Neil : gets drugged, harassed, tortured, beaten up, threatened, blackmailed, kidnapped, nearly murdered, and arrested Also Neil : this is the best year of my life

"I just learned these people only raise you to cage you." Is about Sirius and Regulus Black.

Dear regulus kinnies,

Are we alright? I thought at least some of us were mentally stable?? I’m starting to get concerned…

Yeah so . . .

Regulus would often catch Walburga sitting alone in the living room silently. She wouldn't read like she usually did, just stare. Stare at the dark, charred space where Sirius' name used to be.

He'd walk out from his room only to find his mother in the hallway outside his room, her eyes closed as if she was listening - as if she could hear the laughter that seemed to constantly hover around him.

She never enter his room though.

What his mother seemed to be doing could only be desribed as grieving. This was her way of mourning a child that wasn't even dead. A child that left.

Regulus supposed that was worse though. Because she has to live with knowing it was her fault.

And maybe something had clicked in his mother during those days. She was kinder - nuturing almost. She wouldn't look at Regulus with the tip of her wand anymore. She looked at him with gentle, searching eyes. Trying to catch a glimpse of the child she lost.

Regulus felt loved.

And he hated that all it took was for Sirius to leave.

Mulciber trying to hit Regulus: I'm gonna fucking kill you Black

Sirius hitting Mulciber against the wall: I'm gonna say this one time. You make a move on him, you'll be dead before you hit the ground.

Mulciber:...

Sirius: You understand me?

Regulus: That's okay, Sirius

I can smooth-shark anything and anyone. I'll play the devil's advocate like a fiddle.

Going by the same name your whole life is the fae security equivalent of never changing your password.

One thing that can save you from so much needless bickering online is always taking an "innocent until proven guilty" approach about whether or not somebody is an idiot. If something that a person you don't know is doing, thinking, or saying makes no sense to you, it's better to assume that your initial assumption of what's going on is wrong, and that there's some additional element in this that you're unaware of, and what they're up to makes sense in context.

Let's say that someone posts on tumblr: "oh great, there's a fucking crocodile on the backyard. Hope it goes away before I have to let the dog out." Talking about it in a very casual way like that's just shit that happens sometimes.

And this is read by someone whose first assumption is that everyone online comes from a similar background and cultural context as they do, and thinks: Well, if there was a crocodile on my backyard, that would mean there's something horribly wrong, and I would be unsettled indeed. As this person does not seem appropriately freaked out about this, then clearly they must be an idiot.

And so they swoop in to scold the OP for being so casual about something that must clearly be a dire situation, an apex predator like a crocodile roaming around is an emergency worse than any regular invasive species, they must immediately find out where that creature escaped from and not let it out of their sight!

And meanwhile, the original OP argues that every single step of that plan is insane and they are not going to do that. And they continue arguing like this, because one is correct in their stance that an escaped crocodile in an environment it doesn't belong in is a dire and serious situation, and the other one is correct in their stanse that it would be ridiculous to call animal control over simply seeing a wild animal naturally chilling in its native environment.

And this whole argument could have been avoided if the responder had taken the alternative route: Concluding that since behaving the way OP does in their own environment would be idiotic, then clearly they must be living somewhere else.

And a simple question of "are crocodiles normal where you're from?" could have settled this immediately, as the two would have immediately come to learn that one of them is from Australia and the other one is from France.

I think it would be funny to learn a new language but specifically learn to speak it in an extravagantly formal way. Like people can't even tell you to just fucking talk normal because they're aware you literally don't know how. So they just have to put up with you saying shit like "you have offended me and your insult will not be easily forgiven", and "ah, forgive my previous anger. I was mistaken, and too hasty in judgement. We are no longer enemies."

Within the span of 15 minutes, over confusion about a bus ticket.

Accuse me of bourgeoise, but I miss art nouveau architecture. I think it's kind of sad that buildings are deliberately designed to be plain and dull to be easy to maintain, because it's cheaper to make something that's ugly from the start and will remain so indefinitely, than to create something beautiful that's going to look really bleak when neglected and dilapitated. It's like deliberately raising your children to expect nothing but neglect so they won't be disappointed when nobody ever loves them.

I also believe that the maintenance of these beautiful buildings should be paid from public funding, and the government should be able to hire every single person with an autistic passion for scraping paint or polishing little brass flowers to do that full time with good hours, benfits and pensions, and paying them enough to support a whole family with a stay-at-home spouse.

new contender for best community note of all time

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

Okay okay listen we all know that regulus was the “good kid” - the one who never spoke up, the one who took punishment with no argument, the one who always kept his head down and did what he was told to survive in that house

But listen the thing about these good kids is that they have a limit. And when they finally finally reach it they fucking snap. You thought Sirius was bad? Oh Regulus is just getting started. He kills his dad. Poisons his mom and gifts her with a long slow and painful death. Figures the dark lords horcruxes and kills one of them - all while writing a fuck you letter to him to remind him he was bested by a 17 year old.

After all it’s always the silent ones you need to watch out for

adult hood is just

*buys a half gallon of milk* *uses it all within a few days* *decided to buy a gallon of milk to not run out before next shopping trip* *uses a teaspoon of milk that week and it goes bad somehow* *buys a quart of milk instead so it won’t go bad* *uses it in one day* *buys a quart and a half gallon of milk because the gallon was too much but the half gallon was not enough* *only uses the half gallon* *gives up on milk for a few days in general* *buys a gallon of milk again just to tempt fate* *somehow uses all of it without realizing and then has to eat sad cereal with like the 5 drops of remaining milk*

So like, does Neil ever tutor Kevin in Math? Do history majors need math? I bet Kevin is such a pain in the ass student when it's something he doesn't care about... Just imagine the arguments!!

Kevin: I just don't understand why-

Neil: BECAUSE THAT'S THE RULE, KEVIN! THAT'S THE THEOREM! JUST DO IT LIKE IT'S A DRILL-- DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE MEANING BEHIND EVERY DRILL?

Kevin: Well. Yeah.

Neil, rubbing his temples, smiling painfully: Okay then. I'll demonstrate the fucking theorem.

"if you ship this thing it's because you're too naïve to understand that it's toxic and that you wouldn't like a relationship like this" actually it's because I see one of them as a mentos drop and the other as a bottle of coke zero and I want to watch the mess they'll be together