so like life should be amazing but somehow it isn’t? fucking awesome right i’ve been dealing with the same bullshit for years and now it’s even worse my dad needs a kidney and i am definitely not okay mentally to donate mine but itS COOL its fine i can pretend im stable ha ha ha

I doubt anyone follows me anymore BUT if you still do please talk to me. This past year has been more difficult than the rest of high school so yeah message me please

Life can be hard to live

The person I used to be would never recognize who i today

Shit I haven’t been on here since high school.. if you kno me send me a message 😎

Moms should live forever

we are all carrying the bodies of our younger selves, arms full of her crying, of her begging us to take back that night and shove it into a better place. of the memories of her leaving where we screamed our throat raw. the child we were is sobbing and we are always carrying her uphill. things are getting cold. our feet are slipping in the frost and we’re so tired. so so tired. and she’s hungry. she is constantly whispering about the small things that hurt us. 

i just want to get her somewhere warm. where she can learn we are happy, where her whispers can be shouts but i don’t slide backwards. blizzards show up from nowhere and she and i freeze in the nothing. i forget to keep walking. i want to be somewhere flat, where i can see storms coming.

but i am always always climbing.

This year has changed me more than I ever thought it would. 

sometimes i forget how many times i’ve picked myself off the floor, how many times i’ve washed away smudgy makeup and put myself to bed. how many times i’ve said no to something unhealthy. said yes to something good. how many times i’ve treated myself with kindness and patience. i forget how many times i’ve tended to wounds and made peace with my own anger. if i was taking care of a body that was not my own, i’d believe i was doing everything i could. so here’s to remembering that i’m doing the best i can.

“Do you ever miss yourself? The person you were before you had your first heartbreak or before you got betrayed by a person you trusted?”

(via elite-89)

you planted a garden of self-hatred in my head and it’s hard to pull all the roots out.

my mind is raging (via daughtur)

:(