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b1gf4ggot
𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖛𝖆
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I need to delete this app. It fucks me every time I get on here. *shreds* what semblance of normalcy I piece my life back into every. Single. Time.
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I dont't distance myself from people
to teach them a lesson, I distance myself
because I finally learned mine.
-miracleink
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I always get my hopes high with you. I always think you will change if I beg enough, if I cry enough. But you don’t change. You’re always cruel and cold. After sweet moments you always give me a cold shower. I can’t see the line between reality and illusions anymore. It pains me to have you in my life. In what kind of viscous circle we are? I cannot escape you…
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You made me believe.
You made me feel seen.
You made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that finally, after so long, I had someone.
Someone who understood me. Someone who wanted me for me.
Someone that would shield me and protect me and love me because I deserve it.
Because I’m worthy.
You made me feel safe.
You made me feel special. Beautiful. Like I’d found a kindred spirit. You listened, you observed and made me feel so good, made me feel so happy. Made me dream about things I’d long since given up on.
You gave me hope. Hope that I was loveable. Hope that I was deserving. Hope that I wouldn’t be alone forever. Hope that I was worth getting to know and worth the effort.
You gave me hope that I could be enough.
That just once, I was enough.
I should have known it was too good to be true.
I should have known you were too good to be true.
I should have known you were just another person holding a knife at my back.
I should have known that I am not worthy of that kind of love.
I should have known that it was a lie.
That you were a lie.
That I was lying to myself by believing anything you made me feel.
I want to tear my heart from my chest and cut it open. Find out what has gone so wrong inside me.
I hate you, I’d tell it.
My heart, I hate you.
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a soft love. a sweet love. a safe love.
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“I hope I haven’t already driven past my greatest moments.”
— Rudy Francisco, from Helium
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You’re allowed to hold onto things so hard and make them mean so much more than what they actually meant, but when I hold on to something that was meant exactly how it was said and YOU KNEW how it would affect me, I’m the one with “all the shit”
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[Text Id: I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time,another place.]
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I don’t know if my dreams about you are the best, or the worst. On one hand I see you, hold you, kiss you, and it’s the best. On the other, I wake up and the pain of it being over is the worst.
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