almost wrote some absolute sloppy filth but just rubbed one out instead. you’re welcome my next reincarnation enjoy beink a grub instead of a leaf n remember my sacrifices

“Mixologist” shut the fuck up, say boozewizard like a fucking adult

torture the bisexual brunette man some more

Yes, these Muppets have taken Manhattan. The question now is can they HOLD it

Ok so apparently the girls went out for tinis and bruschetta without me

they should invent a being in your twenties in which you do not feel your life is unsalvageable and ruined

patch of sunlight from the window save me

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

*guy who hasn't eaten lunch voice* been really into the idea of picking a direction and running as fast as I can in a straight line until I collapse and die

we must assume that Treasure Planet takes place in the distant future and not an alternate universe for one ☝️ reason only and THAT is the shining hope that Jim Hawkins has unrestricted access to Iris by the goo goo dolls

Making friends as an adult is so unnecessarily complicated omfg can we just survive a plane crash together or something. Can we move this along

greasy hair is like the poisoned condition in a video game. but more evil