bungledown-chim
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a sideblog because I was clogging everyone's dash on my main (@banchie)
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look it's great if you get emotionally invested in the media you consume!! so many people have worked so hard for you to want to see this story through. but if you, a real life person watching a d&d show, threaten graphic brutal violent death with your whole chest unto a teenaged character... consider sitting in a patch of sunlight maybe. do deep breathing exercises perhaps
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ep 15 of fhjy wont phase me brennan lee mulligan, i WILL manifest inkblade into being canon 😤
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while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade
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i couldn't rest until i made something this is driving me insane. so what if i dismissed your success as because of your hardships instead of in spite of them
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put the steelworker's plant animatic on youtube so i’m throwing the link here too, kristen applebees be upon ye 👍👍
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no but if sandralynn dated bobby dawn her taste in men is hysterical cause so far her known dating history is
-cleric of sol
-literal devil
-werewolf with a wild past turned kindly school counselor
-gilear
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The Legendary Adventures of the Bad Kids: Entries in the Legend Lore Database*
Adaine Abernant:
Latest in the line of Elven Oracles
Current wielder of the Sword of Sight, Sword of the Elven Oracle
She who invoked the name of Ankarna and broke Obliviati Mori
Kristen Applebees:
The Chosen of Helio, God of Corn
The Creator of Yes!/Yes?
She who Resurrected Herself
The Blessed Saint of Cassandra, Deity of Mystery, Night and Magic
Figueroth Faeth:
Mortal daughter of Gorthalax the Insatiable, Prince of the Nine Hells and former ruler of the Bottomless Pit
Current Archdevil of Rebellion, Figueroth the Infaethable, the Dark Mistress of the Bottomless Pit
Paramour of Ayda Aguefort, the Mistress of the Compass Points Library
Riz Gukgak:
Fifth of the World of Spyre to summon the Night Yorb to the Material Plane
He who slayed the Dragon Kalvaxus, Emperor of the Red Waste
Fabian Aramais Seacaster:
Mortal son of William "Old Bill" Seacaster, Legendary Pirate and the Current Captain of the Infernal Wastes, Scourge of the Nine Hells
Grandson of Telemaine Lomenelda, swordsmith of the Elven Kings
He who killed William "Old Bill" Seacaster
Current wielder of Fandrangor, Sword of the North Star
Dance Champion of the Elven Oracle, the Oracle of Dance
Gorgug Thistlespring:
Creator of the Barbificer Specialty, the first in the World of Spyre to combine barbarian rage and artificer spellcasting
Currently has the Night Yorb sealed in his personal vehicle, the Hangvan
The Bad Kids (Adventuring Party):
Defeated Kalvaxus, Emperor of the Red Waste
Ended the Nightmare King's Curse on Sylvaire
Defeated the Nightmare King, the King of the Dark Dreaming
Defeated the Cult of the Night Yorb
Defeated the Night Yorb
The first adventuring party in living memory to survive the Last Stand-ard Exam with no party/proctor fatalities
*Updates with corrections as legendary statuses of individuals are verified
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Ok here's an updated timeline of the Rat Grinders based on the new info we got this episode:
Freshman Year
On the first day of classes Kipperlily and the others meet and form their adventuring party. Kipperlily comes up with the name the High Five Heroes.
Kipperlily excels academically, but the High Five Heroes only go on easier adventures, presumably to ensure they will succeed rather than fail at something challenging.
Ruben is primarily an acoustic/soft rock musician.
Kipperlily begins to have childish rage and resentment towards Riz and the other Bad Kids, which start out petty but gradually grow in intensity over the next couple years.
Sophomore Year
An increase in hostility, one of the first meetings Kipperlily has this year is being jealous that Riz's dad was killed by Kalvaxus, that if a person has suffered immense magical hardship it is an unfair advantage in adventuring.
Kipperlily tries to find evidence of conspiracy with her parents and is enraged that they are boring.
A week after spring break the High Five Heroes go on their first quest to the mountains of chaos, chaperoned by Jace Stardiamond.
After this, the High Five Heroes seem to undergo a shift where their rage is amplified. Kipperlily's counselor files become much more venomous towards the Bad Kids, Ruben shifts to emo music, etc.
At some point after this Ivy and Oisin propose changing the name to the Rat Grinders. Kipperlily opposes this and Lucy is on her side, but Ruben votes against her because it makes her upset and Mary Ann also votes against her but doesn't explain her reasoning.
A piece of paperwork is submitted for Lucy to change her god, but another piece of paperwork is filed afterwards rescinding that application, presumably by Lucy herself changing her mind.
Towards the end of the year, after grades are finalized but before classes are over thus avoiding the pass/fail penalty, Lucy dies in the far haven woods near Aguefort. Presumably, she could have been resurrected in service of this unnamed rage god, but chose not to. She "stuck to her guns".
Kipperlily's rage towards the Bad Kids has transitioned from childish to venomous, she "hates them".
Junior Year
At some point between the end of Sophomore year and the beginning of Junior year, the Rat Grinders specifically request Buddy Dawn join their party as a cleric.
At 8:01 am, the first day of classes, Kipperlily goes to Ashgrove to dig up the rogue teacher's grave, thus forcing her to reveal herself and granting Kipperlily a pass for all her rogue classes for the year. Presumably she was aware of the rogue teacher's grave beforehand (information only available in Arthur Aguefort's office) but waited until the start of Junior year so she could pass all her classes for the year.
Kipperlily announces her bid to run for student council president, with a platform based on equity, equanimity, and fairness.
Kipperlily asks Jawbone about the creation of Yes! and the events of prompocalypse
Her counselor notes become extremely enraged, with her straight up wanting to kill Kristin and being angry that she can't get to her thanks to Fig's protection.
Oisin, Ivy, and Buddy are seen at Fabian's house party during the first week of classes. Kipperlily is not seen but is possibly there invisible. The Bad Kids are asked to do drugs but decline. That same night, mephits steal part of a cloud rider engine kept in Seacaster Manor.
At the school assembly the following day Principal Grix reveals he was notified of students doing drugs off campus, meaning its possible the Rat Grinders tipped him off in an attempt to get the Bad Kids in trouble.
Ruben performs presumably some kind of ritual at the Frosty Fair Folk festival, with the other Rat Grinders conspicuously absent. Simultaneously, Yolanda Badgood falls dead in the same place where Lucy Frostblade died, after Yolanda had been made aware of Lucy's change in god and was investigating it. Yolanda also refuses to be resurrected in service of the rage god.
The Rat Grinders are seen at the assembly addressing Yolanda's death and how all clerics would be moved to pass/fail. Most look bored, Mary Ann isn't paying attention, and Buddy is unconcerned.
Kipperlily and Oisin get caught trying to sabotage the Bad Kids' Last Stand exam, and Kipperlily kills Buddy. Ten minutes after the Bad Kids plane shift away, Buddy is revived by an unknown figure and he pledges his allegiance to the rage god.
Now the Rat Grinders are scheduled for another trip to the Mountains of Chaos and are on complete lockdown, hiding all of them from Adaine's divination magic.
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If I had a nickel for every time a cleric of Helio died, met Helio, and then starting worshipping a dead deity instead I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's hilarious that it's happened twice
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yolanda badgood and lucy frostblade being cursed to wander a hell like afterlife because they refused to abandon their gods..... kristen saving them by refusing to abandon hers..... oh i love them all so much......
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the intrepid heroes reached new levels of Accurate Teenage Friendship tonight
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ik it's been beat to death by this point
but holy shit the bad kids in-world are fucking terrifying
even starting with the bad boys:
you have fabian, inheritor of the seacaster and lomenelda legacies and the elven oracle's champion in his own right. maximum legend. somehow a straight-a student, captain of the owlbears, and owner of the party house. he fights with the sword of the elven kings and will perform a full dance routine while decapitating you.
you have riz, licensed private investigator and angelic agent of the lower planar reconnaissance task force. litigator. campaign manager. found the rogue teacher by his own effort and then passed the last stand. the kid who showed up to school with a gun on the first day and now dual wields a sword and a magic gun. he will find you, he will fight you, and if he deems necessary he will eat you.
you have gorgug, creator and pioneer of the barbificer subclass, the first barbarian to be able to maintain spells while raging. the greatest wizard of the age. generally chill but will commit murder over a sex lawnmower. rock star drummer on the side. he can buff his party and solo a purple worm at the same time. he fights with an axe that affects nearby gravity as a returning weapon.
and then the bad girls:
you have adaine, the elven oracle. known for her exquisite spellcraft, unerring eye for the future, and a willingness to get her hands dirty. practical magic is her bitch. she issues 13 impossible prophecies in the span of a couple weeks. she defied the will of fallinel and brought modernity to the court of stars through dance battle (via fabian).
you have fig, of fig and the sig figs fame, the infaethable archdevil of the bottomless pit. an illusionist who's caused so much chaos that she has an agent of the council of chosen personally after her. psychologically threatened a guy in his dreams. a phenomenal bard, warlock of her own domain, and a paladin of conviction and rebellion.
you have kristen, the blessed saint who raised cassandra from the nightmare king and yes!/yes? from the void. who performs miracles with the shards of a dying god and holds the power of doubt as her shepherd's crook. she chose to walk away from being chosen and venture into paths unknown, even as gods asked for her worship. one conversation with her can make you question everything you've ever known.
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hey so... everyone knows Kabru is the opposite of Laios, but nobody talks about how the rest of their party members are also opposed,
scab criminal Mickbell against unionized worker Chilchuck
dogboy against catgirl
Rin the outlaw mage who hasn't actually done anything wrong against Marcille the highborn upper class mage who's secretly a necromancer
Dia the dwarf who distrusts dungeons against Senshi the naturalist who's lived in dungeons for decades
Holm the support mage who uses other creatures as a shield against Falin the cleric with a martyr complex
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