I think the reason I vibe with Theo so much, general similarities in life style and also being an asshole aside, is that he’s the only instance of non religious internalized homophobia I’ve ever seen in media. like every single time anyone wants to talk about the self hatred gay kids go through they make it about god, and I get it that makes sense. But Theo is this kid from New York City, whose connection with religion is just his mother adverse childhood experiences and his fathers spiritualism. Theo is the child of two educated urban artists. He very much Isn’t the closeted suburban son-of-the-preacher gay kid that is so often the go to for representations of internalized homophobia. But he still hates himself, it’s still a very important part of his character. It’s not some superficial fear that is dismissed early on under the pretense of an accepting community. Theo is an unreliable narrator for a lot of reasons but a big one is his constant war against his own desire, his desire for maternal affection, his desire for normalcy, his desire for a relationship that fulfills him, his desire for honest connection with another person. He gives into these desires repeatedly throughout the novel, but he cant admit to himself (or to us, the reader) that he wants these things. Theo steals the painting, takes this representation of his mother, of love, of connection to others past the boundaries of time and death, and spends the entire novel refusing to acknowledge why. This side stepping around his own wants doesn’t have anything to do with god, if anything it has to do with us, the reader, watching Theo as he gives in to desire. A lot of the vagueness around Theo and Boris’s relationship exists because this is Theo telling us about it. He can tell us that they have sex, he just cant tell us that he wants it. He can run away, cross the country, to move in with Hobie a man he knew for what? 6 months? but he can’t tell Hobie he wants to stay. And yet he writes it all down, gives his life to us, shows us these details and lets us put it together. Theres the kiss, and the unspoken I love you. the entire novel is just half confession after half confession. its an uncomfortableness with having your motivations understood that is just so familiar, so easy to sink into. It’s the complete separation between action and motive, and the security that that separation gives, that makes Theo such a real character. Theres no sense of sin in all of this, nothing that says that the action itself is wrong, just a deep deep fear of being understood coupled with a longing for that same understanding. 

Good morning orphaned art thieves, bisexual Slavic polyglots, gay furniture makers, brain damaged redheads, Jewish men who work for the mob, alcoholic failed actors, widows who collect Yorkshire terriers, nerdy weebs who hate sailing, and anyone who crashes an engagement party by dragging the groom to Amsterdam and getting into a shoot-out over a priceless work of art

Tgf as tumblr posts

domino tipping meme: carel fabritius painting a bird in 1654 leads to me crying to your silent face by new order at 3am

Aneurin Barnard as Boris Pavlikovsky in The Goldfinch (2019)

Original art by me. Please like + reblog if you use.

i miss him so much

Good morning to retrospective first person narrators, pupils of Rembrandt, vegetarian ex-prodigious gingers, Ukrainian Émigrés in high heeled boots, Deadbeat dads, Accidental addicts and art thieves, women of the Upper East Side, Furniture Dealers acting under great misconceptions, Gay little dogs named after alkyl nitrites, Blonde girls who beard, Gyuri, Mentally ill people on boats, Gothy teens, MILFs, Orphans, Russian language students, and the non-religiously repressed.

you're not eating. im telling you we saved a bunch of paintings and everything's ok and life's worth living and you're not eating.

i think theo decker is a gay man and not bisexual reasons: - he was repulsed by the idea of romance in his heterosexual marriage - the only reason he loved pippa was bc he connected her to his mom - the only person hes really properly been in love with is boris - gay men can think they like women (similar to lesbian comphet) - there are more but i cant word them right - boreo is canon king

·•★𝕭𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖆 𝖘𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖗, 𝖆𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 - 𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖘𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍 𝖔𝖋 𝖘𝖚𝖗𝖛𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌★•·

𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖆 𝖇𝖞 @tvarinich

I just love how protective Boris is of Theo and it’s the only thing he’s not repressive about. Yes he could profess all his love for a bazillion girl, have sex with Theo then laugh it off but when it comes to Theo’s well-being he doesn’t hold back, all the walls just get hammered down when it comes to that. I can see Boris confessing his love if he thought he was about to lose Theo for good.

Theo’s well being is Boris’ weak spot for sure. I think it’s possible he confessed when they were teens (Theo attempted suicide multiple times in Vegas), and Theo either forgot or doesn’t want to tell us.

I also think this goes both ways. Theo’s incredibly upset by Boris’ abusive father, and it’s implied they kiss/have sex for the first time after the pool scene. He’s so distraught to see Boris in danger that he’s ready to give up the painting immediately when threatened, and he even kills a man for Boris.... oh and let’s not forget that time he ALMOST said I love you because he thought he’d never see Boris again, but also because he knew how much Boris needed him. He knew he’d be leaving Boris alone with his abusive father. The abusive father he witnessed beating the shit out of Boris with his own eyes. The abusive father who allegedly killed a man.

I just

i remember the way you shook / it’s a shame that we’re not soulmates / ‘cause if i didn’t know better, i’d say this feels pretty good

I would literally kill for Boris.