cargopantsman
A Man That Likes CargoPants
the pockets are for candy and daggers, an instinct for the regrettable that is almost uncanny, a weird but not invalid take, kinsey scale is on shuffle,
he/him/bastard, grimey,
compassionate apathy,
an asshole that says things just to start shit, a genuine delight,
i am a typical insecure guy
I can't reiterate enough that the reason I do these things is not entirely clear to me.
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The Johnlock Confirmed
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We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, I’m putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.
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Humans are unstoppable...Until they aren’t.
I’m not the most eloquent writer, but I’ve had this idea kicking around for a while and figured I’d put it out into the universe.
A lot of the basis for the “humans are space orcs” stuff is the idea that we’re pretty durable compared to many species, yeah? When it comes to physical trauma, we can bounce back from most things that don’t kill us outright, especially given the benefit of hypothetical space-age technology, and adrenaline is one heck of a drug when it comes to functioning under stress.
But that doesn’t make us unkillable, and even though we can survive debilitating injuries and not die from shock, it doesn’t mean it’s fun. Dying of shock sucks, but at least it’s probably quick.
So - Imagine a ship, adrift in space, slowly being drawn into a star or something. In order to save the ship, someone has to repair the hyper-quantum-relay-majig on the hull or in the engine or whatever. Bit of a problem though- there’s a ton of deadly, deadly radiation (Wrath of Khan style) or poisonous fumes or, I dunno, electrical current, between the crew and the repair. Like, enough to kill most species instantly, so the crew is just like, ‘welp, guess we’ll die then’. But then.
BUT THEN
They ask the human. Because everyone’s heard the stories - you’re basically unkillable, right? Could you survive long enough in there to fix it? And their human goes real quiet for a second, but still says ‘Yeah, I could fix it’. And the rest of the crew is like, ‘Whaaaaaa, it won’t kill you?’ and the human repeats “I can fix it” (which isn’t an answer, but no one catches that, not yet at least), so they send ‘em in. And the human fixes it, they come back, the ship flies to safety, and the crew is thrilled to survive. If the human is a little quiet, well, they’re entitled after pulling off a miracle. Everyone else is just excited to get to the nearest station’s bar to tell their very own human story, cuz, ‘those crazy humans, amiright?’.
The good mood keeps up until the human is late for their next shift. At first it’s just faint unease, but- but they earned a bit of a lie-in, right? No reason to begrudge them some extra rest, even if it is a little weird for them to oversleep. They’ll be fine. Humans are always fine.
(Right?)
(…Wrong.)
- What is… help. Help!-
- ake up! You have t-
- been days. You need sleep, you-
- nother transfusion. We could-
- out of sedatives!-
A week later, the crew finally reaches the station. They stumble into the bar, haggard and haunted. And over the next months and years a new rumor about humans starts to make its way through space. A rumor unlike any before.
‘Be careful with your humans’ it whispers. ‘Their strength is not always a blessing. Be sure they don’t do something they can’t come back from, because when a human dies… they die slowly.’
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Why do we try to act like Antisemitism is an exclusive foible of the political Right, anyway? Buddy, I have witnessed the ideological intersection of “kill the bourgeoisie” and “Jews control the banks and media” - it’s not a pretty picture!
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We have to control both the House of Representatives and the Senate to impeach someone successfully.
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.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.🖤⭐️🩸⭐️🤍.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.
@ghostietea as marcille
@froz3nlemonade as falin
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I LOVE THIS
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A) She's a 6, but one of her arms is a custom prosthetic made of gilded arm bones and has admitted to committing at least one murder.
B) She's an 8, but she's in love with a tub of ancient freezer meet.
C) She's a 10, but she's under a penitential vow of silence after making too many puns.
D) She's a 7, but she rejected your marriage proposal and now acts like she doesn't know you.
E) She's a 9, but she looks weirdly like one of your Barbie dolls and has trouble with appropriate displays of affection.
F) She's a 10, but her twin sister is creepy, and they might be sleeping together.
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Photo
A
female falcon was equipped with a satellite tracking system in South
Africa before migrating to Finland. Image shows tracker data. In just 42
days, she flew over 10.000 km, at an incredible average of 230 km per
day and nearly in a straight line.
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guys I just found the greatest video on the internet
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a five year old note among my 1588 saved notes that just reads: four-dimensional salmon
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this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby
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If you truly live by the sword you can just say no to dying by the sword.
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