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binah-beloved · 22 hours
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you can tell when Binah's meltdown is about to occur because she becomes subtly more affectionate. the nature of her soft kisses and careful hugs bleed into something more desperate, clinging to you as if trying to discern whether you're truly real or a dream she created as the Well eats away at her mind.
"Don't leave," she longs to whisper. "Stay with me. Please."
but the words slip away like dying circuits, and she can only hug you tighter.
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binah-beloved · 2 days
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Spoilers for library of ruina, star of the city fights
How do you think Binah felt during the Xiao fight?
Did she see a bit of herself in her? Maybe she felt bad, knowing she had taken Lowell from Xiao, just like you had been taken from her countless times before? Did the fight remind her that she might lose you again sometime?
outwardly, as usual, she doesn't react. her demeanor is elegant and calm as always, perfectly poised and silent. the only difference is a hand lightly placed over her chest, the first moments of a bow but never continuing- a new stance, perhaps? or maybe it's comfortable, the assistant librarians muse. Binah always has a reason for doing things, and this must be no different
in truth, they were correct. there was a reason for her posture, as there was for everything- because she felt something ache with remorse when she watched Xiao fight for her husband's book, burning herself and her opponents in fiery rage and despair. Binah quietly witnesses her defeat, holding the thick red book in her hands before looking up as a lovely, familiar voice called her name
she sees your worried gaze, blackened scorch marks on your arms after such a difficult fight, and Binah's heart cracks under the weight of all the times you've died and all the times you'll die again. her grip is firm and almost suffocatingly tight when she abruptly envelops you in a hug, helping you bandage your wounds with a soft murmur and pressing her forehead against yours as Xiao's cries still echo in both of your ears, all too reminiscent of Binah's own horrible screams when you were taken from her, and she was left alone with only the Well and insanity
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binah-beloved · 3 days
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Binah holding you close and humming you a lullaby, a hand over your eyes to prevent you from seeing the corpses and mangled bodies littered around your feet. she knows you hate to see your coworkers dead like this, so she averts your gaze, even as blood drips down your torso and your skin slowly turns cold, a gaping hole in the base of your neck.
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binah-beloved · 4 days
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Imagine there is an area in the library you and Binah often come to relax in. And you figured it would be nice to plant something in here to decorate it. And you just "happen" to also plant things she could use in tea making like lavender or mint.
Happy international tea day by the way.
i think the Library should have a greenhouse. just for fun
while the Library can technically manifest anything, it requires practice and a stable mind. fresh fruits and leaves and flowers don't do very well, so you've taken to growing your own after getting permission from Angela, scrounging a few seeds from around the Library and clearing out an empty room made of glass. it's slow going at first, with only a few sprouts to your name, but eventually your coworkers catch on and begin giving you any seeds they find and your garden begins flourishing. small tables appear for people to sit at and enjoy the foliage, inhaling the scent of herbs and flowers. you bring occasional bundles of tea supplies to Binah with a broad smile, saying that you had extra, and she looks at you with soft dark eyes and carefully takes them from your hand, brushing her hand against yours
you start finding packets of seeds waiting for you at a table in the corner of the room, tied with a silky black bow and accompanied by a steaming hot cup of tea, always in whatever blend you happened to give Binah that week
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binah-beloved · 4 days
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thanks for nothing now I have a brand new fictional crush
you're welcome
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binah-beloved · 5 days
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if you could leave the facility, Binah would like to go for walks when it snows. it's cold and white and utterly silent, her cloak standing out like a drop of ink against the icy landscape. she doesn't seem chilly- she never does- merely holding your hand as her breath comes out in small puffs. perhaps you have cuts, tiny slivers from hours of work, and she simply watches when a drop of ruby-red blood falls and dots the snow before raising your hand to her mouth and lightly kissing the wound
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binah-beloved · 6 days
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Decided to look at meltdown binah again and I kinda want to cup her face not gonna lie
that is the correct response
reach for her, in all her glory, her last moments as a true Arbiter. she's taller than you, taller than everyone, but you still try to extend a hand up as the rest of your coworkers scream and run and explode into viscera. there's a moment of silence as the Arbiter stares down at you, expressionless, before she slowly leans closer and presses her masked face into your palms. there's a peculiar, mechanical murmur as you tenderly cup her cheeks, almost a sound of contentment as the Arbiter pauses, then completely leans into your touch. the glowing golden markings on her segmented body dim as she relaxes, the meltdown slowing and quieting, and you're left with Binah in your arms once more
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binah-beloved · 7 days
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you and Binah sitting in a field together, your hands delicately weaving flowers into her hair as her eyes are closed. in truth, she's wide awake, allowing you to finish your work before she reaches up and brushes her fingers against your cheek, complimenting your handiwork with a subtly smug expression as she feels your face heat up with embarrassment.
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binah-beloved · 8 days
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hmm...
vampire Binah...
keep talking
Binah refuses to feed from you, ever. you're her love, her most precious treasure, and she wants nothing more than to hold and and protect you from the outside world for the rest of days. how strange- Binah is known for her ruthlessness, leaving corpses in her wake marked from pale claws stained with blood. mortals are but a meal to her, something to satiate her hunger and sadistic tendencies
but with you- with you- there's a constant need to pull you close, to wrap her arms around you and bury her face into your hair. her skin is cold as ice, but with you she feels a hint of warmth in her chest, a light, pleasant spark that comes whenever you lace your fingers with hers or give her a surprise hug from behind. she's fond of you, imagine, a bloodthirsty vampire having fallen for a human. so Binah won't ever feed from you, won't ever hurt you. even when her limbs ache and head burns from starvation, she'd rather kill hundreds of worthless others than to even graze your skin with those viper-sharp fangs of hers
perhaps, if she's lucky, you won't completely despise her when you discover that she's a monster
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binah-beloved · 8 days
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Get better soon!
illness cannot contain me for long.
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binah-beloved · 9 days
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Binah has hundreds of scars, some large like the familiar one in her torso and some small like the ones dotting her hands. but the one she keeps hidden is the one on her head, tucked under her hair. even with her jumbled memories, she can recall her head being ripped open, prodded and poked through while she was still alive and breathing and suffering.
it hurts. it hurts like being flayed, and sometimes she'll spend break hours gripping her head; silent, stoic agony.
but it slowly recedes when she feels a presence beside her, your gentle lips pressing a kiss to the scar, and the pain eventually fades as she allows herself to lean, just a little bit, against the warmth of your embrace.
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binah-beloved · 10 days
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feeling ill. no Binahposting today.
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binah-beloved · 11 days
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Birbna going through a molt... Maybe she'd let you help her with pin feathers. You ought to be very careful - they hurt when disturbed. But if you open the pins gently, you can free the stuck feathers and soothe the pain. Brushing Birbna's wings with a soft hairbrush, only to find out later that many birds only trust their mates to preen them anywhere but the head.
she tries not to let you see, not to force you to bear witness to this... mess. Binah knows she's hideous now, a warped beast of feathers and eyes and claws. you shouldn't have to deal with this. it's her burden to bear, her punishment
but alas, you're perceptive, as you always were, following the scattered feathers to where she's tucked herself away, hunched over and scratching erratically at her skin. she stiffens when you approach, then slowly slumps and extends one of her wings at your gentle request, trembling when you begin to carefully run your fingers through the feathers
you use the utmost care as you straighten bent feathers and remove loose ones, Binah leaning more and more of her weight on you until she abruptly sweeps her wings around you for a close hug. you're so gentle with her, so sweet and delicate despite how she's a monster now. or, more of a monster than she was. her claws run through her feathers, plucking a particularly glossy one with an iridescent sheen and pressing it into your hands. you'll keep it, won't you? to show that you're hers, and she's yours?
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binah-beloved · 12 days
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Binah would help you put up fairy lights and smile when you're giddy over the tiny glowing stars
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binah-beloved · 13 days
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remember reading your headcanon that arbiter's can't cry but what if when the library starts Binah when reformed was given the ability to cry and she realizes this when she finally gets you back within the library
Binah feels the dampness before anything, something strange welling up in her eyes and blurring her vision. her head aches with sudden pressure as she brings a hand to her face, grazing her cheekbones, and when she pulls away her fingertips are littered with tiny droplets
oh. oh.
the urge to let her newly-formed tears fall only grows as she walks up to you, both of you just staring at each other for a moment until Binah tentatively reaches out and cups your cheek, nails grazing soft, familiar skin for the first time in weeks, and her breath hitches subtly, tears beginning to fall as she gently pulls you into a firm hug
concerned, you tug on her sleeve, asking if she's alright, and Binah merely smiles as her tears finally spill over
"Yes. Now, I am alright. But allow me to indulge in your presence a little while longer... please."
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binah-beloved · 14 days
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when Binah looks at herself in the mirror at Lobotomy Corporation, she doesn't see herself. she looks like herself. she sounds like herself. even the way she stands is exactly the same. but she sees a stranger in the mirror staring back, a stranger with the same two-toned hair and beauty mark and cold eyes. an Arbiter reduced to a mere Sephirah of a facility she came to destroy.
that's not me.
in the Library, Binah catches a glimpse of herself in a mirror again. she looks different now, with longer hair and altered attire, her signature earring replaced with two smaller ones. she looks even less like "herself" than ever before. but her fingers lace with yours as you glance up at her and ask if she's alright, concern weaving through your voice, and Binah merely gives you a subtle smile and nods.
that's me in there. perfectly intact.
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binah-beloved · 15 days
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Every day I think about birbna... I used to own birds and sometimes they try to preen you even though you don't have feathers. It's like little tickly kisses. Imagine. Birbna trying to preen her favorite person.
this is a good ask.
Binah sets you in the nest she made, just for you and her, and settles in behind you. she picks and pokes at your clothes and hair, her black feathers ruffling at the wear and tear and countless injuries littering your body from the arduous journey to the Library. if it could even be called a Library anymore, filled with monsters instead of books. carefully, the distorted Arbiter plucks every speck of dirt and blood away, straightening out your attire and neatening your dusty hair. her claws scrape lightly against your skin, finding nothing to comb through and tensing in agitation until you lean against her, eyes shut as she lets out a low croon and cocoons you in her feathered wings
Binah. it's still Binah. she strokes your hair and holds you the same way, even if her form is warped and distorted. she's still Binah
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