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byoccto · 23 days

Note

Idk if this is a good prompt lol I’ve never sent one before. But I had a thought about all the brothers being out for the weekend (doing whatever it is they do) and how Lucifer would react to just being alone with Mc. Like would he be all up in their business cus he’s lonely or it’s too quiet? Feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t make sense, or you don’t vibe with it lol

Thanks for the prompt! I hope you enjoy it. I had fun with this one.

Lucifer x GN reader. Domestic fluff.

This is it. Today is the day. For the first time in decades, Lucifer is about to have the house to himself. Well... mostly.

Every single one of his brothers has been conscripted into giving presentations on RAD at various preparatory schools throughout the Devildom.

Lucifer used the excuse of needing to review next year’s school budget as a perfect excuse to not participate in the advertising tour. Once in a rare while there were benefits to running the academy in addition to attending it.

As they head out the door, Lucifer reminds them of the consequences of shirking their duties. He makes sure to keep his smile tight and let a little gleam slip into his eyes as he pointedly looks up at the chandelier in the entrance hall.

Once the last brother is out the door, he heads for his study knowing that, for once, it will be blessedly quiet.

After a few hours of uninterrupted work (so that’s what productivity feels like; he’d almost forgotten), his mind wanders to you.

What are you doing with your day off? Since your arrival, you’ve been almost constantly surrounded by his brothers. What do you even do when you’re alone?

When Lucifer realizes that he’s been looking over the same line item for a solid ten minutes, he decides there’s no harm in taking a short break and checking in on you (just to make sure you’re occupying your time productively, of course).

He hears you before he sees you. As soon as he opens the heavy doors of his study, he’s aware of the sounds of various thumps and thuds coming from the direction of your room. He immediately speeds up, rounding the corner to your room at a jog. What he sees through your open doorway stops him in his tracks.

There you are, standing in the middle of their room, your belongings strewn haphazardly about. Your hair stands on end and your face is pinched, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed as you observe the mess. Sheepishly, you explain that you’ve been practicing a summoning spell, but it... hasn’t been going well.

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looks down at you. Normally, walking in on one of his brothers in a situation like this would just bring a flood of exasperation, but that’s... not quite what he’s feeling now. There’s a strange warmth that seems to be climbing up from his stomach into his chest, and he’s not sure he wants to examine it too closely. “Well,” he says, unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves to push them up his arms. “Show me what you’ve been doing.”

Your work begins improving as Lucifer guides you through the proper way to cast the spell. Before too long, you’re able to guide an object in your general direction, which is a huge improvement from earlier. Unfortunately, you haven’t yet grasped how to slow them down.

Ducking to avoid a hairbrush that’s making a beeline for your head, your foot catches in a swath of bedding on the ground and you fall backwards, landing on your butt amid the piles of stuff. You look up at Lucifer with those big, surprised eyes, and he can’t help but laugh- a real, from the belly laugh. Soon, you’re laughing too.

It’s been years- hell, maybe centuries, Lucifer thinks, since he’s laughed like this with someone. When he’s with his brothers, he’s too busy worrying- for their grades, their safety, their futures- to be able to enjoy the moment. The irony that his brothers are centuries old and should (theoretically) be perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, while you are quite literally his responsibility is not lost on him.

Clearly, he has faith in you- perhaps more than in anyone else he knows- but he still wants to help. The two of you spend several hours practicing your spellwork until you’ve got a pretty good handle on it.

When you finally flop onto your bed, exhausted but pleased with your progress, your smile is bright and your cheeks are flushed with exertion. Lucifer can’t help but wonder what else could bring light to your eyes and colour to your cheeks.

Trying to clear his mind, Lucifer mentions that he needs to go into town for groceries. You say you’ll go with him, if he doesn’t mind (he doesn’t). You insist that making dinner is the least you can do to thank him for all his help this afternoon.

The market isn’t that far away, and Lucifer, at least, knows he needs some air. So you walk.

It’s more of a stroll, really. Being with you is so easy; neither of you ever runs out of things to say, though you do drift into comfortable silences from time to time, enjoying the scenery. If Lucifer’s eyes linger on you as you observe a bird or smell a flower, you don’t notice.

When you reach town you head straight to the market, picking up ingredients for dinner, but also talking Lucifer into purchasing a Pitch Black Shortcake for dessert. “Between Asmo and Beel, how often do we actually get to eat sweets?” you point out. Really, he can’t argue with that logic.

You stop Lucifer as he makes his way to the register. “We forgot milk.” He raises his eyebrow, pointing out that the recipe you’re making for dinner (a black tapir roast with devildom potatoes and, because he insisted on a vegetable, sauteed belladonna greens) doesn’t call for milk. “No,” you say, rolling your eyes as if it’s obvious. “Tomorrow is Sunday.”

It takes a second, but then it clicks. Lucifer drinks cafe au laits on Sundays. It’s the only day of the week he doesn’t start with a plain double espresso. He doesn’t understand how it happens, but suddenly there’s a lump in his throat, and all he can do is nod and follow you to the refrigerated section.

You immediately start on dinner when you get home. While you prepare the roast, Lucifer acts as your sous chef, chopping potatoes at the counter beside you. You work in comfortable silence, and if you watch Lucifer’s hands as they work more than you watch what you’re doing, he doesn’t notice.

When dinner is ready, Lucifer pours a glass of demonus for each of you, and the two of you settle in at the table. It’s almost eerie without the chaos of the brothers around you, and unlike on your walk or in the kitchen, the quiet in here seems to unnerve you both. You sit in the silence of the dining room, sipping your demonus and murmuring compliments to each other about the food until your eyes meet across the table. You both burst into laughter. Existing outside of damage control mode is strangely unnerving.

When you’ve stopped laughing, you start talking. You talk about films, music, books, and, of course, food. You learn that while Lucifer prefers nutritionally sound meals and classic flavours, he has always had a very difficult time saying no to one of Simeon’s BLTs, and admits to eating far too many of them when they lived together.

At the mention of his time living in the Celestial Realm, Lucifer senses a shift in your demeanor. He can tell you’re curious but are too polite to broach the subject. Something not unlike frustration but also bearing a close resemblance to melancholy writhes in his chest at the idea of having to answer questions about up there, but he knows that humans have a fascination bordering on obsession with the Celestial Realm. Internally, he bids farewell to what was a wonderful evening. “I know you have questions. Ask.”

“How... How is it living in such close proximity to Simeon again?”

For the second time today, Lucifer swears his heart actually stops. He’s given you permission to ask about heaven, and instead you’re concerned with... how he feels about his estranged brother?

He opens his mouth to express his incredulity at the exact moment that both of your DDDs chime. It’s the group chat. One of the brothers is letting you know that they’ve boarded the train back to the city.

“Let’s save that for another time,” Lucifer says, standing up and gathering your dishes. “If we’re quick, we might just have time for dessert before they get home.”

You smile up at him, collecting your empty glasses. “I’ll hold you to it.”

He hopes you do.

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byoccto · 23 days

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Walking up to Lucifer while he’s doing paperwork at his desk, kissing his forehead and whispering a soft, “I love you.” before walking away again to do whatever duties you have.

It’s so soft and random, Lucifer just sits there for a minute blushing, before shaking his head and going back to his paperwork.

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byoccto · 23 days

Note

I would like to request taking a bath together with Lucifer (SFW) please U^ｪ^U

Thanks, also I just wanted to say I love your writing!!!

Sonde’s Sunday Snippets II-III

You never understand why he does it.

Demons bathe at much higher temperatures, you know. They like to sit in baths that are over 1,200 degrees, like to play in lava as if it’s snow. Their bodies can withstand it and so they indulge in it, the most base instinct for every demon in the Devildom.The truth of the matter is simple: they are from the land of hellfire; heat is built into their bones. It’s merely another difference between demons and humans, another law written into the rules of their nature that no one can change.

And yet, Lucifer always insists on taking his bath with you, willingly sliding into water that must feel lukewarm at best with you in his arms.

"We can make it hotter," You murmur, reaching for the temperature handle despite the fact that you’ve already begun to sweat. "Maybe just a little—"

Lucifer covers your hand with his own, intertwining your fingers and pulling your arm back to your side. "Any hotter and you'll start to damage your skin," He mumbles, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Just enjoy it."

"But—"

Lucifer silences you with a peck on the lips.

You consider protesting a little longer, then. You toy with the notion of speaking up, of arguing more until he gives in, of trying to say that if he's being so accommodating, it's only fair that you are too. But Lucifer seems to know that the wheels are turning in your mind even as you say nothing. He gives you no chance to speak up, instead gripping your hips and pulling you close to him, away from the temperature handle and instead onto his lap where he can hold you in his arms and rest his head on your shoulder.

"Relax," The demon breathes huskily into your ear, his arms loosely wrapping around your waist. The water is holding more of your weight than he is in this position, but the demon doesn't seem to care, all but draping his body over yours as he fully relaxes.

A part of your heart warms at that, honored that he trusts you so fully to find such solace in your presence, but another part of you grimaces.

You know that baths are the one time where Lucifer gets to relax, the one part of the day where no one can disturb him. It's probably why he insists on bathing with you in the first place—but guilt surges through your heart when you peek down and see the dry feathers of his wings flinching away from the water, doubtlessly finding it too cold and unpleasant to achieve true comfort.

"I can hear you overthinking," Lucifer whispers, opening an eye to look at you. His head moves so that he's now resting his cheek on your shoulder, gazing at you almost innocently.

"It's just—the temperature must be so low for a demon, and you deserve to—"

"I deserve to be able to bathe with the one I love. That is much more important to me than the temperature of water, though you may think otherwise." Lucifer's words come out blunt, almost forceful in their delivery. But that only helps you see the candor in his tone. "You yourself make this experience better than any amount of hot water, my love."

Your cheeks grow warm at that, though you're unsure if it's from the steam that rises from the rippling water of the bath or from Lucifer's words.

"Close your eyes," He urges. "Relax with me. It will be better for the both of us that way."

Lucifer evidently doesn't bother waiting to see that you've followed his instructions, instead shutting his eyes on his own accord and tugging you tighter against him. You watch him for a moment, studying his expression to find even the barest flicker of discomfort, but you find nothing. Only a serene peacefulness that has smoothed the demon's forehead, calm and tranquil and relaxed.

It's only then that your worry begins to fade, your muscles losing tension as you sink your body closer against Lucifer's, easing into the unnatural coolness that radiates from his body, a stark contrast from the hot water around you. Soon, you're resting your own head next to Lucifer's, your mind slowly growing blank as your thoughts empty and you can think of nothing but the rushing water that cleanses your body, the protective grip Lucifer holds around your waist, the weight of his head as he leans on your shoulder, further burrowing into your touch.

You don't even notice when Lucifer quietly reaches behind you to pull the temperature handle lower, forever unaware of the gentle smile that graces his face when the water grows even cooler for him but so much more manageable for you. There’s only the gentle press of his lips to your neck one more time as you truly relax, comfortable as you are happy in the arms of the man you love.

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byoccto · 28 days

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“Man, i love Hazbin Hotel !!”

Hazbin Hotel:

i’m sorry

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byoccto · 29 days

Text

~Blood & BLISS~

Human!Alastor x wife!Reader

Themes: 1930 based! Human!Alastor x wife!Reader, domestic life! fluff, smut, devotion, slight manipulation, mention of children, pregnancy, blood, murder, secrets

chapter two

Synopsis: Marrying New Orleans famous radio host had been a shocker to everyone. You, a southern belle from an esteemed family, had somehow managed to catch the attention of the mysterious bachelor.

Your wedding was all in the papers and talk of the town, even though the ceremony was rather private.

You quickly settled in as the homemaker as Alastor brought home the dough and took care of you.

It was a dream come true.

But Alastor was strange, even to you and you were his wife, but you brushed it off as him just being a man. You had nothing to complain about. You lived in a nice big house, had the finest luxuries, and Alastor would dote on you. What wasn’t to love?

Well… all those things were nice, but you were starting to crave a family with your husband.

You knew of Alastor’s upbringing and had an inkling that children might not be an option…but Alastor wouldn’t deny you what you desired most would he? Of course not ma belle.

Alastor prided himself on how people often wondered about him. The renowned radio host, who the public rarely saw. He was a mystery to many. He frequented jazz lounges and often could be found drinking whiskey as he listened to the Mimzy gossip about the latest news.

He, himself was shocked when he met you, the prettiest thing in the city. He had to have you. He knew you were the one.

Like the gentleman he was, he sent you flowers and love letters to begin courting you. He never tired of how shy you were around him.

It wasn’t long before he asked your father for your hand and the two of you got hitched.

And what a wedding it was! he spared no expense to your disapproval.

Alastor was the epitome of what every husband inspired to be!

Doting, providing, and attentive.

But he had a secret he kept from his little wife…

Can he maintain control over his domestic affairs and his sinister ones?

Soft jazz played in the background as you busied around the kitchen preparing dinner. The sizzling of the oil carried the scent of fried chicken as you chopped collards and added them to another pan to fry.

You hummed along to whatever song was playing as you cooked.

You took the chicken out of the grease, poured some of it in a can for later and used the rest to make cornbread. You stirred the collards a bit, adding pepper and a little salt before turning the stove off. You glanced at the clock; 6pm, Alastor should be coming home soon.

After putting everything in pretty dishes and wrapping it in foil you sighed tiredly as you finally got off your feet, plopping down on a couch.

You almost wanted to go back into the kitchen and clean up, but thought to just wait after dinner to do so.

You perked as your radio made a noise, static as if the channel had changed, before the voice of your husband came through.

”Well folks that is all. I have for you tonight! I hope you enjoyed today’s broadcast and I will see you tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to be late for dinner nonono haha. Until next time!”

You smiled, feeling happy he wasn’t going to stay at the studio all night.

With that in mind, you quickly ran upstairs to freshen up, wanting to greet your husband without the smell of grease clinging to you.

“I’m home!” A voice called as the sound of the front door closing had you rushing downstairs.

Alastor was taking off his coat, when you greeted him “Oh let me take that” you smiled, grabbing his coat to put it away. He let out a relieved sigh as he removed his shoes and put them by the door. Once comfortable, his long arms were around your waist, pulling you into a kiss “And how was my beautiful wife today hmm?” He asked bringing a dainty hand to his lips. You giggled “Oh nothing worth mentioning. How was work today? I heard you signing off. I hate that I missed tonight’s broadcast” you mused, untying his bow tie. Alastor hummed “oh you know same ole same ole, through I will say I got a lot of fan mail today” he chuckled as you rolled your eyes. He took a whiff of the air and grinned “Hmm looks like I actually made it in time for dinner”

You both made your way to the kitchen and you immediately went to fix his plate, while he got glasses out of the cabinet and some red wine.

Alastor practically had drool coming out of his mouth as the smell of food wafted into his nose. You took a seat across from him and smiled. “My my my dear what a meal youve prepared tonight!” He commented as he took a bite out of the cornbread, moaning in delight.

It always filled your heart with happiness seeing Alastor eat your food. When you first got married, you didn’t have a clue on how to cook. It was rather embarrassing, but you had grown up with personal cooks.

But Alastor didn’t mind teaching you, and soon enough you were whipping up delicious meals that filled his stomach, rather than upset it.

Dinner was quiet as the two of you enjoyed each others company, Alastor making comments about the lastest gossip he had heard and you catching him on the neighborhood gossip. “Oh before I forget, Mimzy wants to know if you wanted to swing by the lounge this weekend. Something about I keep you to myself too much” Alastor laughed, swiping at his mouth. You laughed, that sounded like Mimzy. Always hoping to get a chance at you singing on stage so she could make a few extra bucks. “Well tell ‘er not this weekend, I have plans to host a few of the ladies for book club. Rosie is sure to have some gossip I’ve missed.”

Alastor quirked a brow “You sure dear? I fear Mimzy will chew me a new one if she don’t get to see ou” You mulled it over “Well book club usually don’t take that long and its during tea time so I guess I don’t mind gracing the lounge with my presence” you giggled, getting up and taking your empty dishes to the sink. Alastor followed you and quickly swatted your hands as you reached to turn the sink on.

“Now now my dear, you spent all evening cooking the least I can do is wash the dishes. The chef shouldn’t cook and clean” he nudged you away from the sink as you pouted.

It never ceased to amazed you that Alastor took on household chores. Most husbands had their wives cook and clean, but not your Alastor.

He didn’t like you to tire out from maintaining the home all day.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek in thanks and told him you’ll be upstairs getting ready for bed.

You had just finished rolling your hair when Alastor came up to your bedroom. You sighed as you sunk into the cool cotton sheets, finally relaxing for the day. You didn’t realized you had quickly fell asleep until feeling Alastor slide into bed beside you, arm pulling you to tuck you into his side and rest your head on his chest.

You happily cuddled into him, breathing in his scent as the sound of his heartbeat lulled you back to sleep.

A yawn passed your lips as began to fall asleep

”Goodnight”

”Sleep tight dear”

”Don’t let the bedbugs bite”

”haha see you in the morning light love” he whispered pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sighed, chest heaving in deep breaths.

Alastor smiled at your sleeping face; how lucky was he to have a sweet wife who worked so hard while he was gone. His eyes grew heavy as he listened to your soft snores.

What bliss. He wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOTE: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh why and how did my mind conjure this when I have other things to write eeeeeeehhhh!!!!!!!

Anyway….this is gonna be ANOTHER short story hehehe. Since I wrote it on a whim it might take some time for me to post the next part but I hope y’all enjoy it nevertheless!

Remember to comment on the pinned post as I have a hard time finding everyone to tag since y’all are scattered on different posts!

if i missed anyone my bad!!!!

@nightshadelm @th3-st4r-gur1 @amurtan @lunaramune @southern-bayou-beau @monstersealclubber @certifiedcrybabyyy @karolinda007-blog @theveiledlibrarian @simphornies @yourdoorisunlocked @nettaw @purplecatsandhearts @catherine1206 @jellibean2018 @thewinchestah @wonderlandangelsposts @alishii @readergirlstuff @whydohumansss @missgurlsstuff @yuzurixx @darkovergrownforestnymph @dasimp777 @markster666 @alastorsgirl48 @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @preciousbabypeter @alastwhore666 @strawberrypimp666 @stawberrypimpsimp @queenariesofnarnia @peachedtvs @peachedtv @tpks @siiv3r @hazelfoureyes @okay-babe @aconfusedworld @chewbrry @altruisticalastor @yunimimii @dievia3 @alastorsdear @alastorsdarlingdoe @t0byisher3 @dennsfz @twismare @nanami1chu @yoongibabs @menthatilove @smoky000

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byoccto · 1 month

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how to get the First Man™ out of bed

Soft!Adam x GN!Reader

Turns out the 'First Man' himself is actually super clingy. And he is a big baby when it comes to getting up in the mornings. Good luck convincing him to get his ass outta bed!

Word Count: 1.1k

WARNINGS: mentions of sex, implied sexual content, withholding sex, kissing (it's still SFW!)

A/N: Here is the Adam x Reader fluff, finally! I didn't mean for this to have so much sex-adjacent content but I think that's just too integral to Adam's character lmao. It's still SFW though so it's fineee. I didn't mean for the 'withholding sex' part to be manipulative, it's all fun n' games here, so apologies if it comes across as too serious. (It was originally 'one week', not 'one day' - I changed it just in case lol)

Dividers

Beneath the douchebag exterior of the First Man™, Adam’s really just a big ol’ softie. Just deep, deep, deep down. It took a long time to find that part of him, but as his partner, you’re one of the only people that even knows this side of him exists.

One thing you really hadn’t expected from the man is how clingy he can get—it probably has something to do with the abandonment issues, but you’ve never tried to broach that subject. It’s currently early in the morning, and Adam doesn’t seem to plan on letting go of you anytime soon. You’re cuddled up with him in bed, his mask and robes absent as he sleeps. His wings are wrapped around you like a protective blanket. And now you have to try and convince his stubborn ass to get the fuck up. You’ve already been awake for about fifteen minutes, hoping your boyfriend will wake up on his own, but of course, that’s not going to happen.

Getting Adam out of bed is always a struggle. Despite the promotion of Heaven as the ‘perfect place’ with ‘no bad days,’ there’s still a schedule to abide by, and angels still need sleep. And Adam really hates those damn schedules, and loves his beauty sleep. There are a multitude of ways to try and get him out of bed, and every morning is a guessing game to see which one will work.

1. Be sweet and try to gently encourage him to get out of bed.

“Adam, babe,” you murmur softly, opting for a gentle approach this time around. You pat his arms where they’re wrapped securely around your waist—you would try to get a look at his face, but he’s spooning you from behind and giving you absolutely zero wiggle room. “You gotta get up, we have shit to do.”

“Mm…fuck off,” Adam grumbles, only tightening his hold on you and nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck. Which was about what you expected.

2. Be a little assertive.

“Adam, c’mon,” you warn in an attempt to convince him to get the fuck up. “I’ve already given you an extra fifteen minutes.”

“Then gimme fifteen more,” he insists, his voice sounding almost whiny. His childishness would be adorable if you didn’t actually have shit to do today.

3. Be a little more assertive.

You sigh. It’s never easy with this asshole. “Adam.”

The angel in question makes a little ‘mmpf’ sound into your back.

“Get the fuck up.”

He doesn’t even respond this time—he just holds you tighter, his wings copying his arms and trapping you in his embrace.

4. Bribery.

Actually, fuck no. You refuse to bribe him again. He’s already gotten that out of you several times before, getting anything from sex to food to picking what movie you two watch that night (you’ve watched Die Hard three times this week alone)

No, this is a game you are not losing this time.

5. Threats.

“Okay, you’ve got three options,” you offer, your voice less stern than your last attempt but not as soft as your first. “One: you get up.”

Adam makes another noncommittal little grunt of acknowledgment.

“Two: you don’t get up, and Lute breaks into our apartment again to drag your ass out of bed.”

He lets out a sound that sounds kind of like a chuckle, but it’s muffled against the back of your neck, so it’s hard to tell. But he’s clearly not intimidated by the warning.

“Three: you don’t get up and we don’t fuck tonight.”

That gets him. He tenses up for a moment before scoffing in disbelief. “Yeah, right, like you could go a day without this dick.”

A smirk pulls at your lips. You’ve got him now. “Try me.”

Adam’s silent for nearly a full minute. He has a much higher libido than you, and he knows you’d be fine without sex for a day. Him, on the other hand? He’s got a high sex drive and is downright spoiled.

You’re worried he’s fallen back asleep, but eventually, he sighs. His wings unfurl and his grip around you loosens, though not letting go entirely. “Fineee,” he groans dramatically. “But only because I don’t wanna deprive you of my amazing dick.”

You chuckle and turn to face him, now that you have the ability to actually move. His hair’s all messy, as it usually is, and his golden eyes are just barely cracked open.

“Oh, how generous of you,” you joke, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He instinctively pushes his face into your palm ever so slightly.

“I know, I’m fucking great,” he agrees, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. He knows you were being sarcastic, but he’ll turn damn near anything into a compliment that strokes his ego.

You just roll your eyes at his response, albeit fondly. He’s a dumbass, but he’s your dumbass.

“Alright, you big baby, time to get up,” you tease, moving to sit up before his arms tighten around you once more, pulling you back down.

“Hey—” you start, but are immediately cut off by a pair of lips on yours. His lips move slowly and languidly along with yours, and you’re all too happy to reciprocate.

You sigh into the kiss, unable to stop yourself from smiling against Adam’s lips. There’s a big difference between your usual hungry, eager make-outs and the sweet, lazy kisses you get when he’s all soft and sleepy. Both are great, but you really savor these tender, gentle moments with him. In the mornings, he’s too tired to keep up that arrogant ‘too cool for all that mushy, affectionate shit’ persona. And while you love him all the time, sleepy Adam definitely holds a special place in your heart.

He’s smiling when he lets you pull away. The kiss wasn’t a particularly long one, but you could’ve let it go on forever. But you’d be one hell of a hypocrite if you stayed in bed just to kiss your boyfriend after making such a point to get his ass out of bed.

“Now are you ready to get up?” you ask softly, still basking in the warmth of his embrace and the memory of his lips on yours.

“Mm…” Adam hums in consideration. His smile quickly turns to a smirk as he tightens his hold on you yet again and wraps his wings around you. “No.”

“Oh, for the love of—”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Needless to say, you do not stay true to your word about the consequences of Adam not getting out of bed. And Lute does, in fact, break into your apartment half an hour later to be confronted with a sight she sees far too often for her liking.

Fuck him for being so damn stubborn. Literally.

Taglist - @3sire-777

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byoccto · 1 month

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the way i want to put him in a jar and shake it bc who knows maybe his butt will glow like a firefly

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byoccto · 1 month

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Me and the homies in math class knowing damn well we are going to repeat the grade:

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byoccto · 1 month

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*everyone in the human realm*

mc: *sniffs the air* whelp *claps hands* smells like it’s gonna rain soon, we should get going

*everyone but solomon visibly confused*

diavolo: fascinating *pulls out a notebook and small reading glasses* tell me more

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byoccto · 1 month

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MC is walking around in the RAD hallways when they notice a poster on the walls

Mc: what the fu-

~timeskip, Thursday 4:36 pm~

MC bursts into the room

Mc: AIGHT WHOM THE FUCK-

Diavolo, Barbatos, the brothers, Solomon, Simeon, Luke, Raphael, Thirteen, Mephistopheles, and a hoard of demons are surrounding a table. The entire room falls silent

Diavolo: SCATTER.

*chaos ensues*

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byoccto · 1 month

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our compatibility is... 0%!?

includes : the demon brothers (lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, and belphegor).

summary : you come across one of those 'compatibility' quizzes and decide to take it as a joke— only for the results to end up saying you two are NOT perfect for each other!? what!?

warnings : gn! reader, insecurities.

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Lucifer

Lucifer had always been very popular with his good looks, so you really weren't all that surprised to see the Devildom heartthrob on a magazine cover with the promise of a compatibility quiz inside. You decided to buy it just for laughs.

"Must you really?" He sighs, shaking his head at your childish antics. Lucifer, however, couldn't deny the little bit of excitement he felt knowing you'd score a perfect 100- except as you circled your answered and tallied up your score...

Lucifer scoffed, taking the magazine and putting on his reading glasses. Well this is just ridiculous! He shook his head, tossing the magazine to the side. "What do those idiots know anyways?" He glances at you, hoping you weren't too upset by the results, only for him to see you giggling. Were you happy with the results, or perhaps are you laughing at him?

Seeing his mood begin to sour at both of those thoughts, you rest your head on his shoulder and take hold of his hand. "We seem to have a habit of beating the odds, don't we?"

Oh? So that's what made you so happy? Knowing that you two some how managed to fall so deeply in love, despite being opposites, despite the odds being pitted against you two time and time again? Yes, he concludes internally, your love was extraordinary.

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Mammon

"Look, your super hot boyfriend is on the cover of this months magazine." He says, throwing down the magazine in front of you. You quirk a brow, forgetting earlier this month about his photoshoot, and flipped through the pages, smiling at the sight of him.

"You look very handsome," You coo, leaning up to give him a kiss before you flipped to that page. Mammon instantly grew hot in the face and tried to snatch the magazine back but it was too late, your interest was piqued.

"Ohoho? What's this? A dating quiz?" You wiggle brows, answering the questions in your head.

"Give it back, 's embarrassin'!" He whined, still trying to get it but it's too late, you've turned the page to get your answer and-

"Wha- we aren't compatible!?" You turn to face Mammon with a frown, giving him the magazine back.

"Wait what?!" Finally he snatches the magazine from you and reads the questions before frowning as he flips to the answer page and, "'m not even compatible with myself?" You both share a look before an eased laughter fill the room. "Who even came up with these questions 'n answers? My favorite thing is obviously-"

"Grim?"

"You!... But then grim, yeah."

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Leviathan

You had just been sent a link by an anonymous number, and seeing Levi's name in the link had you curious, so you opened it and was brought to a quiz on... how compatible are you and the third born, leviathan!

Peeking over at Levi who was still farming for materials on his phone, you decided to take the silly little quiz. You felt pretty confident in your answers, knowing him best. It wasn't until the 'YOU TWO ARE TOTALLY INCOMPATIBLE' screen came up that you gasped, catching Levi's attention.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, brows furrowed a little. You blink, before forcing a smile and nodding.

"Yeah, totally, everything is perfect!" You say, exiting out of the quiz and moving to cuddle up with him. "You know I love you, right?" He blushes, looking away and nodding.

"Y- Yeah, I do... I love you too..." His voice grows more and more quiet until you barely hear him- but you know what he says. You giggle, pressing a kiss to the side of his face.

"Good! 'Cause no matter what anyone says, we're a perfect match~" Levi tenses, before whipping his head around to look at you, tears in his eyes.

"Did... Did someone say we're not?" Deciding to not make him worry anymore, you shake your head, making plans to block the unknown number but not before telling them how terrible their quiz is.

"No, don't you worry~" Thankfully, he relaxes after that- and the quiz is taken down shortly after your complaint.

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Satan

"Oh, what are you doing?" Satan asked, peeking over your shoulder to look at your computer. He read the title of the quiz and to say the least, he pulled a seat up next to you. "A dating quiz, hm?"

"I like reading the scenarios that go with it. I always get you, of course." You say, rather proudly, as you click the last question. "See, I got-!? I got Mammon!?" You can almost hear the way Satan's jaw clenches.

"Well, it's all in good fun." He says, but his expression betrays his nonchalant words.

"This doesn't usually happen," You clarify, scrolling down, "watch you'll be in second place-... or last..." You mumble, seeing you didn't get a single answer right for the 'Satan' choice. "Not all quizzes are created equally, this one is obviously a bad quiz so- where are you going?"

The sinister aura he's carrying makes a chill run down your spine, and fear for whoever has to face his wrath. "I just remembered I have to pay Mammon a visit."

"It doesn't have anything to do with this quiz though, right?"

"..."

"Right?"

He clears his throat, a little blush forming on his cheeks, "I'll be going now."

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Asmodeus

"Look what came out today~" Asmo says as he jumps into bed beside you, giggling as he flips through the pages and admiring himself. "Don't I look good enough to eat?" He asks, showing you the pictures.

"Oh, you look amazing, Asmo!" You take the magazine and flip through a few more pages of him. He truly was gorgeous and such an amazing model.

"And~" Asmo says in a sing-songy way, flipping the page to a specific number, "Look at this, a dating quiz." Pink hearts surrounded the questions and several adorable pictures of Asmo decorated the page. "So, how compatible are we? 100 percent? 1000 percent? A million?"

"Uhmm..." Quickly answering the questions honestly, you frown. "Zero."

"Zero!?" He snatches it back from you, looking over the questions and answers. "H- How could you possibly get a zero? We're soulmates!" He whines, leaning into you.

"Well, it's just a silly magazine quiz, I wouldn't read too much into it." Asmo was clearly not satisfied with this though, as he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"Honey, what are you doing?" You ask, hesitant because you hadn't seen him this worked up since they claimed his hot pink leopard print outfit wasn't 'cozy chic'.

"Obviously calling the magazine and telling them they made an error with the compatibility quiz! We'll just have them change all the right answers to whatever yours were." As sweet as that is, you take the phone away from him and help him get it off of his mind with some kisses.

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Beelzebub

"Beel this is serious," You whine, "We aren't compatible!" Beelzebub furrows his brows. You're really that upset about the dating quiz? He sets his food down and turns to look at you, smiling weakly.

"But we are compatible."

"Well not according to that quiz!" Beel frowns. If he could, he's get rid of the quiz all together and tell you a million times over that you two are the most compatible people to ever exist, but he can't do the first part so...

"But we are." He says, "We don't need a quiz to tell us what we are or aren't." He takes a bite of his food, before continuing, "I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone else, ever."

Your quietness didn't go unnoticed by Beelzebub, who worries maybe he said the wrong thing. He offers you a fry as a peace treaty, and you take it, although you don't eat it right away.

"Beel?"

"Yeah?"

"You're right. I also... can't imagine being with anybody else either, so..." you take a bite of the fry, "let's just forget about that dumb, dumb quiz." He chuckles, agreeing easily.

꒰ ✿ ꒱ ─── Belphegor

"Maybe we aren't compatible 'cause you're annoying, that's why, now leave me alone." He whines, swatting his hand at you to try and shoo you away. You huff, not giving in as you ask him how he'd answer one of the quiz questions. When he gave the same answer as you you were resolute in your conclusion that this quiz was simple wrong. Belphie didn't really seem to care though.

"You're so rude." You say, "If it were the other way around you'd be all clingy and whining and saying how we're so compatible."

"Well I wouldn't fail the compatible quiz." He states matter-of-factly, turning around to face you. "Anyways," he rips the magazine from you and crumples the paper up, "not like these dumbasses know me any better than you do." He throws the paper over his shoulder and looks up at you. "So will you quit whining already?"

"So you think we're compatible?"

"If I say yes will you go to sleep already."

"Belphie!"

"Ugh! Yes, I think we're more compatible than anybody else in all three realms, and I really mean it, okay? So now just, c'mere, and go to sleep!" He lifts his arm and you snuggle in close to him, your happiness radiating off of you. "Stop smiling it's creeping me out."

"You looove me~"

"Yeah, yeah..."

(Seems your smiling was infectious, as Belphie fell asleep with a very content smile on his lips)

꒰ ❀ ꒱ thank you for reading. have a wonderful day, darling!

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byoccto · 1 month

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Mammon is the type of boyfriend who throws rocks at your window and hits you on accident when you come out to see who's keeping you awake at 4 a.m.

Then he blames you.

.

Masterlist

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byoccto · 1 month

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Mephistopheles: “I’ve been hearing rumours that Mammon has been helping MC by doing their math homework!”

Lucifer: Looks up from the paper he’s writing on. “Don’t be ridiculous, have you seen Mammon’s grades in math?”

Mephistopheles: “And they say Satan has been helping MC by doing their Potions homework!”

Lucifer: Not looking up. “Nonsense, I forbade him from doing so.”

Mephistopheles: “What about the rumours that Beel has bribed the coaches in physical education to give MC perfect marks?!”

Lucifer: Finishes the last sentence and sighs. “If you’d investigate properly you’d find out that Lord Diavolo wrote a letter to excuse MC from physical education as they are weaker than demons and he didn’t want them getting hurt.”

Lucifer: Stands up and calls through the open door to MC who has been waiting in the hallway. He passes the papers he has written to them. “Here MC, if you go now you can catch your history professor and hand in your paper on the history of the Devildom.”

Mephistopheles: “Did you just do what I think you did?!?”

Lucifer: “I have no idea what you are talking about.” Picks up paper on RAD business and ignores Mephistopheles sputtering.

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byoccto · 1 month

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Lucifer will pick up his feathers that have fallen out & present them to you as a little present because humans are simple & he knows they love things like that.

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byoccto · 1 month

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beel would stand over mc at like 4am in the mom i threw up pose, only to tell them he accidentally ate the snack they'd put away in the fridge. bros a full sleep paralysis demon.

"beel are you crying?"

"i'm really sorry mc i didn't see your name on the container and i ate it." there are actual tears because he feels bad, he pinky promised not to eat it and he did. "please don't be mad."

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byoccto · 1 month

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Belphie at Diavolo's parties: this place is so fancy, I don't know which fork to kill myself with

Asmo: the fork on your right.

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byoccto · 1 month

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Mammons most recently googled questions:

- do humans like to be pet?

- How much grimm does a human make throughout their life cycle?

- how to cut out human meat from my diet.

- is it okay for a human to ingest a small amount of human meat?

- how to not leave finger prints???

- top Ways to get rich quick

- gold bag

- demon scale gold bag

- viciousace golden dragon skin bag ( 42,000 raven)

- human intelligence quiz

- what to do when your human has now developed a taste for human flesh.

- what does outer space taste like

- what to do if your human has started trying to size you up to eat you?

- what is bone apple teeth???

- sharkcoochi board???

- sharkcochi baord??

- how to spell shark coochi bord??

- charcuterie board.

- shark shaped charcuterie board.

- how to tell if your human has rabbies

- what does a rabbies bite look liek???

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