the love I have for him? unparalleled.

I WANT TO GIVE YOU AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE

on today’s episode of my feels be wildin. 

two ghosts by harry styles is giving me all the eddie.shannon feelings kiddos 

we’re not who we used to be, we’re not who we used to be ..

the fridge light washes this room white moon dances over your good side and this was all we used to need ...

.. and to be quite honest it’s wrecking the hell out of me 

Chris ran to his Buck. I'm still not over that

Okay, so. Unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Eddie was out of character in this episode. I just think he was acting in the absolute worst of his character. 

Eddie has come a long way in terms of learning how to be a parent, instead of just a provider. But I don’t think that means that he’s let go of the vision in his head of what a family should look like, and Ana fits into that vision perfectly. Potentially even better than Shannon did, given that she’s proven to be good with kids, and she’s latina. And Eddie is undeniably smitten with her. 

He is really rushing things, and while I’m willing to give the show a little leniency with pacing this season, it’s still too fast. And I kind of think that’s the point. Eddie isn’t just looking at Ana as a potential partner, he is looking at her as potential mom. He is still clinging to the idea of a “normal” family, and he’s rushing things with Ana because of it. She seems perfect, and he’s been doing this alone for so long, even before Shannon died, that I think he’s a little, well. Desperate. For a partner, for a co-parent.* And so he’s pushing that role onto Ana way before either of them (or Chris) is even ready. 

That’s why he outright refuses when Ana offers to take a break, to slow things down, to give all of them some time to adjust. Shannon left twice, and I think Eddie is already afraid of losing someone again, and his mind if they took a break or slowed things down, he’d be losing her. So he’s holding onto Ana as tightly as he can, forcing their relationship into something more serious and committed than it is, or even should be. 

It’s totally irrational and reckless. Because it’s too soon, and Ana seems perfect, but noone is. What happens when they eventually disagree on something? What happens when Chris loses someone else? What happens when things reach a breaking point? 

(*of course, he already has this, he just doesn’t know it yet because of that whole “normal family” thing I mentioned)

bouncing between here and my rp blog, but might have something up later today .. 

9-1-1 ▸ 2.01 Under Pressure || 4.04 9-1-1, What’s Your Grievance?

appreciation post for eddie’s helmet hair

i’d rather die than do math in any context

do you ever just think about how much eddie trusting him with christopher means to buck ?? i mean for most of buck’s life nobody has trusted him with really anything especially not anything as precious and amazing as their child and eddie ? eddie does. eddie who has heard all the stories of buck 1.0, who was on the full receiving end of buck’s tantrum when they met, eddie who has seen him at his lowest and worst, eddie who stood  and still trusts him completely and honestly with christopher,  with the most special part of his heart the way nobody ever has before. like do you ever think about that especailly when buck is sort of lost after abby leaves, after maddie comes back, after trying to be buck 2.0 and eddie swoops in, eddie who is reserved, in a new place with parents who don’t think he can do this, a wife who ( while yes dealing with her own trauma and issues because there is no hate for shannon diaz on this blog  ) , just coming off an extremely traumatic part in his life, and puts his trust in buck, puts him into their little family giving buck that safe ground, that stability that he’s wanted more than anything in such a long time. 

and i rambled a lot here and i’m probably going to meta about how much it means for eddie to trust buck at all, how much it means for him to let himself need buck not only for christopher but for himself, but i’ve had this thought for like a while and i needed to get it out so i can finally get this writing done without constantly coming back to this thought tbh. 

also on the topic of me actually posting something on this blog i’ve been workshopping a new co.de black oc so like if anyone knows that fandom be on the lookout for my new baby, annie leighton ! 

*peeks my head around the corner* 

i’ve suddenly gotten a lot of muse/inspo for an old 9.11 story of mine and i honestly can’t imagine posting it anywhere that isn’t tumblr so be on the lookout for some pieces of that ! 

it will have decent trigger warnings that will be heavily tagged because kiddos your happiness, health and safety matter more to me than anything else ! 

contemplating moving blogs just really don’t feel that connected to this one anymore just because it’s been so long since i’ve been on here and i really want to come back !!

evan week 2020

↳ day 3: favourite outfit(s) ♡ uniform/gear

“I guess it’s like… the uniform is my costume. You know, I put it on and suddenly I’m brave and I’m strong. I make a difference.”

COMFORTEMBER OFFICIALLY STARTS TOMORROW!!!

(well for some of you, it might already be tomorrow but still 😂)

I’m so excited to see works already in the AO3 collection this is so exciting!!!

I just want to refresh on a few points before the challenge begins:

The link to the prompts list is here! 

If you need the list in a copy/paste format, the post with that is here!

If any of these prompts are triggering for you, I have a few substitutes to use in place of them, the post to those is here! 

If you have any questions, please refer to my FAQ. If your question is not there, please feel free to message me/send me an ask on this blog or on my main blog @baloobird​

The link to the AO3 collection is here! If you need help posting to it, refer to my post about that here! 

If you’re not getting it, please don’t be afraid to ask me!

All fandoms are welcome as are all mediums of art (drawings, writing, videos, the world is your oyster).

For posting on tumblr, please use the tags #comfortember and/or #comfortember 2020 so I can find you (or try to, tumblr sometimes doesn’t like to show everything but I’ll do my best!) 

If you’d rather tag me directly at @comfortember​, that’s ok too!! 

Again, thank you so so much for wanting to participate, the response is truly incredible, something I would’ve never expected in a million years. I hope you guys have fun with this and what you’re doing, I can’t wait to see more of that collection filled with wonderful things! Have a good day/night and Happy Halloween (to everyone living where it’s still “today” 😂)

am i back solely because i want to write for comfortember ?? does linus wait every year for the great pumpkin ?? does charlie brown always kick the football ?? 

the answer to both of those is a resounding yes !!