beware-my-sting
i drink diet coke and write things
not necessarily in that order
If_i_be_waspish on ao3
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Chapters: 6/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there's a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
“Hello,” Alex’s voice is just as sultry and sexy as ever, but Matt does not miss the fact that she doesn’t use the silly nickname she has for him and his heart aches in its absence.
“I’m sorry.”
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for when they come back
You are not the words he gave you.
The cruel ones that snuck in between the sweet ones that came first.
Like the frog in the pot, it doesn’t even matter if the story is true,
you were drowning in a sea long before you ever felt wet,
salt in your lungs
in your open, open wounds.
How you wanted to swim,
how you wanted to keep your head above water
to prove it.
But you
sank like a stone,
pulled under by the weight of all the words that came before even him,
each one a burden,
heavy on your heart,
on your skin, like all the scars you don’t have
because you never let yourself cut too deep.
Not the way you let him.
Tongue like a switchblade
and when that didn’t work, sometimes when it did,
an open palm,
a closed fist,
and you
let
it
happen,
didn’t know how to stop it when the water finally closed in.
The fault, dear one, is not your own.
You were born worthy.
And you were never taught the language of self-love,
so you worshipped at the altar of
self-flagellation,
beat yourself bloody
until you found someone
who would do it for you.
But someday, sweet girl,
You will hear the word ‘beautiful’
from tender lips that mean it,
and you
will not
flinch.
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treasure
I didn’t know silence could ache,
could draw blood from fragile, tender places,
make them burn.
I haven’t written anything for someone in so long
that I wonder if I’ve forgotten how.
Is this it?
My therapist tells me I need to practice creating boundaries.
She doesn’t know about my walls
how I painstakingly built them brick by brick,
tears for mortar -
and do you know how ineffective that is?
How it holds nothing together, least of all me?
What I mean to say is that I fall apart
constantly.
I am a heap of rubble more often than not,
and maybe your hands can put me back together,
but also maybe they can’t
and both are okay.
Maybe I never knew how.
Maybe this isn’t for you at all - maybe this is for me.
And why does that feel like the same thing these days, and so soon?
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treasure
I didn’t know silence could ache,
could draw blood from fragile, tender places,
make them burn.
I haven’t written anything for someone in so long
that I wonder if I’ve forgotten how.
Is this it?
My therapist tells me I need to practice creating boundaries.
She doesn’t know about my walls
how I painstakingly built them brick by brick,
tears for mortar -
and do you know how ineffective that is?
How it holds nothing together, least of all me?
What I mean to say is that I fall apart
constantly.
I am a heap of rubble more often than not,
and maybe your hands can put me back together,
but also maybe they can’t
and both are okay.
Maybe I never knew how.
Maybe this isn’t for you at all - maybe this is for me.
And why does that feel like the same thing these days, and so soon?
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suspension I
I’ve never been loved like that. Like wildfire ripping through pines, smoke billowing up into the sky until everything is black, coated in a haze, in a grit you can never get rid of. You will spend your life tasting it, the only thing on the edge of your lips when you try to remember his taste. Like lilac honey in winter, something so out of place it feels holy.
Like goodbye. he never said it, but it didn’t stop me
from hearing it.
You don’t need to see the forest for the trees if it is on fire - if your whole life has been only self-immolation, your naked body cloaked in the scent of sulfur,
and smoke.
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suspension
I’ve never been loved like that. Like wildfire ripping through pines, smoke billowing up into the sky until everything is black, coated in a haze, in a grit you can never get rid of. You will spend your life tasting it, the only thing on the edge of your lips when you try to remember their taste. Like lilac honey in winter, something so out of place it feels holy.
Like goodbye. they never said it, but it didn’t stop me
from hearing it.
You don’t need to see the forest for the trees if it is on fire - if your whole life has been only self-immolation, your naked body cloaked in the scent of sulfur,
and smoke.
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Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there’s a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
Matt finally takes Alex up on her offer.
(this chapter is NSFW).
6 notes
·
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Link
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there’s a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
Matt finally takes Alex up on her offer.
(this chapter is NSFW).
6 notes
·
View notes
Link
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there’s a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
Matt finally takes Alex up on her offer.
(this chapter is NSFW).
6 notes
·
View notes
Link
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there's a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
Matt finally takes Alex up on her offer.
(this chapter is NSFW).
6 notes
·
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Note
21 and 56? Thanks!
21. Married. 🤓 56. No. None that I know of, anyway...
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59?
I actually haven’t... which seems weird, now that I think of it.
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Text
Ask me some questions!
3 Fears
3 things I love
2 turns on
2 turns off
My best friend
Sexual orientation
How tall am I
What do I miss right now
Favourite color
Do I have a crush
Favourite place
What am I listening to right now
Shoe size
Eye color
Hair color
Meaning behind my URL
Favourite song
Favourite band
How I feel right now
Someone I love
My current relationship status
My relationship with my parents
Favourite season
Tattoos and piercing i have
Tattoos and piercing i want
The reasons I joined Tumblr
Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?
Where am I right now?
Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
Am I excited for anything?
Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
How often do I wear a fake smile?
If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
What do I think about most?
Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
What was the last lie I told?
Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Do I believe in magic?
Do I believe in luck?
What’s the weather like right now?
What was the last book I’ve read?
Do I have any nicknames?
Do I spend money or save it?
Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
Favourite animal?
What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
What is my favorite word?
My top 5 blogs on tumblr
If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
Do I have any relatives in jail?
What is my current desktop picture?
Had sex?
Bought condoms?
Gotten pregnant?
Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
Had job?
Smoked weed?
Smoked cigarettes?
Drank alcohol?
Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
Been overweight?
Been underweight?
Gotten my heart broken?
Been to prom?
Been in airplane?
Learned another language?
Wore make up?
Dyed my hair?
Had a surgery?
Met someone famous?
Stalked someone on a social network?
Been fishing?
Been rejected by a crush?
What do I want for birthday?
Do I like my handwriting?
Where do I want to live when older?
Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
What I’m really bad at
What my greatest achievments are
The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
What I’d do if I won in a lottery
What do I like about myself
My closest Tumblr friend
Any question you’d like?
Are you outgoing or shy?
What kind of people are you attracted to?
Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
What does the most recent text that you sent say?
What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
Do you like it when people play with your hair?
Do you think there is life on other planets?
Do you like bubble baths?
Do you like your neighbors?
Where would you like to travel?
Favorite part of your daily routine?
What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
What do you do when you wake up?
Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
Do you ever want to get married?
If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
Would you rather live without TV or music?
Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Do you smile at strangers?
Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
Ever wished you were someone else?
Favourite makeup brand?
Last thing you ate?
Ever won a competition? For what?
Ever been in love?
Facebook or Twitter?
Twitter or Tumblr?
Are you watching tv right now?
What colour are your towels?
Favourite ice cream flavour?
First person you talked to today?
Last person you talked to today?
Name a person you hate?
Name a person you love?
Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
Do you tan a lot?
Have any pets?
Do you type fast?
Do you regret anything from your past?
Ever broken someone’s heart?
Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
Is cheating ever okay?
Do you believe in true love?
What your zodiac sign?
Do you believe in ghosts?
Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)
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Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there’s a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
“Hello, big boy,” she greets, and she hears his low, sexy chuckle on the other end of the line. It’s an utterly ridiculous nickname, but it makes him laugh and she has come to love that sound.
“Hello, Alex,” he greets her back and the sound of her name in his mouth makes heat slide through her body – yes, everything about Matt – whoever he is – is dangerous territory.
“Can I finally offer you a wank tonight?” She asks, adopting a low and throaty tone.
She always asks him this one way or another, and his ‘No’ and “Not Tonights’ are becoming decidedly slower. The thought pleases her, honestly.
“Not tonight,” Matt replies carefully and Alex grins – it’s his slowest response time to her question yet.
8 notes
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Link
Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Characters: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston
Additional Tags: AU, Phone sex operator AU, Starts out fairly innocuously, questions to fall in love, there’s a whole thing, john barrowman makes an appearance
Summary:
“Hello, big boy,” she greets, and she hears his low, sexy chuckle on the other end of the line. It’s an utterly ridiculous nickname, but it makes him laugh and she has come to love that sound.
“Hello, Alex,” he greets her back and the sound of her name in his mouth makes heat slide through her body – yes, everything about Matt – whoever he is – is dangerous territory.
“Can I finally offer you a wank tonight?” She asks, adopting a low and throaty tone.
She always asks him this one way or another, and his ‘No’ and “Not Tonights’ are becoming decidedly slower. The thought pleases her, honestly.
“Not tonight,” Matt replies carefully and Alex grins – it’s his slowest response time to her question yet.
8 notes
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