonathan Crane x fem!reader
Summary - When you were attacked in your own home, you confined yourself with Jonathan to help you heal. Until you learn a sickening truth that changes everything.
Warnings - extreme NON-CON, dub con, rough sex, drugging, physical abuse, dead dove do not eat, manipulation, controlling, just really bad.
Word count - 7.8k +
Notes - Andddddddddd here it is. Posting it before I regret my decision. I've never written something so mentally dark so I don't know how I feel. So please listen to the warnings! And unfortunately I wrote too much so there will be a third and hopefully last part...
Tumblr media
When you woke up in the morning, your skull felt like a nail and your throbbing migraine was the massive hammer banging against it. But it was nothing compared to the weight of regret and dubiety on your chest. Despite your intoxicated state, you could remember the details all too perfectly, the two of you, together. As your eyes fluttered open, you hesitantly looked beside you to find the bed empty. A slight sensation of relief ran through you as you regained full consciousness. 
It was just past nine in the morning and you were desperately hoping that Jonathan had work. But even though the silence was loud, the anxious pit in your stomach was telling you otherwise. Jonathan would be lurking around somewhere, waiting for your arrival. After what felt like an eternity of beating yourself up inside your head, regretting the night, regretting how much you seemed to enjoy yourself, you realized that you had to face him. You looked down to your body under the sheets and saw that you were in his shirt and your underwear. Dried fluids painted over the skin of your thighs. 
Crawling out of the bed, you looked around for your clothes but couldn’t find them anywhere. They were probably in the wash, he was such a clean freak. Your fingers were like brushes as you combed through your hair. Daring to look at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but to feel like a cheap whore. Quickly, you looked away from your frame and blinked hard. Tiptoeing to the door and down the hallway, you could hear the frypan sizzle and smell the fresh eggs and bacon cooking. Perhaps you could creep out the door before he could even notice your woke.
You didn’t want to see him. Your mind was a thunderstorm in the making. Everything felt so confusing, you couldn’t get a grasp on your thoughts, you needed time to think. It was frightening, seeing how infatuated he truly was by you. But at the same time, you felt wanted, you secured. You felt the power running through your blood. How easily you could make him bend for you. No, that’s what you wanted to believe. 
You brought out the best in Jonathan. His generosity, kindness, preserveness. But you also brought out the worst in him, his jealousy, possessiveness, demands, ownership. That was all confirmed last night. No matter how he projected it to look, they were the elements in his hands.   
Jonathan’s head turned back at the creak underneath your foot. He was already fully dressed. Jonathan always dressed so proper, his trousers snatched his waist and sleeves of his white button up were rolled to his elbows. A wide smile instantly grew on his lips as he approached you without hesitation. It was like the sight of an innocent child, the look on his face as he was closing into the distance. “Oh, you’re awake darling” Jonathan greeted, wrapping his arms around you before you could even comprehend his behavior. 
Jonathan’s state of happiness couldn’t notice your stiffness underneath him. Breathing in your scent, he pressed his lips by your earlobe. “Forgive me, you know that my brilliance does not major in culinary, but I thought I’d just whip something up for you. To help with the hangover” Jonathan continued with a chuckle, a great look of contentment as his hand stroked your hair. 
It’s bewildering with how it already felt like your heart was stuck in your throat. “Johnny” you whispered very faintly, his nose now pressed against your hair as he continually breathed in your scent deeply. This was pure torture, would someone put an end to your misery? 
“Did you want coffee? Juice? Water would be a safe option” he murmured, guiding you deep into the kitchen so he could lower the heat on the stovetop. 
“Johnny” You repeated more forcefully but still nothing. He was so caught up in his thoughts that for once he didn’t even bother to read your body language. Jonathan opened up the fridge and pulled out a bottle of orange juice. “Jonathan!” You shouted, your nostrils flaring from frustration as your arms trembled. 
Jonathan froze momentarily, back stiff and jaw clenched, as if he had already seen what was going to occur. He put the juice back into the fridge and shut the door before turning back to you with a stern expression as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 
“Yes darling?” Jonathan cocked an eyebrow to you as his eyes stared you up and down, examining your expression and body language. “Oh, yes, a great hangover indeed. Migraine? I’m sure I would be able to find something to help with that” he attempted to switch the conversation, flashing a smug smirk. 
A beat. 
“I’m sorry” you whimpered, looking down in guilt. 
“I don’t follow” Jonathan spoke emotionlessly. His expression was firm, quickly refusing to show you any more vulnerability. His jawline was as sharp as a sword as he leant back against the counter.
Another beat.
“What we did was wrong” you shuddered, you could already feel your eyes swell up, pins poking at your orbs. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t make eye contact with him, too afraid of seeing his demeaning glare. 
“What are you going on about, sweetheart?” Jonathan frowned, crossing his arms across his chest as he stepped towards you, leaving the sizzling pan unattended. “What’s wrong?” He asked innocently, but Jonathan Crane was never known to be naive. 
“Last night was a mistake, we both drank too much and acted thoughtlessly” you explained through a few chortled sounds, shaking your head at the memory of you two in bed together. 
Jonathan laughed obnoxiously and shook his head at the idea of that. “No, you’re wrong” he objected sternly, taking another step towards you. Backing you up to the other direction of the counter, he firmly placed both hands on either side of the bench, trapping you in. “I enjoyed myself. You enjoyed yourself, twice. There was nothing wrong with two people finally finding each other, sweetheart. You don’t need to feel guilty about anything” Jonathan argued calmly as the back of his hand stroked your cheek, but his eyes looked like they wanted to strangle you. All you could do was stand there in silence, the edge digging into your lower back, unable to form a proper counter-argument, your mouth ajar open. 
Jonathan waited patiently for you to make up a response as he hummed to calm you. You found your chest feeling more at ease as the airflow went at a better pace. See, you can see it right? How he’s calming your emotions, sending signals to your brain that everything is going to be okay. But this isn’t what you want, it isn’t what you need right now. 
“I think it’s best if I leave… I need to think over things” you finally replied, your expression slightly cringing at your honest words. 
The way his eyes went soft felt like a stab to the gut, his hand slowly brushed down your forearm as he stared at you. “You can think over them here with me darling” Jonathan whispered his plea, his fingers sending tingles up your skin. The silence was loud as you kept your head low. It was hurting him, you were hurting him. The words that next left his lips were the ones you were dreading the most. “Do you regret making love to me?” Jonathan asked flatly. 
“I don’t know” you answered, whimpering at this conversation. 
“It’s a yes or no answer” Jonathan swiftly responded blankly, clicking his tongue as his strokes became firmer, his nail lightly scratching your skin. 
“Jonathan please, I was drunk, I was upset, I was lonely. I wasn’t thinking straight!” You cried out your  argument, but it was falling on deaf eyes as Jonathan blinked. 
But you wanted him. You know you did, despite how much you were regretting it. His touch was like electricity, it sent your nerves on ecstatic fire and it terrified you. Yet, you don’t want him completely. 
“Did I not make you feel good? Forgive me but I got a different impression from you last night” Jonathan grunted, his hands now caressing up and down your bare thighs. It made your knees feel weak and you had to bite back your moan. 
It felt good, he felt good. Why were you denying the two of you from this? It was wrong, this isn’t what your relationship was meant to turn into. He was never meant to catch you, you were always meant to be one step ahead. Your mind was hurricane right now. There was no idea that you could catch, hold onto. 
As you blinked, you realized he was still talking. “But you already knew that I love you” Jonathan continued on, his fingers slipping underneath the band of your underwear, massaging your hips. 
“Jonathan…” You warned, or begged? You couldn’t tell what was going on anymore. Your mind wanted to run away yet your body wanted to embrace him.  A slow sigh escaped your lips. 
“No, you know that I love you, you know that I’ve always loved you. Tell me I’m wrong” Jonathan demanded calmly, pressing himself up against you, his nose brushing against your cheek. A shudder echoed through your chest as your hands rested against his chest. 
The bacon and eggs were burning, the smoke rapidly building over the stovetop but Jonathan was oblivious to it, or ignoring it. A moan choked out of your throat as he abruptly pressed his thumb against your clit. Your knees buckled and you held onto his shoulders for support. You want this, stop denying it. 
“Jonathan, I’m really confused right now. I want to go home” you squeaked. Blinking hard, you wanted to wake up from this nightmare but the pleasure his thumb brought to you by merely rotating over your sensitive bud was too strong to fight. 
“No, we will sort this out right now” Jonathan snapped back, his patience running thin as he gritted his teeth together, his fingers brushing over your wet folds. 
“Jonathan I need-” he cut you off but gripping onto your chin. 
“You need to listen to me, please” Jonathan hissed, his eyes sharp and nostrils flaring as he slipped a finger inside of your core. “Your thoughts are disordered, I understand how big of a change this is for our relationship but you don’t need to get scared so easily!” Jonathan argued, his breath heavy on your skin as his digit pumped in and out of your canal. 
Moaning out lightly, your head fell onto his shoulder as you felt your nerves spark against each other. It was spine chilling, the satisfaction he seemed to manipulate over your body. Even though this side of Jonathan perturbed you, you couldn’t help but to feel a rush of adrenaline from it. With him being the puppeteer, his strings tangled around your limbs. 
No. 
Snapping back to your proper thoughts, a wave of anger rushed over you. You shoved him away from you, quickly rushing over to take the pan off the flame and flicking the heat off. The smoke stung against your eyes as you stepped away from Jonathan, but he strided back over to you. 
“I don’t want to be here” you admitted, wrapping your arms across your chest, a single tear slipping down your heated cheek. 
“Please just listen to me!” Jonathan roared, smacking his palm on the counter beside you. 
Naturally you flinched at the action as Jonathan tried to keep his composure. Never have you seen Jonathan look so unhinged, his stability with his emotions have flown out the window as he was panting from anger. The gnashing of teeth frightened you as his nostrils were flaring like a bull. 
The egotistical Jonathan Crane was meeting his match, the rejection of you. He was able to handle it once, but not this time. Not after he had done everything for you, to have you. 
“You’re not thinking of Anthony are you? He left you, remember! And who was the person you came running to? Who’s here now?” Jonathan snarled the questions, his tone dripping of irritation as he lent closer to you, daring you to make the next move. “Tell me darling, who did you call?” He begged sarcastically. 
“Stop it. You’re being mean” you whimpered lightly, gulping to yourself when you saw his left eye twitch. 
“Oh, I’m being mean now? I’m merely being honest” he chuckled, but you failed to find humor in it. “It’s time to be real sweetheart, I am the man that knows you fully. I am the only one that is able to take care of you. I’m the one that would do anything for you, has done everything for you! No one else has gone to the lengths I have, you have to understand that!” Jonathan bellowed, his chest rising and falling as all of his muscles were tensing, his arms waving around in match to his emotions. 
His ocean blue eyes turned into a tsunami with the rage of his feelings at peak. A trembling lower lip as a result of his frustrations. The usual pale skin was replaced with a shade of red from his blood boiling.  
“What are you going on about!” You cried back, your shoulders turning inwards. 
The fear in your eyes conflicted with Jonathan's thoughts. It was fuel to his rage of fire, it turned him on, but it also made his body feel weak. Merely wanting to whisper soft words into your ear, promise you that everything is going to be okay, apologize deeply for scaring you. But his unleashed fury clouded his judgments, purely focused on groundless actions. 
“What don’t I have that you need!” Jonathan yelled, his face red beat from his lack of control over himself and the situation. 
He was confusing you, he was doing it on purpose to gaslight you, he had to have been. The idea to leave you defenseless and at his whim, because only he would be able to make you feel better. This is how it always happened, Jonathan was always the one that made you feel at ease. There had to be no other possibility besides a ploy to make you beg for him.  
“Johnny…” You begged, your lips trembling as you lightly pressed your hand against his forearm. 
Slowly, he looked down to your touch, feeling it all too intensely. Jonathan huffed and closed the distance, his hands gripped onto the sides of your face as he leant in to kiss you. You mumbled against his mouth, lips glued shut as his tongue tried to push through. He smacked you rear surprisingly, your mouth naturally opening in shock. Your hands pushed against his chest but he wouldn’t budge, his tongue deep down your throat. Caressing your back with his smooth hands, you felt your body weaken underneath him, a blocked moan vibrating against his mouth. 
It felt good, too good. Naturally, your tongue danced with his. Your body turning into jelly simultaneously to your mind dissolving into mush. Both of your sensations were heightened, as you could feel the wet patch in your underwear and his heat press firmly against your waist.
Stop it!
With a sudden forceful shove, you successfully pushed him away from you. Following up with a slap that echoed throughout the house. When Jonathan tried to lean towards you again, you repeated your assault until he backed off. 
“I don’t fucking love you so just get over me!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. “You’re such a fucking creep!” you continued your rage, your vision blurry, body shaking like a tree in the wind. 
A very long beat. With Jonathan standing still, his hand pressed against his stinging cheek. 
By the look in his eyes, you were dead meat. It was as if he was debating on the perfect way to kill you, painfully, slowly. But it also looked like betrayal, as if he couldn’t believe your actions. 
Within a blink of the eye, your face is caught in between his hands. It’s hard to tell if he wanted to snap your neck or kiss you passionately, roughly again. There was a moment of him purely huffing and puffing as his grip on your jaw remained like an iron grip. Your hands wrapped around his. 
“I-I’m sorry” you whimpered, a sudden wave of realization crashing over you. You’ve never hit him, you’ve never hit anyone before. What was wrong with you? Jonathan sighed, closing his eyes to hide his glistering sea orbs. 
It was the perfect example of heartbreak. The emotional distress was as visible as daylight over his face. Your unreciprocated love has broken him down. 
“If you don’t wish to be worshiped, that’s on you. I will love you no more” Jonathan concluded, finally letting go of you and stepping back. “I wish you all the best, darling” he farewelled before turning his heel and leaving you all alone. 
“Jonathan, wait!” You called out, your arms wrapped around your chest as he disappeared down the hallway. “Johnny!” You continued, but he didn’t come back. 
You wanted to follow after him, apologize, beg for forgiveness. Yet you were stuck on your feet. Quietly sobbing to yourself, you shamefully picked up your bag from the coffee table and wandered towards the front door. 
Was this the right decision? Regardless, his actions were inexcusable, weren’t they? You never wanted to be with him. But you knew that he loved you. You’ve shamelessly led him on for years, keep him by your side for your own selfish reasons. He was your shoulder to lean on. It was like a timebomb, ticking down until this moment happened, your fuck up. You’ve ruined it with him. Your words felt like a massive lie. You didn’t love him, right? It felt like you didn’t know anything anymore. 
Sitting in your car, you considered going back in, dropping onto your knees to say how sorry you were. But you found yourself driving far away from him. Driving aimlessly for a while, until you eventually returned home, locking yourself in with nothing but your own thoughts on what has occurred in such a short period of time. 
Weeks went by with no contact with Jonathan. Everytime you called, it rang out to voicemail. Every message you sent him, remained unanswered. He was sticking to his word, he would love you no more, and it was breaking your heart.  
-
The sensation of his hot lips on your skin felt fictitious. It should have been painful, the way your nails were digging into the flesh of his back, but there was this euphoric yet menacing smile on his lips as he thrusted completely inside of you. It sounded like a melody, you moaning his name in ecstasy repetitively. He would return the melody with grumbles and groans as you felt his cock twitch deep within you. 
“Oh Jonathan!” you cried out, holding onto him for dear life, nails digging into his skin like you were going to fall to your death. Swiftly, he pinned your hands onto the bed, pounding into your canal as if all human life depended on it. Panting your name back to you, the pair of you molded as one as you reached your climaxes. 
“I love you baby” he cried out, his hands locking yours to the bed as if you were going to slip away from his grasp, his sight. 
“I love you more” you returned the confession, smiling widely through the pleasure and ecstasy that his presence gave you. Jonathan’s mouth was wide open in elation, it looked as if he could eat you whole. 
Your eyes snapped open, your upper body shooting up into a sitting position on your mattress just as quick. It took a long time to get your panting under control in the cold darkness. There was this grumble in your throat, as your hand slipped down your heated, sweaty skin. The feeling of the slippery, moist fluid wetted your fingertips underneath your clothing made you moan. 
As you fell back onto the bed, you stared at the ceiling, replaying your dream like you were in a cinema. It felt so real, it felt so out of this world. You took in a deep breath, your dry hand feeling your jaw, traveling down your chest as you tried to scrutinize your dream. 
Saying that you missed Jonathan was an understatement. Expressing how sorry you were and guilty you felt just didn’t have enough words in the english vocabulary. You wanted him, but in what way? Confusement clouded your judgment, mind and emotions. Maybe you were wrong, about him being the wrong man for you, you really didn't know. All you knew was that his anger was justified and his look of heartbreak managed to have a large ripple effect onto your own heart, perhaps even larger than his. 
There was nothing more that you wanted to do besides hold him. Possibly you were just lonely, knowing that your safe bet was gone now made you feel unloved. But you deserved to be exactly that, alone, forsaken, outcasted by the one that would do anything for you. You never thought about Anthony anymore, it was like he never even existed. Jonathan was the one that was always on your mind, and it made you feel nervous. 
Did you love him? Though you knew his love for you wasn’t in perfect good health. But it was flourishing, passionate, blooming and warm. Maybe you were incorrect, read it all from the wrong point of you. Or you were just up yourself, eager for the heart of a heartless man. 
But those words he said to you. Those controlling, obsessive, possessive words he growled, like a beast. Yet, at the end of the day, Jonathan Crane was just a boy, hopelessly wanting the returned affection of you. You’ve helped fix people before, what difference would he be? 
You were the one that was quick to jump, to slam that door without seeing it through. You reacted without thinking. You chose this. There was no sympathy for you, it was the consequences of your own actions. 
If you could build up the courage, in the morning you’d call him again, and if he didn’t answer you’d go to him for the first time. To apologize, to beg for forgiveness, to confess that you loved him, in the odd yet truthful way. Then you’d pray that he would forgive you, take you back, have you completely.  
You slipped out of your bed, and wandered down the dark hallway to your kitchen, flicking on the light as you yawned. Looking out the floor length windows, you saw the wind dance rapidly through the tree leafs, the vibrations echoing over the glass. 
12:37 the clock read. 
On your tippy toes, you reached into the cupboard for a glass, it clinked as you placed it on the bench. Opening the fridge you grabbed onto the glass water jug when you heard a faint footstep behind you. The next event all happened too quickly, your body reacted before your mind could deconstruct what was occurring. 
The glass shattered across the tiled floor as you gasped out. Fight or flight kicked in. You dodged the hands, shoving the masked man away from you in a desperate plea to bolt for freedom. His body crashed into the counter, echoing a large groan from him. Scattering on your bare feet, your foot slipped on the slippery tiles as you cried out at the pain on your knee smacking on the tile. Then you were suddenly pulled back up by his arm around your waist, your arms flung over the counter top, wiping out everything on display as you tried to grab onto anything to pull away from him.  
Before you could scan your next possibility to safety, you gasped heavily, inhaling the drug he jetted at your mouth. You wheezed, your body immediately freezing like stone into place, your heart pounding against your ribcage like a dog begging to be released out of its kennel, your skin crawling from the inside as if it’s suffocating. All you wanted to do was cry out, but you were even too fearful to do that. 
The masked man stood in front of you as he straightened his posture, patting down his black crew neck shirt, your vision was dark and blurred as you looked down to the ground. His hand tapped your cheek harshly a couple of times and you slowly looked up to him in terror. 
The scream that ran up your throat was piercing. It echoed through the walls, cut at your throat like razor blades. You wanted to run for your life, but your feet were glued to the floor in horror. You saw a demon and his hideous face with eyes as dark as coal. 
The man pressed his body up against yours, pushing your back into the counter, you cried out in pain and fear before his hand roughly slapped over your mouth. His groans sound demonic, as his paws run up and down your skin, his claws looped into the fabrics of your clothes and ripped them. Muffling your cries, you trembled underneath him. 
Flipping your body around, he pushed your chest into the cold benchtop, your hands shot above your head and latched onto the opposing edge of the bench. His fingers ran up your covered region, quickly following through by yanking down your shorts and underwear together. Your sticky folds are fondled by his cold fingers. 
“You cannot possibly be this wet” His diabolic voice spoke. It was uncertain if he had a voice modifier underneath his mask or if it was effects of the drugs you had ingested, potentially both. “Am I fulfilling a fantasy of yours, little one?” He condescended, rubbing your right cheek slowly. 
You wanted to snap back, hiss at him for getting the wrong interpretation. It felt so humiliating to have your attacker believe that he made you this wet. But all you could do was lay there in fear, unable to comprehend for the hell he was going to unleash on you. 
“Oh, little one” he sighed, unbuckling his belt. It was torture, how he was taking his time, purely admiring you, enjoying this moment as you sobbed silently. His covered erection pressed against your gushing entrance and you mewled as he slowly humped against you. Then he slid down his covers, the tip of his member kissed against your core and you weep out loud. 
“Hey…” He grunted, his fingernails digging into your bare ass. “Don’t be afraid, I’m going to take care of you, okay?” He vowed, if his voice didn’t sound so sinister, you’d notice that he was concerned for your wellbeing. Yet it seemed that you had different ideologies on what taking care meant. After a few moments of him watching you sob, he began to push himself inside of your canal. His growl echoed down your eardrums as you gasped at the sensation. “That’s it, that’s a good little whore, taking me fully” he spoke slowly, burying himself deep inside of you. 
It was traumatizing, the way that your cunt was naturally squeezing around him, the arousal that vibrated over your skin, how there was this pit of pleasure building up in your core. There was no control from you, no matter how badly you wanted to keep your mouth shut, you were echoing your moans throughout the room. 
He moaned out in return as he began to pick up his speed. “Oh yes, I’m positive I am fulfilling a fantasy of yours… Am I doing a good job?” He toyed, slapping your ass with one hand and holding your hip in place with the other. 
Taking care of you was a lie, he was hurting you. The sensation of your skin felt like it was on fire, his cock felt like a dagger. So how were you so aroused right now? It was the drug. It had to be the drug, This was not a guilty fantasy of yours and this certainly wasn’t fulfilling your enjoyment. Yet, you were enjoying it technically, the physical response to erotic stimulus. That’s all it was, reflexes. The intoxication has messed with your cognitive response, your mind was currently relying on your physical reactions. 
The first wave felt like a tsunami over your body, it ached with how strong your orgasm was. Your nerves jabbing viciously at you. Crying out, the man grunted, refusing to slow down his pace as you shamefully rode out your high on him. Smugly, he praised you for being such a good obedient whore. Shortly after that, the second wave came crashing down on your body. Making him smirk underneath the mask. 
“I wish I could know what was going on in that little mind of yours, would you please tell me?” He coyed, pounding in you like a rabbit. How did he sound so content? You were hardly able to breathe the way his balls were slapping against your clit. 
“N-no” you whimpered out, shutting your eyes tight. 
“Oh come on! Tell me how it feels, or I’ll give you a reason not to fucking talk” He growled, hitting your cervix, over and over again. 
“Uhhh! How-how” you stuttered out your cries. 
“Talk little one, spit out those lovely words” He ordered, grunting at the sensation of your canal. 
“How good you feel inside of me” you sobbed. The embarrassment and humiliation felt like a tidal wave over your emotions. His hand rubbed against your flushed rear skin to praise you. 
“Really? Want me to come back again tomorrow night? Or you want me to just stay the night? Maybe you want me to steal you away” he toyed, still thrusting in and out of you at a brutal pace. 
“No! No! No!” you begged, shaking your head at the idea. 
Jonathan. He came to your mind, you wanted him to save you, to protect you. Just like how you knew he always would. Oh how you wanted him to come for you!
“Jo-Johnny” you mewled, eyes stinging in pain as you silently begged for Jonathan to come for you. 
The man paused for a moment, deep inside of you. You gasped out in relief. “What was that little one?” He asked softly, holding your hips in place as you clenched around him. 
“Johnny” you repeat yourself, sobbing at the thought of him. 
Sobbing at the thought of how you hurt him, of how he wanted nothing to do with you anymore. From how you broke his heart, ruined everything between you two. 
“Johnny, huh?” He snorted as he started to pick up his speed again. 
 “Jonathan!” You cried, but he wasn’t going to save you, no matter how hard you wanted to believe otherwise. 
“Who’s Jonathan baby? Your little boyfriend?” He laughed, his nails lightly scratching up and down your outer thigh. By the way your cunt was pulsing against him, he knew you were close again. “Does Jonathan make you feel this good?” He mocked, forcefully flexing his hips to make you choke out. Your whimper sounded like a mix between yes and no. “Speak clearly!” He ordered.��
“Yes!” You answered, your body trembling against the freezing countertop. 
“Maybe we could share you then” He grinned underneath the mask. 
“No!” You begged. 
“Alright, then cry out for him. Cry out for Jonathan to save you!” He commanded, hitting your bundle of nerves over and over again. His balls were slapping against your clit as your moans and cries were garbled together. 
“Jonathan!” you whined, holding onto the counter for dear life as your climax rushed over you. 
It was pure horror, how good your orgasm felt, it was like you were flying. But at the same time it felt like your body was chained to the ground. Your sensitive skin felt like it was being poked at with a million pins as your orgasm flooded out from your core. You wanted it to continue on, but it came to a sudden stop. 
It left your mind in a blur. He pulled out of you, his seed shot all over your heated skin between your thighs. The growl rumbled out of his chest as he roughly kneaded your hip with his free hand, his other hand stroking up and down his length viciously. The both of you remained still for a moment, then he rubbed his hand all over your thighs, coating your flesh with your mixed fluids. Pulling up your bottoms, he leant over you and caressed your cheek from behind with his wet hand, his crotch pressing back against your ass as he inhaled you.
Your fragile body shook underneath him. Silently begging for him to end you of this misery. His words were muffled as his hands trailed all over your body. 
The last thing he said to you sent shivers down your spine. “I’ll see you soon, little one” It felt like he vanished into thin air, his friction against you disappeared, you heard no footsteps nor the door open or close. It was as if he was never there. 
-
Life felt like a trance, as if it was back to normal. Well, whatever normal could be considered anymore. Being an expert in the field of psychology, you never thought you’d be deeply stabbed in the back by the knives of trauma. It was common for psychiatrists to have their own personal issues, to have a line of support. But you couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed, because you knew exactly why these things occurred, yet you couldn’t get rid of the pitch black thoughts and emotions that blinded your vision. The ones that blinded your happiness and confidence. 
It was easier to heal and move on from it, you knew that holding onto it would only do you more harm. There was nothing that could fix it besides yourself, well, and Johnny. That mind of his was truly something else. Jonathan’s alleviation of providing enough treatment for you to mend your trauma worked at ease. It was like he was your lucky charm.
He talked you through it, his voice sounding like a harmony which consoled that nothing was ever your fault. The mediation he gave you helped with your anxiety and panic all too easily. Whenever you were overwhelmed or upset, he held you tightly and reassured you that you would never go through that ever again. 
Gotham City Police Department was as useless as a glass hammer. Not to mention that if someone leaked your name to the public, it would highly likely humiliate your career. So it went unsaid in how the authorities would not be contacted over the incident. Not to mention the process would be so draining, all for another cold case in Gotham City. 
It was easier just to forget it, you had to keep on telling yourself that. Be the strong independent woman you have always strived to be. Countless victims have the same story, you need to stop having so much pity for yourself when you’ve had Jonathan by your side through it all. 
You don’t know how he got in without it triggering. The alarm should have gone off. Maybe one day you could move away from Gotham City, to somewhere free of crime. But like Jonathan would ever agree to you leaving him like that, especially for what he has done for you. You owed him your life, that was a distressing thought of yours whenever it flew over your mind. 
You took personal leave from work for a few weeks, residing at Jonathan’s home where he also tended to work from home a lot more frequently. Doctor Jonathan Crane was a workaholic, but in order to keep your anxiety at bay and yourself comfortable, Jonathan flipped his whole schedule around to suit your needs. A lot of the time you’d be lying on his couch in his home office as he typed away rapidly on his computer. His gaze would frequently lay on you, as you struggled to keep your eyes open, your mind often wandering elsewhere. 
Slowly, you exposed yourself into public settings. At first, you felt like all eyes were on you, your heart was like a drum. Anxiety made you feel like you had cement in your shoes. But Jonathan was right there, by your side for you to hold onto. To support you, to remind you that everything was going to be okay. 
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. 
Life with Jonathan felt dreamy. It seemed unrealistic, for you to heal as quickly as you have. There have been cases where people took years to heal, cases where they never healed. But here you were, sipping on your tea as you lounged carelessly on the couch. You blinked in a dazy state, as you looked at the clock. Jonathan would be arriving home any minute. 
Jonathan declared it would be better if you fully move in with him, you contentedly agreed. He’d empty out his office, turn it into a bedroom for you if you ever insisted. Your home would be a major trigger, and living by yourself would be dangerous to the sake of your mentality. But you were still happy with sleeping in the same bed as Jonathan, just as he was. 
It grew to be the favorite part of your day. Crawling into bed, right straight into his arms. Like a dog running to his master. Sometimes he would read to you. Sometimes he would tell you of potential plans for your future together, little one’s though, like going to see the current ballet production. Sometimes he would just hum a melody until you drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 
Yes, you had fallen hopelessly over for Jonathan. There was nothing holding you back anymore, he has shown you time and time again that he would do anything for you. He has done everything for you. It was time to stop being inconsiderate, he showed you how much he adored you and it was time for you to show it back. 
Jonathan smiled lightly at you as he walked into the lounge room, he dropped his briefcase beside the couch and fell onto the spot next to you. “Hi” you smiled softly, blinking slowly as you repositioned your body on the soft fabric. 
“Hi darling” Jonathan smiled back at you. “Good tea?” He asked, his eyes looking down at the mug and then back up at you. Your head nodded softly as you lifted the mug to your lips. 
“I can make you a cup if you want” you offered, looking over to the kettle in the kitchen. 
He took off his glasses and put them on the coffee table. A part of you wished he got contacts instead, he always looked so much more charming without them on. 
“I’m okay, I still need to look over a few reports. I faxed them to myself so I could do it here instead. I know I told you we’d do something tonight but I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m so behind in my work, I’ll have to make it up to you another night” Jonathan apologized, leaning forward and capturing his head in his hands as he propped his elbows on his thighs. 
Mentally chuckling to yourself, you put the mug down on the coffee table. Leaning over to Jonathan, your arm wrapped around his back as you rested your head on his shoulder. It felt perfect, being with him. It always felt perfect holding onto him. How were you so stupid? To not realize that Jonathan was indeed the perfect match for you? 
He looked so tired, so worn out from the overloading factors in his life. 
“Your body feels so tense Johnny” you pointed out. He hummed, slightly looking over to you. Your hands began to knead into his back and he let out a soft moan. It went on like that for a short time, slowly increasing your kneads. When you said his name almost like you were singing, he straightened his back and completely turned to you. 
Time froze, but yet it all occurred in a snap. 
“I love you” you admitted, a shy smile on your lips. The purest look on your face, there was no deception. This was all real yet it felt like a hallucination.  
It felt right, felt like you were holding it in for so long that you’ve even forgotten about the cage that the truth was locked in. But you stumbled across the lost key and set it free. It soared through the blue sky, nothing could ever latch onto it again.  
“I love you too” Jonathan answered back, turning his lower body so his arms could easily wrap around your back. 
“No… I love you” you repeat yourself, looking him sternly in the eye as you leant closer to him, but not too close. Jonathan chuckled lightly and leant closer to you, your lips inches apart. 
“I know” he replied quietly. 
He waited for you to give him the green light. Sighing softly, you lightly pressed your lips against his, closing his eyes, returning to this dream of yours. 
-
You stirred in your sleep. Whimpering and gasping at the vision of your attacker. The sight of that barbarian. Your eyes shot open as you gasped for air. It felt like you were in space, your head was going to expand twice its size. This still happens sometimes, the nightmares Jonathan and yourself could only control so much. Desperately looking around for Jonathan, you quickly realized the room was empty. “Johnny!” You called out, holding the sheets close to you, the wind howling against the shaking windows. Your body was trembling, eyes stinging in pain. The door was wide open, the hallway light illuminating the entrance as you heard heavy footsteps quickly approaching, you were afraid of who was going to appear. 
Jonathan came into sight in the open door frame only in his pajama pants, Leaning against the wooden frame with a cup of black coffee in his hand. You could still see the steam lingering above the ceramic. But Jonathan scanned your figure immediately and strided towards you. 
“Sorry darling, I couldn’t sleep with all of the wind outside so I just thought I’d do some work” Jonathan explained, approaching you. “Another nightmare?” Jonathan inquired. His question was answered with a small nod. Placing the mug on the bedside table, Jonathan sat next to you, you fell into his arms at the drop of a hat. Gently urging you to tell him off your dream, you took a deep breath. 
“It was just the same dream” you whimpered your answer.  
“You’re safe darling. He won’t get you” He promised, his hand gently resting above yours. 
You knew his words to be true. But it was still so terrifying. 
“Why do I still dream of him?” you whined faintly. 
It was a silly question to ask. But you couldn’t help but to feel so frustrated and stressed when these moments still happened. It made you feel like all of your progress was crashing down onto you. 
“It could be a number of reactions. Your mind is still distressed by it, there’s nothing to be ashamed of from it. PTSD can cause an exaggerated fear response in your dreams. Which makes them feel real, which gets your heart racing and nerves on edge” Jonathan explained, gently petting your hair. “Remember, these moments can still occur, it’s just how you deal with them afterwards that matters. Don’t let these negative thoughts win sweetheart. Do not fret, I am here to take care of you” Jonathan assured, a gentle smile on his lips. 
“Can you stay with me?” You asked softly, staring at him with doe eyes. 
“Of course darling” Jonathan consoled as he laid comfortably into the bed with you. 
His arms pulled you up to his chest, you breathed in his scent, he always smelt like a rich scent of musk and it relaxed you. Jonathan hummed to you, to keep your mind distracted from getting into its thoughts again. Surprisingly, Jonathan drifted off into a deep sleep before you. He rarely fell asleep first, and was always the first one awake. 
Even though you felt safe, secure, protected in his arms. It was difficult not to think back into that night. The fright your attacker gave you when he grabbed you. How quick you ingested the drug. As the toxin rapidly took over, you found yourself frozen in fear. Your body was in shock, trembling excessively, your mind was in a horrific state yet you could hardly murmur out your pleas. How he forced his large size inside of you, making you grumble out as loud as you physically could. 
It all made you feel sick to your stomach. The humiliation of orgasming around his size disgusted you. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you just couldn’t control yourself. You tried to remind yourself about it being a natural response, but how could your body be so turned on in that horrifying situation? The pet name he called you, little one. The way he moaned, a rough fabric covering his face brushing over your flustered skin, praising you for how good you felt through his demonic voice. His hands were awfully smooth, they fondled your skin to make up with how hard he was thrusting inside of you. It felt like an eternity, all you could do was lay there on the cold counter top and pray for him to finish sooner rather than later, yet disgracefully you wanted him to keep on going. You couldn’t tell anyone that. No, you couldn’t wish for that. Don’t let these tricks bring you down again. 
When he did finish, you don’t know how long he stayed there against you, holding onto your body as if he caressed you like you were a lover. It felt like it was everlasting, but also felt like he was never there. When you knew you were alone, you fell to the floor immediately as hyperventilation took control of yourself. You curled up into a ball, too afraid to move, afraid he was going to come back. You sat there for what felt like hours, however it was much shorter than that. 
Jonathan was the only person on your mind. Your hero, your protector, oh how you wanted him to save you! To take you away from this life. Free your mind from this nightmare. Your life depended on him, that much you knew. He was the only one that would ever be able to fix you, to mend you, to cure you from this torment. 
Oh how you wanted to kill this savage, how you wanted Jonathan to kill him for you.  But one thing was for sure. The man wearing a burlap sack with a noose around his neck has scarred you for life.
Taglist:
@red-riding-wood @slut4thebroken @cocacolaovalchair @betty21rose
Tumblr media
338 notes ¡ View notes
cillmurphyslover ¡ 6 days
Text
ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR - PART 1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing - Jonathan Crane x fem!reader
Summary - When you were attacked in your own home, you confined yourself with Jonathan to help you heal. Until you learn a sickening truth that changes everything.
Warnings - extreme NON-CON, dub con, rough sex, drugging, oral, hand job, grinding, manipulation, stalking, controlling.
Word count - 6.9k+
Notes - I've been working on this for a long time and after many rewrites, this is the first of a two part story. This simple idea turned out to be so long that I had to split it up otherwise I would never finish it. Probably the darkest story I've written. Please note story isn't in chronology order. Comments/messages are urged if this even deserves the second part please. And I'm sorry but I hate proof reading.
Tumblr media
For the first time forever, you felt as if you’ve finally recognised your priorities. You wanted Jonathan, you needed Jonathan. In desperate need of your call for help, you visualized screaming his name. Not the authorities, not a knight in shining armor, not a God, it was Jonathan. 
No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop trembling as you remained curled up in a ball in your kitchen. The room was as dark as the deepest corner of a cave and it was as cold as ice on this winter’s night. All of your thoughts didn’t match up with each other as if they were scrambled in a pan like eggs, you struggled to remember where and who you were. 
Hesitantly, you gripped onto the edge of the counter, your knuckles turned white as you pulled your aching body up as your hands searched and patted over the counter top. Feeling the home phone in your shaking hand, the buttons flashed a dim white light, but it was all a blur to you as you dialed the number. Holding the phone to your ear with an unsteady grip, you listened to the phone ring. Praying to any God that he would answer. Right when you thought the call was going to ring out, you heard his breathing on the other end of the line for a brief moment.
Your friendship had recently hit rock bottom with Jonathan, it was your fault, you know it was. You shouldn’t have been drinking in such an emotional state, you shouldn't have dressed the way you did, you shouldn’t have looked at him in that manner. You were selfish, merely wanting somebody’s complete attention. You've always led on Doctor Jonathan Crane, the ruthless misanthrope psychiatrist who had an undying obsession with you. But that night, you foolishly crossed the line you were determined to stay away from.
“What is it?” Jonathan answered, not sounding pleased to be answering a call at this time of the night, or by you, most likely both. But you were so relieved to hear his voice that you couldn’t help but to sob out loud. It felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders yet you never felt more empty. Your voice choked as you attempted to say something, anything. “Darling? What’s wrong?” Jonathan continued, his tone completely switching as he voiced his concern. 
“I- Johnny… I-I” you cried, lost for words. 
Your mind was still fuzzy as you looked down at your body, your pajama shorts ripped in multiple spots and dried fluids all over your flesh. You could hear him begging you to tell him what was wrong, had something happened to you? But you were still too deep in a state of shock and confusion to say anything. No matter how desperately you wanted to beg Jonathan to come save you, all you could do was sob. 
“Calm down, I’m leaving right now sweetheart. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Please stay calm darling” he promised you before hanging up the line. If he could stay on the phone with you, he would.  
As the line went dead, you collapsed back onto the floor, curling back up into a ball as your body trembled in mental and physical distress. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t do as he asked, how could you stay calm after this?
Jonathan used the spare key you gave him to open the door and quickly punched in the security code to your alarm system. Rushing down the dark hallway, he was calling out your name repetitively and flicked on the lights in the kitchen to reveal the heavily intoxicated you. Jonathan rushed to your side and kneeled, your eyes were glued shut from fear, your teeth chattering as he slowly went to touch your shoulder. Startled, you shrieked and flung yourself back, hitting your head on the wooden counter which caused flashing white lines through your darkened sight. 
“Shhhh” Jonathan soothed, pulling your body towards him, embracing you. Your body was as stiff as stone under his. “It’s just me sweetheart. Jonathan, it’s Johnny” he clarified, rubbing your back as he pressed his warm lips to your cold temple. 
Your mind was still unclear with whatever hardcore substance was in your system and you struggled to keep your eyes open. Your skin felt filthy, as if you were drenched in grease. It was difficult to breathe, your chest tight and throat dehydrated. The feeling of agony weighed heavy on you, keeping you locked to the cold tiled floor. You looked at Jonathan with hesitation through teary eyes, not trusting him. 
When you realized it really was him you cried into his chest, letting it all out, holding onto him for dear life. Gently cooling by your ear to help calm you down, Jonathan rocked you back and forth as his eyes wandered around the lit room. He could see the havoc of your kitchen. The utensils spread all over the counter, broken glass and water on the floor.
“I’m here, you’re safe now” Jonathan promised you and despite your disoriented state, you knew his words to be true. 
Doctor Jonathan Crane was an intriguing character. Many would use precise words such as: bumptious, narcissistic, cunning and barbaric when describing him. He was a walking hazard. They’d all warn you to stay away from him, he was expressed as a psychotic genius who lets Hell rain in Arkham Asylum through his experiments for his own intellectual growth. 
To you, he was kind, understanding and never failed to make you feel like the most important person in the room. You cannot lie, your friendship with Jonathan was certainly unconventional. But Jonathan was smitten by you, and you felt tenderness with the idea of always having someone there for you. 
After almost an hour of blubbering on the floor, you laid back in the passenger seat in a dopey state, wrapped up in his coat as he cautiously drove you back to his house, gazing over to you every few seconds. The paranoia of that man, that monster coming back was too overbearing. Jonathan inwardly deemed that he would be able to take better care of you. He never had optimism in others, especially to the care of you. When the engine’s rumbled came to a sudden silence in the garage, Jonathan completely looked over to you, his fingertips brushing over your jawline. He grabbed your small bag in the backseat first, he’d pick up more belongings in the morning. Opening the car door for you, he wrapped his arm around you protectively and picked you off the ground bridal style. 
“Do you have any idea what he gave you sweetheart?” Jonathan projected as he carried you to his bedroom, laying you on the bed. Gently, you shook your head. “Well, you don’t look like you're overdosing…” Jonathan observed, checking your pulse. “But better to be safe than sorry” he murmured. 
Jonathan disappeared and reappeared swiftly, standing by your side with medical equipment. The vital signs were quickly checked. Besides your disorientation and heightened sense of fear, you showed no physical symptoms of an overdose. 
“Any chest pains? Nausea? Abdominal pain?” Jonathan asked slowly and you continued to shake your head. Humming in response, Jonathan searched through his bag and picked out a tablet. “Take this” he instructed. 
But you were skeptical as you squinted your eyes to the small white pill. Jonathan sighed and motioned the pill towards your lips. Your dry lips parted as he slipped the pill into your mouth, followed by the rim of a water bottle to help swallow it down.
“You need a bath, then I’ll make you some tea, okay?” Jonathan told you, caressing your forearm. 
Nodding in agreement, you watched Jonathan slip into the ensuite and you heard the water running, Your body lightly trembled as you closed your eyes and when you opened them again, you were in the bath with Jonathan kneeling beside you as he ran a cloth up and down your now warm skin, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The water had a scent in it, lavender you believed. The steam dancing up into thin air over the water. 
You looked around your surroundings and then down as you saw your exposed body. Your arms instinctively went to cover yourself as your whimpers began to grow. A hush left Jonathan’s lips as his hand intertwined with yours to help calm you. He gave you a stern stare that screamed for you to stay calm. Yet his soft eyes were begging you to trust him, you took a deep breath in and laid your head back. It’s nothing Jonathan hasn’t seen after all. 
Jonathan wrapped the towel around you tightly after he guided you out of the tub, his hands rubbing up and down your shoulders as he walked you into his walk-in wardrobe. He helped you dress into your pajamas, yet the short sleeves and pants made you feel insecure. Your arms wrapped around your body and Jonathan cocked an eyebrow to you. After studying your expression, he pulled out his old university hoodie and slid it over your head. You sighed in relief, the scent of him still strongly on the fabric. 
Trailing after him like a lost puppy to the kitchen, he flicked on the kettle and plucked out an apple from the fruit bowl. Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, he quickly sliced the apple into bite sized pieces and hand fed you bit by bit. 
“It’ll help calm your mind” Jonathan exhaled as he poured the hot water into the herbal tea. The mug was set beside you as he watched you momentarily, waiting for the tea to cool down. 
After a few minutes you took a small sip and breathed out, fresh tears pricking at your strained eyes. Everytime you closed your eyes you could see him, that monster, creature. Shifting your focus directly onto your tea, the two of you stood in silence, Jonathan’s eyes still set on you. The clock read 4:08 as its hands ticked loudly. 
He took your mug as you finished it. “I’ll sleep on the couch” he stated, gently pushing you in the direction of the bedroom. You came to a sudden stop as you turned around to face him. 
“Please don’t… Stay with me” you weakly begged, dreading the idea of being alone. 
Jonathan’s eyes softened as he nodded in agreement and he guided you to the bedroom. He laid you comfortably on the bed and vanished into the walk-in wardrobe, returning in cozy pants and a long sleeve top. You slipped underneath the bed as his blue eyes stalked you, Jonathan slithered onto the bed and underneath the covers like a snake, pulling your fragile body towards his. Your breathing was staggered as laid your head on his firm chest, he left the lamp on, caressing your back as your tired eyes urged you to shut them but you were too afraid of seeing him again. 
After what felt like hours of just laying there, even though it was only a few minutes, your breathing got rougher as the memories began to control your thoughts. Your hand wrapped around his side firmly and Jonathan looked down. 
“Breathe in darling” Jonathan whispered. 
“What?” you frowned, looking up to him. 
“Breath in” he softly smiled, you did as he said. “Now breathe out” he continued on. Breathing out, Jonathan coached you to do it over and over again. 
Your chest relaxed as you laid your head back onto his chest, your tired eyes taking over you as you continued to breathe in and out at a steady pace. He whispered calming thoughts by your ear, he was so good with words.
“That’s a good girl” Jonathan whispered as you fell into a deep slumber, free from fear just for now. 
Tumblr media
You met Jonathan at Gotham University. Everyone on campus despised him, a cocky know it all who’d jump at a debate whenever it raised on the surface. Jonathan was the first in all of his classes, no matter how hard all of the other students tried, he was unbeatable. But you couldn’t help but to be curious with his presence when you’d see him around campus. He was cute, charming if he wore the right clothes, but he was certainly a unique character. Jonathan was passionate, eager and sharp. 
He was in the year above you so you never had a real reason to talk to him. But if you’d walk past him in the hallways you’d greet him, he would never reply back however, hardly acknowledge your existence nevertheless. Yet sometimes you’d look up wherever you were on campus and catch him watching you. Like you were a gazelle in an open field. Usually people would instantly look away after being caught, but he continued to stare, as if he was studying you, dissecting you apart with his ocean blue eyes. 
It wasn’t until your second year when he approached you in the campus gardens, blocking off the sunlight, you looked up to the boy with dark hair. “Is it Professor Dickens or Winston that has you in such a state of distress?” Jonathan questioned you cockily, staring down at you with a sly grin, his hands behind his back. His rectangular framed glasses made him look goofy yet somewhat intimidating. 
After a short silence, you responded with a light chuckle, “Dickens” and Jonathan hummed loudly.  
“Ah, I do not speak from experience. However, many find Professor Dickens to be rather… rigorous” Jonathan replied, leaning over to look at the book you were studying. “I remember that textbook, it was rather unchallenging. What are you struggling with?” Jonathan asked, kneeling down next to you now to look at your jots in your notebook. 
“All of it really” you sighed, furrowing your eyebrows at how he is actually associating himself with you. “I had to leave town for a few days, my grandma was very ill. Professor Dickens didn’t approve of my appeal for an extension” you muttered slightly, feeling a wave of anger at the situation. 
“No issue, I was Professor Dickens star pupil” Jonathan responded, taking your notebook off of you without consent. Jonathan was all of his Professors’ star pupil. “I’ll be sure to make you the next” he grinned at you.
Your peculiar friendship rapidly continued to blossom over the months. Multiple times of the week you’d find yourself residing somewhere hidden on campus with Jonathan, sharing reports, experiments and research with one another. He became your mentor, tutor, inspiration to strive for brilliance in your education. 
Jonathan didn’t seem to be as evil as everyone made him out to be. However, you quickly realized that this behavior was merely reserved towards you. Not that he ever did any romantic gestures towards you. You could just read his eyes like a children’s book. Shamefully, you liked Jonathan, a lot more than you wanted to. Jonathan was a puzzle that you had this urge to try to solve, yet at times the pieces you’d connect together felt sinister which you ignorantly chose to ignore.
To Jonathan’s clear distaste, you were already in a relationship. Daniel was your high school sweetheart, but that relationship quickly went sour as you graduated. If you weren’t so comfortable with him, you would have broken up with him at the first red flag. No one should put up with the abuse and neglect he showed you. Especially with the bad habits he had picked up during your relationship. But you were young and naive, too afraid of what life would look like without him. 
Jonathan became aware of his maltreatment towards you when he noticed a light bruise over your jaw and a horrible excuse as to how it occurred. He knew you were lying by the way your cheeks would turn a few shades darker. This situation was no exception. But he said nothing, surprising with how he was always proud to state his opinion. Jonathan unhappily went along with your little lie to keep you content. 
Then, Daniel disappeared into thin air. Packed up all of his belongings abruptly in the middle of the night and never saw his face again. It wasn’t a surprise really, he had a cocaine issue, most likely made a few bad friends in the dark alleys of Gotham. You weren’t sure he ran away, or if something far sinister had occurred. Nevertheless, it was a shattering experience. But you had Jonathan to lean on for support and you couldn’t be anymore grateful. 
Expectedly shortly after, Jonathan confessed his feelings for you confidently yet emotionlessly. He was extremely understanding when you said that you couldn’t think about seeing people again yet and how you’d hate to ruin your friendship. Because it did mean so much to you. Jonathan only couldn’t resist keeping those thoughts inside of him any longer. Your friendship continued on like normal. 
When Jonathan earned his doctorate, you demanded he’d celebrate with you. As if he even had any other options. You were going to plan him a special night, but he had already beat you to it, he was such a control freak. The night was spent at one of Gotham’s finest restaurants. He wore his finest black suit and you wore a gorgeous bodycon silk green dress. It was the first time you had ever drank with Jonathan, you had a bottle of champagne on ice to share. Traditionally, Jonathan placed his card in the folder and flashed you a grin. It was one of the best nights of your life, living in luxury, gratefully with him. 
“I know I told you no gifts, but there is one thing that I wish from you” Jonathan exhaled as he parked his car outside of your apartment block. He looked over to you slowly and you could feel your heart pound in your chest, your throat tighten as if something had tied rope around it. 
You knew exactly what path he was walking down, this day was bound to pounch back at you again. When else then after an unofficial romantic dinner at one of Gotham’s finest?
“Yes Johnny?” You awkwardly chuckled, the streetlamps illuminating his expression of despair. 
“A kiss” he whispered, his look begging you to agree with him as he straightened his posture. 
“Jonathan” you warned, breaking eye contact immediately. What else should you have expected? It was your typical romantic dinner, he paid the bill, now you had to pay up with a different currency. 
“Just once… Every time I heard students snicker behind my back about how I… Couldn't pull…” Jonathan’s tongue clicked as if a drop of venom fell onto it. “I could never help but to feel embarrassed with them being correct, for once” he continued on, looking away from you in the same. “But yes, I have never had the pleasure of kissing a woman before, especially someone as beautiful as you” Jonathan admitted, sighing dramatically at the embarrassment.  
“Never?” You frowned towards him, feeling slightly guilty. 
As if it wasn’t as clear as day, he never spoke about his natural urges with you. A part of you was convinced that he would come out as asexual one day. It was all so extremely rare for him to get along with others, he would never do a sneaky link, especially during the academic period. No wonder he was always such an asshole to others. 
“Unfortunately my brilliance in psychology doesn’t even out my ill-manners towards others” Jonathan exhaled, biting on his lips at the unfortunate truth. 
Perhaps it was the champagne urging you towards him, but Jonathan just looked so sweet and innocent right now. You couldn’t help but to feel sympathy for him, especially after all he has done for you. 
“One kiss…” you stated, holding up one finger. 
Jonathan gently nodded and leant towards you eagerly, his hands snaked to your back to pull your bodies together. If only you could hear how rapid his heartbeat was. He was hesitant, so you closed the distance and pressed your lips against his. 
Jonathan hummed, his mouth opening ajar for his tongue to slip out, subconsciously you allowed his slippery tongue inside your warm mouth. His hands slowly slid up your back as your tongues danced together in the silent atmosphere. Right as you noticed your body being drawn to him you abruptly pulled yourself away from him. The pair of you silently caught your breath. 
There was a brief moment of silence, your mind still registering how intense of a kiss that was. How strong it felt when it should have felt like nothing. 
“Thank you darling” Jonathan smiled as he leaned back into his seat, but his hand danced over yours and you allowed him to. 
“We need to find you a hooker to get you laid” you laughed, playfully smacking his hand. 
If your studies didn’t teach you much of manipulation, Jonathan sure did. He was a puppeteer, you’d never want him to attach strings to you. Considering how afraid you were of getting his claws on you, you seemed to forget the leash you had on Jonathan. He’d do anything for you, you’d be lying if you said that you’ve never taken advantage of that. But at the end of the day, your relationship with Jonathan was simple and fundamental. To his dismay, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Tumblr media
There was this unwritten debt between Jonathan and yourself. He gave you favor after favor without hesitation over the years accompanied by a toothy grin. Jonathan continued to mentor you in your last year of university despite having a demanding full time profession. Landed you an interview at Arkham Asylum when you were in desperate need of a job. It was only temporary to be in the forensic psychiatric department, working with the criminally insane just wasn’t your ideal workplace unlike Jonathan’s. You were much more interested in neuropsychiatry. He gave you an excellent reference for your current job. Realistically, you shouldn’t have gotten the job with a salary that good, but he made it work. Jonathan has been your rock for years, you egocentrically seemed to forget how much you really did depend on him. 
It made you feel like a horrible person, but he was already clingy enough with you, not that you seemed to complain, you enjoyed the company. You’d talk most days despite your busy schedules. The pair of you would spend the majority of your free days together by exploring museums, watching theater performances or going out for a lovely meal. The blind eye would assume the pair of you were a couple, sometimes you even wondered if you were. 
Jonathan hated it when you hung out with others, especially if you didn’t tell him prior. A foul word never slipped his mouth, but you could hear it all in his tone, if not see it in his stern expression. Sometimes you’d tell him of your dates just to get him to back off every once in a while. Doctor Jonathan Crane was a jealous man around you, because he couldn’t have you the way he wanted to. A part of you grew to find it stimulating over the course, because he had no control in the situation. 
Yet your love life was hopeless. The vitality of your sex life purely depended on one night stands after a drunken night out. Whenever you were asked on a date, he’d ghost you before the second date. So you gave up on dating for a long time, focusing on your work instead. At the end of some nights with an empty bottle of wine, you’d think of Jonathan, the potential there was with him. But you would always feel your stomach turn, or throat tighten at the thought of being completely his. 
But then, you unexpectedly fell for your new coworker Anthony Gray. Anthony was a total catch, confident, charming, respected, physically built and loving. There was this instant spark that neither of you wanted to deny, eager to pounce on the sensation. Within the workplace you found yourself sneaking around with him, kissing him, touching him, feeling him inside of you. The workplace had a conflict of interest policy, let alone a no fucking on the job policy. The two of you kept your affair hidden, there were eyes everywhere in Gotham and you’d be stupid to get fired over having dinner in the wrong place. If it wasn’t in the building, you’d be at one or another’s house. It was a thrilling sensation to keep your relationship a secret from everyone in Gotham, including Jonathan, but the pair of you were figuring out how to make it work publicly. 
Telling Jonathan of your little love affair was the least of your priorities even though the relationship was growing more stable by the day. Even though you never gave him any hints of mutual affection, he seemed to be eternally entranced by you. Patiently waiting for the opportunity to have you, claim you, own you.
Unknowingly, well slightly knowingly, you distanced yourself from Jonathan. Only by missing a few phone calls from him and sounding distracted over the phone when you did answer. Typically, Jonathan picked up on this unusual behavior within a snap. Suddenly showing up on your doorstep one day as if to catch you out, with a loaf of bread in his hands. 
“Oh, Johnny! What brings you here?” You chuckled, looking him up and down. 
“It had been a while, so I thought I’d surprise you. Grabbed it from that market place we use to go to every weekend” he answered, heavily emphasizing on the words ‘use to’. 
After an awkward moment of silence, you took a step back and gestured to him to come inside, he took your offer instantly. 
“So, what have you been up to?” Jonathan asked, his tone making it sound like a demanding question. 
“Just working really, going out a few times” you replied, hoping the lie will lead him down the wrong path as you pulled out the bread knife from the block. Jonathan hummed as he dropped the bread onto the cutting board, almost in a forceful manner. You turned back to him, frowning as you tried to read his emotion. 
You’d think with your doctorate in psychiatry you’d be able to completely read him right now, but in moments like this, he was a wolf hidden amongst the trees.
“Everything okay Johnny?” You murmured. 
There was a low groan that left his lips, his eyes twitching slightly as he debated to say what he really wanted to say. “Just backed up with a lot of paperwork” Jonathan eventually answered, spinning on his heel to pull the butter out from the fridge.  
You weren’t ready to shatter his heart into millions of pieces, not yet. Especially in such an isolated setting, it made you feel anxious to the core. Just a few more weeks, of peace, of zen with Anthony. Then you’d break the news to Jonathan, perhaps your friendship too, and most certainly his heart. 
You brought Anthony over to your house the next day, unaware of a lingering figure across the street who’s knuckles turned white and teeth gritted together. 
Tumblr media
After a few slow knocks, you lowered your head as you waited patiently for the door to open. You look down at your dress again, you had changed your clothes multiple times. Everything you put on made you feel ugly and insecure. The door swung open, Jonathan gave you a sympathetic look as he gestured you to come inside. His hands briefly rested on your shoulder as he took off your coat, revealing your simple yet elegant black dress. Leading you to the living room, you sat on the space gray couch, eyes looking over the small cheese board. 
Jonathan wandered off to the kitchen, his back turned to you as he picked up two wine glasses and a fine bottle of shiraz. The sound of the dark red substance gracefully falling into the glass filled your ears as you played with the rim of your dress. 
“So, how are you feeling?” Jonathan asked softly, standing tall as he held out your glass. 
“Like shit” you mumbled, accepting the glass without hesitation and downing half of it within one big chug. Jonathan snorted lightly as he sat down next to you. 
“Darling, darling, darling” he sighed, his lips resting on the rim of the glass. You rolled your eyes at his lecture like tone and expression. Feeling like he was going to scold you like a child. “You should have had me meet him first, for a third party perspective and opinion” Jonathan continued on after he took a sip. 
“Didn’t realize this was mediation Jonathan” you gritted your teeth. 
When Anthony didn’t show up to work one day, you found it extremely odd. Presuming that he would have contacted you if he wasn’t going to be showing up. You had messaged him a couple of times during the day but they were all left on delivered. It wasn’t until you got home from a tiring day's work that you saw the letter in your mailbox. By the time you got to his house, everything looked to have been moved out through the open blinds. 
“I’m sorry darling, I am” Jonathan swore. 
It was an opposing response from Jonathan. Yes, he was sorry with how negative you were feeling, but he couldn’t help but to feel happy at the outcome of your relationship. His fingertips brushed over your bare knee as you finished the glass, motioning the empty glass towards Jonathan for a refill. 
He chuckled lightly and took the glass from you. The taste of grapes lingered on your tongue as you waited for his return. The glass was almost filled to the rim. Jonathan wasn’t much of a drinker, he always claimed how alcohol could kill his intellectual potential. But on nights like these, he made an exception for you. 
When you were three drinks in, your thoughts and emotions came to light, just as Jonathan predicted. “I just-” you slurred, fingers trailing over the rim of the glass. Your eyes watered at the thought of Anthony and how he left you without proper closure. You blinked hard, the wine hitting you much harder than predicted, perhaps that’s what happens when you’ve hardly eaten all week. “Don’t understand” you eventually finished your sentence in a mumble as Jonathan returned with your fourth glass of wine. “He told me he was fixing things with his ex, moving across the country to be with her. I didn't even know about her…” You sighed loudly, feeling your eyes prickle and swell up. 
“He’s a moron who cannot appreciate beauty, what else do I need to say darling?” Jonathan cocked an eyebrow to you, swirling the remaining drops of wine in his glass. 
You felt dizzy, your thoughts were slightly disoriented as you hummed longly in return. There was a gentle sway in your body, as your tongue poked into the wine. Jonathan finished his wine and placed it on the coffee table with a clink. 
Leaning closer to you, your heartbeat picked up and you could feel jittery over your skin. Were his eyes always that captivating blue? Your stomach turned, in a good way, a way you’ve forgotten about for so long.
“You deserve to be treated so much better” Jonathan confessed through a sigh, his arm snaking behind your back to pull you closer to him. 
Of the few times you’ve drunken with Jonathan, he has never been this touchy. Yet, you couldn’t help but to feel a new sensation of this. 
“I know, I’ll get over it eventually” you responded, avoiding eye contact with him. Yet you couldn’t help but to enjoy the warmth and security of his arm around your body. 
“Do you know how a man should treat you?” Jonathan murmured, a small sly grin on his lips. 
“How?” You frowned towards him in a growing blurry vision, unknowingly leaning closer to him. 
“Worshiped every day, body, mind and soul” he answered calmly, his eyes slowly examining your body. 
“You don’t mean that” you lightly scoffed, bringing the drink back to your lips to distract yourself, as if that will do any help. 
When you put the glass down on the coffee table, Jonathan took your chin in his hand. Staring at one another, you waited for him to make a move, but he just admired you, his lips ajar open as his thumb rolled circles over your soft skin. 
“I do” Jonathan vowed. Your head felt unfocused, your body felt like it was floating. This was like you were in a dream. “I can treat you so much better. I will treat you so much better” Jonathan corrected himself, now gripping onto your inner thigh instead of your chin. “Just give me a chance to show you how you deserve to be loved” Jonathan pleaded, pressing his forehead against yours. “Please” he begged softly, waiting for you to open the door for him. Your face turned away at his words, at his pleading. 
On any other night, you probably would have ran for the hills. But tonight, you desperately wanted to get Anthony out of your mind. It felt contradicting with how right and wrong it felt. But it didn’t phase you what would happen tomorrow, you wanted Jonathan right now. 
There was no response from you, Jonathan took that as his que to guide your face to directly look at him so he could kiss you. It surprised you with how soft his lips were, the way he hummed softly as he gently pushed his tongue into your warm mouth. After a quick stiff moment, your stance relaxed and you leaned closer to him. Your arms naturally wrapped around his shoulders to pull him closer to you. Jonathan groaned into your mouth, his hand pulled your hips over to straddle his lap. 
It felt so wrong, but he was so skillful with that tongue of his. Your logic was imprisoned by your sensations right now. Soft hands running up and down your heated skin, you couldn’t resist but to moan back into his mouth. Your cunt was aching for him so you non controllingly began rocking over his already formed boner. He nibbled at your neck, causing you to giggle as you grind over him in an unsteady motion. 
You lifted your hips up slightly as your hand brushed down his torso, Jonathan’s head fell back as he watched you, his mouth open. There was a slow moan from him as your hand cupped his crotch, Jonathan grinned widely, his own hands slipping down to unbutton his trousers. Quickly, your hand slipped underneath his underwear and you were stroking his firm size slowly. 
“Let me take you to the bedroom” Jonathan pleaded and you hummed in a daze like state. 
Jonathan picked you up and impatiently carried you to his bedroom. Giggling like a child over his shoulder, Jonathan laid you onto his bed, your flats falling off in the process. He straddled you down just as quick. The lamp was already on so you took a good look at his expression. 
An animal. That’s what you saw initially despite your heavily drunken state. A predator who was ready to attack his prey and you were helpless right now, the back of your mind was hoping that you’d just sink into the bed to get away from him. 
He wasn’t as gentle as you’d hope him to be as his soft hands groped your body. “What are you doing?” You murmured, as he slid down your body, his knees landing on the floor. 
There was no response from him except a groan. He pulled your hips forward and scrunched your dress up. It felt like fireworks exploding up your skin, the way his fingers trailed over you. Jonathan pulled your thong off of your legs, kissing your inner calf afterwards. 
“Wait…” you objected, common sense trying to snap you out of this trance, but he ignored you. 
“Waited so long for this, so, so long” Jonathan moaned, crawling up your lower body until his breath reached your bare cunt. 
Kissing your inner thigh, Jonathan looked at you, just wanting to take your nervous expression in for a moment. He placed your legs over his shoulders as his tongue slithered over your core. Your abdomen tensed and legs tightened around his head. His tongue zigzagged over sensitive skin, causing a rather loud yelp of pleasure. It was humiliating with how fucking good he could use that tongue of his. 
Your growing orgasm built on your tummy as his tongue slipped inside your sweet hole. Your fingers gripped into his hair to pull his head away, it was just all so much, you felt like you were blacking out. But Jonathan’s head was stuck in your cunt like it was glued. He was lapping you up as if he was starving, his left thumb found its way to your clit and rubbed desperately to make you release. 
“Jonathan” you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. 
Jonathan only moaned in response, his mouth full of your sweet substance. You tried to hold it off, but failed miserably, coming all over Jonathan’s face without warning, your hips rocking in rhythm with your orgasm. However, Jonathan greedily ate you all up, quickly climbing on top of your body. He swiftly pulled your dress off over your head and his hands trailed over your breasts. A small laugh left his lips as he ripped off your nipple covers, his crotch pressed into your abdominal.  
Jonathan smiled wickedly to you and even though you were still in your post orgasmic daze, you could see the craze in his eyes. But you were too intoxicated and horny to scrutinize him. Your arms reached out to pull him closer to you. With his smaller size, you didn’t expect his back to feel so firm. Kissing each other hungary, Jonathan’s hands quickly tried to undo his trousers. 
His hips flexed back as he pulled out his size. Your lips separated as he stroked himself a few times, looking down to your entrance. Even though your vision was blurry, you could see how big he was crystal clear. You gulped heavily as Jonathan hovered back over you with his tip pressed against your entrance. Jonathan gave you a soft kiss on the lips as he began to thrust in.
“Oh! you feel like heaven. I have found paradise…” Jonathan declared through moans. He was most definitely the largest you’ve ever had. It was hurting more than pleasuring, but you were so wet. “Your cunt wraps perfectly around my cock darling” he praised, his hand brushing over your flustered jaw. 
“It’s hurting” you whimpered, your body stiff underneath his. Jonathan blinked a couple of times but didn’t respond. 
“You’re mine, all mine. Always have been, always will be” Jonathan grunted as he fully pushed himself inside of you. Your walls squeezed around his cock as you grumbled in agony. “You’ve finally come to realize” he exhaled, his hand brushing the side of your face as the pleasure slowly overthrew the pain. 
His words seemed to have sobered you up. This is exactly what you were afraid of, this turning into ownership. Jonathan could see the glimpse of horror in your eyes, he smiled widely as he gradually picked up his speed as your canal adjusted to his size. 
You wanted to throw him off of you. But your mind was so engaged in your physical sensations and drowsiness of the alcohol that you could only lay back and guiltily enjoy yourself, expressing how satisfied you were by your moans. 
“Jerked off to the thought of you every single fucking night” Jonathan grumbled out, his nails digging into your flesh. “Such fucking torture” he spat. 
Jonathan pushed your thighs apart as his cock traveled in deeper, groaning like crazy as his balls were slapping against your skin. His grip on your upper thighs will probably bruise by the morning. The mixture of both of your moans was heaven to his ears. You’ve never seen Jonathan smile so much, he couldn’t wipe it if he wanted to. 
He also seemed to refuse to break eye contact with you, as if he was studying you or was afraid you’d run away if out of sight. His nostrils were flared and jaw clenched as he continued his pleasure-filled attack. You were pulsing around his size, his breathing seemed to stagger, pace losing its rhythm. 
“Come on darling, one more time… I know you can be a good girl, come so I can” Jonathan moaned. 
You can’t tell if it was a beg or a demand. His words were so gentle, but that look in his eyes was as if hell would break loose if you failed to comply. Regardless, you did as he asked, clenching as tight as you could around him as you cried out, your back aching as you swore you could see stars. Jonathan quickly followed, falling completely on top of you as his arms quickly snaked around you. 
He kissed you passionately as he pumped his seed deep inside of you. When his lips pulled away from yours, he was moaning your name over and over. A wave of exhaustion crashed over you. Your eyes felt so drowsy, all of your energy completely drained dry. Jonathan caressed your cheek as your sight was quickly consumed by darkness. 
What have you done?
Tumblr media
675 notes ¡ View notes