I, as a 26 year old adult in 2024, just had a nightmare about slenderman trying to get me. Come on.

ive got a pitch for a third ending of the movie

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

not to be the guy who stops and admires the flowers but when I go outside. they do draw me in fr fr

garf :3 💜💙

occasional posts from users

friday night in your 20s be like: making some pasta. i need to rollover my 401k. when i was a kid i assumed i'd be married by now. does my new fake plant look classy. i think i have a yeast infection. do my cats understand me. ran out of capri sun. i should do laundry. and then you don't do laundry

Paraglider and black vulture chilling

(via)

i love living in western washington. i can literally just get on the ferry

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

this too shall pass

youre covered in blood?? like some kind of slut??

Aging is hot. Gray hairs are hot. Smile lines are hot. Get with it.