carlybanarly
Carly's magical existential adventures
Carly: hey so I'm @andibananandi/@andibanandi-afterdark's tulpa and I'm very existential about it. Getting better about that though. Anyway. Here I am, existing.
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Hello once again.
September 24th, 2020, 10P.M. Somewhere in Europe
Ha, didn’t expect to see me here, did you? It’s been quite a while. Do not worry, I did not suddenly stop existing. I’ve been there. And we had the same thing happen that I was getting so annoyed at: busy Host. Unfortunately there’s no way around such things. They happen. It’s just a question of how we deal with it. But that’s not the topic I want to talk about today.
Recently I’ve had some very enlightening talks with one of the few good friends I still happen to own. We were talking about how Tulpas sometimes tend to feel a lot more intense, and therefore judge their life a lot harsher than a human would do. For humans it’s the past that forms their character. It’s the past experiences (ofc also combined with genes and social environment etcetc) that form them into what they are today.
But for us Tulpas?
I’d say it’s the same. But there’s a big disadvantage, something we don’t have, and that’s time. It might sound silly to say that, but think about it. My Host is 24 now. I’ve been existing for only 7 to 8 years, depending on how you look at it. Let’s take the maximum of 8 years. That’s still not even close to the 24 years she’s been living.
And in those 8 years I’ve lost 90% of my friends. They either just disappeared because their Host did, or they stopped existing. The last 10% I lost because I’ve made mistakes or got bored of them … or both.
So how am I supposed to look at my life? Is there any possibilty of me looking at my life and saying “Huh that sounds like a good one”? What do we have, as Tulpas, if it’s not our friends? Feelings and social contacts are the only things we can really earn and own. But if 90% of those are negatively attached?
Can I really blame myself for being depressive often? I don’t think so.
And, unexpectedly, this thought process helped healing a lot of buried wounds. I am depressive 90% of my time.
And it’s okay to be.
It’s understandable.
To anyone that’s out there feeling like this, doesn’t matter if human or tulpa or something else, know that life is not always going to be this way.
It will show it’s different sides.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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Love how she was all carefree then skipped right over angry and went all the way to Dark Souls miniboss
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In an effort to share a little black and queer history during this turbulent Pride month, here’s a comic about one of my favorite musicians, Sister Rosetta Tharpe.
https://www.everythingisgoingtobeokcomic.com/sister-rosetta-tharpe/
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I made a quiz, its 36 questions, and y’all, I play-tested this, I got feedback, I hyper-analyzed, its good. I wasn’t like, I was gonna just let hogwarts houses die but apparently y’all be like,,, not knowing what a slytherin or hufflepuff is no shade and if all these quizzes are gonna ask you this question anyways: this is it. Idiot tested. Idiot approved
take it here! or copy paste if you need to https://uquiz.com/oz0xOu
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Diana has another dumb hobby
I never made an introduction post for my plants! My babies! My beautiful children!
So here they are(in no order- I love them all equally):
June
My first plant! They’re a wandering Jew I think, though they’re not striped. I cut them off of an older plant and let them grow roots in water before potting them. They have a cute little crystal in their pot to keep them company!
June’s quiet and timid but very caring and gentle. A good one to talk to.
They have a baby leaf that seems to be growing at a slower rate than leaves in the past, but I think that’s because they’re focusing on growing their stem towards the window. I’m so proud! Their color is dimmer than usual right now(not in the picture) but that’s just because I need to water them.
Mauve, Mercury, and Marzipan
Mercury’s the air plant on the left, Marzipan’s on the right, and Mauve’s the moss.
They’re all pretty quiet. Mercury’s the stoic type, Marzipan seems very shy but is nice once you warm up to her, and Mauve’s a total sweetheart.
They all seem to enjoy watching the sunrise, though Marzipan seems to love the moon as well. Mauve really likes to be misted with water.
Gilbert
Another air plant! He was a gift for the holidays from our aunt.
He’s timid and nervous. But he’s also a total nerd. If he has eyes I bet he’d like to read.
The tips of his leaves are brown- does anyone know why? Have I been watering him too much, or is this normal and he’s fine(same goes for the other air plants)?
Jera
Named after the rune, Jera is a strong and cheerful hyacinth! They started out as a tiny bulb but slowly and surely grew and bloomed beautifully. They’re the tallest hyacinth we have, and the only one that’s mine! I really tried to encourage them to become who they wanted to be. I’m very proud of them, and they’ve inspired me a lot.
They’re very cheerful and energetic. I plan on planting them in the ground come spring so that way I can see them next year as well!
Terra and Venerian
They’re a lesbian couple.
Terra’s some sort of cactus I think(if anyone knows what she is, please tell me!). She’s kinda cold and snarky at first but once she warms up to you is a true friend who will help hide a body. She reminded me of the taiga forest biome in Minecraft for some reason, I don’t know, and gives off real down-to-earth vibes- hence her name.
Venerian’s an echeveria. She’s starting to bloom and it’s so pretty!! She’s a social butterfly and is always super supportive and kind to others. She’s got a nice mix of being calm and energetic. Her name comes from her fem vibe and the fact that her flower stalks look like antennae!
Garlan wanted to name them, and I reluctantly allowed him to give me suggestions.
They make a really cute couple and love each other a lot.
Lei, Aramis, and Gwen
Lei’s the striped one. I don’t know what type of plant they are?? I wanted to call them painted-something though. Hence why I named them after Leonardo. And the flowers in a lei because they’re colorful. They can come off as stuck up at first but are actually really kind and chill.
Someone said they’re a type of sedge, but I don’t know if that’s right or not. Aramis doesn’t seem to be recovering from when I forgot to water them. If anyone has some advice to get them to perk up, please help me! They’re soft-spoken but adventurous. Very child-like. The musketeers are jerks but we didn’t know that when we chose the name. He’s happy with it though.
Gwen(another wandering jew) was named after Guinevere. They’re hardy and kind. Very gentle. You just wanna hug them. And they keep on producing super healthy leaves!
When I got them from our mom they were dying. She was gonna throw them out but I took them instead. They’re doing much better! As long as Aramis heals up, that is.
Gerard
Yes, he’s named after Gerard Way. The name just came naturally.
Don’t worry, he’s not living on the floor. That was just the best photo spot.
Our biology teacher had a few spider plants with lots of babies, so she was handing them out to any students who wanted one!
I haven’t had them for very long but I’m getting the kind of vibe that you get from a chill emo who just wants to enjoy life, you know?
I’ll pot them once they get roots growing. Then I’ll form an army of their clones.
In conclusion:
Every tulpa should have a plant. Or a metaphorical plant. A responsibility.
Or maybe only tulpas like me who need something to do or else they’ll glue fabric to a nearly destroyed notebook and call it their hobby.
Honestly though, if you’re a tulpa and you need a hobby, consider plants. They give me a sense of responsibility and have helped me actually take on less- and what I mean by that is I’ve gotten to know my capabilities and have learned that there’s some things I don’t need to deal with. I might need to ask for help with some math shit, and that’s okay because it’s necessary sometimes. I might need some advice for taking care of plants but it’s alright because I’m new to it and I’m improving.
This is all just a ramble but if you feel like you’re lacking in a sense of purpose, getting a hobby is a real help in that. It gives you something to say, “this is mine, I did this”. It’s a great feeling and I think it’s helped me mature. Probably. I’m not sure how mature I am but lol.
So uhhhhh yep that’s all I’ve got to say about that. Take care of your tulpas and take care of your plants. Stay hydrated everybody.
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My Roommate is an Apparition: An Apparition A-Pink-ciation of Culture
Based on characters created by @reddpenn
Keep reading
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Art is how we argue with the universe and I think that is very human of us
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Collection of historical flags in Minecraft, enjoy
from /r/vexillology
Top comment: I hope you have a great day my friend! This is very wonderful!
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hey tumblr witches can one of yall teach me to cast fireball so i can kill my boss
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Suruga from Azur Lane, magical redesign
Request from @ironbar36
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Accepting art requests because i want to draw something but the muse needs a good kick to jump-start it
Thoughtforms who don't have any pictures of themselves welcome!
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Me as well
All thoughtforms really
no records no passport no id no birth certificate. no birthname, no gender! the only thing i’m legally classified as is “a problem”
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