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caapsiizzereads · 6 months

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I Feel You - Jamie Tartt x demi!Reader

A/N: Hello to my faithful followers! I'm sorry I've been so inactive for the past couple weeks I've been down in the dumps and sorta uninspired.

But the crazy thing is I've hit 1k followers! What? How is that even possible! I'm planning to put together a little celebration soon but for now, here's an unrequested fic that I wrote featuring a demi!reader on the acespec!

See y'all soon!

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns), Drunkenness, I think that's it

OooO

Jamie had to be the lamest footballer in the world. It was a Friday night and instead of going out and finding a club to get drunk at, he was sitting on his couch reading a bloody book. Fucking Roy Kent had gotten to him, that bastard. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come by so when there was a knock on the door, Jamie was surprised.

There on his doorstep was (Y/N). Pacing, wobbly, back and forth seemingly trying to take off her shoes without sitting down.

“(Y/N)?” He opened the door, turning on the porch light.

(Y/N) was someone Jamie had been friends with for a long time. Longer than anyone else, maybe. She’d grown up with im in Manchester, and gone to college in London when he got called up. When he was busy being a prick and cutting people out of his life, she stayed, refusing to be cut. And here she was, drunk on his doorstep.

She spun in spot, her eyes lighting up when she saw him. “Jamie!”

She fell forward onto him in a sloppy hug. Jamie caught her in his arms, realizing with a chuckle that she was beyond wasted. He hoisted her up so she was tucked into his side so he could properly assist her while closing the door and turning off the lights.

“Jamieee,” She sang, sweetly, pulling Jamie with all her might to get them to topple over.

“At least one of us had a good night,” Jamie muttered.

“It was ‘meh’,” (Y/N) admitted, shrugging. “Felt all wonky all night.”

Jamie pulled her into his bathroom, sitting her down on the toilet seat. She slumped back, as it finally feeling her exhaustion. He filled up his water cup and handed it to her, having to help her put her hand on and grip the cup.

“Drink,” he instructed.

“It’s like, I’m over here, looking and waiting,” she continued, pausing for a second to glug down a large sip of water. “And everyone else is over there. Falling in love, dating, kissing, and I’m just,” she made a raspberry with her mouth.

Jamie found a cloth and the bottle of makeup remover she’d left at his house one time, dabbing some of the serum on the cloth. He walked back over to her, kneeling so he could be at eye height with her.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, starting to dab at her face like she’d taught him.

“Why can’t I feel that, Jamie?” She whined, leaning into his touch. “Why can't I just find a dude and just kiss him? What’s wrong with me?”

Jamie frowned, pausing his dabbing for a moment. “What do you mean, darling?”

“I just mean,” now she was frowning too. “I try to go on dates, hook up with random guys, and I just feel… nothing.” Jamie, pursed his lips, moving the cloth gently over her face. Her eyes fluttered closed as he swished over her eyelids delicately. “But I’m so tired of waiting… I don’t want to settle anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have to settle,” Jamie agreed softly.

“But I also don’t want to be alone forever,” she opened her eyes and Jamie stopped washing her face.

“You won’t be alone forever,” he droned. This was a conversation they’d had before. She was afraid she’d never find the one, and Jamie reassured her that she would. Of course, she would. She was beautiful, and funny, and headstrong in all the important ways.

“I’ve only ever liked one person, in my whole entire life,” she hiccuped. “And he…”

“He what, love?” Jamie went to stand but she grabbed onto his pants, stopping him from moving away. He looked down and she looked very small. He’d never seen her look so small before.

“He’s been my best friend since we were kids,” she muttered, looking up at him. “When I look at him, I feel this flutter in my chest. And no matter how hard I try to feel that with other people, I just can’t.” She looked between his eyes. “I can’t.”

Jamie could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his blood rushing in his ears. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? She couldn’t be. Either way, she needed to go to bed.

“You… uh… you can stay here tonight, yeah?” He took the cup from her hand and filled it back up. “I’ll go put out some sleep clothes in the guest bed.”

She looked disappointed when he didn’t acknowledge her rambling, but she nodded, taking a pitiful sip from her cup of water. He watched her a moment before pounding on the sink and walking out to grab a shirt for her.

As he set up the bed for her, his mind was racing through what she had said. The best friend from childhood that she’d liked forever. It couldn’t be him… could it? Not after everything he’d put her through.

When he walked back to the bathroom, she’d fallen asleep on the toilet. Chest rising and falling steadily, her eyelashes resting against her cheeks. His chest fluttered as he looked at her, a gentle smile coming over his lips. He slid one arm under her legs and another around her back, resting her head on his shoulder. She curled into him immediately, nestling her nose into his neck.

He brought her to the room, he’d set up maneuvering her carefully so he could take her clothes off. She’d changed in front of him before, felt comfortable around him, but he still was careful of his hands and quickly putting on more comfortable clothes.

She mumbled incoherently as he laid her down and pulled the covers over her. His hand rested on her cheek for a moment, her face slightly flushed from her night out. He was tempted to get in the bed with her, keep her safe and warm in his arms but he swatted that thought away quickly. Instead he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple.

The next morning when he woke up, he went to check on her, but she wasn’t in the room. Then he heard humming and the smell of bacon filling the air. He padded down the steps and saw her in the kitchen, cooking and sipping on his coffee like she owned the place. He shoved his tongue in his cheek to stop himself from laughing as he watched her.

She spun around, dancing to the song in her head, yelping and freezing when she saw him.

“Oh!” She sighed, throwing her hand over her heart when she realized it was him. “Jamie! You scared me.”

“Scare you? This is my house, you know,” Jamie laughed, leaning across the island.

She rolled her eyes, sliding a cup of coffee across to him. “Two creams, one sugar, yeah?”

Jamie looked down at the coffee, knowing Roy would kill him if he took a sip. ‘Your body is a temple’ and ‘caffeine is a drug’ and whatever, but she was looking at him so sweetly there was no way he could say no to it. So, he reached down and took a sip.

“That’s it, yah,” it tasted perfect. No one else made his coffee like she did. “Do you know how you ended up here?”

She slowed her cooking for a second. He couldn’t see her face, she was turned facing the wall, but he saw her back tense just the slightest bit.

“Uh… I don’t remember, really,” (Y/N) answered. “Just woke up here… figured it was just where I thought I’d be safest.”

Jamie felt his cheeks heat up, trying to hide it by taking a sip of his coffee. “You, eh, were out with the girls?”

She turned around, sliding the bacon onto the two plates she’d set out. She was deep in thought, he could tell by the way she picked the skin off her lip, reaching up to pull a piece of hair out of her face.

“Yeah…” she whispered. “It was Larsen’s birthday. Wanted to go have a hot girl night. Find some guys to go home with.”

Ah. Now he got it. She’s gone out with her friends and they’d all gone home with guys and she was left alone. She was upset because she thought she was unwanted. He grimaced at her.

“Did Larsen ditch you again? I told you to stop hanging out with her,” Jamie comforted, reaching to grab a piece of bacon. (Y/N) didn’t answer, she just stared down at the greasy meat on her plate. “Oh, c’mon, (Y/N), you can’t really believe that because of one bad night that no one wants you.”

She furrowed her brow, shaking her head. “No that’s….” She looked up at him, looking back and forth between his eyes. “Do you really think that I couldn’t find one person to go home with?”

Now Jamie was confused. He pursed his lips, not sure how to answer.

“He was great. Attractive enough, I suppose, saying all the right things,” she mumbled, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “We chatted for a while. But I just felt… nothing.” Her fist open and closed as she fought the nervous energy. “He was kissing me, holding me, doing all the things that should have made me feel… something. But it was like… I felt nothing! It was like there was something blocking my brain from just latching onto something random.”

“He was… kissing you?” Jamie cringed as he said it. He wasn’t sure exactly why he’d said it and she looked at him like she was crazy.

“Yes, he was,” she scoffed, running a hand through her hair. “He wanted to do a lot more but I couldn’t feel it. I didn’t feel anything.” She rested her elbows on the counter, her head in her hands. “God, what is wrong with me? Every other person we went out with went home with whatever stranger they’d met that night. But me? I feel so… stunted.”

Jamie was surprised by her sudden admission. It wasn’t something he’d felt before, but he wanted her to feel the things he felt for her. The care and softness that he felt for her.

“I know I want it,’ she continued. “I feel it sometimes… for… one person. He knows me and I know him. And I try to get myself to get over it, to feel it for someone else. Anyone else, but no matter how hard I try. I just… can’t feel it.” She shook her head, pushing herself off the island. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

Jamie stayed still for a moment, figuring out his thoughts.

“S’okay,” he finally responded. “I’m sorry you feel like that, you deserve to feel loved and wanted.”

Her eyes snapped back up to his, her cheeks turning red, spreading up to her ears. Jamie moved around to the other side of the island so he was right next to her, leaning against her side. She kept staring straight forward, her eyes turning shiny with unshed tears.

“You said… there was one person,” he implored, pursing his lips into a duck shape. “One person who you felt something for.”

She nodded, not speaking, brushing her eyes furiously.

“Who… who is that person,” he asked.

She let out a shaky laugh, cocking her head before looking up at him.

“I think you know,” she replied quietly, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. He looked at her, letting his hand slide down to intertwine with hers. Her breathing hitched and her chest started to heave. “Jamie, wait, please.” She stared at their entwined hands, scared that it was going to go away. “I can’t… I’m not like other girls. I can’t give you what you want, not right away, maybe not for a long time.”

Jamie shook his head, moving his free hand up to touch her face. “I don’t want that, all I want is to make you feel loved. All I want is for you to feel how you deserve to feel. And I’m willing to wait however long it takes, and to do whatever it takes to make sure that you feel that love.”

“Oh, Jamie,” she gasped out, reaching up to touch his face too. They stood in the kitchen, the soft morning light dappling in through the windows, holding each other's faces. He looked between her lips and her eyes. “Jamie?”

“Yeah?”

“You can kiss me.”

His eyes were big and wanting as he looked at her. “Are you sure? Like really sure, like you aren’t just saying it to make me happy?”

“No, Jamie, I want it.”

The words scarcely left her mouth when he cut her off, pressing his lips to hers. And there it was. She felt it. She felt that electricity that her friends had talked about. It rocked through her, stealing her breath away as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, his coming to creep up her back, lifting her up slightly.

“Can you feel that, love?” he hummed, in between kisses. “Can you feel how much I love you?”

“I can feel it,” she responded, pulling back to look up at him. “I can feel you.”

#ace spec representation🫶#ted lasso

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caapsiizzereads · 6 months

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now that the evening is slowing

Summary: Sometimes, you're the one to get Poe out of his head.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Word Count: 500+.

Warnings: porn without plot, pegging, kind of genderfuckery I guess (poe refers to the strap on as reader's cock), established relationship, tiny mentions of overstimulation, subby!Poe needs his own warning probably?

A/N: I don't know if I'm back in the game of writing reader fic but this did happen and I'm kind of determined to jump back in with both feet so we'll see!

Poe's thighs shake where they're spread out where he's straddling your hips, head lolled back with pleasure as you fuck up into him, his hole clenching sporadically around your strap.

He'd been meeting your thrusts eagerly, gasping praises that made you flush almost as much as he was, the tips of his ears red. He's beautiful like this, damp curls stuck to his forehead, chest shining with sweat, his hands shaky where he clutches your shoulders, another whine falling from his swollen, rosy lips as you rock your hips up again, hitting that spot that always leaves him needy and begging when you focus on it with your fingers.

It does now, too, but so much better, because the strap is so much thicker than your fingers (it's about the size of Poe's cock, because you'd been insistent on making him fucking him exactly as good as he did you), and Poe cries out, the sound of it making your neglected clit throb worse. You're so fucking wet, so turned on you wonder if you could come just from watching him lose it.

"Baby baby please - oh fuck -" Poe's words are barely a raspy whisper, vocal chords near silent, rendered as useless as his limbs from pleasure. He folds over you, whining, pressing his face into your neck. "Please, oh fuck your cock feels so good, baby please let me - let me -" he gasps around another whine, any semi-coherent sentences replaced by a litany of your name, and you finally grant mercy on him, reaching between your bodies to stroke his cock slowly, timing it to your thrusts, and Poe throws his head back again around another garbled noise that makes you grin.

When you drive your hips harshly up into his, squeezing his cock lightly as you dig your fingers into the cheeks of his ass, Poe comes with a drawn out shout, spurts of cum covering your fingers, splashing across your bellies.

You watch the way his face transforms, the way the euphoric rush of bliss turns his face soft, his breaths shaky and uneven, lips parted as you work him through it, until he finally chokes, sagging against you, tears of overstimulation glistening like stars in his eyelashes. "toomuch -” he moans despite himself, and then makes a small, pathetic noise at the loss of your hand when you finally remove it from around his sensitive cock.

"You're alright," you reassure him, smoothing your hand down his scalp, as Poe tucks his face into your neck again, nuzzling close to you. "It's alright, I've got you. You okay?”

Poe nods, his curls tickling your chin. You're not too concerned by his lack of verbal responses - it takes him a long time to come down from this, and he prefers spending that time in the safe cradle of your body, your strap still inside him (for the moment), listening to your soft affirmations. It's one of the few times that he truly indulges himself in your comfort, without feeling guilty for it, which means you treasure this almost as much, if not more, than having him spread out.

That means that you're surprised when Poe does speak, his arms snaking around your middle as he presses a kiss over your heart. "I love you," he murmurs.

You scrape your fingernails lightly against his scalp. "I love you too."

thanks for reading 💜 comments are appreciated, happy october!

#😮‍💨😮‍💨#this is so hot #star wars

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caapsiizzereads · 6 months

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#slut! is such a banger #and is it over now is so cunty i love it #1989 taylor's version #taylor swift

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caapsiizzereads · 6 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE CRAZIEST GIRL I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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14. Brisk morning air with daddy duke <3

2023 Fall Blurbs

Caladan feels all its seasons intensely. The summer sun is sweltering to the point where you never leave the castle, and the winter winds are so frigid you’re worried you’ll freeze whenever you step outside. Autumn, then, is the perfect time of year, when the weather is calm and predictable and you’re able to spend time outside without worrying about melting or freezing.

Most mornings, you find yourself awake after reaching across the bed to be met with nothing but cold sheets, your husband having already left to begin his long day of meetings. Your schedule is much more flexible, though you often get out of bed soon after the Duke, never able to sleep when he’s gone.

Today, after stretching and stepping out of bed to an unexpectedly cold floor, you glance outside to see the trees swaying in the breeze and the waves churning in the sea. Finally, autumn has arrived, and you’re far too excited to worry about your few commitments for the day. Instead, you bundle yourself up in warm clothing and all but run outside, desperate to enjoy the cooler weather before it becomes unbearably cold in a few short weeks.

The morning air is breezy and chilly, the perfect weather after the sweltering summer months, and you meander your way through the gardens, admiring the changing leaves and blooming plants as you make your way to a little bench tucked into your favorite corner in all of the gardens. Sitting down, you take a deep breath of the fresh morning air and close your eyes, letting yourself relax until the snapping of a twig rips you out of your calm state.

Turning your head sharply, you let out a breath of relief when you see your husband smiling at you, clearly pleased with himself for sneaking up on you.

“You’re awake early,” Leto says as he sits down next to you, immediately grabbing one of your hands into his larger, warmer ones.

“I can never sleep without you,” you tell him honestly, just happy to have a secret little moment with him in the middle of his busy day, “and the weather is perfect for a walk.”

“Then let’s walk,” the Duke stands, using his grasp on your hand to gently pull you up with him, and the two of you continue on your journey throughout the gardens, even venturing down towards the rocky beach where the waves crash against the shore, creating a calming melody that could put you to sleep.

Turning to face Leto, you can’t help but adore the way he looks with his hair all wind blown and his cheeks ruddy from the chill in the air.

“We should head back,” he says, and as much as you want to protest you know he’s already risking the wrath of his advisors by being out with you now, so you just hold his hand tighter and let him lead you back towards the castle.

Stepping back inside, you realize just how cold you had gotten when you feel the heat from the fires roaring in all the hearths. Bidding your husband farewell, you venture back to your room to warm up, wishing Leto could come with you but planning how you could manage to steal him away for a few moments every day for a walk through the gardens.

#😩😩❤️

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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#this is how it goes every single time

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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The greatest films of all time were never made

Chapter 1 of If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you

Warnings: none for this chapter i think

“This one looks interesting.”

“This one at least looks like something.”

“It’s like yin yung but with swans.”

Jamie’s not sure what he’s doing here – he has never been much of an art connoisseur. So how did he get here? Keeley, of course. She was gushing about this amazing art exhibition that she was going to go with a friend, she even managed to get invitations to the opening night. Unfortunately, at the last minute, something came up and she couldn’t go, so Jamie just had to go instead of her. She promised that he and Jenna, her “date”, would definitely get along. Jamie’s not stupid, he knows when he’s being set up. He doesn't think Keeley was even trying to hide it that much. And he trusts her enough to know that she wouldn’t do this unless she really thought that it was worth a shot, so he went with it. And so far, it has been going well. Nothing extraordinary, but better than he expected. Jenna is nice, she’s pretty, she’s chatty, easygoing, and she seems to be really enjoying the exhibition.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jamie finally sees a painting he can recognize. “Never understood what’s so special about it. It’s just lines and squares.”

“To be honest, me neither. But I guess there is something if people are willing to pay millions for it.” Jenna moves on to the next artwork. “What about this one?” Just some funky doodles, if you ask Jamie. “‘Youth’,” she reads the name.

“This is just a bunch of colorful shapes, I could do that.”

“And this is ‘Childhood’ and ‘Old Age’,” she gestures at the two paintings near them. “It says it’s a series of ten paintings, ‘The Ten Largest’, each one representing a stage in a human’s life.”

“It’s still a bunch of doodles.”

“I don’t know, I like these. Now I wanna see what the other seven look like.”

“I’m sure it’s on the internet.”

While Jenna is trying to look up the paintings online, Jamie looks around the gallery. The room is filled with men in fancy suits and women in expensive dresses, a bunch of waiters serving champagne, and security guards.

Many people seem to know each other, engaging in conversations or staring profoundly at the artworks. A bunch of posh twats is what Jamie would call them. Ain’t no way even half of them know what the fuck they are staring at. Not that he does either, but at least he can admit it.

Jamie’s about to conclude his observations when something catches his eye. Just for a brief moment, he thinks he saw a familiar face – one Jamie used to know so well. He doesn’t quite believe it at first, but then he looks again, and there it is. A bit different now, but Jamie would still recognize it anywhere. Wearing a silky black dress, with a glass of champagne in her hand and a charming smile on her face, she was standing right there, talking to a couple so called posh twats. Y/n.

She meets his eyes for a second as her head moves, and then she pauses, her eyes going back to him and surprise visible on her face.

Too soon, one of the rich-looking old men approaches her and snatches her attention, an easy smile appearing on her face again as she joins another conversation.

“Look.” Jamie hears Jenna talk. He looks back at her to see her showing her phone screen to him. There are the paintings from the series: different colors, same vibe.

“Yeah, cool,” is all Jamie can come up with.

Another half an hour goes by, and Jamie just continues following Jenna around the room. But while Jenna is looking at the art, Jamie’s a lot more interested in the crowd now. He keeps searching for Y/n’s face again and again as she makes her way through the gallery. She meets his eyes a couple of times, but other than that her attention stays on the people she’s talking to. Does she know all of them? Does she attend such events often? Is it the crowd she hangs out with now? Well, art has always been her thing. But rich twats and small talk? Not so much.

They stop in front of another painting: a red tree on a blue background.

“Why is the tree red?” Jamie says the first thing on his mind.

“Because it’s impressionism, and the painting is called ‘The Red Tree’.” Jamie’s heart skips a beat at the sound of an oh so familiar voice.

“This one stands out, you know, from all the squares,” Jenna smiles at Y/n.

“It does,” Y/n chuckles. “This is one of Mondrian’s earlier works, before he really dove into the whole abstractionism thing. He’s actually quite known for his paintings of trees, but this one is the most remarkable, in my opinion. It’s one of the first works where he used his famous red-blue-yellow color scheme.”

“That’s so interesting. You’re an art fan?”

“Kinda. I work here, so that helps.” Wait, what?

“Oh, that’s amazing! What’s your favorite piece here?”

“Well, I love this,” Y/n points at the painting in front of them. “But between us, af Klint is my favorite here. Have you seen ‘The Swan’?”

“Yes! I thought it was very interesting, but Jamie didn’t share my enthusiasm,” Jenna playfully puts her hand on Jamie’s arm, and he smiles awkwardly at Y/n.

“That checks out.” She smiles knowingly at him for a brief second. “The abstract one next to it is actually from the same series. There are a lot of them, but those two are the only ones I could get here. But No. 1 is my favorite anyway. I also love all of her botanical drawings.”

“We haven’t got to them yet.”

“You absolutely should. They are very simple, but I guess that’s exactly why I like them. ‘Violet Blossoms’ is my personal favorite.”

“We’ll definitely check them out. Must be so cool, always being surrounded by art?”

“Oh, you should ask the artists. I am mostly surrounded by paperwork,” Y/n huffs a laugh.

It’s very weird watching a woman that he’s just met today and a woman that he’s known for half of his life but hasn’t seen in years casually chatting right in front of him. And he’s not even part of the conversation.

“I really love this exhibition, though. You did a fantastic job with it.”

“Thank you, I’m glad you like it. Well, I’m gonna leave you to it. Hope you enjoy your evening.” Y/n smiles so casually at Jamie, as if he’ll be able to think about anything but her for the rest of the night. Maybe for the rest of his life.

“Thank you!” Jenna easily returns her smile.

And just like that, Y/n was gone. And Jamie’s still standing there like an idiot, watching her disappear in the crowd again. He had spent years wondering if he would ever get to talk to her again, and now that she was right there standing in front of him, all he could do was just stand there smiling awkwardly at her because he couldn’t come up with a single coherent thing to say.

They finish their walk-through. Jenna shares Y/n’s appreciation for the flower drawings, and knowing that Y/n loves them makes Jamie see something special in them too. They kinda remind him of the drawings Y/n used to sketch in her notebook when she couldn’t care enough to pay attention to the class.

Jamie drives Jenna back to her place and walks her to the front door, being a gentleman and all. She opens the door and stands facing him. Jamie can tell that he’s welcome to come in.

“The gallery curator, do you know her?” That was not what he expected her to say.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, just seemed like she was the only thing that really interested you tonight.” There’s no bitterness in her tone, just curiosity, maybe.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“No, no. It’s fine, I didn’t mean it like that. I had a good time tonight. But I think we both can do better.” She smiles at him.

“Yeah, yeah, me too. Had a good time.”

“You can still come in, you know. No strings attached. Just a little bit more of a good time.”

“I think I’m good.” Jenna smiles knowingly.

Jamie spends the whole drive home and the rest of the night trying to process what the hell has happened. And the date that he was supposedly on didn’t even make the front page of the things on his mind. It’s all Y/n, Y/n, Y/n.

He didn’t even know that she lives in London now. Well, probably. She has to if she said that she works in the gallery. And it makes no sense for him to be surprised that he didn’t know – he hadn’t talked to her in half a decade. Six years, to be precise. Of course, that’s plenty of time to move. But it still feels weird to know that she has been so close, and he had no idea. How long has she been here? Has she thought about him over those years? Does she even want to talk to him after how things ended between them?

There is no way Jamie could ever just let this go now. He knows it will eat him alive if he doesn’t at least try to reach out to her. If she tells him to go fuck himself, well, he proabably deserves it. But if there’s even a small chance that Jamie could get her back in his life, he will take it.

Knowing where Y/n works is a pretty good start – he knows for a fact how to find her. Jamie checks the gallery’s work hours and settles to wait for her outside. Like a creep. But, hey, they know each other, so it doesn’t count.

Almost an hour passes after the closing before Y/n walks out of the gallery, waving goodbye to one of her coworkers. She starts walking to her car while reaching into her coat’s pocket for the keys.

“Y/n!” She stops, then slowly turns around to the source of the familiar voice. “Hi,” Jamie smiles sheepishly at her.

“Hi.”

“We didn’t really get a chance to talk yesterday, and I really hoped that we could… so…”

“So you were waiting for me outside of my work like a stalker?” she suggests.

“Maybe. So can we? Talk?”

“Now? Here?” she gestures at the surrounding parking lot.

“We can meet up? Like for dinner or something?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jamie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Give me your number? I, uh, tried to call you once a few years back, it said your number was no longer working.”

“Oh, yeah, got a new one. Hold on.” Y/n takes her phone and opens the keypad, turning the screen towards Jamie.

He starts typing out his number. “So you live in London now?”

“Mhm, moved a couple of years ago.” Jamie pressed the call button, and his phone lights up with a number.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“No, sorry. The day after?”

“Away match, gonna be gone till Saturday. Sunday?”

“Yes, Sunday works.”

“Mint.”

“See you soon, then,” Y/n smiles at him before taking the car keys back in her hand.

“See you.”

Jamie didn’t realize how anxious he was about this meeting until he was walking back to his car, feeling like his steps were a hundred times lighter and a smile was growing on his face.

Sunday couldn’t have come soon enough. Jamie and Y/n agreed on the time and place over texts, and Jamie offered to pick her up, but she declined. Jamie has never been this nervous before any date, and this is not even a date. Just two old friends catching up. Could he even still call them friends? He wants to believe that yes, but realistically, six years, almost seven, is a long fucking time. Jamie knows that a lot has happened in his life since the last time he saw Y/n, and knowing her, just as much has probably happened in hers. On the brighter side, she didn't seem to be mad at him. So maybe six years is also enough time for her to forget why they haven’t talked for that long in the first place. Either way, this is the chance that Jamie was hoping for, and he will not waste it.

Jamie gets dressed, nice enough but not too dressed up, and makes sure to arrive on time. Just a few minutes later, Y/n gets there too. Jamie stands up as she makes her way to the table, feeling his mouth go dry.

“You look good.” Jamie goes for casual.

“Thank you, you too,” she smiles at him.

“So…” How is it that Jamie has spent every waking hour thinking about what he’s going to say to Y/n, but every time she’s in front of him, no words can come out of his mouth?

Fortunately, Y/n spares him the awkwardness. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good, yeah. Won the match yesterday.”

“That’s great! Who were you playing with?” Jamie can’t tell if she really cares or is just asking to be polite.

“Brentford.” Y/n is smiling and nodding, Jamie recognizes this one. “You don’t know who they are, do you?”

“No idea,” she chuckles. “But you won, so I guess they’re not as good, huh.”

“Maybe we’re just that good.”

“We, as in AFC Richmond?” She teases.

“That’s a long story…”

“And there’s a reality show involved somewhere in there.”

“Oh my God, you saw that?” Jamie wants the earth to swallow him whole.

“Some parts of it. Honestly, Jamie, I thought I raised you better than that.”

“Not my finest moment.”

“But, hey, look at you now. Heard you’re playing for the national team now. And Roy Kent’s your manager! This is, like, your childhood wet dream.”

“It was not!”

“Is his poster still on your wall? Do not lie to me.” Y/n squints at him.

“I don’t live in that room anymore!”

“So it is still there.”

“Oh, fuck off!” They both laugh. And it feels so fucking good. Just like the old times – Y/n teasing him, laughing together, just talking like two friends.

“Okay, that’s not fair. I don’t know anything about you,” Jamie starts again after their little laugh break. “How have you been? I mean, running a gallery? That’s awesome.”

“Well, I don’t run it. I’m just a curator. But yeah, it is pretty cool. I’ve been doing alright.”

“Never thought I’d see you living in England again, to be honest.”

A weird look flickers in Y/n’s eyes before she puts her perfect smile back in place. “Yeah, well, it was a long way. Loved Paris, and, God, Amsterdam was great, but in the end I decided to be closer to my family.”

Jamie beams. “How’s Natalie? How’s Amelia? She’s what, fourteen now?”

“Fifteen. God, she’s a handful.”

“It runs in the family,” Jamie says with a cheeky grin.

Y/n snorts. “Evidently.”

“Mom said you sold your house.”

“Oh, yeah, it was, like, five years ago. Nat finally decided to move to London. Oh my God, how’s Georgie? Her and Simon still together?”

“She’s good, yes. They got married!”

“Oh, that’s great! Told you he’s a good guy!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. She asks about you sometimes, you know.”

“Well, tell her that I’m doing well and sending her my best wishes.”

“Will do.” Jamie and Y/n smile warmly at each other across the table.

They end up talking for hours. Jamie tells Y/n about meeting Roy for the first time, about his Richmond teammates, and (by Y/n’s demand) about Keeley. Y/n tells him crazy stories from her university years, about all the places she’s lived in before moving to London, and about the struggles of raising a teenager.

When it gets late and they walk out of the restaurant, Jamie offers to give Y/n a ride again, which she accepts this time.

Jamie stops by her place, and they exchange goodbyes. “Tell Natalie and Meli I said hi. Would love to see them some time too.”

“I’ll tell them. It was nice seeing you, Jamie,” she smiles at him.

“Yeah, you too.” Y/n reaches for the door handle when Jamie speaks up again. “Wait.” She looks back at him. “Can I ask you something?” A nod. “You knew all this stuff, like who I play for and, uh, other. How?”

Y/n huffs a laugh. “You’re not exactly a low profile person. Sometimes Nat would say something, since she was more subjected to the Premier League news… and certain reality shows.” Jamie internally cringes at the thought that Y/n’s sister has seen it too. “And I have the Internet too, you know. Got curious a couple of times, wanted to see how you’re doing, so I googled you. Pretty convenient.”

“Right.” Knowing that Y/n has thought of him over those past years too, even enough to look him up, gives Jamie the courage to ask the question that he’s dreaded hearing the answer for. “You’re not mad at me?”

“For what?” Y/n asks genuinely.

“For the way I… for how I acted back then.” Y/n understands what he means.

She doesn’t seem to share Jamie’s inner turmoil regarding the past, though. “It was a long time ago, Jamie. People fall apart, it happens.”

“But not us,” Jamie says desperately. “It was my fault. And I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

Y/n regards him for a moment, as if trying to figure something out, then she nods. “Okay.”

“Do you think we can be friends again?” Jamie asks hopefully.

“If you want.”

“I do!”

“You have my number,” she smiles at him one last time.

—

You sigh as you drop the keys on the hall tree and take off your shoes. You hear the noise coming from the living room, and when you walk in there, you find Amelia stretched on the couch, surrounded by a bunch of empty takeout boxes, watching TV. “Glad you’re enjoying your night,” you greet her.

“I left you a piece of cake,” she nods towards the bitten slice of cake that she clearly just couldn't finish.

“That’s so kind of you,” you say with obvious irony.

“Did you enjoy yours?” she grins at you.

“It was alright.”

“Just alright?”

You sit on the arm of the couch. “Kinda weird.”

“Weird how?”

“Like when you watch the first two seasons of a show and then go straight to season twelve. The faces are familiar, but you have no idea what the fuck is going on.”

“Out of the two of us, you’re the only one who does this, but I get what you mean. Did you do a recap? You know, like a ‘previously on…’?”

“Yeah, something like that. But, you know, it’s been a while.” She nods thoughtfully. You look at the TV screen, some action movie playing there. “What are you watching?”

“Uncharted.”

“Tom Holland game movie?”

“Mhm. I can finish later, you wanna watch something together?”

“Sure, just let me go change.”

You change into your home clothes and join Amelia on the couch.

“You never said why you stopped talking. I remember he was always around, and then he just wasn’t,” she says while you’re watching the Disney+ loading screen.

“Well, I moved to Paris, and he started playing full-time. And then he just kinda… ghosted me.”

“Asshole.”

You snort. “I know, right? He apologized, actually. Didn’t expect that.”

“You’re going to see him again?” She starts scrolling through the suggested shows.

“I don’t know. Maybe. He offered us to come to a match if you want.”

“Maybe,” Amelia replies noncommittally. “The Mandalorian?” She clicks on the show’s icon.

“Yes.” You pick up the uneaten piece of cake and lean back onto the couch cushions, resting your feet on the side table. Now, that’s a man that you’re always happy to see.

A/N: writing this fic while i’m dying inside and falling behind on my uni deadlines😗✌️

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x you #ted lasso fic

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you — masterlist

Jamie Tartt x f!reader

Summary: childhood friends to strangers to lovers

‧₊˚♡ Chapter 1 – the greatest films of all time were never made

‧₊˚♡ Chapter 2 –

‧₊˚♡ Chapter 3 –

‧₊˚♡ Chapter 4 –

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x you #ted lasso fic

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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Omg imagine Jamie with a partner who collects flowers to put in her book. so when Roy and Jamie are out training in the morning Jamie looks for flowers and picks them and Roy’s like wtf and then Jamie explains that his partner collects them. So Jamie comes home with a coffee and a flower you don’t have yet ever noting.. ahhh I don’t know if this is good or not

THIS IS SO CUTE SO SO SO CUTE

Here's a little baby drabble

"What the fuck are you doing?" Roy barked when he realized Jamie wasn't behind him.

Jamie was walking through the garden of some stranger's house. He was parading around, carefully stepping over bushes and flowers.

"Gotta find a new flower," he said simply, looking around himself.

Roy grunted and rolled his eyes. "Look Jamie, you can garden in your own time, now we have to finish our run."

Jamie waved Roy off. Roy looked around and huffed, crossing his arms as Jamie continued to step around the garden.

The porch light flicked on, and a middle age man opened the front door.

"What are you doing in my garden?" He asked, looking between Roy and Jamie. "Hang on, you're Roy Kent!" Roy growled. "And you're-"

"Jamie Tartt, yeah, can I take this flower," he pointed at a weird looking purple flower that had several thin petals sticking out from its purple bud.

The man shrugged. "Sure."

"Mint, thanks, mate!" Jamie reached down and delicately picked the flower. "What's it called?"

The man came over and took out his glasses to look at the flower. "Oh, good choice, that is a Spider Daisy, a lovely color, the latin name is Osteo-"

"Cheers, mate, gotta dash," Jamie cut him off, stepping out of the garden and starting his jog again, carefully shielding the flower in his grasp.

Roy let out a sigh, thanked the man, and started to run off after Jamie.

...

You woke up to the sound of your alarm at 7:30 in the morning. It was criminal to be awake this early, especially when Jamie wasn't home yet. You grumbled and shoved your face back into the pillow.

As if on cue, the front door opened and Jamie was calling your name. You only let out a loud grunt in return, hoping he'd come in there and drag you out of bed.

The first thing you felt was his lips on your temple.

"Morning, love," He chuckled, brushing his fingers through your hair.

"Mmmm," you groaned back.

"I brought you something."

You rolled over onto your side and saw him holding out a cup of coffee. You let out a muted squeal of glee as you shuffled to a sitting position. You took a long sip of the coffee before letting a lazy smile come onto you face.

"Better?" Jamie chuckled.

"Better," You responded, nodding. "Morning, Jamie."

He grinned, leaning into towards you. "Morning."

You cupped his jaw as he leaned in to kiss you. This was a beautiful way to wake up wasn't it. You couldn't imagine a better way to wake up.

"I, uh, got you something else," Jamie mumbled. It was then you noticed he hand an arm behind his back. You cocked your head, motioning for him to continue. He pulled out the flower he'd picked up.

You're eyes widened as you smiled. "Oh, wow! It's gorgeous!"

You put aside your coffee to delicately take the flower with both hands. Jamie looked at your face as you gazed at it, reveling in his success in making you light up.

"The bloke said it was a Spider Daisy," Jamie told you, glancing between you and the flower. "I thought it looked cool."

"It does," you echoed. You traced the flower and it's interesting shape and look. "I'll press it right now."

She handed the flower back to Jamie and flew out of the bed, now suddenly much more awake. Jamie laughed as you ran to your desk and pulled out a book. You weren't wearing pants, your hair was wild, and he was pretty sure that was a wine stain on your shirt but he didn't care, he thought you looked beautiful.

You flipped through the pages, full of different flowers and dates.

"This one is so special, Jamie," you mused, coming to sit next to him on the bed. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, babe," Jamie murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He was aiming for your lips but you were too excited to press your flower and turned away. He grumbled and flopped back on the bed.

This was so cute! I hope you enjoy!

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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#i think about him so much it’s unhealthy #love how everyone is wearing their kits and then there’s jamie is his slutty little tank top

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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From Friends To This

Chapter 7 of There’s Nothing Like This

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!footballer!reader

Warnings: none :)

Word Count: 2.3k

Author’s Note: just one more chapter…

After your realization, you spend the rest of your night spiraling, despite your many attempts to relax. As you watched TV, as you got ready for bed, as you tried to fall asleep, all you could think about was Jamie; what he was doing, what he was thinking, what his reaction would be if you ever told him.

Would you even be able to tell him?

You can’t remember the last time you’ve felt like this, can’t even imagine ever feeling this way towards anyone, but Jamie is so important to you as a friend, you can’t imagine not having him in your life because obviously he would never speak to you again if you said you loved him. Staring at your ceiling, you resolve to bottle up your feelings until they disappear or you die, and you finally fall into a restless sleep.

Most of your Sunday is spent trying to forget about the day before, about your realization and the terror that ensued, but it seems like no matter what you do, the universe keeps reminding you of the thoughts you’d rather bury. Every movie playing on TV is a romantic comedy, and when you go on your phone to escape, you’re met with texts and Instagram posts from the very person you were hoping to avoid. It isn’t fair to ignore Jamie, though, because as far as he knows, you’re still two friends who have no romantic feelings for each other.

It hurts you, though, when you’re typing out your responses and acting like everything’s alright, because you know you could never live like this, couldn’t survive the stabbing pain in your heart whenever you see or hear or think about Jamie. Despite your resolution from last night to bottle up your feelings until you die, you know you need to tell Jamie sooner rather than later, to bring you both some peace.

Jamie’s a good guy, and he’s nothing like what you’d thought he’d be like, so all you can do is hope that he’ll take your confession with a smile and a laugh and then you can go back to being friends and pretend like nothing ever happened and hopefully your feelings for him will just evaporate with time, even though you’re pretty sure you fall more in love with him whenever you think of him.

After a restless Sunday and another night of anxious sleep, you’re irritated Monday morning by every single thing that happens to you. Your bed doesn’t look quite right even after you make and remake it, you can’t find one of your socks, you forgot to wash your favorite water bottle, and you’re all out of basically everything you could want to eat, so when you hear a knock on the door, you’re just about ready to scream.

“You should start locking this,” Mackie says as she enters your house without waiting for you to open the door and suddenly everything seems a little bit better, “you look like shit.” Coming from anyone else, that comment would probably make you burst into tears and lock yourself away in your bedroom for the foreseeable future, but knowing Mackie, it’s just her way of asking if you’re alright.

And, honestly, she’s probably right, you haven’t been sleeping so you’re sure there are prominent bags under your eyes and you’re all anxious and annoyed, so it’s not like you’re giving off an aura of relaxation. You don’t respond to her, instead filling up your sub-par water bottle and grabbing your bag from the counter, sure that someone has a protein bar or fruit that you could steal for breakfast when you make it to the Dog Track.

“What’s up with you?” Mackie asks before you can leave, situating herself in front of your door even though she’s the one with the car keys.

“Nothings up with me,” you reply and you know you sound defensive but you can’t help it, you’re not in the mood to talk about your feelings. You’ve forgotten that Mackie knows you so well, you don’t even need to tell her anything.

“So you’ve figured it out,” she says with a knowing little smirk that would irritate you if it was coming from anyone else.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” and you busy yourself with taking a long sip from your water bottle, signaling that the conversation is over and you don’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Jamie’s in love with you,” a little water dribbles out of your mouth in shock, and you’re surprised you didn’t fully spray Mackie with your mouth full of water at her casual tone of such a heavy statement.

“He’s not in love with me,” you scoff, trying to fight your way around Mackie to get outside because suddenly the air in your house is suffocating.

“Are you blind? He’s totally in love with you, he’s always looking at you with those big puppy dog eyes and I always catch him searching for you whenever the team walks past him,”

“How do you know he’s even searching for me?” You’re not sure why, but you’re desperate for Mackie to be wrong.

“Because his whole face lights up whenever he sees you,” catching a glance at the time on her phone, Mackie turns to leave, but not before saying, “you should talk to him about it,” clearly intending to leave this conversation at your house and not carrying it over to the car.

Despite your earlier resolve, now your hands are all sweaty and your mouth is dry at the prospect of even seeing Jamie, let alone talking to him and confessing your love. Mackie had given you false hope, hope that maybe instead of laughing and things going back to normal, you and Jamie could be something more, and now that that idea is swirling around in your brain, you think it’ll crush you when it never happens.

The drive is spent chatting idly, asking about each other’s weekends as if Mackie didn’t just turn your whole world upside down. You hate the way she smirks when you say you and Jamie had dinner together, as if you and her have never gone out to a restaurant together or ordered takeout to eat on the couch. It makes your heart beat a little faster, makes your brain spiral and spiral because if everyone else can see it, maybe there really can be something more.

Walking into Nelson Road, you bump into Sam and Jamie, who’re leaving from an early morning training session.

“Are you ready for your last game on Saturday?” Sam asks and then pays no attention to Mackie’s answer as he’s too busy glancing at you and then Jamie and then back again. Eventually, though, he tunes back in, and gives you one of his hundred-watt smiles.

Continuing on, you pretend like you can’t feel Sam’s eyes on the back of your head and you ignore the looks Mackie sends you as soon as Jamie’s behind you.

“Can we act like adults, maybe?” You turn to her before entering the dressing room, stopping the witty remark you knew was coming. In fact, her mouth was already open, but she makes a show of snapping it shut and locking it with an imaginary key.

All throughout training, it’s like everyone’s staring at you and whispering behind your back, bringing up feelings of being friendless and alone on the playground, kicking a soccer ball against a wall because no one wanted to play with you. It makes you feel jittery and nervous, and you can barely focus on running drills. You wonder how everyone else seems to be doing perfectly fine with multitasking, training and making you feel like a bug under a microscope.

Back in the dressing room, you turn to your locker to change out of your sweaty clothes when you can feel 40 eyes boring into the back of your skull, and you just can’t take it anymore.

“What is everyone’s problem?” You ask, turning around at lightning speed and watching as your teammates jump. At least they have the sense to look embarrassed, but you aren’t sure if it’s because of their actions or because they were caught. “We have the biggest match of our lives on Saturday and you all seem to be more concerned with whispering about me than training.”

They squirm, and you feel a little bad for them, but as their captain, you need to get to the bottom of whatever’s happening before Saturday because if you’re not playing like a unit then, everything you’ve worked for is worthless.

“We just want you to be happy,” Elena says, talking to you like you’re a small child throwing a tantrum or a frightened animal.

“Then leave me alone and focus on training,” you spit, feeling like a caged animal and you’re sick of it.

Elena, though, knows you too well to let you off the hook so easily, and continues to act as spokeswoman of the group.

“C’mon, we all see it, and you clearly seem a little preoccupied today,” she says with a knowing head tilt, complete with a little smile you find infuriatingly adorable, “just talk to him.”

Now it’s your turn to squirm, uncomfortable with how clearly everyone can see something that you can’t. You wonder if they’ve thought you were lying every time you’d adamantly declared that you were just friends, even though your revelation only came a few days ago. It’s also a little embarrassing how no one needs to say his name, that’s how obvious it’s been to everyone but you that there was something else going on.

“Fine,” you declare, finally cracking a small smile, “I’ll talk to him, just so you guys get off my back.” Your teammates cheer, and you can’t help but laugh at how absurd the whole situation was. Hopefully now they can focus on preparing for Saturday’s match, and after you decide how you’ll talk to Jamie, you’ll be able to spend all your energy getting ready as well.

Changing as quick as you can and turning down both a shower in the locker room and a ride from Mackie, you start your walk home, needing time to clear your head and think of a plan, knowing that if you at least have some idea of what you want to say you won’t make a total fool of yourself in front of Jamie. During your walk, you think over and over how best to confess your feelings to Jamie, and coming up with nothing, you decide to take an extra long shower because that’s where you do your best thinking.

All of that goes down the drain, though, when you see a familiar car parked in your driveway.

“Jamie?” You ask, seeing the man in question sitting on your front step, fiddling with his hands and looking shocked at your arrival.

“Uh, yeah, hey, hi,” he stands, tucking his hands in his pockets and looking more nervous than you’ve ever seen him, “I was wondering if we could talk for a minute.”

Unsure of what he could mean, you nod anyway, moving around him to unlock your front door and gesturing for him to follow you inside.

“Want tea or coffee or something?” You ask, heading into the kitchen mostly so you have something to do, so you don’t think too hard about what’s going on and freak yourself out.

“No, thank you,” Jamie sits himself at your kitchen table as you turn on the kettle, even though you aren’t really in the mood for tea, you have so much energy flowing through you that it needs an outlet.

“What did you wanna talk about?” You ask, head buried in your cupboard as you look for a box of tea, even though you know there’s one on the counter.

“Are you gonna sit?” Jamie asks instead of answering, “I kinda wanted to talk face to face, yeah?”

Sighing, knowing he’s right and knowing you can’t keep stalling anymore, you turn off the kettle and take a seat across from Jamie, the weight of his gaze on you making something painful and wonderful bloom in your chest. A few more seconds of silence pass by before Jamie clears his throat and shifts in his seat.

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it, yeah?” He takes a breath, as if whatever he’s about to say is physically strenuous, and then it all tumbles out. “I think I’m in love with you, which I know is weird ‘cause we’re mates and all and I can’t really remember when I realized it so maybe I’ve always been in love with ya, but I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable or mean we can’t be friends or anything like that.”

It’s silent again, and you’re soaking in everything Jamie just said but he clearly takes your silence to mean something else.

“Just thought you should know,” he says quietly and he stands, looking a little like a kicked puppy.

“Jamie, hang on,” you stand and follow him to the door, desperate to not let this opportunity slip through your fingers, “you can’t just say all that and expect me to respond right away.” You chastise him, but you’re smiling, unable to keep your joy and relief off your face.

It’s almost impossible to come up with anything else to say, you’re so overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts swirling through your head, but you know Jamie deserves a response after he’d poured his heart out to you. Instead of speaking, though, you do the next best thing and place your hands on the side of his jaw, pulling him towards you while giving him time to pull away.

He doesn’t, instead wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you even closer, and then you’re kissing and it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of. He’s so perfect and he’s all you can think about, your senses and your mind becoming overwhelmed with him. It doesn’t matter, though, because for once in your life you can ignore your brain and focus on the moment, focus on Jamie and his hands and the gentle way he kisses you, like you might disappear.

You grip him harder, sure your nails are leaving little indents in his skin but needing him to know that you aren’t going anyway.

Tags: @andr0medafallen @whimsical-roasting @sokkigarden @hopefulromances @buckychristwrites @guccilongboard @onceuponaoneshot @presidential-facts @yepyeahuhhuh @allthefandomtherapy @gibby31 @buddyjuststop @ellietartt @cancvr @brianandthemays @sonyume @aiyaiy @captainfrisbee @dalebo @theloud-yet-quietone @imsoluckyeverythingworksoutforme @rockchickrebel @legobatmans9thab @curlypeter @lostinwonderland314 @yokolesbianism @jamietarttdodo @fan-goddess @innocentbi-stander @skewedcherries

#finally!!

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caapsiizzereads · 7 months

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This is your friendly reminder that Keeley Jones deserves more love than she receives <3

#!!!!

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caapsiizzereads · 8 months

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Another writer who can’t/won’t write smut. My sister 🫶🏻🫶🏻

It makes me want to die from cringe i can’t 😭 glad we’re not alone in this.

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caapsiizzereads · 8 months

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#jamie tartt x reader

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caapsiizzereads · 8 months

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Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen: Free

Plot: The morning after Y/n and Jamie’s heartbreaking talk, an unexpected savior shows up on Y/n’s door, leaving her at a crossroads.

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: f!reader, language, mention of child neglect/abuse, mention of sex

A/N: THIS IS IT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS THE CHAPTER. I’m so excited for you guys to read this one and have all your questions answered. I hope the payoff is as sweet as you’ve been expecting. Y’all have been so enthusiastic over the last few chapters, it really makes me smile. Enjoy!! ❤️💙💛

———————

Heartache could spread through the body just as easily as illness. Y/n’s head was fogged, her limbs hurt and she felt nauseous the second she opened her eyes.

Somehow she managed to call room service and order breakfast, plain toast and coffee, before falling back into bed. The clock read 10AM, she hasn’t slept that long in years. Then again, there wasn’t much sleep had.

The weight of Jamie’s confession weighed in her chest just as heavily as the moment he’d made it. She’d been up till some unholy hour, replaying the whole thing. His words, the quiver in his voice, his lips against her face…it reduced Y/n fits of tears, breaking her over and over.

There was no question as to whether she should skip the match or not. Not only did she have no desire to be around people, but she didn’t want to mess with Jamie’s head any more than she already had. She was worried enough she’d already cost him the game.

A rhythmic knock at her door signaled room service arriving. Y/n trudged across the room and opened the door, expecting to meet the waiter.

Instead, she got Ted, comically lifting the lid off the platter.

“Mornin’ sunshine!”

Y/n sighed, smiling as much as she could, which wasn’t very much.

Ted, however, found himself hilarious. “Room service fella was about to knock right as I was walkin’ by. Thought I’d have some fun with it.”

“Of course,” Y/n gestured to the room, “Come on in.”

Ted set the tray down on the table before turning back to Y/n, who was already moving to the other side of the room. There was a stiffness to her posture, as if she’d allowed a home invader in. Ted was well familiarized with her character, but he hadn’t seen her so reserved since she first started at Richmond.

“So what’s up?” Y/n asked, her tone devoid of any life.

“Oh, I just wanted to check up on you,” Ted shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets, “Haven’t seen ya in a while.”

“Yeah, things have been busy.”

“I bet,” Ted smiled, “You and Keeley must be kickin’ butt over there. The Dynamic Duo, but with gobs more style.”

Y/n chucked politely, playing with her hands out of nervousness.

Ted waited, watching as Y/n tried to dodge his line of vision. He didn’t expect an explanation to fly out of her mouth, but she was clearly on edge. His chances of waiting her out were decent.

“Well, we’re all glad you’re back,” Ted added, “Owner’s box has been lonely without you, I’ll bet.”

Y/n shut her eyes, it made the lying easier. “Yeah, Ted, I don’t think I can make this one.”

His face didn’t fall an inch, “Oh no. Something wrong?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep,” she continued, that part was true. She thought she remembered the clock reading 5AM around the time exhaustion took over.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” Ted played along, “I know the boys miss havin’ you around.”

Y/n slipped around the topic, walking to the window. “They excited for today?”

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded, “Revved up and ready to go.”

“That’s good,” she kicked her foot against the wall and diverted her gaze to the curtains. “How’s, uh…how’s Jamie?”

Ted studied Y/n, taking in her fidgeting hands and the exaggerated effort to her words. As hard as she tried, Y/n wasn’t that good an actress.

“He’s alright,” Ted answered, “Bit off, y’know. Little bit like you.”

With every word exchanged, Y/n could feel Ted unraveling the whole thing. He could see right through her.

“That’s too bad,” she said, her voice wobbling. The tears that she’d fallen asleep with were reawakening.

“Yeah, it is,” Ted agreed, “I sure hope he figures out whatever’s botherin’ him before the game.”

“Mm-hmm,” Y/n hummed, feeling like she couldn’t breathe, “He’s got a lot of people counting on him.”

“Yeah, but that ain’t as big a deal,” Ted took a seat on the edge of Y/n’s bed. “I’m more concerned with him, y’know. Why he’s hurtin’.”

Ted noticed Y/n’s shoulders begin to tremble.

“Why he’s keepin’ whatever it is to himself rather than leanin’ on somebody.”

Y/n wiped her hands over her face, her cheeks wet with guilt. She had finally reached it, her dreaded breaking point.

She turned to Ted, who looked at her as only a father could. He knew.

“You wanna tell me anything goin’ on?”

Crossing the room and sinking down on the mattress next to Ted, Y/n softly sobbed.

“Is it Jamie?” Ted asked.

Y/n bit her lip.

“Is it us?”

She sniffled.

“Whole enchilada?”

Y/n’s trembled as she inhaled, “I’m scared, Ted.”

“Of what?”

“This,” she gestured around them, “Richmond. This whole thing.”

Ted waited for her to explain further.

“I grew up having to fight for every shred of attention,” Y/n continued, “Doing everything I could to get my parents to…care. And no matter what I did, they never loved me. Not like parents are supposed to love their kids. And when I realized that, I just…shut everyone out. In high school, in college…and it worked. I was safe. I didn’t have to worry about getting hurt.”

“And then I…” Y/n paused, the happy memory washing over her, “I met these two women in a bar and they offered me a job. And suddenly, I’m a part of this sport that I never cared about and there’s this…family I never asked for. And it should have made me happy,” she grasped her stomach, “But it scared me, Ted. It fucking terrified me because you were all so kind and welcoming and you just took me in.”

She stopped to take a breath, “And then Jamie just…” Y/n sniffled, “He just…happened. And that was the scariest part because…”

She couldn’t say the words. Just like 12 hours before, she still couldn’t physically force them out of her body. But somehow, even without speaking, the sentiment got across.

“Hey,” Ted slid an arm around Y/n’s shoulders. His dad mode had been activated.

For the first time in a long time, Y/n allowed herself to be held as she weeped.

“It’s okay,” Ted soothed, rubbing a hand over her arm, “You’re okay.”

After hours of crying underneath her sheets, Y/n thought she had nothing left to give. But the comfort of another person’s presence created a whole new wave. She was letting down from years of self-determination to conquer her pain on her own.

“Y’know,” Ted said after a moment, “Openin’ yourself up’s one of the scariest things in the world. Anyone who says otherwise’s never really done much hurting. But it’s worth it.”

“How do you know that?” Y/n whimpered.

“You don’t,” Ted stated, “No way to know what’ll happen before it happens. But if you don’t take the risk of gettin’ hurt, you’ll never end up with anything worth having. Just how life works.”

“But y’know,” he sighed, “Where we work…it’s kinda the exception. The people there’re some of the best I’ve ever known. They don’t let you down.”

Y/n’s tears were slowing in speed, but not intensity.

“Know how our right reverend Mr. Rojas likes to say that football is life?” Ted earned a slight smile from Y/n, “Same goes for AFC Richmond. These people’re gonna stick by you through thick and thin. Once you’re a part of the family, you’re there. Doesn’t matter if you wanna be. It’s up to you whether you let ‘em in..but they’re gonna love you whether you like it or not. It’s a heck of a lot easier to just let ‘em.”

Throughout the years, Y/n had lacked many relationships, but that of a parent was the one she’d longed for the most. She needed someone to help guide her, to lovingly correct her when she was making the biggest mistakes of her life. In the moment she needed it most, Ted fit the role perfectly.

Without any prompting, Y/n slipped her arms around Ted’s neck and hugged him.

Ted returned and received it, he’d been going through it too. As true as ever, helping someone out of their pit stitched a little piece of him back together as well. He wanted Y/n to succeed in everything she did and he believed without a doubt that she could. But he wanted her to be happy, truly happy, more than anything.

“Thank you,” she whispered over his shoulder.

“No thanks needed,” he smiled, “I got your back.”

Y/n let go of him slowly and hesitantly. It was 10:30, the match was less than two hours away. “You need to go.”

“I do,” Ted replied, patting her shoulder before standing up, “You think you’re gonna stop by for a bit now? Cheer us on?”

Grimacing slightly, Y/n ducked her head towards the floor.

“C’mon now,” Ted clicked his tongue, “I thought we just made progress.”

Y/n chuckled and wiped under her eyes.

“Well, I hope you change your mind.”

Ted left Y/n with plenty to mediate on and strolled back into the hall, shutting the door behind him. He could lead her to victory, but he couldn’t hand her the win.

Y/n stayed on the bed’s edge a long while after Ted left, contemplating all he’d said. She was at what was potentially the most important crossroads of her life. Heeding Ted’s advice held the possibility of more heartache, more loss, more feelings of inadequacy. But didn’t her isolation already offer that in spades? Wasn’t she hurting enough on her own? Tearing herself down at every opportunity? How could anything possibly be worse than that?

But she had felt worse, twelve hours ago. Breaking Jamie’s heart after he’d poured his out to her had crushed her. She’d hurt him so deeply in the name of self preservation. Walking away from him was the most difficult thing she’d ever done. The worst part was that it was totally avoidable. If she’d have told him that she loved him too, they’d have been saved so much pain. Jamie wouldn’t have had to endure her rejection, Y/n wouldn’t have lost the most important person in her life. The blame was entirely hers.

It wasn’t just Jamie. Y/n was so tired of keeping Keeley at arm’s length. She craved her weekly tea with Rebecca. She missed problem solving with Higgins. She wanted to laugh with Ted and talk life with Beard and annoy Roy. She wanted to go to movies with Sam and drink with Dani and have lunches with Colin. She wanted to cheer the boys on at games and celebrate with them after.

She wanted to win and lose with all of them.

She wanted to be a part of their family.

But to do so, she had to heal her first one.

Before she knew what she was doing, Y/n grabbed her phone off her nightstand. She scrolled through her contacts, even though she had memorized the number in hopes that would somehow equal a call. She pressed the name and dialed.

It rang once.

Twice.

Three times.

Y/n hadn’t expected them to pick up. It was 4-something AM where they were.

The familiar message played, asking her to leave her name and number.

Finally, the machine beeped.

“Hi…it’s me…” she started, suddenly nervous, “It’s Y/n. I know it’s early there, I don’t even know if you are there but…I needed to do this.”

Y/n drew a quick breath, it was now or never. “You guys really fucked me up. Me and Caylee. I mean, we’re really screwed up because of you. Maybe she’s doing better than me, maybe I’m the only one who’s still not over all of it but…you really messed up. And maybe you know that, maybe you don’t, but it’s the truth. I am…” she paused, “So broken because you two couldn’t love me. No— you know what,” her voice gained strength, “You could have loved me. You didn’t. For whatever reason, you didn’t. I did everything I possibly could to earn your love, and I never got it. And that’s fucked up.”

Her anger hastened her heartbeat, urging Y/n to go on. “And I don’t know how to forgive you for that. I know it’s possible, worse people have done worse things and they’ve somehow found a way to still be a family, but…I want to. If not for you guys, for me,” her chest’s rise and falls had evened out, “Because I’m tired of being broken. I’m tired of pushing everybody away. I’m tired of thinking that there’s something unlovable about me. I’m tired of thinking that being alone is somehow better than having people that care about you, and I’m tired of being scared,” Y/n threw her free arm out at her side and laughed, “I’m so tired of being scared.”

“None of this probably makes any sense to you, but, ” she sighed, “Mom, Dad, I don’t want to keep doing this. Only talking on my birthday, seeing you every couple years, not knowing what’s going on in your lives…I don’t want that. I want to know you. I want to come home for Christmas. I want to share my life with you. And if you can’t do that then…I don’t want anything.”

Her own words shocked her, was she really potentially kicking her parents out of her life?

“Because I’ve built a really amazing life here,” she said, her voice faltered with emotion, “With amazing people and they love me. They really love me and I’m crazy about them. And I want you guys to be a part of it,” she exhaled and felt the tears rock forward in her eyes, “And if you don’t want that, that’s okay. I’ll be alright because I have them.”

Y/n sighed, feeling the weight of a lifetime lift off her chest.

“I love you, Mom. I love you, Dad,” she continued, “And I hope you love me, for once, more than you do anything else.”

Y/n lowered the phone, staring at the call time. 2 minutes and 10 seconds was all it had taken. “Bye.”

The moment she disconnected, the room suddenly came to life. There was color to the walls and texture to the curtains. There was light shining in through the window and the smell of the coffee on its tray filled the room.

Y/n was free.

Lightened by the release of her life’s pain, the decision at hand became so clear. Y/n flipped on the hotel television, switching the channel to Sky Sports. The match was already into its second half and the Greyhounds were up by one goal.

She did the math in her head. The stadium was ten minutes away. She could still make it.

Flying across the room, Y/n dug through her suitcase for any clothes that weren’t pajamas. She emptied the contents onto her bed only to spot a familiar piece of fabric tucked in one of the compartments.

Y/n unfolded it.

Jamie’s jersey. Still packed from Wembley.

She laughed under her breath, the coincidence of it all was too perfect.

Y/n slipped on the oversized shirt, same as the last time. She threw on jeans and sneakers, grabbing her phone and coat before racing out her hotel room.

The elevator would take too long, she decided, so she sped down the stairs from the sixth floor all the way to the lobby. Jamie hadn’t been the only one to benefit from Roy’s training sessions.

Y/n bolted out the front doors of the hotel and ran to the sidewalk, waving her hands wildly to the cabs that drove by. Eventually, one stopped for her.

“Where to, love?”

“Ethiad Stadium,” Y/n answered as she hopped in the backseat, “Quick as you can.”

The cabbie got back in his lane and took her the way of the stadium. Y/n buzzed in the backseat, adrenaline pulsing through her veins at what she was doing.

“Could you put the match on?” She asked, most of them were typically broadcasted on the radio.

The driver flipped the station till he found the correct one. Y/n listened intently from the backseat, hanging on every word.

Halfway to the stadium, the cab hit typical game day traffic. After waiting impatiently a few minutes, the commentators announced there were twenty minutes left on the clock. If nothing changed in the next thirty seconds, Y/n would miss it entirely.

“You know what,” she reached into her coat pocket, picking a few bills from her wallet and throwing them in the front seat, “Keep the change.”

Y/n ignored the confused calls of the driver as she slid out the backseat into traffic. She ran through the lines of cars until she hit sidewalk. With every slap of her foot against the sidewalk, she could feel Ted’s words penetrate her heart even further. This was what she was supposed to feel.

The sight of Ethiad Stadium welcomed her. Guided by signage, she sprinted to the back entrance she’d usually come through with Rebecca and Keeley. Her sneakers practically screeched across the marble floor, slowing down only for the metal detector and security pat-down.

“Y/n Y/l/n,” Y/n recited her name to the liaison holding a guest list, “I’m with AFC Richmond.”

“Ah,” the young man located her, “Welcome to Ethiad Stadium, Miss-“

Y/n was off before he could finish, bolting up the staircase that would lead her to the VIP box.

She pushed past guests dressed far nicer than her and slid through gaps half her size. Somewhere along the way, Arlo White and Chris Park’s voices became clearer. They were being played through the stadium’s sound system.

“Tartt tried to soldier on, but now he’s in some distress and may require attention.”

Y/n’s steps slowed, pausing in the busy hall to listen properly.

“The med team is helping him off the field. It looks like Richmond may be in trouble.”

Never in her life had Y/n run faster.

Arriving at the VIP box, she rushed up to the security guard.

“Ticket please.”

“I don’t have one,” Y/n panted, “I’m with AFC Richmond.”

“Sorry, love,” the burly man shook his head, “Can’t let you in without a ticket.”

“No, no, no, I’m PR,” Y/n insisted, “I need to get in there now.”

The security guard was unmovable, taking a firm stance in the doorway to block her. “I can’t allow you in without a ticket, ma’am.”

With Jamie injured, there was a new recklessness to Y/n’s urgency. She didn’t quite care what she had to do to get in. She jumped in place to see over the guard’s shoulder, spotting the top of Rebecca’s coiffed hair and Keeley’s curls.

“There! There’s my bosses!” Y/n exclaimed, surging forward through the tiny space between the man and the door.

He pulled her back and away from getting any further, “You can’t enter without a ticket. If you don’t leave now-“

“Rebecca!” Y/n shouted, “Keeley! Keeley! Rebecca!”

She was loud enough that both women, plus Higgins, turned around in their seats. The sight of Y/n struggling against the security guard must have frightened them more than she’d intended.

Rebecca rushed through the room, “Let her go! Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“You know this woman?” The guard asked, still holding Y/n back as if she were some crazed fan.

“She works with me,” Keeley scolded, having followed Rebecca, “Get your fucking hands off her.”

The guard released Y/n quickly, eager to avoid any more reprimanding. “I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he addressed her, “Go on in.”

Y/n launched herself into Rebecca’s waiting arms, exhausted but charging off once more with the women.

“We thought you weren’t coming,” Keeley said as they rushed back to their seats.

Ignoring any and all things around her, Y/n ran down the steps of the box and threw herself against the railing. Jamie. Where was Jamie?

Down by the side of the pitch, he was laid out with the physios working on his ankle. Whatever move he’d pulled had cost him something terrible.

“What happened?” Y/n asked, unaware of who she was asking.

“He stopped a goal and landed wrong,” Keeley explained, slipping into the seat beside Y/n’s, “They just brought him off.”

Y/n clutched the railing with a vice-like grip, her eyes never leaving Jamie. She could see he was breathing hard, that his body clenched with every touch the physios made. He’d never been injured on the pitch this bad.

The game, however, couldn’t stop for one player. Ted made the call to play with ten men for the time being while Jamie rested. The Greyhounds held their own, Van Damme in particular blocking nearly every goal. But all Man City needed was one goal to tie things up and take the league title.

“Come on, Jamie,” Y/n mumbled as if she could will him to rally, “Come on.”

When the medics had done everything they could, Ted kneeled down next to Jamie. They appeared to be in deep conversation, Y/n would have killed to be on the other side, encouraging Jamie back onto the pitch. Whatever Ted was saying had to help. The team didn’t stand a chance if it didn’t.

“Get up, get up, get up,” she whispered, “Jamie, please get up.”

In perfect timing, Jamie extended a hand to Ted, who helped get him to his feet. Y/n held her breath as he bore weight on his ankle and exhaled when he didn’t buckle.

“Yes,” she clapped.

Ted went back to Beard and Roy, and Jamie took his time getting back on the pitch. The Man City fans livened up and began booing their former striker.

With her emotions driving her, Y/n turned to the sections around hers. “Oh, fuck off!”

Jamie shared her sentiment, taking the hate as well as the praise. He egged them on further and encouraged the taunts, jutting his tongue out and beating on his chest.

“Come on, Jamie,” Y/n cheered. There was no way for him to see or hear her, but she stayed up and screaming as if she were right beside him.

Jamie made it back to the pitch and the match resumed. Van Damme blocked another goal with spectacular skill and got the ball over to Isaac. Isaac kicked it across the field to Jamie, who controlled it masterfully.

Y/n’s breath hung in her chest as he moved across the field. Before her eyes, he came back to his truest self. This was him at his very best. This was Jamie playing for no one but himself and it was beautiful.

Jamie avoided every single City player that tried to steal the ball away. Making it to the net, he sent the ball flying and the whole stadium froze.

It soared past the goalie, a perfect shot.

The Greyhounds pounced on their teammate, hugging and slapping him on the back. The entire crowd went wild, the Richmond fans lost their minds.

“YES!!” Y/n threw her hands in the air, “JAMIE!!”

Keeley, Rebecca and Higgins jumped to their feet, cheering and screaming. Y/n and Keeley reached for one another and squealed.

Jamie chose the honorable route and didn’t make a big deal over the goal against his former club. When the boys let go of him, the ref blew his whistle and held up the sub board. Roberts was coming on, Jamie was coming off.

It was the most extraordinary way to leave a match, and Jamie was in a bit of pain. He wasn’t going to argue with the decision. But he hadn’t expected the Man City half of the stadium to change their tune. When their boos morphed to cheers, his eyes glistened with lifelong tears.

It had been a long road to get to a point where Jamie could play for himself. He’d spent all his years working to prove his father wrong, using his hatred as motivation to grow his skills. When he’d exhausted that option, he found himself a man without a country. He wasn’t sure what to do.

Then Y/n had shattered his heart.

He’d woken up with very little motivation to play. Their goodbye had added edge to all his fears. Mixed with the possibility of seeing his father, it was a miracle Jamie could move. But he was a fighter till the end, and even if he was a wreck, he would still give 110%. That was his gift.

As he looked up into the stands, despite everything, he wished Y/n was there to celebrate with him.

Little did he know, Y/n was crying tears of pride on the second level. She watched Jamie walk off the field feeling her heart completely tied to his. He’d proved everyone, even himself, wrong.

The game ended soon after that, with Richmond coming out on top. They had earned their spot in the last game of the season and a chance at the Premier League title. Y/n, Rebecca, Keeley and Higgins fell into an group hug.

“Hey, hey,” Y/n pulled out of Keeley’s arms and locked eyes, “You’re my best friend.”

Keeley’s gaze grew teary. She didn’t know what had changed in Y/n since the night before, but she welcomed it and hugged her tighter.

“And you,” Y/n reached over to Rebecca, “You’re just so fucking amazing.”

Rebecca laughed and wrapped an arm around Y/n, lovingly kissing her hair. Her friend was back from wherever she’d disappeared to.

“Oh,” Y/n grabbed hold of Higgins and grinned, “I love working with you so much.”

Higgins embraced her and shouted over the crowd. “Good to have you back.”

As much as she adored them, Y/n’s eyes fell downwards to the pitch. Jamie was celebrating amidst the boys, but they were about to leave.

Keeley followed her gaze, “Go. They’ll take him to the med room.”

Y/n’s face dropped, realizing that she had made a huge faux pas towards Keeley she hadn’t even considered.

Keeley could read the worry before it crossed Y/n’s lips. “Oi, fuck off,” she laughed, “Go get him.”

She didn’t need to hear anything else. Y/n took off running.

She sprinted through the stadium, weaving in and out of the crowd until she hit the authorized personnel area guarded by security.

“I’m with AFC Richmond,” Y/n breathed, exhausted by the effort expended. She reached into her wallet, “I have proof.”

She held up the employee ID and let the guard examine it.

“Go ahead,” the taller one slid to the side.

Y/n rushed through the glass doors. This was one of the only stadiums she hadn’t been to and she didn’t know her way. She peeked through every door until she found the physio room. Neither the medics nor Jamie were back yet.

Jamie hobbled down the hall, assisted by the physios that had aided him on the field. The adrenaline of the game was starting to wear off and he was looking forward to getting off his foot.

They opened the door to the back room to reveal the last person he expected to see.

Y/n spun around and their eyes met, fear suddenly taking hold of her. In her mad dash to the stadium, overcome with emotion, she hadn’t taken into consideration that Jamie may not have wanted to see her.

“Ma’am,” one of the medics spoke up, “You can’t be back here.”

Jamie was dazed, from the thrill of the match and Y/n’s presence. He took clumsy steps toward her, stuck in the magnetic pull they had on one another.

Y/n cautiously moved forward, terrified of what could come next. Jamie had every right to throw her out and never speak to her again. She almost wanted him to, to make her regret ever turning him away. Deserving seemed like too plain a word. She had earned his indifference.

But in the way Jamie’s eyes traced her face, warm and familiar, shocked and relieved, she knew that wasn’t the case.

They fell into each other’s arms without a single word.

“I’m sorry,” Y/n whispered through her tears, “I’m so sorry.”

Jamie buried his face in her neck, unable to do any more than absorb her. She was here. She was here.

Y/n, however, had so much to say. She urgently guided his head up to face her, tears welling in both their eyes. In that moment, telling the truth never seemed simpler.

“I love you.”

Jamie’s mouth curled upwards, searching her face in shock.

“I love you so much,” Y/n confessed, holding his cheeks, “I’m so sorry for what I said.”

She was cut off by Jamie, pressing his lips fervently into hers.

Neither of them could clearly remember the kisses they’d shared during their one night together. They certainly couldn’t count them. But this, this held all the glory and promise of a first kiss. Months of tension and longing they didn’t know they’d felt were poured out, replaced by sweet relief.

With his brain hazy and high, Jamie backed them up towards the physio table. The first step he took on his ankle made him wince, but he didn’t break from their kiss.

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” Y/n pulled away, smiling breathlessly, “Ankle.”

“Don’t care,” he mumbled as he chased after her lips.

Y/n giggled, letting him steal a few more sloppy kisses. She wasn’t in a place to deny him anything.

When Jamie did eventually pull back, he nudged his nose against Y/n’s, breathing her in. “You only back here ‘cause I won it for us?”

“You caught me,” Y/n ran a hand through the back of his hair, “I’d have slipped right back out if you hadn’t.”

Jamie grinned and stroked a hand over her head. Now that he had her as close as he’d craved, he wanted to touch as much as he could. He looked down between them and spotted the familiar blue and red.

“I swear, magic shit happens when you wear this thing,” Jamie rubbed the fabric between his fingers.

Y/n rested her forehead on Jamie’s shoulder, shaking with laughter.

“I’m a fucking genius for buying it,” he beamed, pressing a kiss to Y/n’s hair. “I love you so much.”

Knuckles rapped against the door and someone cleared their throat. At some point, the medics had left and returned.

“Mr. Tartt,” one said, “We do need to check your ankle.”

Y/n removed herself from being pinned between the table and Jamie. Jamie dropped his hands to hold hers, unwilling to lose full contact as he took a seat. The physios had a difficult time working with Jamie’s constant movement, trying to pull Y/n in for kiss after kiss.

All things considered, Jamie got off lucky. A brace was wrapped around his ankle and he was advised to use crutches for the next few days. Jamie heard most of their instructions…well, some. He’d more distractedly spare the medics a glance before looking back to Y/n, who memorized all their warnings.

When they left once more, giving Jamie a minute to rest, he tugged Y/n between his legs and wrapped his arms around her waist. Y/n tucked herself into his chest, holding his head as it dug into the side of hers.

There was so much to say, so much to explain, but neither one could think straight enough for any of it. All they wanted to do was hold each other, reveling in the sweet relief of longing being exchanged for love.

—————————

Back at the hotel, Y/n packed both hers and Jamie’s room while he rested on the Coach. She’d handed his suitcase off to Will before heading to her own car, regretting her decision not to join the team bus considering how the trip was ending.

Jamie got Y/n on the phone the second they pulled out of the hotel. She’d insisted he ride back with the boys, but he was more insistent on not being apart for a second. They spent very little time talking as the phone got passed around, each of the Greyhounds wanting to speak to Y/n after so many weeks with no contact.

Keeley and Rebecca coveted the mobile the longest, badgering her for as many details as Y/n would give them on how her and Jamie had come to be. Y/n revealed precious little information, both because she was still retracing the sequence of events herself and because she didn’t feel like telling the entire team just yet.

Along the way, Kenneth the bus driver and Y/n were weaving between lanes together, switching spots in front on one another. The boys could be heard shouting for Kenneth to drive faster so they could beat her. Y/n smiled and laughed the whole way back to Richmond, lighter than she’d been in years.

They pulled into Nelson Road Stadium late, but full of energy. The Greyhounds poured out of the bus toting champagne bottles, singing and chanting as loud as they could. Man City was their great white whale, and they’d beaten them so spectacularly, they deserved a fucking celebration.

Y/n moved around the physio room while Jamie was in the locker room, setting up a bucket of ice water for his ankle, per the medic’s instructions. She headed down the hall to retrieve him after, running into the boys changed into their dress clothes.

“Looking good,” she complimented.

The stragglers cheered and hung back to hug Y/n, Isaac picking her up and spinning her around. Richard pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Hey,” Colin grew serious and pointed a finger towards her, “You owe us an explanation for where you’ve been.”

“Yeah, not cool,” Isaac agreed, setting her back down.

“I know, I know,” Y/n chuckled, “You’ll get one. But tonight,” she gestured to the door, “Go make a big fat mess of headlines for me to clean up.”

They cheered rowdily before heading out the door, leaving Y/n beaming. She was home.

She slipped into the locker room, Jamie was seated in his assigned spot, fidgeting. She knocked softly on the door.

“Come on, superstar,” she held out a hand.

Jamie smiled coyly, “Where you takin’ me?”

“I’m making sure Richmond has a fighting chance next weekend,” Y/n replies, helping him to his feet, “Can’t afford to lose you before you beat the shit out of West Ham.”

Jamie wrapped an arm around Y/n’s shoulders, much preferring to use her as his brace than the crutches. They took their time getting down the hall and into the physio room.

Y/n went about getting Jamie situated while he typed something into his phone. Once his foot was submerged in the ice, she stood to her full height and asked, “Whatcha doing?”

“Texting me dad,” he answered plainly.

Y/n blinked, “I’m sorry, what?”

Jamie clicked his phone shut and set it aside. They had a lot to catch up on. “When I was down, Coach came and talked to me. Told me that I should forgive me dad,” he quickly held up a hand to Y/n’s worried expression, “Not for him. For me. I’ve been in my head all week ‘cause I felt like I couldn’t be me without hatin’ him. Y’know? But between Coach and mum…I don’t know…I found it again. That thing that made me wanna play in the first place. Not for him, not for anyone…just me.”

Y/n smiled proudly. Jamie’s dad was the permanent thorn in his side. Rather than live with the pain, he was learning to grow around it.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head. It was also deeply ironic that Y/n had made a similar phone call to her parents hours ago. “Just something to tell you later.”

Jamie stroked a hand over her back, “How ‘bout you tell me what made you change your mind?”

Y/n slotted herself between Jamie’s thighs and wrapped her arms around his neck. The new intimacy stole any intention of ever having less than one hand on each other.

“Ted came by my room this morning,” she started, “We had a talk and I…I just realized that I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to stay scared of you.”

Jamie’s brows raised, “Scared of me?”

Y/n nodded and brushed a hand through his hair, “You and all those big feelings…they scare the shit out of me. But I got a taste of what life’s like without you,” she sighed, “And I can’t do it.”

Jamie’s fingers moved against Y/n’s back, he watched and listened intently.

“I raced through the fucking streets for you,” Y/n smiled, “I fought a security guard.”

Snorting at the mental image, Jamie slipped an arm under Y/n’s legs and lifted her onto his lap. She yelped and tightened her hold around him.

“We’re gonna break this table,” Y/n laughed, “And people are going to make assumptions.”

“Let ‘em,” Jamie smirked, eyes full of adoration, “Say it again.”

“I love you,” she whispered joyfully.

He wanted to hear it a million more times and he wanted to say it an equal amount. He captured her lips once more in a soft kiss, content to stay there as long as the world would let them.

The door to the med room squeaked open, “Oh, fuck.”

Jamie and Y/n broke apart, twisting to see Roy and Keeley stood in the doorway.

“You two were annoying before. You’re gonna be fucking unbearable now,” Roy complained.

“Oh, stop it,” Keeley lightly smacked his hand, “They’ve waited this long.”

“What’re you guys doing?” Jamie asked.

“We thought we’d come and keep you company,” Keeley answered.

Roy kicked the door shut and held up an unopened champagne bottle, “Fucking celebrate!”

Keeley squealed and ran over to hug Y/n and Jamie, the three of them embracing one another. “‘Cause that was fucking amazing, Jamie.”

“Yeah, I was fucking amazing,” Jamie agreed, “You’re right.”

Keeley cackled while Y/n dropped her head to Jamie’s shoulder. “Dear God, I don’t think I can handle this ego.”

“Gotten this far,” Roy grumbled, rolling his eyes at his protege.

“We might need to tag team it,” Y/n suggested, “What do you say, Royo?”

“No,” he pointed between Jamie and Y/n, “You signed up for this, he’s your fucking problem.”

Y/n looked down at Jamie, who was already grinning up at her. He’d been her problem for a long long time.

“I’ll make the best of it,” she said, pecking Jamie’s lips.

Roy popped the champagne and he and Keeley pulled up chairs. He offered his ex the bottle, “You start us off.”

“Mmm, don’t mind if I do,” she took a swig.

“Right,” Jamie turned to Roy, “What the fuck happened, man?”

The four of them laughed as the champagne was passed around.

“Did I look sexy?” Jamie asked, turning to Y/n and handing her the bottle, “Babe?”

“I take it all back,” Y/n joked and took a swig, “I’m not ready for this. We’re back to being friends.”

Jamie laughed and tugged her closer to him.

“Shame you weren’t injured in your fucking head, innit?” Roy grinned.

“Right,” Keeley spoke up, “You gonna tell us how this happened? Spare no details?”

Roy took the bottle from Y/n, “You can spare the details.”

Y/n scoffed, “Oh, there’ll be details spared.”

“She just doesn’t want people to know she stole my virtue,” Jamie cheekily smiled, “I get that right, babe?”

Keeley gasped, Roy grunted.

“I will fucking leave you here to freeze to death,” Y/n threatened, “If you ever tell people that’s what happened.”

The foursome stayed put for a good half hour, their raucous laughter bouncing off the walls. Y/n and Jamie explained an edited version of what happened in London to cause such tension at Georgie and Simon’s house. Keeley, surprisingly, didn’t seem to care that she was watching one of her best friends and her ex-boyfriend tell how they’d fallen in love. She was more thrilled than anyone. Roy was less than enthusiastic, but couldn’t hide his smile as he saw how happy Jamie seemed.

When it was time to leave, Roy helped Jamie in to Y/n’s car. He’d need someone to help him around the house for a day or two and there was no one else he wanted to take care of him. They made the twenty minute drive to Jamie’s house non-eventfully, Jamie pressing a kiss to Y/n’s hand at every red light they hit.

Y/n unloaded their bags first, dropping them in the hall, before coming back to help Jamie out of the car. They managed the driveway and the threshold just fine, and the second Y/n had locked the door behind them, Jamie was on her, crushing their lips and bodies together.

After so many months of falling without notice, neither realized just how much love they had for one another until they could express it fully. Like looking through some all-knowing kaleidoscope, everything leading up to that very moment made crystal clear sense. The jealousy, the adoration, the attachment…it had all been leading to this.

All of Jamie’s hard work, his effort to become his best self had mattered. This was the payoff.

Y/n’s long-standing walls crumbled with each touch, never to be rebuilt. Her fear melted at their feet.

They were free of their pasts, belonging only to their future.

————

Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sablecities @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @strawberryacethingz @mentalistfan @tortilla-maria1 @katdahlali @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @glitterquadricorn @jamieolivia27 @imvibin69 @katlizada @lil-tracys @fanaticalfantasist @heyitz-julia @cactajuice @peachyy-tea @notalxx @rockchickrebel @anxiety-prime-max @loveforaugust @jellycolors @actuallybarb @heletsmelovehim @lovinnscarletknight @imfalling-inlove @leslieiscrying @meg-ro @littlemisssunshine192 @beboldbebravethings @maydayfigment @spencerreidsbookclub @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @lemoonandlestars @im-a-weirdo-for-life @mindless-rock (tags cont. in comments ❤️)

#what a ride #the ending is so good.

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