nothing beats reading The Sunshine Court while in California and seeing a guy with a USC Trojans hat and shirt and remembering that it is, in fact, a real sports team

I'm sorry I'm so emotional about the sand dollar that Cat gave to Jean. Don't look at me I'm gonna cry she was so excited to gift it to him

After every interaction between Jean and Rhemann the only thing I could imagine was Rhemann pouring himself a drink and calling up Wymack like how tf do you deal with an entire team of this

The lack of TSC fanfics is killing me

Minor TSC Spoilers

Jean going to USC instead of being a Fox was honestly the best decision ever. USC being the antecedent of everything Edgar Allan was. The Trojans being the complete opposite of everything the Ravens are. Going from the Ravens dark, cruel, and violent environment to the happy, kind, and gentle nature of the Trojans. From the Dark Ravens Nest to the Gold Sunshine Court. From bleak West Virginia to sunny California. On opposite sides of the country. From a captain that rules with fear to a captain that rules with warmth and understanding. From Jersey number 3 to Jersey number 29, not a 3 in sight, not divisble by 3, no association to 3 at all. Instead, a combination of someone who helped him through the Nest, someone who helped him out, and someone who will help him through the aftermath. (2- Kevin; 9- Renee; 2 + 9= 11 - Jeremy)

I think it really helps him to completely restart. To begin again in a place that is so unlike the origin of all his trauma. Far from Kevin and Neil who would be constant reminders of his trauma. Even away from Renee, even though she was his rainbow through the darkness, who may only remind him of the day that was almost his last. A clean slate.

i'm sorry i can't help it i'm obsessed with him. neil josten what a man.

Jean:

Jeremy's kindness being an active choice and not just his nature is actually so special to me

Me feeling a little sad: I AM JEAN MOREAU. I WILL ENDURE

(I'm teaching a 1st grade class about recycling)

Honestly, only Nora Sakavic could write something that makes me want to die on the same page as something that makes me laugh so hard I almost die

Neil casual ordering a hit on Grayson with a napkin will forever be iconic #servingcunt

nothing will ever be a better roast than “Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time” imo neil really ate w that one

I've been thinking a lot about why I liked the AFTG series so much and why I find all four of the books incredibly comforting and I think this line in TKM sums it up how I feel about the entire series:

I think if the series had been any less violent up front, I would probably have run the other way, or at least I would have been very agitated reading it. I'm one of those readers that can't read gentle, tender, soft stories without feeling on edge every step of the way. Haven't got the constitution for it. I just anxiously wait for the other shoe to drop, for something irreparable and devastating to happen to break that fragile peace, even when it never happens. But violence? I'm comfortable with violence. Nothing horrible can possible happen that I'm not already prepared for.

And guess what? The main characters in these books can't handle outright kindness at the beginning either. Neil freaks the fuck out the moment anyone does a nice thing for him while Jean immediately resigns himself to being let down and treated miserably when people afford him the least bit of human decency. But then the series slowly feeds us (and the characters) small, inconsequential moments of unbearable tenderness, Kevin checking Jean's fingers, Cat giving Jean a sand dollar, Andrew lighting two cigarettes and handing one to Neil like it's the most natural thing in the world. It eased us (and the characters) into the idea of tenderness being a thing that's ok to want and safe to have. It slowly chips away at our unease and our reservations and makes us believe in kindness and bright futures along with the main characters.

These books are violent and callous with an undercurrent of tenderness and honestly, nothing comforts me more.

“With ten seconds on the clock, Jean thought maybe he’d apologize to Nathaniel for calling the foxes worthless trash bags. At five seconds, Jean thought he’d even admit the team had performed better than he’d thought possible.”

At two seconds, Kevin scored

Although I knew they’d win I still felt the anticipation and goosebumps. The foxes winning against the Ravens will NEVER get old.

I love this paragraph so much,, Jeremy running to the water and back to Jean reminds me so much of my dog at the beach 😭

neil’s insistence on hiding his scars for as long as possible bc he knows it’s not normal and the foxes Will stare and ask questions vs jean just stripping in front of the trojans bc he expects his teammates to ignore his abuse since it isn’t their business... neil flinching from wymack's loud voice bc he doesnt trust men old enough to be his father vs jean holding his racquet out for rhemann to hit him after "failing" to do what he said he would do because he expects to be beaten to a pulp by his superiors and because "contrition, coach"... it makes me sick!!! i need to wrap them up in a warm blanket forever