The Prophet (S) said, ‘There are two kinds of people from my community who if they are sound [of faith] my community will be sound, and if they are corrupt my community will become corrupt.’ The Prophet was asked, ‘And who are they O messenger of Allah?’ He replied, ‘The jurists and the leaders.’
—Prophet Muhammad Mustafa (SAWAW), al-Khisal, p. 37, no. 12
The Messenger of Allah (blessings of Allah be upon him and his family) has said: “One who listens to the Qur’an (while it is being recited) will be kept away from the evils of this world; and one who recites the Qur’an will be kept away from the trials of the hereafter. And the person who listens to even one verse of the book of Allah - this is better (for him) than possessing a mansion of gold.”
trying to wake up for tahajjud + fajr is something that i've been trying to do consistently, especially as it's winter and the days are shorter. this can be hard with my uni studies/lectures and other commitments when I just want to sleep for longer and not wake up.
however, these are some things that help me form a routine:
sleep early
this means that you're getting enough sleep to not be as tired when you wake up. try and go to sleep around the same time every night so that when you do wake up for tahajjud, your body adjusts over time to this new routine. i tried to be asleep by 11pm and my body naturally started to wake me up around 5-5:30am because of this, alhamdulillah.
setting multiple alarms
i am that girl who will wake up her whole house with alarms before it even wakes her up. if i want to wake up at 5:45, i set them for 5:40, 5:45, 5:50, 6:00 and eventually i get tired of snoozing them all and just get out of bed.
repeating 'prayer is better than sleep' in my head
sometimes it is so tempting to say 'i'll get up in 5 minutes...' and then that 5 minutes turn into 2 hours. when having the urge to say this to myself and close my eyes, i try and battle it by repeating that phrase in my head which reminds me the blessings of salat and helps me get out of bed.
waking up 30 minutes before fajr
by the time i finish praying tahajjud, it is fajr time and i get to complete the first prayer on time as well. this will make it feel easier as you're not waking up in the middle of the night and then going back to sleep and missing fajr or having to wake up for it again - you get to pray both around the same time.
doing something after fajr before a nap
sometimes it's hard to go back to sleep after fajr on the days where I start university late/it's the weekend but i still want some rest. i started to do some reading after fajr to make me sleepy so that in an hour or two, i'd go back to sleep for another 2 hours and wake up feeling well rested and continue with the rest of the day. i'm always the most productive on these days. of course, it depends on your life schedule and what is going on in your life as well.
reading about the blessings of tahajjud
understanding this makes me want to pray tahajjud even more as i know the benefits and beauty of waking up in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep and Allah has descended to the lowest heaven in the third part of the night. it makes me want to wake up and be close to Him.
these are just what work for me. if these do not work for you, try and see what does and Insha’Allah you will form your own routine. may Allah make it easy for us all, Ameen.
read the Qur'an everyday
reading the word of Allah and understanding what you are reading will make you feel close to Him as you know that this is not a Book that anyone has just written - it has come directly from Allah SWT. subhanallah. reading and understanding what He says will make you want to practise what the Qur'an says and, in turn, be closer to Him.
be around people who remember Allah
human beings have great influence on each other so it is important to have righteous people around you. their relationship with Allah SWT will inspire you to build and improve yours.
understand what you recite in salah
knowing what you are reciting will help you understand how many blessings you are gaining with just a single prayer. take time to learn the translation (if you do not speak/understand arabic) of what you are reciting and why.
learn Allah's 99 names and attributes
'And to Allah alone belong all perfect attributes; so call on Him by these' (7:181) Allah likes it when we call Him by his names and it is important to recognise and understand Him. think of Him as your friend: when you get to know someone better, you get closer to them. it is the same thing, in fact, better, with Allah SWT.
have secret good deeds between you and Allah
again, like having a friend, having something that is just between you and your Lord will make you feel closer to Him.
make lots of du'a - especially in sujood
having your dua's come true is the best feeling, especially when you have been praying for something for a long time, alhamdulillah. praying for anything, no matter how big or small, will make you feel closer to Him as you know that He alone will make everything okay and knows what is best for you.
remember death and prepare for it
this one can be very hard but it is important to remember that death can come at anytime so always try and do good deeds and live righteously in order to please Allah. when having this mindset that each day is a new chance to seek forgiveness and do good deeds, you will feel closer to Him by wanting Him to be happy with you.
“Pay attention to the things you are naturally drawn to. They are often connected to your path, passion, and purpose in life. Have the courage to follow them.”
If you understand how empathy can be weaponised against someone or can be harmful, you should understand why some disorders have the symptom of lacking empathy.
Abusers weaponising your empathy to make you feel awful, to make you feel trapped and like you’ve done wrong and should be punished
Abusers who use their own empathy to make your own problems about them, to strip you of your own power and to make you feel like your problems aren’t worth talking about.
Tradgedies where empathy causes extreme pain or adds onto a traumatic event and makes it much worse
These things result in a lack of empathy being a coping mechanism. Not emotionally feeling what others are feeling is a way we’ve protected ourselves against abuse and trauma.
NPD and ASPD never was about abusing people, it’s about protecting a self who’s been permanently traumatised.