Minsan gusto ko na ‘lang sumigaw kapag nakikita ko mga notifications ko from Messenger. Alam niyo ‘yung pakiramdam na kaya naman nilang gawin mag-isa pero ipapagawa pa rin sa’yo? 🙃 So instead na nagpapahinga ka (kasi halos isang taon ka ring beck and call ng lahat), may kailangan ka pang tapusin na hindi mo naman na dapat problema. 🤩
Problema ng lahat, nagiging problema ko.
Problema ko, problema ko lang din dapat.
Baka kasalanan ko rin kasi hindi ako nag-set ng boundaries before. I meant well when I helped them, but I didn’t realise it only made them depend on me every fucking time they need some shit done.
Came across this other account I used as my diary way back in high school, college, and my early years as we moved to a different country. I probably wasted 2 hours just reading through all the rants—I even took screenshots back then (as a sigurista) of old conversations and photos I forgot existed.
Those things mattered a lot at the time, and I know the old Charle wrote and wrote until the wee hours of the morning just so she can take them off of her mind and forget about them completely. The thoughts and words were hard to contain—even the tears—and she wanted them to be in a place she can always go back to if needed.
She had to juggle a lot of things during those years. And sadly, she still continues to do so in the present.
I remember this being my safest place to talk about my thoughts, and I can’t help but think of how much I did and did not change over the years.
I have changed in some aspects, but I noticed I still am the very same kid who craves to be appreciated and acknowledged and loved. I am disappointed to say that there are still no developments in that area. 😆
A lot can happen in 8 years. Damn, 2015 seems like a few limetimes ago.
The Charle that I know from 8 years ago have always asked the right questions though, and they continue to be relevant up to this day.
My heart broke when I saw something from our early days, and it was about a person you’ve been with. You swore you never made any interaction with her for years, but you did.
“I’m numb and I’m tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I’d been out in a pounding rain for forty-eight hours without an umbrella or a coat. I’m soaked to the skin with emotion.”
I was going through my phone as I have to import 15,000+ photos and videos to my hard drive to make space for more happy memories (and regrets) and I saw this gem.
I’m pretty sure this was the last time I played this song and that was almost 3 years ago. Sad to say time flies, too, even when you’re barely having fun. 😆
Dumping this here cause Coldplay was and still IS correct. No one ever said it will be this hard. 🤸🏻♀️