cashmure
THE UGLINESS OF BEAUTY
the tragedy of aphrodite.
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I WANT...to write a capitol se.x work.er oc. NOT A TRAFFICKING VICTIM, but an actual consensual sw in the capitol who CHOOSES that job.
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so, reading online, i came across the case of a 19 year old girl who suffered from starvation-induced thalamic psychosis ( presenting confusion, auditory hallucinations and delusions after two weeks on a 100 kcal/day diet ) and it got me thinking about how annie's "madness" ( her psychological trauma and ptsd) might've been ehnanced by the starvation she probably was subjected to in the arena. because annie was most surely from a career district (not to say she might've been a career but there is a high chance she was), it puzzled me a bit that she'd come out alive with so much ptsd and what can only be described as psychotic outbreaks when other career victors did not. perhaps annie already had a genetic predisposition to mental illness? or the starvation did induce a type of psychosis that was too strong on her brain. idk it's an interesting concept though, because other careers have their own trauma but not like hers is presented in the books. and i want an explanation for it, so i'd really like to read what annie writers have to say about it!
#the psychological effects of the physical endurement these kids faced is something the books don't really talk about that much#like we see katniss' ptsd and that's great but annie's portrayal is kinda ableist and i would've loved to see more explained abou#about her mental state after the gamesç#and what caused it#and not her being portrayed as fragile bc of her ptsd
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CASHMERE FT. HER VERY LAST TRIBUTES TO MENTOR.
LETTER G IS FOR: GLIMMER (also requested by @glimmuhr)
glimmer is beautiful, and cashmere realizes she'd been fearing having a tribute that looks that good naked. so, when her stylists insist on having her wear a see-through disaster, cashmere knows what's to come.
cashmere grows to care for glimmer, which is something no victor should ever do when mentoring. the girl is fearless, she wants to eat the world and spit out its bones. so when she sees glimmer getting along with the boy from 2 in the arena, cashmere holds her breath in, waits for her to stab his gut between sloppy kisses.
cashmere told glimmer to hide if needed, just like beetee latier. she prays that, if she makes her unappealing, then maybe she will have a chance. she doubts it, though, after the see-through dress.
LETTER M IS FOR: MARVEL
cashmere can tell right away marvel is rather fruity, as some would say. she also knows that nobody will like that, no sponsor wants that kind of person as a victor, even if they'd all line up to fuck him for the right price.
so when gloss tells the boy to lower the cadence on his voice and puff up his chest to look more like the tribute from 2, cashmere rolls her eyes but says nothing. still, she has to laugh at the way her brother wants the kid to toughen up his act when he couldn't in his own games.
marvel won't win, that's for sure. he'll be collateral damage, but maybe, he'll put on a good show.
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CASHMERE FT. SOME OF THE VICTORS.
LETTER A IS FOR : ANNIE CRESTA. (also requested by @70th )
that girl from district 4 won the games?
it's in the moment that one mentor from 2 spits those words out that cashmere looks over at finnick. nobody knows, nobody suspects, but cashmere can tell ( you're pretending to want, desire, love all those fancy capitol sweethearts - until you're not. until someone comes along and makes it real ). finnick's grip on the couch is tight, it reminds cashmere of watching a boy from district 4 holding onto his trident like a second arm.
cashmere wonders about annie cresta ever since. if the strange beauty of annie cresta is not about the way she fucks, or the way she dresses in fine diamonds and silk, or the way she looks. perhaps that poor, soaking-wet little girl floating above water like a dead fish as the hovercrafts near has something else that no capitol beauty has, not cashmere, not even finnick himself. cashmere thinks then that this world will devour annie cresta and spit her back out.
LETTER B IS FOR: BEETEE LATIER
unlike with annie cresta and wiress, cashmere kind of gets how beetee won his games. brains may seem useless in an arena of brawn and dirt, where there is nothing manmade that can be wired up to use against the enemy. but beetee spent his games hidden so cashmere assumes nobody really thought to seek him out, because they assumed he was already dead.
whenever she thinks of beetee, and the other victors who won by hiding, cashmere doesn't feel disgust anymore. and when she meets the beauty of district 1 whose bloodthirst reminds her too much of herself, cashmere vows down to tell glimmer that, if things get rough, she needs to go hide.
if she wins by being unappealing to the sponsors, then maybe, just maybe, the capitol won't eat her to the bone.
LETTER B IS FOR: BRUTUS
brutus won his games by snapping necks left and right. he used his bare hands and almost no weapons, and cashmere has always admired him for it. there is something tremendously powerful about the idea of tearing someone apart with your hands. cashmere tried during her games, but found out her strength wasn't enough, so she used one of the pickaxes from the district 7 boy to cut off his head instead.
she still feels bitter about not being able to do it. mostly because brutus makes a habit of jokingly reminding her of it.
she's slept with brutus once or twice, if only because she wished, the second time it happened, that he'd tear her appart with his bare hands as well.
LETTER E IS FOR: ENOBARIA
enobaria freaks cashmere out, and not because of her razor-sharp teeth, but because of the way she'll often bite the inside of her cheek with her needle fangs and drip blood off her mouth.
perhaps, cashmere assumes, and gloss agrees with her, enobaria just likes to remember the taste of blood on her tongue.
enobaria freaks cashmere out because she drips blood off her mouth, but at the same time, cashmere realizes that, if to this day she still remembers the dead face of that pretty boy from district 10 when she's fucked, then she has no right to judge anyone anymore.
LETTER F IS FOR: FINNICK ODAIR
finnick odair looks very similar to that one pretty boy from 10 that cashmere seduced and killed to win her games. that in itself should be a bad thing, but when she sees him at the victor's parade, fourteen and half naked and being folded by people he doesn't even know, cashmere realizes it's about to get so much worse.
she's tried to seduce finnick in the past, if only to make herself believe she has some control over someone else. someone who is just like her ( pot calling the kettle black, sweetheart ). he's always denied her, and cashmere liked him for it.
when he's chosen for the quell, cashmere holds her breath in. she can't tell if it's because of their rebellious plan, or because she doesn't trust finnick to keep up with his promises to haymitch at all. because neither would she.
LETTER G IS FOR: GLOSS DEVERAUX
gloss told her after she was reaped that he was jealous of her for being picked. when she told him he could've volunteered, gloss said: but then i'd have to kill you, and back then, cashmere didn't understand why he sounded so serious about it.
gloss is emotional in the arena, she sees him shed a few tears when he guts two girls from different districts. cashmere thinks that, if it weren't for his massive size, he wouldn't have made it. she constantly reminds him of it.
still, cashmere loves gloss, and when time comes to decide who will be killed at the quell and who will continue living in hell, cashmere knows she's doing her brother a favor by letting him die.
LETTER H IS FOR : HAYMITCH
cashmere dislikes drunks by nature; they remind her too much of her dad. brilliant when sober; a mess when under the influence of any liquor he crawled after. haymitch looks a bit like his father too; who would've also been handsome had the alcohol not gotten to him.
they met once, and onix deveraux absolutely despised the man.
gloss jokes that she should fuck haymitch just to get back at their dad. cashmere doesn't tell him she's thought the same thing, because maybe haymitch will whisper something sweet to her before passing out, and it'd be like hearing her father say the 'i love you' he never once uttered.
LETTER J IS FOR: JOHANNA MASON
johanna mason won by being cunning, and that's something cashmere respects. cashmere respects a lot about johanna mason, despite the fact that she can tell the other woman isn't particularly fond of her.
cashmere envies that johanna hasn't got anyone else to fight for, and that's something she hates, because it means that johanna mason, whose token in the games was a fucking wooden figurine of a bear, has something she doesn't have and never will.
johanna mason doesn't know it, but she has freedom. as much as one can have in this fucked up world. cashmere wishes the capitol had killed her father and her mother and gloss. maybe that means she's finally hit rock bottom.
LETTER K IS FOR: KATNISS EVERDEEN
katniss everdeen is an anomaly in the generation they live in. katniss everdeen shares the title of victor with her sweetheart, and cashmere tastes something bitter on her tongue whenever the capitol news talk about the starcrossed lovers from 12.
not because she wishes she had love, but because it means that katniss everdeen is safe from becoming like her. as long as she clings to the baker boy, she won't become a thing to be played with.
when peeta mellark announces katniss is pregnant, cashmere seethes. and if the stupid rumors about a rebellion are false, she swears to herself she'll tear that baby out of her womb herself.
LETTER M IS FOR: MAGS
mags is the only one who knows what life before the games was like, and cashmere has always envied her for it.
maybe she would have liked to ask her about it, but there are some things the people of panem should simply not talk about. cashmere will prioritize her safety and her family's before morbid curiosity.
still, cashmere thinks she wouldn't want to reach mags' age alive. there is something tremendously terrifying about losing her looks, and not knowing what the capitol will do with her then.
LETTER P IS FOR: PEETA MELLARK
the baker boy reminds her cashmere of one of the tributes she mentored once. the year after her games, the male tribute from 1 was a weeping mess who refused to kill anyone. he had lost three siblings to the games already; they'd all volunteered. so when she told her female tribute to slice the boy's throat at the cornucopia, cashmere knew she was doing that kid a favor.
peeta mellark is an anomaly as well, and cashmere wonders if katniss everdeen didn't shoot him in the head when she had the chance because she truly loved him.
but then, she sees the way he handles himself with the cameras, and cashmere thinks the little bastard could have been a capitol diplomat, or a politician. she won't ever let her back turned to peeta mellark, just in case.
#im doing the drabbles idc#i need to flesh out what she thinks of every victor tehehe#MORE TBA#probably will add snow and the gamemakers and plutarch too#because ofc cash survives the war what u saying#ask to tag /#triggers ahead /#death /#murder /#alcohol /
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Also some victors had a short stint in the music industry. There's probably a pop song sung by shirtless finnick still going around
YOU EVER THINK...capitol reality shows with the victors. The confessionary.
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YOU EVER THINK...capitol reality shows with the victors. The confessionary.
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" honestly, these capitol people wouldn't know quality chocolate even if i slapped them across the face with one. "
she sighs, tiny spoon stirrs the contents of her pink mug - the other one, the light blue mug, has been handed to the cresta girl a few seconds ago. christmas at the capitol is always an extremely boring experience; for all its citizens enjoy luxury and excess, cashmere has noticed they've become awfully predictable in their clothing designs, their decoration. most of them will get drunk off their minds during celebrations and become even more insufferable to deal with.
that is the reason why she enjoys the moment of solitude she spends with annie cresta inside finnick's capitol loft. a victors' only pity party - how awfully fitting. still, cashmere appreciates finnick inviting her as well.
" have you ever tried district one hot chocolate, darling? " taking a sip of the hot beverage in her hands, she smiles, pearly white implants shinning almost unnaturally in the artificial lights, " i brought some chocolate pieces back from home last week. i refuse to keep drinking that piss poor excuse that the capitol calls hot cocoa. " - @poormad
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naturally, cashmere receives a necklace : a delicate strand of pearls interspersed with small swirling pink shells. - @70th
she stares at the gift for a moment, wordlessly, yet does not pick it up from its giftbox, as if she feared, for a moment, it would be poisonous.
cashmere is used to gifts -- many a capitol 'sweetheart' has graced her with luxurious designer jewelry, high cotoure, expensive wine. cashmere has learned, with time, that the capitol citizens know very little about jewelry and how to identify a quality, priceless piece. they will be guided by the cost and size, and often be scammed out of their wits by the purchase they've so eagerly made. or perhaps, it's just a district 1 thing; she could tell two diamond cuts apart by the time she was nine. and she could sew a whole gown of silk by the time she was ten.
two years ago, one particularly wealthy man in the fashion industry gifted cashmere with her own clothing brand. truth be told, it was the only moment she truly felt like kissing someone in a long time.
annie's gift is simple, the pearls and seashells are weaved together by fishing threads, the kind used to make nets. in its simplicity, the necklace is beautifully crafted ( cashmere thinks annie knows to pick her colors well. they pearls don't clash with the sheashells, and they complement each other perfectly ). finally, upon realizing she's frozen in place, cashmere picks the necklace between her manicured claws, and despite the feeling of choking on something bitter rising up her throat, clear eyes become glassy. they mirror annie's beloved ocean after a storm has passed.
" you would've done well in one, darling, " she smiles, barely a tug of her painted lips, " it's beautiful. i always used to wonder where the pearls we worked with back home came from. i used to tell myself 'after i win my games, i'll go to district four, and then i'll finally know.'"
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LIKE THIS FOR A SMOLL CHRISTMAS STARTER
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❤︎︎Brigitte Bardot❤︎︎
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❛ you keep your feet dry. ❜ @70th
you keep your feet dry. it's a saying from district 4, or so annie cresta explains -- keep yourself out of trouble. don't let the water get to your neck. cashmere has heard finnick say it before to his tributes, but never before had anyone explained it to her.
cashmere often thinks people underestimate annie cresta far too much. whenever she's in the capitol, she'll be so high on the sedatives given by her caretakers that she won't be able to speak a word without dozing off. but there have been times when cashmere has had the chance to speak to her upfront, and she has a coherent, if slightly detached, train of thought. finnick assumes she doesn't know, but she does: she can see the way he looks at annie. the way her own parents never looked at each other - the way nobody has ever looked at her.
she stopped believing in fairytale love when she won her games. perhaps annie and finnick are the farthest and closest thing there is to one in this world they live in.
" don't you know, darling? i'm already too deep in the waters, " she murmurs, cherry-painted lips curve into a sardonic purse, as her eyes keep fixated on the lights of the capitol. the view from the tower is magnificent. cashmere loves the lights, they remind her of jewels. sometimes, she wonders what it'd be like to jump from the very top of this building and land on those lights, " might as well learn how to swim, don't you think? become the shark and kill my prey. that's how things are for people like us. "
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&. 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 (𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧) 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
( dialogue prompts taken from episodes 5 & 6 ( "eat at baratie!" & "the chef and the chore boy" ) of the netflix live action one piece series. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )
❛ how about we sail away as fast as we can? ❜
❛ about the battle, you wanna talk about it? ❜
❛ there's something on the breeze. smells like butter. soy sauce. and meat. ❜
❛ think he has brain damage? ❜
❛ i smell food, which means that there's someone somewhere cooking. ❜
❛ what's a... baratie? ❜
❛ let's eat! ❜
❛ you'll have to excuse them. they're idiots. ❜
❛ wanna take this outside? ❜
❛ are you asking me to dance? 'cause i kind of had my eye on that blonde at table eight. ❜
❛ i call it a true bluefin sauté. it's elephant tuna, seared asparagus, in a sweet soy reduction. ❜
❛ if i gotta sling one more prime rib medium-well, i am going to drop dead of boredom, you old shitbag! ❜
❛ this ain't gonna be a fight. i'm just going to kill him. ❜
❛ hi, welcome to our shitty restaurant where the only thing worse than the ambience is the food. ❜
❛ one of our signature cocktails to help you choke down your meal? ❜
❛ apologies, madam, i didn't see you there. ❜
❛ something wrong with your eye? ❜
❛ just blinded by your beauty. ❜
❛ nami's got a boyfriend. ❜
❛ did i catch you in the middle of something? ❜
❛ just killing some time. ❜
❛ who's the quarry? ❜
❛ doesn't sound like much of a challenge. ❜
❛ why are you after me? ❜
❛ you woke me from my nap. ❜
❛ i can't eat another bite. but it's so good. ❜
❛ who the hell is monkey d. luffy? ❜
❛ i don't even think there's liquor in this. it tastes just like candy. ❜
❛ who's ready for another drink? my treat. ❜
❛ i don't really do regret. no point in looking back. ❜
❛ sometimes, when i try to look ahead, all i see is back. ❜
❛ you know, you're a really good cook. ❜
❛ if a man is hungry, i feed him. ❜
❛ what are you carrying around that's so heavy? ❜
❛ i bet i know more about you than you do about me. ❜
❛ i guess something about you, you drink. you guess something about me, i drink.❜
❛ i have business with your captain. if you know what's good for you, you'll hand him over. ❜
❛ i've been following your career since i was a child. it's an honor to finally meet you, sir. which is why it pains me to inform you that tomorrow... you're going to die. ❜
❛ accept my challenge. you'll see how serious i am. ❜
❛ you want me to say you're the best? you're the best. okay? ❜
❛ you're the best i've ever seen, but you are not better than him. ❜
❛ why do you give a shit? ❜
❛ because you're my friend, you idiot. ❜
❛ you said it yourself. you don't have any friends. ❜
❛ what is that? i'm here for a sword fight. ❜
❛ i don't hunt rabbits with a cannon. ❜
❛ you're brave. i'll give you that. ❜
❛ wounds on the back are a swordsman's greatest shame. ❜
❛ this world could use a few more wild cards. ❜
❛ it's too soon for you to die. grow strong and come find me. i'll be waiting. ❜
❛ you could never fail me. ❜
❛ look, i'm not gonna lie to you. he's lost a lot of blood. it might be too late for him. but it might not be. ❜
❛ he's got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. you have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. ❜
❛ nice of you to announce yourself. ❜
❛ i don't take orders. not even from the likes of you. ❜
❛ what's the matter? don't like fish? ❜
❛ if you don't want the fish, i got two-inch t-bones in the kitchen. or maybe you're in the mood for saffron risotto? ❜
❛ i can make anything. just tell me what you want. ❜
❛ being a captain, it's the toughest job in the world, okay? ❜
❛ how'd you two meet? were you on his crew or something? ❜
❛ oregano's for savages! ❜
❛ you've got a sharp tongue on you, boy. how about i cut it out and fry it up with some pig fat? ❜
❛ do what you want, but i'm not gonna die here. ❜
❛ they're all dead, except for us. ❜
❛ you ate it? you ate your own leg? ❜
❛ you don't even know me. why would you do that for a stranger? ❜
❛ so i'm gonna need you to live on. and i'm gonna need you to fulfill that dream... for both of us. ❜
❛ have any idea what that's like? having someone lose a limb to save your life? ❜
❛ sometimes, when you are in charge, you have to make the tough decisions. ❜
❛ i'd do anything to save him. anything. except stand in the way of his dream. ❜
❛ isn't there something that you want? something more than anything else in this world? ❜
❛ not everyone gets to follow their dreams. ❜
❛ did you not hear what i just said? they are hunting you. we need to run. ❜
❛ i can't let innocent people get hurt because of me. ❜
❛ i hear you're looking for me. ❜
❛ so this is the pirate i've heard so much about? ❜
❛ do you know who i am, boy? ❜
❛ how'd you even know how to find me? ❜
❛ if you bow down to me, i might even let you serve in my kingdom. ❜
❛ i don't bow down to any man. ❜
❛ i told you in the bar i didn't have any friends, but the truth is, i couldn't let myself have them... because i always end up hurting the people closest to me. ❜
❛ why waste your time killing a devil fruit eater? let the sea do it for you. ❜
❛ what is your problem? ❜
❛ me? i'm fine. you're the one with the problem. ❜
❛ you're not gonna be anything, not if you stay here. ❜
❛ it's not like i can just leave. ❜
❛ don't you get it? it's one thing to have a dream. it's another to go after it. ❜
❛ you want my permission? you got it. ❜
❛ i didn't know what to say before, but i know what to say now, and it's so simple. i need you. ❜
❛ you gonna keep talking, or let me get some sleep? ❜
❛ i vow to stand by your side from now until the end. ❜
❛ you're my captain, and i'm your first mate. ❜
❛ heard you guys need a cook. ❜
❛ why are we bringing the waiter? ❜
❛ you keep your feet dry. ❜
❛ you know, all these years, living under your shitty roof, cooking at your shitty restaurant... i owe you my life! ❜
❛ thank you for putting up with my shit all these years, old man. ❜
❛ i'll never forget you! ❜
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Coriolass snow really went out and said i'm gonna turn my victors into child traff#cking victims AFTER having grown up with a cousin basically doing survival sw.
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