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Minsan gusto ko na ‘lang sumigaw kapag nakikita ko mga notifications ko from Messenger. Alam niyo ‘yung pakiramdam na kaya naman nilang gawin mag-isa pero ipapagawa pa rin sa’yo? 🙃 So instead na nagpapahinga ka (kasi halos isang taon ka ring beck and call ng lahat), may kailangan ka pang tapusin na hindi mo naman na dapat problema. 🤩
Problema ng lahat, nagiging problema ko.
Problema ko, problema ko lang din dapat.
Baka kasalanan ko rin kasi hindi ako nag-set ng boundaries before. I meant well when I helped them, but I didn’t realise it only made them depend on me every fucking time they need some shit done.
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Came across this other account I used as my diary way back in high school, college, and my early years as we moved to a different country. I probably wasted 2 hours just reading through all the rants—I even took screenshots back then (as a sigurista) of old conversations and photos I forgot existed.
Those things mattered a lot at the time, and I know the old Charle wrote and wrote until the wee hours of the morning just so she can take them off of her mind and forget about them completely. The thoughts and words were hard to contain—even the tears—and she wanted them to be in a place she can always go back to if needed.
She had to juggle a lot of things during those years. And sadly, she still continues to do so in the present.
I remember this being my safest place to talk about my thoughts, and I can’t help but think of how much I did and did not change over the years.
I have changed in some aspects, but I noticed I still am the very same kid who craves to be appreciated and acknowledged and loved. I am disappointed to say that there are still no developments in that area. 😆
A lot can happen in 8 years. Damn, 2015 seems like a few limetimes ago.
The Charle that I know from 8 years ago have always asked the right questions though, and they continue to be relevant up to this day.
“Why am I so hard on myself?”
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But the thing is, I don’t know how to not miss you.
You are in my mind when I wake up, and before I lay down to sleep (when I can).
I think of you even on my busiest hour at work.
I miss you even more as I’m stuck in traffic for almost 2 hours because your soothing voice calms me down.
You have been nothing but supportive with everything that I do.
And yet, I hurt you.
I made a mistake by letting you go.
But I know you don’t want me anymore, and that is something I have to live with.
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I may have past issues I haven’t made peace with yet. But you have to know that I am not the only one to blame on how we ended.
You and your inconsistent stories + my “narcissistic”traumatised ass aren’t a good mix.
I know I never lacked in reminding you that I am not yet ready.
I am still healing, just like you are.
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My heart broke when I saw something from our early days, and it was about a person you’ve been with. You swore you never made any interaction with her for years, but you did.
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Hello. Saw your posts and ang ganda ng boses mo plus ang galing mo pa mag play ng piano. 🙂 You’re amazing! 😊 Hope you have a great day! 🌻
Hi! 😊 Sorry it took a while, but thank you so much! 🤍 Kilig! Hahaha. I saw your posts too and I genuinely hope you are okay. Kapit lang! 🤍
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Just a quick snap before heading to this pancake place we’ve been obsessing over in the last few weeks.
Thank God winter will be over soon.
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Hi, nagtatagalog ka po pala? Thank you for noticing me, pwede ka po ba tanungin if kumain ka na
Secret HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE 🤪🤪🤪🤪 HIIIIIIIIIII
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“There are desires we haven’t named yet, loves so impossible they have to be true.”
— Richard Jackson, from “Incompleteness,” The Heart as Framed: New and Selected Poems (Press 53, 2022)
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“I’m numb and I’m tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I’d been out in a pounding rain for forty-eight hours without an umbrella or a coat. I’m soaked to the skin with emotion.”
— Ray Bradbury
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Chrissy Wilson, From Rainy Car, Jefferson Street, 25 May 2022
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It feels like I’m being pulled into a hundred different directions.
Slow down, self. You’ve done enough today.
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I was going through my phone as I have to import 15,000+ photos and videos to my hard drive to make space for more happy memories (and regrets) and I saw this gem.
I’m pretty sure this was the last time I played this song and that was almost 3 years ago. Sad to say time flies, too, even when you’re barely having fun. 😆
Dumping this here cause Coldplay was and still IS correct. No one ever said it will be this hard. 🤸🏻♀️
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I remember being gutted about the life I’m leaving behind and being scared of the future.
I still wonder what might have been if we stayed.
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Sweetie, you are trying so hard to imitate others that I can’t help but think if it is so difficult to be yourself instead?
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