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brownsugarcoffy · 5 months

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Title: What We Did In The Dark {2}*

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, 18+ Mature Content, Angst, Time Jump, Flashbacks, Preggo Talk, Pregnancy Trope, First 200ish words are NSFW

Words: 5.2k

Summary: Neither of you planned any of it. You’d met by chance, and everything that happened after had to have been predestined. Now back to your own life, you find you have a special souvenir from your time in Mauritius.

Note: Italic text above the photo insert symbolizes a memory/flashback. The first 200ish words are NSFW so be aware.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

What We Did In The Dark {1} |

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Chapter 2: Comes To Light

-Y/N-

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for hours. Hell, I think I’ve wanted it since I first saw you between the flames of that bonfire. Can I?”

The feel of his fingers across your cheekbone sent sparks all through your body making you want him more than you’d ever wanted anyone in over two years. It was wild. Once his body pressed to yours, it responded immediately. The feel and taste of his lips only made the moment better. You’d never been a huge fan of kissing but with him, you never wanted to stop.

“Shit, you’re perfect,” he said.

His hands were impressively soft but still held some roughness that could be credited to hours of gripping a steering wheel. It was an interesting combo that made you shiver though it was over 80 degrees. His thumb glided over your nipple, making it pebble painfully from the need for more. Him rolling the bud of your nipple between his thumb and forefinger was the more you needed until his teeth sank into the sensitive flesh of your neck.

“You look good with this cock down your throat.”

Your mouth felt fuller than ever and the feel of him lodged in your throat should have scared you because of his size but your boldness came through instead. It took everything in you to suppress your gag reflex and it looked like he was trying everything to make you gag because it wasn’t until one slipped that he slowly pulled himself from your mouth. The look in his eyes said it all and ignited a hidden fire within you that you didn’t even know was lying dormant.

“Mmm, ride this tongue, Y/N. Show me how bad you want me.”

You felt wild, as if you’d been barred by chains your entire life with everyone you’d ever encountered, and now—this one night—this one moment you were free and completely unrecognizable. Your hips bucked against his mouth and your only thought was your pleasure and how gorgeous he looked with his lips and nose slick from your juices. You wanted to cum all over his face then kiss him until you lost consciousness.

“Y/N?”

“Y/N!?”

The loudness of your name being called made you jump. Looking around you found four pairs of eyes on you.

“Uh--,” you began before clearing your throat.

“Are you here with us?”

“Of course.”

You sat up straighter then gave them a gentle smile hoping that would smooth things over. You needed to leave them with a good impression of you.

“Okay. So with all of this, I see no reason to not move forward with the series. Since you are on board with incorporating some family-friendly content to draw in families with children I think this will be one of the best moves for not only your brand but the series. Does anyone have anything else to add?”

You glanced at your friend, and personal attorney, Villie, who lifted her notepad to you, showing you a scribbled note.

Are you all right? You majorly zoned out again.

You gave her a subtle nod and wrote your own note back.

Is everything still in my best interest?

Villie nodded and gave you a thumbs up.

“I have a question,” one of the men in suits breached.

You smiled and leaned forward giving him your full attention.

“Your brand thus far has been geared to singles and partyers who want to travel for the fun of it, you know those who are interested in drinking and living carelessly. How confident are you that you could pull off being just as interesting and entertaining to those who aren’t looking for those things and even those with children?”

You nodded, fully understanding his concern.

“Good question. Simply put I am 100% confident I can draw in a more family-friendly audience. I think one of the reasons I have such a following is because of my personality. I find a way to live carelessly doing almost anything. It really is dependent on the experience. I don’t see a reason why it would change because of my audience. We all want to have a good time and it’s possible for everyone to get a slice of what they crave while traveling.”

He nodded and looked amongst his colleagues who also nodded.

“I understand his view. I guess he sees you have no children so he is wondering how that audience will relate to you,” another exec pointed out.

This time it was Villie who spoke up. “If you gentlemen have seen a lot of her streams you can see how Y/N approaches travel. She is practically a big child herself. She easily relates to children including her nieces and nephews and even while traveling children gravitate to her. I don’t think it will be any problem at all for the shift of audience to relate to her.”

The men once again looked at each other speaking with nothing but eyes. You glanced at Villie then gave her a quick fist bump. Ever since high school, she’s had your back, which is why you didn’t think twice about making her your professional and personal attorney.

After a few more minutes of discussion, a consensus had been reached. Once you’d signed the contract and shaken the hands of the three men opposite you the meeting was adjourned, and you were now in a completely different pond. No longer would you be this travel influencer who predominantly posted on the internet you were now a travel influencer who was signed to one of the biggest travel channels on television. You were moving on up.

Your excitement was on 100. After the men left the room you and Villie did your victory dance in your seats and quietly screamed.

“Oh my god! This is a great deal for you, Y/N!”

“Couldn’t have done it without my badass attorney!”

Villie smiled then flashed imaginary hair behind her shoulder.

“I am pretty badass huh?”

“Bet your ass you are! Thank you Villie.”

You hugged each other and then stood. However when you stood an intense wave of dizziness washed across you making you drift backward.

“Woah!”

The next thing you knew Villie was beside you holding you close.

“Are you okay?”

“Wha—what happened?”

“You looked like you were falling.”

“Oh. I—I don’t know what happened. I must have stood up to quickly.”

“Are you all right? you’ve been—off for weeks,” Villie inquired.

You straightened up and pressed your hands down the front of your skirt. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I’m probably just tired. It’s been a lot of work convincing these execs that I could do this show while keeping up with my posting schedule and the work for the travel catalog.”

Villie didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “Things are only going to get more hectic you need to take care of yourself, Y/N.”

“I know, I know. I will. I promise.”

The two of you walked out of the room and toward the elevator discussing the plans to celebrate this major accomplishment. Once downstairs you and Villie went your separate ways with plans to meet up that night for dinner and drinks with the girls. As you drove through the city on your way downtown, you made a call to your artistic team to get updates about your catalog.

You’d worked your ass off for it, putting in the long hours of planning and the meticulous schedule you’d kept in order to hit every destination and the exhaustive list of hot spots wherever you went. That was just the tip of the iceberg though. This catalog was a multitude of months’ labor of love.

“I knew you’d call me again today,” Zavier said with a hint of tease in his voice.

You scoffed, “Of course, you’re taking lead with the team for the catalog.”

“Boo. Here I thought you just wanted to hear my voice.”

You smirked. While he had a great voice, one that was deep at the right moments, but level and clear every time he spoke, his voice was not the reason for your call. Deciding to tip-toe around Zavier’s usual banter you focused on the real reason for calling.

“How are things?”

“They are about as good as they were the last time you called to check—yesterday.”

You made a last-minute right turn and was met with a barrage of horns. Raising your hand as an apology, you focused on your conversation. “So everything looks right for launch?”

“Y/N, everything is on track. I know what I am doing, I promise. I wouldn’t have you out in these streets looking foul.”

You smiled and sighed. Zavier had been with you from the beginning of this crazy idea to put together this catalog—2 years. He’d been the one to push you toward it the whole year you’d procrastinated with it then was your number 2 cheerleader after Villie the whole last year you’d actually taken it seriously. You knew his work was solid as was his skill. You trusted him, which was something rare for you.

“I know Z, thank you. I’m just--.”

“A bit obsessive and compulsive and a whole lotta stressed? I know. What have I told you about your stress levels? Someone whose whole career is traveling and unwinding shouldn’t be as stressed out as you. Your life is literally one long vacation.”

You rolled your eyes because a lot of people thought that. They thought your life was one big party and good time and while 40% of it was the remaining 60 was anything but. It took a lot of work to be on vacation all the time. However, you never corrected anyone when they brought it up. You didn’t want to sound pretentious or ridiculous.

Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something in response, another wave of dizziness washed over you. This time you found yourself drifting sideways in the car which sent the car gearing to the right into the next lane. Before you knew what happened you’d slammed into something sending your head banging into the steering wheel and turning your vision black.

~~~~~~~

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep.

The first thing you recognized was the steady beeping tone. You recognized the steady, rhythmic beeping. The second thing you recognized was the sudden rush of pain you felt in your head. Panic filled you and the once steady beeping turned erratic. You darted upward and immediately regretted it. Dropping back to the bed you groaned and held your head.

“Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.”

“W—what—where am I?”

“You’re at Mount Saini Medical Center.”

More panic filled and you tried to sit up again but hands pushed you back down.

“Calm down. Lie down. You’ve been in an accident and have a mild concussion. You need to remain lying down.”

“Accident?”

Your vision finally steadied allowing you to take in the woman standing over you. Her long black hair fell around her shoulders that were clad in a lollipop printed top.

“I’m Mariah, I’m one of your nurses here.”

“How—how long have I been here?”

“Not too long, 5 hours give or take.”

You looked around and took in the hospital room you were in. The tans, clays and camel colors decorated the space giving it an earthy and Zen vibe.

“Am I--,” you attempted but the tightness in your throat prevented further speech.

“You must be thirsty,” Mariah said before walking a few feet away. When she came back she held a cup for you to take. “Water.”

You took the cup and only meant to take a small sip but instead downed the entire cup.

“Good. Remaining hydrated is important.”

“What happened? Why am I here?”

“When you were brought in the paramedics said you’d rear-ended another car and was found unconcious behind the wheel.”

You squinted your eyes trying to remember. It took several attempts, but bits and pieces came back to you confirming those details.

“Oh my god, is anyone hurt?”

“Just you. The other driver wasn’t in the car, they were parked. They were the ones who found you, got you out of the car, and called the paramedics to bring you here,” Mariah explained.

“Oh my god. I have no idea what—wait—I was dizzy all of a sudden and I must have accidentally—oh my god.”

“Dizziness is normal at this time. Because of your condition, you were immediately admitted and checked out.

You paused rubbing your temples to look at her. “Huh? My condition? What condition?”

The nurse studied you for a moment. “Yeah,” she began taking up your chart that rested in the slot at the foot of the bed. You watched her flip through the pages. “Yeah, it says here that you’re pregnant.”

Suddenly, the ringing in your ears increased until it was the only thing you could hear. Pinching the bridge of your nose you shook your head trying to clear the increasing fog in your brain.

“W—what are you talking about?”

Your voice sounded foreign to you, muffled, and stretched as if in slow motion.

“You’re pregnant. You didn’t know?”

You shook your head again ridding your ears of the ringing but that was about it. your head still felt heavy.

“P-pr—preg—no. You’re wrong.”

“On the contrary. It’s routine with everyone who comes in to run a panel, with women it includes pregnancy. It allows us to treat you better. It was a good thing we tested before running you into a CAT scan. The test was positive and after a consult with OB-GYN, it was confirmed with a Doppler,” Mariah filled in.

Your head was spinning now. She could have been speaking another language entirely because your brain was not connecting the dots.

“I—I’m--.”

“Pregnant. Congratulations.”

Once again your vision went black, and everything slipped away.

~~~~~~~

Your surroundings looked familiar when you opened your eyes. The rich earthy colors gave you a sense of calm but also warmth. To your right the view outside your window was dark and to your left you found Villie dozed off. You groaned as you tried to sit up, your head still pounding.

“Fuck,” you croaked.

The sound of your voice made Villie jolt upward her hair half slayed and half sticking up thanks to her awkward sleeping position.

“Oh my god, Y/N!”

She rushed to your side and took your hand then fired off a series of questions that your brain couldn’t quite understand in its current slightly traumatized state. On the 7th rapid-fire question, you clasped your head.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Valenza my brain is like a cracked egg right now. Slow down.”

She cotched at the edge of your bed then took a breath. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I don’t feel okay at all. my head feels like I was Humpty fucking Dumpty.”

“They told me you got into an accident. Oh my god, babes.”

“I don’t know what happened. One minute I was fine, the next--.”

“You’re not taking care of yourself. I knew this would happen eventually,” Villie said.

She took a deep breath then squeezed your hand. “I’m glad you’re okay. They say they’re keeping you for observation mainly and if all checks out tonight they can release you tomorrow night.”

“It’s just this headache that won’t go away.”

“I got everything Villie.”

You looked across the room and saw Zavier walking inside with his hands full of bags, balloons, flowers, and other items.

“Oh god. Did you call everyone?”

“No. You were on the phone with Z when this happened. He was the one to call me,” Villie explained.

“Are you okay?”

Zavier filled in on your right side and took your hand.

“I’m all right. Little damage done.”

His hazel eyes bored into you scanning every inch of your face. His brows were creased with worry and he looked less rested than he usually looked.

“You look like shit.”

Zavier scoffed. “You’re the one to talk. Your head is wrapped like a pinata.”

You smiled but immediately regretted it.

“I brought all your favorites. I don’t know if you can have caffeine, but I brought your fave latte, and the sweetheart rolls you love from Oishi with plenty of ginger dressing.”

You gave Zavier a small smile not wanting to trigger the pain in your head.

“Thanks Z, that’s sweet of you.

“Oh you’re awake. Good. How are you feeling?”

You squinted toward the new voice, a voice you recognized from earlier. “Uh—pretty much the same.”

“Oh. How does your head feel?”

“Like it’s splitting.”

“Okay. I sent a message to your doctors to see if they can narrow down any pain medicines they can prescribe to help due to your—condition.”

It was then it all came back. Your eyes met the nurse’s and an unspoken understanding passed between the two of you.

“Condition? What condition?”

You looked at Villie then Zavier and closed your eyes. “The concussion.”

“How is she really nurse?”

“She has a mild concussion. She did bang her head pretty good, so we just want to watch that to make sure it doesn’t escalate. Oop, is that caffeine?”

All your eyes roved over to the bedside table where Zavier had placed your latte.

“Yes. A vanilla, cinnamon, caramel latte with nutmeg,” he replied.

“Oh, sorry. No caffeine for now and no sushi if it has raw fish, mercury levels you know.”

Mariah gave you a look but you didn’t quite understand it.

“Don’t worry guys, we will get her some food shortly and take good care of her.”

“Mariah?”

Another nurse dressed in traditional white scrubs entered the room.

“What is it Brooke?”

“Um, there is a man at the desk asking about one of your patients. He says he was told the woman who rear-ended him was admitted and he wanted to speak with her.”

“How did he find that out? Did you--?”

“No. HIPPA, of course not,” Brooke defended.

Mariah sighed then stood. “I’ll be right back.”

“Am I the woman?”

“Don’t worry I won’t let him near you.”

“No it’s okay. I feel horrible. Let him know I’ll cover the damages, and any medical reimbursement he may need. It is my fault after all.”

“I’ll go with you nurse. I’m her attorney. Let’s see what his intentions are showing up here,” Villie said standing and rearranging her dress.

Once the nurse and Villie left you were alone with Zavier, who pulled his chair closer and gave you his best reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, Valenza is a shark. She’ll have this guy reimbursing you after everything is said and done.”

“Yeah, I bet. It’s my fault though. I’ll take responsibility.”

Zavier nodded. “One of the things I love about you is that you’re fair in everything you do. I’ve never known you to try to swindle someone out of something if it’s rightfully owed to them. You’ll even pay vendors who show us around destinations 5% more than their rate just because you know most tourists are assholes and don’t tip or care about their footprint in these people’s native countries. It’s—admirable Y/N.”

“Thanks Z.”

A few moments of silence passed and in those moments your brain tried to piece together everything from the last few hours. However the more you thought the more pain you felt and whenever one word echoed in your head, you had the urge to throw up. so as quickly as you began to think you stopped and went the route you were good at—distraction.

“Did you bring your laptop?”

“Nope.”

“What about your tablet. Come on, I know you don’t leave home without that thing. Show me the--.”

“Nope. There is no way in hell I’ll let you work at a time like this. Rest, Y/N.”

You sighed and pouted which had Zavier laughing.

“You look like a petulant child.”

You stuck your tongue out at him in response, ignoring everything else.

“Y/N.”

Villie’s voice drew your attention to the door where she stood with a very tall light-skinned man.

“Uh--.”

“This is Miles. He wanted to make sure you were all right after the accident,” Villie informed.

You pushed yourself up some more and fixed your gown a little as the man crossed the room.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Oh god, I’m so sorry. I feel terrible,” you began.

“No, it’s fine. I got the details from the paramedics and from what the doctors revealed. You had a medical emergency it wasn’t on purpose. I understand.”

You gave him a soft smile. “Thank you for understanding but I still feel like shit.”

“I was worried when I found you unconscious across the steering wheel. I’m by no means a doctor but I tried the best I could to stop the bleeding.”

“That was you? Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Miles added.

“Look I will pay for the damage done to your car and anything else.”

He scoffed. “You weren’t kidding Ms. Chord. She really is self-sacrificing.”

“To a fault,” Villie teased.

You recognized a glint in her eyes as she spoke to him and made a note to bring it up later. Was she shooting her shot out there to smooth things over or was this real interest? You looked over the man taking in his tall, lanky frame that looked muscular but not obsessively so. The tattoos on his hands hinted that there was more to the picture though he dressed in a mix between street and business casual. He looked just like Villie’s type.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I insist. Please give Ms. Chord your information and we’ll talk once I’m released, or the two of you could work things out,” you wing-womaned.

Miles smiled and looked back to Villie who also smiled while twirling the ends of her hair. Oh, she was feeling him alright. Villie motioned her head to him and the two of them left together.

“Villie would be the only one to find a date from your accident,” Zavier joked.

You couldn’t help but laugh even though seconds later you regretted it.

2 hours later brought the end of visiting hours and it was then you were truly alone. The silence in the room was deafening. So deafening the voices that spoke in the silence all said the same thing.

“What the fuck!?”

You were pregnant. Not suspected pregnant, or possibly pregnant. You were confirmed, definitely pregnant. How in the hell had you missed this? You thought back over the last weeks trying to recall if you had a period. You thought you had but how could you have had one if you were pregnant now. The more that word came to mind the harder you worked trying to ignore the massive elephant in your head, the culprit, the other major factor in this scenario.

“No,” you said shaking your head.

You couldn’t go there. You weren’t ready to go there. You needed answers.

“Okay, so we have some meds for you. After your OB and attending huddled, they came up with something that was safe for you during early pregnancy. They also reviewed some of your bloodwork and found you severely lacking in several vitamins which could explain the increased dizziness you’ve been experiencing. So we are going to hook you up to some iron, and vitamin B12 with a mix of B complex which includes zinc, magnesium, Glutathione, Calcium, some electrolytes, and folate.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Don’t worry it’s only these two bags plus the pain medicine we will give via tablet form,” Mariah explained.

“When can I talk to the OB? I have some questions. I’m just a little confused. I had a period, or I think I did and I—I don’t know how this is possible.”

Mariah nodded. “No doubt, I paged her about an hour ago. She usually makes rounds before she leaves for the night so she should stop in tonight hopefully.”

“Hopefully is definitely. Hi, I’m Dr. Olumici, it’s nice to meet you Y/N.”

A woman of color approached you with a kind smile on her face that instantly reassured you.

“Thank God. Hi.”

She pulled up a chair but before she sat she flipped through your chart and studied the machines. “Your vitals look good, that’s reassuring. How are you feeling?”

“Apart from this headache okay I guess.”

“Good. No abdominal cramping or bleeding?”

“No.”

“Wonderful. While I don’t think anything would be wrong with the fetus I like to be safe there, especially after any car accident.”

“That’s the thing I don’t know how there is a fetus. I had a period, I had 2 actually.”

“When?”

“Last month, and this month.”

“Were they normal for you?”

“Yes. 4 days, lite to normal flow. It was all normal.”

“Hm. Mariah, can you bring me a portable ultrasound please?”

“Right away Dr. Olumici.”

Mariah walked out of the room leaving you with the doctor. She approached and proceeded to examine your abdomen. She felt around applying pressure to different parts then she moved down to your pelvic area. As she did it she didn’t speak but every so often she made an “mm-hm” sound. You didn’t know what to make of it, so you kept quiet and watched her like a hawk.

In a few short minutes Mariah returned with an ultrasound machine that she set up on your left side.

“How many times did we run blood work Mariah?”

“Twice from the same sample. Should we take new samples?”

“Let’s hold off for a moment. Okay, Y/N. We’re going to get some definitive answers right here and now. I can understand how confusing this must be and the need for even just a sliver of certainty I can understand is overwhelming,” Dr. Olumici began.

You nodded finally feeling seen and heard. You fought the tears pricking your eyes and took several deep breaths.

“First let me ask a few preliminary questions. LMP you said you’ve had them for the last two months. Okay. What about sexual activity. When was the last date for that?”

You swallowed and saw his face in your mind’s eye as clear as day.

“Um—this month would be 3 months ago.”

“So—August, okay. None since then?”

“No.”

“Was there protection in August?”

You hesitated because you knew if you said the truth—no, that they would look at you as if you were crazy.

“No judgment zone Y/N. I’m here to help you not judge you,” Dr. Olumici reassured.

“No.”

“Okay. Have you felt any pregnancy symptoms?”

“What are those?”

“Nausea, vomiting, food cravings, breast changes, fatigue, increased urination, backache, dizziness, bloating, maybe cramps, or constipation.”

You thought over the last month or two and noted several instances where you’d felt at least 4 of those symptoms but you’d chalked it up to you working so much and getting less and less sleep. You explained your circumstances to Dr. Olumici who made some notes in your chart as she nodded her head. Once the questions were finished, she sat behind the machine and prepared to get started.

After she explained what was going to happen she squirted the cold gel over your abdomen then moved the Doppler wand across your stomach. You took a few centering breaths then turned your attention to the screen and watched as the image came to life. the black and white images were unrecognizable to you. It was crazy to think you were looking at imagining from inside your womb. Technology was truly fascinating.

The room was completely silent as Dr. Olumici slowly moved the wand over every inch of your abdomen. When she dipped lower getting closer to your pelvic region the image cleared up and then your world came to a complete stop. You didn’t know what you were looking at, but you knew you were looking at something.

“Okay. Here we are. Mariah please the volume.”

Mariah tapped a button on the dashboard a few times then the room filled with quick rhythmic pounding that sounded like a heartbeat. When you realized what you were listening to, you gasped.

“This is your baby, Y/N.”

“Holy Shit!”

You’d said it louder than you’d intended and now your voice was echoing off the walls.

“Calm down. It’s okay. I’ve gone through this first moment with a lot of women. Take a few breaths. Mariah, some water please.”

Mariah poured some water from a dusty rose-colored plastic pitcher into a matching cup then handed it to you. You drank it all down as your eyes remained on the screen at the little blip that was front and center. Once the cup was empty you tried to keep your breathing steady.

“So—I’m—I’m really--,” you paused closed your eyes, and released a slow breath. “I’m pregnant.”

“Yes. You’re pregnant and looking at the fetus, I’d say you’re—currently in your third month, nearing the end of your first trimester.”

“What!”

“Interesting. You don’t look to be showing at all. There is a percentage of women who do not have symptoms or growth which hinders them from ever knowing they are pregnant. We call them cryptic pregnancies. Most women who experience them usually go their entire pregnancy never knowing because they don’t have symptoms, they continue their cycles, and they never show. It could be the same for you. Time will tell.”

Suddenly the image on the screen split in two and you sat up.

“What just happened?”

Dr. Olumici leaned closer to the machine then moved the wand lower over your pelvis and pressed for firmly.

“Huh, would you look at that.”

She tapped a few buttons then moved the wand again and repeated the series of movements 3 or 4 times.

“Someone please talk to me.”

“Yes, I’m sorry Y/N. I was so focused on making sure I didn’t miss anything or anyone. So it looks like we’re dealing with a twin pregnancy. This little one was hiding behind their sibling.”

“Twins?!”

“Twins. I want to say that they are in separate amniotic sacs which indicates fraternal twins, but I have seen identical twins in separate sacs. Depending on what you decide to do we’ll do a thorough check at your first official prenatal appointment.”

All this information was really taking its toll. You’d begun this discussion with very little pain in your head but as things progressed the pain intensified. Right now you felt as if you were having one of the worst migraines you’d ever had in your life. It was all too much, way too much at once. You’d just signed a deal for your own travel show which would mean more travel, long hours, and plenty of work, you were also doing a swimsuit and vacation wear line and a travel catalog and now not only were you currently pregnant but you were also having not one but 2 babies and all of this from 1 one-night stand where you allowed yourself to be the freest you’d ever been—the happiest you’d been.

“Fuck my life!”

This was the consequence of letting yourself live without inhibitions. This was the consequence of forming connections. This was the consequence of being carefree, the consequence of carelessness.

The consequences of what you did in the dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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brownsugarcoffy · 8 months

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ONE SHOT : THE LIGHT IN THE DARK

PAIRING : Lewis Hamilton x Black reader

SUMMARY : The stripper Shiny Kay has one mission : collect enough money to take care of her sister. She usually cares about no man, but what will happen when she meets the Lewis Hamilton?

WARNINGS (+18) : Toxic environment, harassment, misogyny, violence, mention of health issues and death, angst, and SPICY SMUT - A LOT OF WORDS : 21k

(English is not my first language so feel free me to correct me so I can improve it next time).

This one was very challenging to write. As I explained, I wanted to write something different with a darker theme than usual. So, I would love to have your opinions and thoughts on this one.

Hopefully, it can bring you some comfort after that shitty race.

Remember writing takes a lot of time, if you enjoyed, please reblog, comment and interact.

The days passed and looked similar. You took a deep breath as you finished your makeup. Every time you stared at yourself in the same mirror, you wanted to burst into tears. The manager came into the locker room and clapped his hands. "Come on! Show time, girls." Hearing the sound of his voice always provoked a form of rage within your body and soul. Sure, it wasn’t his fault if you worked here, but he did not help to make things better in the workplace. After taking another deep breath, you embodied your stage name, Shiny Kay. A very confident and sexy woman who was not afraid of anyone or anything. Her beauty and charisma are enticing, she is a captivating soul. Her moves were unforgettable, she was a free spirit. Unlike the real version of you, who is more shy, more reserved, and more discreet.

The red, blue, and pink neon lights illuminated the room. As usual, you scanned the room before swaying your hips until you arrived at your pole. When the music started, you completely abandoned your body to the rhythm of it. Your legs, arms, and hips moved in rhythm with the music. Most of the time, you avoided looking at the clients seated around the tables. Contrary to the rest of the girls, you played the card of the mysterious stripper, the hard to get. It was your way to protect yourself and your mental health. After doing the same job for three consecutive years without days off, you were mentally drained. However, your hard reality would never allow you to quit this job. The more you danced, the more you played with the pole, jumping on it, executing complicated figures, and grinding near it before walking among the tables. The walk around the tables was probably the worst part. You sometimes felt like a gazelle in the middle of fierce lions who did not care about rules or integrity. The amount of time you have been touched without your consent has been nerve-wracking. Especially when your manager did nothing to protect his workers. Unfortunately, seducing clients was the only way to make that extra money. At each touch, personal dance, and eye contact, you thought about giving up and never coming back the next day. Yet you changed your mind each time you counted your money at the end of your shift.

The night went as it usually does until a pair of brown eyes captivated your attention. It was very rare for you to make eye contact from the stage. The type of stare that would make the typical woman smile and the grown woman squirm. The darkness of the room would not allow you to fully see his face. Most of the time, the clients were not really attractive, which is why, nine times out of ten, you did not mind not seeing their faces. After moving around the stage to get a small glimpse of the stranger, you gave up. After all, what could you possibly gain from seeing his face? Instead, you refocused on your dance moves, a complicated task to do when the same brown eyes would not leave your figure. During the entire song, his eyes never left you. They never moved or looked around to catch a glimpse of the five other women on stage. By the end of the night, you had collected all the money that had been thrown at you, wondering if you had reached your goal today. As you were focused on doing so, your manager approached you. Before he could say a word, you stopped in your tracks and stared at him with a bored face. "Yeah, I’m listening."

"A VIP wants you for a private session."

Your heart started racing faster at the mention of a private session. There was nothing you hated more than being alone with a stranger in the room. The strip club was known to be very selective and private. That is why it was pretty common for you to strip for athletes, businessmen, singers, rappers, actors, and sometimes influencers. Each time, you hated the experience because too many of them ignored how to behave around a sex worker. A good chunk of them thought that it was okay to touch you without consent, kiss you, put pressure on you to get naked, or even invite their friends for the session. Of course, you would complain about it to your manager, but he never cared. Not when your complaints could have damaged his wallet. The desire to refuse that session was very strong, but when you thought about the reasons why you were still doing this job and the reality waiting for you at home, you agreed with a simple nod. "Good job, Kay. You really caught our most discreet client's eye. He usually never asks for a private session. I mean, all the girls here want him because he’s attractive and very rich, which is pretty rare here."

He joked, hoping to crack a smile from you, but you stayed still. Your experience in the industry taught you to never get your hopes too high. "The girls are going to get jealous." When you arrived in front of one of the many private rooms, your manager grabbed your shoulders and forced you to look at him.

”Last-time incidents better never happen again. If it does, you’re fired. Understood?" You nodded as you tried to fight your tears at the memory of that man touching you inappropriately. Before you touched the handle, your boss handed you a piece of paper, which made you furrow your brows. "It’s a NDA. He requests that you sign it."

”Why? I'm just going to dance with him, not sleep with him."

"You know how some girls love to run their mouths around. Just sign it.”

After letting out a loud sigh, you signed the paper. Reading it was useless. First, you didn’t care about the client. Second, you would never run your mouth around for personal reasons. Third, there was nothing to gossip about. Stripping for another ugly or creepy man was not gossip magazine-worthy. Without waiting, you turned around and opened the door, already prepared to face another creep or ugly man. After pushing the negative thoughts away, you confidently walked into the red lit-room. Goose bumps appeared all over your skin when you noticed the same beautiful brown eyes you saw earlier. Even if you were excited to see who carried those beautiful pairs of eyes, you refused to get your hopes too high. Every time you did, you ended up being disappointed. For her, I need to do it. Shiny, now it’s your time.

****

"Good evening, sir. I hope you had a great time with us tonight." You said, seductively as you kept walking towards him. Once you were close enough, you let out a silent gasp. This client is one of the most beautiful you have ever seen. He confidently greeted you in a soft tone, with a gentle smile to top it all. For once, you would dance for a client you were physically attracted to. From his eyes, to his lips, to his nose, to his hands, to his tattoos, everything intrigued you. Even if you would never admit it, there was something very enticing about the man sitting in front of you. "You can call me Lewis."

"Oh well, nice to meet you, Lewis." You replied with a smirk on your face. However, his attractiveness would not change a damn thing. Last time you treated a beautiful man differently than others, it ended up with him admitting he used you after you went on a few dates and slept with him. Shiny cared about no man. No man could change her mind or ways. "I’m going to show that you were right to choose me." You whispered a few inches away from his face. After you chose the music with the room’s phone, you went to the pole and danced for him as if your life depended on it. Since he was a rich client, you wanted to excel to get good money. When you put your hands on his knees and grinded all over him, you closed your eyes, expecting him to touch you like the other bastards would. To your surprise, that moment never happened. He never once touched you. Only intensely stared at every move and inch of skin. To push his buttons, you sat on his lap before grinding and twerking on him sensually. A shot of confidence got to you as you took his hands and placed them at the bottom of your back. You were intrigued by his self-control and confidence.

Usually, you are the mystery in the room, but not today. You leaned in his ear, whispering into it, "Not gonna lie, I’m impressed by your self-control." Lewis moved his head backward to look at you. He could not explain why, but you captivated his eyes the second he arrived at the club. When he deeply stared into your eyes, he could read the pain, the sadness, the despair—everything. The intense eye contact created a sort of discomfort. You hated the way he tried to read through your eyes. As you were about to move and get up, he locked your waist with his arms, which caused your eyes to widen. "I’m impressed by your aura."

You lightly giggled while looking at him. "Well, another one." Lewis’ eyes could not leave yours. "Can I rub your back with my thumb?" You furrowed your brows, surprised by his request and by the fact that he was asking before making moves. "Wow, it’s a rare demand, but yeah."

"Thanks, beautiful." He replied while his thumb caressed your back. A sensation of comfort invaded you while he did so. "What’s your lil name?"

"Shiny Kay."

"Why Kay?"

"Why are you asking?" You responded, hoping that he would give up. "Don’t know. I’m intrigued by the choice." The name Kay was way too personal for you to explain to him. Instead, you decided to change subjects.

”What is a beautiful man like you doing here? It’s not like you can’t get laid."

"I know, but I don’t do attachments. That’s why I prefer to turn to girls in the industry, you know?"

"Okay, I see the type of guy. You’re too beautiful for one woman. That’s it?" He giggled wholeheartedly, which made you laugh too. The sound of his laugh was as beautiful as his face. "I’ll take the compliment." The following moments of silence made you realize the position you were in with a complete stranger—a pretty intimate one. "Hum. I don’t sleep with my clients. I’d rather tell you."

"I wasn’t going to ask. You’re a stripper, not a prostitute. I can differentiate both." His quick replies and self-assurance caught you off guard. To avoid getting lost in his eyes, you got off his lap and kept dancing. The more he stared at you, the more you got rid of the few items you wore until you were topless. Lewis licked his lips at the sight if your breast. "Most men think that we’re messing around with clients."

"I’m not most men." This time, you could not help but laugh out loud. "Very humble, I can see." Your delicate voice sent a shiver through his spine, but he tried his best to control himself. He ignored why, but he felt the need to spend some time with you in private. "Why do you think that you’re different than the rest?" You asked, never stopping the dance on the pole. "I was joking, beautiful. The only difference is maybe my discipline."

"You didn’t need to tell me. I could see. I would also say that you know how to treat sex workers. Contrary to most of your peers.” Lewis weakly smiled, saddened by the thought of what you probably had to go through. "My mommas did a good job at raising me." You lightly laughed before approaching him again. "Your mommas?" You asked, thinking that he had made a mistake.

"Long story short, I have two mothers." You simply nod, refusing to know more about his private life. Thankfully, he jumped on the occasion to change subjects. "I’ve never seen you here before. Sure, I don’t come that often, but you never caught my eye before."

"The manager has three other clubs. I arrived in this one only a few months ago." Lewis nodded while sipping on vodka. "Would you like to drink?"

"I don’t drink at work, but thanks. By the way, I love the piercings on the nose."

"I like the ones on your titties." He whispered with a certain lust in his voice. Even if you were very tempted to push his buttons, you had to protect yourself. You had learned the hard way that certain men would do the most just to bed you. You threw your head back and snorted. "Thanks, Lewis."

The knocks on the door made you jump. Your manager screamed from the other side of the door. "Is everything alright?" Lewis replied with an enthusiastic yes. "Perfect, I’d like to spend more time with her."

"Not possible, man! Another client wants a private session. She's very popular here."

"Whatever he’s paying, I’m paying double." Your eyes widened at Lewis’ determination to stay with you. Deep inside, you were happy to end the night with him instead of going to another client who probably looked nothing like Lewis. The manager did not hesitate and replied, "She’s yours until closure. Enjoy!"

The stunned look on your face probably expressed your gratitude. "Looks like I swiped Lewis off his feet. " You joked, turning around the pole. "Tell me what I can do for you. Do you want a full nude?" You asked with your usual sensual voice.

"I want you to do what you’re comfortable with." Your eyes widened again, and you hated how he could read you like an open book. His kindness reminded you of how the last man who broke your heart acted. Of course, he doesn’t care. For him, you were probably another one.

"Why are you nice to me?" Your tone became sterner and colder, which surprised Lewis.

"Because I want to. Why do you expect me to treat you like shit?"

"If you want to get laid, there’s no need to play the good guy." Lewis furrowed his brows before adjusting his cap. "I never needed to do that to get a girl."

"I guess, if you say so. I insist. What do you want me to do?”

"I’ve already replied." If it were not for that job, you would have cursed him out. There was nothing you hated more than a client who ignored what he wanted from you. Sure, you would get money out of it, but you still wanted to know his intentions.

"For how long have you been stripping?"

"We’re not doing it. I’m not talking about my personal life." You raised one hand in the air, waiting for him to focus again on what he actually paid for. "Okay, I understand. As I said, surprise me. Put out a show." You leaned on the pole as you performed differently than usual. Since he told you to do what you felt comfortable with, you decided to insist on the dancing. The way he was staring motivated you to go harder until you sat on his lap again.

"Looks like you feel very comfortable here." He joked, but you kept focusing on your moves. "You can touch me." A murmur escaped your lips as you grinded on his lap. Lewis wasted no time, and grabbed your hips. The view was one of the most sensual and exciting ones he had seen. The way you danced completely enticed him. He was under the spell, and there was nothing he could do about it. His hands traveled to your stomach, gently caressing it before ending up on your naked behind. "Damn, baby, you have a great ass."

"I know, baby." Despite the fire in the pit of your stomach, you continued to rub your body against his, allowing him to roam his hands all over your body. Out of nowhere, he grabbed your hips to stop you. "Thank you for the little show, Shiny Kay. I should go." You were surprised and a little disappointed by the brutal stop. "Please, stay one more hour. If not, my boss will think that I messed up and be on my neck for months." Lewis threw his head back in frustration with a groan. He wanted to go and not succumb to your dangerous moves and curves. "Please." You repeated almost pleadingly. He finally nodded and accepted your request. As you were about to dance again, he stopped you. "Don’t. Let’s just talk for an hour."

"Why? I thought you enjoyed the show."

"I did. I just don’t want to get out of here with a boner." You laughed.

"A boner from a dance? I thought a man like you could handle it." You joked.

"I’m still a man, very sensitive to a beautiful, charming, and mysterious woman. Anyway, why Kay? I want to know." You sat by his side before rolling your eyes at him. "You’re the type who can’t give up, right?"

"Absolutely." Thus far, the man has been nice to you, so you decided to let your guard down for a moment. After all, you would not have to dance or do anything sexual. You would just have to talk. "I’m Kayla." You lied, not wanting to give out your real name to anyone. No matter how rich, famous, or beautiful, the man was still a stranger. It would not be safe for you to be fully open. Since you had no idea what his intentions were, you preferred to maintain a certain distance. Surprisingly, the conversation was going very well. You were surprised to see a certain connection and chemistry between the two of you. A knock on the door interrupted your laughter. His dad jokes could, from time to time, be funny. "Kay, end of the service." You heard your boss’ voice from the other side of the door.

Out of panic, you stood up and walked to the door, pretending to have worked very hard during the session. If he ever finds out that you have been chatting with the client, you will be fired. The door opened as Travis, your boss, widely smiled at Lewis. "I hope everything was good." Lewis nodded with a grin. "Perfect, she’s amazing." You shyly smiled before thanking Lewis and walking toward the door. He knew what you were thanking him for.

"Wait, come here." He almost screamed, urging you to come near him. You hesitated before turning back. Lewis discreetly handed you an envelope with money in it. "I already paid for the session. This is just for you." If he only knew how his gesture would help you. If you could, you would have jumped on him for a tight hug. He was definitely a client you would not forget anytime soon. "Thank you, Lewis. I appreciate. Have a nice day." You murmured, taking the money and going to the locker room. The room was still full of girls counting the money of the night. All of them stopped doing whatever they were doing when you entered the room. Most of the stares were filled with jealousy and envy. "The Queen of the Day, how was your private session with Lewis Hamilton?" You furrowed your brows at his entire name. So, the guy was really famous? That was probably why he wanted you to sign an NDA. "Don’t tell me you don’t know him." Scarlett said in delusion. "I don’t." All of them gasped and screamed at the news. "What? Is he a bad guy?"

Kesha laughed loudly with Caresha. "Girl, he’s the best F1 driver. A fine and rich man. How do you not know him?" You shrugged, not paying that much attention. "Did you sleep with him?" Scarlett asked out of curiosity. "Of course not. I’m not fucking my clients." All of them groaned and screamed in unison. "I swear you don’t deserve that spot. How have you missed a chance to make extra money?" You closed your eyes, trying your best not to explode in front of the girls. "I don’t want to sleep with nobody. My job is to dance. That’s it." They laughed even louder. "You’ll never have the money for your sister if you don’t sell pussy to the side." Kesha added before recounting her money. "A friend of mine is an escort, and she said that Lewis was very good in bed. A lil freak. On top of that, he’s beautiful. You could fuck him for an extra." This time, the pressure was too much, and you exploded. "I said, I ain’t fucking nobody. If y’all need that extra money, then go fuck him." You shouted before smashing your locker door. "Don’t take it like that, Kay. We just want to help." Scarlett murmured while looking at you. After you gave all of them the death glare, you dressed up and stormed out of the club.

Arriving at home was always a complicated task, and seeing your sick sister on her medical bed never failed to break your heart. When you arrived, she was deeply asleep. You smiled at her angelic face before kissing her forehead. You would do anything and everything to save your little sister, and that included working as a stripper to pay for her treatment. The regular jobs weren’t paying enough for you to cover the bills and pay for her medicine. However, these last few months, the goal was not to only pay for medicine anymore. It was to raise enough money to pay for a life-changing surgery for her. Unfortunately, without the surgery, she won’t be able to live that long because her lungs are pretty damaged. Before going to bed, you prepared everything for her and counted your money. Thanks to Lewis, you made $5,000 more than usual, which was rare. That money would be allocated for the surgery. When you collapsed on your bed, tears rolled down your cheeks. You were not sure you would be able to keep up with this intense life rhythm. Each time you woke up, you ignored whether your sister would make it. Ignored if you would be treated well at work.

The stress, the exhaustion, the lack of support, the shame—all those feelings felt heavier and heavier each day. Instead of letting your dark thoughts get over you, you unlocked your phone and tapped Lewis Hamilton. You let out a surprised gasp when you realized that he was 38 years old. The man truly looked amazing for someone nearing forty. As you scrolled, you realized how big the man was and why the girls were kind of obsessed with him. He was rich, successful, beautiful, empathetic, and kind. As you were about to close the page, you stumbled upon a photo of him, displaying how well-endorsed he was. It now makes sense why the girls would think that you slept with him. As curiosity and horniness slowly grew, you shook your head and closed the pages. You would not allow this man, another client to get into your head. It does not matter how nice he was to you or how bad your body craved him.

In two weeks, you agreed to do more private sessions than you ever did. Obviously, most of them reminded you why you refused in the first place. Which only made you appreciate him even more as a client. The only reason you agreed was to gather more money for your sister’s surgery. Unfortunately, her health was degrading every week, and you could not wait any longer. You needed as much money as possible to make it happen. As you were about to hop on stage, your manager seized your hand. "Yes?"

"At 3:00 a.m., you have a private session until closing time."

"Okay, how many clients?"

"One. He paid very well, so he gets Shiny Kay for the night." He explained with a vicious grin on his face. To avoid showing how disgusted you were with his words, you walked straight to the stage to do your job.

As you were performing like you usually do, your heart almost stopped when you noticed the famous pair of brown eyes intensely staring at you. Suddenly, you found the link. Lewis was the client who paid a good sum of money for a very long private session. Deep inside, you prayed for the time to pass so you could be alone with Lewis, who had more consideration for you than anybody else in the room. Around 02:30 a.m., one of the girls approached you on stage, always dancing, and said, "The manager wants to talk to you. Apparently, your neighbor called." Each time your neighbors called, it only meant one thing. Without thinking twice, you discreetly abandoned the stage to go to the manager. "Did somebody call?" You asked with fear in your voice. "Sit down for a minute." By the way, his tone was softer, you knew that he had no good news to tell you.

"It’s your sister. She’s been transferred to the hospital because she's having difficulties breathing." At that moment, your heart jumped in your chest. "Fuck! Which hospital? I need more information."

"Well, it’s the same hospital that called last time. Apparently, they plugged her into the breathing apparatus." You let out a loud sigh before rubbing your face, trying your best not to cry in your boss’ office. "Can I leave earlier to go to the hospital, please? I’m the only person she has." Your manager raised one hand in the air, stopping you from developing your point. "You know damn well you can’t leave. If you truly love your sister, you should stay to get your money so you can finally pay for her damn surgery. I’m not letting our VIP client down." Nine times out of ten, you tried your best to control your mouth, but this time, you had enough.

"Are you serious? My sister’s life is more important than your VIP client." You spat, giving him a dark stare. The man in front of you looked at you up and down. "If you want to even be able to pay for your sister’s medicine, you better do what I say." He murmured in a humiliating tone, like he usually does to humble you. Without saying another word, you got up and left his office. The only idea in your mind was to get your phone and call the hospital to get as much information as you could. Your thirty minutes of absence would cost you a good amount of money, but you could not care less. You needed to know how your sister was doing. After ten long minutes of waiting, they finally handed you one of the doctors. "I don’t think it’s a good idea to speak about your sister’s situation over the phone."

"I’m at work. I can’t leave. Please, doctor. I need to know."

"Okay, but before we move on, someone needs to come to pay the hospital bill."

"I will. I’ll be there tomorrow with the money." You replied, panicked at the realization that all the money you saved for the surgery would go into another hospital bill. Which means that you would have to work even harder and longer as a striper. A career you hoped to quit one day.

"Mrs.YLN, your sister’s lungs are seriously damaged due to her disease. Without surgery, I’m not sure she’ll survive for that long."

"How much time do you give her?"

"Six months, maximum a year." Your heart broke as your entire body froze. There was no way you could live without your sister. Not when she was the only family member you had left after your parents tragically died in a car accident. "How much is the surgery again?"

”The total is 100 000$. That price includes surgery, various treatment, and hospital fees.” You let out a despairing sigh at the sound of the amount. "Mrs. YLN?"

"Yeah, I’m going to do my best to gather the money as soon as possible."

"Don’t you have insurance, or have you tried to borrow it from the bank?" Who did he think you were? Of course, you tried to find solutions, but nothing was enough. Saving for the surgery was not the only financial burden you had. In the meantime, you had to pay bills, pay the rent, and, most importantly, pay for your sister's medical assistance and medicine. Even if his suggestions pissed you off, you decided to keep calm. "Well, my insurance isn’t covering that, and the banks aren’t really willing to help."

"Good luck, then. For now, don’t worry. Your sister is stable." He replied, trying his best to reassure you. "Thank you, doctor. Have a nice evening."

After you hung up, you sat down in front of your mirror. Wondering how you could gather such an amount of money in less than six months? Taking a second job would not help because it would not pay enough money to sustain every expense. Tears rolled down your face as you stared at your sister’s picture. She was way too young to die. The universe could not do that to you. As you sobbed, Scarlett entered the room and rubbed your back. "I heard about your sister. I’m so sorry. I wish I could lend you some money, but I need to take care of my kids too."

"I know Scarlett. It’s okay." Of course, your evil manager could not keep his mouth shut about your situation. As the blond-eyed woman was about to speak, the manager entered the room and urged her to go back on stage. "Please, let me go. I’ll make it up to you. I just don’t feel like performing for three hours straight." He giggled while playing with his beard.

"How are you going to make it up to me, Kay? How?" He shouted, which made you jump.

"I’m not going to reimburse the client because of your personal issues." He stopped before grabbing your jaw. "You’re not the only one with problems. What you’re going to do is perform like the pro and shining star you are, okay? If you decide to go anyway, don’t fucking bother to come back tomorrow. You heard me?" He spat while you nodded out of fear. Losing your current job would clearly not help your situation. Your manager released your jaw before patting the top of your head. "Good girl." After enduring those types of situations for years, you became incapable of crying. So you dried your tears before rearranging your makeup. "Kay, it’s 3:00 a.m. Show time!" Your manager shouted from the corridor. One last check in the mirror, and you walked toward the room without ever turning back to look at your boss.

****

Lewis brightly smiled when he saw you enter the room. "Hey, Shiny Kay. My favorite one." Usually, you would have grinned or teased, but not today. Your thoughts and mind were completely somewhere else. "Good evening, Lewis. What can I do for you today?" You asked coldly. Lewis was surprised at your reaction because, in his memory, the last meeting ended pretty well. " Hum. Did I do something wrong, Kay?"

"Nothing. I just want to do my job. Not reply one million questions." You responded pretty aggressively. After taking a deep breath, you said, "Last time was cool, but not normal. Let’s keep it professional, okay?" Lewis stayed calm and collected, knowing that something might have happened to you. Your energy was too different than the one you displayed two weeks ago.

"Did something happen? I saw you leave the stage and never come back. Did you get into trouble?"

"Lewis, I’m begging you, stop it. No, it’s not about last time. Now, can we focus on what you actually paid for?" Seeing how tensed and nervous you looked, Lewis preferred to cut it short.

"Do your thing." He simply whispered while making himself comfortable on the sofa.

When the music started, you did what you usually do: focus on the music, uniting your body in harmony with the various melodies. At first, you mainly focused on dancing on and around the pole. It all changed when you noticed, by the look in his eyes, how much he wanted you near him. Even if you wanted to cry, you would stay focused in the hope of getting a good envelope to help your sister. Lewis was surprised to see how sexier the moves were compared to last time. How you were more touchy, how you stripped off quicker than last time. By the look in his eyes, you could tell that he was intrigued. His eyes were intensely focused on your fingers, which slowly removed your bra to free your pierced nipples. Once you were topless, you hopped on his lap and started to grind and twerk on him. The frustration and anger boosted your confidence to the point where you took Lewis’ hands and placed them on your naked back. When you wrapped your arms around him to grind harder, he gripped your hips to stop you. The action forced you to stare into his eyes, which was a mistake.

The second he saw your eyes, he could read an even deeper despair and sadness. Intense emotions you were trying to hide by being overly sexual. "Talk to me." You threw your head back in frustration. "Let me do my job."

"Well, I don’t want you to dance for me anymore. I want to talk to you." If Lewis tried to piss you off, he was doing very well. His thumbs slowly made their way to your jaw, gently caressing it. Due to what happened earlier, the simple touch caused a certain pain, which caused you to brush Lewis’ hand off.

"Are you hurt? What happened?" Suddenly, you jumped off his lap and stood up. "What do you fucking want from me? Why are you so interested in my life?" You exploded as tears started to roll down your face. That’s when Lewis understood that something was indeed wrong. He immediately got up, wrapped a hand around your waist before leading you to the sofa. As your sobs intensified, he put his jacket around you so you could cover your body. "Kay, if there’s something wrong, talk to me. If you don’t feel like it tonight, it’s okay. I can leave."

"My boss is going to fire me. I need to stay until the end."

"What if I lie about having a meeting? I won’t ask the money back." You shook your head at his naiveté.

"It’s not how it works around here." You whispered, looking down. "Is the boss treating you like shit?"

"I can’t have this conversation right now. The only thing on my mind is my sister. I shouldn’t even be here." You finally confessed while playing with your thumbs. "What happened with your sister?"

After taking a deep breath, you decided to open up. You have been carrying all of this for too long. It’s not like this man is going to help you or tell it to your boss. "My sister has been fighting a lung disease since she turned fifteen. At first, my parents took care of her. Sure, we were struggling, but the bare minimum was secured. Everything changed when my parents passed away in a car accident. Leaving us alone, my sister and I, who just turned 20 years old, Of course, I had to drop out of college to find a job and pay for her medicine. The first year, we struggled a lot. I was working two jobs: one in a fast food restaurant and the other as a bottle girl in a nightclub. However, I wasn’t making enough money to cover her medicine, rent, food, gas, and every other necessity. We struggled more as the months passed. One day, I talked with one of my colleagues at the club. She’s the one who suggested I get into stripping. So when I turned 21, I became a stripper. I started at the bottom to get here, one of the most elitist strip clubs. I worked all those years to cover the bills, her medicine, and saving for a lifesaving surgery. The plan was to follow its journey until today. My sister has been hospitalized due to breathing difficulties. Which means that the money I saved will pay the hospital bill. The only problem is that I only have six months to one year to find the money for the surgery. Otherwise, she won’t be able to make it." You explained while your voice broke at the end.

Lewis pulled you onto his chest so you could peacefully cry on him. "You’re so strong."

"I don’t have the choice, Lewis." He nodded while gently rubbing your arm. A moment of silence followed before Lewis said, "I’ll help you." Out of surprise, you rose from your position and stared at him curiously. "No, I refuse. I’ll never be able to pay you back. It’s not happening."

"I don’t want you to pay me back." You furrowed your brows. "Why are you willing to help me? I mean, you don’t know me. I could lie to get more money." Lewis continuously rubbed your shoulder. "I know you’re not lying. I could read the sadness in your eyes the moment you entered the room."

"I refuse. It’s too much. If you truly want to help me, tip me more. I just can’t randomly accept $100,000 from a stranger." Lewis chuckled. "Tips won’t get you there fast enough."

"I refuse your help. I’m serious." The trust issued to you would never allow you to take his money and run with it. "Is there anyone else who can help?" You shook your head.

"Can we change subject, please?" Lewis nodded while his thumbs caressed your shoulders.

"What were you studying before?"

"Hum. Biology. I wanted to be in labs. I’ve always been passionate by science." Lewis smiled at your reply. He felt a bit sad that you had to abandon your studies. "Would you like to go back to school one day?"

"Of course I’d love to, but I can’t dream about it right now. As long as my sister’s situation isn’t getting better, there’s nothing I can dream about."

"You shouldn’t give up on your dreams. Believe in yourself and keep a positive attitude. Something might change in your life." You giggled at his advice. "You’re so cute with your positivity."

"Why would you -" You cut him off by putting your index finger on his lips. "Please. I appreciate the good intentions, but I don’t want to hear it now." He nodded before you removed your finger. As you did so, Lewis caught your hand and caressed it. "You deserve so much better." Despite your desire to remove his hands from yours, you stayed still. Enjoying the warmness of his palms and the tenderness of his gesture. The two of you never broke the intense eye contact initiated minutes ago.

Within seconds, Lewis face was just right in front of yours. "What do you want from me?" You murmured in the lowest tone. "I wish I could reply. I’m just drawn to you. I can’t explain."

"You’re playing with fire."

"I’m not afraid of fire." You snorted as he placed his other hand on your cheek, rubbing it. It was only with his touch that you realized how much you missed receiving romantic affection. As the confident man he was, Lewis approached his face to the point where your lips almost brushed against one another. "Can I kiss you, angel?" The fact that he considered asking before doing anything turned you on. He was very different from the usual type of client. As a reply, you pushed your lips against his, capturing them for a passionate and lustful kiss. The slight hesitation during the first seconds vanished, which made Lewis move his other hand to your free cheek to deepen the kiss. You could already tell that it was the best kiss you've ever had. The way your lips moved in synch as if they belonged together sent shivers through your body. Suddenly, you decided to climb on his lap and insert your tongue inside his mouth.

The small moans you let out added heat to the moment. Lewis left your face to grab your now-naked butt, rubbing and massaging it. At the feeling of your thong getting wetter, you knew that you had to stop before you made another mistake. The same one you had done years ago. Lewis gasped when you pulled away. Both of your lips were swollen. "We should stop. I don’t sleep with my clients." The beautiful man in front of you raised his hands in the air. "True. Sorry, I just got lost in you for a minute."

"Shiny Kay effect." The two of you shared a laugh, not caring about the position you were actually in. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders as he secured your waist with his arms. If you moved too much, you would probably feel his crotch. Weirdly, you felt comfortable staying in that position with him. He was the first one to break the ice by starting a random conversation. A discussion that turned into discussions until the time for you to split ways. As per usual, Lewis made sure to leave a very good tip—more than what he left last time. The only difference is that he wrote his number on a small piece of paper, discreetly hidden in the envelope. "Call me, Kay. I still want to help you." A smile appeared on your face as you prepared to go home.

****

It’s been three weeks, and you still have not reached out to Lewis. Visiting your sister at the hospital and discussing with the doctors made you realize that you should not entertain a man. Instead, you should do everything in your power to find the money for the surgery. The kiss you shared often came to mind, especially when you had to dance and perform for creeps and ugly men. His warm palms, his smell, his soft lips, the way he kissed you, the way he grabbed your body—every detail warmed your entire body with desire. That is why you should avoid him at all costs. You did not trust yourself to keep your composure and not sleep with him. You already knew the consequences of that mistake, and you refused to relive it. For now, Lewis has proven to be a good man, but who tells you that he won’t change after getting some from you?

As you were about to get on stage, the boss placed himself in front of you. Immediately, your heart started to race faster, and you wondered what you could possibly have done these past few weeks. Through your tensed body language, he knew that you feared one of his temper tantrums. "Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong. I just wanted to tell you that you're going into the private salon for a private session." You furrowed your brows at his words. "Wait, what? I need the stage money too, and you know it."

"The amount he paid is more interesting than whatever you can earn on stage." You let out an annoyed sigh. Whatever he paid would never replace the money you made on stage. Not when you were only earning 40% of the private session money. "Room 3. I don't know what you're doing, but keep it going. It looks like he truly appreciates you."

Hearing those words made you understand that Lewis was the one who booked you for the entire evening. Sure, you were reassured and happy, but at the same time, you would have preferred to avoid the man. Especially after the deep conversations you had two weeks ago. Not to mention the kiss and make-out session. Without another word, you stormed to the room where Lewis was waiting for you, sat with your legs open. "Good evening, Lewis. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I’m intrigued by your behavior. Why have you never called back?"

"I don’t want to make a mistake. Last time, I was already out of line. Why would you torture yourself? You can't have me. Get over it. Take the L and move on. I know you’re not used to it, but it is what it is."

"Are you scared? If you worry about him, he doesn't have to know what's going on in the room."

"True, but he’s not my worry."

”What is it?"

"Trust me, we're good. I'm ready for the show." You rolled your eyes at him and changed the music.

"Angel, you look incredible in that set."

"Thanks, Lewis." You replied while turning around the pole and grinding on it. As per usual, Lewis intensely stares at each movement and centimeter of skin. "Don't take the lingerie off." He said while he noticed how fast the sparkly diamonds set were thrown around the room. As you swayed your hips, you approached Lewis, who bit his lips at your little show. Something urged you to skip the teasing part and settle on his lap. Lewis wrapped his arms around your waist while you kept grinding on him, trying to feel the member that drove your colleagues crazy. The fact that you lost your senses the second he laid eyes on you was scary. You could not explain why you were so attracted to and intrigued by this man, and you hated it.

"You’re playing a dangerous game, angel."

"I like danger, Lewis." You whispered as you rubbed his thighs. Lewis wasted no time and grabbed you by the waist before laying you on the couch. He put himself on top of you, his chains dangling on your chest. Without realizing it, you opened your legs, allowing him to rest between them. Lewis leaned until his face was a few inches from yours. "Can I kiss you, angel?" At the sight of his lips, you took the lead and captured his lips. Lewis groaned at the contact of your lips. The kiss was full of lust and desire, more intense than last time. The type of kiss that provoked feelings you hadn’t felt for years. Before he could ask anything else, you cut him off. "I want you."

Contrary to last time, there was no hesitation. The two of you got closer, knowing what would happen next. You were the one to initiate the kiss by brushing your lips against his own. Lewis groaned at the feeling of your soft lips against his. He had been craving that moment for weeks. Last time, was not enough. He needed more of you. The tender kiss changed into a lustful, sinful one when you slid your tongue into his mouth. ”Hmmm,” you moaned while he took a handful of your ass. The more you kissed, the more you could feel his hardness growing against your thighs and core.

"We shouldn't do that, Lewis."

”I thought you liked danger?"

”I do, but you're still a client. A very sexy and fine one, but I can't sleep with you."

"No one will know except the two of us." Lewis was turned on by the forbidden aspect of the eventual intercourse. "It'll be our little secret." Lewis always proved himself. He was a good man. Not the type to run his mouth around while he knew about your situation. Maybe your horniness was taking the wheel for you. Whatever the reason, no one and nothing can stop you from getting Lewis.

"Come on, I can feel how hot and wet you are throughout my pants." You giggled before whispering, "Make the danger worth it, then.” Lewis had a subtle smirk on his face. He knew that he would drive you crazy, ruin any other guy for you, give you groundbreaking orgasm. Lewis grabbed your ass before laying you down on the red velvet sofa. He then took his shirt off, giving you a chance to admire his beautiful athletic body. "Wow. You have a great body." Your hands wandered all over his torso and back and stopped at his biceps, palming every parcel of the body that could have been crafted by the Greek gods. Lewis kissed your lips once again before sucking on your neck. "No hickeys, please. Also, my boss can’t hear me. Otherwise, I’m in big trouble." The more you waited, the more your horniness increased.

"You need to stay quiet, then." He replied by sucking on your pierced nipples. The contact of his warm tongue made you throw your head back. "Shit!" The feel of his hardness made you squirm in anticipation. You could not wait to have it inside of you.

He smiled while pulling on your thong that ended up on the floor, putting an end to the lovely frictions against your clit. "Have you ever had your pussy eaten?" The idea of it came into your mind multiple times, but most men you slept with didn't feel like eating you out. "Never."

"What a bunch of idiots! A beautiful woman like you should have her pussy feasted on. I'm going to rectify it. Open your legs, angel.” Without hesitating, you opened your legs wide enough to give him access to your heated core. Seeing such a beautiful man right in front of your pussy could have been enough to send you off. Lewis wasted no time and took a lick of your slick folds. "Ugh." You moaned while throwing your head back and scratching the couch. "It's nothing, baby." The beautiful man used two fingers to part your lips. He smiled before passing his warm tongue over your lips. "You taste so good, baby."

The feeling of having a tongue down there, drove you crazy. To stop your own moans, you covered your mouth while Lewis' tongue wandered all over your lips and around your clit. When he noticed how you arched your back the second he played around your clit, he wrapped your legs around his neck. The new angle allowed him to explore more parts with his tongue. The tip of his nose bumped against your clit as you squirmed under him. You could tell that he knew the woman's body by the way he confidently licked, sucked, and slurped while maintaining intense eye contact.

When he started to suck on your clit, you pulled on his braids, freeing his brain from the hair tie. The view of his braids falling down on his face had your walls throbbing. The sensations were getting overwhelming. Your orgasm was building up, tugging at your entire body. The moans as he sucked on your swollen bud was the ultimate weakness. The pressure in the pit of your stomach, your uncontrollable shaking legs, the growing pleasure on your core and clit almost became unbearable. The sight of Lewis staring right at you as he passionately ate you out was all it took to send you over the edge."Mmhhppp." You firmly applied pressure to your hand to cover the scream you almost let out when you squirted in his face. ”Damn, angel.”

After you collected your calm and thoughts back, you said, ”Sorry, I forgot to tell you. It was just so good that..." Lewis giggled before smashing his lips against yours. The taste of your juice was still fresh on his tongue. "I could eat your pussy for hours."

”I wouldn’t mind, but I need more." Lewis smirked as he lowered his pants and boxers. Your eyes widened at the sight of his hardness. You licked your lips, anticipating it inside of you or in your mouth. ”Can I suck it?” Those words made his dick throb. ”Chill, angel. Not today, I don’t want to finish in that beautiful mouth. ”On your four.” You did so without thinking. ”I hope you have condoms. If not, it’s not happening.”

”Don’t worry about that, angel.” Even if a part of you wanted to feel it all, you were no fool. You would never allow a man who is not your boyfriend to fuck you raw. Especially not this caliber of men. However, the sight of his member made you reconsider your thoughts for a second. You half turned your head, impatient to be filled.

After wrapping the condom around himself. He teased you with his tip by brushing it against your lips and clit. "Lewis, please. Don’t tease." Without a warning, he slowly pushed himself inside of you, deliciously stretching you out. "Oh fuck! You're stretching me out so well, baby. Fuck!" You moaned in the most desperate voice. "It's so big, I'm full.”

"Hmm. Oh fuck!" You whispered as he pulled out before reentering you from behind. ”It feels so good.Fuck!” The small moans that escaped your mouth could not be held. You were overwhelmed by the stretch and fullness. "Please, move.”Lewis grabbed your hips as he started to move slowly inside of you, rolling his hips from time to time. When he noticed how desperate you were, how you moaned louder each time. He covered your mouth with his hand, no one could hear you.

"You fit me like a glove, fuck baby." You turned your head to the side to see him. You wanted to see the faces he made while going at it. Even if he started slowly, the rhythm increased each time, which made you moan louder against his palms. His strokes hit the perfect spot, and the fullness intensified those sensations. "You hear how wet you are, angel? All of that for me, fuck. Naughty girl!” You held on to the couch to not lose your balance. Despite his hand covering your mouth, the moans, groans and claps were still audible. "You're gripping me, baby fuck." You understood better why all those girls were obsessed with him. His sex game was A1. When you tried to meet his rhythm by throwing it back at him, he gripped your hips harder, refraining from any moves. "Take it, baby. Take it for me."

"Ugh. Lewis. Please." His thumb slid inside your mouth for a moment. The minute after, you felt at the wet thumb teasing your back door. "How about I fuck that ass next time?"

"Please." The clenching started as your legs shook. "I'm coming, Lewis."

"Yeah, angel, let it go for me." You put one hand on your own mouth to stop the scream that wanted to escape. One more time, you coated him with your juices as you clenched tightly around him. ”Fuuuuuck! Kay!” He moaned, spreading his seed in the condom. You collapsed on your stomach when he pulled out, leaving you clenching around nothing. A laugh escaped your mouth as you looked at him collecting his breath. "It’s the best sex I had. Thank you, Lewis.”

"No, thank you, angel. You felt so good. One of the best pussy I had.” He whispered before capturing your lips. The two of you cuddled on the velvet sofa after the steamy sex, talking about various subjects and sharing many jokes. What surprised you was how he could make you forget about your troubles for a few hours. He was like a toxin you ignored, you needed. When the time came, you made sure to put your thong back on before exiting the room. Your boss could not find out what you had just done. Not when you were so loud about not sleeping with your clients. Once again, a smirk covered your face when you counted the money Lewis left you that night. It looked like he really wanted to help you with your issue. In less than a month, you've already collected $30,000 thanks to him. You took your phone out and entered his number in your contacts before sending him a message.

"I opened the envelope, and I want to thank you for your help. It truly means a lot to me, Lewis."

"Hey Kayla, welcome. I know what it means to you. Good night, angel."

These two texts were the beginning of back-and-forth conversations with Lewis. The more you exchanged with him, the more you appreciated him. For once, someone truly cares about you and your situation. He would often ask how you were doing, how your sister who was still in the hospital, was doing, and how your day was. Even if you enjoyed reading Lewis’ texts, you were no fool. You knew that you had to protect your heart from being hurt again. Therefore, you started to distance yourself more. To your surprise, he always tried to reach out or get some news, which confused you even more. To this day, you cannot tell what Lewis truly wants from you. At first, you thought that he only wanted to sleep without. However, your perception started to change as he kept talking to you even after. Maybe he just wanted a second round after all. Only the future will tell.

Three days later, when you arrived at work, your boss called you into his office. You ignored why, but you sincerely hoped that he would not find out about your escapades with Lewis. To your surprise, many designer boxes were lying on his table. The sight of it annoyed you to the highest point. If it were not for you, he would have never been able to afford all those things. Your boss, Travis, gave you a curious look before displaying his teeth with one of the brightest smiles you have seen.

"Have I done something wrong?" He shook his head, inviting you to sit down.

"Not at all. Look at the gifts around you. One of our clients was so satisfied with your performance that he decided to send you multiple gifts. He even included one for me. I just wanted to give you your due and congratulate you for your hard work." You replied with a fake grin as you stared at the boxes. "The other girls aren’t going to be pleased, so I advise you to come pick them up after your shift."

You nodded, thanked him, and exited the room, feeling more confused than ever. Even though your boss could not tell the name of the generous client, you already knew that Lewis was behind all of it. Why did he feel the need to send those gifts? As you both agreed the first time you met, you were not an escort. Why would he send you luxury gifts right after you slept with him?

Nothing changed that night. The second you step foot on the stage, your only focus was music and moves. Each night, you danced like your life depended on it, trying to collect as many dollars as you could. The only thing on your mind at the moment was collecting the money to offer your sister a better life. Since you were one of the best dancers in the club, you often had private sessions with clients right after, which took a lot of time and increased the money of the night. At the end of your shift, you let out a loud sigh, drained by the job and the various burdens you had to carry. Your wandering mind went back the luxury boxes waiting in your boss's office. Once you dressed up, you walked to his office to collect the six boxes that had your name written on them. The last box was a pair of Balenciaga shoes for Travis, your boss. A very smart idea. At least he would not have suspicions about the nature of your relationship with Lewis. You silently collected your boxes and went home. As you drove all the way home, your thoughts kept wondering why Lewis gifted you luxury items you did not need, like an escort. A nauseous feeling took over your body as you looked at the various boxes. The more you thought about it, the more the gifts felt like a slap in the face. In his eyes, you were another girl he could pay to mess with, a fact that did not sit right with you.

After gathering some strength, you chose to open up the boxes and see their contents. Maybe you could sell some items to make money for the surgery. A gasp escaped each time you opened a box. Every one of them contained iconic items from prestigious luxury houses. A product for each category: leather goods, watches, jewelry, shoes, clothing, and lingerie. Obviously, you would keep the lingerie and shoes for work. Probably the only items you would keep. Even if you truly liked the watch, necklace, and clothing, your financial needs would not allow you to keep them. Selling them out would definitely help you reach your goals. As you were about to close the shoe box, a brown envelope fell to the ground. You furrowed your brows before collecting it.

The envelope contained $5,000 in cash. You checked your surroundings before taking a deep breath. The pair of shoes did not even matter. Only the cash did. The money that would get you closer. Even if you were happy to get that kind of money, a wave of disgust swept through your body. It felt like he was paying you for the sexual encounters you had, making you feel like a prostitute. You thought that he genuinely enjoyed the moment as much as you did. Apparently, that was not the case. He probably viewed you as another girl he needed to pay to have sex with. You took your phone out and decided to call him. After numerous and endless rings, you decided to leave a message. "Lewis, it’s Kayla. I don’t know if I should thank you for the gifts because I kind of feel like I sold my pussy. I didn’t have sex with you to pay for my sister’s surgery or even to get gifts. I was just attracted to you. Anyway, for you, I’m probably another pussy on the list. Don’t ever reach out or try to book a private session. I’m done. Also, what the fuck were you thinking about when you sent the boxes to the club? You’re going to get me into trouble for no reason. Anyway, bye ,Lewis.” You spat and threw your phone on the sofa. The next morning, you were even more disappointed when you realized that Lewis had listened to your message but never replied. Out of anger, you clicked on his contact and blocked him. He was just like the previous asshole you slept with. Unfortunately, you let your guard down way too soon. However, you were thankful because this time you got something out of it. Some money to help your sister.

****

Tonight, you decided to baptize the pair of Louboutins Lewis gifted you and the lingerie set that goes with them. You internally felt like a sex empress with those high heels on your feet. The neon lights came into your eyes, signaling your body that it was time to make money. As you were about to walk on stage, your boss stopped you. "Shiny Kay, private session right after until closing hours." You nodded and walked confidently on stage until you arrived at the pole. The same pair of brown eyes that drew you last time did so once again. Did he not get the message? You do not want to see him again. Your brain did the math pretty quickly. He was probably the client who asked for a very long private session right after. That night, you dance, not only for the money but also to show him what he has lost by playing the fool. If he had acted right, you would have laid eyes on him again. The memories of last time always sparked a certain heat in your body. Even if you hated his guts, you needed to admit that he knew how to please a woman. However, you would not let your sexual desire stop you from seeing the big picture.

Your heart raced faster as your blood boiled at the idea of seeing him again. Not only did he treat you like a prostitute, but he also crossed your boundaries by coming here while you clearly told him not to. The same invasive wave of heat ravished you when your eyes landed on Lewis. That man knew what he was doing when he came in here with his abs out. You gulped, determined not to flinch despite the urging desire to sit on his lap and ride him.

"Lewis." You coldly greeted him, standing against the wall. "Kayla." He whispered with his eyes on you. "What are you doing here? Have you not listened to my message?"

”Receiving orders isn’t my forte, angel."

"Don’t call me like that." He smiled, never breaking eye contact. "There are so many talented strippers here. Why me, Lewis? You got what you wanted. You should move on."

"Kay, if I knew that those gifts would have offended you the way they did, I would never have made that move. I’m sorry."

"What the fuck, Lewis? I’ve been clear the previous times. I’m not doing sexual favors in exchange for money. What do you do right after we fuck? You send money and gifts. How do you think it was okay?"

"Am I a bad guy for wanting to help you? When you brought up your sister's situation, I just couldn’t stand there and keep it moving. You don’t want my help, so I had to find another way. Also, you look delicious in that set and those heels. I’ve made a great choice.” He whispered licking his lips. You gave him a bad stare as you walked to the pole. "I know you sold those gifts. How much do you need to reach your goal?"

"I don’t want anything from you except to be treated with respect.”

"If I didn’t treat you as such, I wouldn’t be here tonight." You let out an annoyed sigh.

”Why have you never replied?"

"I wanted to have this conversation face-to-face. I never wanted to send the wrong message."

"Why do you want to help me so badly? This is what I don’t understand. You’re rich, beautiful, and successful. Why help a woman like me? Shit, you already slept with me. What would you gain from helping me?”

"I like you." That sentence sounded too familiar. It was the same one you heard after sleeping with one of your clients, right before he ghosted you when you admitted liking him in return. You knew better than to fall into this trap. An uncontrollable laughter got the best of you. "Do you like me or my pussy? If you liked me, you would have replied to my message."

”As I said, I’m not having serious conversations through texts.” You rolled your eyes at him, looking at the pink neon light in front of you. "If you say so, I guess. Of course, what do you want for today?"

"I wanted to see you. I can't get you out of my mind."

"Stop lying to get laid. It's annoying." You groaned with another eye roll. "It's not my type. You know it. Why would I do that when I can get laid with no effort? It’s ridiculous."

"Who knows? I don't truly know you."

"Well, you could have known me better if you didn’t play push and pull when we texted." A silence settled in while Lewis walked toward you. His thumbs rubbed your cheek as you looked away. "You need to stop and leave me alone. You’re going to get me into trouble."

"What type of trouble?"

"Well, my boss, the girls. They’re already suspicious. The boss had to hide the boxes to avoid causing jealousy in the locker room."

"Reason why you should enjoy the attention even more, angel."

"I was dead serious, Lewis. No more random gifts, private sessions, or whatever."

"Are you going to be mad at me forever?"

"I should." You replied, taking a glimpse of his visible abs. The position you were in fueled the sexual desire you had. Him trapping you against the wall created a desire to experiment. The more you stared at him, the more it became impossible to resist the intense orgasms he could offer.

"Kiss me." You finally whispered in defeat. Lewis smiled before grabbing your cheek and crushing his lips against yours. As the kiss intensified, you felt Lewis’ other hand making its way to your thong to toy your clit. "Ugh. Fuck! I need more."

"You'll have more, angel." You threw your head back as his fingers entered you. The more his fingers curled inside of you as he rubbed your clit, the harder it was for you to focus on the kiss. "You're already wet, fuck." Your hands left his cheek to unbutton his shorts and remove his bottoms. You salivated at the sight of his semi-hard member in his boxers. Without waiting, you freed his member and gently caressed the tip with your thumb. ”Oh, angel, dancing isn't your only talent."

"I know." You replied, giggling and biting your lips. The anger you had against him was long gone, replaced by a burning desire. Lewis suddenly caught your hand to stop the movements. "I’m a gentleman. I’m not cumming in your hand." You smiled, brushing your lips against his for another kiss. Lewis’ impatience took over as he pressed his lips on yours. The thong, ruined and coated with juices, did not last long on your body. "Turn around." He spoke in a deeper tone than usual, one full of lust.

You placed your hands on the wall in front of you, excited for his next move. Lewis smacked your ass three times, harder at each slap, before teasing your entrance with his tip. "Please, Lewis. I need you." He giggled before slowly pushing himself inside of you. The feeling of fullness made you moan loudly as Lewis groaned, perfectly enveloped by your warm and wet pussy. "Damn. This is better than my memories." The delicious stretch already had you rolling your eyes in pleasure. Of course, Lewis started moving at a steady rhythm, which made you bite your lips to stop a loud moan. "Don't be shy. Fuck me. Hard and slow." Lewis slowed down the rhythm to follow your desire. Feeling the stretch, veins, and fullness at each stroke almost made you scream. To muffle your moans, you placed your hand on your mouth. Lewis slapped your behind at the sight of you trying your best to stop the noises. "I wish they could hear how good I'm making you feel."

Despite the intense pleasure both of you shared, he wanted more. He needed to see the face you make when he slams into you. "I'm so full, fuck!" You moaned between your teeth as he fully pushed himself inside of you. Out of nowhere, he pulled out, leaving you clenching around nothing. "Look at you clenching, desperate for me." He whispered in your ear before smacking your ass multiple times. He turned you around when he saw your wetness pooling between your thighs. "I want to see your face when you cum."

Lewis took one of your legs and wrapped it against his waist before plunging inside of you again. You scratched his back to tame the urge to scream his name. Letting the world know that he made you feel that good. The more he moved, the more you clenched around him. "I won't last." You murmured between your teeth. After a few more strokes, he could feel that you were on the edge. You were pulsing and tightening around him. "Lewis! Please don’t stop." With a grin on his face, he pulled out and turned you around so your hands were on the wall again. As you were about to complain, he kissed and sucked on your neck while his hands played with your pierced nipples.

"I know you want to cum, but you have to forgive me." He whispered in your ear while he applied more and more pressure to your hard and sensitive nipples. "Lewis, please. I need you."

"If you need me, say you forgive me, angel." He replied, massaging your boobs like no one had before, not even yourself. You hated how your body betrayed you in such a manner. It was obvious that you would tell him the words because you wanted to come. After all, you were already deep into it, right? You even let him fuck you raw while it was out of the equation last month. "I forgive you." Once the small whimper slipped from your lips, Lewis captured your lips for a hot kiss. You moaned in his mouth as his other hand rubbed your clit. "I’ll show you how sorry I am, angel."

As he finished his sentence, he got on his knees and alternated sucking on your clit and lips. "Leeewwwiiss! Please." You pleaded as the level of horniness slowly became painful. "Trust me, angel." He replied as his mouth left your core and spread your cheeks. As you were going to complain, you felt his warm tongue teasing your backdoor. The new sensation made you squirm and rest your head against the wall. "Want more, angel?" You whispered a weak yes, allowing him to continue teasing your behind. The warmness of his tongue, the pressure applied—all those new sensations unlocked a new level of pleasure. You closed your eyes, enjoying the brand new sensation that pushed your body closer each time. A crushing orgasm washed over you when his fingers found their way back inside of you. The combination of both created a new bliss. You tried to stay on your trembling legs. Lewis pulled back when you squirted, wetting half of his face and the red moquette at your feet.

When Lewis stood up, you took his head and led him to the sofa, where you pushed him in order to finish him with your mouth. "Fuuuck! Kay, you're good at this." He almost lost it when your warm mouth and plum lips enveloped him. Due to his consequent size, you took your time to be able to take as much as you could. Each time, his member went further until it reached your throat. You continued your movements, not caring about the saliva falling down your chest. Not caring about choking and watery eyes due to his significant size. At the moment, nothing could stop your desire to make him cum. Your head bobbed up and down as you tried to relax the back of your throat for him. The way you moaned all over his member only accelerated the process. Lewis’ hands found their way to your head and caressed the top of it. "Shit, Kay! I’m coming." Warm shots of cum flowed in your mouth as you freed him with a loud pop. You opened your mouth, showing him the fruit of his desire. "Kay, fuck." You giggled before swallowing it all.

Lewis helped you sit down right next to him so you could collect your breath. "It was amazing, Kay." He turned to you with a soft smile. One you avoid returning as you remembered lying about your name. "Yeah, even better than last time." A silence settled in as the two of you stared at the walls in the room. "Don’t worry, this time I won’t try to pay you."

"You better not, Lewis. I won’t give you a third chance."

"Let me help you then. Your sister needs that money. I know it’s not the most pleasant situation, but I don’t want you to lose your sister. She’s the only person you have left." You looked down, thinking about the eventuality of losing her.

"Why do you care so much?"

"I may not know you deeply, but I liked what I’ve seen. You’ve suffered enough. You deserve better. I promise, I won’t ask for anything in return. I’m not that man." A part of you wanted to give in to offer a future to your sister, but the other side was still wary. "Look, Kay. As you may know, I have a very tight schedule. So, I won’t be able to be there as much next month. I’m mostly going to race in Europe. Think about it. Do the math: is six months enough to make it? At what cost?"

Your eyes glistened with tears as you thought about the mental drain that this new goal would cause. Lewis could make your life easier in a matter of seconds. All you had to do was say yes. Was it worth the hard work, or was it just having a rich sexmate help you out? After many thoughts and a long silence, you came to the conclusion that your sister should be the top priority. Not your feelings, not your ego, just her health. "I agree." You weakly whispered, never daring to look him in the eyes. "Kay, you need to look me in the eyes. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’m the one who offered help. You never forced me." You took a deep breath before turning to Lewis.

"I agree, Lewis."

"I’ll take care of it next week, right before I leave. However, there’s one thing I want."

"There we go." You puffed while shaking your head.

"I want to hang out with you. Out of this place, obviously." A feeling of relief invaded your body at his request. Maybe he truly cared. "Let’s do it." Lewis leaned in to tenderly capture your lips. The innocent kiss soon leads you to another round of intense and steamy sex.

****

Usually, you looked forward to finishing your shift so you could peacefully go back to your life. Tonight felt different. You would get to see Lewis right after—the person you have been interacting with for a few months now. That night, your focus was definitely not on the present. The night was long. Each minute almost felt like an hour. When the final client left, you rushed to your locker to change and join Lewis, who had already sent you multiple texts.

"Hey Kay💜 waiting for you in the white Mercedes. Try to hush, please."

"Text me when you’re done so I can drive to the building. I don’t want you to be in trouble with your boss, so discretion is advised."

After reading the message, you changed, arranged your makeup, and did your hair. This time, you wanted him to see the real you. Not Shiny Kay, just you. As you perfumed yourself, Kesha, Caresha, Scarlett, and Megan entered the room with fake smiles on their faces.

"Look at Lewis’ favorite toy." They said, giggling out loud.

"I’m not his toy." Kesha rolled her eyes out of annoyance. Among them all, she was probably the most jealous. "You can lie to Travis as much as you want, but girl, you can’t fool us. We all know why he keeps coming back to you."

"Maybe because he has his preferences, who knows?" Caresha's tongue clicked as she took a deep breath. "The girl who can’t barely pay for her sister's surgery has money for a pair of Louboutins and luxury lingerie? Bitch, stop lying." You shake your head before turning around to face them.

"What you girls think about me and Lewis doesn’t matter. I just do my job. There’s nothing more there. Wherever I got the lingerie and shoes is none of your business. Point blank, period. " Scarlett scanned your appearance before smiling widely.

"Why are you dressed up at 5:00 a.m.?"

”Because I’m still allow to have private life. Mind your own business.” Kesha huffed while she sat down. "Probably selling pussy on the side. If Travis ever finds the truth, you’re fucked, and that’s your fucking problem. For someone who worries so badly about her sister, you’re compromising your chances to help her."

"Shut your mouths. Y’all know damn well y’all don’t care about my sister. You guys are just jealous because Lewis never booked you. Believe me, I know what I’m doing. Anyway, bye. I’m not wasting more time with you." After slamming your locker door, you walked out of the club, texting Lewis so he could pick you up. The second you exited the club, your eyes fell on the white Mercedes. Without thinking twice, you ran to his car and entered it as fast as you could. As you stated before, being seeing with Lewis is something you would like to avoid for now. The sound of the engine increased as he sped up, driving away from the place you hated so much.

”How are you, angel? You look angry.” He asked in the same usual soft voice while leaning to kiss your cheek. ”It’s nothing. Green light, let’s go.” When Lewis parked in front of a luxurious mansion, you understood that he had brought you to his place. Something he kept private during the entire ride. You understood that, as a famous person, he had to protect himself. Lewis wrapped his arm around your waist before guiding you inside his house. He took his time to show you every single room and ask you what you wanted to do next. "Hum. Why not chill on your patio? I just want to have a good time. I’m tired, not gonna lie."

"Okay, let’s have breakfast, then sleep and watch a movie. What do you think?"

"It’s perfect for me.” Lewis ordered a vegan breakfast from a place he knew near his home. As you enjoyed every bit of it, the two of you could not stop talking about various subjects, from the most innocent ones to the deepest ones. Sharing a laugh here and there. It felt good to be seen as a human being, not just a fantasy or sexual object. At some point, a part of you felt guilty for lying about your real name. Weirdly, your intuition was telling you that the time had not yet come. "Would you like to go back to school one day?"

"Of course. I wanted to study biology because I’ve always been obsessed with science since a very young age, according to my mom." You explained it with a sad grin. "I’m no fool. I know that for now, it’s not possible. I mean until my sister is completely healed and eventually able to work. It’s not a possibility."

"You should never give up on your dreams. Sure, your situation is pretty tough, but I’m pretty sure you’re going to find a way. We definitely need more women in science."

"Thank you, Lewis. I’m not giving up, but I also don’t want to create illusions and be disappointed by reality again." He nodded, sipping on water.

"I admire you, Kayla. You’re stronger than you think. I like how resilient, hard-working, and caring you are." A shy smile appeared on your face at those words. "Thanks for admitting that you’re obsessed with me, Lewis." The two of you shared a laugh.

"Would you like to sleep or watch the movie right now?"

"Hum. I need some sleep first." Lewis nodded before taking your hand and leading you to one of the multiple bedrooms in the villa. A moan escaped your mouth when you laid on the large and comfortable bed. "I’m going to sleep like a baby, but I need to shower first. Want to join?" You asked seductively, ignoring the tiredness that slowly consumed you. In fact, you did not mind exchanging a few hours of sleep for rounds of pleasure. "Thanks for the invitation, Kay, but I’ll have to decline. You look tired. Get some rest."

To your surprise, Lewis left you alone in the bedroom. The hopeless romantic you could be was slightly sad at the thought of not sleeping right next to him. However, the realistic side quickly jumped in. He’s not your man. He’s barely a friend. Stop getting your hopes up if you don’t want to end up heartbroken again. At that thought, you slowly undressed to jump under the luxurious shower.

****

When you first opened your eyes, your brain wondered where you were. The large bed, comparable to a five-star hotel one, surely did not belong to you. As seconds passed by, you gathered your thoughts, remembering that you were at Lewis’ place, which sounded a bit surreal. The man was supposed to be a client like everyone else, but there you were at his place after messing around with him two times. As you were about to get up, you heard the door open in the most discreet manner possible. "Hey, Lewis." You spoke in a joyful tone.

"I thought you were still asleep. Just came in to check."

"I woke up five minutes ago from a very good sleep."

"Very happy to hear that. Do you want something to eat?"

"Not really. I’d like to watch a movie with you."

"Let’s do it then."

You comfortably laid on his chest as he patted your back. The movie Coming to America played in front of you, which led both of you to share plenty of laughs. Something you needed and have not had for a moment. There was something different about Lewis that attracted you to him. You felt protected, listened to, and cared for. Nothing you experienced in your past disastrous relationships. When the movie ended, the conversation kept flowing between you. Another aspect you loved was the chemistry you had with him. How easy it was to talk about anything with him, even the things that required more vulnerability.

"Why is a man like you still single? You’re beautiful, rich, nice, good in bed, and chill. You should have been off the market a long time ago." Lewis giggled, turning his head to look at you.

"A relationship requires sacrifices and time to make it work. With the career that I have, it’s just impossible. I’m moving all the time, working on different projects, so I don’t really have the time for something serious." You nodded, understanding his choice.

"What about you, Kayla?"

"Lewis, come on." You replied with a groan. "You started the conversation, miss."

"As a sex worker, it’s very complicated to date or have a serious relationship. Most guys pretend to be okay with your job, only for you to find out that they’re jealous and insecure. Some will pretend to love or care just to sleep with you and flex about it to their friends. Yeah, I slept with a stripper. I’m the shit. I’ve been in both situations, and I don’t want it to happen again. That’s why I’d rather be single until I retire from stripping." Lewis nodded in sympathy with your struggles.

"I can only imagine how complicated it might be." You looked away, trying to brush the bad memories from your mind. Lewis noticed your switch and pulled you onto his chest. "When it comes to me, I’m not using you. I truly enjoy spending time with you."

"Good, it’s reciprocal." Both of you smiled at one another before you leaned in for a heated and needy kiss that led you to have sex on his couch. Once again, he made sure that you were pleased. The two of you lay on the sofa, recovering from the hot and steamy sex you just had. Even if silence ruled, it was not disturbing. This one felt comfortable and reassuring, for whatever reason. Lewis decided to break it by dropping the news. "I paid for your sister's operation." Your eyes widened while you turned your head around to face him.

"How?"

"A few calls here and there. Remember when you gave me her name because I wanted to send her a Nintendo Switch?" You furrowed your brows, not having any memories of that moment. "Kay, come on. You told me that she was bored there and asked you to find a solution." Suddenly, the memory of that conversation came back. That day, you spent an hour with Lewis on the phone. "I had her name, so it was pretty easy to arrange everything."

"Why? I already had some money saved to pay for it." You asked, resting on your elbows.

"Kay, it’s okay. Keep that money in case. You’re free of that burden. No hospital fees to pay, no surgery, no medicine. Everything has been taken care of."

"I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much, Lewis." You whispered before sobbing, like you have not done for a while. All the struggles, tears, pain, and fear of losing will soon be behind you. "The doctor should announce it today or tomorrow to announce the news. They even found a date for the surgery. Everything is going to be alright."

Lewis pulled you onto his chest and kissed your cheek. "It’s just that you’re the first person who truly cares about me since my parents passed. I mean, I have my sister, but expect her. I feel like people only stop at my profession. Stripper, sex work, so they judge me all the time or pretend to care to have sex. Thank you for not being one of them. Thank you for being a kind and genuine person, Lewis." He grinned before pecking your lips. "I got you, Kay." That time, you were the one to initiate the kiss, which led this time to a lovemaking moment.

Since Lewis announced the news, you could not wait any longer to go to the hospital. After your third round of intense sex, you decided that the time had come for you to leave. The happiness and excitement within your body would not allow you to wait. You had to visit your sister. Lewis called you a passenger car with a chauffeur. As you waited for him outside, you tightly hugged Lewis, thanking him again for his precious help. "I’ll never forget what you did for me, Lewis. Never." He patted your back with a genuine smile. "We’re good." When the car stopped in front of his house, the two of you froze, not knowing how to say goodbye to one another. Sure, you were intimate with him, but your relationship was still very blurry. To avoid wasting more time, you simply kissed his cheek before waving at him. As the car drove away from his house, you realized that you really started to like him. Not because he helped you out, but for who he was. Hopefully, you will get to explore more in the future.

****

Two weeks later…

Since that magical day with Lewis, your life has improved. The day you visited your sister was also the day the doctors announced that they would operate the following week. Obviously, the smile on her face at that moment had no price. The two of you shed a few tears of joy. After years of struggles and hopes, she would finally get to live a better life. An information you transmit to Lewis through text. "I’m so happy for you. Everything will be fine, believe me.💜"

Like every surgery, this one included certain risks. The type that you could not ignore or minimize, which added additional stress to your life. A nerve-wrecking moment in which Lewis supported you despite the distance. At this point, you could clearly call him a friend. The one friend you never had. The day of the surgery, you took a day off. In your mind, there was no way you could be working while they were performing surgery on your sister, the only person you had left on this planet. You spent the entire day in the hospital waiting for updates. After ten hours, a doctor came to inform you that everything went well. You jumped and cried out of joy. Your sister would finally get a chance to live a normal life like everyone else. The doctors promised that she would be out after two weeks of observation. Now, you were even more thankful for Lewis action because you definitely would have struggled with the hospital bill after the surgery.

One thing about your boss, the man like to control everything single thing going on in the club. It was no secret to anybody that some girls slept with certain clients for an additional money. However, if it happened he needed to know to charge the sexual favors to the client. He would get 50% of the total amount when the girls agreed. Despite, years of trying to get you to sell additional services, you always refused. Often, you had to be the one to remind him that you were a stripper not a prostitute. That day, you peacefully arrived at work, getting ready for the stage performance. Many thoughts wandered in your mind as you applied your makeup. How your relationship with your coworker downgraded after Lewis made it clear that you were his favorite. They thought that you were sleeping with him and refused to admit it which caused troubles among the group. A fact that added to the pretty strong jealousy certain felt toward you. If they knew that you slept with him twice, you would be in big troubles.

However, the darker thoughts were overshadowed by the good ones. Your sister would finally get her surgery next month, and you spent an amazing moment with Lewis. Most of the time, you hated yourself for smiling at the thought of him like some teenage girl. One thing you would not allow yourself to do was falling in love. Sure, he helped you financially, been very attentive to you, showed many signs of affection, but you were no fool. A man like him could never date a woman like you. Your worlds were just too different to somehow come together. The boss entered the room, letting the girls know that he was here. After every girl greeted him, he urged them to go outside and go on stage. Kesha tried to respond by explaining that the other group was still on stage.

”Am I the boss or are you? Fucking go to the stage! Find a way to entertain people. Now, get the fuck out expect Kay!” The way he was shouting at everybody predicted nothing good.

”Hey, Kay.”

”Hey, Travis.” You replied calmly.

”You looked more relaxed these days. I can tell by the way you dance, the way you interact with people.” What he meant? ”Is that an issue?”

”For someone who has to find 100 000$ for her sister’s surgery, I find it suspicious.”

”Okay, what do you mean?”

”Are you messing around with Lewis Hamilton?” Your heartbeat increased as you wondered how could he possibly know. You knew that Lewis could never betray you in such a manner. Perhaps, your coworkers succeeded to convince him that you did. Whatever was the reason, you would not admit it. ”No. Why would you think that?”

”I don’t know. I’ve seen you hop in his car.” Your entire body froze, he knew and you were fucked. ”Yeah, you ain’t slick, Kay. May I also ask how on this earth your sister got her surgery when you’re not supposed to have gathered the money? How Kay?”

”Do you really think he would pay 100 000$ for sex? He can have it anywhere else and cheaper.”

Your boss walked around the locker room, probably trying to calm his nerves. Suddenly, he pushed you against a locker and gripped your jaw tightly. ”Let me go! It hurts.”

”Good. Do you really think that I’m a fucking fool, uh? What happened to I don’t sleep with my clients?” Your entire body shook in fear, knowing how your boss anger temper could hurt people. You have witnessed it with your own two eyes when he threatened Kesha and Caresha.

”May I remind you the rules? I’m the one who’s in charge of the extras. You don’t get to independently sell your pussy to the side? Heard me?” Tears fell down your cheeks as you looked at him. ”Got it. Leave my jaw, please.” He left your jaw before grabbing you by the hair. ”How much he paid you?”

”Zero. I liked him so I fucked him for free.” Travis pulled harder on your hair, forcing you to stare at him intensely. He let out a loud laugh before shaking his head. ”You bitches are fucking stupid. Do y’all really think that these men care about y’all for a second? Let me tell you something. You’re just another hoe for him. Don’t trip!” This time you were sobbing, hoping that he would let you go soon. ”Since you want to back stab me, I’ll make sure that you never see him again in this club.” He spat before releasing your hair and pushing you. ”No, please. Don’t do that.” Travis stopped in his tracks with a smirk on his face.

”So you’re really out there getting your hopes up? Stupid ass bitch! He’s coming just to get some company and pussy. Don’t think he likes you. A super successful F1 pilot with a curated image like him don’t belong with a fucking stripper. We’re in reality, not a fucking TV show or fantasy.” Travis turned his back again and threatened you, ”If you ever stab me in the back like you just did, you’re fired. You better thank God, you’re the best dancer out there.” When he left you collapsed on the floor and cried your eyes out. As replayed the entire scene in your head, you realized that the man has left bruises on your back and face.

****

Your sister was still in hospital and you were kind of thankful for it. At least, you would not have to justify yourself about your tears. The sudden vibrations of your phone made you jump. The name Lewis appeared on the screen which made your heart jump. What if Travis was right? Even if you wanted to avoid this conversation, you needed to protect yourself so you picked up.

Lewis immediately worried when he saw the tears on your face. ”Kayla, is everything okay? Did something went wrong with your sister?” You shook your head, never opening your mouth to say a word. The control freak Lewis was wanted to know what was going on for you to cry that intensely.

”Talk to me, Kayla.” You sobbed harder, as you thought about how Travis treated you.

”Kay, please.”

”I don’t want you to come to the club anymore.”

”Why?”

”Lewis, please just respect what I’m saying.” You concluded as you moved your phone to the side. A quite brutal movement that allowed Lewis to see the bruises on your face. ”Kayla? Did something happen? Why do you have bruises on your jaw?” The words stuck in your throat as you shed tears.

”Kay, talk to me.”

”I already told you what needed to be said. Just don’t come to the club anymore.”

”Did your boss find out about us?” You looked away, trying your best to fight the tears that wanted to fall down even more. After a moment of silence, Lewis insisted by calling your name in a soft voice. The pain was still too intense and fresh for you talk about it, so you just nodded.

”Fuck! What happened?”

”What do you seriously think happened? He threatened, insulted and humiliated me like a vulgar toy. I don’t want to deal with it ever again that’s why I’m asking you to never come back to the club.”

”Do you want me to deal with him? He can’t be violent with you.” As Lewis was about to add something else, you cut him off. ”Don’t get involve. I can’t afford to lose my job, Lewis.”

”Kay, he’s been violent with you.”

”Doesn’t matter. Stay out of it. If you want to see me just call me or visit me when you’re in town.” By the look on his face, you knew that he was not satisfied with your reaction. ”So we’re just going to let him get away with this?” You furrowed your brows. Deep inside, you knew that his intention were pure, but his desire to play the superhero started to get on your nerves. The situation in itself was humiliating enough.

”What’s wrong with you? I already told you that I don’t want to do anything about it. Can you respect it? What do you think I can do? I’m just a stripper working at the club. Unlike you, I have no power or money to take him down.”

”That’s why I want to help you, I’m conscious of it.” You puffed while rolling your eyes.

”As I said, I don’t want help. I wouldn’t gain anything from going after him. The only thing people will see is that I’m another hoe who slept with an athlete and this is the last thing I want for myself.”

”You need to stop calling yourself a hoe.”

”I’m not a hoe, but society views me as one. It is what it is and no sweet words coming out of your mouth will change it.” A new silence settled in, a heavy one that lasted longer than the first one. ”Look, Lewis I’m not in the mood to speak. I’ll call you back.”

”Are you mad at me for what happened?”

”Not at all. I slept with you because I wanted to. You have nothing to do with this. I knew there were risks and consequences.” He nodded, disappointed to not see the Kayla he likes.

”Before we hung up, I called because I wanted you to come with me to a party.”

”When? Where?” You nonchalantly replied.

”Los Angeles, in two weeks.”

”Hum, I’ll let you know by the end of the week. Good night, Lewis.” You hung up before he could respond. The second you were alone again, the sobs came back in full force. The humiliating images coming back to your head. The insults and mean words running back in your ears, making it even more confusing for you. What Lewis truly wanted from you? It was not a relationship and you were okay with that, but you also have no desire to be his situationship. Maybe accepting the invite would make things clearer for you.

****

Two weeks later…

Since your sister came back home, your mental health slightly improved. Knowing that she was recovering fast and well made you more than happy. However, the balance was hard to find due to your toxic work environment. A job you would have to keep in order to pay for your sister lifetime treatment. Sure, the operation allowed her to have a better life, a more regular one, but she still had to take medicine regularly to avoid a relapse. The news was not that bad, but it kind of broke your heart. Your dreams to go back to school would stay on pause for a moment.

As you put your heels on, your sister appeared in the living room. ”Wow, you look hot!”

”Where are you going?”

”To a party with a friend.” Your sister giggled while shaking her head. ”Friend. If you say so. Are we talking about the friend who paid for my surgery and sent me a Nintendo switch in hospital?” You stayed silent, knowing that your sister could read you within seconds.

”Are you guys fucking?” A nervous laugh escaped your lips as you put your keys in the clutch.

”Don’t lie to me, Y/N. Why would a random guy do that?”

”Maybe because he’s a good guy, who knows?”

”We’re not in a Disney movie. No one is that generous for no reasons. It’s either he likes you or he wants to fuck you or keep fucking you.”

”Layla.”

”What? I’m just saying. Also, I’m invest because I don’t want you to suffer like you did two years ago when that asshole played you.” The memories of that painful moment of your life left you with a frown on the face. ”I know better now. Believe me. Anyway, I need to leave. If you have any problem, please reach out.” She nodded before giving you a tight hug. ”Have fun, big Sis.”

Lewis sent a chauffeur to pick you up at your address. Apparently, no random car could have access to that neighborhood. A part of you wanted to cancel the plan and go back home. You were not the party girl type. More of a stay-at-home type. At the sound of the blasting music, you realized that there was no coming back. You were in for a night out with complete strangers. The only reason you came was to spend some time with Lewis and hopefully better understand his motivation. As you got out of the black Mercedes, you took a glimpse at the environment around you. The luxurious mansion dominated the landscape. By the number of expensive cars parked in front, you understood that you would participate in a private party full of celebrities or rich people. An environment you were not necessarily comfortable in. Not with the job and the struggles you had.

As you waited outside for Lewis to come and get you, a man approached you with whistles.

"Am I tripping, or is that Shiny Kay? One of the top-notch strippers in LA." You looked down, refusing to pay attention to his comment. "I’m talking to you, babe." This time, you had enough.

"I’m not your babe. My brother, I don’t even know you." His eyes widened in shock as you pronounced those words. Another athlete or rapper with an ego probably as huge as a crib.

"I see that you have a lil attitude. I like that. Let’s forget about the rocky start. I know we’re in here for a good time. Who blessed us with your presence?"

"I’m afraid, we have two different definitions of a good time. I didn’t come here to sleep with anyone or perform." As the tall, brown-skinned man was about to reply, Lewis walked toward you with a bright smile on his face.

"Hey, Kay. You look amazing!" He whispered before kissing your cheek. "Hi, Lewis. Thanks, you’re fine too."

"Lewis! You’re the one who blessed her with her presence? Wow, you’re a real one, bro." Lewis shyly smiled as he wrapped his arm around your waist. "Let’s get inside."

The music blasted from the inside as people were all reunited around the pool, drinking, smoking, swimming, dancing, kissing, or discussing. You almost let out a surprised gasp when you noticed a few famous rappers, athletes, or influencers. In their presence were many women from various backgrounds: models, influencers, singers, actresses, escorts, or even strippers. A wave of discomfort took over as you stared at the people around you. Lewis discreetly caressed your hand. "Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to abandon you in the corner. What would you like to drink?" Your eyes wandered to the most expensive champagne bottles, the ones you probably would never be able to afford. "Hum. Champagne should be alright." Lewis caressed your shoulders, promising to come back soon.

The second he left you, the vulnerability kicked back in again. Especially when you noticed multiple insistent stares. It only took a minute before men came to talk to you. Instead of feeling special, you felt like an animal in a zoo. All those men were approaching to see if you were actually Shiny Kay, if you were going to perform or even sleep with some of them in exchange for some money. Even at a party, you could not be treated like a normal human being. Thankfully, Lewis came back ten minutes later with your glass of champagne in his hands.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Perfect." You lied, trying to fight your frustration. Deep inside, you regretted not listening to your intuition and staying home. "Don’t worry, I don’t plan to stay for too long. I have things to do tomorrow morning."

"Great because I don’t feel like I belong here, honestly." Another man came in and interrupted your conversation. "Shiny Kay? Okay, I see you. Damn, Lewis, you’re a lucky bastard." Lewis smiled again out of discomfort before the man gave him a high five. "Nah, man. We’re just friends.” That reply should not have affected you, but it did. Is he sleeping with all his friends?

"I see." He replied with a wink before walking away.

"Okay, they only see me as your personal hoe, and I hate it there."

"We both know it’s not reality. That’s why I said we were friends."

"It doesn’t matter. In his head, we’re only banging."

"You shouldn’t pay too much attention to their opinions. Just focus on me and the moment, okay, angel? Let’s not ruin the little time we have." He murmured, licking his lips.

"You’re right." After all, you did not come here to be miserable. You accepted the invitation. Now you need to make the most of it. Since you ignored when you would see Lewis next, it was better to enjoy the moment now. The second you allowed yourself to let it go, everything changed. You started to dance, laugh, and discuss with other people while standing right next to Lewis. If you were sincere, you could not tell if it was the champagne or Lewis’ words. One hour after your arrival, you were fully immersed in the party, grinding and whining all over Lewis despite the curious or envious eyes. Drinking several glasses of champagne had consequences. The following hour, you were dancing with girls, completely forgetting about Lewis, who was nowhere to be found, to your surprise.

The party went on as you climbed the stairs to find a toilet in this huge house. You let out a sigh of relief when you finally found one. The party was actually better than you imagined. That is why you were humming happy songs while emptying your bladder. When you washed your hands, you could hear two voices behind the door. One belonged to Lewis, the other to a stranger.

"Lewis, man. Do you know who the girl you came with is?"

"I know." The man let out a sound of relief. "Before it was escorts, now it’s strippers. Damn, bro. I mean, this one is pretty good at her job and hot, I’ll give you that."

"She’s cool. We’ve been hanging out." You smiled at his words.

"Yeah, but she’s still a stripper, you know? And a well-known one."

"I know, man. What do you want to say?"

"Lewis Hamilton with a stripper in the media. Not cute for your image. It’s degrading." The word degrading broke your heart. You knew a lot of people did not respect your work, but the reality was that most were cruel to you because of it. Judging you without understanding or even having a background story. "Man, do you think I’m stupid? I’m not going to marry her or get into a relationship with her. We’re just having fun." Even if you knew that he would never take you seriously, you hoped to never hear those words from his mouth. Especially not with that detached tone. Not when you started to appreciate him. Obviously, you were very stupid to think that he was different from other guys.

"I admire what you did to help her. Could never be me. I mean, did you pay for her sister’s surgery before or after you had sex?"

"Way after. I’m the one who insisted on helping. Life hasn’t been tender with her." The stranger patted Lewis on the back with a smirk on his face. "So basically, she let you hit for free? Damn, you’re a boss." At the moment, you would have preferred to be grabbed by the jaw by your boss than hear that conversation. "Don’t think it was that easy. She’s the type who doesn’t mess around with clients." His friend exploded into laughter. "Yeah, unless the client is as good-looking and rich as you are. I mean, of course, she would fuck you. Most men she has to dance for are ugly creeps or old guys." Lewis shrugged, ignoring that you could hear every single word.

"So what’s the situation with Shiny Kay? Is she a friend with benefits, a booty-call, or a new girl for the rotation? What’s the tea? Do you like her?” Lewis hesitated for a moment before replying,

"The rotation? Don’t think so. I feel like she would fall in love, and I don’t want that. I appreciate her company, but more as a friend with benefits, you know? The other girls aren’t really good at conversing or entertaining. Kayla can kind of fill that void. I’m definitely going to keep her around. No attachment, great sex, and chemistry. We’re good. I like, but not like you think.”

"What if you catch feelings?"

"I don’t do relationships, and you know it. I’d say that Kayla is my LA fling. For example, last week I was with Tyra in Monaco."

"Tyra from NY?" His friend giggled again before giving him a high-five. Your eyes glistened with tears as you listened to them. "Man, you have high-quality flings.” The two men laughed, which broke your heart even more. "Are you ever going to invite her to the paddock?"

"Nah. It’s too risky for my image. I’d rather invite Tyra, who’s less under the radar. She has a more polished image in the public eye."

"You should bring her for our next trip. She’s so hot! Wait, why not bring the two?”

”I don’t like mixing up girls.”

When the two men exited the room next to you, tears rolled down your cheeks, running your makeup in the process. You were stupid. It happened to you once, and you did not learn from your past. A part of you genuinely believed that he appreciated you, that he was interested in you, but you were wrong. He was like the other guys, playing nice to have access to your body and considering you a commodity. As if being a stripper should mean that you cannot aspire to romance anymore. It broke your heart to see how people did not care about your feelings at all. Your heart sank into your chest every second as you tipsily walked back to the bathroom. Hearing him confirm that he was seeing other girls did not even affect you. What truly saddened you were the words used and the nonchalance when it came to you as a person. The sobs ruined your makeup, but it was the last of your worries. All you could think about were Lewis’ words. After taking a deep breath and cleaning the makeup off your face, you stormed out of the bathroom and found your way out of the house. The warm air hit your naked shoulders as you waited for the chauffeur to come pick you up.

Suddenly, you felt tattooed arms wrapping around your chest. He leaned to kiss your cheek as he whispered, "What are you doing here alone? I was looking for you everywhere."

"Going home." You replied coldly, not bothering to look at him. "Without saying goodbye to me?" You freed yourself from his grip before turning around to face him.

"Why would I bother to say goodbye to a man who doesn’t give a fuck about me? I heard your conversation with your little friend. This is exactly what I thought—you're no better than the other guys. You had sex with me, rubbed your ego by helping me, and then you’re going to put me to the side when I no longer suit your desires. Fuck you, Lewis. I’m so disgusted because I thought that. " You paused for a moment before continuing. "I thought that for once someone truly cared about me, but apparently I was wrong." Lewis looked down, embarrassed at what was just happening. "I never used you or anything. I just.-" You raised one hand in the air to refrain from speaking more. "I don’t care. I don’t want to know anything. You ain’t shit like the rest of your peers."

"Angel, let me explain to you."

"Who’s your angel? Calling me angel after calling me a LA fling who’s only there to fill a void you may feel sometimes. Last month, my boss humiliated me because of you. He grabbed me by the jaw, pulled on my hair, pushed me against the locker, and insulted me. Since that day, he’s been horrendous with me because of you. Because I was naive enough to believe that you were worth it. Guess I was wrong as fuck. I was also stupid for liking you. Go to hell, Lewis." You finally concluded when you noticed the chauffeur. Lewis screamed your name plenty of times, but nothing would make you change your mind. You were done with him and guys in general.

****

When you closed the door to your apartment, you collapsed on the couch while holding a pillow. The entire film of your little fling with Lewis played in your head. The more you thought about it, the more you hated yourself for being that stupid. How could you believe that a man like him would like a girl like you? You were just another girl on his long list. The sobs intensified each time you thought about the deep conversations, the laughs, and everything else that led you back to him. As you were trying to cope with the pain, your phone rang, displaying Lewis’ name on the bright screen. Since you never replied to his texts, he was desperately trying to call you. ”Kay, answer please. It’s not what you think.”Without thinking, you hung up and blocked him. Last time you allowed a man to fool you twice, it did not end well for you.

"Don’t think I love you. I just wanted to fuck a stripper and see how it felt. You’re so naive. Who would you want to date a stripper?" The NBA player laughed in front of your face as tears fell down your cheeks. "Why would you do that to me?"

"Y/N, I already have a girl waiting for me at home. As I said, you were a fantasy I wanted to try. Now, I have to stop it because you’re getting into your feelings. Seriously, what would I look like side by side with a woman like you?" His words felt like multiple slaps in the face. You were baffled at the extent he went to in order to portray himself as a good man. All the dates, gifts, sweet words, and pillow talk meant nothing to him. It was all part of his strategy. ”Your pussy isn’t worth my image.” Tears of rage and pain fell down your cheeks. The sight of him enraged you even more so you took steps forward and slapped his face before vanishing.

After everything you went through, you would not allow yourself to fall for the same sweet words all over again. You were thankful for the money he gave for your sister's operation, but it stopped there.

****

From that night on, things got worse. Since your boss learned about your little escapade with Lewis, he has made your life a living hell by humiliating you in front of other dancers, throwing your makeup on the floor, asking you to clean the locker room after the shift if you wanted to keep your job, booking the creepiest and ugliest clients for the private shows, tearing some of your lingerie and bikinis apart, paying you later than usual, and insulting you. Whore, slut, dumb bitch were the words he often used. One more night, he threw your makeup on the floor in front of your colleagues, stepping on your powder and blush to completely ruin it. Mentally and emotionally, you were drained. You had enough, so you reacted. "Aren’t you tired of doing that? What are you even gaining from it? You've already won. I don’t talk to the guy anymore." You spat out of anger.

Travis nervously giggled. ”Oh, so you don’t talk to him anymore, but he’s calling all the time to book you. I’m the one who has to lie so he doesn’t get to see you anymore. I won’t let the two of you fuck up my check. Weirdly, you can’t keep the same energy for other clients. That’s all it takes uh? A beautiful man for you to open your legs. You should have admitted it earlier, I could have help.” A part of you was happy to know that Lewis still cared. The other part refused to follow that path again. "I had no idea he called you. As I explained, I don’t have any contact with him anymore. He belongs to the past. He was just a sexual experience."

"I don’t care. You still went behind my back like a fucking bitch ass would." You rolled your eyes at your boss. "How many times do I have to tell you that I didn’t get paid for sex? We both wanted it to happen. That’s it. The only money I got was to help my sister."

"That’s even worse. You’re fucking clients for free." You gave him a bored look before collecting your stuff and throwing it inside your bag. "What are you doing, Kay?"

"Quitting. I’m sick and tired of this shit. I’ll work somewhere else."

"How are you going to afford your sister’s medicine if you leave? She has a lifelong treatment plan. Don’t you think you’ll get that kind of money working at KFC? Lewis is gone. What you gone do?"

"It’s my business, not yours. Fuck you all. Fuck you, Travis, and you fuck you bitches for never standing up for me just because you were jealous of me. Get the miserable life you all fucking deserve." You shouted before slamming the door. It was only when you sat in your car that you realized what you had just done. You were jobless but happy to leave this place. Tomorrow, you will start to look for something new.

****

One month later...

Lewis tried everything to reach out, but nothing worked. The only option left was going to your workplace, which was pretty risky and could cause you problems. His desire to see you clearly outweighed anything else. If your boss tried anything, he would make sure to deal with him. Lewis walked inside the strip club he usually came to in order to see you. Something caught his attention when he sat down. It was the fact that you were nowhere to be seen. When one of the strippers approached him, he handed her a few bills before asking, "Where is Shiny Kay?"

"Kay doesn’t work here anymore. She quit last month, insulting all of us in the process. Words on the streets said that she moved to New York." Lewis rubbed his forehead out of shame. He regretted what he said about you to his friend. Each day, he realized how much he truly missed your company. The kindness, the self-ness, the light mind, the little intimacy you have built. ”Fuck!" He groaned, looking at the small gift he had purchased for you. Without thinking, he exited the club and hopped in his car. His thumb clicked one more time on your number, but the same message played. He threw his head back in despair. If only you never heard that conversation.

When he came back home, his intuition urged him to check his mailbox. A letter was inside with unknown writing. Lewis tore open the envelope to read the letter.

"Dear Lewis,

Even if I never want you in my life or near me, I cannot vanish without thanking you for everything you have done for me. Sure, I wish things had ended differently, but I am no fool. I knew right from the beginning that a love story between us would have been impossible. However, I’m still thankful for meeting you, getting to know you, and spending some time with you.

Thank you for the conversations, the laughs, the small intimacy, the sex, the advice, the protection, and the kindness. Thank you for showing me that there are still good people on this earth. Most of all, I could never thank you enough for helping with my sister’s surgery. She probably wouldn't be here anymore without you. It means a lot to me. It’s a gesture I will never forget until the day I die.

For your information, there is no need to come to the club because I no longer work at this toxic place. Anyway, thank you for being the light in the dark for a moment, Lewis. You’re a special and precious soul that I will never forget. Take care of you! Xoxo

Shiny Kay,

PS: My real name is not Kayla. I’m Y/N. You’re not the only one who can lie and keep secrets."

Lewis bitterly smiled at the letter. He felt bad for how things ended with you. After all you went through in life, you deserved better than what he offered you. Unfortunately, he realized too late the value of what he had in front of him. Suddenly, he tried to examine the paper and envelope, hoping to find a clue about your new address. He sighed in defeat when he realized that you made sure not to give any clues away.

The best thing he could do now is wish you nothing but happiness. "No, thank you, Kay, for all those beautiful moments. If only I could go back in time." He whispered in a bitter tone.

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brownsugarcoffy · 8 months

Text

The writing was amazing in this!😩👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Nothing left

Raiting: 18+

Warnings: smut, jealousy, errors.

A/N: As we said here, leave your hands at home.

She loved their room. Maybe she would take a picture to put on her phone, frame and look at in moments of despair, because she didn't want to get out of there.

With a deep breath, she took off her heels abandoning them under a chair, while already she slipped off her earrings and the whole package. Behind her, it took Roman longer just to close the door, but Y/N had already taken over the bathroom to fix her hair and change. It had been one of the busiest mornings of her life and it was absurd considering that for years she had followed the pace of two rosters during the PLEs and the weekly routine. She hadn't had to run around endless hallways that day, the headphones hadn't stuck to her ears, there hadn't been any change of plans, no one to call in hurry, staff and technicians had been helpful, even offering Y/N her favorite frozen mango lemonade smoothie. They were so nice, but she liked the hotel room better. She needed a break.

- Have you changed your mind? Is it not a good opportunity? - she heard Roman ask from the room, finishing unbuttoning her dress to replace it with something more cozy.

They were not talking about a four am program, he watched it too when at home.

- It's a great opportunity Ro, for the company and above all for you - she obviously noticed, receiving a strange look, when she came out of the bathroom - it will give you visibility, it will increase your stats, it will help establish you on a wider audience and that’s the long-term goal for the future, even if you will boycott it with your list.

Standing next to the table, Roman cracked a smile taking the blow as she lay back on the bed, laptop already open on her legs, in what in a few minutes had become her personal sprint to shut the rest of the world out for at least a couple of hours.

- Is that why you are not happy to go to the studio? For my list?

Oh no, she was happy about that. Everyone out there seemed unable to get him to talk about anything other than his titles. At least they had found a compromise to please the company while still supporting him as more than the face of WWE.

- You can make all the lists and smiles you want, to whoever you want, don't worry. Do your things - she reassured him, opening the report to be sent to the executives for the following day's appointment.

Biting the corner of her lip, fingers racing across the keyboard, she finished in record time with a couple of randomly thrown standard phrases too, but she couldn't concentrate quite as well on emails, Roman staring thoughtfully at her without moving from one inch.

- What's up? - she asked, however, avoiding taking her eyes off the screen.

- You're not jealous – he threw out of blue and Y/N took a break to look at him this time.

Of course she wasn't. She wasn't that kind of woman. She didn't make a scene, she didn't get angry, she had learned to distinguish who deserved her attention and her precious time, she had survived a year of nothing with her head high and had been repaid with a perfect relationship, she knew what value she had for him and what value she had herself. She didn't low down to those levels, they even joked, she had compiled a list of the most obscene and hilarious comments about him found on the web.

- What should I be jealous of? - she asked.

Because she was really curious to know what made him suspect that her desire to go back to the hotel, get the boring work done quickly to have some time to relax and maybe be ready for a night out in a city that offered a million opportunities to celebrate those small successes, without having to worry about shots, uncomfortable or trivial questions, suits and skintight dresses, people who treated her as if they had been homies and greeted him with hugs that not even their coworkers dared, was for jealousy.

His phone, lying on the table next to the welcome note, rang when Roman had just shook his head and Y/N knew that it would be the end if her eyes hadn't locked there for a second too long. And she also knew that he had noticed it, but they would have not talk about that nonsense. Because it was stupid, meaningless and she wasn't jealous.

She went back to work on her laptop, ignoring him as he reached out to pick it up and Y/N opened the email, ending up ignoring even the latest updated communications from the program for the following day and scrolling through it. Roman glanced at her again, quickly, but Y/N forced herself to stay focused until he left the phone to go to the bathroom too. She took a deep breath as soon as she was sure he was out of range and she mentally forced herself to regain control.

It had only been a moment, perhaps because of this new set-up, all those changes, she really had nothing to stop and think about. Even if that hug had been a bit too much and… no, she had to stop thinking about it!

When Roman came out with his inseparable tracksuit to lie down next to her, Y/N was still with her laptop, gaze focused on some shots sent as pre-show tests.

- I would never do it, you know – he reminded her after a few seconds of silence, making her stomach do a flip.

Yes, she knew it… she trusted Roman more than anyone and she never doubted him for a second. She hadn't even doubted that morning actually, she was just… annoyed, but not for him. The truth was that Y/N had only wanted to go back to the hotel because it was simpler and because she didn't feel right fighting with a woman like her, although perhaps she could have since it were her hands that had been on him longer than necessary. But practically nothing had happened and Roman had went back to Paul's side as soon as possible.

- I know, I'm not the jealous one here – she reminded to both him and herself, while he was playing with his watch.

She had also had a moment, yes, but him… oh, he was a league on his own! Y/N had stopped counting before they even decided to put a name to their relationship, the times it happened. It was pathological.

- I value what belongs to me. I don't take you for granted - he returted seriously, no doubt in his voice and Y/N found herself staring at the screen, her stomach freezing this time.

Roman was a man, not a boy. He knew how to take care, respect and support her, he treated her as the only thing that really mattered and what would have been a flaw on anyone else, on him looked terribly sexy. And she always fell for it, without exception. Especially after spending the morning, trying to fight off the mood at having seen too many hands on her man.

- You're unbearable when you do that – she snorted, closing the laptop to leave it on the bedside table and climb on Roman without hesitation.

With a smug grin, Roman helped her into position, eyes searching for her, as she reserved the same fate as her laptop for his watch, fighting then with the zipper of his hoodie.

- Don't you want to know what time is our reservation? – he chuckled hoarsely, hinting at the message received minutes before and helping her anyway when she quickly stripped him of his shirt as well, her hands sliding down his chest to stop on his shoulders.

- I already know, I chose it - she murmured against his mouth, biting his grin.

Jealousy was for those who lacked confidence, not for them. She wasn't jealous. In that relationship, born out of nowhere and raised between dates at unthinkable times, meetings in lockerooms and buses, calls and messages from everywhere, mental and physical breakdowns, nights spent sleeping and mornings of sex followed by doubts, she shared more than the path with Roman. She had discovered that she was as possessive as he was, because she valued, them. What they were building together was everything to her and she wasn't willing to lose it or let someone ruin it.

She felt Roman hold her, hands sliding up her hips, keeping her pressed against him, as they deepened their sloppy kiss and Y/N ran her fingers over his chest. The rapid beat of his heart slammed under her fingertips, warmth surrounding and encouraging her to move, grinding against his pants which she had merely undone. He was solid beneath her, ready to let her control even though his tongue had already won their fight. Knowing that he belonged to her, to have power over him, to be the only one to have his attention and to be able to have him like no one else out there thought was an injection of confidence that excited and pushed her to reclaim what belonged to her and her only.

His big hands had worked their way through her soft clothes, stroking her hips, touching her skin, ass, eyes glued to hers as she slowly traced every inch of his torso after pulling away from the kiss. With the taste of him still in her mouth, she reached down to kiss one pec and then the other, working her way up to his neck, his beard pinching her cheeks as she licked the jugular then bit his ear, feeling him pull her up to place her on his boner now awake. She rocked on top of him, feeling him hard against her center, his hands moving up under her shirt lifting her breasts and hers going down instead, moving his pants down. Slowly biting the skin of his neck, Y/N took it in her hand, squeezing his meat just enough to feel Roman stiffen, his breath catching in his throat, her tongue stopping under his ear, merely tasting his skin, sensing the blood pressure without marking him.

- I don't need to do it… - she whispered, nail scratching his already wet tip -...not this time either... -she added, rubbing up and down until she drew a hot breath from him - ... right? - she asked, placing an innocent kiss on his full lips before leaning down and taking something else into her mouth.

A low, rough growl filled the room as she ran her tongue over his vein, feeling the flesh throb, the taste of it overpowering as she slid it against her palate until it touched her throat, in that one smooth motion she'd been busy to learn. She liked the feel of it pulsing against her tongue, his hand gripping her hair and indulging in the slow movement of her head, before curling into a needy caress as he struggled to fight the instinctive thrusts. Y/N loved seeing him close his eyes, his breathing getting heavy every time her lips licked the tip, sucking out all the air in his lungs to make him pulse.

-Ain't going anywhere babygirl – Roman panted, licking his lips, biting the lower one when she slid her fingers over the sensitive skin to scratch and free him – do what you want-

She let it slam against his bare stomach, a trail of spit and precum dripping onto his skin, those dark curls driving her crazy. Getting up on her knees, Y/N locked her eyes on him and threw away the extra clothes, remaining only with the shirt that soon ended up covering him too, when she slipped it into her soft hot folds. Her body greeted him with an almost sigh of relief which he returned low and dangerous, their bodies warming and melting like every time they did it.

She had fucked every kind of man in her life. But with Roman it wasn't even sex, with him it had always been more than that. Everything in him seemed made to slip inside her and mix, it was a loss of consciousness, something shared back, something unique that made her feel at peace, in her place. Her place was with him and his with her.

Nails digging into his torso, she slowly, unhurriedly rocked her hips, his now-rigid erection spreading her deeply, never letting go as her butt lifted.

- Mmh… keep it slow, like that… yes, thats it – he approved hoarsely and Y/N reversed the movement, guiding him inside her in that weak gasp which was setting both of them on fire.

Her caramel skin itched, thighs taut and soon her shirt became a torture, one Roman took care to make worse by sliding his hands down her side, catching a dark nipple between his fingers to turn it over and make her moan with a cry. Y/N ducked a little, her center filled with his flesh, as she flattened against him resting where someone else's hands had been that morning. Her mind clouded by the arousal brought back the memory, clear and her hips instinctively moved, without increasing the pace, only deepening the thrusts until Roman slammed against her sweet spongy spot.

They could make jokes, imagine, try even, but no one would have what she had. No one would feel him tightening his grip on her hips, throb from the grips of her body, know what it was like to burn, as the sweat trickled down her back, between her shoulder blades and up to the curve of her round ass from his thrusts or the kisses he left on her skin. No one would see the bleary, hungry gaze he gave her as her eyes lowered to seek him, the heat building more and more at the bottom of her belly.

- You're so good for me… so good inside me… ahn!

- Take it… le-mme hear those pretty sounds yes

His hand slid under her shirt again, this time without searching for her breast, his thumb digging into her wet folds, where their bodies joined to rotate slowly around the button of nerves she had rubbed against him until that moment. The contact sent a sharp shiver on her body, and Y/N dropped her head back, moans becoming almost cries as her back arched, giving Roman more room. Everything in her was burning, relentlessly, slowly, consuming her down to her toes, making her melt on him in a mess of moods and sweat. With an effort from his abs, Roman sat up, a big strong arm sliding behind her, pulling her close to him, his finger moving slowly and forcefully between her folds. The desire to kiss him made her almost cling to his neck, getting up again a little on her knees, helping him in that last run that had filled the whole room with their smell and the sound of their bodies clashing. One thrust, another, like a carousel she never wanted to get off, until the heat became too much and Y/N felt it explode suddenly, making her squeeze around Roman's stiff shaft, letting his name rush desperately from her lips to be swallowed up by the kisses he never spared.

There was nothing left in her mind, except that feeling of peace and satisfaction that only being with him could give her, that drained and recharged her as soon as his arms tightened around her, when her body welcomed his limitless lunges and his seed, which filled her like a mark that no one else had granted and that no one else but her deserved.

She rested her cheek in his hair, his face buried in the crook of her neck in an embrace that was everything to her. New York and its frantic pace couldn't take that away from her. Nobody could do it.

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#roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns x black reader

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brownsugarcoffy · 9 months

Text

This man got me crying like Jodeci the way he speaking through these messages. 😭😭 I need to pray.. manifest..or something because I would not mind this.😂😩

Title: Message My Heart {One Shot}

Lewis Hamilton x Famous Reader

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst, Some Fluff, PLENTY OF WORDS,

Words: 8.2k

Summary: You are a famous and jaded singer. You’ve closed yourself off from others and even experiences. However, one unexpected comment changes everything.

Note: Let's pretend we all can't recognize or man in .2 seconds from a super pixelated shot of his forehead alone. Let's pretend that we never followed this man a day in our lives. LOL

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~

You'd posted this on a whim, as a joke and nothing serious. It was a night you should have been kept away from your socials, a night of heavy drinking, illicit smoke passing your lips, and hours and hours of dancing until your legs were sore and the bottoms of your feet were numb. A night of laughs, tears, anger, and joy. A night all in the hopes of forgetting the loneliness of your existence.

Though you were never alone you always felt it. You were always surrounded by at least 10 people at any given time, always having someone snap your picture, scream your name, begging for an autograph, for you to smile, for you to pose this and that way, for a moment of your time, your voice, your heart, your life.

It was exhausting always being on display like you were 24/7 entertainment and not a person. Everyone believed you belonged to them and hence you had no right to privacy, no right to be human or left alone. Everything was always so intense and fast-paced, so sexualized and impersonal. You guessed it was the price to pay for the life you chose because of the vocal talent you possessed and oftentimes you believed you had no right to complain because you had chosen this, though you had no idea what this really was all those years ago.

You groaned, wrapped your fur blanket around your naked figure then took a heady sip of your mimosa. Then you scrolled through the comments underneath your post. You rolled past comment after comment of men giving you their sexual fantasies which ranged from mild to very depraved. You were beyond shocked that people would actually speak filth like this on social media for the world to see and not feel shame.

As you scrolled, you also noted how most of those sexual fantasies were deleted. That told you that your social media team was on it and doing the job they were paid handsomely for.

Your ringing phone drew your attention and without looking you knew it was your manager. You sighed then answered.

"Yeah."

"What were you thinking posting that? What did you think would happen?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"Damn right you weren't. The ways that statement could be taken."

"It's not like it was meant the way it was taken! Look I am not going to apologize for the depravity and lewdness of most of the male population. I will not take responsibility for that, nor do I deserve you calling me to belittle me about it."

With that, you ended the call. He was on thinner ice than he'd ever been before. You were ready to fire his ass before but now you were past ready. Your anger tried to overtake you but you recited the mantra you'd learned from your Balinese getaway where had a strong spiritual awakening that made you confront just how bad a shape you were in.

It took 7 repetitions but at the end of them, you felt more rooted in your strength. You continued scrolling rolling your eyes at comments that were weird or cringe then your finger hovered over the screen as a particular comment caught your eye.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take you away from everyone who makes those beautiful eyes empty and sad so I can gently caress and love away the pain that shines through wrapped around the lyrics of every slow song you put out that your voice so hauntingly expresses to the world. I would just simply love you for all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be.

For a very long time, you sat there staring at the words in a complete daze. You sat there so long that you actually forgot to breathe. When your chest burned and your head got light, you gasped filling your lungs. You then read the comment again.

Holy shit, you thought.

Who was this person? So many things raced through your mind. Was this just some random person, some random response? Did they know you? How was everything he said so on point? They'd seen through your eyes. Heard the pain. Slowly you began hyperventilating but quickly you got yourself under control. Who was this?

You clicked their name but found their account on private. You contemplated messaging them but quickly decided against it. It was stupid to do.

So you went about your day fulfilling your obligations and doing everything you normally would. Smiled for the cameras, posed for pictures, signed endless autographs, chatted with fans, kept everything PC, shook hands, and gave the people what they so thought they were owed. Every bit of yourself.

However, as your day progressed and winded down you couldn't stop thinking about the comment, and the more you thought about it, the more your curiosity increased. So by the time you were on your way home for the night, you went back on social and sent a follow request before you chickened out, then closed the app.

Though you tried to forget it, you didn't. So as you ate dinner, watched TV, showered, did a little work then wrote some lyrics you had it in the back of your head. When you checked it you couldn't help but smile as you found your request had been approved. However not much was posted in the way of a face. There were plenty of animal pictures, landscapes, and abstract things but nothing to tell you who this person was.

So with nothing to quell your curiosity, you backed off of their page ready to close the app all together when a red '1' appeared indicating you'd received a message. It took all of 5 seconds for you to open it.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Didn't imagine this would be the end of my day when I started it.

You smiled. Hell neither did you.

You: Me neither.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: To what do I owe the pleasure?

You thought about your possible response. You couldn't just tell the truth...could you? After some minutes you bit the bullet.

You: Why did you comment that?

You watched the three dots appear and disappear 5 times as you anxiously waited for their reply. You imagined all the things they could say, all the ways you'd possibly misread the situation and made a wrong decision. Just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, came a lengthy response.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I was just being honest and some more honesty would be that I've been following you for a long time and been a fan for about the same time and there is something about you. Something ethereal, something poetic and hypnotizing.

You: Ah. Another fan of my looks. Okay. I get it.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: This has nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with your aura. To be truthful I am convinced you look 1000 times better without the layers of makeup and lashes. It cheapens your beauty. The glow around you has changed over the years. It began beautiful and golden and has morphed into copper, then rust, now it is barely visible and just a shimmery black as if you are a former shell of who you were.

Talk about a stab in the gut. You read their words over and over and thought back to something the Dali said in Bali. It was something similar, something just as profound. A shiver rushed through you producing goosebumps along your flesh.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I posted that comment because I saw you and wanted you to know it. I wanted you to know that while the world wants something--everything from you I want nothing but to give something to you.

The tears in your eyes made your lids heavy. You fought the inevitable struggling to keep them at bay.

You: And what's that?

The reply was lightning quick as if he knew you'd ask.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Safety and love.

That was it. That was all it took for your bottom lid to give up and release the floodgates. Your tears cascaded down your cheeks and they didn't stop for long minutes that turned into hours until you'd cried yourself to sleep.

~~~~~

-12 Weeks Later-

A stranger's kind words to a random drunken post ended up being a gift from the universe. Every time you talked which was every day now he put you at ease. It was like having the worst case of poison ivy that nothing soothed but that one salve you decided to try on a whim. He was that salve and every time you spoke his effect was one that mystified you.

Your moods improved, intrusive thoughts decreased, and depression staved off. Hell, even your outlook had changed. Once everything was bleak. You saw the worst in everyone and everything. You were Ms. Pessimistic always with the defensive wall because you expected everyone you encountered to be trash. Now, that outlook had changed and because of the chance you were giving him and him not fumbling it was slowly changing your mind about people.

When you asked him what his motives were, he simply said to be your friend because you looked like you needed one of those more than someone to tell you how beautiful you are or break your back. That answer floored you. Never had you had a man who wanted to be your friend as opposed to something else--something more.

So friends was what you became. He became one of your biggest supporters always cheerleading you on through social media. He was the ever-present positivity your negative mind craved. His light and vibe were contagious and soon they'd infiltrated your whole outlook. He even got you into jogging, which you hated. Every morning at the ass crack of dawn you were jogging together sending snapshots of the view you were zipping by, short text messages throughout, and even voice messages.

You often decompressed together either watching a movie, playing against one another on gaming platforms, or just doing the same activities in your own towns. Through it all, you still didn't know what he looked like still didn't know who he really was and though you were curious, you also were afraid to rock the boat.

When your friends found out about him they often badgered you into figuring out who he was. They even offered to do a deep dive investigation on social to figure it out. You knew they could crack the case in a few hours but again the fear told you not to.

"What are you afraid of?"

It was a good question that one of your best friends, Alaana, asked as you sat with both of them in your theater room watching the latest release on Netflix. Twiddling your fingers, you avoided her eyes.

"Do you think he's a perv?"

Your other friend, Takia, gasped as she shot upright. "That he's a catfish?"

"Who is he catfishing as? She doesn't even know who he is let alone if he looks like who he says he is," Alaana pointed out.

"So what is it? Afraid he's butt ugly?"

The two cackled together as if they were the best stand-up comedians alive while you gave them your best unamused expression.

"Just tell us," Alaana whined.

"Rocking the boat."

They stared at you in confusion which made you even more frustrated. With a kiss of your teeth and a sigh you continued.

"Disillusionment. What if finding out who he is or what he looks like rocks the boat and destabilizes everything? What if things change and not for the better? Like I have no idea how this man I know nothing about was able to--"

"Bring back the Y/N before you got famous and jaded?"

The three of you nodded and sat there in silence for a few moments as if giving that silence to your former self as a show of sorrowful recognition.

"He hasn't even done anything. He's just been...there."

"The universe usually brings us what we need at the time we need it. What if he is what you need?"

"I've thought about that the last few weeks. I don't know how but somehow the way I think of him has changed. I daydream about him and get giddy when I think of him. I don't remember this with anyone else and it's weird because I don’t know him in the slightest."

"You like him," Takia accused.

"I don't know him."

"Girl, please. You've been talking to this man every day for the last 3 months. Every day. You know his routine, know his likes, dislikes, and dreams. You know him so just take the next step. Maybe you guys can make things work past friends. His first initial message to you was that he would love away the pain and love all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be."

Hearing his earliest words spoken made goosebumps skirt across your skin. They still affected you, still made you weak.

"No lie at first I thought it was creepy but seeing how pure and innocent it has turned it doesn't make me cringe anymore. I think at least find out who he is then decide."

"What if he's some normal guy who is like a doctor or teacher?"

"Would that make you think twice?"

"Normal people don't do well in this world. It's hard to understand and adjust to."

"Or maybe he is in this world."

"Making anything work in this world sucks especially if they are already in it."

"Which is the more appealing one?"

Just then your notifications went off. Checking it, you found a new message from him.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I'm sorry I'm on a business trip and it has been a crazy day. I'm all yours now. How are you?

You smiled and typed out a reply.

You: No need for sorries. I can't expect to have you all to myself 24/7

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: And why not? It's nothing short of what you deserve.

Lite fluttering butterflies took over your stomach making you burrow deeper into the couch.

You: So are you saying if I want you 24/7 then you're mine?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Even if you don’t want me I’m yours.

"Oh my god," Alaana squealed.

Glancing back, you found Alaana peeping over your right shoulder and Takia over your left. Both had literal heart eyes.

"Ask for a picture," Takia badgered.

"Tell him you'll send one too," Alaana backed up.

Shaking your head, you chewed your bottom lip trying to stick to your guns though the curiosity was killing you. Just then, another message came through.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Scared you off?

You chewed more intently on your bottom lip as you thought over his words. You weren't scared in the slightest.

You: It takes more than that to scare me.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Good to know. So the real question is, could you--would you want me?

Seconds later, an image came through and you sat there dazed staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes you'd ever seen.

"Wooooow," Alaana and Takia said in unison.

"That there is a beautiful man," Takia added.

She was right. Though you could only see his eyes you could see that they were kind eyes and kind eyes said a lot about someone. It had been a long time since you'd looked into a pair of kind eyes and now faced with his, you wanted nothing more than to stare into them for the foreseeable future.

"Holy Shit," you exclaimed.

"Right. Girl, I can tell he fine. I can tell these things. You can see it in the nose bridge. That's a nose bridge of a fine piece of man," Alaana said.

"The nose bridge? Come on Lana, I would have said the eyebrows and the lashes. Like, did he go to the lash bar or something? I'm jealous," Takia added.

You heard them but nothing was registering. His eyes held you captivated.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take your time. I'll wait.

And wait he did. Your friends booed you for not answering with a resounding "hell yeah", but you didn't let it phase you. Tucking your phone away, you tried your best to focus on the rest of the movie while ignoring the big elephant trunk sticking out of your phone as if to remind you what was happening in it. You didn't need the reminder. Your mind was already thinking and overthinking the exchange.

By the time your friends had gone to sleep it was almost 2 in the morning and no matter how you tried, sleep evaded you. So with your phone in hand, a bottle of wine in the other you trekked to the pool and set yourself up. It took less than 5 minutes for you to end up back on your messages. 6 hours had gone by since his last message. 6 hours you'd left him on read. 6 hours you'd thought about his words. You pressed the audio record button then sighed.

"Even before you sent that picture...I could and would want you."

Your finger hovered over the send button and it was fear again that stood in your way. So as you did 12 weeks ago, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and pressed send. After, you dropped your phone on the lounger, grabbed the bottle of wine, and took a hearty gulp of the sweet red liquid. This brand had a higher alcohol content than most of your whites which meant it would be the best 'no thinking' wine for you. It would make it easy to relax and just exist in the moment. You leaned back and gazed into the sky. You were far enough away from the lights and glitz of the city that you could see the stars and tonight you were glad for it.

Releasing a sigh of contentment, you realized it had been years since you felt this calm. It was easy to get lost in the view which is what you did. By the time your notifications went off again, you'd had half the bottle of wine. It was a voice message.

His normally deep voice was even deeper now. He sounded as if he'd just woken up or was very intoxicated and in the mood for nothing but sin. You pressed your knees together as a sensation you hadn't felt in years washed over you--desire. Who in the fuck was this man to have this power, you wondered incredulously.

"Wow. I honestly didn't expect you to reply. I'm pleasantly surprised."

Smiling you took another mouthful of wine.

"Sorry it took so long."

"It's all good. No need to apologize. I understand you better than you think."

"How exactly? You've never met me."

"I actually did, once. It was in passing and I guess I didn't make an impression so..."

Your eyes bugged as you wracked your brain trying to figure out if you'd seen his eyes before. There was no way you'd forget eyes like those.

"Trying to think over all the people you've met through your life to see if you remember me?"

He sounded amused.

"I was trying to figure out how I could not remember eyes like yours. Since I don't think it's possible I'm going to say you're full of shit."

The recording that came next put the biggest smile on your face and set those butterflies flapping again. His laugh was a thing for masturbation.

"Real talk though."

"So safe to say you're not a teacher or CEO of some major company."

"Ha, no not a teacher. As for a CEO of some major company...that's pretty accurate."

You continued to think over who he could possibly be but nothing was sticking. The only thing that was sticking was more and more curiosity and confusion.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: As I said before. You'll know when you're ready and when you are ready...really ready for me I will be there.

You stared at his words. They were words he’d sent before. Words he'd patiently abided by. Words he apparently meant. Your heart in your chest purred as of it were blissfully soothed and content. Staring back up at the stars you gaped in wonderment.

"Wow."

~~~~~~~

-4 Weeks Later-

You: I'm ready.

You stared at the message you'd sent 30 minutes ago. You couldn't believe you'd mustered up the courage to send it let alone actually meant it. In the last 16 weeks, there had been more than enough things that were working for him than against him. He was kind, funny, patient, funny, gentle, honest, gracious, spoke of his faith in things in such a way that instilled faith in you. You'd gone from not seeing the point in continuing if emptiness was all that awaited you to wanting the next day to come so you could experience new things through and with him.

Takia asked you a week ago if you'd fallen in love with him and though you were apprehensive to give her any response your heart lurched and thudded even more strongly within your chest. Since then, you'd thought even more about meeting him.

Today you woke with a stronger desire to meet him, touch his skin and see if he smelled how you imagined, like vanilla, cedar, spiced and fragrant musk, an open field of lavender, and lemon thyme and ripe citrus. You just wanted to be in the same room to see if you were romanticizing a stranger for his kind words or if there was really something there.

"You'll be late if we don't leave now," your new manager Iyla said.

Since firing your old manager and having Iyla come in who was always in his shadow because of how obnoxious he was you'd felt better and better about your career. She'd really stepped up in the past few weeks and showed you what you already suspected, that she was good at what she did and was a much better fit for you.

Once you were out of the hotel and in your car on your way to the venue you were set to perform at, you harmonized your new song trying to make sure you had everything right. It was partly because of how much of a perfectionist you were but also to distract yourself from the silence on his end from your message.

You tried not to think that he'd seen it and left you on read or that he was not on the same page as you anymore or that he'd changed his mind about you. There were so many thoughts and possibilities running through your head that work was the only way to quiet them.

20 minutes later you arrived at the Versace show where you were going to perform. This would be a first where live music was used for the models to walk the runway rather than backtrack. When Donatella had approached you with the idea you leaped at the chance. Half of your closet was filled with Versace so there was no way you'd pass this up.

"This is so iconic," Iyla said as she readjusted your altered vintage Versace dress. The material fit you like a glove and accentuated all your striking features.

"You will be the first ever to perform at a Versace show, hell any show that isn't the VS shows. You are about to break into another layer of this atmosphere, forget the stratosphere," Iyla said with a wide smile.

There was something about her that always made you comfortable. Her vibe always gave off excited and caring big sister and you loved that.

"Are you nervous?"

You wiggled your hand to show her how in the middle of the fence you were.

"Don't be. You look amazing and we already know your voice is sublime. Talk about an Indica trip."

You smiled already feeling calmer. As you walked the black and gold carpet you smiled for the cameras and did a few interviews. Overall everyone was looking forward to the performance and the show. Across the way, you heard a commotion. The photographers went into a tizzy and fans that were mingled together across the street looking on screamed. It sounded like a K-pop concert instead of a fashion show. People loved fashion but they didn't get this crazy for it.

Carning your neck you tried to see what the fuss was all about and instead saw fans losing their ever-loving shit.

"Oh my god, it's Lewis Hamilton," one screamed.

You'd heard the name plenty of times but you'd never paid much attention. All you knew was he was British and did some kind of sport. You watched on as he stepped up on the carpet and posed in his all-black outfit. You watched on for a few moments curious as to what all the hype was. He was too far away for you to make out much of his features but from what you could make out, you had to admit he was attractive.

Though you felt Iyla tapping you to tell you it was time to move you couldn't. There was something about him that was so captivating. Alas, you had a performance to kill. You turned and saw Donatella approaching you with a huge smile.

"You look even better than I thought you would."

"That's kind. Thank you but I am only the vessel for this beautiful piece of art you've created."

The photographers screamed for you both to pose so they could get the shot and that is what you did for almost a full 10 minutes. No amount was good enough for them, they wanted more and more and more.

"Ah, Lewis. Come, come, come. Join us!”

You spun and found the same man from a few minutes ago approaching. His smile was wide as he looked at Donatella but when they shifted to you his smile slipped. At the sight of that for some reason, your belly sank. Did he know of you and didn't like you?

As quickly as the smile disappeared it appeared again. He embraced Donatella kissing both her cheeks as he exchanged pleasantries. You caught a whiff of a scent that couldn't be cologne. It had to be him. It was strong but not in an overpowering way. Though he didn't stand too close to you, you could catch notes of spiced wood, and rich floral undertones that smelled as if fragrant flowers had been gently smoked over a fire to unlock their deeper fragrance. He smelled good--mouthwatering even.

Donatella turned to you, "Do you know Y/N? Have you met?"

Your eyes met and instantly the feeling of familiarity washed over you.

"Uh--,” you began.

"No, I've never had the pleasure, Lewis said holding out his hand for yours.

You placed it in his palm and felt the familiarity shake you again in the form of a sharp but almost comforting jolt. Neither of you budged though.

"Are you sure? I swear I feel like I've seen..."

"Trust me if I had ever been properly introduced to you, I'd remember."

His eyes held you locked in place. There was something familiar about them but you knew you'd never met him before. He was right. You were sure you'd remember eyes like his. Lewis suddenly dropped your hand, then slipped to the other side of Donatella to take part in the photos. Then like a thief in the night he was gone. Who was that you thought to yourself.

As showtime approached, you tried to forget the strange encounter and the way your body came alive from his scent. The more you tried to forget the more you focused on it but instead of thinking of the man you'd just met you kept thinking about the one you'd been talking to for the last several months.

A notification came up, sending you to your DMs.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Ready for what exactly?

Seeing his message your belly fluttered. It truly had been a while since you'd had a reaction like this to anyone.

You: You know what. Ask me again.

30 seconds ticked by, then a minute, and the whole time you tried not to chew your lip. When another message came in, again your belly flipped.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Do you want me?

Seeing the rephrased question instantaneously brought up your anxiety. It was direct on purpose because he wanted an intentional answer. Not a possible or hypothetical one. Oh, you thought. This man was different from any other little boy you'd encountered and every fiber of your being said take a chance.

Unable to resist, you bit down on your bottom lip and chewed forgetting all about your plum-painted lips, and prepared to type your reply but before you could get a letter down Iyla called your name telling you it was showtime.

5 minutes later, you were backstage waiting for your cue. You would be the first to walk out and down the runway as if you were one of the models. You'd then take your seat and begin. You should have been nervous about it but you weren't, you were more nervous about the message you were about to send.

A few of the models gave you hugs and thumbs up for support just before the stage manager gave you a nod for you to go. Once you stepped through the threshold, you took note of just how many people were there. The creative director had done amazingly on the set and ambiance. The large pool in the center of the runway space really was a vibe. The audience instantly erupted in applause as you stuck your beginning pose for dramatic effect.

What a dream you thought as you took your first step down the sleek white platformed runway. There were plenty of little girls who dreamed of this moment and here you were living it. It had been a while since you were open enough to feel gratitude but here and now you felt it in full force. Another thing to credit the man who still hadn't revealed his name for.

As you walked you noted the plethora of celebrities that sat around the runway at their posh-looking garden tables watching every move you made. You saw singers, actors, models, and even athletes from varying fame levels. On your turn, you saw Dwayne Wade who was seated next to Lewis Hamilton. Both men gave you an appreciative and polite head nod as you passed. When you got to the end of the "U" shaped runway you stopped and the audience again applauded you.

Once you were seated behind the piano, you adjusted your microphone and got ready to get down to business. As the first chords of the piano played for the intro you fully gave yourself to the track. A few lines in and the models began walking showing off the art that had taken months to prepare.

The song you'd chosen tonight was new. It was something that had come to you since you'd begun your interactions in your DMs. It was softer than the songs from your last album which was quite heavy. The lyrics were flirtatious, the melody fun and soothing but it was still somehow all you.

20 minutes later you'd sang 4 new songs and was in the middle of a piano solo that would close out the show. When Donatella stepped out after the model precession went by, you added some flair to the solo giving Beethoven and Bach a run for their money. The audience clapped and whistled as you showcased your musical abilities, abilities that had gotten you your current fame and status. Upon the grand finale, you hit the perfect ending chords making Donatella laugh.

The two of you walked on either side of the line of models toward the center of the "U" shaped runway to meet and join hands. She gestured to you making the audience applaud and cheer. You did a dainty curtsy then motioned to Donatella and cheered loudly which promoted those around you to do the same. You stood there allowing the photographers to take pictures for a few moments. When you glanced down you realized you were standing directly in front of Lewis whose eyes were glued to you. The smile on his lips was soft and the look on his face was endearing. You wanted to ask why but you shook it off.

2 hours later after endless pictures, interviews, autographs, and tens of flirtatious men trying to either get your number, get you to give them your number, or convince you to leave with them for the night; you finally had time to yourself. You finished your glass of champagne, leaned on one of the 9-foot tall hedges, and scrolled through your phone.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this.

Smiling, you took a deep breath.

You: I want you.

You were sure of that now.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Are you sure?

You: Yes. I've spent the night having CEOs, oil tycoons, actors, models, athletes, artists, and men from every other profession you can think of flirt with me, attempt to spend the night with me, and try to create some sort of connection only to fail miserably because all I can think of is you and the fact you haven't once flirted with me or tried to convince me to spend the night with you.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I didn't know you wanted me to.

You: I didn't either. Now I do. I want you to. I want you to do all of that.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: What if I don't want to convince you to spend the night with me? Spending the night with you is the least of what I want to do with you.

You: What do you want?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I want your days. I want your afternoons. I want your trust. I want your honesty. I want your vulnerability. I want your mind. I want your heart.

Once again he'd stolen your breath.

You: And what do I get in return?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I will give you smiles. I will give you laughter. I will give you joy. I will give you honesty. I will give you my days. I will give you my afternoons, my nights. I will give you my loyalty. I will give you trust. I will give you vulnerability. I will give you my mind, my heart, and only when you are sure you can match me I will give you my body and all the passion and fire you can stand.

Wow, you thought.

You: I'm in Cannes for a few days. I fly out the day after tomorrow. How can we meet?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Depends. How badly do you want it?

You: I'm not thirsty or anything but a hard 9.

A voice message came through of him laughing. Then another.

"I'm glad you can hide your thirst but I won't. Not anymore. I'm at 100."

It was your turn to send a voice message of you laughing.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Glad you find my suffering funny. I'm currently in Cannes too. If you trust me enough we can meet tonight.

Your brows rose. He was in Cannes too? What a coincidence.

You: Tonight then.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Tonight.

You felt all sorts of giddy now. It overshadowed the nervousness that was trying to overtake you. Fifteen minutes later, as you left the fashion show venue, another message came through.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Vieux Port, 12. Tell this to your driver and they will know where to go.

You smiled then attached a photo of yourself from the night and sent it.

You: Me now so you don't miss me

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Jeez. You're beautiful Y/N.

You: It is a bit unfair that I still don’t know your name.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: You'll know when you see me.

You dropped Iyla off at the hotel with an excuse of wanting to sightsee then you took the drive to the port. On the way you texted her the location you would be in case you bumped into trouble. With the window down, you relaxed into the scents of Cannes. Baked goods, salty sea air, citrus, and sand. It all smelled wonderful. You'd been here tens of times before but this was the first time you'd taken time for yourself to mellow out. You were in a completely different headspace than you were on previous trips and it felt so freeing.

15 minutes later, your driver pulled up to find 2 people, a man, and a woman, already waiting there. Your phone vibrated with a notification.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I sent Verona and Linus to escort you. They are waiting at the port. I promise you're safe.

Another message came with 2 pictures and vouching credentials. Sighing, you relaxed again. He had thought of everything. As you approached the two they smiled.

"Verona? Linus?"

"Yes. Ms. Y/L/N?”

"Yes."

"Wonderful. Please follow us we will take you to the vessel," Verona said.

As you walked behind them you couldn't help but wonder what vessel and how he'd pulled all this together in less than an hour. Who was he exactly? It took all of 3 minutes until Linus and Verona both stopped in front of a lavish yacht that looked like it was at least 3 stories.

"Whoa."

"Ms. Y/L/N, after you," Linus said with an outstretched arm pointing to the boarding plank ahead.

You stood there for several moments thinking about things again. Were you really going to get on this yacht with someone you’d never met before? Were you really going to be this trusting?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I had Verona and Linus provide your driver with the details of this yacht before he left. I've told him to give it to your manager so they know where you will be and how to contact authorities if you aren't returned safely. I’ve also asked them to check in with you every 30 minutes using a code word they choose. I don't want you afraid of me Y/N. If you are afraid I won't think anything of you turning around and we can try this another way, a more public way with your manager present. Whatever you're comfortable with.

You didn't know if it was game or not but his words calmed you. Maybe it wasn't his words and the fact that he thought ahead and provided these securities for you to feel safer. A call from Iyla came through then.

"OMG, Y/N. Wow. I have so many questions and I want all the details later but your code word is Calamari. I will call every 30 minutes."

She sounded excited and you had no idea why.

"Got it."

Just like that, she ended the call. Why was she so excited? You wondered if she knew something you didn't as you put your phone in your bag. With a breath, you crossed the plank and allowed a man dressed similarly to Linus and Verona to lift you onto the yacht.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. He is waiting on the top deck. Follow this hallway to the steps at the end and up you go," Verona instructed.

With a nod, you were off. As you walked you noted just how luxurious the yacht truly was. Did he own this? If he did he was possibly in or close to your tax bracket. You weren't sure if you should be happy about it or leery. If he was in your tax bracket it could mean he was a celebrity as well. At that thought you paused on the 4th step on the stairs.

You thought about celebs that you'd tried to get to know or date and cringed. All of them were slightly weird with quirks you couldn't handle on top of your schedule and responsibilities. A celebrity relationship took a lot and you didn't know if you could give any of it.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Y/N."

You took a breath and continued. When you reached the top of the stairs your jaw dropped. There were candles and flowers everywhere. Slowly you looked around and realized they weren't just any flowers, they were your favorite flowers.

"Oh my god," you whispered.

With a step forward you took in your 360 view and you knew that no matter who he was you wanted to try for him. As you looked behind you, you walked backward distracted by the beauty surrounding you. He'd somehow managed all of this in under an hour. Somehow he'd filled the entire top deck with all your favorite things. Your favorite flowers were covering every surface of the floor. Your favorite scented candles were lit and their scent wafting in the air. Your favorite snacks and treats lining the railing on the left. Your favorite fruit lining the right railing.

"He's really been paying attention," you softly said.

"Of course I pay attention. You're important to me."

You stumbled to a stop but kept your back to the voice. You recognized his voice. You recognized it from your messages and even tonight. Suddenly, everything swirled in your mind as it slowly came together.

Hi, Y/N."

You took a deep breath and turned. Your jaw dropped while everything fell into place as you looked into eyes you'd seen before this moment. They were eyes you'd looking into mere hours ago.

"I'm Lewis."

He smiled and your heart skipped a beat but words escaped you. He didn't speak again, he waited with his hands clasped behind his back. He wore the same full black outfit from earlier but he looked even better in it now with the candles and flowers as his backdrop.

"I--you--oh my god. You're--”, you began.

"Blessedbeyondmeasure44? Yes, I am."

The silence stretched for a long moment before you snorted.

"Bullshit."

Lewis chortled in return then let out a chuckle.

"I've said it before but God I love that you have no censor and say the first thing that comes to your mind."

Your eyes bugged. He had said that before.

"No. You're not."

Lewis smiled and took a few more steps to you, "How can I prove it to you?"

"Prove?"

You wracked your brain trying to make sense of this and come up with a way he could make you believe this.

"What was the first thing I said to you in DMs?"

Without hesitation, Lewis spoke, "After you sent a follow request I said I didn't expect that this was how my day would end and you said me neither."

You raised a brow. "What was the last thing we did together?

"We went to the beach. You went to Crystal Cove in Laguna Beach and I went to La Concha because I was in Spain at the time. You sent me a beautiful picture of a cave and said it was one of your secret spots. It was called--.”

"Dana's Point," you finished as he proved his point.

"I can show you the messages, and our pictures including the one you sent earlier so I wouldn’t miss you. I wouldn't miss you though Y/N. You stand out no matter what."

He took another step to you leaving only a few inches between you. He reached out and took your hands.

"I have missed you though. I've missed you in so many moments that I wished you were with me, so many experiences I wished I had with you. I missed you every time a message of yours came in. I even missed you in my dreams."

You lifted your hand and cupped his cheek while staring into his eyes.

"I knew I saw those eyes before. I felt it."

Lewis smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this in front of those cameras and the crowd. I'm sorry I wasn't 100% truthful."

You smirked.

"Your message."

Lewis cupped your cheek in return. "Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes--," he paused then cupped your other cheek. Using his thumbs, he softly slid them across your cheekbones. "Your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this."

Tears welled your eyes and you scoffed.

"Now you flirt with me."

A chuckle fell from his lips and if you hadn't fallen for him before you definitely had now. You hung your head and shook it.

"I am so stupid. This whole time."

"You're not."

"You're Lewis Hamilton. I am sure any other woman would have recognized those eyes. I had no clue. Hell, I don’t know the first thing about you, not really. Yeah, you're a racer but other than that..." you shrugged.

Lewis lifted your head his hands now cupping your skull. It put you on high alert at just how large his hands were. "Hey, love that you had no clue. I love that you don't know me. It was refreshing. I loved these last few months of you knowing me and me knowing you without the extra stuff."

"We know the extra stuff now. Oh my god, from the ruckus on the carpet of the Versace show you're a huge celebrity. How in the world---."

Before you could continue your freak-out Lewis' lips were on yours. It was like you’d stuck your finger in an electrical socket. Your entire body came to life as if his touch was life itself. His soft lips slowly pressed against yours before he opened them enough to take your top lip between his. From there all thought escaped you.

When one of his hands slipped around your waist you moaned unexpectedly. Where had that come from? Your body had no trouble following along. You pressed yourself closer to him relishing the tingles that skirted across your lips and everywhere he touched. Just as you were going to sink your fingers into his braids, Lewis pulled away keeping his forehead to yours.

"Do you want me?"

His voice was low and deep and it wrapped around you pulling you closer to him.

"I-I don’t see how I can have you."

Again Lewis kissed you. This time he delved his tongue into your mouth wrapping it around yours, teasing you to open more for him. When you did it was because you moaned. He took advantage of that opening and kissed you in a way that said he was not letting you go. His moan melded with yours and you felt his other hand tighten as he held your skull. Tearing his lips away, he panted as harshly as you were.

"Do you--want--me? Because I want you Y/N. I want you even knowing the obstacles in our way. I want you more than I have wanted anything in a long time. I want you in ways that surprise me and make me year all at once. I'm not saying this will be a walk through the park. I'm saying I want to walk together with you from this night on. Do you want me too?"

He had to be kidding. Who in their right mind would say no after that? You snorted then laced your fingers together behind his neck thrusting yourself flush against him.

"I want you more than anything. I want you in my life. I want to really run with you though I hate it. I want to go to beaches together and have movie nights truly together. I want to see the same sunrise and sunsets you see. I want to touch your skin like this whenever I want instead of thinking about it. I want to smell you every day. Yes, Lewis. I want you too."

The look in his eyes held you in place as did the tightness of his arms that were now wrapped around your waist holding you possessively against him.

"I can't wait to give you the world Y/N," Lewis said in such a way you knew he meant every word.

"I don't need the world, nor do I want it. I just want you."

His smile was the cutest thing and you knew you'd never get tired of it.

"You have me. Next up...the world."

You smiled then giggled when he lifted you in the air and spun you around. You laughed louder loving the way the sound came from the very depths of you and how authentic it felt. When he put you down you were at the railing looking out to the ocean.

"Started from a DM now we here," Lewis said making you snort.

"Started from a DM soon the whole world will fuckin hear bout it."

Lewis threw his hands up.

"Ayyyy!”

You laughed loudly and soon he joined in. When he wrapped his arms around you again he gazed into your eyes but said no words. Slowly both of you moved closer until your lips softly touched. Neither of you moved. You took the time to savor the feel of your skin connecting in a way your minds and souls already had. A way that he had retaught you, a way that he so patiently and diligently worked for and it all started when he messaged your heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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brownsugarcoffy · 9 months

Text

Laketa J Masterlist

Here are all my works compiled into one complete Masterlist!!! As always I hope you enjoy!! Happy reading!

Vikings MASTERLIST

Black Panther Fandom MASTERLIST

The Last Kingdom MASTERLIST

Peaky Blinders MASTERLIST

Henry Cavill MASTERLIST

Lovecraft Country Masterlist

Colson Baker Masterlist

At Ease: A Mandalorian Fic

Fifteen Minutes: Jax Teller

Nomad: Jax Teller

Bad Habits: Steve Rogers, Loki Fic

Vacant: Loki Fic

Steve Rogers kinks: (I) (II)

Have it your way: Thor Fic

Rides: Thor Fic

Commando: Sam Wilson

Single in Staten Island: Pete Davidson

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brownsugarcoffy · 9 months

Text

I love me some angst with Lewis!😩😭 But he clearly don't know who he's messing with and had to find out real quick. Lol

Title: Wasted Time {One-Shot}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, High angst

Words: 1.4k

Summary: Nope.

Note: Just a likkle something that popped into my head an hour ago. I hope you like it. There might be a part 2. Might.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

He scoffed and gave you that cocky smirk. "Lewis fuckin' Hamilton."

You sneered at him. He knew you hated when he okayed the cocky, self-centered role. He knew you hated it and was doing it anyway just as you knew he hated when you got disrespectful when talking to him and embracing your petty side with him.

You were both playing a dangerous game.

"Yeah? And remind me again who the fuck that is in my world because I got nothing."

Lewis sneered right back at you. It was a low blow, you knew it but you were never the one to fight fair.

"Be careful, Y/N."

"No. Fuck that! You be careful and do yourself a favor by remembering who the fuck I am. You may be Lewis fucking Hamilton, the big dick, sweet-talking star of F1 who has every man, woman, and child hanging off of every word he says but I am Y/F/N & Y/L/N. I will not just sit around and allow you or any man to disrespect or make a fool of me. That's just not how I'm living."

Before he could respond, you swiveled and walked away, another thing you knew he hated and another thing you purposely did. You were getting extra heated and needed to move, preferably away from him or you would probably lose your shit.

"Y/N," Lewis called out his voice low and clipped, clearly in warning. A warning you ignored.

"I've told you about walking away from me."

"And I've told you about half the shit you did tonight."

"Come on. How is it the same? Youre doing this shit to get a rise out of me. That was work," he explained.

The poke from the devil was a hard one and one you could not ignore. You stopped and spun back around to look at him. Your head reared back almost like you'd been sucker punched. As you gaped at him, the only thought was that this fool had the audacity.

"Work!!”

"Work," he repeated.

"I know you fuckin' lyin'. Work? So you cuddled up all he-he haw-haw was work? You with your arm around both of them was work? Both of their hands roaming the span of your thigh was work? You taking their numbers was work? What about dancing with them in VIP, work too? Do you take me for a fool--a joke? You think I'm stupid huh!”

Lewis pinched the bridge of his nose as if he were hanging on by a thin thread. When he opened his mouth you didn't allow him to speak.

"Unfuckinbelievable!”

"You're right it is. It's the same thing with you all the time. Aren't you tired, Y/N? I've told you if you can't handle my world then don't engage."

You didn't know if you imagined the alarms blaring around you, or the flames igniting around the room, but within 1 second and one sentence, you descended into chaos. Your entire being was scorching hot. The heat began at your face then blazed downard making you feel like Johnny fuckin' Flame himself. With your hands clenched into tight fists, you took note of their shake. You knew this was a category 7 level of anger.

For the life of you, you didn't know why this man and this man alone could bring you to this level of anger. You didn't know how he got so deep under your skin, or how he had this much power over your emotions. How had this man gotten here when you'd been so careful?

When your hearing came back to normal, he was still going.

"If you can't separate my work from my reality then remain separate from them. Don't keep doing this because it's getting old as fuck. Every time you see something you spin it and spin it until you come up with some convoluted version of what it really is then come and accuse me of being someone I am not. Do you understand how fucked that is?"

With every word you got angrier and angrier you were so angry you couldn't formulate words, couldn't make any sense of this. At one point you even began to believe that you'd convoluted the whole thing and you were at fault but the smoking gun in your bag was what flashed in your mind.

You walked to your purse that was resting on the table beside the door, opened it, and took your phone out. It only took you a moment to find what you were looking for. Seeing the picture again made you ready to throw the device in his face.

"Separate your work from your reality huh?"

You went as close to him as you dared because you knew if you got too close you could and would physically hurt this man. You raised the phone and held it in front of his face then you watched him study the picture that was sneakily taken from a distance that showed him and the twin models that he'd been surrounded by all night. One was leaning into his neck as if she were getting very familiar with one of his erogenous zones while the other was leaning into his face staring deeply into his eyes. Lewis remained there smiling while his right hand was resting on the small of the twin's back whose face was in his neck. The whole thing looked suggestive.

"Separate your work from reality? A convoluted version of reality?"

"Where did you get this?"

"Accuse you of being someone you're not?"

When Lewis' eyes met yours his were concerned, stressed, and curious while you knew yours were cold.

"Where did you get this?"

He reached for you, but you evaded his touch.

"Remain separate from them? Do not engage?"

The worry lines between his brows deepened right then. He knew what you were going to say. You'd been spending so much time together how could he not at least know your thought process?

"Consider it done."

You turned and walked to the door. Lewis called your name over and over. Each one sounded more and more desperate. When you felt his hand wrap around your wrist, you yanked your arm but didn't manage to break the contact. Instead, Lewis managed to enclose you against the wall blocking you there with his arms.

"Let me the fuck go."

"It's not what it looks like I swear."

"Ok," your voice was low, monotoned, emotionless.

"I promise. Why would I do anything like this out in the open? Why would I take this risk?"

"Because you do all your dirt behind my back and closed doors," your monotoned voice stated. "Let me go."

"Y/N, come on," he began.

"You said you're tired right? That this is old? I'm tired too and you're right, shit is very old."

"Y/N..."

Lewis brought his face to yours, but before he could make you weak, you ducked under his arm and opened the door.

"You're just going to leave?"

"I dont know who the fuck you think you are but I know who the fuck I am and I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you. Remember that shit."

With that, you walked out keeping your back straight, head high, and tears in. As you walked away you heard Lewis mutter one more thing.

"You're supposed to trust me, Y/N."

"And you're supposed to respect me. What's trust without it."

You stepped onto the waiting elevator and as it closed, your eyes locked onto one another's. You were both too stubborn for your own good and that stubbornness was on display right now. Both of you refusing to meet the other in the middle, refusing to appear to be the weaker one, refusing to let the other know who'd fallen harder for the other. From the look in his eyes you could tell he still wanted you, still felt for you but the lack of movement from his legs showed something else and it was all you paid attention to.

You didn't know what you wanted from him, or what you expected in this moment but he was speaking loud and clear though he was completely silent. The way he held the door with one hand and the wall with the other screamed confidence. He looked like he expected you to run back down the hall to him to kiss and make up. The longer you didn't, you watched the confident facade crumble but only slightly.

Once the doors closed and the image of him was gone, you slumped against the wall, hanging your head.

"9 months wasted," you whispered to yourself, "I'm so fucking stupid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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brownsugarcoffy · 9 months

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Everything you write is described with perfection! I'm never disappointed!😩👌🏾

que sera, sera

pairing: biker!roman reigns x reader authors note: i’m a description whore, sorry. also an angst whore, but i do love me some fluff and smut. if this works the way i hope, readers shall get a taste of everything. word count: 2.9k

musical inspo: que sera, sera - sly & the family stone what ever will be, will be, the future is not ours to see

the pensacola heat is more merciless that you remember, wraps the skin something tight. a suffocating embrace. or maybe its not the sun that does you this way, but memory.

but pensacola, home, has that way about it. makes the sun burn unforgiving, and the wind rush in wild and cool. home is raw. unfiltered. cares so much about you that it does not. the road here isn't just road either, and the grass isn't just some earthen thing to trample upon. it's where laughter has met petulant chaos a thousand times over. producing scrapes against the skin that stay forever.

maybe that's why the twenty year old gash across your elbow tingles to life as it rushes fast through the wind.

and maybe thats why you stayed away so long.

because even pensacola gas stations make your skin skitter.

why'd you do this to yourself?

"nice bike, is it yours?"

some guy, coarse sounding, dragging a cigarette through his lips, steps closer and closer. each footfall more calculated than the next. a pair of shades about his eyes that hide intention.

you don't waver in the slightest. what reason do you have to? "who else would it belong to?"

the frames slip low to reveal eyes feigning at intimidation, but it's all poorly crafted bravado. you'd seen better to know he was just at the very least a pedestrian and at the most someone meagerly trying to prove otherwise.

he says nothing else, but looks still. takes a thorough studying of your face, the leisure way you present yourself, the ride you pump gas into, and the red ink littering small but stark along the plain of your neck. he smirks and the intention becomes so painfully clear your heart skips and plummets some. he's nothing more than a pair of eyes and ears, itching to report whatever he hears and sees, in whatever way that allows him to gain.

you crack, break from the hold of his eyes and shift to mount the motorcycle you rode in on.

"that's a nice tattoo you have", he says. stalking away. something like victory littering his steps. his phone goes from pocket to ear, and as his lips move the pensacola air becomes stifling.

your engine roars to life, giving it a short rev before you speed off.

a harsh "fuck" is all you can muster, and is all that exist to speak to the taut way your nerves set as you disappear away into the horizon.

---

his chest constricts, a pulling not of lust or some softly formed desire, even as his lips move to kiss. it was foreboding, a lingering tug that'd lasted since the early afternoon, and he'd feigned that oh so easy and collected disposition long enough, grasping with eager hands for release.

and gianna loved to witness such rare moments. splayed against the sheets, the cool night breeze twisting about her skin as she trailed needy fingers tips across the ridges of his back. beneath them, she could feel the crack of such a well fortified resolve and it stirred something hot in her belly. it wasn't a joy to see him break no, but just to get even a glimpse of something other than that faithful stoicism.

but he wasn't here, she could tell. far too methodical for his own good, the rushed kisses against her skin felt urgent, impatient. each planted with a 'lets get this over with' air that soured her will to melt and moan as he would normally have her do.

"roman baby", she sighs. feeling off in every way.

but he only grunts. pushes his mouth further into her skin to kiss and it feels lukewarm.

her hands push against the wide stretch of his shoulders. "roman stop, just...", he lifts confused but not really. "just stop".

she tries with everything to search him, his eyes, but they give her barely anything. a semblance of disappoint, but its false and quickly crafted.

he shifts to lay beside her. quiet.

"whats wrong?"

theres no answer, and for long seconds at a time when theres nothing but his breathing, she thinks there never will be.

and then the phone rings, his phone. roman's broad body shuffling out of the bedroom nothing more than a reminder of why she was here. trying with urged hands to pry open and grasp at unattainable things. a cool breeze curls to her through the open window, and with just her on the bed, alone, she figures in all the time she's known roman, she's never felt so cold.

the tugging in his chest turns into a beating, anticipation hot in his skin, but it never reaches the strength of his voice.

"speak", he commands.

"$250,000".

noah biles, a man known only by self proclamations of doing "good business" and his boorish voice. if expressions could be heard, roman is sure he can hear the slow spread of noah's mouth into something ugly and mischievous. akin to an animal baring teeth, save for any true paining bite. he feels the build, a vexation that twitches his nerves slow and oddly methodical. his fist ball tight before releasing and then again as he speaks, they ball again. "what is this?"

noah chuckles. "a statement that speaks to the value of our dear friendship. a quarter of a million dollars worth of respect".

it's all sarcasm and jest. a true waste of time. roman had given and received more money to and from better men for less. but noah only toyed in his face with propositions when he felt the need to, when the possibility of a partnership was not just some muddied one-sided idea, when whatever information he'd acquired would make roman's ear twitch in a begrudged curiosity.

"it's not worth much then is it?"

"it's a challenge, naming a price that turns your head. i've said fifty, a hundred, and now twenty five hundred thousand dollars. your father was never this keen on his self righteousness".

on a better day, when some unnamed angst decided against plaguing him, roman would take pride in reminding noah that men did well not to mention his father, and the differences in their ways of operation. but for now, as the nameless frenzy grew in him, tearing apart his resolve, he settled for less.

"he did what he did in his day. it's a different day now".

"with more money and bigger business".

roman sneers. "business i hate".

"you wound me".

there's a shuffle, soft and hesitant behind him. cautious footfalls that end just at the frame of his bedroom door. it's a never ending search with gianna, when he's looking at her, when he's not looking at her but years of him crafting the greatest guises has left her stranded and clueless each time. and now like always, he's looking at her, but through her, mind here but else where just the same. and she, determined as ever, stands there patient and observing. searching. always searching.

"why'd you call me?"

the line is silent. a preambling stillness before the reveal of the roots of his day long foreboding.

"BHW-5704. a new york plate"

...new york...

"for a car?"

"a bike. more importantly the woman on it".

he wonders if gianna can see the twitch of his jaw, the slight shake in his hand. the coming alive of all his tells so long ago buried, now surfacing with a vengeance. but still, roman's voice remained as always, calm amidst the greatest storm. "get to the point".

"she had interesting tattoos. two red drops on her neck. i figured somehow that'd interest you".

he was not speechless often, had always been the one to leave others in such a debilitating state, but he could not form words or coherent thoughts. everything came together endlessly but muddled, a swift sifting in his mind that could not stand still long enough for him to respond in the ways that he did so often. he heard roaring engines and laughter. the twist of sweet kisses and the rasping lilt of your voice. piercing eyes and warm fingers. he wondered in far away dreams about you more often than he'd like, would see the color red and stand stuck in sweet ancient memory till that feather weight feeling coiled hard and just in his gut. the warmth from dreams drew in a blizzard cold and without notice, he grew fast in a hatred that coasted the lines of violent.

and now what? you were back?

noah's amusement made his stomach turn. "i guess im right"

roman hung up the call to dial up another.

his foreboding was not for naught as he figured.

"solo", he breathes, seemingly gaining back his voice.

---

who would have known that of all the supposed comforting things, the smell of coffee would wrap gruesome and bitter about your senses to the point of sentimental suffocation. it was an unforgiving jolt to the system, seemingly against your will, to remember all that time ago, your body filled with teenage angst and paranoia. 'does he feel the same', a question that reoccured more often than the setting sun. and then, tasting warm and strong, he brisked away every doubt with a tender kiss. lips soft and teasing. a playful hum of satisfaction buzzing just above warm cups of coffee.

like everything in pensacola, the road-in diner is more than just some diner.

memory makes the coffee harsh, but you drink it anyways. sipping cautious as not to disturb the fragilely formed peace set about the table.

the diner itself ebbs and flows with a soft busyness about it that has never moved solo to a complete calm. and to endear himself to it, would mean a misstep in judgement. judgement he's spent years crafting meticulously. and that's why he takes the corner booth furthest from the door, his eyes catching its opening and closing each time. he sips coffee, only because you ask him to, but it's without everything that makes it bearable. no creams, no sugars, just plain coffee.

and he's burlier than you remember, but his stare still pierces cold and unmoving like it had always done. like it does now. makes you fidget uncomfortably, fighting against the impulse to shrink. his eyes are ones to be read, a door purposefully left open in great attempts to tell without word, thought and intention. something like a burning sensation left in the wake of every cutting look, from left to right he gives across your face.

just sitting here, albeit lawful, feels criminal.

after what feels like forever, solo speaks. "he thinks im out there looking for you".

"are you gonna tell him where i am?"

"if not me then someone else will". he thinks back to the call from roman just over an hour ago. "if he sent me to look for you, then he knows you're close".

the possibility of seeing him, of hearing his voice. it churns your gut a slow brutal pace, in what feels like to you is some self inflicted attack. a war of the body's own making, heart against the mind, sending nerve endings into a frenzy...it would be easy... you think, to mount your bike and head back north...so easy.

"I'm not here to step on toes solo, i just-"

"then why be here?" it's something in his eyes, in the way his brows pull tight. a genuine dose of confusion but more pronounced, living in the lines of his face is an irritation. the type that melts into the skin and ages with time and experience, the type of irritation only bonds can create. "you left all that time ago, hell bent on stayin' away, and then out of no where you're back. for what?"

you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, but even then you're easy to scrutinize. sullen and vulnerable. some part of solo figured time away would harden your resolve, but you were less than the same. a completely open book to anyone who dared hard enough to look. and he sees you more than you'd like, more than you've ever been able to stand. "you miss him", he admits for you, accusing really. "you got tired of new york and you miss him".

"you don't know me".

it's an obvious lie, but solo decides with half baked mercy to play along.

"not as much now, maybe, but when i did, when we was young, you was never that hard to read"

"am i so awful for wanting to come home?"

"you cant just renege on years of not being around, that's not how this shit works". he's right, talking firm and resolute. "we barely got away with pickin' and choosin' way back when on what we wanted, but now?"

fuck he's right. "i know. i know, i just-". every path forward is blurred. muddled with what if's and maybe's. "if i leave again, i'm a coward. if i stay, then shit gets stirred up. so now what?"

solo softens. "you gotta know if you stay, he ain't the same". he wasn't going to solve your problems for you as you figured he wouldn't, but that possibility, even if it meant leaving again, felt better than the truth. "he's not".

you nod in understanding. it's all you can do.

---

new york was all hustle and bustle. a hard, gritty orchestra of coarse engine rumblings and screeching trains. an endless moving about that tires the feet, heart and mind. so much so that the seas of people and the steady droning becomes the only familiar song. new york, with all that it had to offer, and all that it'd forced upon you, was the perfect distraction. so much so that you'd stayed there, holed up in that sleepless city, a fifteen year stretch, till you no longer could shake the tiredness. till the long, meticulous maneuvers of avoidance and longing became too great to suffer with.

pensacola, in it's rawness, was still hospitable because it was home. so when solo, despite his silent displeasure, ignores your awkward mentioning of motels with a wry chuckle, you know that home isn't too far from where it used to be. the people you called family, are in some way, family still.

solo's home was something like a time capsule. warm and weather beaten. a sturdy place of ageless memories. the walls, the floors and the furniture, strong but marred still by hands, bodies, and the air's of angry pain and laughter. dents from reckless fun and pictures hanging to still the moments in a frame. one of them, a portrait of bikes and men. leather and metal everywhere that it could find itself, with sprinkles of red, because the club was just a more formal coming together of something that had existed for years. the bloodlines.

...his and yours...

and that's why your father stood next to roman's, and the twins and solo next to theirs, and on it went. the bloodline stretching far and wide like a small sea till the picture was cut off by the mere size of the frame.

it's only because of the creak that you hear him coming up next to you. both taken by a particularly strong nostalgia. "ya pops was a legend", he started. with a small smile and a far away look. stepping fully into whatever memory. "customized my first bike to look just like his".

you smile too. "the electric red fenders".

"because fuck electric blue", you both say, laughing. remembering your father's words. he was such a stickler for color and detail. a man of a particular style through and through.

the air of the night now is light. invites an intangible familiarity. the eyes don't meet so awkwardly anymore and frustrating lines about the brows even out. your fist are not as ready to ball, nails indenting so much they curl and pain their palm, and his lips are relaxed, as if they'd never think to curl in a sneer at you.

"he'd be happy you're home". and you think solo is right, but you feel there is more meaning beyond what he says. that maybe, albeit his original displeasure, he was happy too. "you need to go see him".

"i will soon".

solo nods, heading to the stairs.

"solo", you call. breathy. he turns without hesitation. "thank you"

"of course". because other options of you staying anywhere else to him, didn't exist.

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brownsugarcoffy · 1 year

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Pedro Pascal as Joel Miller in THE LAST OF US (2023-) S01E06 | “Kin”

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brownsugarcoffy · 1 year

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Okay! Now this is a good match up! Very good!😭👏🏾

Secret relationship in which Okoye is sore after a battle and Attuma comes to check in on her. He ends up giving her a massage and telling her that he's proud of her and that it's time to relax now because he admires her fierceness but will never allow her to forget to wind down and be gentle with herself.

Nakia and Shuri drop by (of course Nakia has a key to her home it just makes sense) because they usually check up after battles to let out anything that may have affected them. When they get in, they go straight to her room, figuring that she'd be in there with snacks and wine so that they could debrief per usual, but they end up hearing a soft laugh from her bathroom. They peer around the doorframe of the bathroom and don't know what they're more shocked to see: Attuma massaging her and whispering sweet nothings to her or Okoye happily letting him do it.

Shuri wanted to put an end to it immediately because she thinks he must have mind controlled her or something because in what world would Okoye allow him that close to her, but Nakia just stops her and shakes her head because she can't remember the last time Okoye shared the super soft and intimate side of herself with a man.

"Let's just go, Shuri. She looks relaxed enough," Nakia would say.

"She is," Okoye would respond, which would come out as a borderline moan as Attuma's hand pressed into a particularly tense part of her shoulder.

They'd be a bit confused as to how she knew they were there since she and Attuma were facing away from the door, but they decided they'd ask later because Attuma's hands were slowly traveling lower (because he has zero shame and worships her) and they weren't going to disturb Okoye's peace any longer.

They'd definitely pry later because they also have no shame and Okoye is definitely the big sister of the group, so annoying her about it is only protocol. She barely responds and lets them do their prying because they won't get any more information than she's willing to share.

"How long has then been going on?" Shuri would push.

"A few months."

"How did it start?" would be Nakia's question.

"Not quite sure but it happened."

The two of them would get silent, which worried Okoye slightly because that could only mean their questions were only going to grow more intrusive.

"...Is he any good?" Nakia would finally say, asking the question she and Shuri had been working up to the entire time.

Okoye would roll her eyes and stand to leave and Nakia, the expert at observation, would notice that her arm had a mark on it that very closely resembled fingers wrapped around it and she stifled a laugh as she also caught a glimpse of a similar marking on her waist where her shirt had slightly raised. She pointed it out to Shuri, who smirked.

"So, I'll take it as a yes?" Shuri would conclude as Okoye leaves the room.

#attuma x okoye

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brownsugarcoffy · 1 year

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PEDRO PASCAL as JOEL MILLER ⌙ THE LAST OF US | 1.02 INFECTED

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brownsugarcoffy · 1 year

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More Than A Woman | Masterlist

Pairing: Angel Reyes x OFC

Destiny "Desi" Maduro helps Angel and his son pick up the pieces after a recent death rocks their world. In the midst of doing so, the school psychologist navigates a rocky family life and adjusts to being thrown into the MC world.

A/N: Not me popping back up with yet another WIP lol. This is a fic that's been in the work for ages, but I've recently circled back to it and figured it's been quietly roasting long enough for me to release it out into the world haha. I'm playing fast and loose with canon (some things happened and some things didn't), so just enjoy the ride and see what happens? Hmu if you want to be added to the tag list!

Characters

Chapter 01 [releasing 01/01/23] | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03

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brownsugarcoffy · 1 year

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I think Brandon is lying and not sincere about Mackenzie. He done to many shady things, so who is to say that he ain't lying about other stuff. Jax and Mckenzie can not keep their hands off each other, so I how they eventually going to get caught if they don't calm themselves. Lol

I Don't Wanna Be Unfair | Chapter 08

Pairing: Jax Teller x OC (McKenzie Gilbert)

Summary/synopsis: Fresh off a broken engagement, McKenzie Gilbert has a one night stand with a random guy she never plans to see again. Soon after, their paths cross, which complicates several situations at hand.

Chapter warning(s): language, Brandon, smutttt (oral sex; both male and female receiving, PiV sex)

WC: ~6.3k

McKenzie slid out of her car, not seeing but knowing that Jax was watching her. He was still standing by his bike parked directly in front of his garage. Once she had traipsed over towards him, she planted a soft kiss on his lips before teasing, “Eager, aren’t we?”

Jax raised his eyebrows in challenge and led the way towards the front door. He moved to allow her in first and she playfully pushed his shoulder as she entered. When he looked back from locking the door, he only saw the swing of a few of her twists as she disappeared down the hall. Releasing a soft chuckle, he followed the path that she had just sultrily glided along. When he turned the corner to his room, he found her sitting on the bed, unclasping the strap in her heels.

“And I’m the eager one?,” he joked. McKenzie chuckled as Jax ran his eyes up and down her frame. She was barefoot now and unzipping the back of her dress.

He walked closer to her and softly asked, “You sure about this?”

She paused her unzipping and stood. Her brown eyes pierced his own and she slowly nodded her head. And then, she turned around to allow him to finish unzipping her dress. The lime green silk material hit the floor with a faint thud and she turned back around to him. Their lips met in an eager and greedy kiss. They languidly moved together, Jax leading her backwards towards the bed. Before he could lay her down flat against the bed, she lifted up and flipped them. The swift momentum took him by enough surprise that his eyes blinked as he adjusted to their change in position. She pressed her hands into his shoulders, gripping him and bracing him against the mattress. He looked up at her with a grin, enjoying the feeling of her nails lightly digging into his skin. He slipped his own shoes and socks off while their lips met again.

Soon enough, McKenzie’s kisses trailed down to his neck. In the morning, there’d be dark blemishes resembling bruises across his skin. His hands moved to her waist while hers found the belt and zipper of his jeans. Throughout their lips exploring each other, the rest of Jax’s clothes disappeared and now they were both in just their underwear. McKenzie grasped onto Jax’s chest, caressing the random stab scar here, bullet wound there. Jax’s hands traversed the hills and valleys of her frame, enjoying when his light touch caused her to flinch a bit.

Gradually, her kisses moved lower and lower until her teeth grazed the carved, defined muscles of his Adonis belt. He hissed between his hitches of breaths at the sensitivity. At the sensation of her pulling his boxers, he lifted some and allowed her to remove them.

In their previous two encounters, she hadn’t had the chance to truly admire his body. Maybe if she had, she would’ve recognized the various SOA tattoos he sported earlier. But, can’t take back the past…

So she decided to enjoy the present and really absorb just how sexy he was. The slicked back hair. The blonde goatee with hair traveling the sides of his jaw. The chiseled abs. The sinewy muscles.

His hand pressed upon the top of hers, almost in a silent, desperate signal for her to continue. In appeasing him, she glided her tongue across where her teeth had just grazed.

“Kenz,” he breathed out roughly. She looked back up at him for the first time since their lips had met and her blood ran warm with the dark desire swimming in his eyes.

She stood and found his eyes moved with her as she ascended from her bent position. Her hands found his shoulders again and he was pushed back into the mattress with her following after him. Her body was firmly pressed up against him, but only until she found herself able to wriggle out his strong embrace. She slid back down and without a second glance, took him in her mouth. His eyes immediately flew open and he lifted his head some, in order to see her. Her motions were slow and intentional, and he knew by the look in her eye through her eyelashes that she knew exactly what she was already doing to him.

He felt like he was struggling to breathe. Unable to tell up from down or what dimension he was in right now.

He placed his hand along the top of her head, guiding her, not that she needed it. If anything, his touching her was for his own benefit. So that he was grounded on earth. Because her lips and tongue were absolutely throwing him into another galaxy right about now. She picked up her pace and it took everything in him to sit still. He could just barely resist the urge to either collapse back into the pillows or lift his hips up into her mouth. Focusing on what she was doing to him right now was both disjointing him and stitching him back together.

Her free hand scratched the expanse of his abs while the other assisted in her ministrations. Everything about her was lighting his body on fire right now and he was searching and chasing for the water to salve him. She had complete control of the situation right now, something he wasn’t used to but wasn’t complaining about in the slightest.

Her movements began slowing down but her passion was still on a high. She closed her mouth tightly around his member, sucking the tension out of his body. A low groan left his lips as his hand returned to gripping her twists. She spared yet another quick glance at him through her eyelashes. If her mouth wasn’t busy, she’d probably giggle at the way his hips involuntarily rose in response to her.

When she removed her lips from him, he sighed in relief. As much as he wanted that release and for her to finish what she started, he didn’t want things to be over for them already.

McKenzie’s kisses began soaring back up his chest until they were finally eye level once again. She ground herself into him and they shared a moan at the feeling. Together, they worked on removing the final articles of her clothing; her unclasping her bra and him pulling down her panties.

Jax brought her face back up to his and kissed her again. She could feel his desire for her against her thigh, along with the desperation with which his hands roamed her. He clenched his hands under her leg and used the leverage to flip them over once again.

She yelped out in surprise and giggled in between their kisses. He began to leave his own marks across her skin as his lips traveled further down her neck, shoulders, and then her breasts. When his teeth lightly grazed over one of her nipples, her hips bucked in response, the response that Jax had been looking for.

For a moment, their eyes met in the darkness and connected. Silently, Jax asked if she was alright, if she was sure of going through with this. And without words, she spoke as if to say “we’re already here, aren’t we?”

And with that, he settled his face between her thighs and resumed his open-mouthed kissing along her skin. Soon enough, his tongue was going to work, eliciting the unholiest of moans from her. Her mind went blank from the sensation of him exploring her with his mouth. Her grip on his hair tightened as he added his fingers to bring forth more pleasure. Even, if not, for her loud moans, he could feel her appreciation for his ministrations as he felt her tighten around him.

Never halting his movements, he continued all the way through even after she found the brink of her release. McKenzie trembled underneath him as he slowly eased her back down to earth. Clouds of her euphoric haze began to finally dissipate and it was then that she could feel him right upon the brink of entering her. He looked at her for a final moment, silently asking for permission. She nods and he gives a slow, initial thrust into her.

Her legs wrapped around him as he gradually increased the speed of his movements. Just like the first two times, their movements were desperate and needy. McKenzie’s nails sunk into his skin while Jax gripped one of her legs as if it was the only thing keeping him from falling over a cliff. His head eventually fell to the side of hers as he thrust into her at a blinding pace.

It was a familiar rhythm they found themselves falling into as their pants and moans were the only noise that filled the air. This had become their normal together, frantic and frenzied. Neither of them held back as they gave the other what they wanted.

*********

McKenzie’s body felt sated and achy as she started to re-dress. Glancing at the clock, it was still in the wee hours of the morning. A sly grin painted her face as she thought about all that her and Jax had done in the hours they’d been together. She hadn’t even intended to stay so long, but one thing happened after another and one round turned into four. Given the energy spent, there were snacks and a quick, power nap in between, but even then, they simply couldn’t resist going at it one more time for the road.

“You know…” She heard Jax clear his throat, “You don’t have to leave, if you don’t want.” He was still reclined back in the sheets with his hands behind his head. He’d been watching her as she started to get dressed.

She looked back at him with a smile as she picked up her dress.

“I should probably get back before my sister calls for a search party,” she noted as she zipped up the back of her bodycon.

He nodded and McKenzie paused for a moment, attempting to decipher his unreadable expression. It wasn’t annoyance, but he also wasn’t jumping for joy. Deciding to do everything she could to make this arrangement not go left so early on, she asked him directly.

“What?”

A soft sigh escaped his lips, “It’s nothing. It’s just- I know we’re keeping this on the DL for a very good reason, but I don’t want you feeling like my dirty little secret. Fuck, then go home, and then swing by again whenever we get that itch?” Jax shook his head, displaying his dismay for the tone of the situation.

“OK, but that’s kinda what we agreed to, no?” She cracked as a joke. Really, she didn’t feel used or at least in an unequal situation where she wasn’t using him the same way he was using her. It was transactional. Consensual. But obviously something that Jax still seemed to worry about. His frown was now apparent and McKenzie paused her dressing to walk closer to the bed.

“What is it, Jax?”

He looked at her for a moment, trying to gather and order his words the way he wanted them to come out. It wasn’t happening, though. They were still sloshing around any kind of way, so instead of taking any longer to reply and creating an awkward silence, he just blurted out the first sentence that legibly formed.

“What are we doing, Kenz?”

With confusion in her features, she replied, “We’re having fun.”

“I know, but…” Suddenly, Jax was having post-sex clarity and he wondered if their arrangement was really smart, “We can’t keep this up, can we? These random hookups whenever… Surely, this doesn’t end well for either one of us?”

“And why not?” McKenzie crossed her arms, “I mean, we’re grown. We can do whatever we want. And there’s no reason why this has to end bad. All we have to do is stop when one of us says stop.” She paused for a moment, “Do you wanna stop, Jax?”

“What?”

She asked a second time, but this time more slowly, “I asked if you want to stop. You seem like you’re getting cold feet. …Or do you want this to be more than just hooking up? I don’t know where you’re going with this…”

Jax’s eyebrows rose up at the last half of her speech, “I thought you didn’t want to date.”

“I don’t. But I’m asking you,” she replied with a chuckle. She sat down at the edge of the bed and touched his leg.

“Now, I’m confused,” He responded honestly.

McKenzie sniggered again, “Jax, I meant what I said earlier. I want us to work. Whatever this is. This is me doing that. We need to be on the same page. So I’m telling you right now, I have absolutely no problem with us just having fun. It’s what I want. For us to just keep things casual. Simply fun. That’s it.”

“So using each other for sex,” Jax surmised.

McKenzie rolled her eyes, “This is a mutually beneficial agreement, not something either of us are being forced into.” And then she looked at him pointedly, “Unless you say otherwise…”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes, Jax, I’m serious! I wasn’t bullshittin’ just to get into your pants. I meant what I said then and I still mean it now. You don’t have to be afraid I’m gonna renege on our deal.”

She sighed exasperatedly, but really she was glad that they were getting this out in the air. The less chance that feelings get unnecessarily hurt.

Jax nodded in acknowledgement, some of his stress and apprehension rolling off him now.

“Well then, it’s settled,” she said as she finished getting dressed. “I’ll see you later, thanks for tonight.”

With a kiss on the cheek as her parting goodbye, she was grabbing her heels and out the door. He collapsed back onto the bed when he heard the front door shut and blew out a breath. Maybe things had been made clear between them, but there was still the feeling of unease in his stomach at what they were doing. He wasn’t quite sure how to work out what he was feeling.

“The hell did I just agree to?” He muttered with a chuckle.

*********

Jax walked into the Garden, rubbing his hands together. It was only a short distance from his bike to the entrance, but the morning air was chilly and left him seeking warmth. He nodded to Bobby and Flu who were looking through documents together over coffee. He was impressed with how early they were hitting the books. It’d been a couple of weeks since the new year was brought in and the clubs were working on securing financing with the bank for buying up the first of some commercial properties.

“Morning, Teller,” Lisa sang. She was at the bar, pouring herself a cup of joe before grabbing another mug for him.

“Hey Lise,” he greeted with a smile.

He nodded his thanks once she passed the freshly brewed beverage to him and immediately took a gulp. The kitchen door opened up and McKenzie appeared in her paramedic polyester.

“Okay, I’m off to go crash for the day,” she said in passing to Lisa.

“Oh.” Jax spouted. It had just come out, mainly from surprise at seeing her.

She looked up at him and her eyes widened upon recognition, “Hi, Jax.”

Lisa’s back was to McKenzie so McKenzie’s surprised expression formed into a flirty smirk when she noted that Bobby and Flu’s attention was elsewhere. A couple of weeks into this arrangement and Jax still found himself not knowing what to do at times. A grin escaped his face at her smirk, but other than that, he wasn’t entirely sure how to interact with her, much less around others. Should they never speak? Should they act like they just became BFFs? Should they just stick to hi’s and bye’s?

He choked out a greeting back once he realized he should probably respond to her. Nearing his lips back to his coffee cup, he hoped that saved him any awkwardness from the small pause.

Despite McKenzie explicitly stating that he could break this off whenever he wanted, he didn’t want to. Bouts of discomfort, be damned. It didn’t matter enough for him to end things before they even started. Part of him wondered if this is what it’s like to see incoming trains about to collide but unable to look away. Or if this is like when you can feel what could be a good thing happening but hesitant to jump the cliff into the unknown.

Logically, he knew the cons might stack up against the pros. Sure, they were explosive together, but what happens if someone from the clubs were to find out? What happens if Gil were to find out? What happens if Brandon were to find out? There’d definitely be questions as to when their relationship began. And Jax didn’t want McKenzie to have to go through that. She hadn’t done anything wrong, she hadn’t cheated. But Brandon surely wouldn’t see it that way and it’d only cause discord within the ranks. Was a casual fling worth that? They were adults and it was no one else’s business, but they’d both be naive to think at least some drama wouldn’t spill out from this.

Maybe, this was something they needed to reconsider. He didn’t know if “cold feet” was an accurate term to describe anything relating to a meaningless fling, but maybe they should add a little more meat to their agreement before continuing.

From the sounds of her and Lisa’s conversation, McKenzie was getting ready to leave and get some shut eye after a long, twenty four shift. It probably wasn’t the best space for them to be having this conversation, anyway. Not with potential prying ears. The only problem seemed to be that they were ripping each other’s clothes off whenever they were in an empty space alone.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, he said goodbye to them both before heading up the stairs in search of Gil. His steps came to a slow stop as he approached the lounge room. Brandon was on his phone, but gave a hesitant, greeting nod when he heard Jax.

“Teller, can I uh- talk to you for a minute?” Jax shared the same hesitance that Brandon did, but he still nodded his head, silently gesturing for the Street Wolf to continue, “I just wanted to clear the air… Maybe start from a clean slate. I was doing too much and I’m not that kind of guy. So… fresh start?”

There was a pause where Jax wasn’t sure how he wanted to respond at what sounded like an apology, but he knew any continued discord needed to be avoided. And with that, he put forth his hand, signaling for a handshake.

Brandon immediately took it and spoke, “I know I may have to earn your trust. And respect, too. But everyone’s gotta pull their weight to make this partnership work, so I’mma do my part.”

Jax’s face was unreadable, but he nodded yet again to acknowledge that he’d heard the man. His tongue clicked against his teeth as he thought over Brandon’s words in his head. He seemed sincere. There was earnestness in his face. But everything he knew about the man thus far hadn’t even put him in the realm of trustworthiness. No matter how much Jax wanted to take him for his word, he knew it was best to tread lightly. And what with the fact that he was also currently messing around with the man’s ex… Yeah, Jax needed to play it close to the vest. Someone like Brandon didn’t just lose all that ego overnight.

“Well, gotta see it to believe it, but don’t worry bro, we’re straight. There’s no reason you and I gotta have problems, y’know?”

“Exactly,” Brandon responded with a smile. He dropped his hand but before he could turn back to what he was doing, Jax grabbed his attention once more.

“But Brandon…”

He looked up.

“I’m probably not the only one or even the most important one who probably deserves an apology right about now.”

Realization set into Brandon’s features. Jax caught it before the man’s whole face hardened and then quickly reverted back to a more allaying disposition. Though reluctantly, he nodded.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he conceded before heading out of the lounge room.

Instead of lingering around himself, he decided to chill in what had become his unofficial dorm room. Sure, it wasn’t technically his, but no one else used it out of respect and making sure the SAMCRO president had a place of his own to sleep until the Redwood charter could get their own official clubhouse again. Gil and himself were supposed to be meeting to put an offer in for a couple of the ghost town properties now that the bank had all but agreed in writing that they would provide a loan for the mortgages. Jax had gotten here earlier than they were supposed to meet, which would give him time just to relax a little in his dorm room.

As he neared the door to his room, he frowned at a puzzling slight. The door was somewhat ajar despite the fact that he was sure he kept it closed whenever it wasn’t in use. And Rev had explicitly said the room was his and his only to use while he was here.

He walked closer and slowly pushed the door wider. His eyebrows rose at the sight in front of him. McKenzie lounging on his bed with the widest of smiles on her face. She smirked with a knowing look on her face as he quickly shut the door tight. And locked it for good measure.

“What’re you doing here? I thought you were going home,” he whispered.

She shrugged her shoulders, “I told Lisa I was too sleepy to drive and that I’d take a quick cat nap before hitting the road,” she chuckled, “Figured you’d come in here at some point.”

With his eyebrows still raised up to his forehead, he tread carefully over to her and declared, “You. Are. Trouble” in between soft kisses.

“Damn good trouble,” he emphasized as the kiss grew deeper.

Her hands moved to his waist and grazed over his SAMCRO belt. Desire and need pooled into their touches and the longer they went without stopping themselves, the deeper they were ready to fall over the edge together.

It was risky, them doing this here. But also exhilarating and nearly irresistible. Instead of getting himself too stuck into his own head, he let her take the lead with where this went.

Without saying a word, she finally undid his belt and pulled him towards her. Her hands unzipped his zipper and undid his button. With a silent pat, she gestured for him to rise a little so that she could slide his boxers and jeans down his legs. The silent rush of air from the momentum of being pushed elicited a chuckle from him. She didn’t completely remove his kutte and flannel, but she loosened the first few buttons to be able to explore his chest. Her eyes ran over his tattoos and along the way, she stopped to admire the purple splotches and half-moon marks that littered the terrain from their previous sessions over the past few weeks. A proud smirk rested on her face which evoked a warning glare from him. He could take off her shirt right now and find plenty of vengeful blemishes carved into her own skin. And if they had the time for something other than a quickie, he’d plant more just because he could.

Instead though, he moved some to allow her the space to undo her own clothing. His mouth ran dry as he watched her remove her panties and work pants in one fell swoop. She’d only removed them from one leg and quickly jumped back into the sack by plopping onto his lap. He watched in desire as his eyes wandered up to her thick thighs that straddled him. A soft groan escaped his lips as she impatiently ground against him, which she shut up by returning her lips to his. He roughly grabbed her hip to steady them both, but also because he was petty and expected to see a hand-shaped bruise on it later the next time they met up.

Their kiss gradually slowed into an agonizing snail’s pace while McKenzie’s attention wandered between them. She grabbed him fully into her grasp and gave a few teasing strokes before aligning themselves and sinking onto him.

She gasped at the sensation, not stopping to give herself time to adjust. Their hips met where she could feel the base of him and Jax’s soft, sensual touch didn’t help matters as his other hand snaked its way up her shirt. She began moving, bouncing, thrusting and Jax kept his lips to her to keep them from exclaiming their lewd moans beyond these four walls.

His hand slid up to her breast, twisting at her bra to get a feel for the soft mounds of skin underneath. As roughly and quietly as he could, he also began to thrust up into her, matching her stride. They never liked to be outdone by the other and so each time they fucked, it was a fight and a marvel to see how well they could keep up with each other. He smirked into their kiss at the sensation of her legs already trembling.

Their movements continued in a frantic and erotic rhythm as both his hands clenched onto her hips. He began to buck into her at an unrelenting pace that she was struggling to maintain on her own. Her thighs were on fire and she pulled out of their kiss, only to sink her teeth into his shoulder. His grunts were close to her ear, which only drove her farther into a frenzy.

She was closing in on her release and he knew it. It was becoming that much harder for her to quiet her moans even while biting him and he could feel her squeeze tighter and tighter against his dick. He was on a tightrope where he could fall into pain on one side or pleasure on the other. He freefalled into euphoria, dragging her along with him as she reached her own pulsing peak.

Her body went slack against him and his chest heaved as though he was finished with a 400m race. They rested into each other’s arms as their highs gradually descended and brought them back down to California, in this room together.

“That was…” He breathed out and chuckled at his inability to finish his own statement between breaths. McKenzie looked at him, experiencing heavy respirations herself and finished the sentence for him.

“Fun.. That was very very fun.”

She planted a sweet kiss on his cheek before dismounting him. They slowly made the moves to make themselves look presentable once again, with the duo sneaking peeks at the other while doing so.

She buttoned up his last flannel button with an almost bashful smile. Almost. Confidence was probably her middle name when it came to sex.

“Thanks for that,” she expressed while tucking her shirt back in. She could already feel the soreness of where the bruises would form on her hips from the rough clutch of his hands.

“So, you’re still okay with this? Our arrangement?”

An amused simper formed on her face, “Did me riding the shit out of you just now not clear up that I very much like this situationship?” They shared a laugh together before her tone turned more serious. “I’m good with this, Jax. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he readjusted his belt, “Yeah, I am, actually.” Apprehension about anyone finding out about this, be damned, he definitely didn’t mind the fun times they shared together in the sack. Still though, he couldn’t help but ask just to make sure they were on the same page, “So we’re still making sure that absolutely no one will know of this, right?”

She looked up with widened eyes and a frown. Jax silently cursed himself and hoped it didn’t sound like he was ashamed of their “situationship” but that was actually the furthest thing from McKenzie’s mind.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page about people not finding out. Like, not even Lisa or Sairah-”

“Yeah, we’re definitely not telling anyone. It’s no one else’s business but ours.”

Her mind didn’t even flit to whether he was ashamed of being with her or their arrangement, she just didn’t want to even think about the fallout of what might happen if anyone were to find out. Lisa and Sairah probably wouldn’t blab about it to anyone, but the less people that know, the better.

“Just us,” she muttered again for emphasis.

He nodded in agreement and put his hands in his pockets, “You realize this means we’ll have to be more careful, then?” His words were serious, but there was a melting, flirtatious smirk staring back at her. “Sex in the literal wolf’s den probably shouldn’t be a common occurrence.”

“I didn’t hear any complaints,” she cracked back but acceded with a nod.

“You definitely didn’t, but we’re literally up under everyone’s noses.”

“Yeah… It’s just that driving across town to Charming was getting tiresome and boring and I like a little spice in my life,” she winked.

“Well, who said anything about only fucking at my place?”

“I’m still living with Sairah until I can find a place of my own,” she defended.

Jax’s voice got dangerously low, “I didn’t say your place. There’s cars… Drive-in theaters… A hidden spot in the bushes if you’re into disorderly conduct.”

He took a few steps closer to her and she smoothly maneuvered herself out of his grasp, “Ohhh, you’re threatening me with a good time and you don’t want these problems,” she giggled.

“Problems?” He questioned as he watched her saunter towards the door.

“Yeah, you’ll unlock the beast and then fall in love with me. I’ll ruin you for all other women.”

She gave a little wave and a few purposeful eyelash bats before slinking out the door and going on her merry way.

**********

“Hey Rev, can we talk?” Rev looked up after turning off his bike and removing his helmet. Brandon was in front of him, with his hands flush into his pockets. Rev didn’t actually say anything, but he wasn’t making any kind of aggressive or combative display so Brandon took a few steps closer so that they were eye to eye.

“I wanted to apologize,” Rev’s eyes narrowed in slight mistrust, “You’re my VP, but even more than that, you’re my brother. This whole time, you’ve only been trying to help and I’ve been a jackass.”

Rev hummed in agreement and folded his arms against his chest.

Brandon continued, “I messed up, I know it. I’m just trying to put my best foot forward and make things right.”

The Street Wolf VP nodded, “And have you apologized to McKenzie yet?”

And Rev didn’t need for Brandon to say anything with the way his defenses rose.

“You’ve been a shit head to her. She’s not a member of this club, no, but she’s a member of this family. Look, what’s done is done. You can’t take back all the bullshit you’ve been pulling with her all this time, but for everyone’s fucking sake, man, apologize and move on.”

Brandon blew out a heavy breath and responded, “I’m trying to be better,” he confided, “I’m trying to change. This last year, I was a wreck. Stressed with everything we were doing to get out of guns and some other personal stuff… And it doesn’t excuse what I did, but you have to understand, I wasn’t myself.”

“Then why didn’t you come talk to someone? I mean, take your pick, you’ve gotta bunch of fucking brothers who you could’ve came to. Instead, you fucked up your relationship and now you’re walking around mad at the world like you’re not the one directly responsible for the consequences to your actions!”

“I know. I know, man. When I cheated on McKenzie the first time… I felt sick, man. Like, damn near puking for doing that to her. But I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know how to stop. I was ignoring my problems, mines and McKenzie’s and it just… kept happening. That’s not an excuse. I’m not trying to justify it. I know I should have, at the very least, just broken things off before going off the deep end, but we didn’t work. There would be nothing left to salvage if I came clean to her the first time. We didn’t work. We never did and we weren’t going to. I should’ve ended things instead of proposing and I can’t take that back…” Brandon rubbed the side of his face in a moment of vulnerability, “I never meant to hurt her. I know that sounds like a lie because I’ve been a complete dick, but I never meant to hurt her. And I don’t wanna keep hurting her or the club. I’m trying to be better.”

Rev took a moment to digest everything Brandon just divulged to him before speaking, “Did you tell Kenz all this?”

Brandon looking down upon hearing the question told Rev everything he needed to know.

“Maybe you should start with that,” Rev suggested, “You need to apologize to her, B. Get closure or whatever. For you and her.”

Brandon nodded, “I know. But I gotta know me and my brothers are tight, too? You’re my best friend, man.”

Rev took a deep breath, closing his eyes as Brandon’s words marinated. He never wanted to lose Brandon as a brother and he still didn’t. He truly hoped that him and McKenzie could find a path where they were at least cordial to one another. So everything could go back to the way it used to be. But for some reason, in the back of his mind, Rev couldn’t help but think he never really knew Brandon the way he thought he did.

************

McKenzie sat on the couch in the living room, attempting to concentrate on the book in her hand. Every few minutes, he mind wandered over to where her phone sat on the end table. The ringer was on and the room was otherwise silent. She would’ve heard if any notifications came through, but she still found herself fighting the urge to pick up the device.

It took another chapter before her will finally lost and the phone replaced the book in her hands. No messages. Not that it should be a surprise, but she still groaned to herself. There was no reason to be antsy. I mean, it was 2022, she could absolutely be the one to text first. And it’s not like they’d even made any concrete plans to hang out tonight anyway. For all she knew, he could have still been busy with her dad with putting in offers for ghost town property.

She knew that that’s why he was at the clubhouse yesterday morning when they had their dorm room rendezvous. And things had definitely picked up with getting business together now that the clubs were officially working together. So, she silently berated herself and determined that he hadn’t called because he didn’t want to deal with her, but simply because he could’ve just been busy.

So, she sucked it up and decided to text him.

| From McKenzie: You free? Sent at 5:23 p.m.

Short and sweet. There was no reason to hide behind pretense. They both knew why she was texting.

| From Jax: Yep. Just got out the shower, too bad you didn’t text me earlier, I would’ve waited for you Sent at 5:24 p.m.

McKenzie rose up from the couch and reached around for her slides. Another text came through as she slipped them on.

| From Jax: Should I be expecting some company tonite? Sent at 5:24 p.m.

| From McKenzie: We’ll see Sent at 5:24 p.m.

Meanwhile, she was actively cleaning up to prepare to make her way to Charming. A few minutes later, right as she was headed towards the door, the sound of keys jingling could be heard. A second later, Sairah appeared, who jumped when she noticed how close her sister was to the door.

“Damn bitch, you tryin’ to get knocked out?”

McKenzie chuckled apologetically.

“You going out?” Sairah inquired as she took off her own shoes and settled in.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go over to Evie’s for a bit. I won’t be out long,” she only felt a little bad about lying on her paramedic partner.

“Alright, have fun. Make smart choices.”

With that, McKenzie once again headed towards the door. Only until she heard her name being called again.

“Hey, Kenz?” Sairah gave a warm smile, “Happiness looks good on you. Glad to see that smile back on your face these past few weeks.”

McKenzie returned the glowing smile, “Thanks, baby sis.”

“Tell Evie I say hi. I’ll probs be sleep by the time you get back,” The young architect looked on her way into an evening nap as she lounged on the couch with the remote in her hand.

“I will, love you.”

“Love you, too!”

Giving her little sister a white lie about where exactly she was going stung a little, but it was better for everyone involved if absolutely no one knew what was going on. It was just better that way.

Soon enough, she was back at the SAMCRO president’s house and knocking on his door. She chuckled at the immediate sound of shuffling behind the door. They wore matching smug grins as they found themselves face to face.

“Back already at casa de Teller?”

“Shut up,” she threw back lightly while letting herself in.

He threw up his air quotation marks, “‘We’ll see’, huh?”

A/N: Our favorite little whores! They’ve been having a good ol’ time, huh? 🥰💦 And Brandon… Y’all think he’s being sincere with trying to make amends?🤔 We gotta lil drama and danger coming up in the next chap. Just because they’re going legit doesn’t mean the chaos ends, right? 😉

Taglist: @drabbles-mc@ocfairygodmother@youlovetkay@est1887@rebelwrites@hey-taylor-hey@brownsugarcoffy @kmhappybunny240@readsalot73 @nunya7394

#jax teller x black oc #sons of anarchy #fanfics

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brownsugarcoffy · 1 year

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I'm so happy that Jax and Mckenzie can start fresh! Although, I know Brandon is going to get in the way eventually. Brandon at least could have waited a few weeks before bring a new woman at MCKENZIE FATHER CLUB. He could been more respectful, but that goes to shows how never value Mckenzie in the first place. I wouldn't be surprised if he used her to get close to her father honestly. This was a great chapter @passionatewrites !

I Don't Wanna Be Unfair | Chapter 07

Pairing: Jax Teller x OC (McKenzie Gilbert)

Chapter warning(s): language, lightly edited because I like my writing a lil rough ‘round the edges, Brandon

WC: ~7.3k

Brandon paced the hallway as waves of anger rolled through him. Jax’s words were flowing through his mind and it only served to amp him up even more. He slammed his hand against the wall while huffing out a frustrated groan. He wanted nothing more than to walk back up those steps and give the SAMCRO president a piece of his mind. His plan was a good one, he knew that. He didn’t deserve to have his thought process silenced, especially when it could be something beneficial for everyone.

But he wouldn’t go back up there. Not when it could rock the boat and ruin this partnership before it even began. But that didn’t mean Brandon couldn’t be angry. Resentful that his ideas were discarded before even seriously considered.

And if it hadn’t been for Rev, maybe he wouldn’t have been tossed so easily to the side. If the Street Wolves VP hadn’t been mouthing off about Brandon’s personal life, maybe he would’ve been looked at with a bit more respect and seriousness. Instead, he was dismissed as if he were some immature kid bullshitting around. And the view of him probably wouldn’t change unless Rev kept his mouth shut.

Slamming his hand against the wall once more, he stalked out into the bar area looking for a moving target.

And there he was.

Slowing his steps and narrowing his eyes, Brandon's anger grew the closer he got to Rev.

McKenzie saw him first. She was leaning over the bar, in conversation with Rev. She frowned as he strode over to them.

“Rev!” Brandon barked harshly. The vice president looked back with annoyance in his features.

“What?”

“Next time you wanna give one of your little self-righteous lectures, do me a fucking favor and not have them where anyone can fucking hear them. I don’t need the club in my damn business!”

Without so much as a grunt, Brandon turned back around not even acknowledging his club brother’s tantrum.

McKenzie’s eyes narrowed and her frown grew deeper as she watched her ex stride out the side door in irritation and enmity. Rev was in the midst of continuing their conversation, but McKenzie had begun to follow Brandon.

“Wait, where you going?” Before she walked out the door that Brandon had just torn through, she heard Rev yell, “Kenz, just leave it!”

“Hey!” This time, it was her turn to yell forcefully as he continued his angered pacing. It wasn’t like it was actually burning off any of his agitation. In fact, it was like every step he took only spurred him on. She looked around and made sure they were the only ones out there before she moved in closer. “What the hell was that?! It’s one thing for you to talk to me like that, but show some fucking respect. Rev is your vice president. And he hasn’t done anything to you.”

��Hasn’t done anything to me.” Brandon repeated with a scoff. A dark smile covered his face as he shook his head. “And don’t even act like you don’t know what this is about.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You! You and Sairah and now Rev, you’re all trying to make my life hell to spite me,” He growled. “You keep talking shit about me to make me look bad, I’m not fucking stupid.”

“I haven’t said shit!” McKenzie threw her arms up in frustration. She didn’t want anything about them and their now dead relationship broadcasted for everyone to know. If anything, for once, Brandon and her had come to agreement on the matter. So, why he was so up in arms causing a scene was beyond her.

“Okay, fine, so it’s not you. But whatever they’re saying, it’s because of you. Because you can’t keep your fucking mouth shut and get over it, ” He spat. “Rev is all buddy-buddy with Teller, which means he’s probably hearing all your bullshitting and bitching secondhand. I don’t need this shit tainting my reputation and bleeding over into club business!”

McKenzie chuckled. “Is it really my ‘bullshitting and bitching’ or is it just the truth of what really happened?”

His face hardened, “McKenzie…”

“Anything that I’ve told Sairah or Rev, which isn’t much by the way, has been the truth. So if people are starting not to like you because of that, that’s because of you.”

“I thought dumping you would end this bullshit. Instead, you’re just becoming a pathetic, vindictive bitch who’s intent on making my life hell.”

“I don’t care enough about your life to try and ruin it, Brandon. You made your bed, so don’t blame me when people start having low opinions of you when they find out how low down and trifling you are. That’s not the kind of thing that instills trust in a brotherhood. So, whatever the fuck you’re mad about and blaming me or Rev or Sairah for, look in the damn mirror. I’ve done you a favor by not airing out every single thing that went down in our relationship. Especially to my father. You really think he wouldn’t wipe the floor with your face if he knew the things you put his daughter through?” Venom dripped off her words and burned the insides of Brandon. His eyes steeled as he questioned her.

“You threatening me?”

“No. I’m telling you to knock it off. You keep saying how you don’t want everyone in your business, so maybe shut the fuck up and stop picking fights about it. It’s only gonna draw attention. I’m sorry that somebody apparently hurt your precious little feelings, but that’s not anyone’s fault but your own.”

“Watch it, McKenzie,” his voice low and his face hardened.

“Or what? What exactly are you gonna do to me here of all places?” And maybe for the first time during this conversation, an ounce of fear creeped up inside her, but she pushed it down and remained patient. Once she saw he made no further move to say or do anything, she spoke again, “Exactly.”

She turned around and went to head back inside when she felt him grab her arm in a tight grip. Her body ran ice cold but she swallowed and looked into his eyes.

“Get. Your. Hand. Off. Me.”

He held on for what felt like minutes, but was only another second. She didn’t feel the need to stare him down, merely taking the win of this not going any further. She pulled away and pushed into the side door, not taking another look back. And once she was back inside, around her family, she felt safe again. She let out the breath she’d been holding, along with her guard.

********

Rev released an exasperated sigh as McKenzie stormed off after Brandon. Considering the changes he’d seen in her over the expanse of their relationship, he didn’t want her to have to be put in the position of interacting with him any more than necessary now that they were no longer together. The only reason why he hadn’t gone out after them was because he didn’t want to exacerbate the situation further. Him smacking Brandon upside the head wasn’t off the table, so he figured he’d keep his distance.

And honestly, he had no idea what Brandon was going on about. He wasn’t afraid to voice his concerns, sure, but Rev didn’t go out of his way to purposefully gossip and spread rumors about anyone, Brandon included. The only recent encounter he could think of that might’ve peeved the man off was when Rev confronted him the other day. An event that Jax has inadvertently been a witness of.

He sighed to himself and headed towards the stairs to get a better idea of Brandon’s mood. Jax was the only other person upstairs, most of everyone else enjoying the downtime before a new year was ushered in. The lounge room door was wide open and Rev found him diligently at work with getting the remaining paperwork in order for their upcoming affairs.

He tapped on the ajar door and sauntered in with a careful smile.

“Hey, man.”

“Rev,” Jax greeted, “What’s up?”

“You got a second?”

Jax’s eyebrows rose at the question, taking in the man’s withdrawn demeanor. He put down the paperwork, “Yeah, what’s up? Something wrong?”

“Nah,” Rev shook his head, “Just… did Brandon say something to you while he was up here?”

Jax’s face fell. A conversation he didn’t want to have. It felt bizarre enough to have another club’s member come to him about a potential game plan. They were partners, sure, but they were still two separate clubs with a hierarchy existing in each. Brandon coming to him, of all people, about this supposed third party to bring into their plans could potentially step on toes. And that’s what it looked like it was doing. Jax sat straight, ready to defend himself and clarify that the plan was brought to him and not hatched with Brandon without input from the clubs.

He didn’t know that that wasn’t why Rev was asking about Brandon, but he opened his mouth to clarify the situation anyway.

“Look, man. We had a discussion. He brought a plan to me, one that I basically brushed off and said should be brought up when we all meet together. Nothing more, nothing less. He got all bent out of shape, worried about what people may have been saying about him, I don’t know.”

And to that part, he shrugged, because he found it both callow and egotistical of Brandon to bring up a concern about whether his personal shit was influencing Jax’s rejection of his proposal.

Rev nodded slowly at Jax’s words, taking in the fact that Brandon had gone over both his head and Gil’s head about whatever kind of idea he suggested to Jax. He also took note of the mention of him “worried” about what other people are saying about him.

“I guess I shouldn't be surprised.” He commented.

“Did I… cause something? The last thing I want is to step on any toes or cause any riffs, bro. That’s why I just dismissed the idea and nipped it in the bud. So that it wouldn’t look like I was overstepping boundaries.”

Rev shook his head dismissively, “Nah, it’s nothing like that. You shouldn’t have been put in that position to begin with. He just made that comment about people saying shit about his personal stuff, that’s it.” A beat. “Which I guess he has, at least, somewhat of a point. The last thing we need is drama and tension from personal shit so I’ll try to keep a lid on it. That conversation you heard earlier shouldn’t have happened here.”

Jax chuckled, “Bro, I’m the last person to judge about domestic problems. Trust me, SAMCRO has our own soap opera shit. That’s what makes us family. Doesn’t change things, and we’re not gonna renege on our deal just because of a little drama. We’re good.”

“Good to hear,” Rev countered, “And you’re good, too. About whatever fucking plan he’s got, you were right to dead that shit. ” Rev kept his lips shut about the fact that he and Gil had no idea about whatever Brandon was concocting. Teller may have been cool about a little relationship drama, but it didn’t look good for this club’s leadership to be unaware of a member’s actions and clandestine scheming. Still though, he couldn’t help but chuckle now at how pissed Brandon was from whatever transpired between him and Jax. At the thought, he voiced it, “Whatever you told him, it pissed him off. That’s what his ass gets.”

Jax laughed along with him. “Can’t really say it did a whole lot of good if he’s off pouting about it. To be honest though, he was already on the defense when he saw McKenzie in here. Almost like he was looking for a fight.”

“McKenzie?” Rev questioned.

“Yeah, we were talking when he came in.”

Rev nodded at the bit of information, but didn’t comment on it. Jax provided an explanation, nonetheless, making sure not to let anyone in on their previous, though recent, history. “Damn muffler burns, I was getting medic advice about how to get rid of ‘em without scarring.”

“Ah.” Rev merely said. “Anyway, just wanted to make sure we were good, yeah?”

Jax stood from his chair and embraced Rev in a half-hug, half-handshake. “We’re good, man.”

“You coming to the New Year’s Eve party tomorrow, right?”

“Yep! Lisa said it’s mandatory, even invited our Red Woody crew to join in on the fun.”

Rev chuckled and pointed a finger at Jax, “You learn quick. If Queen Lisa decrees her demand, you have no choice but to abide.”

They shared another laugh before Rev left him to finish his paperwork. Once he returned back to the lower level of the Garden, he was met with McKenzie who had just walked back inside. She looked more agitated than before she had gone after Brandon.

“Hey, you good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. B, he…” She trailed off in irritation and rolled her eyes.

Rev’s spine straightened, “He didn’t do anything, did he?”

“No, he just…” She trailed off again, not allowing herself to finish her sentence. Rev peered down at his surrogate sister, observing her demeanor. She didn’t necessarily look frazzled or shaken, but she seemed a bit unsettled. Annoyed, but also a little miffed. He wasn’t sure what to make of her expression.

“Kenz..” he pried.

“I’m fine, really. I just told him to back off. I meant what I said, whatever problems we’ve got have no business interfering with the club. Whether he’ll actually listen to what I said remains untold, but I let him know that him flying off at you like that wasn’t cool.”

“You didn’t have to go out there at all, sis.”

McKenzie sighed, “This is exactly what my dad meant about our personal problems causing trouble. You’re the VP. He can’t go around talking to you like that.”

“Look, I spoke to Teller,” the words gained McKenzie’s attention and shut her up as Rev continued, “Apparently, he was trying to sell him some stupid ass plan and got mad thinking that Jax doesn’t like him because of his drama with you or whatever. Honestly, it had nothing to do with you at all. Just him on a fucking ego trip because he got shot down,” Rev explained.

McKenzie nodded as the context became clear surrounding everything. It was convoluted and the stupidity of it all was beginning to wear down on her. She closed her eyes for a minute to ground herself from all the heaviness that’d been beating down on her these past few months.

“What’s wrong?”

She sighed, “Nothing… I’m just tired of him.”

Rev scrunched his face, “Jax?”

“No, dummy,” McKenzie punched his arm, “Brandon. I’m tired of his shit. I’m tired of the miserable ass person I am around him. I’m tired of feeling weak and worn down by him. That’s not who the fuck I am, so why am I letting myself brood over him even after we broke up?”

A proud, reassuring smile covered Rev’s face as he let her continue.

“He chose this. And he’s done his fair amount of shit. But he doesn’t get to choose how I react to him or how I live my life. I’m done hiding because of him.”

“That’s my sis.” Rev wrapped her up in a big bear hug. “She back, y’all! Took her fifty-eleven years, but she’s here!” He yelled to no one in particular between the regulars and new faces that had begun to crawl in at the bar in this early hour.

“Shut up!” she sniggered.

He ignored her, placing a kiss on her forehead while walking her towards the bar, “So what’s next for Kenz 2.0?”

“Well, I’m going to this damn New Year’s Eve party tomorrow before Lisa skins my head. Shit, this is my bar, too. I’m tryna get lit for once.”

“That’s what I’m trying to hear!”

***********************

Jax dismounted his bike and shoved his hands into his kutte pockets to shield them from the night’s chilly air. He could hear the party already hopping inside, not surprised when you considered an event that was dominated by a bunch of bikers.

As he walked closer to the door, he was met with a familiar face who was also heading towards the entrance.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He grinned.

McKenzie slowed her steps so that they were walking in tune with one another. “At my family’s bar? On a holiday no less?” She flashed him with a teasing smile and then an appreciative one after he held open the door for her to walk through.

“Can’t lie, darlin’, wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. Much less in a dress.”

He’d never seen her in anything but either a tee with jeans or her paramedic polyester. His eyes raked over her, enjoying the view of her curves accentuated in the silk lime green bodycon dress.

“And somehow I knew that you would show up in that same ol’ flannel with those impossibly pristine Air Forces.”

He didn’t know what to make of the vibrant mood she had found herself in. It caught him off guard but also mesmerized him. The glow of both her skin and her aura was an enchantment he couldn’t pull himself out of. He couldn’t do anything but follow after her as she made her way towards the bar. The crowd was alive with every single member of both charters present, along with several patrons coming to have a good time.

“There you are!” Jax heard Sairah greet her older sister. “How the hell did I leave from work and still make it here before you?”

“Well, excuse me for taking the time to get myself all dolled up!”

Sairah laughed, her eyes landing on Jax, behind McKenzie. Her eyebrow rose and she looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Hey there, Teller.”

“Sairah, nice to see you again.”

“Did you two come together or…?”

Jax shook his head. McKenzie jumped in before he spoke, shrugging and then saying, “Nah, we just got here at the same time.”

And even though that was true, it still felt like they had come here together. Obviously, that wouldn’t be something shared if it were true, but there was something comfortable and pleasant in the way that they walked in here together.

“Well, the new prospect’s manning the bar tonight. Get you guys some drinks.”

Sairah called over the young man who promptly went and grabbed a beer for Jax and a French cocktail for McKenzie. As they got their drinks, another voice called for the prospect.

“Hey X, my girl here needs another drink.”

A lump formed in McKenzie’s throat as she took in the sight of Brandon across the bar with his arms latched around the same girl that was lounging on the couch at his place. His grin was smug, but McKenzie refused to acknowledge it. She vied to simply turn back around and sip on her cocktail. She could feel Jax’s eyes on her, but she wouldn’t turn his way either.

“It’s like he’s begging for me to molly wop his ass.”

“It’s fine, Sairah. Surely, you weren’t expecting him to stay home, were you?”

“No, but he knows what he’s doing.” The younger Gilbert sister looked back, staring daggers at the new couple.

“It’s whatever. Fuck him. We’re celebrating a new year. One that doesn’t involve him any more than it needs to.”

Sairah huffed, but couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up her face, “Well damn, I guess I can drink to that.” They clinked their drinks together, but Sairah couldn’t help but add, “If you want me to trip her or accidentally spill a drink on her though, just say the word.”

They laughed together and chatted for a minute or so, before Sairah excused herself, joining Chibs at the booth near the pool table.

Jax had been quietly sipping his beer as he watched and listened to the sisters interact. Now, as McKenzie hopped up onto the stool that Sairah just vacated, his face was unreadable. It was the first time that she actually looked at him since they’d greeted Sairah. She could tell from his face that he’d been watching her.

“You got something to say, Jax?”

If it had been a few days beforehand, he would’ve detected venom and animosity in her words, but now all he heard was amusement and a little flirtatiousness.

Yeah, definitely a side of her he hadn’t seen before.

That unreadable expression on his face was something of allurement and amazement as he took in her essence. He’d almost forgotten that she asked a question.

“Nah, I don’t, darlin’.”

She nodded, keeping her eyes on him. Curiosity sparked in them.

“I heard you had a talk with Brandon.”

He let out a huff of air before he answered, “Yeah, a real winner.”

She giggled at the crack and his mind found no barriers in joining in on her laughter. It took her a few tries to rein it in, but she was too tickled at his words to stop on the first try. Meanwhile, he found her laugh infectious even if his words weren’t all that funny. At least not as funny to warrant her cackles.

When she finally found herself able to stop, she drew in a deep breath.

“It wasn’t because of me, was it?”

“Huh?”

“Rev said it was an ego thing. That it wasn’t really about me. But then again, he doesn’t know about us. So I’m asking you. The fact that you don’t like Brandon, it’s not because of me, right? Because of what we did?”

Jax shook his head, “No, no. To be honest, even if I didn’t know that he was not only shitty but dumb to mess things up with you, I still wouldn’t think too highly of him as a person. You definitely don’t have to worry about us being BFFs anytime soon. Although, I’m pretty sure you think he and I are the same, anyway... But either way, that’s not gonna affect things with how we work if that’s what you’re worried about.” He remembered Rev’s earlier comment about things bleeding into club business and he felt the need to allay her concern about things causing tension and problems.

Meanwhile, McKenzie’s face fell at the comment about her thinking Brandon and Jax were one and the same. She deserved that. She’d been biting with her words towards him, a lot of it, he didn’t even deserve.

“I’m sorry, Jax. I was a total bitch to you. And you’re right. I don’t really know you. I just- I saw you at that bar, hitting on all those women, failing too,” she added with a chuckle, “I guess I just associated that with him, but that was so unfair to you.”

Jax had a sheepish grin on his face, “Can’t lie, wasn’t my best night. I was kinda going through something of my own. Something good came out of it, though,” he winked at her, her cheeks warming up at the innuendo, “And maybe I was looking for someone to fuck my frustrations out on the same way you took all your shit out on me. You weren’t 100% right, but I can’t act like there wasn’t some truth to what you were saying.”

“Yeah, like the fact that you suck at picking up women.”

“It was an off night!”

And just like that, they were back to snickering together after the serious turn in their conversation. Later on, when they’d reflect on this night, they would have trouble recalling the last time they’d been smiling and laughing so hard.

“Just when I thought we were becoming friends.”

“Mhmmm, although I don’t think friends is the right word yet. I’d like to think we’re on the way there, though.”

And then, they merely gazed at each other. Considering each other’s faces and carousing in the not-enemies, but not-friends space that they were in as of now. McKenzie ignored the weird, swirling sensation in her stomach, while Jax refused to acknowledge the elevation in his heart rate. His eyes flickered to her lips and smiled his own smile, taking in the soft one planted on her lips.

“Yeah, maybe one day.”

Sairah’s voice snapped them from their trance.

“I’m sorry, but can you believe his ass? Screwing a random chick is one thing, but parading a new girlfriend the same month you break up with your fiancee is a bitch ass move.”

McKenzie simply laughed at her baby sister’s antics. Who would have thought that a shitty broken engagement would bring out the protective factor in someone who stuck to herself and was on most occasions, reserved and peaceful? The same way she was looking on at her sister in enthrallment, Jax was looking on at McKenzie with the same affection, tenfold. He still wasn’t sure what to make of the McKenzie that sat in front of him, but he was glad to see the shift that led to her shining radiance. If this was anything like the McKenzie before her broken relationship, she could see how anyone would fall for her.

“Hey, prospect! Get us some more drinks!” Sairah called out.

When their drinks were renewed, Jax took a step back to excuse himself, “I’m uh- gonna see if I can find Rev and Gil.”

The sisters both nodded at each other and Sairah took the spot that Jax was just standing in.

“You two seem cozy,” Sairah teased.

McKenzie rolled her eyes while trying to keep a straight face.

“What? I’m just saying. Girl, you ain’t that funny but y’all were over here heeheeing and hahaing like Bernie Mac was on stage.”

“Sairah…”

The younger Gilbert sister threw her hands up in defense.

“Can you even fathom the fallout if anyone were to find out we were hooking up?” McKenzie asked. It was posed as a hypothetical question, despite the fact that the two had indeed already hooked up.

“Well, then stop looking at him like you wanna ride him six ways to Sunday.”

McKenzie’s eyes widened at her sister’s comment. She reached over to thwack her arm.

“Ow! What? I’m just saying. Man, we thought Brandon was acting like a lil bitch boy before. He finds out the SAMCRO prez is fucking his ex-”

“Sairah!”

“Alright, alright. Fine,” She held her hands up in defense with an amused simper still planted on her face.

McKenzie, meanwhile, sat back in her seat and hoped she didn’t seem as flustered as she felt. She finished the rest of her cocktail and found Sairah’s eyes were still on her as she placed the glass back down.

“There is kind of a vibe between you two, though,” she remarked, “Or maybe I’m just happy to finally see that thousand watt smile back on your face.”

Meanwhile, Rev and Jax were settled in conversation at a booth farther away from all the partying.

“Sacramento’s like an hour away. You’re telling me you’ve never been to a Kings game?”

Jax shrugged, gulping his beer before answering, “I’m more of a football fan to be honest. But even then, I’ve never been to a live game before.”

Rev shook his head, “We definitely need to go, maybe make it a group trip. I’m telling you, watching it on TV is one thing, but being in a stadium or arena is a whole different experience.”

“Sounds good.”

“Shit, we got a run at the end of the month in Vegas. Maybe we’ll hit up a Raiders game,” Rev threw back his whiskey, “I’ll have to see if-”

“Rev!” Both men looked up as Brandon approached them with the girl he came with on his arm. Rev winced at the volume of the man’s voice, hearing the drunkenness in it.

“Yeah, man?”

“I’d like you to meet my girl, Pauletta.”

Jax’s eyes widened while Rev’s narrowed.

“Your girl?,” he pressed. To which Brandon responded with a triumphant smile and nod.

“Yup.”

Rev threw him an exasperated glare as he rubbed the side of his face. Brandon immediately picked up on the tension in Rev’s expressions and turned to Pauletta.

“Baby, why don’t you go get me another drink, yeah?” He squeezed her hip in encouragement and accepted the clumsy kiss on his cheek as she assented to his request.

Rev rolled his eyes, but waited until she had walked away before opening his mouth.

“Girl? As in you’re claiming her?” At the end of the day, Brandon was single. But it’d been less than a month since he ended things with McKenzie. Pair that with his recent outbursts, it looked intentional and messy to be parading out a supposed established relationship in front of her and everyone else.

“Yeah,” Brandon responded sharply, “She’s not up my ass, she actually listens to me, she’s a beast in the s-”

Rev rose from his seat, “Be fucking respectful.” Jax sat back a bit, but said nothing, not wanting to poke his head in business that wasn’t his. Regardless of how he personally felt, getting involved would only make things messier. “You got someone who makes you happy? Fine. But don’t act like you parading her around here is anything less than a dick move.”

“Last time I checked, I wasn’t looking for permission, Rev. I’m single. Sooner or later, everybody’s gonna have to get on board with the fact that I can do whatever I want,” Brandon shook his head and looked back up at Rev again, “Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I was out of line talking to you like that, but you can’t tell me what to do regarding my personal life. You’re my brother. Figured you’d be happy for me…”

Brandon walked away, searching for his girl.

As Rev sat back down, Jax couldn’t find much to say about what he’d just witnessed. Instead, he just gave a low whistle before chugging the rest of his beer.

Rev shook his head remorsefully, “I swear I don’t even know who that guy is. Not anymore, anyway.”

He blew out another breath. Before letting an uncomfortable bout of silence permeate their space, Rev picked back up their previous conversation to fill the space.

************

After partaking in some dancing with both her dad and Sweets, she was back at the bar to get off her feet. She switched her drink of choice to champagne and nursed the flute as she got lost in her own head. Her sister’s comments aside, there was something between her and Jax tonight. The playfulness. The giggling. The wink. Was it in her head or was it real? Was this just who he was as a person and she was only just now seeing it now that she wasn’t hailing insults down on him constantly? She didn’t know.

She was struck out of her thoughts at the sound of a hesitant, soft voice calling her name.

“Hey, McKenzie…”

She turned to the side and her eyes widened at the sight of Pauletta in front of her.

“Uh, hey…” She wasn’t even entirely sure of her name and she didn’t really know what else to say other than return her greeting. She looked around and spotted Brandon speaking with Rev and Jax. Her eyes bounced back to Pauletta as the unassuming woman spoke again.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if me being here makes things uncomfortable or awkward for you. I know you and B ended things not too long ago and I know you’ve gotta be thinking that we’re probably moving too fast, but he’s been really really amazing to me. I mean, you’ve gotta know, you were with him for all those years.”

“I’m sorry, wait. You guys are like… together together?”

A look of confusion passed over Pauletta’s face before her smile lifted again, “Well, yeah. He asked me when we were on our Christmas trip. I honestly didn’t think he was ready to be in a serious relationship yet considering,” she gestured towards McKenzie, “but he really opened up to me. Told me all about you guys and how he was still struggling but really wanted to take things seriously with me. I mean, we’re taking it slow, but he says he’s in this for the long haul.”

McKenzie felt simultaneously sucker punched and not surprised at all that her ex had twisted the truth to yet another person. A person who actually seemed sweet albeit aloof.

“Oh. Well, I guess I just didn’t realize it was that serious.” From the corner of her eye, she could see Sairah stalking over towards them. And from behind Pauletta, Brandon could be seen making his way over with a confused grimace on his face. “But, I mean, I’m glad you guys are happy.” The words were hollow and held no sincere meaning, but McKenzie had been guideless throughout the conversation not really knowing what to say anyway.

Soon enough, Brandon had made it over and immediately wrapped one of his arms around Pauletta’s waist. He looked between them and queried, “So, what’s going on here?”

Sairah arrived and McKenzie immediately grabbed for her hand, keeping her sister by her side.

“Oh nothing. I was just clearing the air with McKenzie. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t making things awkward by me coming here with you. But we’re good.” She beamed at McKenzie and then up at Brandon while leaning closer into his arms.

“Good,” he said tightly. He gave a loving look before glancing towards McKenzie.

She cleared her throat and spoke, “Yeah, I didn’t realize you guys were now in a relationship. Congratulations.”

Somehow, she found a way for the words not to come out as gritted as they sounded in her mind. It didn’t necessarily sound sincere, but she didn’t sound as hateful as Sairah looked right about now.

She grasped tightly to her hand in the hopes of grounding both of them.

“Thanks,” he simply said, “We’re, uh, gonna go back to our seats.”

And, so they left. And now the air didn’t feel as heavy as it did seconds ago.

She felt Sairah rubbing up and down her arm and looked over when she heard her ask, “Are you okay?”

McKenzie swallowed thickly and actually thought about her answer. She was surprised as she found herself honestly responding, “Yeah.”

She continued while nodding, “Weirdly enough, yeah.” With a shrug, she added. “I mean, he’s free to do whatever he wants.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he gets to flaunt it at our clubhouse. And then the nerve of her to come confront you like that, fake ass bitch. She can act as she sweet as she wants, she knows how messy it was to come over with her fake concern.”

The older Gilbert sister chuckled, “It’s fine, Sairah. He can do whatever he wants.” Her eyes scanned the room, flickering away from the new couple and over towards Jax and where he was drinking and laughing with Rev, “And so can I,” she murmured.

Sairah sighed, “Alright. But just say the word and he won’t see the New Year.”

She left it at that and lured her sister back out onto the dance floor. The night wore on and midnight drew nearer. McKenzie was surprised by the amount of times she ended up at Jax’s side. The amount of her time that he sought her out. And maybe it wasn’t intentional but it was still something she noticed. He wasn’t much of a dancer, but he indulged her in one mid-tempo track where he mainly just stepped side to side as she surrendered herself to the music. They had a couple of Jello shots with Ace and Juice before she switched her drinks to water for the rest of the night. Now, they were in a booth together with Rev, who was getting ready to make his exit.

“A’ight, think I’mma head home.,” he adjusted his kutte as he got out of the booth.

“Strip club,” McKenzie coughed. It was less than half an hour before midnight and she knew he was probably hoping to steal a New Year’s kiss from the girl he’d been flirting with that worked at Mons Venus World.

“Shut up.” Rev muttered with a grin before clasping Jax’s shoulder and saluting them both goodbye.

He didn’t get far before he came up on Brandon and Pauletta who were preparing to walk past him.

Brandon nodded towards the exit, “You heading out?”

“Yeah,” he simply said before looking at Pauletta, “Nice to meet you.”

Pauletta smiled widely, “It was nice meeting you all, too. And it was nice to see you again, McKenzie.” She said as she looked over Rev’s shoulder towards where McKenzie and Jax sat.

McKenzie flashed a weak smile back and went through the extra effort of sending a wave her way.

Brandon and Pauletta headed towards the bar and Rev sent a sympathetic smile McKenzie’s way before heading out and rushing out his final goodbyes before taking off. McKenzie and Jax looked at each other and silently agreed to part ways towards different areas of the Garden. It was one thing for them to be hanging out in the midst of others, but they didn’t want anyone getting any ideas by them hanging out all by their lonesome. Jax veered off to where Opie was and McKenzie made her way back to Sairah. There was a little photo booth towards the front of the Garden with decorative glasses, hats, and other New Year’s Eve themed trinkets. They took selfies together and even forced Gil and Lisa into a few shots. None of them were much into social media, but they figured these would be fun photos to look back on. Lisa kept them to put into a scrapbook while McKenzie and Sairah simply sent the pictures to their phones.

McKenzie was setting a silly one with the four of them as her phone background as she looked up and saw Jax exiting towards the side entrance. She looked back down at her phone and saw that it was four minutes til midnight.

She wasn’t sure what compelled her to go after him, but her feet were moving before her mind registered the steps. You would think she’d learn her lesson, come to the realization that nothing good could possibly come from the two of them. But she still kept going. The night air smacked her something good considering she was in a sleeveless dress that was several inches above her knees. Jax was walking towards his bike and she could see his hand raise as he lit a cigarette to his mouth.

The steps she took taking after him consisted of ignoring every thought in her head telling her to run in the opposite direction. Once she reached close enough, she grabbed onto his arm with a little more force than she meant to. His cigarette nearly fell out of his hand and he turned around with a bewildered expression.

“Oh,” he released as he realized who had grabbed him. He smiled but looked back at the clubhouse in confusion. The quiet outside allowed them to hear the booming music and cheering inside. His eyes veered back to her and they traced all over her as he silently tried to read her.

“You okay?”

“I don’t know. I mean-” McKenzie chuckled. “Yeah.”

Jax returned the chuckle while his eyes remained on her. When she said nothing else, he ventured, “So….”

“You wanna get out of here?”

Her words were rushed as if they were chasing his “So…”. As if she was waiting for his prompt. He looked at her and then looked down.

“I, uh- I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he looked back up at her with tender eyes, “We can’t keep doing this, darlin’. We can’t keep falling into bed every time you need a distraction.”

McKenzie shook her head, “This isn’t that.” There was conviction in her words and sincerity in her eyes as she spoke. “This isn’t me looking for a distraction. This is me having fun with you tonight and not wanting that fun to end,” she reached for his hand and hoped she hadn’t terribly misunderstood what they shared tonight: the flirting, the times he sought her out, the connection that had sparked. “If you really don’t want to do this, that’s fine,” she waited a few seconds and watched as he watched her, more than likely seeking to confirm the veracity of her words, “Although I’m pretty sure you want this just as much as I do, if the way you’ve been looking at me all night is any indication.”

His eyes flickered to her lips and then back up to her eyes.

“Last time didn’t end so well. Who’s to say tonight doesn’t end the exact same way?” He was trying so damn hard to fight it, but his eyes grew darker and his voice rougher.

Inside, the one minute countdown had begun. Though muffled, they could both hear the jumbled voices of everyone inside cheering “60, 59, 58…”

“Because we say it doesn’t. Because this isn’t like last time. Because this time, we both get to set boundaries on how exactly we want this to go. I’m not asking for a ring or a relationship. Hell, that’s the last thing either of us need. I’m just asking for one night of fun. Maybe several nights of fun. But only if you’re down for it. We get to set the rules. Together.”

Jax felt his throat go dry as her hand crept up his chest.

“39, 38, 37…”

“And you’re sure this isn’t because of Brandon? Because of him and his new girl?”

She didn’t even flinch at the mention of him. In fact, she moved even closer to Jax.

“He’s pretty much the last thing on my mind right now.”

“25, 24, 23…”

He allowed her words to wash over and his eyes searched hers, probing for any signs of deception. He licked his lips again and reached for her hand that was grasping onto his chest.

“10, 9, 8…”

“So is that a yes?”

“5, 4, 3…”

Jax broke out into a smile and grabbed ahold of her arms. Their lips met in hunger and yearning as screams of “Happy New Year!” could be heard from inside. Their kiss drowned out her excited squeal as he lifted her up by the back of her legs. Her arms were wrapped behind his neck, holding onto him as he takes a couple of steps towards his bike.

Of course, that pesky need for air arose and McKenzie almost wanted to pout when their lips separated. Jax chuckled as he lightly let her down, “We really shouldn’t be doing this here.”

Anyone could walk out at any second and there’d be explaining to do if it was anyone from either club.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she conceded and took a step back. “I should probably also drive. If I go on your bike, they’re gonna be wondering where the hell I’m at and why my car’s still here.”

Jax nodded and placed another light kiss on her lips. Then, he gestured towards the Garden. “Go say goodbye. I’ll see you there.”

And just because she couldn’t resist, she pecked him with another kiss and practically hopped towards the clubhouse. If Jax wasn’t in his own infatuated stupor, he would’ve laughed instead of being stuck still in space for those few moments. It wasn’t until he heard the door closing that he shook himself out of it and mounted his bike.

Logically, he knew there was trouble to be had and fallout that could occur if things went sideways. There were umpteen different reasons and umpteen different ways this could go off the rails.

But he couldn’t find it in him to care about a single one. He wanted this. And so did she. And that was all that mattered in the moment.

A/N: Whewww that was so fun to write lol. As you can see, there’s now a major shift in not only McKenzie, but also McKenzie and Jax’s relationship. Let’s see what happens next on their journey. Hint: the next chapter starts back at Jax’s house hehe

Taglist: @drabbles-mc@ocfairygodmother@youlovetkay@est1887@rebelwrites@hey-taylor-hey@brownsugarcoffy @kmhappybunny240@readsalot73

#jax teller #sons of anarchy #jax teller x black oc #fanfics

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