Do you know the uncomfortable feeling when you meet that person who’s about to mess up your life? It’s kind of funny and not everyone would believe it actually exists but I had it when I first met him. I love pasta so much and it was lunch but at that moment, I couldn’t eat. I ended up trying to stuff the food all in because it would be rude not to but that uneasy feeling inside me didn’t give me a rest. I never told anybody that, even to him. Well, truth be told, he did mess up my life. I was fine alone. A routine that I try not to miss, classes that can actually classify me as a nerd and poems I write about the love that hasn’t come to exist. I had friends. Just enough so I could hang out with people when I want to and have plenty of alone time. It was kind of lonely but I was fine. I didn’t look at him as someone I would fall in love with. I mean, he’s cute but he slouches even while walking. He doesn’t dress that well. I never had a “type” but I was pretty sure it wasn’t someone like him. He doesn’t talk to me a lot and maybe if it weren’t for my roommate, he wouldn’t know I exist. He loves these video games I kind of know because I have a couple of brothers who love them. I think I’m kind of all-over-the-place while he was this straight-laced boy. It wasn’t a likely combination. But I used the word “mess” twice and I think by now it’s pretty clear why I did. I never thought of kissing someone at 16. But you know, life hits you when you least expect it. And that was him. He made me do things I thought I would never do. He also made me cry a lot but damn, that boy made so mad in love that it felt like I was possessed. I think Cupid really was there and that arrow he shot right through me, it made me jump off a cliff even though I don’t have wings. It was a mess. It was pretty, yes, it was. And like all things pretty, it had to hurt. Nevertheless, I love every inch of it. Even the parts I used to hate. Even the moments I wish that never happened. Even the times when it was pure ugly. I loved every inch of it but it all went away. I don’t know where he is now or what he does or who he is with but I promised myself I would save him in my midnight skies. And I did. We are a star now. Dead and faraway but still glowing in the darkest of times. I don’t know if I will get to experience that kind of hit in the face once again. Maybe my heart won’t beat as ferociously as it did for anyone else other than him. I don’t know for sure but I know I will never forget my first love. I hope he doesn’t forget about me.

r.m.d

thebittermonosaccharide 

(via thelovejournals)

One day someone will walk into your life and get it right where everyone else got it wrong. One day you won’t have to wait for a call or a text back. One day you won’t be the only one giving your all. One day you’ll finally meet someone who wants to help you grow in life. One day you’ll finally meet someone who isn’t afraid to give “love” another chance. One day you’ll finally meet someone you can trust with everything. One day you’ll have your best friend, your biggest supporter and your teammate all wrapped up into one person.

IG@woodtheinspiration (via i-am-strong-all-on-my-own)

Moving on isn’t about forgetting them or not loving them anymore. It’s about admitting that although you may still love them, the relationship isn’t worth the pain, and you deserve better. And most important, it’s about learning to love yourself more than you love them. After this, you may stop loving them, and you may even forget them. But if you don’t, at least you won’t be sad anymore. Maybe just once in a while. You’ll be over them, because you’re in love with someone new — yourself.

@i-am-strong-all-on-my-own

(Adapted from quote by @motivated-mindset )

When you said goodbye at the end of my street, under the streetlight, it felt different. More permanent. Like you weren’t just saying goodbye to me, but to us. You said I made you sad and happy at once, I didn’t have to ask what that meant because I understood. I understand. Loving me is a curse and a blessing, cold and hot, nothing and everything at once. Loving me is hard, so when you said goodbye, I understood. I understand.

v.m (via writingboutyou)

I was the most beautiful rose in a garden full of them, and you picked me. How selfish of you to kill something so beautiful just so you could have it for yourself.

v.m (via writingboutyou)

You prefer my nails long and acrylic, rather than short and stubby. Rather than the ones I was born with. Rather than the ones I can make music with, the ones that can hold down the notes on my 6 string acoustic guitar, the notes that carry all of my emotions with them like a traveler with luggage. But the acrylic nails are pretty. You like pretty. I’m starting to wonder if you can hear the music.

v.m (via writingboutyou)

I tried to build walls around my heart which I call home, yet I never expected to see you coming like the strongest storm— lifting all the feelings I’m always longing for.

ma.c.a // Your name sounds like a hurricane (via vomitingwords)

Why do you fear love so much?

Honestly, it’s not that I fear falling in love; I am in love with many things in this world: I love animals, I love my family, I love food, I love myself… I may even fall in love with you someday. I’m not avoiding it, but what I do fear, however, is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they either don’t feel the same way or lied about who they really were. To me, that is how you die while still breathing and it’s so hard to pull yourself out of the heartbreak. The truth is that you’re never going to really know if you’re falling for the wrong person until it’s too late. That’s what I’m afraid of.

I’m just going to leave this here.

I miss you San Fran