this is so beautifully poetic and it ruins my life every time<3

how did it end? - taylor swift

down bad crying at the gymmm

down bad

my jaw is dropped.

I’m Still Here - A comment on media culture and perception 14 years later

I know I'm not the first person to make a connection between this 'Still Here' hat that Taylor wore last year and Joaquin Phoenix's 2010 mockumentary "I'm Still Here", but having now actually seen it, I can't not pick it up and comment on just how relevant this still is and how much it mirrors Taylor's experience and relationship with the media, especially as she herself described it during the reputation era. And seeing as this film is largely perceived as having flopped and fell on deaf ears, because the general public didn't get the commentary that was being made, I think it deserves a closer look and deep dive, even if it's 14 years later. I will be using the comments from a great article by Hanne Hermens, published in 2020 in diggit magazine (available here).

What is 'I'm Still Here'?

Back in 2008, actor Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from acting and proceeded to seemingly pursue a career as a rapper/ hip hop musician with limited levels of talent or success on that front. A lot of people thought it was a joke at first, but as the months went on and Phoenix descended into a scruffy, unstable version of himself, the majority of people seemed to buy into it and assumed that he'd just lost the plot. I was only 19 and living in Australia at the time, but I remember the media frenzy around this 'unhinged basket case' of a once famous actor when he'd apparently become something that was fair game for public mockery. Only a full 18 months after assuming this deranged public persona, did Phoenix reveal that it was in fact all performance art and his experience of the media and public engagement with his curated persona, a purposeful media scandal, was the subject of his non-fiction film. Somewhat not surprisingly, people didn't like being the butt of the joke and the film was perceived with a wave of outrage, people were calling him a liar, a con artist, and many other things. But just because the audience largely didn't like his way of holding a mirror up to celebrity and media culture, the question remains: Was this an elaborate hoax or was Joaquin Pheonix on to something with this portrayal?

It was certainly a big investment in a social experiment of how the media and public would react to a celebrity seemingly losing it and descending into chaos. And it did take a toll on Phoenix's mental health to be so publicly mocked, even though he'd curated this character and subsequent media storm intentionally. It does pose the question: Did he lie to everyone or did the media and public decide what his story was going to be because he dared to step out of his mold?

Hanne Hermens introduces the concept of narrativity in her article, a question of identity and authenticity when it comes to public figures and how they are portrayed in the media:

Personally, I think this film is a true masterpiece and just went completely over people's heads with the point it was trying to make. It was a very needed critique of celebrity media culture, and bear in mind this was 2010 when we barely had social media (!), it is so much more true and relevant today. And the bigger the celebrity, the more true it is. We create narratives and boxes for them that become truth, and don't you dare step out of it or you will be publicly humiliated... which brings me to our biggest current celebrity: Taylor Swift™

Taylor's relationship with the media goes as far back as her career is long, but has really taken a turn during her 1989 era, resulting in her her self-perceived cancellation in 2016 and her 'rise from the ashes' reputation era, which was very heavily styled around media narratives and it was the first time that she actually released music hitting back at the industry and media landscape. And, in particular, something that really reminded me of the points made above in the film and article, is the reputation prologue (the only words she ever said about this otherwise commentless album):

Like Hermens suggests, Taylor acknowledges the way the media narratives create truth for a celebrity in the eyes of the public. And she is making it very clear that she is the curator of her own narrative by 'what she choses to show us'. Something she also heavily emphasized in her 2023 TIME Person of the Year interview. So much so, that the article literally starts with "Taylor Swift is telling me a story..." and ends with the journalist wondering if everything he just heard and subsequently wrote about, was laid out for him to perceive in a certain favourable narrative. Maybe he felt tricked in a similar way to the public reacting to Phoenix's mockumentary, realising they were part of the game. But she does it in such a remarkable way that you can't help but play your part. Trust the greatest storyteller of our generation to beat the media at their own game. She has years of experience. But I think she's about done with this circus.

Reality or.... the manuscript?

If you are offended by the suggestion that Taylor Swift's public image is entirely curated and has very little to nothing to do with her real person, then please stop reading now. I think it is not too much of a reach to assume that at the very least, the majority of this larger than life persona she has become, is fake. If the songs on TTPD haven't given you that impression, you really aren't listening. In a way, her career so far has been an 18 year run of a show where she is the main character ("The years passed like scenes of a show"). And haven't the last 12 or so months given performance art vibes?? The Mayhem with Matty? The High School musical romance with Travis? The freakin Super Bowl?? Maybe I'm just too grossed out by it all, but it seems more fake and over the top than usual. And funny how most of the people she's hung out with during those months are all actors...

Relax, I'm not saying that she will pull the rug tomorrow and make all her little fans look like fools for believing in this show (although it would be funny...). But I think after all these years, it would be her prerogative to stop playing their game. Stop being a circus animal, or a toy in a box. The Tortured Poets songs are a warning (she said so herself in her summation poem) that, just like when Joaquin Phoenix pulled the curtain on his elaborate trick, many people aren't going to like what's coming. But I truly hope that this time, the message will not be so lost on people. Yes, we are all part of the problem. Our intrinsic nosiness and tendency to make celebrities into characters, remove their humanity and believe pictures in magazines more than their own words or art. We think we know someone, but the truth is, that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us.

If we should be so lucky to meet the true Taylor some day soon, I for one, am excited to meet her.

in peter, taylor spends the song talking about how she thought if she would just wait, the goddess of timing would fix things up and their time would come. he would grow up and come back to her, he would keep his promise of dealing with his shit and being there for her. in so much of her previous work, she talks about how he knew her so well, and now she is wondering if he can still read her. he was high above everything and could see the whole forest (her and her life) for what it was, but now he is so far high above that he can’t see it (her and their relationship) anymore while she’s still in the thick of it alone. they’re in the same difficult time, but their minds are working differently. same page, but on different lines.

she sings how she was fine with letting the lamp burn and waiting, she didn’t wanna come down, she kept her hope up, and she was okay with him being absent because she thought they’d gain perspective when he came back and it would’ve made their love better and it’d be worth it. but then she just realized that she doesn’t want that. she doesn’t wanna be betty, waiting 20 years of her life, thinking if he’ll ever be there. she wants more and she wants better. in their time together, he never grew up, so now she’s turning out the light and leaving.

so long london

SCREAMS LOUDERRR

I WANT TO SNARL AND SHOW YOU JUST HOW DISTURBED THIS HAS MADE ME YOU WOULDNT LAST AN HOUR IN THIS ASLYUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME

Taylor Swift's 'THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT' had 13 achievements (so far) in only half a day of being released:

Most-streamed album ever in a single day in Amazon Music history

First album in history to debut all its songs within US Apple Music Top 25

Biggest debut in 2024 for a solo song on US Apple Music (title track)

Biggest Spotify Album debut in 2024

Biggest Apple Music Album debut in 2024

FIRST female artist in history to debut a song directly at #1 on US Apple Music with ''Fortnight''

All 'TTPD' original tracks have occupied the Top 25 on US Apple Music

All 'THE ANTHOLOGY' tracks have occupied the Top 20 on US iTunes

Broken the record for most streamed album in a single day on Spotify in 2024

Sent 66 songs to #1 on US iTunes, the most among all artists in the platform’s history

MOST streamed album on iTunes around the world in 2024

'THE ANTHOLOGY' version reached #1 on US iTunes, replacing the original version

Best selling album of the year in the US (Pure and total)

So hang on, hang on, lemme make sure I’m getting this right. So she’s in a psych ward. In a wedding gown. And she takes the “miracle move on drug” the “forget him” pill of which the effects are temporary. Right, right. And then she’s set free, and immediately walks into a sterile office in a VICTORIAN MOURNING gown! And sits down to start working away on her typewriter. She’s writing, and she loves her muse, and it’s ruining her life. Okay. And then she and the muse are laying on the papers, in love. The pages of her work, her diary, her songs, THE FILES!! And they’re together, and the pages are flying around them, blocking them from the camera, okay? You still with me? She reaches for the muse and then she’s getting electric shock therapy?? With curly hair?? Okay. Okay. And again, loving the muse is ruining her life. And all the doctors, the people closest to her, run away scared when the electricity short circuits or whatever, and the muse is the only one who notices and stops it from killing her!!! The muse is in a (glass) phone booth, and Taylor is sitting right on top, but out of view from the muse. And they are in the middle of NOWHERE. The rust that grew between telephones??? And then we’re back in the office, and she’s pulling all the files out of the drawers!! In the mourning gown again!!! And she’s letting them out, ruining the sterility, and she’s freaking out, sobbing. And then she’s facing the camera, stone cold, letting the files swirl around her, now out in the open ON FIRE I MIGHT ADD. And back in the psych ward in the wedding dress, she breaks the glass to escape, to bolt?? And then, once the files are free, once the glass is broken, once the muse steps out of the glass!! Then she can touch the muse. Then she can touch the muse. Somebody give me an oxygen mask, holy shit

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised us

the peaked at high school girls who have cosplayed being a swiftie for a year are having a hard time comprehending ttpd lyrics and it's sending me. taylor swift is for the nerds, artists and daydreamers you bullied in school. you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum they raised me, the world is healing

How I felt after listening to 31 new songs

"we learned the right steps to different dances" is such a beautiful way to explain that nobody did anything wrong but it does not work out if you have different goals or different ideals of life, maybe sometimes things don't work out and it is nobodys fault

You look like Stevie Nicks

In ‘75 the hair and the lips

Crowd goes wild at her fingertips

half moonshine a full eclipse

TTPD just seems to get better with every listen 😭🤍

oh you're bored and tired of jack antonoff's production? girl go listen to i can do it with a broken heart and come back with ears! <3

the moment everything changed😭🤍

It’s 2am. ✌️🕑

Now that you’re a member of THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, you may access 15 additional files from the Chairman. THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT: The Anthology is out now! 🤍