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catholicstrongman · 10 months
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I need a lifeline, or I'm gonna fall
Down to the pit, where I used to crawl
Hopeless, lifeless, without meaning
No purpose
No light
I wish I could've said "Please give me the grace to change."
I wish I could've laid down my pride like I am able to do now.
I wish I had even had the words.
They never came to me, my tongue was caught in my throat, all I could do was sob.
Now, I have found better.
Now I have the one who has stayed by me as I've changed.
I have hurt her. I have been unsafe.
I have changed. I was given the grace and time to do so.
Time has changed me.
I hope it has changed you too.
Sometimes I wonder if things could've been different.
They probably could have.
And as I hear the stories, sometimes see the posts, I hope you're happy.
Because I am trying to be, even with this deep sorrow that weighs on my
This pain comes to my heart frequently, it rears its ugly head on a daily basis
I shove it down, but it comes back.
I will accept it. And offer it to Christ.
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catholicstrongman · 10 months
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I am tired, Lord.
I am wed, yet I hurt
I am happy, yet full of sorrow
I am missing something
I am missing your fullness
I am missing faith, at times
I am missing my old love, at others
I miss the moments, how hopeful they seemed
I miss the dreams we had, even though I will fulfill them with my wife
I promised to follow you, and I haven't done so properly
I have failed you and fell many times
Bring me back to your light
Bring me back to your joy
Bring me reconciliation, and let the joy of your friendship, hope, and love, come back into my soul.
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catholicstrongman · 10 months
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“When you give your heart away, you usually get it back in pieces, fragments. And often, a great deal of time passes before you realize that every piece wasn’t returned to you—and probably never will be. You crave nothing more than to get those small—but vital—fragments back; to return to the unbroken, undamaged version of yourself. But what’s been broken cannot be unbroken, and so all you can do is learn to live with the void of the missing pieces, to somehow find beauty in the wreckage.”
— Krystal McLean, My Darrling
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catholicstrongman · 10 months
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I don't understand anymore why my heart still hurts. Why a breakup from two years ago hurts more than I have ever felt, and probably ever will. Why it hurts me more now that I am married. I don't get it at all. I don't understand
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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Why does heartbreak have to hurt so much. Especially after finding new love. Its been almost a year. And it hurts just as bad, if not worse, than that day. And even though I have new love, it doesn't negate the pain. I loved. With everything I had I loved. And it wasn't enough. I will never forget that. I will never be. I just want the pain gone. I wish God would do it in my way, not his. But that way would also lead to more loss. I want the knife to be pulled out and to actually have it discarded forever, not just sheathed until a later date
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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So many things remind me of you. I hate them all now.
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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“It’s been a long, hard road but I’ve finally found the closure I need to move on. I’ve learned to accept that my all is not always going to be enough and love is neither owed nor earned it either is or it’s not. I gave you the world, but you wanted the stars.”
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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When welcome to night vale said: Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first, and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us, we can cope with that. We can do this together you and I.
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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“Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.”
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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Today is....rough
A year ago, I was starting a relationship with someone I genuinely believed I would spend the rest of my life with. I was ecstatic. I was over the moon happy. .
And then the next thing I know, she's gone, and I'm heartbroken by her rejection of me.
Fast forward to now, and I'm in a new relationship with someone I genuinely love, Who wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
And I'm still hurting from a year ago.
Just because I'm happy doesn't mean my hurt is negated. In fact, in some ways it makes it worse. Because it is a tacit admittance that I was wrong in God's will for me, that my prayers ended up being fruitless, and that he let me get hurt in order to bring about a better thing. Is my current girlfriend so much better, less crazy, and genuinely submissive to me? Yes. And I'm learning how to love her properly. Do I still reel from trauma and pain and unresolved feelings regarding my ex? Yes.
One does not negate the other. But soon, it will.
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
— Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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“That’s all I want. Just you and me. Always.”
— Lauren Oliver, Delirium
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catholicstrongman · 2 years
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“When people walk away from you, let them go. You shouldn’t have to talk them into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, or coming to see you … For if they really cared about you in the first place, they would not be going anywhere.”
— Unknown
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