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I'm not sure if you fully comprehend the Gold fuckin potato in front of you
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I want to start this series need donations for the better of ones education.
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You know when something you love is trending and there seems to be no specific reason
But you must know why?!
Yeah thats me at the moment
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The Two-Faced Jewel experience adventures in the ghost dryad mafia like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for jungle city represent T.rolly around diamond in the rough rain.
Two-Faced Jewel: Season 1 Recap
Sometimes I post session logs from Two-Faced Jewel, a formerly-D&D tabletop campaign I've been running for my friends @eternalfarnham and Zero. There's like a lot of them now, though! Maybe you thought they were interesting but didn't want to catch up on 20-odd longposts of someone going on about his D&D game. Wouldn't blame you! So I'm gonna do you a solid and compress the entire first "season" of the campaign into one cliffsnotes summary, so when I start posting the second season you can just pick up on the middle. Here goes!
This is Looseleaf! She is a magic moth, and she's going to school!
This is Saelhen! She is half-elf, half-crime, and she wants to steal from school!
School has a magic arm thing! Saelhen pretends to be a Fancy Lass Indeed, and gets the school to give her the magic arm thing!
But uh-oh! Now it's stuck, and she can't flog the magic sleeve for Loads of Money! Also, the school thinks someone should follow her around to study the magic sleeve, so now Looseleaf is following her! This is bad news for crime!
The magic sleeve says "go over there", so they Go Over There, and…
…oops! It opened a hole and made infinite bats from nightmare hell! Maybe this magic sleeve is bad news.
The school says "pshaaaaaaw, naaaah, it's fiiiiine", and when the sleeve says "now go over here!" the school sends them to do that again! Cool plan!
Problem is, this time "go over there" means "go really far away to a dangerous jungle", so Looseleaf and Saelhen need help! Let's meet help!
This is Orluthe! He has a halberd and is friends with God! Or, one of the gods! But secretly, he's not friends with that one! He's friends with a different one! Chicanery is afoot!
This is Oyobi! She has a bow and arrow and is friends with Looseleaf! But secretly, she's RUDE. Elf rude! It's like an invisible kind of rude only elves know about.
So they leave town to follow the sleeve and go over-
-Oh, hey. Uh… this guy's coming too, I guess! School says so! His name is Vayen, and he's friends with [NOBODY]! But secretly, he's, uh… he's secretly… he's definitely secretly something. I guess… that's fine…
So they go follow the arrow!
On the way, they stop by a town! The town's feuding with another town, because of murders!
Luckily, Looseleaf is magic! Her magic is really special, and she uses it to solve the crime! Turns out, this guy living in a torture wizard's evil torture tower did it! Huh! How 'bout that!
The guy tells them that a scary dragon was forcing him to do it, though, so the real problem is the dragon. But how are they gonna stop a dragon?! That's way out of their pay grade. They're gonna go call the fantasy cops instead.
So they go to another town, and they go grab a pack of high-level dragon-slaying adventurers, and have those guys do it. Very sensible!
(By the way: those guys apparently work for a shadowy conspiracy that's trying to hide from the gods themselves. So did the torture wizard! So does Looseleaf's long-lost sister, apparently! That's- that probably isn't relevant! It's fine! That plot can wait!
They go back to town, which has some monster problems to solve, and while the adventurers fight the dragon, the party… kidnaps a child! Rescues a child? She has a complicated relationship with her mom, which is definitely grounds to invisibly sneak her out of town to go adventuring with strangers! Yeah! Sure!
The party, plus a child, move on with their main quest- which means they all have to get on a boat! No, not this fancy boat- this other one. The fancy boat is way too fancy. They can't afford something like that! A different boat will be fine.
Guess what? The different boat gets attacked by a bazillion sea monsters! Including a dragon!
Luckily, they make friends with the dragon, who's really interested in the magic sleeve for some reason. This is yet another thing that's probably fine!
Finally, they reach Fantasy Bahamas Las Vegas, and it's time for a vacation while they wait for the ferry to their destination! They split up and stay at different resorts.
The next morning, oh crap! Fantasy Jimmy Buffett killed the other resort guy! At least, that's what the cops think, so Fantasy Jimmy Buffett hires them to investigate and prove his innocence!
Turns out, Fantasy Jimmy Buffett didn't do it! They prove that super good, by proving that he's a vampire and all his staff are enslaved vampire thralls and one of them did it to frame him as revenge for the slavery thing! Congratulations, Vampire Jimmy Buffett! You are innocent, and also, toast.
Now that Jimmy Buffett is dead, there are definitely no more problems ever- WHOOPS all those vampire thralls are now no longer under orders to not eat the guests. Oops. Better do something about that.
While fixing the vampire situation, they meet Miriko, vampire middle management, who turns over a new leaf and helps them wrangle the thralls and gives them all of Jimmy Buffett's stuff, under definitely no duress at all. The party offering to smuggle her off of the island to evade punishment for vampire crimes had nothing to do with it.
The little girl they kidnapped wants to go to the fashion school on the island, though, so… Saelhen pays for that! All kidnappings well that end well! It's very expensive, but they have all of Jimmy Buffett's stuff now, which includes a lot of money.
And would you look at that! All of Jimmy Buffett's stuff ALSO includes that very fancy boat from before! So… now the party has that!
They re-christen their new boat the Two-Faced Jewel, after its secret smuggling hold and definitely not to squeeze in a title drop- and now, they're off to the very dangerous jungle!
Next: adventures in the ghost dryad mafia jungle city, Thunderbrush!
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