I don't cut. when I was younger I heated needles and burnt myself and hit my legs. Self harm isn't just cutting it is any self harm at all. I was clean for 1 1/2 years until today. I struggle with depression and anxiety and had a bad fight with my husband. I relapsed in hitting myself. I then remembered this from when I was younger. How I drew butterflies on me to remember the ppl who love me and their names and supportive words. I may have to start at day one again today but I will be ok again.

I am dealing with self harming. I started cutting myself just 2 months ago. Firts the cuts wasn´t too deep or bad, but now, I have my arm full of cuts so I just find this blog when I was looking for ways to finish with this and I really want to try drawing butterflyes. I have a person that i love so much and he also cut, I can´t help him because the things with him are very complicated but  I want my first butterfly to have his name because, after my family, he is the most important person for me even if he doesn´t know that I really care about him. My story isn´t so complicated or bad, i seem to have everything in life but it doesn´t matter when you feel alone all the time and the only thing you have is your darkness, but i am going to overcome this alone and i am going to make it. This is a message for all people dealing with self harming or suicide thoughts, you are not alone, even if you think that, you need to know that there´s a light in this black hole you just..need to find it. Is hard but we are all going to overcome this and be capable of give a true smile again. We are together in this. Stay strong.

To show support for everyoneout there ^^ hope you find that one perfect friend to lift you beyond your troubles 

I wish I had found this page this morning...

After nearly one year I have cut myself again this morning.I am 33 years old and I still feel like nothing make sense in my life...sometimes I feel so bad, I can't control my pain...I don't know when it started, I don't know why, I just want it to end.I don't know where all this pain comes from but It doesn't matter, it must go away. I dont' want to cut my self anymore. I promise that my arms will be full of butterflies next time. Thanks so much for sharing your experience, it really helps.

Turning Point

I look at my body and still can't believe,

How did I manage to do this to me

How could I ever stand such pain,

When I harmed myself time and again.

I wanted to scream and I wanted to shout,

I wanted to let my frustration out,

In silence the words would stick in my throat,

Instructing my mouth each time that I spoke.

Holding my tongue, too scared to breathe,

Why bother I know that they wouldn't believe,

I'm left with these marks to tell me it's true,

What was I thinking? What did I do?

Why did I feel I did not have a choice,

My body screamed out for it was my voice,

Lost in translation they just couldn't see,

This wasn't "attention seeking" for me.

It was simply my way of calming the storm,

That raged inside since the day I was born,

I learned that somehow it helped keep me calm,

It helped me to hide everything that I am.

Ironic I know when I look at myself,

A result of leaving myself on the shelf,

The consequences of trying to hold on,

Not realising I wasn't required to be strong.

Not realising my silence would lead to this,

So anxious and so many moments I'd miss,

So many memories that I never made,

Wearing these marks that might never fade.

I know that I'll never turn the clock back,

I just have to get myself back on track,

I know I don't have to hurt anymore,

For i'm finally learning to close that door.

I'm a big fan of the butterfly project, as it helped me so much when I was a teenager. I struggled with self harm for a long time. I first found the project when someone asked if they could draw a butterfly on my wrist, as my scars were visible and still quite red. It was right after my one and only attempt to kill myself. I didn't understand what they meant, so they explained it to me and drew one on my wrist in sharpie. The second I had access to the internet, I immediately googled the butterfly project and it soon became a habit. Instead of cutting, I drew butterflies; some were extravagant, others were plain, and others were symbols for people that meant a lot to me, but would never know me. It gave me a new thing to focus on and it really made all the difference. Yesterday, I finally got my butterfly tattoo, a permanent one, to symbolise that I've overcome so much and I'm stronger than what was bothering me back then. I was 13 when I started, I was 16 when I stopped. Now two years later as an 18 year old adult, I finally have my symbols of victory. I've overcome so much, and it's all because of this project. Many huge thank you's to whoever started this. I would not be writing this today had I not found your project. It really has made the world of a difference.

I started cutting 3 months ago and I had a friend that cared so much I stopped for her and only her. She left me 4 days ago and the need to cut is back and I've tried doing the butterfly thing but it hasn't really helped and I need some other way to distract myself.

Thank you Momma butterfly

I can not send my butterfly due to the scars however I wanted you to know that finding out about the butterfly project helped me come around from a very dark place that could have been fatal, it reminded me that there are others like me and also that there is hope for a happier future, my journey through mental health is far from over but due to this I shall live another day and hopefully come back with a picture of a butterfly that doesn't include big scars in the future, the semi colon (;) is currently a sign of support for mental health in the uk, awareness is growing!

I haven't wanted to hurt myself in a very long time yet lately I've felt so anxious and depressed and I have no sure reason why. Chemical imbalance is definitely a tricky issue to balance . As I turn 18 on Christmas Eve I've made over a year of no self harm. Due to the harsh hideous marks I've left on myself I do not feel it was right to paint something so beautiful over them but right below them . I wish I would have thought of something so artistic and meaningful sooner . I look at my scars and realize I have come so far and that this is my butterfly and although it's painted it will never leave ! As I craved control and power over my sadness I chose to grab a paintbrush and paint what I feel to be a beautiful work of art across my flesh . The bristles tickled and the water was very cold and the feeling of the watery paint dripping all over the place tickled even more I found myself laughing at the Galaxy like mess of beautifully created and mixed colors . I splattered water everywhere listening to my favorite music and found myself forgetting what was even wrong as I stroked the black paint for the butterfly I began crying again not because I was sad but I started to cry and as warm water washed over my cheeks I smiled and my body warmed with happiness . I thought there wasn't a solution that this was going to be foolish and just make a mess and I ended up having the most fun I have had in a long time. I find myself falling asleep happy and giddy with joy. My butterfly has no name but holds the names of all those who need it ! we are all one and please please I ask you if you are hurting if you are sad please please think about my butterfly because when you hurt yourself it hurts all of us . You are strong and we are strong ! I have been through a lot however my story is not what always matters . My mom started drugs young and abused me and my sister our entire lifetime I've got more brothers and sisters than I can count on one hand yet I only know one . My biological father is dead one of my stepdads is in prison. I was raised accidentally being given Coke and vodka and pills I couldn't pronounce cause my mom was always high. I was verbally mentally and physically beat down yet everyday I found a way to get through there was always something or someone I wanted more than a spot in the morgue. Cutting never granted me relief just more anxiety and fear. I was constantly wearing hoodies and pants never shorts or a swimsuit . I sought out help eventually going to a mental hospital where I found medication that helped me and people to talk to . I stayed for almost two months before going home a new person I self harmed once after getting out and that was when I realized what I really wanted . A lot of people will tell you again and again that it will get better and to be honest it probably won't as fast as you'd like and sometimes there are going to be things that happen that set you back . But I'll tell you one thing getting help stoping cutting and learning about my illness was a key to getting better . Mental health isn't something to be ashamed of ! People often ask when they see the pill bottles piled on my nightstand but I'm not scared to say well I have manic depression severe anxiety insomnia ptsd and bi polar disorder. you are stronger than all of those things ! They won't ever completely go away they will just get easier to cope with :) it will get better but the only way it can is if you'll work as hard as you humanly can !

you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time

I have a long history of self harming in a ever expanding circle of ways- and the butterfly project is a hopefully a path out of that very dark tunnel

my butterflies

I love this idea. :) I decided to do a little twist on it though. Instead of drawing a butterfly for me. I drew a butterfly for each one of my friends and family, the ones I care about who have self harmed, currently do or have thought of suicide or have. It took up half my forearm but I have successful drawn Each one of them a butterfly with their initials in the wings all 14. I wanted to give them Hope and let them know I care without the entire world knowing exactly who my dear butterflies are.  Hope this gives them the strength they need. And. I hope all of u guys. Struggling with this know u r not alone. And find strength in ur loved ones. And if u don't have anyone. Then count me as one. Because. I trully care about all u guys. .. I've been there. And I don't want u to ever feel alone in this. Cause u aren't And I know how it can eat u up inside.  Complete strangers love u  and want to give u the support and strength u need to keep breathing. No matter what. U aren't. Weak. U are oh so strong. No one knows what exactly u have been through Or trully undestands no matter what they say. But u can still go on. That is AMAZING.  No doubt about it. Keep that in mind and u will never crumble. Anyone who makes you doubt or question ur value even slightly. Isn't worth listenING to or being around. .

stay strong. :) and believe in urself (sorry if it sounds corny but that's just me)<3

The foto on the top is from December 2013. The other from March 2015. Either are from a german musican called Bodenski. This year all the bandmembers draw butterflys on my arm. They help. Thanks for the Project, and Thank you for the butterflys! ♥

My butterfly

Day 2 trying to stay strong for the ones who love me

One of my truest friends drew me this batgirl butterfly just now I'm spreading my wings