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bigjigglylump · 1 month

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The hate eats at my bones

If I could, I would burn it away

Maybe then it would all be gone.

But what would be left?

My hate is rooted so deep

Who am I without it?

Maybe tonight I’ll drink it away

Or cut it away

And maybe then I’d have some peace.

#poetry #angry

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bigjigglylump · 2 months

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Sometimes when I try to put my feelings on paper

They fight me

And all the words I want to say get stuck inside

And I feel the waves of my emotions building

Knowing they won’t break just yet

But wanting them to desperately

#poetry #sad night

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bigjigglylump · 2 months

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My uncle passed 3 years ago, and I haven’t been the same since.

I still can’t listen to his favourite song without my chest hurting and tears falling from my eyes.

I still can’t look at cars that looked like the one he used to blast those country songs in and drive real fast.

And I can’t go into hospitals without remembering the last time I got to see him, and his last words to me being “I love you too”

I wish the grief wouldn’t consume me still, but I can’t help that I still have all this love and nowhere to put it.

#sadgirl #loss #i miss you #sad night

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bigjigglylump · 2 months

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When I look in the mirror I don’t see me as I am now

I see the 7 year old that just wanted love

I see the 10 year old that just wanted her grandma

I see the 15 year old that just wanted to be understood

I see them all and they are all me

And I love them.

#sadgirl

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bigjigglylump · 2 months

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feeling fruity

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bigjigglylump · 3 months

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Me all day everyday:

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bigjigglylump · 3 months

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Change is probably my most haunting fear

When I have to make any change in my life, I feel as if I’m ending, as if my world is ending

And as the panic grips my soul and stabs my heart, everything changes around me

But I am stuck in place, trying desperately to find some semblance of what was before

I wish I wasn’t afraid, I wish I could change

#poetry #poem

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bigjigglylump · 3 months

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The world continues to change around me

But I am stuck as the person I was ten years ago

When my world shifted

And I became a hollow shell of myself

I feel the young girl inside me begging to be laid to rest

But like everything I’ve ever lost, I’m afraid to let go

#poetry #poem

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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I watch my mania turn from violence to poems and feel myself trapped in it

Mint being able to write the words my heart needs to release

But I much rather hurt the page than myself

Lord knows what my family would think if they gave a damn

But then again why should I care if they don’t

#sadgirl #poetry #sad night #sad poem

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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I wish this soju would erase your memory

But all it does it bring me more regret

Regret that I let you leave

That I left myself falling

Falling away from everything I knew

Digging myself a hole in my heart for you

#heartbreak #breakup #poetry #sad night #sad poem

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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The drunker I get, the more I think of you.

Even now, as I’m surrounded by these empty bottles, they mock me.

I feel you mock me with each sip, and it only makes me want to drink more.

You mock my soul as i down another bottle, but fuck, I’d give anything to keep you with me.

So I raise another to my lips, and as it burns it’s fire down to my belly, I feel you burn my mind with your scorn.

#heartbreak #sadgirl #pain in my heart #poetry #sad night

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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If I could go back in time only once, where would I go?

Would go back to the day I got my favorite dog, and relive the happiness I felt?

Would I go back to when my niece was born and I got to hold her in my arms and admire her precious face?

Or would I even go back to the day I lost my innocence and became painfully aware of the world and all it’s pains?

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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I wonder when the last time I will feel the rain on my face

When I drive through the countryside and let the wind tease my hair

When I walk this world on my own two feet and wander

When will be the last time I look at this world before I depart it

When will I draw my last breath and give in to the dark, to the nothing

And I wonder, who will gather in my absence, and grieve for my poor, wretched soul

#poetry

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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I will never be able to pay you back for the shame I’ve caused you

I didn’t know just existing could be so damaging

I hope you forgive me in another life

I’m sorry dad.

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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Why do I write. Perhaps in order to not go mad. Or, on the contrary, to touch the bottom of madness.

-Elie Wiesel

#poetry #poem

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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I want to drag the blade of your love against my throat

Until I drown in my devotion for you

And draw my last breath giving all of me to you

And as my vision fades and so too does my soul

I know that even that will never be enough for you

#sadgirl #pain in my heart #sad night #sad poem

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bigjigglylump · 4 months

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Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.

-David Foster Wallace

#sadgirl #sad poem #poetry

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