what do you associate me with?

reblog this to have everyone come to your inbox and name something they associate you with — it doesn’t have to be something extremely deep if you’ve never met. just a general “vibe” thing. think: colors, animals, places, flowers, tv shows, songs or emojis.

peace out LA, i'm florida bound. incredibly bittersweet to leave this place behind but happy to once again spend every day annoying @alannaholivr

i will bring mini deodorants and hand them out to people i'm so serious

wrestling nightclub boutta go crazy. might have to plug up my nose though (respectfully)

(text): it's not weird at all!! every pregnancy is different and whatever was easy last time might be super hard this time.

(text): but starting tomorrow i will be there to hold your hair back while you barf

(text): okay for one, excellent choice of baby daddy, and for two, A LITTLE GIRL!!!! obviously i will love any kid of yours regardless of gender but i am so excited... the next generation of unhinged women is on the way

📲 @callieparker

📲: bestie i have a question

📲: how do you feel about being an honorary aunt

📲: again 🥹

(text): i feel great about it!!!! congratulations ilyyyy and i know that once again you’re gonna be an amazing mother

(text): also this means, just like last time, i get to send you this

(text): okay now give me all the tea

📲 @callieparker

📲: bestie i have a question

📲: how do you feel about being an honorary aunt

📲: again 🥹

not too sure about the gym gains but i’m definitely gonna be feeling some tattoo pains. whats the next piece you’re getting?

tattoo pains & gym gains is how we’re spending 2024. expect nothing less.

thank you, i started moving my stuff out today and now that i've come to terms with it i'm actually really excited. i have pepper spray, a baseball bat and brass knuckles hahaha i am very prepared, plus i won't be living alone anymore, alannah's place has a great security system, and i will also be near like half my coworkers so if he somehow finds me again it is not gonna end well. thank you for offering, that is a great mental image and i will call upon it to strengthen me

oh sweet tofi... just a cloud with eyes 😭 i hope they eventually become the best of friends and snuggle up together. i'm trying to convince alannah to get a dog so gizmo can learn how to cooperate and share

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

i would expect nothing less from your kid. and hey, a new puppy is the perfect way to start the new year, not to add to the pressure or anything. we could totally go to the shelter just to look (i say this like it hasn't broken my heart every time we've done that)

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

What is your biggest regret?

spending the majority of my 20s clinging to connections that made me feel alone. i could have gotten where i am now even faster if it wasn't for that. either that or the time alannah and i made kelp juice

well, ezra will get unlimited access to gizmo soon but i wouldn't mind having a dog around either. does he know what kind of dog he wants or is it just a general "i want a puppy" situation

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

this cured everything that has ever been wrong with me. look at those beautiful chonks

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

your kids are great and very photogenic but i know you have another one. why did you leave out the former dinosaur

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

this made me smile, thank you. what an adorable and literate cat, what's their name?

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

aw, she's a sassy teen. once she hangs out with gizmo he's gonna get her into catnip and then she'll really go off the rails

so i haven't spoken to my family in 12 years aside from brief legal stuff. they are not good people and hurt me very badly when i was a kid. just before christmas, when i was at work, i caught my dad on my security camera trying to break into my apartment. he somehow figured out where i live and flew all the way from chicago to find me. he also left me a creepy letter. i successfully got a restraining order but i obviously don't feel safe living there anymore so i bounced. you have full permission to jump my dad but he is over 70 so really i feel like you could just mildly shove him and he'd break a hip

i know exactly how you feel. some cats are more than a pet, they're like... your soul cat. i can't even think about gizmo passing, he's already 10 years old and i'm like no!!! live forever!!! also yaz has a cat too right? two cats is the perfect amount of cats for two people imo

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

does she ever suckle on your hoodie sleeves like she’s nursing? because sometimes gizmo does that and it’s half cute and half disturbing. like yes i’m your mom but no my sleeves do not give milk you little freak

like next week!! and orlando! i’m temporarily moving in with my bestie alannah and her family until i find my own place and i am having weirdly mixed emotions about it. like i know it needed to happen anyway but i hate the way it all went down. i’m so glad you’re doing well and getting ready to live with your wife!!! you guys are so cute and like the only reason why i still believe in love tbh. are you going to adopt more cats

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up

sorry i didn’t see this earlier! thank you, i felt like maybe i’d have more fun if i went blonde. what’s up

The new hair looks good on you. @callieparker

oh my god she was so small she fit in your hand like a little potato!!!! sweet baby popsocket i adore her. also hi i’m sorry my life has been insane recently but i am?? moving to florida?? so when i have that all figured out you’re invited to my housewarming party. how are you meow meow

everyone, please send me your finest pet pictures, i need some cheering up