hide your secrets, disguise your weakness and lose yourself inside your busy head burn your bridges and leave no witnesses all alone inside your busy head
tw; this blog explores themes of death, parental loss, parental abuse, anxiety, depression, generational trauma, and is based in the originals/tvd universe.
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Her shoulders grew heavy, as her frame slouched at the confession, it was everything she didn't want to hear. That Laine was capable of such violence, all for a group that just used her as a pawn. Too many left alive, it ran through her mind causing her breathing to quicken. The banshee just stood there, in silence, because no that wasn't what she wanted. She'd been dead once and that was something she didn't want to repeat. There was no guarantee that she would come back this time. All she could do was shake her head no.
Taking a deep breath, she slowly placed Laine's hands back to her sides before taking a step back. Tears welled in her eyes, but they didn't dare spill, not yet. "That organization that you don't think you are trapped in, they want me dead and I guess I was really silly to think that saying i'm something you've been taught to hate and that would make you see that they are full of shit, but this isn't some fairytale...." She trailed off her eyes shutting as the tears fell down her cheeks. "I didn't choose to be a banshee, to see my mothers death for months before it happened every time I closed my eyes. I was so little and I desperately tried to keep her alive, but I couldn't make her stay that night. No matter how hard I pleaded, she said it would be okay...that she would just be back."
Wiping her face, Theo took a deep sorrowful breathe. "I want to stand by you, but you don't want to stand by me. All because I am a banshee and maybe it's best you kill me...I mean what use am I? I should've died that night at the gala."
The way Theo described it, it sounded easy. It wasn't as though Laine couldn't see how she'd been broken and crafted anew from a young age, but she saw the value in it. "Theo, what I have to give is to that organization," she argued, unable to fully differentiate between what was her and what was OEA. "If it had been me in charge, the gala would have been worse. All those supernatural beings in one room, too many left alive." The only person up until now that could make her feel was Dex, and now standing here looking at Theo, she felt. She felt so much it was painful. "I will choose the mission over you, is that what you want your life to be?"
Her hand in the other's, she didn't pull away, not even when Theo placed a soft kiss to her fingers. She ached, something deep inside ached in a way she knew would linger when Theo inevitably walked away. "I'm not trapped," she admitted, though quieter than she'd have liked. "I will lead this one day, the control will be mine. I don't take pleasure in the creatures who maybe haven't killed being caught up in this, but I have everything it takes to change the hierarchy of the world. You're right, it shouldn't be a game, but it should be a goal. Do you really want to stand by me when the power is mine?"
#theodora berman; interactions#theodora & laine#lawfvlhunter#tw death#tw murder#/so i uhh may have went too far#/my bad
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It’s just not fair what happens to women. The minute we get a little bit of fame, or show the slightest amount of ambition, we get slapped with the nastiest comments. We get these targets on our backs. Well, I say to hell with all of that. You go out there and you own this.
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"Oh gosh I would hate to talk to her now, I am a mess and haven't slept...I really need to take a shower." The banshee let out a nervous giggle, as all the things she needed to do piled up in her brain. Laine made her beyond nervous, but also the most giddy she'd ever felt. It was beyond confusing, but thanks to Blossom and Nova, it was much easier to process.
Theodora's face contorted, shaking her head before looking Nova in the eyes. "You are very bright and whoever has told you otherwise, isn't paying attention. Nova, I hate talking to people...because every time I ever have their eyes just gloss over, but it's never been that way with you. You are such both bright in your mind and your heart." Her finger pointed to the others forehead before then placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't ever forget that okay?"
Nova had a wide and goofy grin on her face. "Hey don't say that, you aren't doomed. It's more because the current environment." Nova said gesturing to New Orleans. There was a bright smile. "If anything goes wrong then I will be on your side." Nova said.
Nova returned the hug with a gentleness yet tightness, as if she never wanted to let good. "You are a good friend too, Theo." There was a smile. "If I could I would make Laine appear and you two would talk." Nova reassured.
There was an eyebrow quirk. "More things change more things stay he same." Nova said. "One of my professors wanted to recommend me for the surgeon fast track but I was a bit hesitant." Nova admitted. "Too many things are happening and I'm not exactly what one calls bright." Nova sighed.
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TJ had mentioned earlier the last name Lancastor and since then, she'd been on a mission. It was dire now, to figure out what the end goal was and how it was going to get there. Sofia followed Cassian, his name coming up in the database with a minor rap sheet. Mostly he mouthed off when officers questioned him. something she always understood. Something she also hoped would come in her favor, because sarcasm and being snarky happened to be her speciality.
Rolling her eyes at his comment, she shrugged before raising her eyebrow. "I've actually been following you for a bit, and you seemed to only notice while getting a rather annoying phone call, so I wouldn't say it was that obnoxious." Smirking she placed her hands up, as if to say she meant no harm. "Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a few minutes?"
@exitiumstarters ✦ cassian lancastor
Life between pacifying the coven, searching for his sister and keeping the OEA in his sights, didn't seem to exist. Day after day, he practiced, he trained and he slept before he'd wake and repeat. Honestly, that cycle was beginning to wear a little thin.
'I already told you -- when I find her, i'll bring her back. How many times do I have to repeat that before you hear me?'
His conversation was cut short however, disgruntled to sense the presence of another as they approached "here's a tip, try less obnoxious footsteps next time if you don't want to be heard."
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Sofia took in all the details TJ offered, making a mental note of each new name. "You're right she isn't new, she's part of a coven here. So she has other motives for being apart of the OEA. It's possibly to protect her own people, but I don't think her intentions are any better." Sitting down quickly, she opened up her laptop and began to search up the Lancastor family in the Database. It was so much easier doing this with others, all of the stress of doing this alone was getting to her. Making every time she walked into work, another awful experience, but now she felt proud to step in the department. Because if the others didn't see the supernaturals as important, well she would do her damned best to prove them wrong.
Looking up from her computer, she shrugged. "I don't think anyone is on the same page, but that is where we have an advantage. Because if all of them aren't really working together, then we have a better chance of putting the domino pieces into place." She wanted everyone with the motive to murder, to go down for what they had done. Riley was someone she cared for deeply, despite what the now hybrid may think. She was going to avenge all of them Cody, Riley, and Briggs. "You're still on good terms with Laine right?"
Whatever this team was, TJ was a part of it now, and his 'role' in the OEA would help with reconnaissance. "From what I can tell, she's in with the higher-ups, so she's pretty much bulletproof like the rest of them are." Other than that, TJ didn't have much to give right now regarding Everleigh. "Maybe she couldn't bother with the hassle of changing it? Or she's trying to hide something? In any case, I don't think she's new; I mean, you ask anyone at the OEA, and they kinda seem like they know her." Snapping his fingers, "We should keep an eye on, uh…the Lancastors? They seem to hang around Eve a bunch." That name plucked out of his head with ease, as if it were important.
"I don't even think they're all on the same page; I mean, I know for a fact." A fact which was just TJ's intuition. "Alexander didn't have a clue what was going on that night of the gala, and he was supposed to be the guy in charge… I'm pretty sure he vanished off the map since that Eve chick showed up, so we should probably keep surveillance on her." It was a reach, a guess; TJ didn't have any proof, but surveillance from the police force on Eve at least allowed TJ to not blow so much of his cover, seeing as he was working this from multiple angles.
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Sofia giggled softly to herself watching as he got up so quickly from the ground. He'd do this often, the whole cool guy persona once she stepped into the room. Co-workers insisted she be the only one to handle him when he arrived, because he was unruly to the rest of the station. Despite them not being wrong, she wanted nothing more for them to stay out of her business. With a raised eyebrow, she simply smirked at his comment, knowing full well another flirtatious quip would leave his lips soon after. As he stood only inches from her frame, she tilted her head at his offer, her breath hitched in her throat for a moment.
"We have been playing this game for quite some time..." The she wolfs eyes studied his facial features, trying to gauge if he was actually serious about this offer. "How about this, I get off work in about, five more minutes left in my shift. Do you think you can handle being surrounded by cops and not starting trouble for that long?" Sofia stood straighter, letting her face get a little closer to his, before stepping back and walking towards her office.
This wasn't her normal way of approaching people, for the past few years of her life she shut any type of feeling deep down, to only let it be released during the full moon. But, she had grown tired of being lonely and even worse the girl who just waited for things to happen. So she'd take a chance with Zeke, knowing that it was probably doomed before it began anyway. He was part of the largest criminal organization, something she had been looking into since being placed on missing persons. Stopping in the doorframe, she turned to face him once more. "Well come on, don't you want to see more of this place anyways?"
Ezekiel and Sofia had been caught up in an elaborate game of cat and mouse from the second he’d stepped foot in New Orleans. The organisation that he worked for were highly skilled and most of the time, him ending up incarcerated was a distraction for their plan to be undertaken seamlessly. Then, Zeke would inevitably make bail and the charges would disappear, before the process should repeat itself.
Each time he found himself in the precinct, he would fall into Sofia’s very capable hands and the pair had struck up an unlikely friendship? if it could be referred to as that. Perhaps, situationship was more appropriate. Whatever it was, whilst he was eager to peruse, Ezekiel was realistic; he knew that he didn't have a hope in hell of going there. That didn’t stop him from trying, however.
Although he kept to himself, Zeke was aware that Sofia would have read his file, but he had never been one for using circumstance as an excuse for his own actions. Every choice he made was his and his alone, even if he had been dragged into a world of crime – he’d sought out his own unlikely family amidst that. It hadn’t been lost on him though, that she tended to go easier on him than she did with other perps.
He’d just about managed to count the thousandth crack in the wall before Sofia stepped into the cell and his attentions were immediately to transfer towards her. As ever, he was fixated and he wasn’t shy in making that known. His brow soon lifted, practically receding into his hairline given the rate as he pushed himself up from the ground, pushing his curls back from his forehead and somewhat trying to act cool. “-- it works though, doesn’t it?” his gaze caressing each feature as a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips, “and you know what they said, don’t fix what ain’t broke.”
His lips twitched as she gestured for him to leave, stopping just beside her as he figured he might as well shoot his shot, “so – what would you say? you know, for the sake of my own curiosity” his shoulders rolled, already anticipating being shot down. “Wanna go on a date with me? Play your cards right and eventually, we could be sharing this cell.”
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She was just about to answer the question, but then he kissed her and every thought in her brain disappeared. When he pulled away she quickly stepped forward, bridging any gap that could be between them. With wide eyes Talia looked into his, terrified and excited of whatever might happen next. Placing her hands on his forearms, she sighed. "Finn, I need to confess something...I haven't done this in a really long time. My parents, they died when I was really young and then I was adopted into such a strict family, so I've never really been with anybody before."
The witch hated admitting all of this to him, but she knew if she didn't, then she would fill with worry. "I guess what i'm trying to say is, I don't know if I am good at any of this stuff, but I want to try." Her hands now cupped his face, flooded with adoration. "Oh it's sweet, by the way. I'm a sweet kind of girl." A warm smile overtook her features as her thumbs lightly traced his dimples.
"Perfect." There was a bright blush on his cheeks feeling a sense of happiness. He gently held her hand for a moment squeezing it with affection. There was a surprise how quickly he found hinself falling for her, more than being some type of alliance. He saw her as someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Finn wanted to have that love making her giddy, no matter how little time they had.
"I agree 100% percent." Finn agreed letting himself smile and relax. "Are a sweet or salty type of girl?" He asked genunely curious. There was quirk of his eyebrow. "You know I'm always in." He said with a grin. Finn looked at her with a smile. "But you almost forgot something-" He said before briefly pecking her lips. "Now its complete."
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[ victoria pedretti| she/her ] Another face is seeking safety in New Orleans. Make sure to welcome THEODORA BERMAN to the home of the resilient. Rumor has it that they are an 27 year old BANSHEE, who is one of the SACRIFICED but we’ll keep that a secret. They are said to be PARANOID, but that’s all a façade to cover up their SELFLESS nature. We’ve heard that they can be found listening to A SKY FULL OF SONG by FLORENCE + THE MACHINE, which sums them up pretty well. Let’s hope that they can find a way to survive this harsh new world. mobile banner temp
CHARACTER PROFILE:
Full name: Theodora Berman Nickname(s): Theo, Dora Birthdate: july 21 1997 Sign: cancer Age: 27 Species: banshee Sexuality: queer Hometown: Chicago Current Residence: New Orleans Occupation: task rabbit, she does any odd job given. Mostly walking dogs and delivering orders for stores
FAMILY:
Parents: Molly Berman (deceased), Keith Berman (alive) Sibling(s): younger half brother
PERSONALITY:
MBTI: ESFP Positive Traits: selfless Negative Traits: paranoid
ABILITIES: (trigger warning from here for: death, paternal death, parental abuse, depression, anxiety.)
Premonitions: it first began as night terrors at young age. as she grew older they began to happen while she was awake. they differ each time in how vivid they can be, sometimes it feels like she is there and others it feels like she is watching someone film the scene. she hasn’t learned how to control this ability yet.
Astral Premonitions: this began to happen in her teens, it was terrifying the first few times but she ended up getting the hang of it. she cannot control when this happens but she tries her best.
Death Wail: each time this happened she was asleep. the first time it happened was after she saw her mother die for the first time. it continued to happen until the night of her mother’s actual death.
Clairaudience: the world sounds different to her, she can hear things on a frequency others can't. this sound helps with hearing both future and current details with death.
HISTORY:
Born July 21st, 1997 to Molly and Keith Berman in Chicago Illinois. As a child, she was quiet and often seen smiling hand in hand with her parents. The group lived a fairly idyllic life, her mother a school teacher and her father was a lawyer. They were able to live a comfortable life in the city, reading books and taking trips to museums. At the age of six, she began to experience night terrors and sleepwalking. Her parents would find her wandering the backyard or shrieking in her sleep for a few months until the accident.
What her parents didn't know was that she was seeing her mothers death. One night the family was coming back from a weekend trip and got into a car accident. Keith and Theodora would survive but her mother didn't make it. This event changed the course of Theo's life and molded her into the person she is now. Due to complications from the accident, she suffers from chronic back pain.
Keith Berman would later remarry and have a son, someone who became the apple of her father's eye. It was possible he saw her mother's likeness, or maybe it was because he always wanted a son, whatever it was, their relationship dwindled the moment she gained a brother. However, she never held that to his fault. At the age of fifteen, she decided to leave home.
She moved from city to city until ending up in New Orleans. It became a safe haven for her, a place where she could start over and figure out who the hell she was meant to be. With all the folklore in the city, she soon found out about Banshees. From there she understood what those night terrors meant. They would occur from time to time throughout her life. Sometimes they were about people she never knew and other times it was neighbors or acquaintances.
The city felt safe for only a little while, soons he began to have night terrors every time she was able to fall asleep. At first, she had no idea why but then after following some clues, she realized the witches had been sacrificing people through the city. One night, she got too close a witch found her and quickly decided she had seen to much.
Theo was sacrificed and sent to the prison world, a place where no one was able to to die. Because of this, she had been at ease. Her banshee powers did not affect her and even though it was gloomy and cold, for once Theo had felt some sanity. Yet, after seeing how so many ended up there, she joined the fight to get everyone out. Even if it meant that her ailments would return.
HEADCANNONS: She loves all living creatures and if she had more money she would have way more pets.
Her apartment is a studio, it’s very small but she loves it. It’s on the top of her building so she has a terrace with lots of plants and herbs.
She ran away at a young age so it’s always been easy to pack up and move. This was something she often did anyways due to having no money and feeling as if she never fit in.
Every person she has ever liked, has ended up hurt or she has seen them in an accident during one of her night terrors. Due to this, she is nervous to get close to people but she also loves being near others. This overwhelming experience leads to a lot of sensory overload.
She has two cats, who come and go as they please but have collars so it’s clear she owns them.
-under co-
CONNECTIONS:
Riley Shaw: she gave Theo a job when she was really desperate, so she will always be grateful. -under co-
Laine Moore: -under co-
Cody Matthew’s: -under co-
Briggs Mikaelson: -under co- -under co-
#theodora berman; bio#/finally transferring this over still working on it oops#buried a hatchet it’s coming up lavender; theodora berman
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And maybe I don't take care
Of all of the things that I love the most
I loved you the most
Think I've got a hole in my pocket
I keep on losing my things
Loose change inside of my wallet
Some friends and some family, yeah
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closed starter; @badvlantex
muses; sofia & tj
location; sofia's office
"Alright, so Cody should be back to join whatever this team is turning out to be. I'm not sure how I went from no help to this, but I will take it cause this has been hell to do on my own." Rubbing her temples, Sofia pulled out a few files and plopped them on the desk. "Someone new has joined forces with the OEA and I want to know why. This group is always at the center of each disappearance." Taking a seat she began to look through a file about Everleigh Vane. There wasn't much on file, other than the coven she was apart of and a detail that made her smirk.
"Looks like she kept her ex-husbands last name. Damn, that's pretty devious." Shrugging her shoulders, she looked up at TJ. He had been a huge help in her ability to put all these files properly together. Before, they weren't actually organized by anyones standards, other than her own. Since the police department didn't run the same way as her brain, it was dire to get everything straightened out. "Anything new on your end?"
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Stuffing her excitement down, she nodded. "Yeah, I actually was just making dinner. That fishermen who used to give dad the stink eye all the time, he had some left over so i'm making that with the rice mom used to make." The kitchen smelled exactly how it did when they were young, something she took a lot of pride in. Balling her fists at her sisters answer, she swallowed. "Come on inside, take a seat and I will get you set up."
Walking into the kitchen, Sidney grabbed a bowl and began to fix Riley a meal. Assuming this was the first one she would have with all the needed food groups. "Do you want water or ice tea to drink?" She asked, setting the food on the table before turning to grab some drinks and herself some food. "I'm sorry for asking you that out there, it's a loaded question. You went through so much and I don't even know the half of it. They are going to pay for what they did..." Her voice was quiet, despite how much conviction she felt as she said those last words.
"Do you need a place to stay for a little bit? Just so you can relax and not worry about anything...I promise I won't be overbearing. That guest room is always yours if you need it."
"oh, thank god because i'm starving. got anything on the stove?" she asked, leaning to the side as if she looked around her but using her nose to give her the answer instead. what her sister said next pulled her attention back, a half amused smirk played on her lips as she listened to the nervous ramble, a classic from sid which strangely brought her some comfort. "i died, and then woke up with the world on fire-- literally. everything i never thought i wanted in life got taken away, even the opportunity to choose not to want those things, that was made for me. I think i'm going to break up with my girlfriend and to top it off my best friend triggered his curse because of my death, now has to go through his first full moon... every full moon, in the worst imaginable way. i'm not doing so hot, sid, but i'm here." she figured a summary was the best she could do-- disassociating as the list went on. the hybrid could easily cry and curl up in a ball right now over everything but she wouldn't... not yet. maybe once she was alone again. shaking herself out of her disassociation, she took a deep breath, looking back to her eldest sister. "anyway, yeah i'd love some."
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"Then that is where we go!" Talia's cheeks became sore from all the smiling, those muscles hadn't been used as often as she'd like. Placing a kiss on Finns cheek, she lingered for a moment, allowing herself to take in the way it felt, to be this close. The two of them had been friends for some time, both of them with missions in their heads of something better, but now she really saw him. She wanted to be something more and after the gala, it became clear that she didn't have as much time as she'd like to act on it.
Pulling away, she took his hand in hers and began to walk the walk to her car. "The drive isn't too long, but I do think we should get some snacks. A roadtrip without snacks just doesn't feel right." Taking out her phone she began to shuffle through some playlists. "I also have the perfect playlist for this!" It was exciting, to let herself feel something good. "There is this swap nature center, it's beautiful."
Finn knew the feeling too well. When he loved he loved intensely. And when he loved too much someone or something takes that love away. It was dangling in his hands- he even self-sabataged with Hope. For love he was a dangerous man. But for Talia he wanted to try to be a hero. Not exactly like he was Sage, bur something different.
There was a slight beat of his own heart with a giddy grin. "I'm glad you like it." Finn whispered. "Would you believe me if I said I've never been in Baton Rouge." The heretic said with an eyebrow quirk. "It's not too far and I heard it's quieter." He quickly booped her nose. "I think it would be perfect for the both of us."
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Nova said so many things that made sense to Theodora, but there was this nagging feeling that loomed over her mind. Because she really did want to tell Laine about who she was. Yet, Laine also was taught that banshees should be wiped out. To the hunter, Theo feared that once Laine knew, she would then have to do what the OEA trained her to do, even if it wasn't what she wanted.
As her friend wiped her tears away, she sniffled wiping her nose with her sleeve before attempting to sit straighter. "Thanks Nova, for listening to all of my ramblings. They are kinda doomed right now, but it feels good to get it all out of my head so I can put it into place." Sighing, Theo wanted to believe it was true, that she would find someone else, but there was also that part of her that hoped she wouldn't need anyone else. "I will tell her, that I like her, the whole me being the thing she's been taught to hate....that might have to wait."
Hugging the other tightly, the banshee closed her eyes and smiled. "You're a really good friend Nova." Pulling away, Theo placed her hands softly on the witches shoulders, a genuine smile on her face. "So now that i'm done crying, how have you been since the gala?"
Nova nodded solemnly. "TJ is too." Nova paused. "He kinda says he is and he isn't. He like in proxy I believe?" Nova said scratching her head. "But I think the OEA recruits or tries to recruit aren't necessarily bad people. They're people who don't know better or see another option." Nova sighs. "I think OEA feeds on desperation and despair. I think the only way to fight it is hope." Nova paused. "But hope is hard to muster these days."
Nova gently reached for a hankerchief and wiped the tears from the banshee's place. She can feel the pain emitting from the banshee and wanted to tell her it's okay. But Nova knows its hard to leave the sad place of anxiety- especially when it comes to love ones. "I want you to know, your feelings are valid." Nova said.
"If she leaves you that doesn;t mean you won't find someone else." Nova said. "People are only here for a reason, season, or a lifetime. I think it's only a matter of time of finding someone worth a lifetime." Nova said sincerely believing that. She might not be a banshee but she knew grief as a constant companion. "I think the key to knowing is telling her what I am hearing right now." Nova said sincerely. "Even if.....her feelings aren't reciporacted. It's better than keeping it inside and stewing."Nova said.
Her eyes had a look of familiarity and a smile. "Laine is pretty cool." Nova said. "A bit intense but very cool." Maybe Nova should contect Laine one more time. There was a smile. "Thank you for telling me Theo." Nova said as she gently pulling her into a hug showing acceptance.
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closed starter; @fragmcntedsouls
muses; sofia and ezekiel
location; police department
Normally when arresting someone, they put on a type of charm that made her want to barf, but then she arrested Ezekiel. After the first arrest, he was always in out of the precinct and managed to make bail, each time. She had her suspicions, about the man, but they'd falter each time he was close. Cody was her buffer at some point, then after his death, there wasn't much she could do when relishing the way Zeke spoke to her.
When the two met, she knew he was a werewolf and after doing some research, Sofia realized that it wasn't all his fault, that he ended up sucked into a world of crime. She knew all too well, what it felt like to have parents who loved other things, deeper than their love for their child. It made you grow up different, that feeling of loneliness that blooms from being emotionally abandoned. So she decided to go easy on him, it didn't hurt to flirt and it wasn't like people did that with her often.
Walking to the jail cell, the she wolf leaned on the bars and smirked. "You know, if you wanted to ask me out a date there is a better way to go about it. For example, you don't have to get arrested and thrown into a dirty cell to speak to me." Taking out the keys, she unlocked the cell and motioned for him to go. "As usual, you made bail so you are free to go."
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Talia Reye's Camera Roll
@ofwindydays @fragmcntedsouls @lcthalwcapon @lawfvlhunter
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Thedora Berman's Camera Roll
@lawfvlhunter @dmpled @ofwindydays
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