thinking about them

writers and artists will go "this isn't good enough." my brother in christ, you're creating something new out of nothing and expressing yourself creatively. your productivity and unrealistic standards of perfection do not define you or the worth of your art. you're doing great.

10 Times Camilla and Henry Were Obviously a Couple Before (anyone knew) They Were a Couple

Page numbers are from the April 2004 Vintage Contemporaries paperback published in the U.S.

10. There was a brief silence after she had finished; rather to my surprise, Henry winked solemnly at her from across the table. (p. 38)

9. “Henry, I wish you’d put me down. I’m too heavy for you.”   He smiled at her. There was a slight chip in one of his front teeth I’d never noticed before; it gave his smile a very engaging quality. “You’re light as a feather, he said.” (p. 98)

8. “What do you and Henry need a secret code for?”   “It’s not a secret.”   “Then why didn’t you tell me?”   “Charles, don’t be such a baby.” (p. 248)

7. Henry took the box from her and struck one himself; it flared up high and strong and she leaned close to it, one hand cupped around the flame and the other resting upon his wrist. (p. 309) Note: This is such a favorite of mine because it seems like such a tiny thing, but there’s a section break right after this—so we’re meant to focus on Camilla’s hand resting on Henry’s wrist, and on the act of lighting someone’s cigarette for them: an action that’s totally casual and yet remarkably intimate.

6.  Henry was distracted. The FBI had paid him another visit the night before—what they wanted he didn’t say—and he was talking on and on in a low voice about Schliemann’s Ilios…   …She hadn’t been there when I brought Charles home, and she looked like she’d just got out of bed herself; tousle-haired, no lipstick, wearing a gray wool sweater that came down past her wrists. (p. 369) Note: We find out later from Charles that Henry was so distraught that morning because he was “almost sure he was going to be arrested.” Charles also says that Camilla had no idea that Henry (and Charles himself) were in so much trouble. I very much doubt that: It’s almost certain that Camilla was with Henry all night. Was this the first time they slept together? I don’t know, but just two pages later, we get this:

5. “Leave me alone,” he muttered, seizing Camilla by the wrist and trying to push through to the door. (p. 371) Note: There’s only one other time Henry has been physically protective of Camilla, and that was at the lake when she cut her foot—a scene that Tartt obviously considered important enough to spend nearly four pages on. But is Henry shielding Camilla here, or reaching out to her as a lifeline? Either way, it’s a visible continuation of whatever went on between the two of them the night before.

4. “…I’ve heard her talking on the phone.”   “And saying what?”   “Oh nothing, but like two or three in the morning, whispering, you’ve got to wonder.” (p. 399)

3. “Do you suppose Henry’s all right?”   “Oh, he’s fine,” said Camilla, busy with knife and fork.   “How do you know?”   She paused, the fork in mid-air; her glance was like a light turned suddenly into my face. “Because I just saw him.”   “Where?”   “At his apartment. This morning.” (p. 425-426)

2. The twins weren’t like Henry; if they were home, they would generally answer the phone. But no one did answer, I dialed again and glanced at my watch. Eleven-twenty. I couldn’t think where Camilla would be that time of night. (p. 428)

1. …it wasn’t that though, but something else, indefinable, that somehow had changed since I had seen him last…   Henry glanced up. “Salve, amice,” he said, and a subtle animation flickered in his rigid features, usually so locked up, and distant…   “You look well,” I said to him, and he did. (p. 429)

happy they killed bunny corcoran day!

francis abernathy

A couple of little Flemish angels

anyway the actual point of fandom is to inspire each other. reading each other's fics and admiring each other's art and saying wow i love this and i feel something and i want to invoke this in other people, i want to write a sentence that feels like a meteor shower, i want to paint a kiss with such tenderness it makes you ache, i want to create something that someone else somewhere will see it and think oh, i need to do that too, right now. i am embracing being a corny cunt on main to say inspiring each other is one of the things humanity is best at and one of the things fandom is built for and i think that's beautiful

I think one of the slept on things that makes The Secret History feel like a real world is Donna Tartt's willingness to introduce a character that is just never brought up again (or brought up once or twice again.)

Because i'm real life, not every person you meet is going to have significance in your life. Not everyone is going to change that plot. Think about the teacher that takes over when Julian leaves. Or the farmer who claims to have seen Bunny. Or Richard's one night stand. Even the man stalking Henry and Bunny in Italy doesn't show up later.

And not only does this fill the gaps in the world, it absolutely helps build suspense. You never know if a character might have significance later, because there's simply no pattern to follow. It keeps you guessing.

Did I mention I started rereading The Secret History

One thing which I think gets overlooked in the discourse surrounding TSH is how much Charles changes through the story. Before Bunny's murder, he and Camilla seem to be the heart of the group. They are sweet to each other, welcoming to Richard, and just generally seem much better adjusted and kind. Charles is vocal about the fact that even considering killing Bunny is awful, and I think he is pretty consistently against it. Yes, Charles is an alcoholic, but given the company he keeps and the trauma of losing his parents, it's hardly surprising. I don't think I ever got the sense of him being a mean drunk, just someone who struggles to deal with his daily reality and needs a form of escapism and a coping mechanism - albeit an unhealthy one.

The murder of Bunny and the fact that he's much more involved with the police, and starts (understandably) to hate Henry is, I think, what really turns him to the dark side. None of the main characters are good people, and all are made worse by the events of the book. Charles' arc, though, is arguably the darkest, most severe, and most noticeable. Perhaps it's the guilt, or having to interact with Bunny's family, or just the fact that nothing he does will ever be as bad as killing a trusted friend. Why would you care about being an ass when you're a murderer?

Can't stop thinking about how chaotic everything must have been immediately after Henry's suicide. Henry dropping on the floor with a thud. Camilla breaking down screaming, leaning in on instinct to try and do something about it, Henry's words to her echoing in her head. Francis getting physically ill right away from the shock and at the sight of the blood slowly spreading on the carpet, crying and gagging in a corner. Charles, dazed, silently staring at Henry's body laying there, trying to make sense of it, realizing it was partly his fault. Richard just helplessly watching the whole scene, bleeding out on the chair, astounded and dizzy as he tries to hold onto his consciousness, only to pass out a few moments later with the image of Henry's last moments alive imprinted in his mind forever.

I know Bunny died around April but it's not clear what's the exact date?

Do you know, fellow secret historians?

The snow on the mountain was melting...

idk who needs to hear this henry is canonically compared to superman, played by christopher reeve on the big screen for the first time

Another ✨️WORK IN PROGRESS✨️ cause I can't bring myself to finish anything lately

It looks better in my head and I WILL make it look better

I just have to gather some stamina...

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

how does one go back to being a normal, functioning human being after reading the secret history??

To me it was a mix of

needlessly extremely detailed recounts of anything interesting he did everyday

long monologues about whatever they were studying at the time and constant mentions of what Julian had to say about it

since he talked about Bunny I guess he would have done the same with everyone else too, so just his random opinions on everyone and the things they said and did

the most pathetic yearning for Camilla because if he went 'You're light as a feather' to her in person I'm sure he was writing love declarations and poems in there

thinking about henry's journal... what else was in there... I need to get inside of Tartt's head NOW.

diversity win! your unreliable narrator is gay