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Rainn Wilson - November 27, 2017
Recent Conan appearances:
January 27, 2015
Disdain for Foodies (link)
Rainn celebrated his birthday a week prior (January 20) by going to dinner in New York City with his wife.
He despises the fetishization of intricate foods in big cities in the U.S., and warns that the last civilization that gorged and vomited (the Romans) completely collapsed.
He then jokes that he hate a delicious Octopus pastrami for his birthday and concludes, “Let Rome burn.”
Comical Torso (link)
Backstrom, a show in which he plays the alcoholic, chain-smoking head detective of Portland Police’s Special Crime Unit, begins with a shot of his bare chest.
Rainn believes his torso is an excellent source of humor, and Greg Daniels, executive producer of The Office made Dwight take his shirt off anytime he didn’t know where to take an episode. As a result, Rainn approximates he took his shirt off 17 times during the series run. 
He describes his torso as “long,” “creamy,” and “misshapen” with two “raspberries” on it.
Conan starts to pull up Rainn’s shirt, but he will not allow his chest to be exposed even though he insists he could have been a torso model in ancient Rome.
Amping Up the Sex Appeal of Chess (link)
Rainn is a huge fan of chess and wants to popularize it. 
He recently competed against Magnus Carlsen, the #1 ranked chess player in the world. Even though Carlsen beat him in 17 moves, Rainn was satisfied because Bill Gates lost to Carlsen in 9 moves.
His idea for bringing chess to the masses: Carlsen and he battle each other in chess in a sports arena, but instead of chess pieces, they would use Victoria’s Secret models. Every time one piece captured another, the models would have to fight to the death.
October 25, 2012
Metaphysical Milkshake (link)
On his website SoulPancake, Rainn hosts a talkshow in the back of his 1976 Chevrolet van called Metaphysical Milkshake. 
Due to the unusual location of the interview set, he often has to take unorthodox methods to persuade guests to come on his show.
He entices Joseph Gordon-Levitt with a bowl of candy, and once he takes the bait, Rainn throws him into the van.
He hits Serj Tankian (of System of a Down) with his car and throws him in the van.
He smashes the head of Uriuah Faber (UFC fighter) on a trash bin and throws him in the van.
Rainn’s Late Night Appearance and Dwight Tattoos (link)
Conan and Rainn first met each other when Rainn starred on Late Night with Conan O’Brian, after he had only done ten episodes of The Office. 
At the time, he was incredibly intimidated by Conan, who was his idol, and the fancy set. 
As he was being introduced and brought on stage, Rainn became incredibly awestruck, so Conan subtly instructed him to zero in on him by pointing into his own eyes. As Rainn describes this encounter, he describes Conan’s action as a “Jedi mind trick.”
Although Conan did not remember doing this, the two recreated the interaction and then high fived. 
Many diehard fans of The Office have begun tattooing Dwight on their bodies. Although Rainn is very flattered by this gesture, he is concerned for the fates of these people come the year 2043 when they have to explain the peculiar body art to their grandchildren.
The final photo in Conan’s prepared montage of tattoos was of Dwight’s face on a woman near her butt. Rainn shows particular concern over this image because he worries about the times that woman is getting intimate and her partner must look at Dwight’s face. He quips that the partner of that woman should tattoo Angela (The Office character) on his thigh so the two characters can merge.
Conan sympathizes with this tattoo craze and shows a short montage of people with body art of his face.
December 7, 2010
Growing Up Nerd (link)
Rainn apologizes for his last appearance on the show when he referred to Andy’s lectern as a “podium.”
Following the success of his recent book SoulPancake: Chew on Life’s Biggest Questions, Rainn wants to change his first name to “New York Times Best-Selling Author,” and his middle name to “Rainn.”
At the time, The Office had been running for seven seasons.
In order to portray Dwight, who Rainn describes as an “uber dork,” he channels the nerdy behavior he exhibited as a child and teen.
From the age of 11 to 14, every weekend (beginning on 4pm on Friday and ending at 5pm on Sunday) he would exclusively play Dungeons and Dragons. 
His father recently found one of his notebooks from age 13, in which he drew medieval and his own Dungeons and Dragons characters. These characters included “Ragnar the Horrible,” who was visibly exuding “sweats of battle,” as well as a devil-like creature wearing a Speedo.
While he was growing up in Lake Forest Park, Washington (a suburb of Seattle) he would frequently run around at 3am with makeshift armor, crafted out of broomstick handles and garbage can lids, and set off on missions. 
Eventually, their pretend quests turned a little more mischievous, and they started throwing toilet paper at people’s houses. 
Once he and his friends went to a 7/11 gas station dressed in camouflage and wielding armor, bought all the toilet paper in stock, and then went into the gas station parking lot to eat beef jerky. As they stood there, the police pulled up and arrested them because the gas station attendant had reported the boys as suspicious. As they were being driven to the station, they stuffed the toilet paper and armor under the seats in the cop car, but when they were in the interrogation room, an officer entered and dumped all of their stashed objects on the table. 
SoulPancake Dares (link)
SoulPancake originated as a website with the mission to “make philosophy, creativity, and spirituality fun and irreverent.” 
As a manner of encouraging people to pursue the answers to life’s biggest questions, Rainn’s book, also titled SoulPancake, provides many ideas for activities and students, including “Reverse Pickpocketing” (writing a kind message on a dollar bill and sneaking it into the pocket of an unsuspecting person) or writing your deepest, darkest secret and stashing it in a copy of SoulPancake in any bookstore. Rainn jokes that in the latter stunt, people have confessed a surprisingly high amount of murders. 
Rainn is a big advocate of not speaking for a whole day.
The longest he has gone without speaking is three days when he went to a meditation retreat. The worst part about this silence are the sounds in the dining hall: sixty freaks chewing their tofu and occasionally farting. Sometimes, when his roommate wasn’t in his room he would make crazed nonsense sounds just to make sure his mouth still worked.
Conan mistakenly believed SoulPancake was a joint project between Rainn and his son, but Rainn corrected him that his son was only six at the time and therefore had no part in it.
Other talk show appearances and miscellaneous clips:
The Late Late Show with James Corden - November 8, 2017 (link)
Rainn is a huge tennis fan and recently judged a match in which Novak Djokovic played.
As a chair umpire, his goal was to act like the “biggest asshole” he possibly could. 
Therefore, he spent most of the match making fart noises and calling balls out that were really in.
At the end of the match, the audience hated and booed him.
Associated Press - July 26, 2017 (link)
Rainn’s top highlights of playing Harry Mudd in Star Trek: Discovery were 1) firing a phaser, 2) being transported in the transporter room, and 3) sitting in the captain’s chair. 
When he was between the ages of 5 and 10 watching the original Star Trek series, or when he was 20 watching The Next Generation, it was his wildest dream to take part in this franchise, so that experience blew his wildest expectations.
Even though the Discovery set was littered with signs prohibited pictures and posting on social media, he still took endless photos because he had to savor the moment.
Lovett or Leave It - July 14, 2017 (link)
His charity in Haiti began when his wife and him visited and fell in love with all aspects of the society, namely the people, arts, and humor.
Two months after this visit, Haiti was struck by the earthquake that, according to Rainn, left 250,000 people dead in 2 minutes. 
Seven years ago, Rainn and his wife started teaching arts workshops for adolescent girls and they immediately fell in love with the work.
His organization, Lide Haiti has been running for the last 4 years. They currently educate over 600 girls in 13 rural locations in Haiti.
Although Rainn has received many positive responses about his work, he also receives complaints from angry Americans wondering what he’s doing to help his own country. After every Haiti-related Tweet, he receives some responses to the equivalent of “Why don’t you help at home?”, a sentiment he sees as particularly close-minded because were all just human beings living on a “ball of mud.”
He recently visited Tijuana with his friends to interview Haitians who were a part of the Haitian refugee crisis in Mexico.
He feels hopeful that pre-millennials and millennials are more geared now more then ever towards helping people, citing a study by Soul Pancake that found that although just a few years ago, recent college grants listed money and status as their primary goals, graduates today are prioritizing whether or not their work will have a positive impact on the world. The video compiling these statistics will be published on both SoulPancake and on its parent site, Participant Media.
The primary motives of Lide Haiti are arts education, literacy, job training, helping displaced girls acclimate into a school setting. They have a computer lab, mobile library, tutoring services, and scholarship opportunities.
Funny or Die - June 20, 2017 (link)
In a mock interview for a parody movie called Sole Survivor, Rainn describes his “character,” a man named Grimm Simmons, as a self-loathing shoe salesman who testifies before Congress against Big Shoe before dying in a fire. 
To the “interviewer,” he insists he’s tired of being perceived as a clown, so this “movie” is a starting stepping stone in his journey towards depicting life as a “miserable circus of failure and pain.”
He cuts off the rest of her questions and is then brought a platter of candies. He marvels at the Airhead Bites because he used to religiously eat them as a child, so, after a brief moment of hesitation, he takes a bite of one.
All of a sudden, a small child pops up adjacent from him in the interviewer chair. When Rainn asks who the child is, the child points to the Sloppy Joe stain on his jeans, which Rainn recalls getting after a fight with eighth-grader, Mickey Strickland. 
The young Rainn chastises old Rainn for his hardened spirit, and starts to interview him in attempts to bring back his sense of fun. He asks his favorite ice cream, and after old Rainn says he cannot eat ice cream, young Rainn slaps him in the face, prompting him to share his true answer, which was “cookies and cream.” A similar process ensues when asked his favorite movie, and he ultimately confesses his favorite is Muppets from Space. 
After insisting that he’s not a child anymore, old Rainn gets transported back to his childhood treehouse alongside young Rainn. The two Rainns get in a balloon fight with other young kids from atop the tree house.
Eight-grader Mickey Strickland shows up, wielding a Sloppy Joe sandwich, so young and old Rainn whip out water balloon bazookas and blast him.
At this point, old Rainn snaps back in his Sole Survivor interview (this time with a different interviewer) and he confesses that he detests the movie and the true movie he is there to promote is titled Blog the Talking Future Dog.
Funny or Die - June 14, 2016 (link)
For $25,000, Rainn purchased the Weezer Experience Bundle, which earns him a signed copy of Weezer’s new album, concert tickets, a Greyhound bus ride to the Galápagos islands with Rivers Cuomo, bird watching, and a boat ride.
Upon arrival for his Weezer Experience, he is greeted by Rivers Cuomo, and he immediately mentions that they both have “watery names,” which would only be made more entertaining if they met someone named “Lakey Boy.” 
Rivers admits they did not think anyone would purchase the package, but he assures him it is still real.
Rainn enters a dark room alone to find three cars of an amusement park ride. Rivers appears in a white linen button-down shirt, sunhat, and begins the “tour,” which is really just a projection simulating a bus tour across America and into the Galápagos.
Once they reach “Galápagos,” Rivers points “wildlife,” such as an old tortoise and a blue-footed booby.
Rainn cannot put his finger on what is off about this experience. 
Rivers frantically realizes the crab fences are down and they are in danger, but he assures Rainn they escaped on the back of a waved albatross, so they were safe. Rainn is skeptical of this considering he supposes a Greyhound bus to weigh at least 18 tons. 
Again faced with a crab, Rivers fights it off using the Trident of Galápagos, and once the threat is eliminated, he passes off the spear to a man who identifies himself as being named “Lakey Boy.”
At the end of the “tour,” Rainn is led back into the parking lot, and he accuses Rivers of giving him a fake tour. Rivers admits to it, but then wins Rainn back by reminding him about their “watery names.” This comment again pleases Rainn, and he gets in his car and drives off. 
Inside Quest - August 5, 2015 (link) (Less than 700 views)
Rainn once convinced Elon Musk to trade a Tesla for a bite of a sandwich. (link)
Rainn understands “spirituality” is an unsavory word to some (which often either means church or hippy dippy merging chakras), but he has yet to find a better alternative.
SoulPancake was Rainn’s attempt to produce something that his 19-year-old self would have enjoyed.
He urges people not to accept truths from parents, school, society, or religion.
He explains there are many similarities between humans and monkeys (i.e. social hierarchy, spend a lot of time on their hair, form tribes, have sex, (occasionally) throw feces at each other). Therefore, spirituality, as he explains, is everything we don’t have in common with monkeys (i.e. contemplation, conversation, making art).
Rainn was interested in kicking the younger generation’s ass to embark on any kind of journey that questions the status quo because saw young people getting tuned out, distracted, and cynical, and he worried the status quo was a materialistic dead end.
In his 2014 USC Baccalaureate speech, he mentions the Greek word, eudaimonia, used to refer to the pursuit of human flourishing. He believes leading young people to eudaimonia is the greatest service he could think of. 
When he started SoulPancake seven years ago (at the time), the Internet was (according to him) filled with porn, credit score checking sites, and chat rooms, so the mission he came up with was using the underutilized online platform to feed the souls of young people.
Death is one of his favorite topics to discuss, and he adores the Native American saying, “Today is a good day to die.”
Justin Baldoni, of SoulPancake, had the idea to gleam lessons on living from people with terminal illnesses, which led to the show, “My Last Days.” 
Rainn says he received letters from people who admitted to watching “My Last Days” videos every morning because it gave them immense clarity on the fleeting nature of their lives. 
After his self-proclaimed long and difficult life, Rainn believes the greatest purpose a human may have is being of service to other people.
After he and his wife went to Haiti, they fell in love with the culture and the country. They were here two months before the earthquake. When the earthquake hit, the hotel they were staying in was completely demolished and everyone inside died. He cites that 300,000 people died in 45 seconds. (Same story, different stat as Lovett or Leave It interview.)
He praises Sean Penn’s charity for the great work they’ve done to improve Port-au-Prince. 
He and his wife started teaching art to girls in tent camps. They were first skeptical to teach them photography and theater because they had so many other more vital basic necessities, but the improvement in quality of life he witnessed in those girls was astounding. 
Upon asking girls in the camps what their favorite color was, he realized that no one had asked them that question before because in their society their opinions were completely undervalued, which is especially shocking because they do all the cleaning, childcare, and cooking.
Rainn explains the #1 way to end world poverty is to educate girls because teenage girls spread what they learn, so they will share it with their whole family. 
At Soul Pancake, he claims they don’t have answers, but rather a bunch of questions. 
He recently took his son to the Natural History Museum in New York City and was mind blown by the birth of the universe video, narrated by Neil Degrasse Tyson. 
He describes himself as Oprah with a beard and a dad bod.
After he got out of acting school, he was cast as the lead in the Brodway show, London Assurance, but he got negative reviews. These reviews crushed him, so after crying on the phone to his wife every night, he fired all his agents, decided he was done trying to be who everyone else wanted him to be, started being as weird as he naturally is, and finally started getting roles.
When he was a kid, there were only three television channels and five movie studios, but now, with the democratization of entertainment, he appreciates being able to use newfound tools to make the world a better place. 
The co-founder of SoulPancake, Devin Gundry, decided their channel needed more “joy,” so he got in touch with “Kid President.” They started partnering with Kid President and featuring them in their videos.
He confesses if he could go anywhere at that moment, it would be Cuba.
He says the one thing he knows more than anything is that he loves his wife and son. 
His son recently told him that more people died from coconuts falling and hitting their heads than shark attacks annually. 
His favorite movie is Apocalypse Now because its taught him the most about life.
Ok Computer (by Radiohead) is his favorite album. He saw Radiohead three times in one summer. 
Additional content (Tweets):
November 25, 2017 - “Invention idea: a toilet seat that takes your blood pressure and heart rate. Go make that.”
November 24, 2017 - Recently found a puppy in Bayonaise, Haiti that had chunks of its ears missing from a voodoo ceremony. Rainn rescued the puppy and named it Ti Bagay.
November 21, 2017 - Advertising a campaign called #5for5, which aims to pressure world leaders into prioritizing a child’s early education in their first 5 years of life. 
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Bill Clinton - November 8, 2017
Conan + Clinton:
“Bill Clinton Live via Satellite” on Late Night with Conan O’Brien - During Conan’s Late Night days, his show featured a recurring segment, in which an image of Bill Clinton’s face would appear on a screen, his mouth being operated by a Late Night staffer, in order to give his thoughts on any presidential or post-presidential matters. During his impeachment ordeal, this segment was called “The President in Crisis,” and during his second campaign, his satellite image was featured in a segment titled “Decision ‘96.” I have only provided a summary of one of these faux Clinton appearances because I don’t believe the subject matter to be as pertinent to his upcoming interview as the general concept behind the segment. I have, however, provided dates and links for additional “Bill Clinton Live via Satellite” appearances. 
I would like to note that I believe I deserve a Pulitzer Prize for documenting the following segment in a pseudo-professional manner. 
July 28, 2008 (link)
Following Clinton’s recent popular speech at the Democratic National Convention.
When asked how “he” enjoyed his recent trip to Denver, “Clinton” replied he liked it because it’s always Mountain time, which “he” believed to mean when you always “mount” somebody.
“Clinton” praises Hillary for her Tuesday night speech and claims “he” hasn’t seen her look that beautiful since she walked down the aisle in her “wedding pantsuit.” “He” also describes her as being “untouchable” and shriveling her opponents into “flaccid submission.” 
“He” says the one thing he knows about Hillary is that she “kneels before no man,” and then goes on to explicitly the sexual meaning to that statement.
“He” sarcastically claims to have buried the hatchet with Obama because the world was in too much danger to dwell on petty things like Obama’s robbery of Hillary’s and the Clinton family’s dream. “He” describes Obama’s success as being “Barack-blocked” from the White House.
“He” states that he refuses to serve on the Obama cabinet, but “he” would act as Barack’s wing man because “he” has the experience to help him “hone in on the hottest hoe bags.”
July 14, 1999 (link) (featuring a faux Hillary Clinton)
January 20, 1999 (link)
December 16, 1998 (link)
November 20, 1998 (link)
September 17, 1998 (link)
October 24, 1996 (link)
Other appearances:
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (September 15, 2016) (link)
When commenting on whether he witnesses Hillary’s ugliest opposers on the campaign trail, he explains that he is primarily exposed to her fans because those are the people attend rallies. 
Clinton explains that for most of his life, each party had a stable base of 40% of the American population, and the other 20% was “up for grabs.” However, by the 2000 election, that number had increased to 45%, with only 10% up for grabs. He attributes this heightened party stability to our one remaining bigotry: the aversion to being around people that share the same beliefs as us.
In discussing the 2016 election’s recurrent theme of the “outsider,” he explains that the most important experience to have is a record of making good decisions that make a positive impact on those working for/with you.
Clinton was the longest serving governor in the United States, so he had a lot of executive experience prior to becoming POTUS. 
He explains that Hillary’s biggest fans had worked for her or done business for Trump, while Trump’s biggest fans were those who did not approve of his administration but just wanted to “come in and close the door,” similar to the sentiments behind Brexit. 
Clinton is from a small rural town, did not attend college, is white working class and the first to attend college from his family; therefore, he is the product of what was supposed to be Hillary’s base.
He assumes he’ll be the last President of the United States ever to live on a small farm with indoor plumbing; a characteristic he describes as great politics but a terrible experience. 
He claims he’s watched politicians “play his people” (Scots-Irish Protestants) since he was a little boy, which is especially unjust because his “people” make up 25% of the people who have ever worn the uniform of this country since the Revolution.
Preaches for answers not anger, and encouragement instead of resentment.
He claims if he were 25 again and asked where he would want to be living in 30 years, he would have said America.
Noah showers Clinton in balloons, and Clinton explains that when he saw the video of him following Hillary’s speech dancing in the balloons, he knew he was in his second childhood.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (October 7, 2015) (link)
Colbert refers to Obama’s title for Clinton as “Secretary of Explaining Stuff,” and in that spirit asks him to explain certain facets of the 2016 election. 
Clinton believes Bernie was doing so well because so many people though system was rigged towards rich, and since Republicans had most success the further right they went, Democrats thought it wise to go as far left as possible.
Attributes Trump’s success to his capabilities as a “master brander” and the “most interesting character out there.” Clinton was unsure if Trump’s campaign would have a “short half-life.”
Clinton dispels rumor that he called Trump, asking him to run for president and explains that Ivanka told Chelsea that Trump was planning on calling him, but he never did, so Clinton called Trump back, but they didn’t discuss his plans to run for office.
The Late Show with David Letterman (July 12, 2015) (link)
Letterman introduces him as the two-term serving, 42nd POTUS and founder of the Bill, Hillary, and Chelsea Clinton Foundation.
During his first campaign, Clinton starred on Arsenio Hall and played Billie Holiday’s “Summertime” and “God Bless the Child” on the saxophone.
He started playing the clarinet when he was 9, but he switched to the saxophone when he was 10 because his band needed a sax player.
He played the saxophone throughout high school and received more musical scholarship opportunities than academic ones. 
He did not pursue a musical career because he knew he would never be as good as John Coltrane, and in order to commit to the grueling schedule of playing clubs so late at night, he would have needed to know he would be the best.
Discussed how Buddy Guy unraveled the wires in his screen door in order to make his first guitar because his family had no money. He quips that the moral of this story is that it’s better to be raised in a well-off family.
His granddaughter named Charlotte had just turned 7.5 months, and she was fascinated with eyeglasses. 
Clinton describes his role as Charlotte’s grandfather as “more important” than his role as the ex-POTUS.
Just returned from trip to Africa, in which he visited Kenya, Tanzania, southern Africa, Liberia, and Morocco. Clinton visited four people in the Health Access program, who did not evacuate Liberia during the Ebola crisis. 
He is amazed by the African people’s ability to make something out of nothing, and he shared the story of a woman who walked 12 miles with a 6-month-old child in her arms to get a vaccination as well as a woman farmer who added soy beans to her farm, which increased her income by 300%, so she could send her kids to school.
The success stories he shared were due to the Clinton Global Initiative, a network of individuals who have voluntarily pledged $100 million over a decade which has benefited 430 million people in 180 countries.
Clinton Foundation also provides AIDS treatment, and has managed to treat half of the people in the world diagnosed with the disease by significantly reducing the price and upping the produce volume.
Clinton Foundation also provided 15 million students with access to healthier foods in schools, in conjunction with Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign. 
Clinton became interested in healthy food programs following his multiple bypass surgery.
Clinton claims that children who are deprived of food and obese are both on the knife edge of poverty. He is currently working with corporations to convince them to stop manufacturing unhealthy foods.
He claims his chance of moving back to the White House is 100%... if Hillary wins. 
Raves over the difference having a grandchild has made in his and Hillary’s lives.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (January 14, 2015)
Presidential Golfing (link)
Clinton recently played in Humana Challenge PGA Golf Tournament.
The first time he played in that tournament it was alongside President Ford, President Bush, Bob Hope, and pro golfer Scott Hoch.
Clinton says he thinks it’s unfair presidents get so much flack for golfing because presidents can always be reached — even on a golf course.
While he was POTUS, he frequently took international calls in the middle of the golf course.
He attributes presidents’ love for golfing to the facts that it is consuming of both time and mental focus, which deters focus from political happenings for a brief period. Sometimes, it would take him five holes of golf before he could hit a good shot because he was so distracted.
He claims presidents usually go golfing in August because something always happens during August.
Started the Clinton Health Matters Initiative in Coachella Valley with the Bob Hope Tournament. 
His Initiative has made great progress in the childhood obesity epidemic by convincing soft drink companies to voluntarily reduce the amount of calories in drinks shipped to schools by 90%. Next, he aimed to start planning for after school programs, exercise opportunities in poor communities, and quality of air and water.
He would not be golfing in the upcoming tournament, but he wasn’t fazed because he claimed to not even be good anymore.
Terrorist Attack in Paris (link)
Although he believed Muslim leaders should do more to combat extremists, he reminds the crowd that you cannot blame a religion for terrorism because terrorist individuals are cold-blooded murderers, devoid of religion.
Expresses sympathy for families of victims, French people, journalists, but he believes its important for people to observe the lack of religion in this so-called “religion-based” terrorism. 
Praises the fact that the Palestinian President recently marched in a parade with the Israeli Prime Minister because of the positive message it sent. 
The Ellen Degeneres Show (November 12, 2014) (link)
Refused to comment on Hillary’s presidential plans. 
More invested in “Too Small to Fail”, an initiative of the Clinton Foundation, because of his granddaughter.
Cites statistic that by the time his granddaughter heads to kindergarten, she will have heard 30 million more words than the child of a single working mother who can barely clothe and feed her kids. Therefore, he encourages parents to read and talk to their kids. 
After George W. Bush became a grandfather, only weeks before Clinton did, Bush warned him that he would immediately fall to last place in the family hierarchy. 
Funny or Die (October 17, 2011) (link)
In the “Celebrity Division” of the Clinton Foundation, Ben Stiller leads a meeting to brainstorm ideas in honor of the Foundation’s 10th anniversary. 
Kristen Wiig suggests an extension of the Foundation’s efforts to reduce carbon dioxide in which everyone in the world holds their breath for one minute every day.
Ted Danson suggests an entrepreneur mentoring program in order to provide pro-bono consulting to urban entrepreneurs, but he is really just reading off of the list of accomplishments the Foundation has already completed. 
Sean Penn suggests an initiative in which people stop stealing his sandwiches from the break room. 
Matt Damon suggests an office softball team in order to improve team spirit.
Jack Black calls in via Skype with a suggestion for the Foundation theme song.
Kristen Wiig additionally suggests an international bake sale.
Clinton phones in, Stiller hesitantly relays the questionable ideas they have brainstormed, and Clinton responds with pure enthusiasm. 
The “Clinton” on the phone is revealed to be Kevin Spacey. Clinton walks into his office to find Spacey using his phone, and reprimands Spacey for making prank calls... without him. 
References:
The Late Late Show with James Corden (August 2, 2016) (link) (Bradley Cooper and Todd Phillips)
Phillips and Cooper got to meet Clinton when he visited The Hangover set in Bangkok while he was giving a speech on energy conservation.
After his speech, Phillips and Cooper got to go to dinner with him.
Clinton told Phillips that he loved watching comedy movies while he was flying, and his favorite comedy was Who’s Your Caddy?, a film Phillips hadn’t yet seen.
After sitting next down next to Cooper, Clinton asked if there would be a sequel to Cooper’s movie remake of The A-Team and if he could star in it if there was. 
Late Night with Seth Meyers (July 26, 2016) (link) (Lenny Kravitz)
Clinton called Kravitz at home while he was working in his studio. When his assistant told him the POTUS was on the phone, Kravitz thought it was a joke.
Clinton was calling to ask Kravitz to perform at the DNC, and he tried to sway him by assuring it would be a casual event (Clinton planned on wearing cowboy boots and jeans) and that they would serve Clinton’s favorite BBQ from Arkansas. 
Clinton came backstage during Kravitz’s performance and started playing Kravitz’s sax player’s saxophone, which Kravitz advised against after the fact because of the questionable places his sax player’s mouth had been.
As a result of this interaction, Kravitz maintained a friendship with the Clintons.
Once, when he was set to perform at the White House, he brought along his grandfather as a guest. His grandfather was from a small island in the Bahamas, became the man of his household at age 9, did not see ice or electricity until he was 10, got married when he was 16, and moved to Miami as a teen.
Kravitz’s grandfather intended on going to New York, so on the train from Miami to NYC, when they stopped in Washington D.C., he was unable to order from the café in the train station because of Jim Crow Laws, so a man offered him a piece of apple pie on a napkin and a hot chocolate. After this kind gesture, Kravitz’s grandfather swore he would return to D.C. one day as an invited guest.
His grandfather told this story to the Clintons at the White House, which caused both Bill and Hillary to get tears in their eyes. Bill then proceeded to take Kravitz’s grandfather in a secret elevator, across the White House, and into the Oval Office, where he was photographed sitting at the desk.
Three years later, his grandfather died, but leading up to his death, the Clintons wrote him hand-written letters. 
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Stephen Colbert - November 6, 2017
I’d like to preface this entry by explaining the obvious; considering the great wealth of online clips of Stephen Colbert due to his position as host of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and considering my lack of knowledge about the protocol for Conan interviewing other late-night hosts, what I have compiled is an abridged collection of Colbert’s recent interviews and performances as well as any upcoming events I believed may be significant for his appearance on Conan. 
Stephen and Conan in NYC
Conan: November 4, 2011 (link) (During Conan’s week at the Beacon Theater)
In the middle of his monologue, Conan spots Jon Stewart in the audience. After Conan reminds Stewart he is missing the taping of The Daily Show, Stewart sprints out, Conan requests another ticket-holder is brought in from the lobby, and Colbert enters as the replacement for Stewart’s seat.
Colbert quips he found the ticket for the show on the ground outside.
After Conan reminds Colbert he has a show airing in 18 minutes, Colbert assures Conan that is plenty of time to write a show. When Conan updates the countdown to 17 minutes, Colbert frantically evacuates the theater.
The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour: June 2, 2010 (link)
During a performance in New York City, Colbert appears on stage, mentions Conan’s recent facial plastic surgery, and jokingly insults Conan for leaving NYC (following the ending of his Tonight Show stint). 
Conan criticizes Colbert for claiming to be a true New Yorker, when in reality, he’s from New Jersey.
Colbert suggests a physical altercation with Conan, which turns into a dance-off.
After Colbert falls and injures himself while dancing, Jon Stewart storms the stage to prevent Colbert from surrendering to Conan. Stewart then starts an aggressive dance-off to the song Sandstorm by Darude, during which he too falls.
As Stewart lays injured and dying on the ground, Colbert hovers over him and requests that Stewart, as his dying offering, give Colbert the 11:00 pm slot. 
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: October 14, 2017 (Conan as guest)
David Letterman’s Horse (link)
(The last time Conan appeared on The Late Show, it was being hosted by David Letterman.)
Conan congratulates Colbert on his Late Show success.
After discussing their mutual respect for Letterman, Colbert mentions Conan’s piece written in honor of Letterman’s retirement, which was published in Entertainment Weekly.
Conan recounts a long tale, in which, because Letterman appreciated the EW piece, he sent Conan a horse, delivered by two cowboys, an hour before a taping of Conan. 
The horse, named Dave, requires an immense amount of upkeep including room and board at an expensive facility.
Conan cannot ride the horse because it has bucked off the last two people who attempted to get on it, so in order to clear it for riding purposes, Conan would have had to hire an “expensive horse lawyer.” 
After two years of rooming the horse, Conan’s wife sends the horse, named Dave, to an equine massage center, where students learning how to massage horses may practice massaging techniques on Dave all day.
Colbert is overwhelmed by the length of Conan’s story. (As was I.)
#PuberMe and Harvard (link)
Colbert mentions Conan’s submission for the #PuberMe challenge — a viral hashtag that prompted celebrities to Tweet pictures of themselves during puberty in efforts to aid relief for Puerto Rico.
Colbert mentions Conan’s Ivy League past at Harvard and inquires about his desires to become a serious writer.
They discuss their mutual love of Flannery O’Connor. Conan’s favorite of O’Connor’s work is A Good Man is Hard to Find, while Colbert’s is The Enduring Chill.
Conan was ashamed of his Harvard identity when he first took over for David Letterman. 
Conan tells another (great, but equally long-winded) story about how his finger was jammed into his ring while playing basketball, and he had to visit a particularly rough hospital in East Los Angeles, where his ring dilemma was met by patients who had been shot in the face, attacked by pitbulls, and burned with acid. 
Traveling for Conan (link)
Colbert praises Conan’s travels to seven countries in the past two years.
Cobert asks what Conan loved most about Israel, and praised Conan for nobly acting as a “common fool.”
Conan stressed the importance of demonstrating to other nations that Americans can laugh at themselves and can stand to be laughed at. 
Conan explains how his travels have made him feel re-energized about his work at Conan, and he recounts his recent trip to the Holy Land, where his sound guy caused a scene by hitting an 800 year old lamp in the Church of Nativity, which caused hot oil to spew everywhere. 
Other appearances:
Face the Nation: December 25, 2016 (link)
(This interview with John Dickerson came a year after Colbert’s popular Face the Nation interview at the end of 2015.)
Following the election, Colbert says the good news of 2016 lies in individual relationships, and not in the nation’s politics. 
Makes a lengthy comment on political divisiveness, and explains that dividing into teams is only worthwhile if your team wins.
In preparation for his live coverage of the 2016 election, Colbert and his team prepared material for three out of four possible election outcomes, the fourth of which occurred: Trump was predicted to win with little uncertainty. He chose not to prepare material in event of this outcome because he knew if this occurred he would be performing for an audience of very depressed individuals.
Despite his own rant against political divisiveness, he admits it’s hard not to be divisive in his line of work because he tells jokes and every joke has a little knife in it. 
Years ago, he coined the term “truthiness” to describe the tendency to believe what feels true rather than what is verified by facts. In light of Oxford Dictionary’s selection of “post-truth” (absence of facts) as word of the year, Colbert expresses his fear that if there are no facts, there is nothing to agree on.
Colbert urges his viewers to seek out other news sources besides him.
He highlights the benefits of humorously covering an election cycle; it’s one story and no one dies.
Colbert explains that writing jokes about trump isn’t as much about swinging at a ball as it is picking which ball to swing at.
The biggest lesson he learned about interviewing was not to hold a pen. During his time at The Colbert Report, he played a character that battled his guests in a debate style, but as a late-night host, putting down the pen allowed him to drop the caricature act and truly listen.
After all of his 2016 live specials, Colbert was reminded the beauty of writing material under pressure because some of his best shows that year were written in a matter of hours or even thirty minutes.
His happiest moments of 2016: Stevie Wonder singing him “Happy Birthday” on their mutual birthday, taking his son to college, his friend diagnosed with cancer learned her disease would be treatable.
Colbert recommends Trump should read The Constitution, Art of the Deal, and the phrase “The buck stops here” because a president must not blame others for his own actions. 
After reading The Art of the Deal, Colbert learned that Trump will be friends with anyone.
Colbert would not turn down the chance to have any sitting president on his show (similar to Conan’s opinion) but he would like to find a way to respectfully challenge the POTUS.
When Trump came on his show during the 2016 election cycle, his liberal fans skewered him for being too lenient, but he greatly respects the presidency, so he finds it morally unsound to be disrespectful.
Looking ahead, he hoped to get more sleep in 2017.
Colbert’s talk show advice: listen, be up to date on the news, be able to read, know how to improvise, learn to be happy with failing, don’t blame anyone but yourself for the outcome of the joke. 
SHOWTIME’s special Stephen Colbert’s Live Election Night - November 8, 2016 (Signing off) (link)
Shaken and awe-struck, Colbert says he cannot bear to sit down, and he somberly comments on the “exhausting” and “bruising” nature of the election.
Remarks that both parties believe the other political party is a threat to the nation and a cause for fear, and he compares bipartisan hate to ingesting poison.
Richard Nixon was his first president as a child, and he grew up during Watergate. He blames Watergate as the moment in American political history where we all stopped trusting each other, but he insists that even then young people did not discuss politics to this extent; dinner table conversations were geared towards religion and guessing which family members were gay, rather than political affiliations.
Comes from big Catholic family, including siblings James, Edward, Mary, William, Margo, Thomas, Jay, Elizabeth, Paul, and Peter. His mother was born two days before women could vote for the first time in a presidential election.
Before his mother died at the age of 92, she told Colbert she was finally ready to vote for Hillary. The only Democratic she ever voted for was Kennedy. 
Colbert insists we are not meant to absorb this much election coverage, which is why so much exposure to/information surrounding it is so boring (i.e. electoral college, C-SPAN).
To end his live coverage, he rattles off national American truths such as the proper way to eat Kit Kats, the designated fate of YouTube pranksters, and a perpetual unknowing of the purpose behind the War of 1812.
Upcoming events
Homes for Our Troops (November 4-14, 2017)
Event hosted by Cher, George Clooney, Jake Tapper, and Ben Stiller, which aims to give mortgage-free, specially-designed homes to wounded veterans. 
In order to raise money, items will be put up for auction on eBay, and all proceeds will go directly to the charity.
Both Conan and Colbert (as well as other late-night hosts) have offered up tickets for their shows and photo opportunities as an item for bid.
Night of Too Many Stars (November 18, 2017)
Hosted by Jon Stewart 
Fundraises for Robert Smigel’s NEXT for autism charity, which supports autism schools, programs, and services
Celebrities listed to star alongside Stephen Colbert include Louis C.K., Olivia Munn, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, and John Oliver.
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Taran Killam - October 23, 2017
Past talk show appearances (sorted by most recent):
Late Night with Seth Meyers (October 12, 2017)
Eminem Impression (link)
Killam is a huge L.A. Rams fan, but there aren’t many celebrity Rams fans. 
Holy Trinity of Rams fans: Ty Burrell, Danny Trejo, and Killam.
Meyers praises Killam’s impressions, including Brad Pitt and Eminem.
Killam raves over Eminem’s rap against Trump. He tries to add upon the video in his best Eminem impression, but he has a hard time freestyle-ing on the spot. 
Arnold Schwarzenegger (link)
Promoting Killing Gunther, a mockumentary about a group of hit men trying to kill a hit man.
Starring in this film was his dream because he wanted to run around and pretend to be an action star.
Extensively discusses working alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, according to Killam, was very professional and had the poise of a body builder, action star, and governor. 
Killam had to FaceTime Schwarzenegger every week to remind him to post on social media, and his wife, Cobie Smulders could never get used to hearing Schwarzenegger’s voice coming from their bedroom.
Meyers and Killam grew up at a time when Schwarzenegger’s films were huge, and they both watched them at sleepovers.
The first R-rated film Killam ever saw was Terminator 2.
For 3-4 years, Killam tried to mimic the “step-cut” haircut of Edward Furlong by sporting long bangs swept to one side.
In Killing Gunther, Killam wrote a scene from Commando with a comedic twist before he even knew Schwarzenegger would be in it. The scene involves a hit man breaking into a weapon arsenal, taking all the weapons, and then getting arrested by the cops, who confiscate all the weapons.
Schwarzenegger was forced to wear disguises in the film; in his first scene, he was forced to wear booty shorts and a tankini.
Killam wrote, directed, and starred in the film.
(The directing was not planned, but in the end, he felt no one else was as committed to making the vision come to life as he was.)
Killam was fortunate enough to share many dinners with Schwarzenegger where he asked him about his prior movie experience.
Killam’s biggest regret is that he didn’t work out with Schwarzenegger. 
Rather than exercise in a fancy gym, Schwarzenegger frequented the local YMCA.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (June 10, 2015) (link) 
Meyers praises Killam’s 2013 SNL skit “Blazer,” in which he played a 1980′s inspired cop who incidentally only went after black perpetrators. 
Killam was ecstatic to get the chance to slide over the roofs of cars and jump between buildings all day, but on his final shot, he fell and landed on his face, and this shot was used in the sketch.
Killam describes himself as the ‘king of falling on the last take’; when he shot a Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? parody with Charlize Theron, he had to repeatedly do keg stands, and on the last try his arms gave out and he fell over onto Theron’s face.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (September 10, 2016) (link) (with Bobby Moynihan)
Moynihan and Killam remark on the relaxed security on the Late Night set and show a movie, shot on an iPhone, of them prancing around Meyers’ studio earlier that day and putting their bare butts on his desk.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (December 20, 2016) (link) (with Marc Andreyko)
Interview shot on the first day of Killam’s Hamilton rehearsals. 
Killam says that the character he plays, King George III, is the funniest role in the role play. 
Late Night with Seth Meyers (April 30, 2015) (link) (Cobie Smulder on Killam)
Smulder remarks that her husband is a huge Avengers fan, and even knows more about the comic world than she does, so he had to explain Ultron to her. 
Killam used to have Avengers poster in his SNL dressing room, which Meyers realized Killam would have regardless if his wife was on the poster.
Late Show with Stephen Colbert (February 10, 2017) (link)
Discusses his role as King George III in Hamilton.
Killam attended college for musical theater for a year before “comedy took over.”
Due to his Hamilton costume involving high heels and a velvet cape, the most difficult choreography is walking in a straight line.
Killam is the tallest in the cast, so when he’s wearing a crown and heels, he has to duck under the set for his entrances. One time he forgot to duck, so his crown went flying, but the audience laughed because, as Killam describes it, you “can’t fail in that role.”
The celebrity he was most excited to meet backstage at Hamilton was Sarah Michelle Gellar because he was a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but he kept his cool when he met her.
The only time he ever cried at T.V. was during Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Colbert praises Killam’s impression work, including Brad Pitt and Matthew McConaughey. 
Killam says people are never impressed with his impressions of them.
Killam was extremely excited to meet Jeff Goldblum at the SNL 40th anniversary special. 
Killam explains that when outside guests come back for recurring roles on SNL (i.e. Melissa McCarthy, Alec Baldwin) they are usually comedy gods and therefore well-received by the cast.
Both Killam and McCarthy started at the Groundlings Theater in Los Angeles, and Killam always went out of his way to watch McCarthy perform. 
Killam never did a Schwarzenegger impression on T.V.
Filmed Killing Gunther during the summer of 2016. The film is about a group of hit men killing Gunther, the most famous hit man (played by Schwarzenegger.) 
The first time Killam FaceTime’d Schwarzenegger for casting, Schwarzenegger was sitting at an oak desk in front of a six foot tall oil painting of himself, smoking a cigar.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (April 10, 2013) (link) (”Worst I Ever Bombed”)
One of his comic friends pressured Killam into trying stand-up, and got him a 5-minute slot at 2:45am at the Westwood Brew Co. Attic.
Killam prepared no jokes for his set, but rather told a story about taking his 18-year-old brother to a strip club, to an audience of four people (two college girls and an old couple). 
As soon as he mentioned giving a stripper $10 to give his brother a lap dance, the two college girls left, and he proceeded to explain to the couple the circumstances for his subpar stand-up.
He has never tried stand-up ever again since that incident.
From the Dressing Room (July 2, 2015) (link)
Discusses his role as Orin in the New York City Center reproduction of Little Shop of Horrors, directed by Jake Gyllenhaal.
Compares working in theater versus SNL, and explains that Little Shop requires much more memorization, but is a less time-stressed experience. 
This show was his first time singing “in earnest.”
He would love to do something on Broadway, namely play Dr. Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror.
His first SNL hero was Eddie Murphy because his family had VHS tapes of Murphy’s work.
He was most nervous to perform alongside Jim Carrey, his biggest comedic influence, but because of Carrey’s SNL hosting gigs, Killam has now performed with him three times.
Among the shows Killam (binge) watches include Inside Amy Schumer, Bloodline, Game of Thrones, and Hannibal.
Fandango Movieclips Action (July 12, 2015) (link)
Killam has been attending Comic-Con since he was 19 years old. (Considering he was 33 in 2015, this made 14 consecutive years.)
Just starred in season of Drunk History, where he acted out the scenes, but never blacked out and recounted a history.
His wife, who plays Maria Hill in the Avengers, just received her own Hot Toy action figure.
In upcoming Drunk History seasons, he’d like to see the history of Australia represented, so he can see crazy criminals build an opera house.
His wife is an ambassador for Oceana.
Hot tamales are one of his favorite candies, and made up an integral part of his middle school diet, along with peach rings, Mountain Dew, and French onion Sun Chips.
Funny or Die (March 12, 2014) (link)
Attended the Secret Policeman’s Ball with fifty of the top American and British comedians.
Funny or Die (May 10, 2012) (link)
A PSA for “Got Your Back,” a charity dedicated to enhancing lives of soldiers upon their arrival back in the U.S., in which Rob Riggle slaps everyone’s back (including Killam’s.)
Also stars Ron Perlman and Kim Coates.
Funny or Die (June 19, 2007) (link)
Parody of Knocked Up, in which Killam plays a character named Scott Peterson. When a woman Peterson had a one-night-stand with confesses to him she’s pregnant, he reacts by asking if she likes boats. 
Funny or Die (July 8, 2008) (link)
Three different Matthew McConaughey’s (one being Killam) find a baby girl outside their door and collectively take care of her.
Also stars Olicia Munn and Joey Kern.
Funny or Die (July 10, 2007) (link)
Skit written by Killam and a partner, titled “True Life: I’m Crazy.”
Killam plays a 46-year-old man named Harold who consistently follows around his 17-year-old high school friend named Lucas.
When Lucas gets asked on a date, Harold gets jealous, tries to float in the sky, but instead stands still for fourteen hours before passing out.
Talkhouse Podcast (July 27, 2017) (link) (Fairly rare: 2,542 YouTube views)
Killam sits down with SNL cast member, Kyle Mooney, at a flagship Sonos store in New York City.
The initial interviewer’s daughter knows Killam solely as “Nature Cat”, a character in a show about cat that ventures out to spend time with its animal friends every time its family leaves.
Killam took the red eye that morning from L.A. to NYC because he was filming Drunk History in L.A.
Killam grew up in southern California, and then attended UCLA there.
When Mooney was cast on SNL, Killam was one of the first people to call and congratulate him. 
Mooney and Killam try to visit Disneyland once a year again.
Disneyland makes Killam happy because it reminds him of a fun carefree time that signaled the start of his dreaming to be involved with Disney in come way.
His first film shot in Vancouver.
Killam performed karaoke in Boston’s China Town, where English was the sixth language selection for each song.
Killam’s go-to karaoke songs are “Starlight” by Muse and “Don’t Look Back in Anger.”
Mooney estimates that he and Killam have done karaoke between 4 and 10 times together, but Killam insists it was more because of SNL ‘after-after parties.’
Killam is a boy band fanatic.
When Taran was thirteen, his mom got him a singing audition for a boy band.
Lance Bass was Killam’s favorite member of NYSYNC because he raved about horseback riding and jet skis.
Mooney and Killam extensively discuss Saved by the Bell.
Schwarzenegger played villain in Killing Hunter. 
Schwarzenegger is a “man of the people” and a “promoter of himself,” so he’s very accessible. 
Killam’s dream would be to eat his way through the holidays, then start a mission to get ripped on January 2, so he could be in shape for summer, but he voices his concerns to Mooney that being chiseled might interfere with his comedic potential.
Killam loves murder mysteries and intends to make more comedic murder mysteries.
Some of his favorite murder mystery films are The Thin Man and Murder by Death. 
Flawlessly quotes Peter Falk in Murder by Death talking about having sex with a fat waitress. 
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Andy Samberg - September 27, 2017
Recent Conan appearances:
September 19, 2016 - 
Game of Thrones Spoilers (link)
Kit Harrington was Andy’s co-presenter at the Emmy’s and co-star in 7 Days in Hell.
Andy hated working with Kit because he heard the major Game of Thrones spoiler that Jon Snow had died.
Kelsey Grammer (link)
Worked with Kelsey Grammer in the animated film, Storks.
Sometimes during vocal warmups Grammer would slip into the voice of Sideshow Bob, his character on The Simpsons, which greatly excited Andy because he’s was a huge fan of that show.
Andy says the only work he’s ever done that would generate as much excitement in fans as hearing Grammer do the Sideshow Bob voice is “Dick in a Box.”
Throughout the segment, Andy refers to pictures he brought, which correspond to completely mundane references such as “happy,” “angry,” and a monkey dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. (OK, that last one wasn’t mundane.)
Bill Clinton Collaboration (link)
The Lonely Island dreams of doing a musical collaboration with Bill Clinton, in which he would play the saxophone.
Samberg was recently at the same charity event as Bill Clinton, so he approached the former president to voice his collaboration dreams, but he broke down and started muttering jibberish.
Bike Shorts (link)
Tour de Pharmacy was a follow-up to his tennis mockumentary, 7 Days in Hell.
Wanted to make fun of biking culture, which Conan says he subscribes to right down to the lycra bike shorts. He even has a paparazzi photo to prove it.
Fire Cop Move (link)
Andy shows off another one of his cool cop moves, designed to show the Brooklyn Nine-Nine staff that he’s capable of doing stunts.
He goes backstage with a gun in order to “follow a perp,” gets set on fire, and re-emerges.
September 27, 2013 - 
Transition from SNL (link)
Samberg says he’s adjusting “decently” from his time on SNL.
He finds that the hardest switch to network TV is that he has to be aware of many cameras at all times instead of simply reading cue cards. Because of such, he often finds himself accidentally staring directly into the camera. 
Samberg wants to prove to his show’s producers his capability of doing action stunts, so he demonstrates to the audience how to slide on the ground and shoot a gun while “avoiding” gazing into the camera lens.
Wedding (link)
Samberg had gotten married the weekend before (at the age of 35).
The wedding was the “best day of his life” because he “finally lost his virginity.”
Jokingly told Conan he registered at Little Caesar’s. 
Samberg invited Adam Sandler to the wedding, but was worried how Sandler would interact with his friends and family. 
Sandler showed up at the rehearsal dinner dressed as his character in That’s My Boy, and continued to personally interact with Samberg’s loved ones throughout the weekend.
February 20, 2013 - 
Failed SNL Sketch (link)
Drawing on his own experiences, Conan prompts Samberg if he wrote any SNL sketches he thought were hilarious, but didn’t make the cut.
Samberg recalls a sketch in which the main character continues asking everyone in a room if they want to accompany him to the bathroom.
Sketch was derived from the fact that the bathroom was very far away from SNL writer room, and Andy frequently asked for company because he notoriously got lonely very quickly.
Sketch made it to dress rehearsal once but it fell completely flat with the audience.
Samberg performs a bit of the sketch for Conan’s audience, who laugh, which Samberg appreciates as his “Make a Wish” moment.
Patriotic Romance (link)
Samberg was preparing to host Film Independent Spirit Awards, but all he can focus on is not making out with an eagle.
An eagle sitting in the audience approaches the stage, Andy makes out with it, wonders if the eagle has feelings for him, and then finds the eagle was just Brian Stack wearing a giant bird costume.
June 13, 2012 (CONAN Chicago) -
Ken Burns Joke (link)
Last time Samberg saw Conan, they were in Washington D.C. honoring Will Ferrell for winning the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. 
Samberg and Conan both wrote jokes about Ken Burns, so Conan scrapped his for Andy, but PBS ended up cutting Andy’s joke from airing because they were afraid of Ken Burns.
Andy’s joke focused on Burns’ appearance, remarking that he looked like the product of a three-way between Rob Lowe, Stephen King, and a goatee.
Had recently announced retirement from SNL after seven seasons.
Samberg and Conan discuss late work nights.
Andy recalls story in which he and SNL writer Rob Klein left the studio around 5am to return to their apartments, which were close to each other. When they arrived at Klein’s place, Klein realized he forgot his keys in the studio, so Andy invited him to stay over at his place. As they both got out of the cab at Andy’s apartment, a giant gay black man emerged from his stairwell, handed them a condom, and in a high-pitched tone said “Have fun.”
Rahm Emanuel Impression and That’s My Boy (link)
Mayor Rahm Emanuel was on Conan the previous night.
Andy was assigned to impersonate Emanuel on SNL because he looked the most like him.
Samberg says the trick to impersonating him is to channel his pent up rage.
Samberg does an Emanuel impression in which he blows a gasket over the idea of someone cutting him in line at The Weiner Circle.
Andy originally found out about That’s My Boy, when he heard there was a role for Adam Sandler’s son if he had a son when he was 15, and Samberg thought it was his birth right to obtain the role.
Samberg called Sandler repeatedly to beg and offer one of his balls for the role, which Sandler said he hoped was not necessary.
Samberg describes Sandler’s role in the film as a “lovable dirtbag.”
Shooting G-String Gun (link)
In order to live out a fantasy of shooting a T-Shirt Gun, Samberg takes it up a notch and shoots a G-string gun into the audience.
Other talk show appearances (sorted in reverse chronological order):
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (September 27, 2017)
Fatherhood (link)
Andy has a baby daughter now!
He knows he’s turned into a father because he purchased a pair of Curry 3 Shoes, which he associates as being dad-wear. 
Andy says his daughter has started making fart noises, so he has taught her everything he knows.
The Brooklyn Nine-Nine off-season aligned with his paternity leave, so now that he’s back at work, he’s refreshed to be met with people who will get him food and offer not to pee on him. 
Andy comments that while his wife was pregnant, everyone was incredibly enthusiastic about his upcoming child, but as soon as the baby was born, everyone became very pessimistic about child-rearing.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine Cliffhanger (link)
The crew of Andy’s show didn’t find out whether they had been renewed for another season until very late, so they didn’t know if the Season 2 finale would be their final episode.
Season 3 begins with Jake and Rosa in jail.
The show shot in a real retired jail, located next to a warehouse of old cop supplies.
Andy shows a “self-explanatory” clip of a man in a cop uniform doing a sexy dance in an inconspicuous bedroom. He cites this clip from a movie called Cop Guy Dancing.
Taylor Swift vs. Katy Perry Feud (link)
Samberg was recently in a commercial with Taylor Swift, where she kicked him through a wall.
Through SNL, he has worked with both Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, but he chooses not to take a side in the feud because he “heard” Jared Kushner was in charge of mediating a peace accord between them.
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (June 16, 2017)
Oscars, Football, and Golden State Warriors (link)
Asks Kimmel about the Oscars’ Best Picture mix-up and whether he has had to “talk about it a lot.”
Loves the Golden State Warriors, so he’s very excited they won the Final, even though he can acknowledge that their roster is unfair.
He wanted to play football when he was younger, but his mom wouldn’t let him, so he played soccer instead.
Andy takes pride in playing soccer because it is the biggest sport in the world, but Kimmel compares stating that to David Hasselhoff stating to everyone he meets that he’s really famous in Germany. Andy likes to imagine Hasselhoff really says this.
Tour de Pharmacy Penis Jokes (link)
Tour de Pharmacy has a star-studded cast, predominantly including Orlando Bloom.
Andy describes the movie as a “penis heavy project.”
The film begins with Bloom exposing his penis to pee while he’s biking, which the producers believed would be hilarious because of its unexpected and shocking nature. However, a week after they finished shooting, photos of Orlando Bloom paddle boarding naked with Katy Perry emerged, which ruined the surprise of his penis.
Summer Camp (link)
Used to attend summer camp in Yosemite at Bass Lake, and eventually he became a counsellor there.
Because he had no skills, he was assigned to the counsellor position of Campfire Coordinator, which allowed him to pick the songs they would sing around the campfire.
One year Andy grew his hair long and stopped brushing him, which led to him returning to camp with dreadlocks. 
Upon seeing his “white dreadlocks,” his camp friends held him down and shaved his head, which Andy identifies as the reason he was able to make out with a girl that night.
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (March 1, 2016) (link)
Andy attended the Oscars Vanity Fair After Party the night before, but he doesn’t remember it.
He had to shoot Brooklyn Nine Nine that morning (the morning after the party) which contributed to his unwell state during the interview.
He planned on not going to the after party due to a lingering illness, but his mom pressured him to go via FaceTime.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (September 12, 2015) (link) 
Andy asks Seth to help him with his writing for hosting the Emmy’s because of their strong friendship (Seth was one of Andy’s groomsmen) and Seth’s prior writing help (he helped Amy Poehler and Tina Fey write their Golden Globes Monologue).
Andy frequently dresses up in ridiculous costumes for Seth’s hosting gigs.
Discusses the two kids of people in NorCal, which is where he met Akiva Schaeffer and Jorma Taccone, the two other members of the Lonely Island.
His film collaboration with Judd Apatow was set to premiere in June 2016 alongside the sequel to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. 
In efforts to boost his film’s own popularity, Andy prematurely starts a smear campaign against the Ninja Turtles, by accusing specific turtles of being racist and sex offenders.
Seth quizzes Andy on pronunciations of difficult celebrity names.
Seth relays Tina Fey’s Emmy advice for Andy to “keep it sexy.”
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (September 11, 2015) (link)
Andy Tweeted a picture of himself planking on the writer’s table for his Emmy’s hosting gig because he wants to bring planking back due to the plethora of “floppy cores” he sees on the street.
Andy planks on Jimmy’s desk, and Jimmy planks on top of him to create the especially rare, Double Plank.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (September 26, 2014) (link)
The Lonely Island’s headquarters are in the old office of singer, Babyface.
Babyface left a white piano in the office, so the Lonely Island boys put a signed photo of Babyface on the piano and left it in the office.
Andy has a screening room in his office, where he and the others frequently re-watch movies they’ve seen a million times way too late at night.
NOTE: In this same episode, Andy details a horror camping trip experience. I was unable to locate this footage due to European copyright laws. 
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (September 25, 2014)
Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook Assistance (link)
Andy’s Facebook account was set up by Mark Zuckerberg, and to this day, Zuckerberg is his only friend on his Facebook.
Andy started getting unwarranted emails and friend requests from Zuckerberg’s friends, so he texted Zuckerberg for tech support.
Andy Samberg’s Umami Partnership (link)
Recently won a Golden Globe.
Umami, a burger chain in L.A. approached Andy about designing a burger “because the syllable ‘burg’ was in his name.”
Andy had the idea to put the ingredients of a Chicago hot dog on a burger, partly because of his fellow Lonely Island member, Akiva Schaffer’s Chicago dog obsession. Sometimes this obsession compels Andy & co. to visit Joe Mantegna’s Chicago-style restaurant in Burbank.
Brought two “Samburgers” for him and Jimmy to try on-air.
Jimmy and Andy discuss other potential Umami collaborations including the Whoopiburger.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (March 11, 2014) (link)
Seth spoke to Andre Braugher at the Emmy’s, who solemnly admitted to learning a lot from Andy. 
Seth was presenting with Julie Bowen at the Golden Globes in a category for which Andy was nominated. 
When Julie saw Andy’s name in the winning envelope, she let Seth read it aloud, who proceeded to show a level of enthusiasm on par to that of a father for Andy. 
Andy met Seth’s dog Frisbee when it was two months old and immediately disliked it because he said it looked like a rat. He also told Seth’s wife that he had seen rocks that were cuter than Frisbee.
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Ellen Page - September 26, 2017
Past Conan Appearances:
October 7, 2015 - 
Naming Plants (link)
People started sending Page pictures of their pets and plants via Twitter, asking her to name them.
She describes her cacti-naming powers as visceral and the words of God. 
Coming Out and LGBT+ Activism (link)
Page announced she was gay at a human rights conference.
A year later, she was presented with the Vanguard Award by the HRC for her activism for LGBT+ rights and equality, for which she also had to give a speech. 
The nature of her nerves for these two speeches were very different.
She is grateful to the HRC because they’ve provided her with opportunities in her current life (i.e. having a girlfriend whom she loves and can fantasize about a future with). 
Freeheld, the film she was promoting at the time, is about a lesbian woman who is denied the right to give her girlfriend pension benefits after she is diagnosed with stage IV cancer. 
Page couldn’t imagine being in the closet and playing this role. 
Characters in the film are based on real people. 
Conan Stand-Up Routine (link)
When she was 23, Page made a submission tape of her stand up for Conan’s show and posted it on YouTube. 
Her first joke was about an anarchist who won’t eat honey because she disagrees with the politics of the hive. 
The second joke was about how one side of the Canadian coin is the queen’s face, while the other is a beaver. 
May 23, 2014 - 
Dreams (link)
Wrote on Twitter about analyzing her dreams.
Has a lot of anxiety-filled dreams about having a strongly excessive amount of pubic hair. 
(Conan mentions his mother-in-law is skilled at interpreting dreams.)
Page had a dream that her and Justin Bieber, a fellow Canadian, were spending time in his Canadian abode, when his mom returned to the house with take out food from Ikea, much to the excitement of Page and Bieber.
A lookalike website matched Bieber to one of Page’s old photos.
Fight scenes + Superpowers (link)
Her character in X-Men is Kitty Pride, a character which does not participate in fight scenes.
One of her friends, who holds a double blackbelt in karate, showed her how to knock someone out while barely touching them (if at all). The friend demonstrated this trick on the waiter. 
June 4, 2013 - 
Juggling + Environmentalism (link)
Learned how to juggle because she spent too much time on film sets and had no friends and demonstrated her juggling talents on-air.
Promoting The East, a film about a group of activists who are passionate about going after evil corporations, but there is an outsider trying to infiltrate their group. 
Activists in the film practice Freeganism, which involves completely removing oneself from capitalism (i.e. taking food from a dumpster, preparing and eating it).
In preparation for this role and in line with her own environmental interests, Page spent two weeks at Lost Valley, practicing Permaculture, which involves living in a cyclical manner that mirrors nature.
Canadian Identity (link)
Page is a native Nova Scotian, so it makes her comfortable that hockey is becoming more popular in L.A.
Found a McLobster sandwich in Nova Scotia, which are apparently sold during certain points in the summer.
Page used to play hockey.
Other talk show appearances (sorted in reverse chronological order):
The Late Late Show with James Corden (March 1, 2016) (link)
Page used to write fake love letters to pretend people, and she always signed the letters as “Jordan.”
After coming out, she realizes this Jordan character may have been foreshadowing her lesbian identity.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (May 28, 2013) (link)
Promoting The East.
Page was wearing a Keith Richards shirt, but she confesses she’s never met Keith Richards and she’s not a diehard Rolling Stones fan.
She took Latin in school for one year, but all she knows how to say is one set of verb conjugations.
Wants to get another dog after the passing of hers, but she explains it’s difficult because she moves around so much.
When she was 3, her aunt put Page in charge of taking care of her rabbit. but while her aunt was away, Page was bitten by the rabbit on her toe, and the rabbit died before the aunt returned. 
Page enjoys activities like roller skating and running.
Page does not believe she could be a politician.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (April 6, 2011) (link)
She thinks she should try more drugs for their romantic nature. 
Page describes herself as a vegan except for that non-vegan food she catches and prepares with her own hands. 
Her mom has a maple leaf tattoo on her back, which confirms Ferguson’s theory that Canadians are aroused by their own flag.
When she was camping, Page heard a moose and its baby outside her tent. 
She reads a lot of environmental nonfiction books, and one of the best books she had recently read was Patti Smith’s memoir.
Went to Portugal when she was 16 and had a half-shaved head. There she saw a skeleton dance to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and a monkey riding on the back of a llama.
Confesses to stealing a car after she saw Gone in Sixty Seconds.
Page never goes shopping, and her apartment is so ornate that when she came to Craig’s stole, she stole the mug and that was the only one she had in her house.
Plot of the film, Super: A man with a drug-addicted wife has to figure out a way to save her, which requires him to seek Page out as a superhero. 
The Late Show with David Letterman (March 31, 2011) (link)
Promoting Super
Letterman was the first talk show she ever did.
In her first interview with Letterman, she mentioned she lived in an ex-brothel in Halifax, but this was a mistake because everyone (even a drunk homeless man) knew where she lived. 
The largest explosion before the Atomic bomb occurred in Halifax, and some of the remnants from this destruction are still visible in the city. 
Spends every day in the summer swimming in new lakes.
After she made Juno, she travelled across Eastern Europe with her friend, and the two of them decided to try a new kind of absinthe in every place. 
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (July 16, 2010) (link)
Mentions that Nova Scotia is a Latin phrase meaning “new Scotland,” and she remarks that she loves sweaters which contributes to her love for the gorgeous Nova Scotia.
She has worked on farms in the past, but boats mildly scare her.
Has two rescue dogs (who have since died) but she leaves her dogs in Nova Scotia, jokingly because she doesn’t want them exposed to L.A. drugs.
Her Beagle nick-named Joobie Doobie has a punctured nipple that hangs low. 
Confesses to cussing more than people may expect.
Her father was born in the south shore of Nova Scotia.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (July 15, 2010) (link)
Shares two Nova Scotia fun facts. The first of which is that it has more bars per capita than any other place in North America. The second was that it has the second largest harbor in the world, besides Sydney Australia. 
Page doesn’t drink a lot. 
Leonardo DiCaprio has never visited her at her home in Halifax.
When she was at Lost Valley, she made “lasagna-style” stacked piles of compost, which included urine. She broke down the stench with sawdust and carbon post.
She additionally used to sleep walk frequently, and she once woke up in a hotel hallway in her underwear at the age of 11. 
During a sleep talking episode, she once said something inappropriate and cruel to her boyfriend. 
Believed her house to be haunted because items would just vanish, which is especially noticeable considering the minimalist style of her home. 
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Jackie Chan - September 13, 2017
Past Appearances with Conan:
Late Night with Conan O’Brien:
April 2 1999 (link)
Promoting Twin Dragons
He feels foolish for performing his own stunts when he sees stunt doubles in American movies.
He uses real glass in his films (as opposed to the sugar glasses used in American film stunts), and one time during shooting he got glass stuck in his butt.
He doesn’t stop shooting when he gets injured; once he had to jump to a “hoovercraft” in a film, and he heard his bone crack, but once he confirmed the cameraman got the shot, he popped his bone back into place.
After he went to the hospital for a broken leg, he returned to shooting and used a one-legged wheelchair for a tight shot of him running.
(Taught Conan how to punch)
Due to his constant international travel, he’s become better at packing for hotels, so now he only brings two pairs of underwear and no socks, and he’s begun stealing soap and shower caps from his hotel rooms.
(Does a stunt trick using a pillow with Conan, and Conan pulls out a gun)
June 15, 2004 (link)
Promoting Around the World in 80 Days
Hates that Conan introduces him with a kicking/punching motion (repeatedly mentions this throughout interviews).
In China, he is known for singing Mandarin love songs.
He enjoys performing stunts to American rock songs, even though he doesn’t understand the words.
He learns the lyrics to American songs to help improve his English.
Growing up, he had a dream to have his own superhero chamber (i.e. Batcave), so his home in Hong Kong has many different secret passageways that lead to different rooms.
Despite having a swimming pool (with a pole leading into it), a training room, and a ping pong table, he still dreams of having an airplane. Conan dreams of having a hose that spews chocolate milk.
Chan is a big Lakers fan because he likes to support the underdog, but he’s been disappointed with them lately.
Other talk show appearances (sorted in chronological order):
Late Show with David Letterman (February 13, 1996) (link)
First appearance on Late Show with David Letterman
He bought all new clothes for the interview because everyone raved about what a big deal Letterman was and insisted that he “kick Letterman’s butt.”
Did a glass-shattering stunt on top of Letterman’s desk.
Details his injuries as his own stuntman including three broken noses, four broken bones in his hands, a broken shoulder, and a broken ankle.
Recounts his near-death experience in Yugoslavia (mentions this in several different interviews), which occurred when he jumped off a castle onto a tree, but the tree broke and he fell and hit his head. As a result, he still has a hole in his skull.
When he broke his ankle during shooting, he made sure the cameraman got the shot, and then he got rushed to the hospital. (Another recurring topic in his interviews)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (May 24, 2000) (link)
Promoting Shanghai Noon
He came out riding a horse dressed as a cowboy, which prompted a conversation about his fear of horses after all of his stuntmen friends lied about being able to ride horses and all get injured attempting it.
He’s always wanted to work with Steven Spielberg and other directors especially talented in the field of special effects.
He met with Spielberg and asked him how he accomplishes such amazing special effects, so Spielberg showed him the computer technology, which took about three minutes. After Spielberg asked how the “effects” work in Chan’s movies, he told him that the cameraman just starts rolling and he starts performing.
Chan’s mom cries when his box office ratings are good, and she cried when she found out he’d be on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
When he cracked his skull in Yugoslavia, he was there getting treated for seven days, and then he spent ten days in a French hospital.
The news of his injury reached his mom in Australia, but he lied to his mom and told her the pictures were just promotion tools for the film.
Later, his mom asked to see his scar, but he showed her the wrong side of his head, so to this day, she still doesn’t know about this injury.
After Sylvester Stallone sent Chan a first-class ticket from Hong Kong to L.A. to watch his premiere from the red carpet, Chan prayed that one day he would have his own film premiere.
Late Show with David Letterman (August 2, 2007) (link)
Promoting Rush Hour 3
He discusses his past injuries, including when he flipped a table, which landed on his chest, so he had to go to the hospital.
He jokes that his worst injury was when he was at the Eiffel Tower and was supposed to catch a falling man for a stunt, but the man fell and injured Chan’s finger. Later, he fell asleep on an airplane with a blanket covering him, but the way he was holding his injured fingers upright made him look like he had an erection, so the flight attendant thought he was a pervert.
When he was 18, he and three of his martial arts “brothers” got in a fight with bikers, which resulted in one of his bones popping through his hand. He didn’t want to go to the police for fear of getting in trouble, but after several days, the bone popped out and he realized it was a tooth.
As he’s gotten more famous, his privileges have gotten greater, so he got a private elevator in the Eiffel Tower and the rights to turn on/off the lights.
He dislikes making American movies because he doesn’t know the formula/why audiences laugh, so he just follows whatever the filmmakers tell him.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (April 16, 2008) (link)
Hates when people mimic Kung Fu for his introductions. (Recurring topic)
Ferguson suggests that he do a British drama to break the martial arts mimicking.
Chan says that action movies are more difficult to act in than dramas.
Chan says people never try to fight him on the street.
Chan was born in a poor family, and when his parents had to go to Australia, they sent him to a strict boarding school where he was trained to fight.
At his boarding school, everyday he had to do 1,000 punches, 1,000 kicks, as well as sing and dance. 
He was terrified of his teachers hitting and punishing him at his school, so much so that he was still scared of his 80 year old teachers when he was 17 and twice their age.
Told near-death Yugoslavia story (Recurring topic)
Let Ferguson feel the hole in his skull that resulted from his Yugoslavia experience.
Jake’s Takes (with Jake Hamilton) (May 28, 2010) (link)
(Interview promoting The Karate Kid with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith)
Smith shows Hamilton how to break his leg, but Chan doesn’t believe Smith gave sound advice.
Chan told Hamilton the interview was getting “too violent.”
The first interview Hamilton ever conducted was with Chan, who told him, “Don’t worry. Chill out. We’re just going to talk.”
Chan kept reminding Smith to stay focused because he didn’t want him to get hurt, and Smith’s attention span was short because he was young.
According to Chan, Smith learned the fighting choreography quickly.
Chan came to America thirty years ago, and he couldn’t speak any English, so when he stayed in a hotel by himself he couldn’t order or do anything at all.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show (October 6, 2010) (link)
Discusses his apparel line, which includes clothing, shoes and socks.
Hates when people introduce him with kicking and punching, (recurring topic) because (as he’s mentioned in prior interviews) “no one would do that to Robert DeNiro.”
Chan sent Pinkberry to Ellen’s crew, so she makes him call 411 and try to get connected to Pinkberry, but they cannot understand him, so he hangs up.
Chan tells Ellen the key to her becoming a popular singer in Asia is for her to speak Mandarin.
Chan sings a (fabulous) rendition of Elvis’ “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”
When Chan retires, he wishes to be a singer. He confesses that in another life, he wouldn’t want to be an action star. 
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Heather Graham - September 11, 2017
Conan appearances:
May 17, 2013
Sex empowerment (link)
Wrote screenplay about people who are raised Catholic and taught to believe they will be sinners if they have pre-martial sex. 
Attended female empowerment classes for script research, in which she had to “honor women’s breasts” and learned about the possibility of an hour-long orgasm. 
Twitter + Yoga (link)
Joined Twitter in April 2013
Struck a yoga pose while Conan held a coffee cup over her, and Andy took their picture. 
Other talk show appearances (sorted in chronological order):
Rachael Ray (November 8, 2016) (link)
Promoting her movie My Dead Boyfriend, in which she had to learn to play base, even though she confesses she’s not at all musically talented.
She discusses the other instances she had to learn a skill for a movie, including learning to roller skate for Boogie Nights and learning to swing dance for Swingers. 
Learned to tango with her boyfriend while visiting her friends in Maine.
My Dead Boyfriend was directed by Anthony Edwards, who also directed Top Gun. 
Wrote and directed the movie Half Magic, which she describes as the “most fulfilling thing she’s ever done.” 
Following wrap on Half Magic, she’s writing another film.
Confesses her love of the show Key and Peele.
The Today Show (November 3, 2016) (link)
Promotes My Dead Boyfriend as a dark comedy set in the ‘90s in which she comes home to find her boyfriend (played by John Corbett) dead in the living room.
Exposes herself as a huge fan of Sex and the City, so during filming of the movie, she couldn’t stop seeing Corbett as Aidan. 
Discusses Corbett’s “very cool” girlfriend, Bo Derek, who she met on set.
The Today Show (April 3, 2015) (link)
Reprises her role as Corrine Dollanganger in If There Be Thornes, the third installment of a Lifetime series. 
Had to spend 3 hours in makeup in order to transform into her old woman character.
Recently went on yoga vacation and someone took photos of her and her boyfriend on the beach.
During their yoga vacation, her boyfriend injured his knee, so he got treated by two doctors in bikinis by the poolside. 
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (May 20, 2013) (link)
Promoting The Hangover Part III, in which she pays a pregnant, suburban mom.
In real life, she describes herself as a mix of a suburban mom and a stripper.
She would never go on Dancing with the Stars, but she loves dancing and she knows how to swing and salsa dance.
Was visiting Brazil on the Hangover promotion tour, and confessed her desire to go to Argentina to learn the tango, but she was unable to because she was shooting Californication with David Duchovny.
She used to be a nerd and have braces and headgear, so when men find her attractive, she still feels like a nerd on the inside.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (September 12, 2012) (link)
Promoting a film called About Cherry, in which she plays a lesbian pornography director. 
About Cherry was shot on a real porn set, so she got exposed to a lot of porn while shooting the film. 
Discusses her lesbian sex scene in About Cherry, but confirms she does not do nudity in the film.
Also affiliated with film that was shown at the Toronto Film Festival.
Worked in a film with Selena Gomez, so she got to meet Justin Bieber when he showed up on set to visit his then-girlfriend, Gomez.
She shares a birthday with Oprah and Checkhov.
Her dream vacation is one where she gets to lay on the beach and do yoga for three hours a day. Sometimes, she does yoga for up to five hours a day.
Travelled to St. Petersburg, Russia and visited the home of Dostoyevsky because she enjoys the dark humor in his books. 
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (June 8, 2011) (link)
Wearing a necklace designed by her friend, Jessica Robinson
Although she plays a horrible driver in Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer, she describes herself as an excellent driver in real life. 
The Obamas screened Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer at the White House, so she was trying to present herself as especially appealing during the interview, so they would invite her over for the screening. 
Works with a charity called the Cambodian Children’s Fund, and sponsors children through the charity. 
Describes her travel experiences that allow her to describe herself as a “world traveller” including her recent trip to Paris with her boyfriend, her trip to Edinburgh, and her trip to Tibet during which she the Potala Palace, the home of the Dalai Lama prior to his exile. 
She never searches herself on Google because she is afraid.
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Elle Fanning - June 20, 2017
Conan appearances:
January 13, 2017  
1920′s Undergarments (link)
When she starred in Live By Night, a film set in Tampa in the 1920′s, she had to wear very authentic clothes down to the underwear and socks.
Fanning said the underwear had a musty smell that was reminiscnet of ‘20′s apparel.
Lying (link)
In the film 20th Century Women, Fanning’s character was a woman named Julie who lies a lot.
Fanning herself is a very honest person.
Sometimes when she is in Ubers, since her account is not under her real name and the drivers hardly recognize her, she gets to make up her life stories.
Runway Walk (link)
In the move Neon Demon, she played a runway model, so she taught Conan how to do a signature runway walk.
According to Fanning, as a runway model, you can’t smile or swing your arms, and you have to arch your back so that your legs look longer.
December 19, 2011 (Fanning’s First Time on Conan)
Growing Pains, Start of Acting Career, and Favorite Food (link)
Fanning came on the show during her school’s winter break (she was 13 at the time).
Fanning discusses her major growth spurt, in which she grew seven inches in a year and experienced serious knee pain because of it. 
Her first acting debut was in a commercial for Smuckers when she was 2.
During the shooting of her Smuckers commercial, she was supposed to spit out the snacks, but she ate them all.
After Conan reveals his obsession with cheese, Fanning admits that her favorite food is Cobb salad, even though she mostly likes the bleu cheese, bacon, and chicken.
We Bought a Zoo (link)
One of her first movies in which she has a love interest.
Her character, Lilly, doesn’t have many friends because she lives in a zoo.
Since Lilly’s best friends are animals and she understands animals better than humans, the We Bought a Zoo director instructed Fanning to approach her love interest like he was a lion. 
Other talk show appearances (sorted in chronological order)
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (June 20, 2017)
College (link)
Fanning decided not to attend college after her high school graduation, but many people from her class went.
Her friends who went to college think the idea of her attending is hilarious because she is so oblivious to many nuisances of college life (i.e. living in a dorm). 
When she shot Beguiled in New Orleans, she got to visit her friend who was attending Tulane. 
The friend she was visiting had hit his head on a post and busted his head open the night before she came, but he was still planning on going out the next night.
Easter Traditions (link)
Fanning still lives at home with her parents, but she hopes by next summer she will have her own place.
If it were up to her mother, Elle would live at home forever.
Her family recently sold her childhood home, and the family who bought it purchased most of the original furniture as well.
Fanning reminisces on a couch that had never been sat on and was always in plastic wrap, per her mother’s request. 
The first person who ever sat on the couch was Robert De Niro when he and his family came over to the Fanning house for Easter.
Her mom ordered pizza for the De Niro family, but once they got to the house, the De Niros said they had already eaten.
Her family has an Easter egg hunt every year, where they hide regular Easter eggs along with a golden egg that is filled with money.
When Robert De Niro’s family came, her mother insisted that Fanning let De Niro’s kids get the golden egg. 
She also mentions her film Beguiled, which is set in the Civil War.
Colin Farrell is the only man in Beguiled, which made him the object of affection in the film.
Because he was naked in many scenes, he had to watch his weight, which caused him to become obsessed with hamburgers.
One day Fanning saw Farrell looking at photos of hamburgers on his phone, and Farrell made Fanning give him an in-depth description of a hamburger she ate.
Sofia Coppola, the director, put together a sexy calendar of Colin Farrell gardening.
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (December 15, 2016) (link)
During the 2016 summer, Fanning went to a Beyoncé concert with her friend and ended up getting seated next to Channing Tatum and his wife. 
Fanning asked someone to take a picture of her and her friend with Channing Tatum in the background, but it was a very blurry picture.
Fanning is also a huge fan of Survivor.
Fanning saw Jeff Probst at a coffee shop and sent a picture of him to all her friends.
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (September 2, 2015) (link)
At the time, Fanning was starting her senior year in high school.
Fanning mentions the privileges of being a senior, including sitting on the senior patio, Senior Prank Day, and Senior Prom.
Elle mentions that when Dakota was a senior, for Prank Day, she put Vaseline on all the doorknobs, tied all the lockers shut, and stole all the scissors, so no one could open their lockers.
Fanning recently got her senior photos taken, and she got the “beauty shot package,” which involved sitting in front of a background of fake blue clouds.
Miscellaneous clips and interviews
Hollywire TV (June 19, 2017) (link)
During the filming of Beguiled, Fanning says she became very close with Kirsten Dunst, and that the two of them would have sleepovers.
The whole Beguiled crew secretly recorded a song from Hamilton.
Fanning had to take etiquette lessons for the film, which taught her that the proper way to move your skirt is by swooping it to the side and holding it with your right hand so that you didn’t show your ankles.
Fanning loved the fashion in Beguiled, and she said it resembled fashion from the 1970s.
ScreenSlam (June 11, 2017) (link)
Fanning mentions that her character in Beguiled was especially promiscuous because she wore her hair down and occasionally showed her corset.
Her character in the film was becoming extremely bored in her all girls’ school, so when Colin Farrell shows up, he gives her an “awakening,” mainly because she hasn’t seen a man in so long.
The etiquette coach hired for the film taught them the proper way to pass a pitcher.
For the film, she had to be trained in dance from that time period.
Fanning also mentions that the directing style of Sofia Coppola (who according to Fanning is a close friend) is very in-charge, but in a soft and elegant way.
In the film, Nicole Kidman plays the “head mistress” of the all girls’ school.
Fanning mentions that Kidman had an intensity on set that made everyone stand up straighter. 
In one scene, Colin Farrell had to frighten all the women, and he really did in real life because his angry character was so different than who he was in real life. 
Farrell’s character is a wounded Union soldier, who gets taken in and nursed by this household of women, despite how much trouble they could all get in.
Fanning had to wear a corset every day for the film, and had to be re-measured for the corset daily as well.
One of her favorite scenes of the film was when the women allowed Farrell to join them for some apple pie.
The film was only shot in two locations, one of which being their house.
People (May 19, 2017) (link)
One outfit Fanning cannot live without is Dr. Seuss pajama bottoms and a red Gap shirt that she got in trouble for cutting. 
Fanning shares some of her beauty tips, which include protecting your skin with sunscreen and refraining from plucking your eyebrows.
She always keeps lip balm and mascara in her purse, especially considering her eye lashes need to be “tamed” frequently. 
Vanity Fair (February 21, 2017) (link)
Since Fanning is trained in ballet, she demonstrates how to do a pique turn. 
One of her tips is to pretend that someone is pulling you up by yanking on your bun. 
Vanity Fair (February 2, 2017) (link) 
(This clip starred Dakota Fanning as well.)
Elle hasn’t seen Hamilton, but she believes there should be a Hamilton-inspired musical about Amelia Earhart. 
If Elle could spend a day with Beyoncé, she would go road tripping and be beekeepers together.
One of her favorite movies is Grease.
When she was young, she would watch Grease and act out all of Sandy’s lines by herself. 
W Magazine Screen Tests with Lynn Hirschberg (September 19, 2016) (link)
Fanning has been “sensitive lately,” which she knows because she’s been crying while watching Say Yes to the Dress.
Another thing that makes her cry is watching old clips of her sister Dakota as a young girl on talk shows.
Elle has a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio, so when she saw him at the Met Ball, she desperately tried to get his attention, but it didn’t work.
Her sister, Dakota, is friends with Katy Perry.
When she played Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, in a movie, she had a scene where she had to make out with her husband. 
When her husband in the film took off her top, her corset was exposed, and she mentioned that a lot goes into making a corset look good on camera (predominantly chicken cutlets). 
She also loves Cate Blanchett, and has starred in two films with her (once as her daughter and once as the younger version of Blanchett’s character).
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Aubrey Plaza - June 19, 2017
Recent Conan appearances:
March 15, 2017 - 
Her role as Lenny Busker on Legion (link)
The role of Lenny was originally meant to be played by a middle-aged man. 
At the time she met with Legion writer, Noah Hawley, she had just recently torn her ACL and was on crutches, which potentially contributed to Hawley’s perception that she could play an angry male character. 
When Legion first premiered, she had just finished a day of filming and went to a bar to watch the episode, but no one around her recognized she was in the show. 
Red Hair (link)
For her film Ingrid Goes West, she had to die her hair red, which then prompted her to learn various facts about redheads, including the fact that redheads turn into vampires after they die. 
Playing a Page (link)
Plaza played an NBC page on the show “30 Rock.”
Her role on the show was to introduce a tour group to the set of Late Night with Conan O’Brien. 
Plaza was a page in real life for SNL and NBC, so for her 30 Rock appearance she wore the same uniform.
June 27, 2016
Her Birthday (June 26) (link)
Plaza hates her birthday because it makes her feel depressed about what she has not and will never get to do. 
During her 2016 birthday, she watched one episode of Game of Thrones without watching any more from the series.
When she was on Anna Faris is Unqualified, there was a Parks and Rec reunion and she got birthday cupcakes.
Singing and Dancing (link)
She was forced to do a closing musical number for Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.
She hates singing and dancing.
During her dance training, she remembered that when she was young, she competed in Irish River Dancing.
She attributes her awkwardness to the fact that she was trained in a dance that requires a straight face and minimal arm movement. 
Mike and Dave Pranks (link)
When Mike and Dave was being shot, there were still real guests staying at the hotel at which the film was shot. 
Plaza’s co-star, Sugar Lyn Beard, thought it would be entertaining to scare guests with gruesome makeup, which led to the production team being warned that cast members cannot harass hotel guests. 
April 3, 2015
Audrey’s Mom + Airbnb (link)
Plaza’s mom booked an Airbnb, but the owner of the apartment failed to mention that he would be sleeping on the couch.
Her mom still wanted to stay there because the owner offered to take her bungee jumping. 
Religious Upbringing (link)
Plaza grew up very Catholic.
She has a memory of seeing a seven-foot tall Easter Bunny placing Easter presents in her home.
Hormonal and Spiritual Unrest (link)
Plaza had recently been finding lots of bug bites all over her body.
Attributes bug bites to a “spiritual problem” and to the fact that she’s been “really hormonal lately” 
Another way she’s noticed her hormones acting up is that she found herself repeatedly singing the words “kill” and “die.”
August 14, 2014
Summer (link)
Aubrey was the maid of honor for a wedding and was tasked with buying all the party supplies.
She purchased exclusively penis paraphernalia, including a cake that was so graphic, the show couldn’t air it.
Her mom opened up the box of penis paraphernalia and “loved it.”
For the party, two random strangers from the street were hired to be strippers. 
Abdominal Injury (link)
While she was shooting, Plaza had to carry an oven on her back, which caused her to rip her abdominal wall.
She got her injury treated in London while she was shooting Parks and Rec by an “old-timey” English doctor. 
Photobomb (link)
Photo recently emerged of Aubrey photobombing Katy Perry and Hillary Clinton.
Plaza joked that after the photobomb, Hillary confided in her that she was running for president. 
February 12, 2014
Hugging (link)
Conan addressed a paparazzi photo of Aubrey and Amy Poehler hugging with Aubrey’s legs wrapped around Amy’s.
Plaza explaiined that she has a tendency to wrap her legs around people when she hugs them, which led to her grandpa calling her “Monkey” and giving her a monkey toy every year for Christmas. 
Chris Bosh (link)
Plaza frequently tweets about her obsession with Miami Heat player Chris Bosh. 
When he had a cameo on Parks and Rec, she hid in his trailer in hopes of meeting him. 
She thought it would be funny to disguise herself as his hair dresser, but he didn’t recognize her, so she actually styled his hair.
Posted a photo of her and Bosh on her Twitter hoping he would reply.
Apocalypse Preparation (link)
Plaza recently shot a zombie movie, which prompted Conan to ask if she had plans in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Plaza admitted she is always prepared for an apocalypse because she sleeps with a dagger on her bedside table.
Plaza conducts a weekly shanking drill in the event her home is invaded by a zombie or a murderer.
She likes to surround herself with people who have skills that would be useful in an apocalypse, so she gifted her boyfriend helicopter lessons for his birthday.
Conan offered to take flying lessons for her.
Other talk show appearances (sorted in chronological order)
Late Night with Seth Meyers (March 1, 2017)
Legion (link)
She had to wear a harness when her character died.
Inspired by her superhero show, Plaza said her superpower would be that when she ate something extremely spicy, her head would explode.
Legion is part of X-men universe.
One of her inspirations for her character, Lenny, was David Bowie.
The middle name of her character is Cornflakes, so she jokes that Lenny Cornflakes Busker sounds like the name of a stripper. 
The creator of Legion also created the FX show Fargo. 
The Little Hours and Ingrid Goes West (link)
Produced and starred in the films, which will both be featured at Sundance.
Researched for her role as a nun in The Little Hours by reading a Bible that she stole from her hotel room. 
One of the producers of Ingrid Goes West sought out a condemned house for them to shoot in. 
Late Show with Stephen Colbert (February 24, 2017) (link)
Plaza has two rescue dogs named Stevie and Frankie, and she joked that she likes Frankie more. 
Plaza attended Catholic school from Kindergarten through twelfth grade. 
Her role as a nun in The Little Hours was especially fun for her because she “loves uniforms” ever since she wore one at Catholic school.
Plaza was a member of 4-H, which is a program for kids that encourages knowledge of agricultural skills.
Despite growing up in Wilmington, Delaware, which is a city, Aubrey has had farm experiences, such as sheering a sheep. 
Plaza was about to receive Alumni Medallion award for her participation in 4-H.
Late Night with Seth Meyers (January 22, 2016) (link)
In the movie Dirty Grandpa, Plaza was initially asked to play the love interest of Zac Efron, but she was hellbent on securing the part of DeNiro’s love interest.
For her Dirty Grandpa audition, Plaza threw out the script, said a bunch of dirty things into the camera, and then flashed her butt.
Although Dirty Grandpa is the story of a romance between a 70 year old man and a 20 year old woman, Plaza sees the movie as a love story where DeNiro has “met his match.”
Before the movie started, DeNiro gave the entire cast a bottle of wine and a encouraging note. In order to repay him for this gift, Plaza gave him a book of Zen Buddhism with a raunchy picture of her inside.
When Plaza and DeNiro shot their love scene, her bra had been rigged to pop off for a scene that was scrapped last minute, so as soon as DeNiro made a move towards her breasts, her bra flung off. 
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (January 20, 2016)
ACL and Wine Tasting (link)
Plaza tore her ACL playing basketball and initially had to be in a wheelchair.
For her gay best friend’s bachelor party, she went to a wine tasting in a wheelchair, and her friend was wearing a Santa suit, so the other wine tasting guests were afraid of their party.
Robert DeNiro’s Nipples (note from author: That is the first time I’ve ever gotten to use that as the title for a bullet point. It’s a big day.) (link)
The day she filmed her sex scene with Robert DeNiro lasted nine hours. 
The director of Dirty Grandpa instructed her to suck on DeNiro’s nipples, but as soon as she tried it, DeNiro’s agent informed the director did not like his “nipple region” toyed with. 
One of her proudest moments of shooting was when DeNiro complimented her acting after she was instructed to throw up and try to kiss him. 
The Late Late Show with James Corden (March 31, 2015) (link)
Plaza studied abroad during college in Ghana at a documentary film program.
Her roommate in Ghana was a legitimate pirate named Jenny who was “straight off a boat from the Caribbean” and was always looking for treasure.
Miscellaneous interviews and clips
Gold Derby (June 14, 2017) (link)
Plaza was skeptical of the show Legion at first because she did not know where her character would end up.
Plaza was unfamiliar with the comic book Legion was based on before she started filming the show.
Plaza wanted to play the “villain that you love or that you like to hate.”
Plaza admits that sometimes playing Lenny Busker felt like playing completely different characters on totally different shows.
The Wrap (May 16, 2017) (link)
Before she was famous, Plaza performed improv at Upright Citizens Brigade Theater (UCB) in New York.
Some of the people she met at UCB included Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Bobby Moinyhan, Donald Glover, Ben Schwartz, Kate McKinnon, Jenny Sate, Matt Walsh, Abby Jacobson, Zach Woods, Ellie Kemper, and T.J. Miller.
Off Camera with Sam Jones (August 12, 2016) (link)
Aubrey thinks she is the “worst talk show guest ever.”
She gets very uncomfortable going from a pre-interview to pretending that she’s having the conversation for the very first time.
She “can’t tell” when she’s making people uncomfortable.
Another unsettling part of talk shows for her is the fact that she has to be herself and she cannot perform as a character or a persona. 
Her work in Dirty Grandpa was especially challenging because she had to make sure their unconventional relationship didn’t come across as “disgusting.”
Robert DeNiro was initially scared of her because of her character’s makeup, but as soon as he saw her not in character, he warmed up to her.
Teen Hag Trailer (February 10, 2008) (link)
Spoof of Teen Wolf trailer, where Plaza plays a high school girl, who transforms into a hag.
Despite her gruesome appearance, the hag earns praise and popularity from her high school peers.
John Milhiser also stars in the trailer. 
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